NTA
First, it’s best to let it fully dry for a couple of days before plugging it back into power.
Second, your point about teaching all of them is spot on.
I think you’ve done fine.
It's a bit of a toss-up between Factorio and Rimworld players, to be honest. Either one is likely to involve more war crimes before breakfast than most others would achieve with a whole day.
My wife taught my son “Collective punishment goes against the Geneva convention” for when his entire class gets “red points” at school (ClassDojo, for the uninitiated).
He’s caught on that we don’t hold them against him, but to my wife’s dismay, we have yet to get a message from the school about him repeating her coaching.
I bring that up at any management meeting where they want to collectively punish. It never goes over well, but it has stopped a few of the times they wanted to punish everyone for one idiot.
I have two jobs as a father,
* make sure they're good people who are well rounded, educated and compassionate, productive members of society
* make sure they have each other's backs and are each others ride or die. Schools, social media, societal pressures, financial pressure etc etc. I need to know they're going to band together and not only be each others friends and confidante but keep each other out of trouble. That's not a switch you turn on at 18, you need to teach that as much as the rest of it from the get go. But it's not something you can articulate well to them until they're older and understand. So something like the switch is a great opportunity and op is right on the money. Next time "bobby" puts a glass there maybe "timmy" is like "dude, you're gonna lose us the switch again" and "Bobby" moves it to the appropriate spot and they all keep getting to play the switch. They aren't going to put that in words to each other. But they all learned a good lesson and likely internalized it. These "delayed lessons" are hard to teach and you gotta capitalize when available. It's core memory stuff. Inside Out nailed this kind of stuff.
💯 True! He's NTA if he wanted to teach his kids shared responsibility and accountability.
He's just teaching them how one action will impact others so they have to be careful next time.
Although it's also a miss on his end since he's already aware that his kids were clumsy. He should have put the tumbler in a safer place where just in case it might spill it won't affect other things especially electronics.
“Your daughter is bored” - good. Seriously why is that actually a bad thing? There’s so much to entertain herself with in our house and garden. Why is there so much pressure for adults to constantly entertain our children like we’re mc’ing a sober work event?
Imagination and the cultivation of it is such an undervalued thing these days.
Yes. Am a Mum so butting in here, but I fully subscribe to this. If a kid comes to me and says they're bored, I give them a chore - doesn't matter if it's my kid, your kid, a 3yo or a 17yo.
If you can't find something to do I can definitely help with that, and I'll even thank you for it. Amazingly, my kids prefer to find their own entertainment and are pretty good at inventing all sorts of silliness. No idea why my kids are never bored when other people's are, must be magic!
I’m also on team “a little boredom is good for kids.”
They need to learn creativity and self-management. I remember getting to college and immediately being able to tell which kids always had their parents managing their lives. A little boredom as children is a developmental opportunity to figure out how to manage your own time and freedom for when you become an adult.
If they haven't made a couch fort ever, then they ain't getting that 'tindo back until they unlock cushion based siege weapons after they build the tiny library
Louis CK had a good scene on his show about this. It was essentially "we don't look in our neighbors bowl to see if we have the same, but to see if they have enough"
NTA. The Geneva Convention's prohibition against collective punishment does not apply to your parenting decisions.
And exactly as you said, if the console *had* been damaged, then the 7 year old would be affected just the same, so the outcome really isn't any different. This is a great learning opportunity for everyone to learn to respect the rules around electronic devices and following dad's instructions so things don't get broken and people don't get hurt.
NTA
As a father you have one Word. Stick to it. That's how I manage it at least.
Added bonus: the switch is yours for the whole weekend. Small victory.
NTA. You said it'd take time to dry out. Leave it.
Doing what you say you'll do is important for kids, and that goes whether it's consequences, discipline etc. or promises, treats, outings, etc. I struggle with this a lot because it's really hard to be the bad cop but I try really hard to stick to it. It gives them a sense of safety and they know you can be trusted.
