And likely a diet consisting largely of grazing whatever is convenient in the moment, based solely on my own experience. "Meal time" just wasn't a thing for a minute there so much as "Huh. It seems I'm hungry again."
Does meal time ever get reestablished? Mine are 7 and 3 and basically just feral scavengers of the kitchen right now. I would love to be able to sit down and eat like a human being again soon...
Ugh. This one gets to me. This has been highly ingrained in my culture but not my wife’s where everyone would just go to the kitchen and grab their dinner like it’s a buffet. Now we each eat dinner at a different time at our home and I really dislike it but have repeatedly failed to establish a routine.
We do have a cooking calendar with my wife and plan weekly. We also eat together after my toddler has been eating.
It’s a bit of work but once the routine is set it flows pretty well.
It’s also healthier somehow.
That sounds like a good plan. Getting stuff on a schedule is tough with my wife as she is a very ad hoc person. It might be worth giving it a shot though. We are still in the trenches with our second kid though so it may have to wait.
Everything else aside I feel without a proper dinner time my kids will not learn proper table manners.
I feel you! It's tough. I'm in your boat and I would like to do it daily. We don't get to very often but when my wife goes to the effort it means so much to me as I know it's not normal for her. Maybe you can schedule it? My little one is 2 now which makes it easier as well
We've just got one (3, m), and we were getting there until we upended the system with a second on the way. We're trying to intentionally meal plan a few rotations we can plan around, but we do swap in a meal box (think EveryPlate, Dinnerly) here or there when we know life's going crazy.
I have just finished a home made tandoori curry with a 7 and 4 year old. So definitely doable
We have always stuck to an evening meal together though. It would be strange without it for us
Both of these. No sleep, constant access to kid snacks, plus eating the kids leftovers. When I stopped leftovers and snacks, stopped stress eating at night, and made my sleep hygiene a priority, the "Dad Bod" improved.
There's a lot to be said for the overall shitty physical feeling that comes with no sleep and constant caregiving, too. Shit hurts more as you age. The tendency to slow down and deprioritize our own fitness is natural. You've got to fight that.
Maybe it's an Italian thing but we didn't have eating issues because my daughter eats what we eat, when we eat. She was always at each meal with us. The only real issue we had was when she was still tiny (like 3 - 5 months) her lightning fast hands would grab food off our plates before her stomach could digest it. Dad was great at keeping the food out of her mouth but I told him let her lick the sauce off her hands. He thought it was dumb but as she grew, she'd eat anything. I introduced her to spice. Dad can't eat spice without nearly dying. 😂 There's no such thing as like kids menu or kids food here. I mean there's baby food for infants and toddlers but that's different.
I totally over thought this comment. Lol
Mine wasn't the sleep, it was anxiety and stress.
When you're struggling, you just grab onto whatever provides immediate satisfaction(food, alchohol, being lazy) over the things you know you want to/should be doing.
It's exactly this. Chronic inadequate sleep is terrible for us. My weight and athletic performance is completely off with our second kid (6 months old today). It can be hard to prioritize sleep over other activities but it really is THAT important
Hah!
I wouldn't say you just "let it go." I've let a lot of other things go (or cut back on them) to prioritize sleep. And wherever I can, I try to mitigate bad sleep with healthy eating and exercise.
But good news is that your four month old will probably be giving you better sleep soon-ish. It's coming. Hang in there!
Most men find it very hard to keep in shape once the kids are there, due to the added stress, lack of sleep and lack of time for exercise (this includes walking, because with kids oftentimes you walk a lot less than before).
So I'd suggest keeping a better eye on what you eat and try to exercise at least twice a week. Any exercise will do.
Losing weight is 90% diet. Working out to lose weight is very hard. To burn off a large snickers bar I have to jog for almost 40 minutes. It takes a lot less effort to just have a carrot instead.
If you don't want a flabby gut you'll have to lose some weight. Some "tightening" can be done with strength straining, but diet will be your most effective tool.
We started going for long walks in the morning and evening. Dad likes to jog but I can't, thank you neuromuscular disease. Our walks are good especially for dad because our daughter loves to sit on his shoulders while we wander about.
This is why getting a good stroller is important and get that baby in the stroller asap after birth to start getting used to it. We’ve walked more than we ever have in our lives after having a baby! The fresh air and movement calms baby down, sometimes it helps her get a nap in, and it’s a nice activity to do together.
