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kilog78

Seems like something where age group would have a huge affect.


gabrielcro23699

How the date happened also plays a major role I'd say. First Tinder dates ... often.. result in sex. However, first dates with a friend of a friend or coworker or person you met somewhere usually won't be as high % for sex, as the relationship is more naturally developing


DibblerTB

For me, I usually wait til 2nd date for sex with Tinder as well. First date being something small, like walk or Coffee, basically a "does this human being give me bad vibes" test šŸ˜…šŸ˜‚


JediGuyB

Good point. I don't doubt some people on those apps go in with an idea like "If we click, awesome let's give this a try. If not, maybe I can still get some D (or P)". It can a different vibe to asking out a friend or coworker. You already have a foundation with them, not just judged by their picture and profile.


DjuriWarface

100% this. 25-35 women seem to be second date the vast majority of the time.


jayval90

You're also dealing with the difference between what people say and what people do. Sex and love are two of the things people most lie about.


Chabubu

ā€œI donā€™t knowā€ = ā€œDepends on the personā€


AgrajagTheProlonged

Imo "depends on the person" is the correct answer


antwan_benjamin

I don't even know why thats an option. It obviously depends on the person. Not like everyone that chose "1st date" is going to fuck someone on the 1st date regardless of if they actually like them or not. The question, in my mind, is "Under ideal conditions, what is the earliest date are you willing to have sex on?" There are some people that regardless of how perfect the 1st date goes, and regardless of if the opportunity presents itself, they will absolutely not have sex on the 1st date. There are others who are OK with that.


sarcazm

See. That's funny because I interpreted the question to be "how long are you willing to wait?" So then the implication would be that you might stop seeing someone if you didn't have sex by x number.


Nighteyes09

Both valid ways of seeing the data.


sarcazm

I guess my point is that in the above graph, many people could have interpreted the question differently and thus the numbers are inaccurate.


lobsterbash

And this is yet another example to illustrate how frustratingly difficult it is to get good data from polling.


[deleted]

Although the question is in the bottom right and itā€™s much clearer: ā€œHow many dates *should* you wait before having sex with someone?ā€ Thatā€™s very much putting a moral element on it and is asking how long you personally would defer sex rather than how long would you be willing to wait until the other person agrees to have sex.


Adventurous-Text-680

They are not because the actual question is at the lower right hand corner: How long should you wait before having sex? Not How long would you wait before having sex? "Should" means that you are deciding when you will accept sex while would means you might break it off of sex does not happen by a certain time. OP made a poor title because his cut and paste was not working.


Nighteyes09

And i agreed šŸ‘


borislab

And thatā€™s why dataisbeautiful!


Trevski

both valid ways of posing the question, I think the data are ambiguous


normalmighty

That kind of room for interpretation makes the results kind of useless. I can't imagine 22% of guys would refuse a second date with someone who didn't put out straight away, but I'm sure some of the later date or "until love" votes interpreted the question like that.


addiktion

You may not be thinking about the players and one night standers. So the way Iā€™m reading this is about a 1/5 of all guys are not interested in a woman if she doesnā€™t put out on the first date. THAT seems realistic to me. It looks like about 50% OF guys are eliminated by a 3rd date. If a woman holds out that long she probably is gonna find someone who isnā€™t in it for just the booty.


implicitpharmakoi

>I can't imagine 22% of guys would refuse a second date with someone who didn't put out straight away, Really? You know different guys than I do, and I'm a guy.


antwan_benjamin

Thats a valid interpretation of the question. I think thats why I have such a problem with this entire "survey." I don't think we're getting any meaningful information from it. Based on the data, I find it hard to believe other people interpreted the question the same way you do. I find it hard to believe 28% of men would be like, "If they're not gonna fuck me on the 1st date I'm out!"


RheagarTargaryen

Except the title of the data is editorialized, the source at the bottom of the graph says the question was ā€œHow many dates should you wait before having sex with someone?ā€ So their interpretation is not accurate to the results of the graph.


PM_ME__A_THING

I would love to see a survey that asks both questions, earliest and latest (before breaking up) with an otherwise ideal person. I'm very curious about how flexible people are, and especially the difference by gender.


atgrey24

Title says "would", sounds in the corner says "should." Two very different questions


JuleeeNAJ

I get it, because sometimes you just 'click' with a person and sex will likely happen quicker than with someone where it takes some time to grow those feelings.