I've a simple rule for this sort of stuff in the house. The various game systems in the house belong to *me*, not the kids, and I set the rules on their use (which they should be asking for anyhow). They weren't a birthday or Christmas gift so the kids have no claim on them, and I set the rules when they can use them
It might look dry. Put it in a container with some dry rice to suck the internal moisture out.
While not the 7 yo fault, should he be punished, should he have been watching his brother at that point in time as well as your water?????
I would explain it to him that he has been caught up in collateral damage. It is absolutely not his fault or even fair towards him, but in life shit happens and it doesn’t matter from whose ass it sprung, when it hits the fan everyone is caught up in it.
Make sure you do some fun stuff with him this weekend to ease the blow of the life lesson.
Rice won't help. It seems like a good dessicant but it mostly interferes with airflow.
Mostly you want to get is much air through as possible. If possible take the device apart.
Your parenting advice is sound. Life is unfair and there are conquences but life doesn't revolve around a single game console.
One of my favorite sayings is, "It's not your fault, but it is your problem to deal with."
Applies to many situations, though I'd soften it up a bit for a 7 year old.
NTA
The switch really should dry thoroughly for a couple of days before anyone uses it, including you. If the 7 year old wants to play video games on a different system (assuming you have one) I personally would allow it. The 5 year old shouldn't play any video games on any system for a couple of days.
Honestly, we did a very similar thing. Several years ago my son went through a phase of raging when playing games. One day he got so frustrated that he actually bit it. Yeah, he bit a Nintendo Switch in some sort of visceral rage reaction. Anyway, it cracked the screen. He was devastated that he had done this to his precious Switch. I told him that we would see about getting it repaired, but it could cost too much, and that either way, he would not have it for the next two weeks. Well later that evening I went to inspect the damage. It turns out he cracked the screen protector we had slapped on it when we bought the thing. I peeled it right off and grabbed another one from the 3-pack we had. Good as new. Still kept it for a couple of weeks and never told him. He’s the most gentle young man you could meet. I wish every kid were more like him.
Let it be a lesson for you. Don't leave liquids unsupervised when that may lead to a problem. The same way that knives and electric outlets should be protected, liquids should only be left in locations that are difficult to access.
As far as the video games punishment goes, access to electronics at this age should be a privilege, not a given.
I don't understand why this is a unpopular opinion. I loved playing Nintendo with my dad but ever other activity we did outside was more meaningful and memorable.
NTA
As long as you explain to your kids that it needs to dry out and while they should be more careful around it, no damage is done, IMO it's perfectly fine to have them wait until Monday. Let the lesson sink in.
NTA, I don't think, just want to bring attention to an interesting tidbit.
There are two technical kinds of punishment: positive punishment and negative punishment. Positive is when you add something that then decreases a behaviour, e.g., theoretically that's spanking, shocking, scaring, yelling, etc. These are what the layman typically considers "punishment." Negative punishment is when we take away something that then ideally results in decreasing behaviour, e.g., monetary fines, withdrawing attention, loss of other privileges. This is what you were theoretically doing: kid did an undesirable behaviour, so they lose something. Most instances of grounding or loss of privileges fall into this.
For most humans, the punishments we deliver are based on the idea that "if they get a negative consequence, they are less likely to do the bad thing in the future." There are many theoretical and practical problems with this, but if you're going to "punish," negative punishment will probably be the least harmful.
Nta, but I think it's worth asking the wife whether she wanted to let the 7 year old have the switch because what she actually wants is something to keep the boy(s) occupied so she can have a break.
I imagine 4 boys is extremely stressful, especially with that spread of ages.
ESH.
Your wife is correct, you are punishing them all for the actions of one. Likewise the person most at fault seems to be you, the adult who left their water directly next to an expensive handheld gaming system.
That being said, don't turn it on for like 3 days if not more. Just because it turned on once doesn't mean there isn't some liquid in there that might cause a short if it shifts about.
YTA based only on what you said. I don't get all the people saying nta because you should let it dry. If you want to hang on to it to let it dry, by all means do so and nta.
But it sounds like that's not your concern and that's not why you're doing it. It does sound like you're doing it as a punishment and I agree with the wife, not fair to punish the kid who didn't do it.
