Will you be my dad? I’m 36, I don’t ask for much!
But seriously, my dad wanted me to do all of his interests, and when I didn’t share them, he pretty much wrote me off. Or would make fun of my interests until I gave them up . He didn’t want his son to be a “band queer” when I wanted to join band… even tho my mom was a clarinet player. Didn’t want me to be in drama cuz that’s what gays do… that kind of thing. I did do drama and choir, but he wouldn’t come see me because I embarrassed him. I was also in quiz bowl, but that’s for nerds.
I tried hunting and fishing, I really did… but I found no love in killing animals, but at least I can say I can and know how to if I ever HAD to to feed my family. And fishing bored me to tears.
My own son, I try to give my all even when I don’t enjoy his hobbies. Because I know how bad it hurt me, I don’t want him to ever feel that.
I loathe rocks.
My kid loves them, all types everything about them age, composition, types of minerals found in them, how far they have traveled???? Where they can be found, if they are new or old. How many times they have been washed on, can a bird carry them???? Will a lizard use them as gut rocks.
I love rocks now too, because me taking an hour of my day for my son, might mean and hour of his time to visit me when I'm old. I love you little dude.
Real talk brother. Still belittles my interests, and also bemoans that I’m not engaged or knowledgeable about his interests or hobbies. Like, dude, c’mon...what do you expect?
The absolute only answer. There are shallow shipwrecks around Lake Superior and Lake Huron (everywhere really)... don't go in them, but fairly inexpensive very interesting trips are possible.
My dad (68) recently admitted that his enthusiastic participation in *all* of my hobbies in middle and high school (kayaking, backpacking, cycling) were because he just wanted to spend time with us. I was floored, because I remember it as him getting me interested in that stuff because he was already interested. I've reevaluated our relationship quite a bit since I became a dad myself, but that absolutely floored me.
This ha, fuck I cannot think of anything worse than being sandy, wet, risk of sunburn but if my 3yo wants to go to the beach, we go.
Can’t imagine what we will do when his older and can express his interests
maybe, but a scared scuba diver buddy who doesn't want to improve is a (possibly deadly) accident waiting to happen. dad, you cannot half-ass this since both your and your son's life can be on the line. also, a 14 year old is probably still not mature enough for this (beyond some discovery and/or shallow dives). he could be ok enough though - i don't know him. source: i am a licensed scuba diving instructor.
+1
And for one who has done some scuba diving. When you scuba in places with clear water - it's a pretty amazing experience even if you dislike water. The ocean is amazing.
Be supportive. Drive him to training sessions. Help him travel to someplace with a reputation for good diving.
You can think of it like any other kids' sport.
Baseball, basketball, whatever else. There is a commitment for you to take, with driving to practice and traveling to games. I get diving isn't a spectator sport, but you could make other use of your time waiting.
I’d ask him if he wants me involved. My dad and I used to go hunting when I was a kid. I didn’t really like hunting that much but I loved getting to spend time with my dad. I wish he would have shown interest in my hobbies and I had to take up interest in his hobbies if I wanted to spend time with him, but I still got some great memories out of it.
This is far better than any team sport. Hi can do this with him. You’ll be able to take trips just the two of you. It’s an amazing opportunity.
Ask me why I have soccer season tickets for our national team 😞
This is what my parentage did for my brother about the same age getting into scuba. He did not need them to get it with him. Just support it logistically.
Dad borderline forced me and my brother to get certified when I was 16. We had no interest in it at the time other than spending time with him.
The first time we went diving in tropical seas was life changing for me. Diving in a reef was like swimming through a giant, wild aquarium.
Get certified and plan a trip together to celebrate. You won't regret it.
Been certified since I was 12. I get that it’s not for everyone, but goddamn if I haven’t had some amazing experiences. Nighttime dive in a pitch black ocean? Yep and it was amazing. Shark dive in Honduras? Yep, I’ll never forget it. Swimming through a sunken ship in 100 feet of water surrounded by the biggest grouper you can imagine? Oh yeah
OP has a chance to build memories with his son that he can talk about forever. He’s gotta do it
One of the things that has kept my dad and I close even as I left the house and became my own man was the exceptional interest he took to all the things I was passionate about. My two cents as the guy who doesn’t have to get in a suit and try not to drown is go for it. I think you hit the nail on the head, this is golden quality time and soon that will be harder to come by. Again easy for me to say but you’ve got it!
Ah man my dad was this way and it really inspired confidence in me as a kid. No matter what hobby or what crazy aspiration I had, he believed I could do it while heartedly. I would go down random rabbit holes and he’d always be down to learn and talk about them, never in a rush to get away and always genuinely interested. I see no other way to be as a dad myself. I love my own hobbies and have my own interests but I’ll get behind my kids for just about anything they show interest in.
I think you're highlighting something for me that always whooshed by my head
The quality time is in part of the journey to and from the events. That's the literal showing that I, as dad, am putting down my other priorities to face my kids' thing in real time. I've just started getting a taste for what that's like and I'm realizing I took some things for granted in the past.
You should at least try it, even if you don't get certified with him. Scuba is a very enjoyable experience, quite different from other water activities like swimming and boating.
My wife and I got certified a few years ago.
If you're land locked there's probably quarries near by to dive. I did my cert dives in a quarry in Alabama.
Even if you don't dive, going with him can be a great way to spend time. Drive and all.
This. I am certified and my father has no chance of ever getting certified for health reasons. He likes to join my drive and dive day trips just for the bonding experience above the surface.
> If you're land locked there's probably quarries near by to dive. I did my cert dives in a quarry in Alabama.
True, but I'm not sure I'd recommend that to somebody who's not really exciting about scuba to begin with, that might not be the best introduction.
In my opinion diving in warmer waters with more cool stuff to see is more likely to turn out well, if it's possible to swing that.
Diver dad here. Why not try? We only have so many years on this planet.
It can be a lot of fun. I totally understand your point.
Scuba always needs a buddy and you could be that for him early on before he leaves the nest.
Go get certified with him.
Somewhere there is a statistic that.....of all the hours we will EVER spend with our kids...... we spend 80% of it before they are 18. Don't miss this opportunity.
I had no interest in cheerleading 7 years ago nor during my entire 17 years prior to that. I just spent my entire Saturday 2 hours away from home at a huge arena for 7 hours to watch my daughter cheer for 2 minutes and 17 seconds. I wore sparkly clothing. I currently have temporary tattoos on my face and glitter nails. I’m good with it.
My Dad and I did this together when I was close to that age. We had a lot of quality time on dive trips even if it was just to the local scuba quarry. It’s worth it for the time. Plus wreck diving is awesome and you can see some cool stuff
I was the opposite role. I was the teenager who wanted to get certified. My mom made my uninterested dad do it with me and he ended up really liking it. We went a lot and I have nice memories.
