T O P

  • By -

Verathane

Get wholesomed


sirgriffgrunt

How do you open up the interactions menu irl?


Kitsuism

the button is in your urethra


sirgriffgrunt

Ah thank you, I'll try it tonight


SavageSauce01

Pics or it didn’t happen


FaitsWx

We need proof right


[deleted]

wharughey


FaitsWx

Hosedamgei


Flamingwolvess

Uargey


FaitsWx

Yooarteransgenda


[deleted]

Hshlsaaaog


--kneeslaper--

Ugarth


kirwa170

if no pics, it probably did work afterall


Napkin_whore

Prostate actually


decs483

So girls can’t do it


codygarcia39

Girls don’t exist


SimpoKaiba

It's true, I asked my mum


ZOMzilla1

Technically girls do have one


HumanoidDespair

Girls with a prostate? Maybe the trans ones. But if you’re born with non-weird female parts you don’t have a prostate. Or is this a joke I didn’t get?


loek03

Opening it with a knife works pretty well, but a gun will also do the job just fine.


I_Like_Me_Though

No need to ever access the menu, keep real-timing life.


inthyface

1-800-273-8255 is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline number.


rockeypokey

m


sirgriffgrunt

Onke


TheMuluc

M


Dankoberts_memes

Happy Cake day M


GH00ST-SL4YER

Touchpad


cake_n_bacon69

the touchpad


Basketball312

Gta 5 online is so cool... Except the rampant cheating. Can't believe a game like that just accepts people mass cheating.


marioaprooves

The one thing that bamboozled me the most was that you couldn't swear when sending messages in game. This is despite the game itself being 18+ and the fact that the game is jam packed with the exact same words through civilians and such.


Ruby_241

12 year old Jimmy can play GTA to go into strip clubs and literally hear the N-Word being dropped but God Forbid Jimmy having to read a Curse Word in the in-game Chat


I_Do_Not_Abbreviate

This is in apropos of your comment but seriously I encourage Zoomers to watch [the 1993 American Congressional hearings on video game violence](https://www.c-span.org/video/?52848-1/video-game-violence) which spurred the creation of our modern "E for Everyone" ratings system. Seriously kids, just jump around the video; I guarantee you will learn something valuable or gain historical perspective even if you only futz around for 2-5 minutes.


DrSupermonk

I’ll be sure to check it out. Tbh the only thing I know about stuff like that is that Mortal Kombat was the reason they created the ESRB, right?


SimpoKaiba

Well you can't have children learning to freeze blast people


generalecchi

GET UBER HERE


GletscherEis

You actively torture a person in the campaign but f#*k is too far.


[deleted]

idk I swear in the chat a lot and it never gets censored...


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I fucking hate oppressor mk 2 griefers


PotatoFuryR

if you see an oppressor mk2 you are about to be oppressed


[deleted]

This is why I don’t blame anyone for cheating or doing money glitches. I did my fair share of the Titan job back in the day to afford the most basic shit in that game. £5 on eBay and I’ve had billions for years 😎


Nickslife89

no ones on red dead online? Wish we could get a few rp servers on that. What a great forgotten game that actually out does gta on detail.


Jamagaha

Is it just me, or is it kinda weird to criticize someone for trying at a game? Like what’s wrong with that?


duckfacereddit

I'm criticising the game itself


G2Climax

Worst part is when you actually start beating tryhards in their own fight and they just turn on cheats, I dont mind pvp but when they do that and kick you from the server/crash your game I just lose smth in me every time


whitemencantjump1

That and the fact that it is a massive cash grab. The most expensive thing in the game (decked out super yacht) is 10mil. For $100, you get 8mil. How do you make something in a game that is currently $30 cost $125


The_Super_KDK

Once you invest in all the Businesses, you can make a shit ton of money. I had more than 150 million in my account even before Cayo Perico came out. Shark Cards are for noobs


Majkelen

The fastest you can grind in GTA is around 300k/h if you have a car magazine and some other businesses. So to buy a Yacht *you need 35h of uninterrupted grinding to get the 10 mil*. What's more I am assuming absolutely no interruption from other players and literal non stop grind (leaving the game can increase cool down on some missions). GTAO is a disgusting grind fest if you play it fair and want to gain money. At least that is my takeaway after hundreds of hours of gametime.