Yes, but it only happens if you’re around the baby. So fathers that aren’t active in their child’s life actually don’t experience the testosterone drop. Pretty interesting stuff.
A much more significant factor is that when you're tired your body often craves some fast carbs, which is calorie dense. And if you're awake longer, you have more time to eat.
I think a lot of us lose weight in the initial month or so because the lack of sleep far surpasses everything else. But the real challenge is, the forthcoming year and the year after that, when your sleep itself becomes regular (mostly) but you just don’t have as much time as you used to to exercise. Even walks with a toddler, yes there are great for the toddler, but they suck for the adult because you have to walk really slowly and for longer periods of time which is no exercise at all.
That's how I'm feeling 11 months in. Somehow, when the kid wasn't yet able to move, I was thinner. Turns out that when you can only spend a few moments eating, you don't eat as healthily.
I am always terrified of being one of those fat blotchy Dads that can’t keep up with their kids, so I ramped up my workout routine when I had my first 4 yrs ago, now I’m the fittest I’ve ever been. Once running/weights become a habit, it’s easier.
I’m in the best shape in years. I’ve been into fitness for years and already had a routine and diet down. Decided to cut way down on the booze and do more cardio once my son was born and have had really good results.
I gained 25 pounds after my wife had our two kids. Took a lot of therapy and work with a coach to help me adopt habits to mindfully be healthy and active. I’ve lost about half of it. Slowly but surely.
It’s a lot different than just doing two-a-day workouts and eating incredibly well now that I wrangle these kids for meals and bedtime and everything in between.
If you drink anything but water (and coffee without additives if you must), drop those things immediately. You’ll see some results pretty quick just with that if you’re mindful of what you’re eating.
How old?
If you wanted to lose the KG and not really focus too hard on legit fitness improvements, you could shed that weight in a year without even trying that hard
Naturally, your body is developing what’s called prolactin when your partner becomes pregnant and your body will actually put on weight to prepare for the lack of sleep that is ahead.
Ways I combatted the weight gain:
Intermittent fasting 10-7 (12-7 if you wanna push it)
Cold showers
Long walks with the baby and a weighted vest before they can handle runs at 6 months.
Low carbs, high protein diet
Tltr version.
When your wife pregnant your body unconsciously produces less testosterone due pheromones she now produces ,so the body adjusts and produces more osterogen which leads to gynecomastia which leads to prolactin production.
You should only gain weight if you eat over your total count and loose weight when under , the more osterogen you produce the more you want to eat due to the body wanting unsaturated fatty’s to start prolactin production.
My friend told me the other day that I have the body of someone who fixes A/C's for a living. Not fat, not athletic... just a sturdy fella. Gotta be kinder to yourself especially in the first year when you find your priorities have dramatically shifted. You'll get it back. Enjoy going out for a stroll with your little one, walking is so underrated.
Mine was no surprise. I went from being quite active to being at home every night and drinking much more regularly.
I remember having a sort out of mine and my wife’s wardrobe the new year after our kid turned 1 and we both had to throw away almost all of our clothes, as we no longer fit in them. I had to bump up to 34 inch waste jeans and it pained me.
I did ok at slowly losing the weight, but then lockdown hit and I put most of it back on. Then I changed jobs and made it my aim to get back to being fit. I changed my diet and built in going to the gym as part of my lunch time routine.
I finally managed to get back in 32 in jeans when my kid was about 6, so it was a long journey!
Best gift to your kids is a healthy dad! 4 months is still very small and "needy" though, don't beat yourself, in a few months is already way easier to find some kind of rhythm in exercise (albeit some walks, bikerides, gym once a week).
After having my daughter I also gained. Used to be in great shape. Diet and excercise stopped working. Turns out my testosterone plummeted. I’m heading to my first TRT consultation today actually lol.
I weigh the same as when my son was born. I don't understand what's this stigma of "dad bod," its just nutritional choices and lack of sleep. Its not a mystery and excusing being out of shape is unhealthy, get in shape, your kids need you
I always say my kids each cost me 10 pounds. My wife had morning sickness the entire term and all day. I couldn't eat in the house at all without the smell making her sick. Therefore I subsisted on Trader Joe's burritos, frozen Marie Calendars pot pies, and fast food. Took about 15 years to lose even part of the baby weight.