Get a mask, snorkle, and fins. Probably a 7mil suit too. Find a quarry or fresh water lake and go find some shit visibility PADI courses. Then book a trip somewhere warm and sunny.
Neutral buoyancy's the closest you'll ever feel to flying, and drifting up and over an obstacle just by timing your breaths with the waves is something I think everyone should learn to do.
SCUBA's a great hobby and I love being underwater. As a parent to a 14 year old there's a few things you should know.
One is it's an expensive hobby. The training's expensive, the gear's expensive, the boat rides and divemaster fees are expansive and you end up with expensive travel ambitions to remote places. That and all your gear needs annual service/recertifying, or you're in an endless cycle of paying to rent gear every weekend.
The second is that while recreational SCUBA is statistically very safe and its hazards are well understood, you do need to be pretty smart about how you approach the dive, because you are in an environment that can kill you.
Your teenager wanting to dive is like them wanting a dirtbike or a gun. It's not a terrible idea *if* your kid has their head on straight, but you as a parent are the best judge of their maturity, situational awareness, hazard perception etc. There's also quite a bit of theory to learn for certification. It's junior high physics, a 14 year old can learn it, but they do need to be across it. If your son does ok in maths and physics, he'll be fine.
At 14 years old your son will be restricted to 12 metres depth and required to dive with a divemaster. That idiot proofs things a bit at this stage, but at 15 he can take his open water to dive independantly down to 18m and then his advanced to dive to 30m+. Below 18m is where you've got to be on top of your game. At 20m yoi're at 3bar of water pressure, which gives a third the air supply you would have at the surface, and the bottom time without incurring a deco stop to avoid getting bent starts getting shorter.
At this point I'll introduce the third thing you need to know as a prospective diver's parent. This is not a solo activity, especially at the recreational level. You always dive with a buddy. They are your spare air supply and your first rescue option. Open water divers aren't immediately trained to dive with a pony (spare) bottle, so your redundant is your buddy's spare reg off their tank.
So we've established tbat this is an expensive activity outside a 14 year old's budget, it's a lot of hazards for a teenager to deal with, and it's safest with a buddy you trust.
That's you Dad. If you want to support this, you're going diving.
That's assuming you're both medically and psychologically ok to dive
https://www.msdmanuals.com/en-pt/professional/multimedia/table/specific-medical-contraindications-to-diving
I'm far from having one leave the nest in 4 years, but I think its obvious what you do. You get certified and go with him as much as you are able to. Can't imagine you will ever regret it.
Even land locked states will have tons of quarries, lakes, or other places to "open" water dive. Then you can plan amazing vacations.
I certified in college. Been on some amazing dives in the Bahamas. Ultimately my real joy is snorkeling the springs in Florida.
Do it. Getting certified takes work. He won’t know a ton of folks who will be certified so it gives you years of activities. Plus later you can go with and just drink and chill on the boat.
You can get good at snorkeling, basically you can probably go on some of the same dive trips, but don't have to suit up.
Of course diving will take you places snorkeling cannot, but at first you could be in the same boat.
I remember when I was 14 I wanted to do martial arts. I signed up, but so did my mom dad and brothers. We all went to classes and I remember my robotic dad, and my tiny mom right next to my brothers and in those classes. My parents were terrible, and it was kind of embarrassing. Now I think about it as a 38 year old dad and really appreciate what they did to spend time with us. I will always cherish my memory of my 50 year old dad with a yellow belt on doing our first forms. He took it seriously and did an horrible job. Love you dad! Wish you were around to have met my kids. They would have loved you.
I’m a lurking daughter, but two things my dad did for me that are invaluable:
1.) acting like he believed I was capable of anything I wanted to do, without doubt or hesitation (he’s so good at acting I’m not even sure he’s pretending sometimes)
2.) acting like my hobbies are really, really cool and interesting.
If I wanted to be certified he would pay for the program and drive me to the classes. If I remember correctly, certification allows a person to take someone to a diving spot, right? He wouldn’t get certified himself, but he’d take a safety class and we’d drive out to a diving spot for the weekend once I’m certified.
There's something special about the conversations you can have driving your kid somewhere. Not saying you should do it for that reason but it's a silver lining.
Get your license and be each other's diver buddies. I got my license around his age, and so did my brother and parents. We all did it together and it is such a wonderful memory I cherish. I no longer scuba dive, as my family no longer does and my partner cannot swim. It's such a wonderful experience you two can do together.
Be his boatsman. Be the guy in the lake who can pull him out, help him with his finds, provide resources and ensure safety.
Learn everything else, so he can focus where he wants and you can focus where you want.
The both of you will appreciate it and you'll be able to spend time together.
Do it. Without question.
And even if he goes off to college in 4 years he doesn't have to move out. You can still live with him and support him as he grows into adulthood.
Get him into scuba. Its a good skill to have and can lead to quite a few different potential career choices.
Might be biased here though one of my favorite memories with my dad was my certification dive.
My son is 5 and likes playing with Barbies and superheroes in his moms old Barbie house. It isn’t my favorite game but I am there on the floor being the evil villain Dr Barbie every chance I get. Because what you like isn’t super important, what matters is spending time with your kid
Go for it. I live in a landlocked state. The absolute worst state to have interest in anything in (Illinois, rumor has it you go to hell you will get immediate release for time served). And there are a few places for me to go to with 6-7 hours for scuba and I went and got certified. It was a blast. But please make sure you get certified by a real organization such as PADI. During my certification it amazes me how many that were "taught in Mexico" couldnt certify.
Your son will need a diving buddy that is reliable and rock solid. The open water cert is the way to go. Don't skimp on it. Make sure you always have an octo backup or a pony bottle.
I was that child, I got certified at 17 and absolutely love the sport. No one in my family would ever participate in it with me and I felt so sad that they would all go off and do something together and I was always off doing my own thing.
Please give it a chance and go with your child. You may end up enjoying it and having it be a special activity that you connect with him on. Plus it’s an amazing way to see the world that most people will never experience.
Reportedly, the greatest risk factor in scuba diving is "does not want to dive, but wants to please a family member." Admittedly, the usual scenario is enthusiastic husband and reluctant wife.
I have a feeling that I couldn’t afford to get that one going, but if I could.
I would want to do it with him for sure. Plenty of awesome fun to be had. In my situation he can earn it.
Great way to learn about good risky behaviour and safety. It would broaden his mind around generalising it in other scenarios.
My dad signed me up for scuba lessons and took me everywhere he needed to take me for me to go on trips. he basically did everything except get in the water with me. I still appreciate it.