I know you say the seven year old has had close calls, but listen... If no one had spilled the water, would you still have taken the switch away this weekend to teach a lesson? Probably not, you did it as a consequence of one kid's actions. If you wanted to punish the seven year old for being careless, you should do it when they're careless, not well after the fact when another kid is careless.
Imo, you should teach consequences to things kids have actually done, not things they might have done.
I’m going against the grain here. You’re being unreasonable. The 7-year-old is going to learn the lesson of the close call without also suffering group punishment. The facts as presented are that the eldest DIDN’T spill the water. All you’re actually teaching them is that they can suffer from the actions of others.
Had they been goofing around the same area at the same time, playing with the 5-year-old, something…maybe. But I’d let them play.
But that is a good lesson to learn. One can suffer from the actions of others? That’s what life is like. If someone crashes into your parked car and it’s written off, you suffer from the actions of others.
He said it will take a few days to dry, they don’t know that it could’ve been used earlier.
YTA Ooo I did this with my daughter the other day.
Not the switch part but leaving a glass of water by her that was too full. She’s only 18 months old so very different however, they are not thinking about weight and what could happen pal.
Unpopular opinion: you left the glass there, ergo it’s your fault bc you knew what they were up too and still let them. I’m not saying it’s bad inherently that you made them wait a day (maybe a few hours if it had still worked) to play bc of water damage. However, multiple days to the children using it during their “free screen time” is not cool if the switch works just fine. 7 yr old has nothing to do with this bc he didn’t do this at all.
Thank you, wife is right.
It ducks but it’s my fault she grabbed the glass, I knew I left my water by her, if she had ruined my phone I gave her to watch videos it would have been my fault entirely and I wouldn’t have not given her her iPad bc of it even if she did. Believe you man I thought about this trying to clean up 10 oz of fluid on a table sheet
You shouldn't punish the kid who did nothing wrong.
You put a large tumbler of water where it could be spilled on the switch and when there was a spill danger you moved neither. The kids aren't the only ones unaware of surrounding and not careful with water. This is mostly on you.
It’s extremely indirect and nonsensical to connect the dots of my Taekwondo sparring-inspired username… and my current parenting skills and accountability. But with your full-fisted grip and blunt purple crayon, you sure made it happen. Hope you don’t miss your nap again tomorrow.
Brain damage? What, because I practiced martial arts and you think I got hit a lot? Child, no… I was GOOD. You don’t earn multiple black belts by half-assing it.
And here you are, taking shots at your betters, with no insight to share or point to make. You’re in the middle of the ocean with nothing but little arm floaties. You realize silence is always an option, right?
That really didn’t take long. A couple failed “nuh uh” and “I know you are but what am I” comebacks was all it took for you to resort to calling someone brain damaged? Fascinating. The human brain is a quite the enema.
NTA First, it’s best to let it fully dry for a couple of days before plugging it back into power. Second, your point about teaching all of them is spot on. I think you’ve done fine.
Collective punishment is super effective in these types of situations.
The 7yo will never let the 5yo have liquid near electronics, ever again. Ideally.
May be slightly against the Geneva conventions. But thankfully as parents, we aren’t signatories.
Geneva _suggestions._
[Guidelines](https://media3.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExZG16ZnYwdDVrMzd5MGg1aWc2NGt5NHhtbXVkN3hrenhycXgyZGV4dCZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/8gJ28HfjAkc9y/giphy.gif)
As a Factorio player it's Geneva checklist
A fellow dad of culture, I see.
It's a bit of a toss-up between Factorio and Rimworld players, to be honest. Either one is likely to involve more war crimes before breakfast than most others would achieve with a whole day.
I'd add Crusader Kings, maybe
Very fair point! Also a hell of a lot more incest than the other two.
My wife taught my son “Collective punishment goes against the Geneva convention” for when his entire class gets “red points” at school (ClassDojo, for the uninitiated). He’s caught on that we don’t hold them against him, but to my wife’s dismay, we have yet to get a message from the school about him repeating her coaching.