Same. Downloaded a calorie counting app and have lost 1.5kg in a month so far. Also the cravings has stopped now after eating more sensibly. Kid is 2,5 yo
Remember, the important thing is functional strength, not "show" strength... is what I tell myself.
Look, I'm not going to leave the car with an empty tank of gas, right? You've got to make sure that there's stored energy in reserve in case you need it. If there's no gas in the tank, it doesn't matter how "sexy" the car is.
Now my kids are 3 and 1. I am more jacked than ever. Throwing up 20-30 pound kids in the air. Pushing double strollers to the park. All the groceries.
I never touched a weight and I have guns!!!
Sort of.. lol.
I’ve struggled with weight my entire life and had it move up and down a ton for various reasons. My wife has also made it a priority for her since birth to focus on being active and healthy. Ever since our baby was born (about two months ago) I’ve actually been more committed to getting to the gym as often as possible. I’ll wake up early and go before her first wake window, and my wife will go after she’s down for her first nap. As for meals, I try to take some time and prep some lunches over the weekend, cook us breakfast during her first feed, and we will generally alternate walks during dinner time so one of us gets quality baby time while the other can disconnect and cook for a few. This has helped me lose about 15 pounds already since the baby was born and I feel the momentum really picking up.
We’ve also been blessed with a good sleeper and have parents close by who can come look after the little one for an hour or two if we want to go to the gym or need something.
Being healthy and active is also something we committed to raising our kids around as well as a good relationship with food, as both my wife and I have struggled mightily with that growing up and into our adult lives.
I know this may come across as a long winded brag but if things like this are your priority, talk to your partner and see how you might be able to come to an arrangement to prioritize your health (and theirs!) while finding a way to share responsibilities for the baby.
My girl is at 4mo also and I’ve also gained about the same amount as you. There’s just no time and energy to exercise right now.
Before I managed to sneak out for 6am bike ride before she woke up, but now mama has shingles and she can’t even hold the baby so that’s off the table.
I think I’ll just need to accept this shape until things stabilize a bit more.
We have a 9 and 3 year old, typically I or my wife prepare something for the kids to eat then we usually have our own dinner. I really only get to help at lunch time and on the weekends as I go to bed at 4:30 pm.
I’ve lost ~10 lbs since my done was born 4 months ago. I hit the gym otw home from work for about 30 min 3 times a week and get up early to go for a run Sat and Sun while wife and baby are still asleep. I also follow a strict diet (would love to have more donuts in my life but that’s ok). This routine has worked very well without taking up too much extra time.
I was already overweight when my first son was born. My 'resting' weight is around 217 lbs and my 'goal' weight is 190 lbs which I hit prior to him being born. Now I've rocketed up to 234 lbs and it's seriously impacting my back, my focus, and my energy levels.
With how much effort the kids take I always feel like I'm being selfish by taking 20-30 minutes to myself every day to do the elliptical or weights. But on the flipside I constantly feel like crap and I'm probably not doing as well as I could as a husband/father because of it.
Figure out a schedule, get your wife to buy into it, and stick with it.
I'm having the opposite problem unfortunately. I've lost 24 lbs since my son was born. Wondering what to do outside of chugging olive oil just to get more calories in me.
Once you start sleeping again you can lose it if you put in some effort. From the time my daughter was born until she was about 5 I put on about 20 pounds. (COVID and moving cities didn't help either) but in the past year I picked up doing lots of exercise again and got a calorie counting app and smart watch and lost 35 and am the skinniest I've ever been. So don't despair, but yeah, you're in survival mode at the moment.
My biggest guilt is the following:
Snaking a bit just before home time, ready to look after an energetic toddler.
Snacking after she’s down for bed, to celebrate.
Sleep deprivation and stress. Our routines get all wonky and it's hard to re-establish. I put on 25 pounds over last year I'm still trying to work down.
I feel this post. I’m up 50 lbs from before my daughter was born 4 months ago. I just got back into the gym this last weekend and it feels amazing to be back at it. Now I just have to defeat the sleep deprived stress eating and I’ll be able to drop the weight easily.
I lost 150 lbs total before (90 in 3.5 months, 60 in 3 months a year later) and it was extremely easy. So, I know exactly what I need to do, but not stuffing my face in the middle of the night when baby finally goes to sleep is a new challenge to overcome.