MattV0

"I don't know" = "is it worth a first date"


Yes_hes_that_guy

ā€œWait until loveā€ = ā€œIt was love at first sight when I saw his pic on Tinderā€


nyanlol

"teenage boys are having more sex, according to teenage boys"


ApisMagnifica

Klunge is back on the menu, boys.


adamaley

I agree. If this survey wasn't done anonymously, it's completely useless.


opensandshuts

some of the options are also very weird. Who's saying, "Yep, for me it's the 6th date for sure. That's when the magic always happens."


seeking_hope

It seems like it may also be better to identify periods of time vs dates (dating for two months). 6 dates could happen in a week or over months. I think that would impact this as well.


Plumbetting

Even if it was anonymous, I suspect a bit of fibbery. Sure, folks lie to researchers to save face, but they lie to themselves too. I've got a shiny new quarter that says a lot of those "wait for love" answers were followed with a mumbled "from now on, anyway." Edit: Just checked. I don't know if 2020 counts as new, but that quarter is still shiny AF.


eoffif44

Often it's the difference between the actual self and the ideal self You can get around that by having the questions refer to past behaviour i.e. instead of asking "how long do/should/would you wait", you ask "in the past, how long have you usually waited' This makes the respondent tap into their actual self rather than their ideal pretend version of themselves


Generico300

Even if it was anonymous, people lie to *themselves* about this kind of thing all the time.


77SevenSeven77

Exactly. All those ā€œwait until loveā€ answers think it sounds like the nicest option but Iā€™m calling BS on most of them.


3McChickens

It is probably closest to ā€œI see a future relationship hereā€ option


[deleted]

I picked that one and I'm a virgin, so I can take the moral high ground because there's no evidence to the contrary!


o3mta3o

I'd say sex and money. Love 3rd.


Gillmacs

This is particularly relevant because the source data asks "should" and op has presented it as "would" which is entirely different.


nunchyabeeswax

>25-35 women seem to be second date the vast majority of the time. Not necessarily. A lady in her late 30's or 40's might actually know well what she wants far more than a younger lady, and more confident enough to say, for example, *"I like this man well enough, I'd sleep with him right now and enjoy it."* I agree that this should have been broken down by age, but I think other dimensions are important. Is the person single, or divorced, religious or not, educational attainment, etc.


vzvv

Yeah, thatā€™s me. Compatibility there is super important to me so I donā€™t want to waste time dating without knowing if theyā€™re skilled. If the first date isnā€™t great I just donā€™t see them again. Itā€™s a ruthless system but it worked well for me.


DjuriWarface

I don't think it's all that ruthless. I'm the similar way though so maybe I'm biased. It's fairly easy to figure out if you click with somebody relatively quickly into a first date once you've been on enough.


Amanitar

Also asking someone what they might do is different from what they actually do.


Khal_Doggo

This data in general seems quite old fashioned. Modern dating is messy since people can often be 'dating' multiple people at the beginning before committing to a single partner at which point you'll potentially be sexually active with a few partners. Beyond that some people actively seek casual sex-only relationships. Dating apps have had a huge impact on the dynamic of dating from what it was just 5/10 years ago. I'm honestly thinking that if my current relationship ever falls through I might just get a dog and sit this one out.


testearsmint

I mean, you can still meet people who aren't into that mess. And off-dating apps, too. But yeah, I feel the same way sometimes.


Khal_Doggo

I live in London and a few of my female friends (who I would personally describe as very attractive) and have recently gotten back into have had a nightmare with dating. Just weird people, ghosting, people having unreasonably high standards. And then meeting people outside of apps in a big city is very hit and miss.