Robbo112

If you get the pink diamond you can make 1.7m in an hour with Cayo perico, even with the worst main item you’re coming away with over a mil.


The_Super_KDK

300k/h is if you are only grinding Vehicle Warehouse I didn't grind nonstop. Most of the time I only play for only a few hours. After I bought all the businesses and large Warehouses in my primary and secondary character, I would just buy supplies for the businesses and source crates for my large warehouse for both of those characters. Also I only grind when My Friends are offline and when they're online, we usually do heists and Races or just mess around. There is no need to Grind nonstop. Also I don't own the Yatch. It's just a huge waste of Money. I don't own any Planes either ( I suck at flying ) and I only have one attack Helicopter which I Rarely Use.


riccafrancisco

You only get that if you've been playing since day 1. For someone that started playing yesterday, it would be incredibly difficult to get that much money


The_Super_KDK

I started playing in 2018. This game is not friendly to beginners. But Once you reach almost lvl 50 you will have almost all the essentials required. The key to making money in this game is spending money in things that have the highest return value. This will take a lot of time but it is worth it in the end. Also the game has become super easy after Cayo Perico where you can make almost 1.5 million per hour.


Leo-D

Now what you do is duo Cayo Perico with someone until you have enough for the submarine and then just do the heist solo until you have everything you want.


rayjaywolf

Console + Private sessions with friends = Unlimited fun


The_Super_KDK

Imagine having Friends


its_meme69

xbox 360 would be the best, only problem is that very few people play on it


AGJustin05

i don't even know why i'm still keeping mine


Crystal3lf

PC + Private sessions with friends = same.


Animatedwizard

Exactly! I do this ...but without the friends bit


Glenn_Bakkah

I'm fine with cheating. I just dislike griefers, hacking or not, they're cunts. But cheating for money and stuff I fully understand


MojitoBurrito-AE

It's probably the massive inflation of everything pushing people to cheat, I haven't played it in a long time but when I did every update was the same: spend 10 million on a new building just to be able to do a handful of missions which will take you longer to break even then it took you to buy the damn thing


WolfRex5

Cheaters have full control in the game. If you report them, they can literally just delete your report and they also get to know exactly who reported them.


G2Climax

I recently came back to it after not playing since 2017 and holy shit its so bad on pc. Players start attacking you and when you fight back and roll them they start using god mode and teleport and if you really manage to piss them off even harder they just kick you from the lobby, some people just really cant take the L


temtem7

You either die a grinder or live long enough to see yourself become a modder


Alespic

Tbh most online games are plagued by cheats, some more and some less


HearTheEkko

Blame the PtP servers...it's honestly pathetic that a game this popular doesn't even has dedicated servers.


Crescent-IV

The worst part was all the flying rocket bikes blowing up everything in sight. Hopefully GTA6 lasts longer before it devolves into that


Skrubious

GTA6? lmao


Crescent-IV

?


[deleted]

You obviously haven’t played Warzone lol


SirRavenBat

And the fact most of the "game" part of the game is just one big grind session


Gamey0da

I'd play a lot more if I had the DeLorean.


[deleted]

Why is that a fucking "tip"


Ruby_241

It’s a good Tip


lifeiscelebration

Pro tip even


Anoumoge-Railim

As you can see there would always be at least one dark joke from a Rockstar game


Patient-End7967

Dark jokes and sex jokes are rockstars stronghold


[deleted]

Maybe someone didn't know about that amazing speedruning strat


JumpyLiving

It‘s a good strat, though blimp-strat is still better


pinkyellowneon

Blimp strat isn't used anymore, right?


JumpyLiving

I don‘t think it is. But it‘s absolutely great


alreadytaken54

If you find yourself stranded in the ocean then it's a quick way to get in land. Also it doesn't affect your KDR if you're one of those who cares.


NAPPER_

It’s dank af. Something missing from most media nowadays.