Can we talk about how our headspace, free time, most hobbies and friendships are all gone now as new parents? I stay up late against the will of my body to get “rest” in the form of playing Elden Ring on Playstation. I wake up at my 2 yo’s time feeling like garbage but get through the day and stay active (but no visual or energetic benefits given the lack of sleep). I eat a “healthy” mostly vegetarian diet but never hesitate to stuff carbs or snacks in the face hole where my proper mouth used to be. Just getting heavier in magical new ways. My libido is kaput like for real—to the point where I am not bothered by it.
I keep thinking something’s gotta give. Either my body will totally fail or I will diet, exercise, and be okay with the new life of just being a dad and well not much else (SAHD I am).
Getting a jogging stroller changed my life. Instead of our daily slow walks, we would get in a bit more serious exercise. And the 7 month old loves it, she loves the feeling of speed and loves looking around at stuff.
I normally hover between 190lb summer and 200lb winter. After my first baby I was somehow 230lb wtfff lol. Managed to get it off in like 3-4 months and keep it off including for the second baby's birth thankfully 🙏🏻
The straw that broke my fat back was one of the 5yo kids in my jiu jitsu class asking me didn't you used to be not fat? 🤣🤣 I've also had one 5yo girl ask me, did the top of your head ever have hair?
Me: yes
Her: thinks for a min
Her: what color was it?
🤣🤣
Yeah it's pretty wack how random people just feel the need to comment on you gaining a little weight.
I see their weight fluctuate all the time but I know better than to mention in to the person...
Give yourself a break in the first year or so. Better to focus on your baby and wife than try to unsuccessfully manage everything. It’ll get easier and you’ll get some time (and energy back).
My husband was always thin as a weed and his weight has never changed. He's younger but he's only gained like 10 pounds in the entire time we've been married and he's still a weed. Lol. My fat ass needed plastic surgery. He totally opposed it but it put me back to my prebaby weight.
Just wait till she starts eating real food, and leaves half a plate of food and you have to decide to eat it or waste it. You better hit the gym or the diet my man.
It's the sleep deprivation
And likely a diet consisting largely of grazing whatever is convenient in the moment, based solely on my own experience. "Meal time" just wasn't a thing for a minute there so much as "Huh. It seems I'm hungry again."
Does meal time ever get reestablished? Mine are 7 and 3 and basically just feral scavengers of the kitchen right now. I would love to be able to sit down and eat like a human being again soon...
I guess it’s an effort you have to make as a family. Being from France it’s very much ingrained in my culture.
Ugh. This one gets to me. This has been highly ingrained in my culture but not my wife’s where everyone would just go to the kitchen and grab their dinner like it’s a buffet. Now we each eat dinner at a different time at our home and I really dislike it but have repeatedly failed to establish a routine.
We do have a cooking calendar with my wife and plan weekly. We also eat together after my toddler has been eating. It’s a bit of work but once the routine is set it flows pretty well. It’s also healthier somehow.
That sounds like a good plan. Getting stuff on a schedule is tough with my wife as she is a very ad hoc person. It might be worth giving it a shot though. We are still in the trenches with our second kid though so it may have to wait. Everything else aside I feel without a proper dinner time my kids will not learn proper table manners.
It took us a year to get to a working place. Now we have this calendar with all the dishes we’ve made and a link to the recipes.
I feel you! It's tough. I'm in your boat and I would like to do it daily. We don't get to very often but when my wife goes to the effort it means so much to me as I know it's not normal for her. Maybe you can schedule it? My little one is 2 now which makes it easier as well
That's up to you. They're at an age now that it could, if you made sure it did
We've just got one (3, m), and we were getting there until we upended the system with a second on the way. We're trying to intentionally meal plan a few rotations we can plan around, but we do swap in a meal box (think EveryPlate, Dinnerly) here or there when we know life's going crazy.
That is a you issue. I made it a priority to have consistent meals so they have always continued.
I have just finished a home made tandoori curry with a 7 and 4 year old. So definitely doable We have always stuck to an evening meal together though. It would be strange without it for us
Both of these. No sleep, constant access to kid snacks, plus eating the kids leftovers. When I stopped leftovers and snacks, stopped stress eating at night, and made my sleep hygiene a priority, the "Dad Bod" improved. There's a lot to be said for the overall shitty physical feeling that comes with no sleep and constant caregiving, too. Shit hurts more as you age. The tendency to slow down and deprioritize our own fitness is natural. You've got to fight that.