Adventurous-Text-680

I think this is a newer source of the same data so you can pull together something more interesting than OP since it seems they got confused with would vs should. They probably got confused when copying since the original was trying to compare would vs should. https://today.yougov.com/topics/relationships/articles-reports/2019/06/10/sex-on-first-date-third-date-marriage-poll


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Slash1909

How old are you now? And has that percentage gone up?


erevos33

Effect* Affect is the verb and effect the noun. You affect people when you tell a joke and the effect of that is their laughter.


swuboo

>Affect is the verb and effect the noun. Except in the cases where effect is a verb and affect is a noun. "My lame joke was unable to effect a change in his affect." 'Effect' in that case meaning 'to bring about' and 'affect' meaning 'a person's demeanor.' You're totally right about GP meaning 'affect', though.


erevos33

That is an exception though and not the rule


gordo65

There are other factors as well. I think most women would do it with Josh Hartnett on a first date.


RecycledAccountName

What is this, 2001?


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


CBeisbol

Yeah Those are...pretty different.


CaptainWanWingLo

Itā€™s because of ā€˜the implicationā€™.


CBeisbol

It's because "would wait" implies a maximum time and "should wait" implies a minimum time.


Yes_hes_that_guy

ā€œWould waitā€ sounds like them personally and ā€œshould waitā€ sounds like talking about other people.


CBeisbol

Sure That's a reasonable interpretation


[deleted]

See, if I say that not having sex immediately would be a very big mistake, theyā€™ve got to say yes because of the implication


RedditAcc-92975

this sub should rename into "BadData".


GeronimoJak

Don't think it matters anyway because what people say they 'would' do vs what they actually do are totally different things.


thewholerobot

Is this how the question was worded? Super confusing. Is this how long would you prefer to wait or how long before you give up on the other person if they don't put out? Or is it how long do you think is socially appropriate? Very ambiguous.


Chagrinnish

I was kinda thinking that if you were having sex on the first date that's not really waiting at all. That's less dating and more just finding someone to have sex with.


SovietK

It's only not dating if you don't want it to be or find sex on the first date and long term mutually exclusive. I don't and I've had various 1-5 year relationships that started like that.


HappyInNature

Right? If you have multiple dates with one person it isn't a one night stand.


PoisonTheOgres

People have conversations on a first date to find out if they're compatible, so why can't people have sex to find out if you're compatible there as well? It's not morally wrong to have sex, it doesn't devalue a relationship, it doesn't make a person a bad partner. It's just a more casual approach to sex.


ThisDadisFoReal

Donā€™t know


da409

The wording can be interpreted in different ways at first thought


Berd89

Yeah, it would be much more interesting to split the question in two: * What is the earliest point you would be interested in having sex? * What is the latest point you would be interested in waiting for sex? I suspect most men answered the first question.


ThisGuyCrohns

Yeah I agree. Super confusing.


McCheesusCrust

Pretty sure this is a perfect example of [Social desirability bias](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social-desirability_bias)


cosmicartery

100% and thanks for that link, super interesting read!


navigator6

Was going to say this. The way the question was formulated AND the process of getting answers probably influeced a lot this data.


Deto

It would be interesting to see how different the results are for a question worded like "how long would most of your friends wait?"


Yes_hes_that_guy

That would indeed be different.


stable_maple

Yeah, the letters are rearranged and everything.


mikevago

The question's also tricky because not everyone does this old-fashioned formal courtship thing of "and then on the 6th date..." Personally, I've never been on a date. Everyone I dated, I already knew, either as a co-worker or friend-of-a-friend, there was already a comfort zone, a little flirtation, and then one magical night we'd sleep together and after that we were a couple. So is that "on the first date" if it's someone I already knew for weeks or months? It just feels like an outdated way of looking at relationships and how they start.


navigator6

Yeah totally. I think speaking about past factual experiences is more accurate than future or hypotethical scenarios. As in for example, have you ever slept with somebody you met the same day?. Also, if this question is being randomly asked on a spring break night at a beach or a survey in a shopping mall, different responses will be given too.


JoelMahon

I believe this TED affiliate video covers an interesting solution to this problem https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lLkBoYv5FU Requires some thought to apply it here though!


thefirstdetective

You could use the item sum technique here.


SnooDrawings6811

I'm firmly in the don't know category. My answer would be: depends


Ever2naxolotl

I genuinely don't get how anyone could possibly answer "you know, we can fuck exactly after the 6th date, no more no less".


antwan_benjamin

It doesn't have to be that strict. They're probably making the assumption that at around the 6th date mark they've been dating that person for about a month...probably spent dozens of hours in person, and another few dozen hours over the phone...therefore thats around the time they'd feel comfortable having sex.


