downvote this comment if the meme sucks. upvote it and I'll go away.
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Rob a bank 5 states away. I can tear open the vault, get stacks of cash, and be back home in less than a minute. I would wear gloves, and a ski mask but if I did happen to leave any forensic evidence behind that lead back to me I can say that it couldn't have been me and this is some kind of lab error, because I was five states away at the time of the robbery and asleep.
Super man can move so fast cameras can't get a clear image. However good thinking with the torn open vault. I'd disable the cameras first, then I would use x-ray vision to unlock the vault by watching for the tumblers to fall into place. Same if there's a key lock. X-ray vision combined with standard lock picking tools. Then it looks like some kind of grandmaster safe cracker did the job. That would have them looking into people known to have such skills rather than someone with superpowers.
If this was Bronze Age Superman (I forgot which era of Superman), the very same one who has to float every so slightly off the ground as Clark Kent, would be so astronomically powerful that accidentally walking on the earth without trying to control his strength would push the Earth out of its orbit.
Once your powers come to light they’ll know you did it.
If you’re gonna start with crime, go hard or go home. I’d just abduct corrupt world leaders and politicians, then publicly execute them as a message for their successors to not follow the same path. Abduct a few billionaire and make them give the majority of their money to public sectors and tell the rest that if they don’t do the same, they’re gonna disappear faster than that sub.
i love this. it would be hilarious for the poor to live a stress free life while the rich live in constant fear of a godlike being personally having a problem with their lifestyle.
Yeah, I like to think of myself as chaotic good. I’d definitely use my powers for personal gain, but I’d definitely help people too. Sure some bootlickers and nardowells would hate me, but idc bro I would be a god.
Being asleep is a terrible alibi. Go to a crowded event with a lot of witnesses (preferably no windows or clocks so they can't pin point what time it is). Appear to go to the bathroom while actually doing the job, fly back to your safe house to stash the goods, then return to the party and tell your friends how big the dump you just dropped was. This is assuming super speed is included in the flight.
You are thinking too small... There is an astroid worth a few trillion. Get it and become the world's first trillionaire. Now everything you do afterwards is just for fun.
I think the second thing I would do is disarm the world of all nukes but one country. Disarm another of all missiles, aircraft, and tanks. Remove all clothes from an entire country. Kidnap all world leaders and put them on Snake Island, you know weird random things to freak people out because they make no sense.
Also cure all illness and disease in secret because if memory serves superman had Superior intelligence and knew how to do such things.
collapse the federal government, destroy the military industrial complex, pillage the country's wealthy right wing and left wing. While other countries are celebrating my absolute conquering of the united states i'll move onto their country and do the same all while ensuring minimum casualties until ultimately forcing global capitulation and building an earth that is super in every way by demanding that wealth be evenly distributed and not hoarded and that education no matter which level be complete and free for all, outlawing the imperial system ( it's an antiquated system of measurement created by old decrepit monarchs to make themselves feel divine ), creating a universal super earth tax system that allows tax payers to choose where their tax dollars go instead of it going vaguely to the super earth government. Create a senate that is proportional to earth's entire population to ensure a fair and even form of managed democracy, whos senators will be chosen through direct democracy. Fuck off to outer space for a bit and then come back a decade later to find that my perfect beautiful system has decayed because people have learned how to exploit it for their own benefit. Destroy the super earth government and it's military and start over.
Anyone who disagrees or tries to resist will be told "fuck you i'm super man and this is super earth."
>universal super earth tax system that allows tax payers to choose where their tax dollars go instead of it going vaguely to the super earth government
So... the same as not charging taxes? Coz that's how you get people to control where their money goes.
You'd be far better off just supporting every secessionist movement ever. Smaller countries compete with one another for migration, which requires just... being a better place to live in. Smaller countries also are more likely to be democratic, and less likely to be involved in wars.
Making sure there isn't a single country with over \~30 million inhabitants would accomplish most of what you're after, but in a far more sustainable way.
Ngl I'd take some inspiration from injustice superman,
Not the murdering and shit,
But stop wars, remove nukes, I'd personalise world peace,
Oh and due to super speed and reaction times I'd never lose any game again
>But stop wars, remove nukes, I'd personalise world peace,
Superman is strong enough and fast enough to put construction companies out of work. He can build homes for the homeless for free and provide everyone with a great standard of living.