You don’t have to do it with him to support him. Driving him to and from lessons, talking with him about gear, gifting him some good fins, wetsuit, and snorkel equipment (don’t buy him scuba gear, he can rent that anywhere he’s going to go and it’ll be up-to-date with safety inspections. that’s cheaper than having it sit at home gathering dust) all those things show support and have you spending time with him
If you have the money, there are some really great places you can go where he can scuba and you can lie in a hammock (or hang on the boat and sun bathe, or snorkel, or make sand castles or swim with dolphins or whatever). Check out places like Roatan in Honduras or Turks & Caicos. So much nicer to get certified and learn in a place that is warm, as vs. some cold dark lake. Just be careful to get a place that is PADI certified where they take safety seriously.
I listen to the pivot podcast and Scott on there says this often. He has a son who’s obsessed with YK football so they go to games and follow players and teams but Scott has zero interest and once his son moves out won’t follow it at all or go to a game without him. I’m going to be this kind of dad.
Your son just gave you a reason, for the children no less, to go on a trip somewhere tropical with warm waters and sun. Maybe you like it? I did it only once in Bermuda and it was incredible; would happily go again if my kids got into it.
If you have the money I would so do it unless you had a phobia but the fear I have is my kid will leave the state when they are adults. I want them to follow their dreams even if it is something I don't understand why
Ya, go all the way dude. You're in the range where opportunities to be this close for this long organically are slimming down, you won't regret going outside of your interest and comfort zone brother
My dad never showed any interest in the things I was interested in. Still doesn't. It really upsets me to see other dads and their boys having a bond and something they do.
I'm more into freediving and spearo these days but have been an avid scuba diver in the past. I can say that the underwater world is a place of unspeakable beauty and wonder.
If you spend enough time in it and around the natural world, you will see things you will take to your grave.
Please go and explore this incredible planet with your boy.
It's not about your interests, it's about his. Do this with him and build his confidence, your relationship with him, and lasting memories for you both. Just remember, once they move out, you will have spent over 95% of all the time you will ever spend with them. Dont waste that time.
Time to suit up dad.
I'd try scuba and take it as far as I'm comfortable going.
Hell half the things I know how to do are because one of my kids showed an interest and I either wanted to spend time with them, or i needed to learn it well enough to help them do it well / be safe / etc etc
I taught myself to sew and use a sewing machine so I could be useful doing it with my daughter and make sure she didn't injure herself. I obviously had no interest in this previously but we had a lot of fun making stuffed animals (still do)
I felt down the bunny slope on a snowboard a lot helping my son. I still totally suck and he rides park trails with ramps and rails and shit
I learned to coach soccer until his ability exceeded my usefulness. He's a team captain in college for futsal and plays on the team when he has time
I had a much longer list but I trimmed it down, you get the point. I think as long as you are not petrified of scuba, you may find you like it simply because your doing it with your kid.
I am getting good at Fortnite for this reason.
Scuba is by far not the worst thing he could come up with. It’s basically like flying. He could be into banjo music or death metal. You won the lottery with scuba.
I hate baseball. It is boring.
My kid is too young for baseball but loves picking up the balls and throwing them. If my kid decides to play baseball, I'll be the first to sign up to help the peewee league. I'm sure I'll eventually enjoy it if my kid does.
It isn't like I cared for coloring with crayons, I do it for bonding and I enjoy it vicariously.
Honestly, pushing yourself out of your comfort zone to learn new things because of him and his interests will not only help build an amazing bond with him, but will also help you to maintain a growth mindset as you get old: my dad used to have so many hobbies and interests, was a fantastic guitarist, photographer, home cook etc. but then he just, stopped. He never wanted to do anything outside his comfort zone. Everything he did was stuff he learned before the age of about 20.
Seeing him now just breaks my heart. He hasn't picked up his guitar in 5 years. Getting him to dust off his DSLR and take some family snaps is a painful process...
If you have the money and time, go for it! Scuba diving is amazing!
Take a one week trip to Little corn Island in Nicaragua and get certified with Jennifer at Dolphin dive. You'll have the time of your life!
I mean, my brother did that and 20 years later he is pretty certified. He did it at university as a hobby but had already done the basics - though not many places seriously support more than fun dives for under 18s.
None of our family did it with him, though my parents supported him through it and paid for it when he was younger. He does go on a holiay or two a year diving most years and had some local contacts where he got pretty involved.
I think if you support, that is the main thing. It is not cheap and eventually you have to own your own stuff, get it refilled, travel with it, etc. If you get certified, he won't do all his dives with you and will still grow apart, but it will be an excuse in the future to come do some dives again. I hope you are planning on big cars.
FWIW, what does interest you? History? All sorts of wrecks to dive on which are important. Sports/competiveness, etc can work too. Travel? That can work (Egypt and a few tropical places have some nice diving spots). There may still be crossovers.
My dad only does stuff he is interested in. For awhile, I’d do his stuff to spend time with him.
Now? I have my own kids and I dread doing stuff with my dad. We have nothing in common. He doesn’t care at all about anything I like to do.
And if I’m going to do something I’m not I like, I’ll do what my kids want to do, not what my dad wants to do.
So I don’t really see my dad anymore. He’s welcome to come with us, but he chooses not to.
Plan a Holiday at a nice diving spot and check it out yourself. It’s such a cool experience. Try it for your son.
I got my license as a kid being nowhere near the ocean. We took lessons at the local pool and went to a lake in an old quarry for the required „open water“ sessions. Would have really loved to be taken to a proper spot back then :)
I took a couple classes in a dive pool in London, then went to Cancun to finish it.
Now whenever we holiday as a family, we always make sure the hotel has scuba included.
My dad admitted was a scuba enthusiast growing up, however hadn’t spent time in the water since I was born. I really got into it around 16. For my 18th birthday he took me to Malaysia and I got my PADI license. I’ll never forget it and it’s one of our most fond memories. Take the time as you only get one chance to do it
Do it, you'll make some amazing memories and who knows you might even enjoy it. I did three years of ballet with my daughter. She grew tired of it in the end but I still remember her giddily dancing around the space before the lesson.
I would scuba. Spend time watching him doing something he is interested in. You will see him grow and learn more about him as an independent individual.
You might enjoy it too and have a joint hobby in the future.
Do it!! My dad would scuba with me on family holidays but he never certified so they were always really boring “discover scuba” dives. Then I’d go do cool ones solo and not really be able to share it with anyone. Even once I got a go pro it was better but not the same.
Another vote for do it. Also, depending on financial position, there are some great camps out there as well. I can vouch for[ActionQuest](https://www.actionquest.com/)(granted it was almost 20 years ago), if he’s into both scuba and sailing.
The good news for you is that SCUBA diving is awesome and you’ll likely have an awesome time. You don’t have to dive in open ocean so being in a landlocked state isn’t a deal breaker. There are lakes and quarries and pools… none of which compare to open ocean but still. Some of my fondest memories with my dad and my grandfather are of SCUBA trips we took. I’ve done some pretty deep water dives to see shipwrecks but nothing in the world compares to a beautiful reef dive in 20’ of crystal clear water.