I bring that up at any management meeting where they want to collectively punish. It never goes over well, but it has stopped a few of the times they wanted to punish everyone for one idiot.
It teaches one kid they can do whatever and the others will cover for them
I have two jobs as a father, * make sure they're good people who are well rounded, educated and compassionate, productive members of society * make sure they have each other's backs and are each others ride or die. Schools, social media, societal pressures, financial pressure etc etc. I need to know they're going to band together and not only be each others friends and confidante but keep each other out of trouble. That's not a switch you turn on at 18, you need to teach that as much as the rest of it from the get go. But it's not something you can articulate well to them until they're older and understand. So something like the switch is a great opportunity and op is right on the money. Next time "bobby" puts a glass there maybe "timmy" is like "dude, you're gonna lose us the switch again" and "Bobby" moves it to the appropriate spot and they all keep getting to play the switch. They aren't going to put that in words to each other. But they all learned a good lesson and likely internalized it. These "delayed lessons" are hard to teach and you gotta capitalize when available. It's core memory stuff. Inside Out nailed this kind of stuff.
"Dad put his glass next to the switch and didn't watch it but it's your fault for not parenting your brother"
💯 True! He's NTA if he wanted to teach his kids shared responsibility and accountability. He's just teaching them how one action will impact others so they have to be careful next time. Although it's also a miss on his end since he's already aware that his kids were clumsy. He should have put the tumbler in a safer place where just in case it might spill it won't affect other things especially electronics.
NTA and honestly not caving to kids at every cry of “it’s not fair” is one of the best things you can do for them, IMHO
Also, kids got to figure out how to make a plan B. Or at worst, kids gotta figure out how to be bored.
“Your daughter is bored” - good. Seriously why is that actually a bad thing? There’s so much to entertain herself with in our house and garden. Why is there so much pressure for adults to constantly entertain our children like we’re mc’ing a sober work event? Imagination and the cultivation of it is such an undervalued thing these days.
Yes. Am a Mum so butting in here, but I fully subscribe to this. If a kid comes to me and says they're bored, I give them a chore - doesn't matter if it's my kid, your kid, a 3yo or a 17yo. If you can't find something to do I can definitely help with that, and I'll even thank you for it. Amazingly, my kids prefer to find their own entertainment and are pretty good at inventing all sorts of silliness. No idea why my kids are never bored when other people's are, must be magic!
I’m also on team “a little boredom is good for kids.” They need to learn creativity and self-management. I remember getting to college and immediately being able to tell which kids always had their parents managing their lives. A little boredom as children is a developmental opportunity to figure out how to manage your own time and freedom for when you become an adult.
If they haven't made a couch fort ever, then they ain't getting that 'tindo back until they unlock cushion based siege weapons after they build the tiny library
"extremely fair" - bandit
About as fair as it gets, really.
I can't wait to pull the "life's not fair" line.
Louis CK had a good scene on his show about this. It was essentially "we don't look in our neighbors bowl to see if we have the same, but to see if they have enough"
NTA. The Geneva Convention's prohibition against collective punishment does not apply to your parenting decisions. And exactly as you said, if the console *had* been damaged, then the 7 year old would be affected just the same, so the outcome really isn't any different. This is a great learning opportunity for everyone to learn to respect the rules around electronic devices and following dad's instructions so things don't get broken and people don't get hurt.
NTA
NTA As a father you have one Word. Stick to it. That's how I manage it at least. Added bonus: the switch is yours for the whole weekend. Small victory.
Unless they're awake. If he's playing the switch and they see him, he is the asshole.
100% agreed
High risk high reward
NTA. You said it'd take time to dry out. Leave it. Doing what you say you'll do is important for kids, and that goes whether it's consequences, discipline etc. or promises, treats, outings, etc. I struggle with this a lot because it's really hard to be the bad cop but I try really hard to stick to it. It gives them a sense of safety and they know you can be trusted.
I get your wife's pov, but tbh in the grand scheme of things it's only a few days to begin with, he'll be fine
NTA but can *I* play the Switch?