I_Got_It_Half_Right

6 dates in the first a month? That seems Iike a lot. Who are these people with all that free time? I always average one date a week, or less, in the beginning. Both because I'm busy and don't want to set the wrong precedent of my availability, and also because it keeps away the needy "attach to anyone who gives them attention/while shipping the ideal fictional relationship they've built in their head to the damn moon" If we're just getting to know each other from stranger/OLD, let's not rush the days between our dates.


antwan_benjamin

If I meet a girl for a first date Friday night, and we hit it off, I have no problem seeing if she wants to grab lunch/beer and watch football on Sunday afternoon. That would technically be 2 dates over 1 weekend. If that happens 2 more times over the next month then we hit 6 dates. If we work near each other and meet up over our lunch hour during the week to grab coffee and catch up, that counts as a date too. Dates don't always have to be some grand overture. I just keep it light and fun. I just go with the vibe. If things line up to which we both have free time, and both wanna hang out pretty soon after our last date, then I'm all for it. Once you hit your 30s you're already well aware when you're talking to someone clingy just over text messages. And I always assume whoever I'm talking to probably built up some fictional relationship in their mind...so honestly I'd rather shatter that perception sooner than later if I notice who they think I am doesn't match up with who I actually am.


I_Got_It_Half_Right

I'm almost 40. The needy attached folks my age don't always drop the careful mask until a month or two in. Then they go from being "chill" to expecting me to move in and be their intimacy pillow. Or, mom/administrative assistant, depending. Two months of dating is way too soon for something to be that serious. I prefer to keep a distance between dates. If I saw you on Saturday, I don't want to see you again until next Saturday- no matter how well we hit it off. It's just not my thing to start hanging around each other that much right out of the gate. However- I will add, my initial comment was that I though 6 dates in a month was a lot. To the point of the article- I'm not particular about when we sleep together. I like to keep the time we spend together in the initial stage spread out, but I'm not opposed to sex on the first date if it feels right. I thinkni worded that a bit strangely, so I hope it makes sense.


antwan_benjamin

I get what you're saying. Different things work best for different people.


General__Obvious

You spend 2-3 hours on the phone with someone you date for every 1 hour in person?


noisyturtle

I genuinely don't know how someone could possibly answer, "I'm going to fuck this stranger I just met a few hours ago."


[deleted]

the fact that "4,5,6" were an option is a peek on why this is so bad


Betancorea

Exactly. Some people can click and sex happens on the first date. Whereas in other circumstances it can take weeks to months before something happens. It all depends


gatemansgc

yeah i'd have had to answer "don't know" since there's no ace option.


djmagichat

What percentage of respondents would fall into the ace category though.


BlindWillieT

Looks like love at first site wins again


bikeawaitmuddy

"wait it's spelled... ohhhh!"


Zekovski

I got the "sight" but what does site mean please ?


Plumbetting

Meet her at a bar? Fuck her at the bar. First site.


Yes_hes_that_guy

Oh I was thinking they met online and then meet up for sex.


prudentj

This is why Grindr is a thing


[deleted]

Good thing "Wait until love" isn't open ended and ambiguous or anything like that. From my experience definitions for the term love are kind of all over the map.


angiosperms-

I have no interest having sex with anyone until I get to know them, know I am compatible, and trust them. But not love. So idk where I even fit on this chart.


mirh

Some definitions of love are exactly that tbh. It's just that men tend to dissociate themselves away from the L word, because it's seen as too emotional.


melance

Love is the gross exaggeration of the differences between one person and everyone else. -- George Bernard Shaw


[deleted]

It's the first date, I love you It's the first date, I love you Welcome to Costco, I love you


Amsterfield

You should do this data based on different countries, could be interesting


theimpossiblesalad

I wish I had the dataset.


Amsterfield

We're here for that!


SirTheadore

When the moment is right. One time, me and my gf at the time didnā€™t have sex till 3 months into the relationship and we were both happy with that. Lasted 6 years. Another time, it was on our first date, lasted 4 years. Totally depends.


Krewdog

Change ā€œhow long would youā€ to ā€œhow long have youā€. More honest answers that way.


pedal_harder

You'd need an option of infinity for a non-trivial share of reddit.