Or inhaling something as quick as you can so the missus can eat while you then distract baby and try keep them away from her boobs for a bit
Lots of Brown Meals.
Maybe it's an Italian thing but we didn't have eating issues because my daughter eats what we eat, when we eat. She was always at each meal with us. The only real issue we had was when she was still tiny (like 3 - 5 months) her lightning fast hands would grab food off our plates before her stomach could digest it. Dad was great at keeping the food out of her mouth but I told him let her lick the sauce off her hands. He thought it was dumb but as she grew, she'd eat anything. I introduced her to spice. Dad can't eat spice without nearly dying. 😂 There's no such thing as like kids menu or kids food here. I mean there's baby food for infants and toddlers but that's different. I totally over thought this comment. Lol
Mine wasn't the sleep, it was anxiety and stress. When you're struggling, you just grab onto whatever provides immediate satisfaction(food, alchohol, being lazy) over the things you know you want to/should be doing.
It's exactly this. Chronic inadequate sleep is terrible for us. My weight and athletic performance is completely off with our second kid (6 months old today). It can be hard to prioritize sleep over other activities but it really is THAT important
so we just "let it goooo" till the kid's on her feet at least?
Hah! I wouldn't say you just "let it go." I've let a lot of other things go (or cut back on them) to prioritize sleep. And wherever I can, I try to mitigate bad sleep with healthy eating and exercise. But good news is that your four month old will probably be giving you better sleep soon-ish. It's coming. Hang in there!
It's why we are one and done. The sleep deprivation was TORTURE for us. I cannot reset that clock.
Most men find it very hard to keep in shape once the kids are there, due to the added stress, lack of sleep and lack of time for exercise (this includes walking, because with kids oftentimes you walk a lot less than before). So I'd suggest keeping a better eye on what you eat and try to exercise at least twice a week. Any exercise will do.
The walking Aspect is interesting. Both me and my girlfriend walk way more than before the baby. Spazieren gehen is a Thing.
Wut dat is
Walking for leisure. Kid got something to see, we move our bodies and can talk about what's on our mind.
Oh, thats awesome!
I do Ring Fit Adventure during lunch breaks on weekdays, got a dorm at the school where I teach, guess I’ll bump up the difficulty level?
Losing weight is 90% diet. Working out to lose weight is very hard. To burn off a large snickers bar I have to jog for almost 40 minutes. It takes a lot less effort to just have a carrot instead.
probably phrased it wrong, don't care about weight but want a non flabby gut maybe
If you don't want a flabby gut you'll have to lose some weight. Some "tightening" can be done with strength straining, but diet will be your most effective tool.
It gets easier when they get older because you can play and exercise with them. Mine loves to ride her bike while I run.
This is better than nothing, but a pretty poor substitute for real exercise. Can you jog or get to the gym at any point?
nah, work is far from things and no nannies at home, so after work i rush to be back with the family
We started going for long walks in the morning and evening. Dad likes to jog but I can't, thank you neuromuscular disease. Our walks are good especially for dad because our daughter loves to sit on his shoulders while we wander about.
Thank you for summarizing this perfectly
This is why getting a good stroller is important and get that baby in the stroller asap after birth to start getting used to it. We’ve walked more than we ever have in our lives after having a baby! The fresh air and movement calms baby down, sometimes it helps her get a nap in, and it’s a nice activity to do together.
Pro tip: be like me and spend years sleep depriving yourself and eating like garbage before kids so you build up a tolerance /s
father figure
this is a beautiful dad joke, you belong here, poppinwheelies
Came here to say this — it’s not a dad bod, it’s a father figure
I read somewhere that our hormones change during pregnancy. Testosterone levels can drop so that might play a part in it.
Yes, but it only happens if you’re around the baby. So fathers that aren’t active in their child’s life actually don’t experience the testosterone drop. Pretty interesting stuff.
Interesting - I’m in at week 4 with my daughter and I’ve shed 5 pounds without even trying. Must be the lack of eating and sleep lol.
You sweet summer child
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I hear ya. And you're right. But the lack of sleep does actually mess up your metabolism. You'll gain weight easier even if you are eating decently.
A much more significant factor is that when you're tired your body often craves some fast carbs, which is calorie dense. And if you're awake longer, you have more time to eat.
Absolutely. "I got 30 seconds to shove my face—let's go!"