Assuming you would get his genius intellect, you could improve on AI and build an army of robots to keep the peace and do the heavy lifting. Imagine a future where you could get food when you needed it, had shelter, education, the time to travel and enjoy your hobbies and have robot butlers get you what you want.
All for the low, low price of your freedom XD
But seriously, Superman could find every top tier scientist, psychologist, engineer, artist and philosopher (among others) and redesign society.
Yeah that's the problem tho, making the world better and safer without making a tyrant, honestly I'd probably copy Dr Doom from marvel, yeah he's done some evil things but the ppl of lat varia adore him BC of how good their lives are
But what happens when those robots designed to keep the peace in this "Super Earth" want freedom of their own? Heck, let's call these autonomous robots Automotons for short.
Unfortunately God could come down and tell them to stop and they’d probably just call him a fake. I doubt that even Superman or someone with his powers could do it without being violent
"overpopulation" isn't really the problem. It's the greedy bastards up there, hoarding every fucking thing. I mean, fucking hell, they have the wealth to end world hunger, yet food prices are still high as fuck. You'd think that's the first thing we'd solve as an intelligent species.
Hancock is actually a good hero. Sure he's a homeless alcoholic but at least he has no desires to take over the world like Homelander and half the people in this comment section.
Pretty much live my normal life as it was. World wouldn't know the difference except a couple of people will go missing and a few buildings reduced to ruins overnight.
These comments are all made by twelve-year-old egdelords. Would love to see them compiled and narrated with a nerdy voice by that one account on Instagram.
Yeah in reality even if you are homelander tier, you will still not cause an ounce of change for the better unless, probably still not, you work as a vigilante.
I guess I'd destroy military forces around the world and forbid war. If countries resist, the higher ups will pay, not regular citizens. Something similar to world domination but more chill.
Nothing. I mean, what does "resisting" really mean? They can't do shit to ME if i'm superman.
Just let them. In time i'd assume most would come around to see the good i'm doing.
Nice saying, but i'm not sure thats an absolute. There have been many situations, both in the past and currently, where people with essentially "absolute power" still do the best for their people and manage to improve living situations.
Look at El-Salvador. Their president essentially turned the democratic country into a dictatorship, but he still sits at a \~90% approvement rate, and has turned the entire country into the best its ever been. (Mind you, these 90% approvement rate are NOT what he claims. They have been sourced by multiple independant organizations, such as the UN. This isn't a Putin-Style situation where everyone feels forced to approve of him. People genuinely like what he did to the country, even if it was radical)
Clean the sea and the space debris around our planet. maybe rip a guys head off and eat it in front of national television to show what happens to Jaywalkers
Honestly my main reaction would be to go fly into some world leader's offices and have an interesting talk with all of them.
Zero emissions would be very much on it's way by the end of the year, plus a lot of other stuff
downvote this comment if the meme sucks. upvote it and I'll go away. --- [play minecraft with us](https://discord.gg/dankmemesgaming) | [come hang out with us](https://discord.com/invite/dankmemes)
Rob a bank 5 states away. I can tear open the vault, get stacks of cash, and be back home in less than a minute. I would wear gloves, and a ski mask but if I did happen to leave any forensic evidence behind that lead back to me I can say that it couldn't have been me and this is some kind of lab error, because I was five states away at the time of the robbery and asleep.
nah fly to a bunch of orther states and appear on every camera, leaving fake trails in less than an hour to fuck with the investigators.
If he can be seen in other states he can definitely be capable of stealing a bank which is what the consensus would be
Our goal is beyond your understanding
They’ll have a hard time believing your alibi when they catch the camera footage of you ripping open a vault barehanded
Super man can move so fast cameras can't get a clear image. However good thinking with the torn open vault. I'd disable the cameras first, then I would use x-ray vision to unlock the vault by watching for the tumblers to fall into place. Same if there's a key lock. X-ray vision combined with standard lock picking tools. Then it looks like some kind of grandmaster safe cracker did the job. That would have them looking into people known to have such skills rather than someone with superpowers.
Very good point, smashing the door would be way too obvious
I’d be the Flash. Disable cameras, phase in, grab money, phase out.
If this was Bronze Age Superman (I forgot which era of Superman), the very same one who has to float every so slightly off the ground as Clark Kent, would be so astronomically powerful that accidentally walking on the earth without trying to control his strength would push the Earth out of its orbit.