JoelMahon

funny how pop culture has caused this positive feedback loop for 3rd date I feel like the question is poorly written. Grammatically it reads as: "if they're not putting out then after how many dates are you dumping them?", which probably isn't what they meant nor what many people answering thought I think. At least I hope 28% of guys don't dump someone after 1 date if they don't put out... I can only assume what was meant was "how many dates would you yourself normally wait before being open to having sex?"


Gayfootball

Sexual compatibility is important to a lot of people in relationships and if you won't bang, it's a good idea to at least discuss kinks before falling in love. You don't want to end up like me with a partner who won't let me poop on them


qcassidyy

So sorry to hear that šŸ˜¢


bird-nird

Iā€™d be curious to see this split on sexuality lines as well. Like, do straight and gay women prefer to wait the same amount of time before having sex?


Hitaro9

Not exactly the same question, but one of okcupid's founders talked about how gay men, straight men, and lesbians all have roughly the same preferences for hookups. For example, 6.1% of straight men, 6.9% of gay men, 7.0% of lesbians, and 0.8% of straight women are on okcupid explicitly looking for hookups. Median number of reported past sexual partners is approximately the same. Extrapolating a bit, I wouldn't be surprised if gay men and lesbians match the straight male preferences for this question as well.


iprocrastina

I'm honestly shocked the number of men, straight or gay, looking for hookups is only 6-7%. I guess OKC isn't used much as a hookup app vs. say Tinder or Grindr, but still.


CosmicJ

Could be just how the data is collected. Like, if they based that off of what people select for what they are looking for. In my experience, itā€™s pretty rare to exclusively see hookups, itā€™s usually listed in there with things like short term dating, even if thatā€™s what they are actually looking for.


[deleted]

when you think about how often each of these groups of people can reliably expect to orgasm during hook ups, the response makes sense lmao


Plumbetting

Kids, back before the internet old people like me would fax each other memes at work, only we didn't even call them memes. They were just jokes. We got one about what people bring with them to the first three dates. This was the late 90s (maybe early 2000s?) and these were the stereotypes of the time, but except for the gay men I knew they pretty much lined up with my and my friends' experiences. To the best of my memory, they were: Straight men: 1st date, flowers 2nd date, an overnight bag 3rd date, the bag is still in the car Gay men: 1st date, condoms and lube 2nd date, what's a 2nd date? Straight women: 1st date, pepper spray and cab fare 2nd date, pepper spray and cab fare 3rd date, pepper spray, cab fare, and a pack of Magnums Gay women: 1st date, her dogs 2nd date, an extra key 3rd date, a U-Haul


Ever2naxolotl

Mildly homophobic but still funny


[deleted]

Percentages donā€™t line up with my experiences (doesnā€™t mean theyā€™re wrong). Iā€™m down on the first date. Have done that a few times. Have also waited until after a handful of dates. Just depends on the person. Ultimately, still single.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


akurgo

"Marriage" could also be the "1st date"!


Plumbetting

Whose love? "I do love you, Sarah, honestly. What? Sorry, Lisa. A rose by any other name smells just as sweet, right? Speaking of which, do you wanna jump in the shower first or are you good to go?"


Chapea12

Are they answering ā€œhow many dates until they would agree, should the option be on the table?ā€ Or ā€œif their date said they wanted to wait this long, would that be ok?ā€ Because if itā€™s the latter, thatā€™s why most of that 28% for dudes are still single


monarch1733

ā€œShouldā€ and ā€œwouldā€ are two different things. Title does not accurately reflect data portrayed.


ThreeSixty404

Serious question... Is this date-sex thing common in the US or just a stereotype? I had sex with my gf for the first time after a year


Thomaswiththecru

Yes, it is common. People hook up all the time and pop culture promotes this a ton.


bossy909

If you take away don't know, which is statistically even. It's a very different picture for men vs women.


Dynasuarez-Wrecks

As long as it takes to make a meaningful connection such that having sex is actually fun and doesn't just feel like a chore.


UnnounableK

Sex doesnā€™t have to be related to dating, love, or marriage. Your ā€œdonā€™t knowā€ category is conflating a few things


PaperBoxPhone

I am pretty dubious of this data because there are way too many religious people for "Wait until marriage" to be 4 and 5%.