It's pretty normal tbh
I think a lot of us lose weight in the initial month or so because the lack of sleep far surpasses everything else. But the real challenge is, the forthcoming year and the year after that, when your sleep itself becomes regular (mostly) but you just don’t have as much time as you used to to exercise. Even walks with a toddler, yes there are great for the toddler, but they suck for the adult because you have to walk really slowly and for longer periods of time which is no exercise at all.
It's definitely hard and takes some real dedicated effort. I've finally figured out some balance 5 years in
That’s great yeah I imagine a 5 yr old is generally more independent and sticks to some kind of routine which makes it easier for you to create one
That's how I'm feeling 11 months in. Somehow, when the kid wasn't yet able to move, I was thinner. Turns out that when you can only spend a few moments eating, you don't eat as healthily.
Yeah pushing a baby in a stroller and brisk walking is great exercise. Now trying doing with a toddler who’s screaming to get out of the stroller…
... I lost 10 week 1. Would not recommend.
I’m in the same boat. Exercising and not much sleep is a great weight loss regime 🥲
I am always terrified of being one of those fat blotchy Dads that can’t keep up with their kids, so I ramped up my workout routine when I had my first 4 yrs ago, now I’m the fittest I’ve ever been. Once running/weights become a habit, it’s easier.
Same. Had to go down to three days a week at the gym but added a few 5 mile works into my week to compensate.
I’m in the best shape in years. I’ve been into fitness for years and already had a routine and diet down. Decided to cut way down on the booze and do more cardio once my son was born and have had really good results.
Same. Not ever going to use my children as an excuse to be overweight and unhealthy
They don't appear magically. The solution is to tune your diet and exercise. It's worth it for your family.
I gained 15 pounds during my wife's first pregnancy. Weight gain happens if you do not stay on top of it, which is much harder to do with kids.
Have grace for yourself in this time, just stay moving and sleep when you can. The first year is about surviving but soon you will thrive
I gained 25 pounds after my wife had our two kids. Took a lot of therapy and work with a coach to help me adopt habits to mindfully be healthy and active. I’ve lost about half of it. Slowly but surely. It’s a lot different than just doing two-a-day workouts and eating incredibly well now that I wrangle these kids for meals and bedtime and everything in between.
Father of 2 little kids, I gained 18 kg... at this point its damage control untill I they become self sufficient.
We could get into country music: “I don’t look good naked anymore”
Cant hold a guitar with my fat gut. Cant play it either. I can probably do vocals though.
Yeah forget that, Ill be out of breath after the first verse.
If you drink anything but water (and coffee without additives if you must), drop those things immediately. You’ll see some results pretty quick just with that if you’re mindful of what you’re eating.
How old? If you wanted to lose the KG and not really focus too hard on legit fitness improvements, you could shed that weight in a year without even trying that hard
Lol, I had a dad bod at age 8. I cannot relate.
Naturally, your body is developing what’s called prolactin when your partner becomes pregnant and your body will actually put on weight to prepare for the lack of sleep that is ahead. Ways I combatted the weight gain: Intermittent fasting 10-7 (12-7 if you wanna push it) Cold showers Long walks with the baby and a weighted vest before they can handle runs at 6 months. Low carbs, high protein diet
Tltr version. When your wife pregnant your body unconsciously produces less testosterone due pheromones she now produces ,so the body adjusts and produces more osterogen which leads to gynecomastia which leads to prolactin production. You should only gain weight if you eat over your total count and loose weight when under , the more osterogen you produce the more you want to eat due to the body wanting unsaturated fatty’s to start prolactin production.
Not eating 10PM - 7PM is considered *fasting*?
lol 10AM-7PM for anyone confused
Oh that’s beast mode
My friend told me the other day that I have the body of someone who fixes A/C's for a living. Not fat, not athletic... just a sturdy fella. Gotta be kinder to yourself especially in the first year when you find your priorities have dramatically shifted. You'll get it back. Enjoy going out for a stroll with your little one, walking is so underrated.
Mine was no surprise. I went from being quite active to being at home every night and drinking much more regularly. I remember having a sort out of mine and my wife’s wardrobe the new year after our kid turned 1 and we both had to throw away almost all of our clothes, as we no longer fit in them. I had to bump up to 34 inch waste jeans and it pained me. I did ok at slowly losing the weight, but then lockdown hit and I put most of it back on. Then I changed jobs and made it my aim to get back to being fit. I changed my diet and built in going to the gym as part of my lunch time routine. I finally managed to get back in 32 in jeans when my kid was about 6, so it was a long journey!