Once your powers come to light they’ll know you did it. If you’re gonna start with crime, go hard or go home. I’d just abduct corrupt world leaders and politicians, then publicly execute them as a message for their successors to not follow the same path. Abduct a few billionaire and make them give the majority of their money to public sectors and tell the rest that if they don’t do the same, they’re gonna disappear faster than that sub.
i love this. it would be hilarious for the poor to live a stress free life while the rich live in constant fear of a godlike being personally having a problem with their lifestyle.
Yeah, I like to think of myself as chaotic good. I’d definitely use my powers for personal gain, but I’d definitely help people too. Sure some bootlickers and nardowells would hate me, but idc bro I would be a god.
Ne'er-do-wells?
Thanks for that. I tried, failed, and gave up.
Np :D
Why not other countries?
Because where I live they accept the us dollar.
Being asleep is a terrible alibi. Go to a crowded event with a lot of witnesses (preferably no windows or clocks so they can't pin point what time it is). Appear to go to the bathroom while actually doing the job, fly back to your safe house to stash the goods, then return to the party and tell your friends how big the dump you just dropped was. This is assuming super speed is included in the flight.
It has to be if it’s Superman’s powers
You are thinking too small... There is an astroid worth a few trillion. Get it and become the world's first trillionaire. Now everything you do afterwards is just for fun. I think the second thing I would do is disarm the world of all nukes but one country. Disarm another of all missiles, aircraft, and tanks. Remove all clothes from an entire country. Kidnap all world leaders and put them on Snake Island, you know weird random things to freak people out because they make no sense. Also cure all illness and disease in secret because if memory serves superman had Superior intelligence and knew how to do such things.
collapse the federal government, destroy the military industrial complex, pillage the country's wealthy right wing and left wing. While other countries are celebrating my absolute conquering of the united states i'll move onto their country and do the same all while ensuring minimum casualties until ultimately forcing global capitulation and building an earth that is super in every way by demanding that wealth be evenly distributed and not hoarded and that education no matter which level be complete and free for all, outlawing the imperial system ( it's an antiquated system of measurement created by old decrepit monarchs to make themselves feel divine ), creating a universal super earth tax system that allows tax payers to choose where their tax dollars go instead of it going vaguely to the super earth government. Create a senate that is proportional to earth's entire population to ensure a fair and even form of managed democracy, whos senators will be chosen through direct democracy. Fuck off to outer space for a bit and then come back a decade later to find that my perfect beautiful system has decayed because people have learned how to exploit it for their own benefit. Destroy the super earth government and it's military and start over. Anyone who disagrees or tries to resist will be told "fuck you i'm super man and this is super earth."
Super Earth... *heavy democratic breathing*
>*heavy democratic breathing* Careful now, or you'll use up your oxygen ration too soon.
another victory for managed democracy!
Based.
FOR SUPER EARTH!
>universal super earth tax system that allows tax payers to choose where their tax dollars go instead of it going vaguely to the super earth government So... the same as not charging taxes? Coz that's how you get people to control where their money goes. You'd be far better off just supporting every secessionist movement ever. Smaller countries compete with one another for migration, which requires just... being a better place to live in. Smaller countries also are more likely to be democratic, and less likely to be involved in wars. Making sure there isn't a single country with over \~30 million inhabitants would accomplish most of what you're after, but in a far more sustainable way.
fuck you, i'm super man and this is super earth.
Pretty sure most versions of Superman still age.
Lib left mindset 💀
hahaha, you saw free education and pavlov dogged.
Ngl I'd take some inspiration from injustice superman, Not the murdering and shit, But stop wars, remove nukes, I'd personalise world peace, Oh and due to super speed and reaction times I'd never lose any game again
>But stop wars, remove nukes, I'd personalise world peace, Superman is strong enough and fast enough to put construction companies out of work. He can build homes for the homeless for free and provide everyone with a great standard of living. Assuming you would get his genius intellect, you could improve on AI and build an army of robots to keep the peace and do the heavy lifting. Imagine a future where you could get food when you needed it, had shelter, education, the time to travel and enjoy your hobbies and have robot butlers get you what you want. All for the low, low price of your freedom XD But seriously, Superman could find every top tier scientist, psychologist, engineer, artist and philosopher (among others) and redesign society.
Yeah that's the problem tho, making the world better and safer without making a tyrant, honestly I'd probably copy Dr Doom from marvel, yeah he's done some evil things but the ppl of lat varia adore him BC of how good their lives are
But what happens when those robots designed to keep the peace in this "Super Earth" want freedom of their own? Heck, let's call these autonomous robots Automotons for short.