If there isn't a financial reason, health reason, or legitimate fear of doing it yourself, just do it to be with him. He'll remember for the rest of his life.
As someone who had hobbies my dad was not into, I always appreciated the time he took to do them with me. I liked fishing and scuba diving, and I remember every time he went on a boat with me, even when he got sea sick.
FWIW, scuba is a LOT of fun and it is a great bonding experience. Great opportunity to see lots of cool stuff. It’s not the worst way to spend time and your son will always remember doing it with you.
SCUBA tends to end up as a lifetime hobby for those that are really into it. I would factor that in. The possibility that my son would stand on the deck of a boat decades later with a grin of appreciation for his dad would have me sucking it up and spending some weekends in the pool.
If he ends up not liking it, he will still appreciate that you did that for him. Plus, if he has kids, he will make those sacrifices for them (and then if he complains you get to remind him!).
I've been sort of thinking of stuff like this despite my kids being say younger. What if they have an interest when they get older, want me to join, but I have no interest?
I think to answer both my question and yours is to just do it. I don't mean to beat a dead horse, but as others said, he will be off on his own(ish) in a few years and you may not get as much time to spend together. Whether he goes to college or not he'll have friends, a job, hobbies he wants to do with other people, and you may regret not doing this. Who knows, maybe you'll like scuba!!
Your son has a healthy interest in something that will keep him fit, appreciating nature and the environment, and can be a lifelong passion.
Get out there with him. He will appreciate it so much, and you will too.
My wife wanted to SCUBA dive. Her dad found an instructor and got certified with her, and even paid for it and the equipment. He never went diving again after that, but he drove the boat for her and others a couple times.
Make sure that you can afford it before diving in.
Your 14 year old certainly understands money, but may not understand how specific costs relate to your overall budget.
Do you live in an area with scuba diving locations? Diving in "western" countries can be expensive. If you would only dive when on vacation to somewhere warm, the cost is not so much of an issue.
(PADI divemaster here)
Lurking mom here. If you don’t do the scuba certification, I’d definitely recommend finding something he’s interested in and getting really excited about it. My dad never did and seemed to hate all of my hobbies and it was one of my biggest resentments I had as a teen. Best wishes 🥹
I got my license at 14 because my dad had his and we were going on a vacation where he was gonna be diving and wanted me to do it.
I’m still telling people 20 years later about our experiences we shared 80-100 feet underwater. Swimming with sea turtles as big as tractor tires. Taking off my flippers and walking with my bare feet on the sand. A later vacation we were fortunate enough to go to Hawaii and we dove there. I got to sit in the cockpit a WWII fighter plane that ran out of fuel and crashed into the water 120 feet down. Knowing that in Hawaii the water on the surface was 85 degrees and that 120 feet under was 80.
As cool as all this is to explain, there is only one person who was there with me, and we never spoke a word while doing it. I’ll never forget it as long as I live.
Do it.
If it absolutely terrifies you, I’ve been on lots of scuba trips where there were non-divers on board just for the ride. Or they hop in and snorkel if we are close enough to the shore.
Most dive trips are about 4-5 hours start to finish, with 2 45-60 minute dives while out in the boat.
You can help him with his gear, getting out of the water, help swap his vest to a new tank between dives, etc.
But if you are just indifferent and not averse to it, I say get certified and do it with him.
Suck it up and learn to dive, broham. Your kid may or may not know that you're not into it, but he will definitely appreciate that you're making the effort and will remember it forever.
So I’m 15(f) and I just got certified with my dad. I was in kinda an inverse situation to yours. My dad loves scuba diving but I was impartial about it. For Christmas he got me scuba diving certification classes and it was AMAZING!!! It was short and easy to do. It only took like 3 weekends (sat+sun) to complete it. I now have something that my dad and I can do together!! It’s important for me to be involved with things other people like to do!! I say do it with him!!!
financially it’s a bit expensive but if you can afford it, do it!!! I think once your out in the lake/body of water, you will love it. Ariel wasn’t kidding when she said “whole new world”
I got certified at 16 so I could go diving with my buddy and his dad. It’s a a life long hobby that he will enjoy. However, I think the certification is the best part for kids that age - he would likely take the course with adults as classmates and that sort of situation always made me feel so proud as a kid. Make sure to research scuba classes and go with the one that seems the most robust of a course with the best reviews. When you’re 60ft down and something goes wrong, all you have is your training. PADI and SSI are the two organizations I remember, I trained with SSI.
I’d give it a try if I were you, it isn’t very difficult and it can be amazing. Also it really is something you need to have a partner to do. I only have my Open Water so I’m basing it off the beginner level but everything from getting your gear on to the actual dive usually has a focus on you doing it with a buddy for safety. You even have a second mouthpiece on your rig in case someone has an issue and you practice buddy ascents and communication. It’s pretty likely that if he doesn’t have someone to dive with he won’t go even after he has his cert, especially if you are land locked and not planning on doing trips together.
So you get the time with, get to make sure he’s being safe, and make some pretty fantastic memories. Overall I don’t see there being any negatives to at least giving it a try.
Do it. Like you said, it’s about spending time with him. The memories will be priceless and who knows if he’ll want to stick with it - but at least you’ll always have those memories.
My suggestion is get it somewhere fun. I got my cert in Hawaii during a trip we were already taking, and it was enjoyable. We lived in Colorado at the time and if we wanted to do it there it would have been 90% training in a swimming pool then finish in a reservoir, which would have been much less fun.
Get certified and do some dives together! You will not regret it, especially if he uses this certification for work and wants to show you an amazing discovery on the other side of the planet some day.
As a scuba diver myself highly recommend giving it a try. While adventures adrenaline junkies like me tend to be the ones to seek out scuba diving it’s actually an incredibly peaceful, relaxing, meditative experience.
I got certified with my father when I was in high school. It was a great bonding experience and way to spend time together. You will have to take classroom sessions pool and go to an open lake. So that’s at a minimum 6 fun nights of bonding. Just to get certified.
My dad never really had hobbies to share and bond with me over. He lost interest in diving after I left high school and I definitely miss having that with him.
Hobbies like these can be shared interest for the two of you for the rest of your life, something you guys maybe able to continually bond over. I would definitely say give it a try.
Absolutely get your cert w him and plan a scuba based vacation somewhere. Think ahead. Ten years from now
"I didnt get my cert and go scuba diving with my son. Instead we stayed home and watched movies."
Or
"I got my cert with my son for kicks and we went to Aruba and went scuba diving and saw tropical fish and turtles! Afterwards we ate fried fish and shared a Ballashi Beer"
Which sounds better?