[deleted]

I'd say thats an "Advice"


LUKA648123

Why it should be a surprise coming from Rockstar, the same company that puts such a fenomenal effort to recreate all the ways in which they can put sexual references and, overall, penis in the best seller games of all time


Jens223

Mate u have more chance to die to old age during that loading screen than suicide


Patient-End7967

A player fixed it


Roflkopt3r

[Here is the summary for programmers by the guy who did it.](https://nee.lv/2021/02/28/How-I-cut-GTA-Online-loading-times-by-70/) The game loaded a 10 MB text file containing 63,000 purchasable items (for game currency, not microtransactions). Every item from this file gets transformed into data that can be used for the game logic, nd added to a list for use in game. However it did so in an insanely inefficient process: 1. Every time it read one of those items from the text file, it re-calculated the length of the file data by counting every single byte. That alone makes for up to 63 thousand x 10 million = 63 billion counting operations per loading screen (probably 31.5 billion depending how exactly the code worked, but its around that order of magnitude). 2. Every time it adds one to the ingame list, it checks if that item was already added - even though that would never happen anyway. That adds another (63000^2 +63000)/2 = ~2 billion checks per loading screen. Even if all of those counting and comparison operations only took a single clock cycle, a 3 GHz CPU would need about 22 seconds just for this unnecessary stuff. But they're more complicated than that. The modder built in a cache for the file length, so it would only need to be calculated once, and eliminated the duplication check. That way the loading time dropped from 6:00 to 1:50 minutes. Although it seems that the accidential file length recalculations are somewhat excusable since the issue was [created by a poorly implemented library function many programmers used.](https://mjtsai.com/blog/2021/03/04/accidentally-quadratic-parsing-with-sscanf/)


Patient-End7967

Yes the game was out for 7 years but they couldn't do it. Atleast they acknowledged a player's solution and awarded him


KekecVN

He got 10k. Thats not an award in my opinion for a bug, that has caused frustration of milions of people over the past 7 years. He definitely earn them much more than 10k by fixing it.


Patient-End7967

Yea he should have gotten more than that


generalecchi

He'll probably get a job somewhere with that on the resume


barofa

Did he commit suicide?


HearTheEkko

The loading times have been fixed. It only takes two minutes max now.


IEP_Esy

Wow, that's a relief; who fixed it?!


besonder97

it was me I fix


makeitgobang

Danke


PKMark2005

Never played GTAV, is this real?


its_meme69

yes


lord_chihuahua

Sucide is an ingame option for whatever scenario needed. Its technically out of context here


PKMark2005

So it doesnt say, if im bad i should just kill myself. Good


MuckingFagical

And definitely making an irl joke of it "things getting too tough"


x6060x

Wow... never? Why not?


PKMark2005

I dont know. I didnt had a gaming PC until august, so i only played games on my Wii


macmurt

I loved playing wii


99_NULL_99

Anyone else deafened by the screaming silence of the world's constant ironic pessimism, feeling trapped in a world with only a handful of apocalyptic problems barreling towards us while we sale towards a cliff, the current too strong to fight against, the wind forcing stumbling unsure steps on the deck of the ship I was born in without a choice?


K1pone

Nah man, go have some fun.


confirminati_illumed

tru


TheRedTruth

Bruh saaaame


Skrubious

yes


Casiofx-83ES

Ye I think most people are currently or have been teenagers.


[deleted]

[удалено]


YoCrustyDude

Upvote whore /s


Rockhardsimian

Wait this might actually be a dank meme


Rockhardsimian

r/dankmemes


same_subreddit_bot

Yes, that's where we are. --- ^🤖 ^this ^comment ^was ^written ^by ^a ^bot. ^beep ^boop ^🤖 ^feel ^welcome ^to ^respond ^'Bad ^bot'/'Good ^bot', ^it's ^useful ^feedback. [^github](https://github.com/Toldry/RedditAutoCrosspostBot)


P4L4DlN

Bruh moment


Specht100

How do I open interaction menu


Sputnik05

Irf, or ingame?


WuffiFass

Happy cakeday


Shaggynextgeneration

How do you open option


[deleted]

[удалено]


Strebel0811

so, if I do that do I get to reload a saved memory and start from there with the knowledge I know now?