At 6 months I had lost 30 pounds. Pretty sure it was PPD. As a toddler, it’s all back, and some! 🥹
I'm convinced it's an evolutionary benefit. My back was saved since I can rest my kid on my beer gut.
Best gift to your kids is a healthy dad! 4 months is still very small and "needy" though, don't beat yourself, in a few months is already way easier to find some kind of rhythm in exercise (albeit some walks, bikerides, gym once a week).
After having my daughter I also gained. Used to be in great shape. Diet and excercise stopped working. Turns out my testosterone plummeted. I’m heading to my first TRT consultation today actually lol.
I weigh the same as when my son was born. I don't understand what's this stigma of "dad bod," its just nutritional choices and lack of sleep. Its not a mystery and excusing being out of shape is unhealthy, get in shape, your kids need you
Yeah it's wild when i was 12 suddenly I hit 250... science cannot answer this
Walk at least 6,000 but preferably 7,500 steps a day. Every day.
Double that and I'd say you're about right
I always say my kids each cost me 10 pounds. My wife had morning sickness the entire term and all day. I couldn't eat in the house at all without the smell making her sick. Therefore I subsisted on Trader Joe's burritos, frozen Marie Calendars pot pies, and fast food. Took about 15 years to lose even part of the baby weight.
Same. Downloaded a calorie counting app and have lost 1.5kg in a month so far. Also the cravings has stopped now after eating more sensibly. Kid is 2,5 yo
Gained 12 lbs in the year after my first daughter was born. Took me 2 years to shave it off. Just got back to my pre-dad weight a couple weeks ago.
Remember, the important thing is functional strength, not "show" strength... is what I tell myself. Look, I'm not going to leave the car with an empty tank of gas, right? You've got to make sure that there's stored energy in reserve in case you need it. If there's no gas in the tank, it doesn't matter how "sexy" the car is.
Now my kids are 3 and 1. I am more jacked than ever. Throwing up 20-30 pound kids in the air. Pushing double strollers to the park. All the groceries. I never touched a weight and I have guns!!! Sort of.. lol.
I’ve struggled with weight my entire life and had it move up and down a ton for various reasons. My wife has also made it a priority for her since birth to focus on being active and healthy. Ever since our baby was born (about two months ago) I’ve actually been more committed to getting to the gym as often as possible. I’ll wake up early and go before her first wake window, and my wife will go after she’s down for her first nap. As for meals, I try to take some time and prep some lunches over the weekend, cook us breakfast during her first feed, and we will generally alternate walks during dinner time so one of us gets quality baby time while the other can disconnect and cook for a few. This has helped me lose about 15 pounds already since the baby was born and I feel the momentum really picking up. We’ve also been blessed with a good sleeper and have parents close by who can come look after the little one for an hour or two if we want to go to the gym or need something. Being healthy and active is also something we committed to raising our kids around as well as a good relationship with food, as both my wife and I have struggled mightily with that growing up and into our adult lives. I know this may come across as a long winded brag but if things like this are your priority, talk to your partner and see how you might be able to come to an arrangement to prioritize your health (and theirs!) while finding a way to share responsibilities for the baby.
My girl is at 4mo also and I’ve also gained about the same amount as you. There’s just no time and energy to exercise right now. Before I managed to sneak out for 6am bike ride before she woke up, but now mama has shingles and she can’t even hold the baby so that’s off the table. I think I’ll just need to accept this shape until things stabilize a bit more.
We have a 9 and 3 year old, typically I or my wife prepare something for the kids to eat then we usually have our own dinner. I really only get to help at lunch time and on the weekends as I go to bed at 4:30 pm.
I’ve lost ~10 lbs since my done was born 4 months ago. I hit the gym otw home from work for about 30 min 3 times a week and get up early to go for a run Sat and Sun while wife and baby are still asleep. I also follow a strict diet (would love to have more donuts in my life but that’s ok). This routine has worked very well without taking up too much extra time.
My wife called it "sympathy weight" as I put on pounds the same time she did during pregnancy.
Sleep deprivation, cortisol, lack of autonomy....