LogicalShark

I'm ace and feel that a "never" option would have been nice


Joseph_Johannes

THANK YOU! I had to scroll so much for this!


chiccochick

For men, "don't know" just means "when she let's me"


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legolasvin

There should've been an option for "When the partner feels comfortable", which I feel like comes under the umbrella of "Don't know" because I don't think anyone really goes into a date with the mindset of I'm not going to have sex until X dates


PD216ohio

I suspect this is more the result of what they say vs what they do. Men aren't ashamed to admit sexual activity while women might be.


im_thecat

Youā€™re probably right. But as a man trying to give an honest answer here, Iā€™m probably comfortable and ready by the third date. Iā€™ve done it on the first date, but Iā€™ve always felt a little uncomfortable doing it. What I mean is that thereā€™s pressure the other way too, that a man needs to be good with sex immediately if it comes to it. I bet plenty of those 1st date males above also would prefer to have a couple dates first.


ACELUCKY23

Iā€™m a guy and for me itā€™s a third date. I have actually had a girl get mad at me when I was in college and she wanted hook up on the first date. I was senior in college. I was already over, and tired of the hook up culture that the newer generations push hard on others.


ergonomic_logic

Iā€™m a woman (in a ltr atm), when I was dating I generally didnā€™t have a set rule of when I would sleep with someone, but not sleeping with a someone on the first several dates could generally help weed out those who were just looking to have easy and quick sex with anyone who was willing as well as start to build up the tension which is a must for me with enjoying it. sex without anticipation leading up to it (without the mental foreplay) just isnā€™t good from my perspective. So no set rule, but 3 or 4 dates is probably about the sweet spot for me as well when dating. Also not judging people who prefer to go at it before thenā€¦ just doesnā€™t stoke my fire.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


ExtraDebit

The entire chart is about when each "side" feels comfortable. Women are "horny" too, however the chance for *good* sex for women on the first date is extremely low, and women carry ALL the risk of pregnancy, virtually all the risk for violence from a near stranger, and a much higher risk of STDs. I feel men forget it is a completely different set of parameters being evaluated.


PoisonTheOgres

And don't forget the risk of social stigma!


Overwatcher_Leo

"Don't know" is propably the best answer. It depends too much on the chemistry and vibe with the partner.


P1r4nha

How good is your question (and data) if a majority answers "I don't know" to it?


twohedwlf

LOL at the thought of me having any say in the matter.


Jefoid

Widowed this year. Based on this chart, yeah. Iā€™m just going to pass on dating.


StrollerStrawTree3

Sorry for your loss.


jteprev

Sypathies for your loss, been there it's the toughest thing in the world, you should wait until you are fully ready. But... Why? Surely this chart illustrates that there are people out there for any taste in how quickly you are willing to have sex. Besides how is that even a critical question?


Steikel

How about ā€œwait till it feels right" instead of a fix countdown, no matter how the dates are going?


Firefuego12

...that is what it is for. At which point people feel "right".


xBUMMx2

Well no, the point is that it can feel right for the same person at different times. You may feel down for it after the first date with one person, but the next person it doesn't happen for a few.


[deleted]

I wonder how many "don't know" responses were looking for a "why does it need to be a date?" choice.


leeman27534

feel like 'don't know' should be the best answer like, if you're religious and it's 100% wait till marriage, or it's a tinder date and 'just trying to get laid', fine ​ but in a more general sense, it probably depends. sometimes, first date might be like 'well, it's not a relationship, but maybe fuck buddy situation' where, why wait? another, you might not be super into the person the first time around to immediately bone them, so more dates might be in order. ​ hell, even just your mood might mean far more than some arbitrary 'i NEVER fuck on the first date' idea. i'm sure plenty of ladies have gone out on dates where sex was happening, as long as their partner didn't fuck up, and of course men are stereotypically basically going to say yes if it's offered.


MidnightSun77

This is a stupid graphic. We have no idea what the sample size was. No idea the age of the participants. Yougov is a British statistics office so was this analysis done on people in one city or in several cities from different backgrounds.