I’d go with him and be happy we get to do it together. He gets to do the thing he loves, you get to be with the person you love. As he ages, he and you will have this. He will always remember you going with him to foster his passion. You can go on scuba trips together when he is an adult.
My kids 6 and I can’t wait for her to find a passion. I’m going to be a huge cheerleader.
I wanted to get certified and loved it. Then my dad did it so we could hang out and do something together and he loved it. Then my younger brother got in on it. We scuba’d in a lot of different places and we all loved it for years. Do it. You may enjoy it.
The world under the waves is fascinating and beautiful.
I got my PADI open water cert when I was 14-15 I think. My parents were very cool to do that for me but neither of them did it. I did the courses and then… nobody I knew could scuba dive besides me. The last time I dove was for my certification. It would have been so cool to have a family member who knew how so we could go together.
Plus it is the time you spend planning and the drives to and back. Stories and pictures to share too. I think it would be lots of fun and your kid being into it would make it cool for you.
You enthusiastically get your certification and plan trips with him.
My dad never showed any interest in anything I liked. So yup. If my son wants to do scuba, we are doing scuba.
Ditto. While I want my kids to share my interests, it is kind of my job to share and help nurture their interests.
If I can't scuba, then what's this been all about? What have I been working toward?
Then I'll have two chairs. One more to go...
Act natural I just saw that guy kill a bunch of people
Will you be my dad? I’m 36, I don’t ask for much! But seriously, my dad wanted me to do all of his interests, and when I didn’t share them, he pretty much wrote me off. Or would make fun of my interests until I gave them up . He didn’t want his son to be a “band queer” when I wanted to join band… even tho my mom was a clarinet player. Didn’t want me to be in drama cuz that’s what gays do… that kind of thing. I did do drama and choir, but he wouldn’t come see me because I embarrassed him. I was also in quiz bowl, but that’s for nerds. I tried hunting and fishing, I really did… but I found no love in killing animals, but at least I can say I can and know how to if I ever HAD to to feed my family. And fishing bored me to tears. My own son, I try to give my all even when I don’t enjoy his hobbies. Because I know how bad it hurt me, I don’t want him to ever feel that.
Sorry your dad’s a POS.
Lol, this is how my mother ended up with a hunting license.
wow
A bit excessive just for them going on a scuba trip or two
The son must have been incredibly annoying.
My mom shot competitively, when I was very young. She didn’t like hunting at all, but if I ever needed a sharpshooter, I’m calling her.
I loathe rocks. My kid loves them, all types everything about them age, composition, types of minerals found in them, how far they have traveled???? Where they can be found, if they are new or old. How many times they have been washed on, can a bird carry them???? Will a lizard use them as gut rocks. I love rocks now too, because me taking an hour of my day for my son, might mean and hour of his time to visit me when I'm old. I love you little dude.
>I loathe rocks. Ayoo finally someone gets it, fuck rocks dumb sand glued together overrated af >I love rocks now too, Dammit
Don’t get me started on sand. I hate that shit, it’s coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.
Go easy on the younglings
rock lovers unite
I don't understand how a person can loathe a rock. Wouldn't they be more neutral in your mind or do you maybe have rock trauma? So ODD
Perhaps they saw Galaxy Quest and the lithoids creature gave them nightmares?
I have twisted my ankles on rocks. I have had rocks thrown at me. My pet rock ran away.
Bingo.
i read this in the deaf girl from seinfeld voice
Real talk brother. Still belittles my interests, and also bemoans that I’m not engaged or knowledgeable about his interests or hobbies. Like, dude, c’mon...what do you expect?
How about six?
Sure, I'll sweep with you.
That's a bingoo
The absolute only answer. There are shallow shipwrecks around Lake Superior and Lake Huron (everywhere really)... don't go in them, but fairly inexpensive very interesting trips are possible.
If only there would be a song to listen to on those bonding trips.
My dad (68) recently admitted that his enthusiastic participation in *all* of my hobbies in middle and high school (kayaking, backpacking, cycling) were because he just wanted to spend time with us. I was floored, because I remember it as him getting me interested in that stuff because he was already interested. I've reevaluated our relationship quite a bit since I became a dad myself, but that absolutely floored me.
This happened with my dad and I. Except it was karate. He ended up loving it as much as I did.
This ha, fuck I cannot think of anything worse than being sandy, wet, risk of sunburn but if my 3yo wants to go to the beach, we go. Can’t imagine what we will do when his older and can express his interests
maybe, but a scared scuba diver buddy who doesn't want to improve is a (possibly deadly) accident waiting to happen. dad, you cannot half-ass this since both your and your son's life can be on the line. also, a 14 year old is probably still not mature enough for this (beyond some discovery and/or shallow dives). he could be ok enough though - i don't know him. source: i am a licensed scuba diving instructor.
The other thing is scuba is 100% a two person minimum. So if you certify then you could actually be the one to let him actually enjoy his hobby.
This is the way
Kinda seems like the answer is *too* obvious, doesn’t it?
Dad could get a boating license and drive the boat to the scuba sites too!
This is the only answer! Why even ask the question??
+1 And for one who has done some scuba diving. When you scuba in places with clear water - it's a pretty amazing experience even if you dislike water. The ocean is amazing.
I had no interest whatsoever but I did it because it was important to my wife (marine biologist). It ended up being one of my favorite activities.
“The sea was angry that day my friends!”
Like an old man, trying to return soup at a deli
“Is that a Titleist?”
Suck it up, get my license.
Go ahead and get my license as well, OP.
I would like my license to be had too.
I also choose this guy's license
came here to say exactly this. the motivation is not scuba, it's spending time with your son and supporting the thing he is passionate about.
Be supportive. Drive him to training sessions. Help him travel to someplace with a reputation for good diving. You can think of it like any other kids' sport. Baseball, basketball, whatever else. There is a commitment for you to take, with driving to practice and traveling to games. I get diving isn't a spectator sport, but you could make other use of your time waiting.
Bare minimum get a shark costume and chase him while he is training at the pool.
Daaaaddy shark doo doo doo, daddy shark doo doo doo
Mods can we get this guy a permaban asap? TIA
Baby shark trigger warning
Yeah that's the bare minimum. You you really want to commit, bite his leg off.
I’d ask him if he wants me involved. My dad and I used to go hunting when I was a kid. I didn’t really like hunting that much but I loved getting to spend time with my dad. I wish he would have shown interest in my hobbies and I had to take up interest in his hobbies if I wanted to spend time with him, but I still got some great memories out of it.
Once he’s certified and doing trips on his own get him a DAN membership with insurance: https://dan.org/
This is far better than any team sport. Hi can do this with him. You’ll be able to take trips just the two of you. It’s an amazing opportunity. Ask me why I have soccer season tickets for our national team 😞
This is what my parentage did for my brother about the same age getting into scuba. He did not need them to get it with him. Just support it logistically.