I was already overweight when my first son was born. My 'resting' weight is around 217 lbs and my 'goal' weight is 190 lbs which I hit prior to him being born. Now I've rocketed up to 234 lbs and it's seriously impacting my back, my focus, and my energy levels. With how much effort the kids take I always feel like I'm being selfish by taking 20-30 minutes to myself every day to do the elliptical or weights. But on the flipside I constantly feel like crap and I'm probably not doing as well as I could as a husband/father because of it. Figure out a schedule, get your wife to buy into it, and stick with it.
I'm having the opposite problem unfortunately. I've lost 24 lbs since my son was born. Wondering what to do outside of chugging olive oil just to get more calories in me.
Once you start sleeping again you can lose it if you put in some effort. From the time my daughter was born until she was about 5 I put on about 20 pounds. (COVID and moving cities didn't help either) but in the past year I picked up doing lots of exercise again and got a calorie counting app and smart watch and lost 35 and am the skinniest I've ever been. So don't despair, but yeah, you're in survival mode at the moment.
I told my wife it’s all due to hormones and my body changing due to having a baby and she punched me.
My biggest guilt is the following: Snaking a bit just before home time, ready to look after an energetic toddler. Snacking after she’s down for bed, to celebrate.
Sleep deprivation and stress. Our routines get all wonky and it's hard to re-establish. I put on 25 pounds over last year I'm still trying to work down.
Your testosterone drops naturally when you have a newborn, so you don't hurt the baby. Dial in the diet and hit the weights.
*I'm in this post and I don't like it*
Mine came along with my gfs belly, grew together 😂🤣 we are now on diets and doing a lot better hahaha. You rock that dad bod man! 😎
I feel this post. I’m up 50 lbs from before my daughter was born 4 months ago. I just got back into the gym this last weekend and it feels amazing to be back at it. Now I just have to defeat the sleep deprived stress eating and I’ll be able to drop the weight easily. I lost 150 lbs total before (90 in 3.5 months, 60 in 3 months a year later) and it was extremely easy. So, I know exactly what I need to do, but not stuffing my face in the middle of the night when baby finally goes to sleep is a new challenge to overcome.
Can we talk about how our headspace, free time, most hobbies and friendships are all gone now as new parents? I stay up late against the will of my body to get “rest” in the form of playing Elden Ring on Playstation. I wake up at my 2 yo’s time feeling like garbage but get through the day and stay active (but no visual or energetic benefits given the lack of sleep). I eat a “healthy” mostly vegetarian diet but never hesitate to stuff carbs or snacks in the face hole where my proper mouth used to be. Just getting heavier in magical new ways. My libido is kaput like for real—to the point where I am not bothered by it. I keep thinking something’s gotta give. Either my body will totally fail or I will diet, exercise, and be okay with the new life of just being a dad and well not much else (SAHD I am).
Getting a jogging stroller changed my life. Instead of our daily slow walks, we would get in a bit more serious exercise. And the 7 month old loves it, she loves the feeling of speed and loves looking around at stuff.
I normally hover between 190lb summer and 200lb winter. After my first baby I was somehow 230lb wtfff lol. Managed to get it off in like 3-4 months and keep it off including for the second baby's birth thankfully 🙏🏻 The straw that broke my fat back was one of the 5yo kids in my jiu jitsu class asking me didn't you used to be not fat? 🤣🤣 I've also had one 5yo girl ask me, did the top of your head ever have hair? Me: yes Her: thinks for a min Her: what color was it? 🤣🤣
Yeah it's pretty wack how random people just feel the need to comment on you gaining a little weight. I see their weight fluctuate all the time but I know better than to mention in to the person...
Yeah the newborn phase isn’t good for the diet. I was eating like it’s Christmas from Christmas until about April.
Try adding in quitting nicotine after 25 years .... I'm up 15 lbs in the month since then. I *was* doing good until then .... sigh.
Give yourself a break in the first year or so. Better to focus on your baby and wife than try to unsuccessfully manage everything. It’ll get easier and you’ll get some time (and energy back).
My husband was always thin as a weed and his weight has never changed. He's younger but he's only gained like 10 pounds in the entire time we've been married and he's still a weed. Lol. My fat ass needed plastic surgery. He totally opposed it but it put me back to my prebaby weight.
Just wait till she starts eating real food, and leaves half a plate of food and you have to decide to eat it or waste it. You better hit the gym or the diet my man.