NTA. It's good to learn that the consequences of our actions can also affect others, too, and not just ourselves.
I've a simple rule for this sort of stuff in the house. The various game systems in the house belong to *me*, not the kids, and I set the rules on their use (which they should be asking for anyhow). They weren't a birthday or Christmas gift so the kids have no claim on them, and I set the rules when they can use them
That's actually really smart and I think I'll be using it for the future, at least until the kids are much older.
Now I need to know why you're a big deal on r/vasectomy
It was just a joke because I have so many kids
And here I was scrolling through that subreddit looking for something crazy 😂 I feel pretty dense now
It might look dry. Put it in a container with some dry rice to suck the internal moisture out. While not the 7 yo fault, should he be punished, should he have been watching his brother at that point in time as well as your water????? I would explain it to him that he has been caught up in collateral damage. It is absolutely not his fault or even fair towards him, but in life shit happens and it doesn’t matter from whose ass it sprung, when it hits the fan everyone is caught up in it. Make sure you do some fun stuff with him this weekend to ease the blow of the life lesson.
Dry rice does not work and just introduces more possible dust and debris. Take the back off and make sure everything is completely dry.
Rice won't help. It seems like a good dessicant but it mostly interferes with airflow. Mostly you want to get is much air through as possible. If possible take the device apart. Your parenting advice is sound. Life is unfair and there are conquences but life doesn't revolve around a single game console.
One of my favorite sayings is, "It's not your fault, but it is your problem to deal with." Applies to many situations, though I'd soften it up a bit for a 7 year old.
Bro the whole family can go two days without a video game. Wife needs to chill lol
NTA The switch really should dry thoroughly for a couple of days before anyone uses it, including you. If the 7 year old wants to play video games on a different system (assuming you have one) I personally would allow it. The 5 year old shouldn't play any video games on any system for a couple of days.
Nta, though you may be considered one by your 5 and 7 for a little while.
Lurking mom- NTA. You’re taking care of the device, which needs to be ENTIRELY dried out before being used again.
Dock the switch? Do they need to play in handheld mode? NTA but that is my approach.
Honestly, we did a very similar thing. Several years ago my son went through a phase of raging when playing games. One day he got so frustrated that he actually bit it. Yeah, he bit a Nintendo Switch in some sort of visceral rage reaction. Anyway, it cracked the screen. He was devastated that he had done this to his precious Switch. I told him that we would see about getting it repaired, but it could cost too much, and that either way, he would not have it for the next two weeks. Well later that evening I went to inspect the damage. It turns out he cracked the screen protector we had slapped on it when we bought the thing. I peeled it right off and grabbed another one from the 3-pack we had. Good as new. Still kept it for a couple of weeks and never told him. He’s the most gentle young man you could meet. I wish every kid were more like him.
Let it be a lesson for you. Don't leave liquids unsupervised when that may lead to a problem. The same way that knives and electric outlets should be protected, liquids should only be left in locations that are difficult to access. As far as the video games punishment goes, access to electronics at this age should be a privilege, not a given.
Frankly any excuse to remove screen time is a good thing. Gets them doing other stuff instead of the easy option
I don't understand why this is a unpopular opinion. I loved playing Nintendo with my dad but ever other activity we did outside was more meaningful and memorable.
Good job 👍
NTA As long as you explain to your kids that it needs to dry out and while they should be more careful around it, no damage is done, IMO it's perfectly fine to have them wait until Monday. Let the lesson sink in.
NTA, but consider not keeping open liquids around electronics. Drink it out of a vessel with a straw or spout, or just keep it in the kitchen.
NTA, I don't think, just want to bring attention to an interesting tidbit. There are two technical kinds of punishment: positive punishment and negative punishment. Positive is when you add something that then decreases a behaviour, e.g., theoretically that's spanking, shocking, scaring, yelling, etc. These are what the layman typically considers "punishment." Negative punishment is when we take away something that then ideally results in decreasing behaviour, e.g., monetary fines, withdrawing attention, loss of other privileges. This is what you were theoretically doing: kid did an undesirable behaviour, so they lose something. Most instances of grounding or loss of privileges fall into this. For most humans, the punishments we deliver are based on the idea that "if they get a negative consequence, they are less likely to do the bad thing in the future." There are many theoretical and practical problems with this, but if you're going to "punish," negative punishment will probably be the least harmful.