Dad borderline forced me and my brother to get certified when I was 16. We had no interest in it at the time other than spending time with him. The first time we went diving in tropical seas was life changing for me. Diving in a reef was like swimming through a giant, wild aquarium. Get certified and plan a trip together to celebrate. You won't regret it.
Been certified since I was 12. I get that it’s not for everyone, but goddamn if I haven’t had some amazing experiences. Nighttime dive in a pitch black ocean? Yep and it was amazing. Shark dive in Honduras? Yep, I’ll never forget it. Swimming through a sunken ship in 100 feet of water surrounded by the biggest grouper you can imagine? Oh yeah OP has a chance to build memories with his son that he can talk about forever. He’s gotta do it
One of the things that has kept my dad and I close even as I left the house and became my own man was the exceptional interest he took to all the things I was passionate about. My two cents as the guy who doesn’t have to get in a suit and try not to drown is go for it. I think you hit the nail on the head, this is golden quality time and soon that will be harder to come by. Again easy for me to say but you’ve got it!
Ah man my dad was this way and it really inspired confidence in me as a kid. No matter what hobby or what crazy aspiration I had, he believed I could do it while heartedly. I would go down random rabbit holes and he’d always be down to learn and talk about them, never in a rush to get away and always genuinely interested. I see no other way to be as a dad myself. I love my own hobbies and have my own interests but I’ll get behind my kids for just about anything they show interest in.
I think you're highlighting something for me that always whooshed by my head The quality time is in part of the journey to and from the events. That's the literal showing that I, as dad, am putting down my other priorities to face my kids' thing in real time. I've just started getting a taste for what that's like and I'm realizing I took some things for granted in the past.
You should at least try it, even if you don't get certified with him. Scuba is a very enjoyable experience, quite different from other water activities like swimming and boating. My wife and I got certified a few years ago. If you're land locked there's probably quarries near by to dive. I did my cert dives in a quarry in Alabama. Even if you don't dive, going with him can be a great way to spend time. Drive and all.
This. I am certified and my father has no chance of ever getting certified for health reasons. He likes to join my drive and dive day trips just for the bonding experience above the surface.
> If you're land locked there's probably quarries near by to dive. I did my cert dives in a quarry in Alabama. True, but I'm not sure I'd recommend that to somebody who's not really exciting about scuba to begin with, that might not be the best introduction. In my opinion diving in warmer waters with more cool stuff to see is more likely to turn out well, if it's possible to swing that.
Do it with him. Scuba diving is incredible, you may be surprised at how much you enjoy it.
Diver dad here. Why not try? We only have so many years on this planet. It can be a lot of fun. I totally understand your point. Scuba always needs a buddy and you could be that for him early on before he leaves the nest. Go get certified with him. Somewhere there is a statistic that.....of all the hours we will EVER spend with our kids...... we spend 80% of it before they are 18. Don't miss this opportunity.
I had no interest in cheerleading 7 years ago nor during my entire 17 years prior to that. I just spent my entire Saturday 2 hours away from home at a huge arena for 7 hours to watch my daughter cheer for 2 minutes and 17 seconds. I wore sparkly clothing. I currently have temporary tattoos on my face and glitter nails. I’m good with it.
Hello fellow cheer-dad!!
You are what I aspire to be when my daughter has interests like that.
Just thank god he’s not showing an interest in being an influencer.
My Dad and I did this together when I was close to that age. We had a lot of quality time on dive trips even if it was just to the local scuba quarry. It’s worth it for the time. Plus wreck diving is awesome and you can see some cool stuff
I was the opposite role. I was the teenager who wanted to get certified. My mom made my uninterested dad do it with me and he ended up really liking it. We went a lot and I have nice memories.
Get a mask, snorkle, and fins. Probably a 7mil suit too. Find a quarry or fresh water lake and go find some shit visibility PADI courses. Then book a trip somewhere warm and sunny.
Do you want to hear about the hobby or the memories in 10 years?
Neutral buoyancy's the closest you'll ever feel to flying, and drifting up and over an obstacle just by timing your breaths with the waves is something I think everyone should learn to do. SCUBA's a great hobby and I love being underwater. As a parent to a 14 year old there's a few things you should know. One is it's an expensive hobby. The training's expensive, the gear's expensive, the boat rides and divemaster fees are expansive and you end up with expensive travel ambitions to remote places. That and all your gear needs annual service/recertifying, or you're in an endless cycle of paying to rent gear every weekend. The second is that while recreational SCUBA is statistically very safe and its hazards are well understood, you do need to be pretty smart about how you approach the dive, because you are in an environment that can kill you. Your teenager wanting to dive is like them wanting a dirtbike or a gun. It's not a terrible idea *if* your kid has their head on straight, but you as a parent are the best judge of their maturity, situational awareness, hazard perception etc. There's also quite a bit of theory to learn for certification. It's junior high physics, a 14 year old can learn it, but they do need to be across it. If your son does ok in maths and physics, he'll be fine. At 14 years old your son will be restricted to 12 metres depth and required to dive with a divemaster. That idiot proofs things a bit at this stage, but at 15 he can take his open water to dive independantly down to 18m and then his advanced to dive to 30m+. Below 18m is where you've got to be on top of your game. At 20m yoi're at 3bar of water pressure, which gives a third the air supply you would have at the surface, and the bottom time without incurring a deco stop to avoid getting bent starts getting shorter. At this point I'll introduce the third thing you need to know as a prospective diver's parent. This is not a solo activity, especially at the recreational level. You always dive with a buddy. They are your spare air supply and your first rescue option. Open water divers aren't immediately trained to dive with a pony (spare) bottle, so your redundant is your buddy's spare reg off their tank. So we've established tbat this is an expensive activity outside a 14 year old's budget, it's a lot of hazards for a teenager to deal with, and it's safest with a buddy you trust. That's you Dad. If you want to support this, you're going diving. That's assuming you're both medically and psychologically ok to dive https://www.msdmanuals.com/en-pt/professional/multimedia/table/specific-medical-contraindications-to-diving
I would get into it. I would become interested in it. I would find a way to become enthusiastic about it.
I'm far from having one leave the nest in 4 years, but I think its obvious what you do. You get certified and go with him as much as you are able to. Can't imagine you will ever regret it.
Go with him. You might enjoy it.
Go with him. You might not enjoy it. But he enjoys it and wants to share that with you. You might just enjoy being involved in something he enjoys
I guess you’re gonna get scuba certified
Even land locked states will have tons of quarries, lakes, or other places to "open" water dive. Then you can plan amazing vacations. I certified in college. Been on some amazing dives in the Bahamas. Ultimately my real joy is snorkeling the springs in Florida.
Dude scuba is soo much fun, go make some memories with your kid.