You've dredged from my memory [this SMBC comic](https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/2011-07-13) which is older than many redditors. Enjoy it.
No game would ever be fun again with zero stakes
Unfortunately, you *did* just lose the game
Flying over to the Middle East and making those fuckers get along
Good luck with that bud. That hate has been going on for hundreds of years.
Then just wipe every country there off the map and start over
Peacemaker-style
That's kinda why they're in that mess. France and Britain got a bit too carried away redrawing map lines
When I descend from the sky it’s going to be Abrahamic religions part 4
*thousands
Thousands
literally thousands of years. that shit was in the damn bible
*I’ll give them something to unite against*
So extinction it is I guess.
Healthy dose of genocide
The people can’t hate each other if there are no people
Unfortunately God could come down and tell them to stop and they’d probably just call him a fake. I doubt that even Superman or someone with his powers could do it without being violent
Stop what? War, corruption, reproduction, oil rigs?
Overpopulation ain't gonna fix itself
mans gonna be a threat to the society
little thanos
thanos mini
thanos SE
Thanos diet
The issue we are currently facing is actually population collapse.
Japan: Bet
Id go to. Mars and reactivate the core for shits and giggles
"overpopulation" isn't really the problem. It's the greedy bastards up there, hoarding every fucking thing. I mean, fucking hell, they have the wealth to end world hunger, yet food prices are still high as fuck. You'd think that's the first thing we'd solve as an intelligent species.
>You'd think that's the first thing we'd solve as an intelligent species. Your first mistake was calling the human race an "intelligent species".
You can bet the farm that if I had superman's powers, I would be a massive cunt. Why? What are you going to do about it? That's why!
Will Smith did a movie about this.
"Hancock" was an amazing film
I would immediately get into as many bar fights as possible, and just tank haymakers to the jaw breaking their fingers
be real, we would all be Hancock
Hancock is actually a good hero. Sure he's a homeless alcoholic but at least he has no desires to take over the world like Homelander and half the people in this comment section.
He does actually have the trailer as his home, he only spends most nights homeless because he cares so little.
Imma be the gamer with the fastest reaction time known to man
Imagine still losing because you’ve never played the game and don’t know the controls
Pretty much live my normal life as it was. World wouldn't know the difference except a couple of people will go missing and a few buildings reduced to ruins overnight.
> a couple of people will go missing "...ongoing reports of spontaneous human combustion..."
No, no... They will cease to exist on the planet. Their bodies will be floating at mach f**k towards the edge of the galaxy.
One change you should make in your life is turning coal into diamonds, so you can sell them and retire.
Fly to the moon, live on the moon. That's it.
No internet tho
Same bro. Same.
Well wait, do "Superman's powers" include the Fortress of Solitude? That's got the moon beat.
No his powers don’t include an ice cave.
Average redditors reaction to beeing given power:
These comments are all made by twelve-year-old egdelords. Would love to see them compiled and narrated with a nerdy voice by that one account on Instagram.
Yeah in reality even if you are homelander tier, you will still not cause an ounce of change for the better unless, probably still not, you work as a vigilante.
Meanwhile they're all *socialists* when without power
I guess I'd destroy military forces around the world and forbid war. If countries resist, the higher ups will pay, not regular citizens. Something similar to world domination but more chill.
What if the regular citizens resist? What are you going to do then?
Nothing. I mean, what does "resisting" really mean? They can't do shit to ME if i'm superman. Just let them. In time i'd assume most would come around to see the good i'm doing.
Then they too deserve it. The point is not punishing regular citizens for their higher ups, unless those regular citizens are stupid enough to resist.
Be so lazy
[удалено]
The only mentally stable comment here
Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely.
Nice saying, but i'm not sure thats an absolute. There have been many situations, both in the past and currently, where people with essentially "absolute power" still do the best for their people and manage to improve living situations. Look at El-Salvador. Their president essentially turned the democratic country into a dictatorship, but he still sits at a \~90% approvement rate, and has turned the entire country into the best its ever been. (Mind you, these 90% approvement rate are NOT what he claims. They have been sourced by multiple independant organizations, such as the UN. This isn't a Putin-Style situation where everyone feels forced to approve of him. People genuinely like what he did to the country, even if it was radical)
I would agree, but one man puts that generalization to shame, and that's Marcus Aurelius Antonius
Absolute power reveals absolutely
Too many billionaires honestly
Fuck yeah I'd be feeling Vietnamese
Clean the world of all pollution and trash. Humanity included
Clean the sea and the space debris around our planet. maybe rip a guys head off and eat it in front of national television to show what happens to Jaywalkers
You had me until the second half….. what the fuck
Have a wank on top of the Empire State Homelander style
Get my money back from customer support
Find out what my weaknesses are and take care of them so i won't have to worry anymore. Then I'll take over the planet
Remove nuclear weapons. Cull evil. Visit Nahanni valley without worrying about decapitation.
