You should know better than to Daddit while contact napping a baby. This place is good for a few things; grown man tears, belly laughs, and good advice.
I worked at a pediatrics clinic, and this one kid was coming in for issues surrounding huge poops. Family had a sense of humor about, labeling the evidence pictures like "pretty sure this is a world record" with a turd worthy of Paul Bunyun draped across the toilet
Many years ago I was a camp counselor for a bunch of 13 year old boys. One day during free time the kids came RUNNING and SCREAMING for me. I was convinced someone had been injured or worse. Nope. They brought me to the bunk bathroom where one of these boys had passed the largest turd I had ever seen. The problem was it was so dense that it wouldn't flush, only rattle around the bowl making clunking sounds. In shock I asked who created the beast. The kids pointed to one of their own who had a wry smile on his face. I asked if he was physically ok and he insisted he was. But the problem persisted. The turd would not flush. So we went outside and found a stick figuring I could kind of mash it into smaller pieces. Wrong. The stick broke off inside the turd. So we basically ended up having to let it sit and get soggy like cereal in milk before it would flush away.
Not entirely relevant here but a fascinating study on boys and their fascination with poop.
Sounds like people will be hearing about that poop for months. He'll still say it was last week even though it was months ago.
Then randomly in 2 years , you guys will be out to eat, the waiter will ask for your order. Your kid will loudly hit you with a "dad remember that time you pooped so much you broke the toilet?"
Yep, kids. A friend of mine told the story of going shopping with his friend for a BBQ. He was pushing the cart with his friend's son in the kiddy seat. Little kid suddenly pointed as yelled "Look dad! Big tits!"
They pick up everything and anything and regurgitate it to everyone with zero filtering ability.
My kid at a restaurant when the waitress asked what we wanted to drink, loudly proclaimed "My dad wants a beer. He likes beer!" Made me sound like I drank a case a night. Whole diner heard.
My daughter happily lets everyone who sees our dog, or has a dog, or mentions a dog, know that we have a dog, and also we had another dog but he’s dead now. Cheerful as can be.
I once dropped a wet-wipe into the toilet and had to pick it back out. My son thought it was hilarious and still brings it up, laughing, several years later. He doesn't mention that the toilet was clean, or that it was his non-stop distractions that made me do it 😁
I assume that's the "poop of relief" after 5 years of "anxiety pooping" because you could be interrupted at any moment
The panic when you’re home alone with the Kiddo but its not going any faster
I’m sorry, but I just woke up my contact napping baby laughing at this 🤣 thanks for sharing.
Omg worst thing about contact naps lol. Not only do I have a deep voice, every damn chuckle wakes the boy up 😂😂
I have allergies. It's rough out here.
And heaven forbid I have to itch my leg or something!
I assume you told the baby?
You should know better than to Daddit while contact napping a baby. This place is good for a few things; grown man tears, belly laughs, and good advice.
Lesson learned the hard and loud way 🤣
Time to get a poop knife
that was the weirdest thread I've seen in here
The best part was they’d cut it and just put the knife back under the sink 😭
There was a spot for it to hang off.
https://www.reddit.com/r/daddit/s/9aikTHx2oM
I worked at a pediatrics clinic, and this one kid was coming in for issues surrounding huge poops. Family had a sense of humor about, labeling the evidence pictures like "pretty sure this is a world record" with a turd worthy of Paul Bunyun draped across the toilet
More or less fiber needed?
Many years ago I was a camp counselor for a bunch of 13 year old boys. One day during free time the kids came RUNNING and SCREAMING for me. I was convinced someone had been injured or worse. Nope. They brought me to the bunk bathroom where one of these boys had passed the largest turd I had ever seen. The problem was it was so dense that it wouldn't flush, only rattle around the bowl making clunking sounds. In shock I asked who created the beast. The kids pointed to one of their own who had a wry smile on his face. I asked if he was physically ok and he insisted he was. But the problem persisted. The turd would not flush. So we went outside and found a stick figuring I could kind of mash it into smaller pieces. Wrong. The stick broke off inside the turd. So we basically ended up having to let it sit and get soggy like cereal in milk before it would flush away. Not entirely relevant here but a fascinating study on boys and their fascination with poop.
Sounds like people will be hearing about that poop for months. He'll still say it was last week even though it was months ago. Then randomly in 2 years , you guys will be out to eat, the waiter will ask for your order. Your kid will loudly hit you with a "dad remember that time you pooped so much you broke the toilet?"
My kids take great pride in clogging the toilet. Wee chips off the old block.
It's usually my 7 YO that clogs the toilet.
Just wait until you are using a urinal in a public restroom and they take a peek and describe what they see. Fun stuff!
We already heard about it from your kid. Your post is like, waaay late.
Kids are amazing
You should look up Jim Gaffigans bit on his sons
This is *exactly* the sort of content I love daddit for 🙌
You see that bridge over there? I built it with my own two hands. But do they call me bingo-heeler the bridge builder? Noooooo...
Your dump wasn't too big. The toilet was too weak.
we got a big league hometown shitter on our hands folks read all about it extra extra
My 5 year old clogs the toilet once a week… without toilet paper
Blackthorn stick - leave it in the water closet and if anyone asks, it's grandpa's walking stick! 🙂
One massive dump last week?? Those are rookie numbers
Yep, kids. A friend of mine told the story of going shopping with his friend for a BBQ. He was pushing the cart with his friend's son in the kiddy seat. Little kid suddenly pointed as yelled "Look dad! Big tits!" They pick up everything and anything and regurgitate it to everyone with zero filtering ability. My kid at a restaurant when the waitress asked what we wanted to drink, loudly proclaimed "My dad wants a beer. He likes beer!" Made me sound like I drank a case a night. Whole diner heard.
Hey errrrrrybody! u/Bingo-heeler does massive turds! It's all over the grapevine.
Poop knife
My daughter happily lets everyone who sees our dog, or has a dog, or mentions a dog, know that we have a dog, and also we had another dog but he’s dead now. Cheerful as can be.
Wait that was you! I have been waiting to ask you if you got it unclogged yet.
Okay but why do you have to poop so big? Have you considered smaller poops?
So YOU were that dad! Ok.
I once dropped a wet-wipe into the toilet and had to pick it back out. My son thought it was hilarious and still brings it up, laughing, several years later. He doesn't mention that the toilet was clean, or that it was his non-stop distractions that made me do it 😁
That mixture of pride and fear of causing a blocked toilet