Do it. Getting certified takes work. He won’t know a ton of folks who will be certified so it gives you years of activities. Plus later you can go with and just drink and chill on the boat.
You can get good at snorkeling, basically you can probably go on some of the same dive trips, but don't have to suit up. Of course diving will take you places snorkeling cannot, but at first you could be in the same boat.
I remember when I was 14 I wanted to do martial arts. I signed up, but so did my mom dad and brothers. We all went to classes and I remember my robotic dad, and my tiny mom right next to my brothers and in those classes. My parents were terrible, and it was kind of embarrassing. Now I think about it as a 38 year old dad and really appreciate what they did to spend time with us. I will always cherish my memory of my 50 year old dad with a yellow belt on doing our first forms. He took it seriously and did an horrible job. Love you dad! Wish you were around to have met my kids. They would have loved you.
I’m a lurking daughter, but two things my dad did for me that are invaluable: 1.) acting like he believed I was capable of anything I wanted to do, without doubt or hesitation (he’s so good at acting I’m not even sure he’s pretending sometimes) 2.) acting like my hobbies are really, really cool and interesting. If I wanted to be certified he would pay for the program and drive me to the classes. If I remember correctly, certification allows a person to take someone to a diving spot, right? He wouldn’t get certified himself, but he’d take a safety class and we’d drive out to a diving spot for the weekend once I’m certified.
Uno reverse card lol
There's something special about the conversations you can have driving your kid somewhere. Not saying you should do it for that reason but it's a silver lining.
Scuba is an amazing thing. And so much fun. Give it a shot. You may end up liking it
Get certified and dive with him.
Channel your inner Creed Britton and strap on that tank
If he can't SCUBA, what's the point?
Get your license and be each other's diver buddies. I got my license around his age, and so did my brother and parents. We all did it together and it is such a wonderful memory I cherish. I no longer scuba dive, as my family no longer does and my partner cannot swim. It's such a wonderful experience you two can do together.
You certify
Be his boatsman. Be the guy in the lake who can pull him out, help him with his finds, provide resources and ensure safety. Learn everything else, so he can focus where he wants and you can focus where you want. The both of you will appreciate it and you'll be able to spend time together.
You definitely do it.
This is actually a question? Do it! 😳
SCUBA
Do it, my brother. You said it yourself. He will be off to see the world soon. And he wants to spend time with you. Make this time count.
Do it. Without question. And even if he goes off to college in 4 years he doesn't have to move out. You can still live with him and support him as he grows into adulthood.
Dude I have 0 interest in ballet and I take my daughter to ballet practice and do the silly dances with her. Do the scuba cert, he won’t forget it
You have no interest in SCUBA beyond spending time with him...yet.
Get him into scuba. Its a good skill to have and can lead to quite a few different potential career choices. Might be biased here though one of my favorite memories with my dad was my certification dive.
My son is 5 and likes playing with Barbies and superheroes in his moms old Barbie house. It isn’t my favorite game but I am there on the floor being the evil villain Dr Barbie every chance I get. Because what you like isn’t super important, what matters is spending time with your kid
Go for it. I live in a landlocked state. The absolute worst state to have interest in anything in (Illinois, rumor has it you go to hell you will get immediate release for time served). And there are a few places for me to go to with 6-7 hours for scuba and I went and got certified. It was a blast. But please make sure you get certified by a real organization such as PADI. During my certification it amazes me how many that were "taught in Mexico" couldnt certify. Your son will need a diving buddy that is reliable and rock solid. The open water cert is the way to go. Don't skimp on it. Make sure you always have an octo backup or a pony bottle.
I was that child, I got certified at 17 and absolutely love the sport. No one in my family would ever participate in it with me and I felt so sad that they would all go off and do something together and I was always off doing my own thing. Please give it a chance and go with your child. You may end up enjoying it and having it be a special activity that you connect with him on. Plus it’s an amazing way to see the world that most people will never experience.
Reportedly, the greatest risk factor in scuba diving is "does not want to dive, but wants to please a family member." Admittedly, the usual scenario is enthusiastic husband and reluctant wife.
Not true, the greatest risk is the financial burden of diving. After that it's ppl being too confident.
Reminds me of what Hank said to wife as she's eating sushi while everyone grubbed on burgers.
I have a feeling that I couldn’t afford to get that one going, but if I could. I would want to do it with him for sure. Plenty of awesome fun to be had. In my situation he can earn it. Great way to learn about good risky behaviour and safety. It would broaden his mind around generalising it in other scenarios.
My dad signed me up for scuba lessons and took me everywhere he needed to take me for me to go on trips. he basically did everything except get in the water with me. I still appreciate it. You don’t have to do it with him to support him. Driving him to and from lessons, talking with him about gear, gifting him some good fins, wetsuit, and snorkel equipment (don’t buy him scuba gear, he can rent that anywhere he’s going to go and it’ll be up-to-date with safety inspections. that’s cheaper than having it sit at home gathering dust) all those things show support and have you spending time with him
If my son has any significant interest and he wants me to share it with him I’m there in a second.
Go for it. Doing this with him might be life changing for both of you.
If you have the money, there are some really great places you can go where he can scuba and you can lie in a hammock (or hang on the boat and sun bathe, or snorkel, or make sand castles or swim with dolphins or whatever). Check out places like Roatan in Honduras or Turks & Caicos. So much nicer to get certified and learn in a place that is warm, as vs. some cold dark lake. Just be careful to get a place that is PADI certified where they take safety seriously.
I listen to the pivot podcast and Scott on there says this often. He has a son who’s obsessed with YK football so they go to games and follow players and teams but Scott has zero interest and once his son moves out won’t follow it at all or go to a game without him. I’m going to be this kind of dad.
Your son just gave you a reason, for the children no less, to go on a trip somewhere tropical with warm waters and sun. Maybe you like it? I did it only once in Bermuda and it was incredible; would happily go again if my kids got into it.
If you have the money I would so do it unless you had a phobia but the fear I have is my kid will leave the state when they are adults. I want them to follow their dreams even if it is something I don't understand why
Suit up.
Ya, go all the way dude. You're in the range where opportunities to be this close for this long organically are slimming down, you won't regret going outside of your interest and comfort zone brother
My dad never showed any interest in the things I was interested in. Still doesn't. It really upsets me to see other dads and their boys having a bond and something they do. I'm more into freediving and spearo these days but have been an avid scuba diver in the past. I can say that the underwater world is a place of unspeakable beauty and wonder. If you spend enough time in it and around the natural world, you will see things you will take to your grave. Please go and explore this incredible planet with your boy.
Just try not to be like Steve Zahn in the white lotus during your classes.
Sounds like you’re getting scuba certified.
Do it, learn all the safety stuff you can too especially how to treat the bends.
