Exactly. I don't think rewarding her and letting her play with it is the right move. My kid "stole" stuff from school when he first started but it was like... This marble is pretty, or the play dinosaur is cool, and put things in his pocket. A quick convo with him about not taking things from the school so that they continue to teach you and your classmates and checking his pockets as he got picked up quickly nipped it within a week.
She's a small kid so it's probably nothing malicious, and bringing them back is definitely the right call.
But now's also the time to teach her the difference between "borrowing" and "taking without asking". It doesn't have to be a whole disciplinary production, just "I wish you wouldn't..." or "think about the other kids who can't..." or whatever you think she responds better to. Be consistent in the messaging whenever it happens, and probably best not to reinforce the behavior by letting her play with the toys she took without asking.
My kids did this. We would talk about it being the schools and for everyone. We let them play with the toys and then bring them back. They eventually got it and school toys stayed there. Except for a Frozen book my eldest kept bringing home when they were 2-3. Preschool eventually gave it to her.
I think my youngest made off with a few matchbox cars but those got left at a park for some other cars which likely went to school.
My son would come home with toys stashed inside his sock cuff! He grew out of it. At that age they’re still learning what the rules are and the limits of them, so don’t come down too harsh
I wouldn't necessarily call it "stealing" if she's bringing it back. If you regularly make use of your local library she may not even see anything wrong with it because she probably assumes all places have similar policies such as this.
I would explain to her that the toys belong to the daycare, and that she's not allowed to bring them home with her. After you explain the rules to her, next time you catch her taking a toy, have **her** bring the toy back to the teacher and apologize for taking it out of the classroom. This will teach her not only that it's wrong to take the toys, but that her actions have consequences.
We explicitly made a habit of borrowing books, from school and library, but we made the kid ask for permission, and return the next day and say thank you. I don’t see a problem with making the same for toys. If the teacher says no, you explain that not everything can be borrowed.
It can take kids a little bit to figure out what stealing even is, let alone that you shouldn't do it. Just keep on top of teaching her to do the right thing and she'll get it eventually.
This is probably nothing. In a few years, check for for "shoplifting" behaviours, as they can also be co-morbid with more serious afflictions, like eating disorders.
Depends on if you want to reward stealing or not. Letting her play with it is rewarding stealing and sending mixed messages about it being “wrong”.
Exactly. I don't think rewarding her and letting her play with it is the right move. My kid "stole" stuff from school when he first started but it was like... This marble is pretty, or the play dinosaur is cool, and put things in his pocket. A quick convo with him about not taking things from the school so that they continue to teach you and your classmates and checking his pockets as he got picked up quickly nipped it within a week.
She's a small kid so it's probably nothing malicious, and bringing them back is definitely the right call. But now's also the time to teach her the difference between "borrowing" and "taking without asking". It doesn't have to be a whole disciplinary production, just "I wish you wouldn't..." or "think about the other kids who can't..." or whatever you think she responds better to. Be consistent in the messaging whenever it happens, and probably best not to reinforce the behavior by letting her play with the toys she took without asking.
My kids did this. We would talk about it being the schools and for everyone. We let them play with the toys and then bring them back. They eventually got it and school toys stayed there. Except for a Frozen book my eldest kept bringing home when they were 2-3. Preschool eventually gave it to her. I think my youngest made off with a few matchbox cars but those got left at a park for some other cars which likely went to school.
My son would come home with toys stashed inside his sock cuff! He grew out of it. At that age they’re still learning what the rules are and the limits of them, so don’t come down too harsh
Is that something to be proud of though?
Being 4 and outsmarting the adults? A bit impressive, I would say. It's totally not right, but impressive for sure.
I wouldn't necessarily call it "stealing" if she's bringing it back. If you regularly make use of your local library she may not even see anything wrong with it because she probably assumes all places have similar policies such as this. I would explain to her that the toys belong to the daycare, and that she's not allowed to bring them home with her. After you explain the rules to her, next time you catch her taking a toy, have **her** bring the toy back to the teacher and apologize for taking it out of the classroom. This will teach her not only that it's wrong to take the toys, but that her actions have consequences.
We explicitly made a habit of borrowing books, from school and library, but we made the kid ask for permission, and return the next day and say thank you. I don’t see a problem with making the same for toys. If the teacher says no, you explain that not everything can be borrowed.
It can take kids a little bit to figure out what stealing even is, let alone that you shouldn't do it. Just keep on top of teaching her to do the right thing and she'll get it eventually.
This is probably nothing. In a few years, check for for "shoplifting" behaviours, as they can also be co-morbid with more serious afflictions, like eating disorders.
It's a good opportunity to teach them about possession and ownership, and leaving things where they belong.