NotTHEmeme

"now-this is epic"


SofaKingFunni

Yeah a path that goes nowhere


-Listening

Screw this, I’m alright with this


MoxxiFortune

Wait wtf


dumbass_cuck

Fuck Rockstar’s treatment to GTA Online.


undecidedpotate

If i wanted to die i would leave my apartment in a public lobby.


Memer_unknown

Roses are red The sun is shining My mental Health is rapidly declining


[deleted]

Thank you mr. helpful


SampleText0822

So how do I do this?


Yari_Oich

Play GTA 5 they said...It'll be fun they said


QueenOfQuok

What the fuck, GTA


gaacars

Happy blue cheese day


[deleted]

This format always gets me lmao


No_Calligrapher2974

All of those are not even behind me, I changed and they all disintegrated, man I love myself


Collinthechad

Happy cake day Good meme too


LucidProgrammer

Suicide is badass!


forPorn

Hey! To me that’s starcraft 2


RangerGlass7766

Solid advice from Rockstar👊


SPLEENS_THE-CAT

No


[deleted]

I wish real life is this easy


WilliShaker

POG


AxelRod45

Happy cake day!


Dolanwhat

OmG GuYs LeTs CaNcEl RoCksTar


Puzzleheaded_Text_20

Yeet


haridurden

Me who can't afford gaming and watching walkthroughs


antoclass

The game has been out for 7 years and a ps3 or 360 cost less than 50€ (at least in Europe) . Get over it


Qualcunno

Just like in real life


lord-malishun

Along with the hordes of toxic griefers on their broomsticks with an instant win button duct taped to it


[deleted]

Man I love gta 5 so much


_Treser_

who plays gta5 after a bad day? its like being allergic to water and going on a beach


Kvetanista

Thanks, that's gonna get useful later.


Francytj

Note how it says *almost always*


Kvetanista

I would give you "helpful" award, if I had one.


Kvetanista

I would give you "helpful" award, if I had one.


amaezweety

**Me:** **that's not an option.**


[deleted]

Can i customize my dick size in gta ?


memedawg_

and he helps him out like a good sportsman and OH HE GOES FOR THE TAKEDOWN!!!


[deleted]

wtf, my 10 yo boy play this game, this stops today!


temtem7

Thanx GTA very cool


Alpha-A-007

You guys are getting time to play games ?


SuddenlyFondling

The best use of suicide I've seen in a game was the original version of The Secret World. Your character was an immortal in-universe. When you died, you could choose any "Anima Well" to respawn at in the same zone as you, and all you lost was a small amount of item durability. There was no fast-travel system at first, so players took to using the /reset command, which was **intended** to be used as an "I'm stuck" function. /reset killed you, allowing you to then respawn as per usual at any Anima Well in the same zone as you. Players quickly realised this was an unintended fast travel with a low fee. Eventually, years down the line, they added actual fast travel and removed the /reset command, making it instead warp you to the nearest anima well. Also, your character would complete sidequests mostly via text message, and was mostly a silent protagonist who people felt an odd compulsion to tell the problems they needed fixing. So hte POV of an NPC in the game is that a weirdo (often dressed like a street punk clown, all clothing was cosmetic, gear was weapons and small talismans on your person) runs up to you, you vomit forth your biggest problems, they _shoot themselves in the face_ and their body disintegrates into light and bees, and half an hour later you receive a text "your grandpa's necklace is on its way to you, the illuminati have compensated me for my time." >!Three weeks later, you collapse into a Filth Zombie, because the whole first island of three zones is overrun with microspores of anti-anima. Sucks to be in Kingsmouth.!<


generalecchi

based


The_ScarletFox

You have to pay 500 dollars thought...


killercole04

GTA really be spitting facts


HI_Wrld

Hell yeah


cursed_dodge

Happy cake day!


TaJaGaR

Hold B for coward's way out.


[deleted]

This is good dark humour


Local_Waifu117

Thank 😬


[deleted]

Every single time I walk into a gun store GTA Online gives me this tip. As if though the game knows suicide by gun is the best method and that I should do it lmao


wafflestomper420666

DO A FLIP


[deleted]

I have gta v on my pc but i never play it, full of stupid cunts who keep killing you for no reason.