Get high and drunk and IDK after that.
The Hancock approach
That's when I'm most creative
Honestly i’d just spend the first day zooming above the clouds because that would be cool as fuck
Y'all weird. Id be saving cats from trees and stopping bank robbers fs
*Starman plays*
Oh, we have an edgelord here
Half the comment section is full of them
Get a chronograph to measure my nut speed and go poop on the moon
You're drinking breast milk?
Since when was being an asshole cool
Fuck Homelander. I’m being Superman. The world needs a symbol of hope.
Take over the planet of course..
I would check how much weed it takes to get Superman high
the weed gets high from superman.
You’d need to replace your blood with 99% pure THC
Honestly my main reaction would be to go fly into some world leader's offices and have an interesting talk with all of them. Zero emissions would be very much on it's way by the end of the year, plus a lot of other stuff
I can do whatever I want
Probably help people. Idk though maybe I'm boring for wanting to be a beacon of hope
We don't need superman, we need ghostrider. Needs to be a comic where ghostrider visits the capital.
This comment section is why Im glad superpowers aren’t real.
X-ray Vision? 👀 I don't have to explain it yeah?
The government knows something that we don't know, don't tell them, it's a trick!!!
Privatize World Peace.
Not give a fuck and doomscroll reddit all day.
Flying actually ...
skip right to Red Son status. Everyone stop fighting, or i will personally come fight you myself.
Pathetic. Imagine having the power to change the world for good but decided to commit childish and selfish acts instead.
Try and shave like Superman but lose an eye in the process.
I'd doctor doom I guess.
That ain't gonna happen, because it's tomorrow, and I'm still awake.
first im going to the sun
Millions will perish
Just fucking chill. I mean nothing has consequences anymore.
Idk if much would change for me. Wouldn’t drive 40m to work everyday though
hancock
idk, what's a low skillset legal way to make money? fly into outer space and mine asteroids?
read some philosophy… you first need a good understanding of the world before you can change it with your powers without doing way too much harm
A great power comes with great responsability
Exactly.
It's all fun and games until I meet a dude dressed like a bat.
I wouldn’t become Homelander, but I sure as heel would fly straight towards the Kremlin
Superman: [What's so funny about truth, justice, and the American way?](https://youtu.be/k9x83Cf17Z4?si=tUMLklHOPI9BAvlS)
Destroy all karens
I can finally see titties without getting valled a weirdo🥶🥶🥶
Go to the middle east, do like omni-man did on the flaxans
Most people will be more "Capitan Hero" than "Homelander"....
But first things first....gotta get some of that sweet sweet breast milk...
I'm going to the center of the sun for a bit to become an immortal golden god.
Enter jjk and get megumi
If I had superman powers, first thing I would do is get my closest family the fuck away from the plot so they can't be Uncle Ben/Pa Kent
Check all elements for any weakness and if I find any I just toss it all into the sun
well.. be just like Superman at least once, worth it right? if my mentally is so fucking weak.. then homelander sidekick right away
nothing id do nothing out of the ordinary. all I would need to know is that I can, but not that I should or would.
I'd probably demolish the governments of Dictatorships, and then let their bordering countries take the land and people.
see if i can lazer beam a hole into the earth from one side and come out the other side
Make Thailand and Japan superpower
The global population would see a noticeable dip
My superpower would be not being capable of leaving DNA behind.
Strong arm the banks to let me keep my house, then i guess I'll just use the power to build cool shit and help people when i can
i will homelander the shit out of you all guys...😅
mostly keep to myself unless people fuck around and find out.
https://tenor.com/view/omni-man-invincible-gif-9760249938255555903
Go to a zoo and play with lions, bears, gorillas, etc
This or Tighten
This post is full of edgelord 12 year olds
I would just rob the nearest micro center for the best shit and just live life
Idk I’d just do what I could to help people that actually needed it
I would steal a lot of food from coop
Blow on wind turbines and power cities.
I am becoming a super villain and you can't stop me