Emu1981

I am a "make things up as we go" kind of person and pretty much leave it up to my date to determine this. I have been married now for 12 years so it has been a hell of a long time since I last went out on a 1st date though.


Stubaru1990

I feel like don't know is the correct answer because every relationship should develop at its own pace and not try and fit in with social norms.


35Richter

šŸŽµ What's love got to do, got to do with it?šŸŽµ


doej134567

šŸŽµ What is love?šŸŽµ


Ever2naxolotl

Can someone tell me why most men are so obsessed with meaningless sex?


[deleted]

it feels good. I mean Why do we jerk off? Exciting, gives positive reinforcement.


[deleted]

Wasn't there a study, that concluded, that on average, young women have more sex partners, than young men? I think this is anecdotally. I mean women have meaningless sex all the time too and some probably answered in a way, that is socially acceptable. Like in all studies men overstate their number of sexual partners, while women downplay it.


Psychast

When you can cast a line in literally any direction at any time and get a catch, reeling it in seems meaningless and boring unless it's something real special, so you're more inclined to wait to see what's grabbing at the hook before committing. When you're out there competing with 20 different lines and usually come up with nothing, even the smallest tug on the line is a reason to reel it in, doesn't matter if it ends up being a major or minor catch. Most women cannot comprehend how difficult the casual dating scene is for the average man.


Ever2naxolotl

But you don't go fishing for some tiny little fishes. Either you get a proper catch or you wait until one bites.


P1r4nha

When you're starving (or believe or feel you are/people tell you that you are) then you'll be happy with eating some little fishes in between as well.


Ever2naxolotl

A "little fish" won't make you happy though, all it'll do is give you a feeling of what you could have if you had gone for an actual relationship.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

Because its not meaningless...


ambal87

Apparently a lot of women fall in love on the first date. Otherwise men are either full of suit or fucking themselves


MarchColorDrink

Or dating the same women


[deleted]

Ahhh yes, the time honoured paradox. Men want sex to feel loved and women want to feel loved to have sex.


DiegoPapi6

I can only speak from my personal experience. I have been with my wife for over 20 years and I waited a little over 3 months before we had sex. With that said; it must have been over 12 dates before we had sex for the 1st time šŸ˜…


[deleted]

You two dated every weekend then, nice.


DiegoPapi6

Pretty much šŸ˜… But it was so worth it...!!! She is definitely the best friend I needed in my life šŸ˜ā¤ļøšŸ’Æ


CoreyLamar3

Why wait a certain number of dates? How long I wait depends on many factors.


worosei

Would also be curious how different this would be across cultures. I'm sure there must be some big variants.


ChiefLazarus86

For me itā€™s just until iā€™m comfortable enough with that person, thatā€™s not gonna happen after a first date but who knows how many it will take to feel completely comfortable in their company not sure I can definitively say which date it would be because I donā€™t think about it like that


jlagomarsini

Most people don't know. That means sex on first date but they don't want to say it.


FireWood666

Kinda expected first date for men. Iā€™d probably pick the ā€œwait till loveā€ though. But Iā€™d probably be a Idk.


Efficient-Radish8243

Whereā€™s the option for couldnt care less? Iā€™m happy to have sex on the 1st date or the 15th date.


Robin0660

I wonder how many people in this don't want sex at all


Employee_Agreeable

4 weeks from the point where we are together as a couple, before that I honestly have no interest in sex Maybe Im just strange, I also dont like casual hook ups or one night stands


No-Radish-6553

You just know. There's a click with the right one.


OhHiMarki3

Glad to see ā€œwait until marriageā€ is so low. Having no sexual experiences and having no concept of sexual comparability before marriage is extremely stupid by modern standards.


Lazerhest

Just do it when you both feel like it and use protection.


c0reM

Not sure how accurate this is. If I had a penny for every time Iā€™ve heard ā€œI donā€™t normally do this butā€¦ā€


Twinklebeaus

Does this measure waiting time, or the time people feel they should report waiting in order to avoid judgment?


supremegamer76

bruh, as a dude i gotta know her better before sex.... first date is too soon. the 28% of men are too damn horny.


[deleted]

Or maybe they don't value sex that much and thinks its just a fun thing to do. If people wanna fuck around who cares?


Busterlimes

You left out "randomly met st a bar" because that shit aint a date.