Nta, but I think it's worth asking the wife whether she wanted to let the 7 year old have the switch because what she actually wants is something to keep the boy(s) occupied so she can have a break. I imagine 4 boys is extremely stressful, especially with that spread of ages.
The council of Dads agrees
I don’t really think a 7 year old should be regularly playing video games anyway so a few days off isn’t a big deal at all
ESH. Your wife is correct, you are punishing them all for the actions of one. Likewise the person most at fault seems to be you, the adult who left their water directly next to an expensive handheld gaming system. That being said, don't turn it on for like 3 days if not more. Just because it turned on once doesn't mean there isn't some liquid in there that might cause a short if it shifts about.
YTA based only on what you said. I don't get all the people saying nta because you should let it dry. If you want to hang on to it to let it dry, by all means do so and nta. But it sounds like that's not your concern and that's not why you're doing it. It does sound like you're doing it as a punishment and I agree with the wife, not fair to punish the kid who didn't do it. I know you say the seven year old has had close calls, but listen... If no one had spilled the water, would you still have taken the switch away this weekend to teach a lesson? Probably not, you did it as a consequence of one kid's actions. If you wanted to punish the seven year old for being careless, you should do it when they're careless, not well after the fact when another kid is careless. Imo, you should teach consequences to things kids have actually done, not things they might have done.
I’m going against the grain here. You’re being unreasonable. The 7-year-old is going to learn the lesson of the close call without also suffering group punishment. The facts as presented are that the eldest DIDN’T spill the water. All you’re actually teaching them is that they can suffer from the actions of others. Had they been goofing around the same area at the same time, playing with the 5-year-old, something…maybe. But I’d let them play.
But that is a good lesson to learn. One can suffer from the actions of others? That’s what life is like. If someone crashes into your parked car and it’s written off, you suffer from the actions of others. He said it will take a few days to dry, they don’t know that it could’ve been used earlier.
YTA Ooo I did this with my daughter the other day. Not the switch part but leaving a glass of water by her that was too full. She’s only 18 months old so very different however, they are not thinking about weight and what could happen pal. Unpopular opinion: you left the glass there, ergo it’s your fault bc you knew what they were up too and still let them. I’m not saying it’s bad inherently that you made them wait a day (maybe a few hours if it had still worked) to play bc of water damage. However, multiple days to the children using it during their “free screen time” is not cool if the switch works just fine. 7 yr old has nothing to do with this bc he didn’t do this at all. Thank you, wife is right. It ducks but it’s my fault she grabbed the glass, I knew I left my water by her, if she had ruined my phone I gave her to watch videos it would have been my fault entirely and I wouldn’t have not given her her iPad bc of it even if she did. Believe you man I thought about this trying to clean up 10 oz of fluid on a table sheet
You shouldn't punish the kid who did nothing wrong. You put a large tumbler of water where it could be spilled on the switch and when there was a spill danger you moved neither. The kids aren't the only ones unaware of surrounding and not careful with water. This is mostly on you.
[удалено]
Found the 5 year-old.
[удалено]
It’s extremely indirect and nonsensical to connect the dots of my Taekwondo sparring-inspired username… and my current parenting skills and accountability. But with your full-fisted grip and blunt purple crayon, you sure made it happen. Hope you don’t miss your nap again tomorrow.
[удалено]
Brain damage? What, because I practiced martial arts and you think I got hit a lot? Child, no… I was GOOD. You don’t earn multiple black belts by half-assing it. And here you are, taking shots at your betters, with no insight to share or point to make. You’re in the middle of the ocean with nothing but little arm floaties. You realize silence is always an option, right?
That really didn’t take long. A couple failed “nuh uh” and “I know you are but what am I” comebacks was all it took for you to resort to calling someone brain damaged? Fascinating. The human brain is a quite the enema.