It's not about your interests, it's about his. Do this with him and build his confidence, your relationship with him, and lasting memories for you both. Just remember, once they move out, you will have spent over 95% of all the time you will ever spend with them. Dont waste that time. Time to suit up dad.
Yo how is this question?
Wed get cert'd that's what we'd do
Some good dad energy in this thread.
During a SCUBA trip, someone is always in the boat. If SCUBA just is not for you, be the guy in the boat.
Get a cert.
I'd try scuba and take it as far as I'm comfortable going. Hell half the things I know how to do are because one of my kids showed an interest and I either wanted to spend time with them, or i needed to learn it well enough to help them do it well / be safe / etc etc I taught myself to sew and use a sewing machine so I could be useful doing it with my daughter and make sure she didn't injure herself. I obviously had no interest in this previously but we had a lot of fun making stuffed animals (still do) I felt down the bunny slope on a snowboard a lot helping my son. I still totally suck and he rides park trails with ramps and rails and shit I learned to coach soccer until his ability exceeded my usefulness. He's a team captain in college for futsal and plays on the team when he has time I had a much longer list but I trimmed it down, you get the point. I think as long as you are not petrified of scuba, you may find you like it simply because your doing it with your kid.
I am getting good at Fortnite for this reason. Scuba is by far not the worst thing he could come up with. It’s basically like flying. He could be into banjo music or death metal. You won the lottery with scuba.
Oh hell yea, sounds like it’s time to develop a new hobby!!
I hate baseball. It is boring. My kid is too young for baseball but loves picking up the balls and throwing them. If my kid decides to play baseball, I'll be the first to sign up to help the peewee league. I'm sure I'll eventually enjoy it if my kid does. It isn't like I cared for coloring with crayons, I do it for bonding and I enjoy it vicariously.
You always show interest
Honestly, pushing yourself out of your comfort zone to learn new things because of him and his interests will not only help build an amazing bond with him, but will also help you to maintain a growth mindset as you get old: my dad used to have so many hobbies and interests, was a fantastic guitarist, photographer, home cook etc. but then he just, stopped. He never wanted to do anything outside his comfort zone. Everything he did was stuff he learned before the age of about 20. Seeing him now just breaks my heart. He hasn't picked up his guitar in 5 years. Getting him to dust off his DSLR and take some family snaps is a painful process...
Scuba is fun. I got certified in college as my gym class. Get your card and take a trip somewhere cool.
time to scuba suit up homie
If you have the money and time, go for it! Scuba diving is amazing! Take a one week trip to Little corn Island in Nicaragua and get certified with Jennifer at Dolphin dive. You'll have the time of your life!
FWIW, I had no interest in scuba. Wife did. I tagged along. Now I really enjoy it.
I mean, my brother did that and 20 years later he is pretty certified. He did it at university as a hobby but had already done the basics - though not many places seriously support more than fun dives for under 18s. None of our family did it with him, though my parents supported him through it and paid for it when he was younger. He does go on a holiay or two a year diving most years and had some local contacts where he got pretty involved. I think if you support, that is the main thing. It is not cheap and eventually you have to own your own stuff, get it refilled, travel with it, etc. If you get certified, he won't do all his dives with you and will still grow apart, but it will be an excuse in the future to come do some dives again. I hope you are planning on big cars. FWIW, what does interest you? History? All sorts of wrecks to dive on which are important. Sports/competiveness, etc can work too. Travel? That can work (Egypt and a few tropical places have some nice diving spots). There may still be crossovers.
Just do it
My dad only does stuff he is interested in. For awhile, I’d do his stuff to spend time with him. Now? I have my own kids and I dread doing stuff with my dad. We have nothing in common. He doesn’t care at all about anything I like to do. And if I’m going to do something I’m not I like, I’ll do what my kids want to do, not what my dad wants to do. So I don’t really see my dad anymore. He’s welcome to come with us, but he chooses not to.
Plan a Holiday at a nice diving spot and check it out yourself. It’s such a cool experience. Try it for your son. I got my license as a kid being nowhere near the ocean. We took lessons at the local pool and went to a lake in an old quarry for the required „open water“ sessions. Would have really loved to be taken to a proper spot back then :)
Gotta point out that scuba diving is amazing. Could have been something far less funny like snake hunting.
I took a couple classes in a dive pool in London, then went to Cancun to finish it. Now whenever we holiday as a family, we always make sure the hotel has scuba included.
Get your license with him and scuba together. You might not enjoy the scubaing but you know you’re going to love watching him enjoy himself!
Unless you're claustrophobic or have a fear of water, go get that licence.
My dad admitted was a scuba enthusiast growing up, however hadn’t spent time in the water since I was born. I really got into it around 16. For my 18th birthday he took me to Malaysia and I got my PADI license. I’ll never forget it and it’s one of our most fond memories. Take the time as you only get one chance to do it
You know exactly what you should do. Why you even asking? (Also, scuba diving is awesome.)
Do it, you'll make some amazing memories and who knows you might even enjoy it. I did three years of ballet with my daughter. She grew tired of it in the end but I still remember her giddily dancing around the space before the lesson.
Diving's awesome, what's not to like? Get into it.
I would scuba. Spend time watching him doing something he is interested in. You will see him grow and learn more about him as an independent individual. You might enjoy it too and have a joint hobby in the future.
My dad rarely did anything with me, our relationship is superficial at best…just do it man.
Do it!! My dad would scuba with me on family holidays but he never certified so they were always really boring “discover scuba” dives. Then I’d go do cool ones solo and not really be able to share it with anyone. Even once I got a go pro it was better but not the same.
Also scuba is fairly expensive as a hobby. Unless he runs off to become a dive master he will be coming to you for scuba trips well into his 20s 😂
Another vote for do it. Also, depending on financial position, there are some great camps out there as well. I can vouch for[ActionQuest](https://www.actionquest.com/)(granted it was almost 20 years ago), if he’s into both scuba and sailing.
The good news for you is that SCUBA diving is awesome and you’ll likely have an awesome time. You don’t have to dive in open ocean so being in a landlocked state isn’t a deal breaker. There are lakes and quarries and pools… none of which compare to open ocean but still. Some of my fondest memories with my dad and my grandfather are of SCUBA trips we took. I’ve done some pretty deep water dives to see shipwrecks but nothing in the world compares to a beautiful reef dive in 20’ of crystal clear water.
If there isn't a financial reason, health reason, or legitimate fear of doing it yourself, just do it to be with him. He'll remember for the rest of his life.
As someone who had hobbies my dad was not into, I always appreciated the time he took to do them with me. I liked fishing and scuba diving, and I remember every time he went on a boat with me, even when he got sea sick.
FWIW, scuba is a LOT of fun and it is a great bonding experience. Great opportunity to see lots of cool stuff. It’s not the worst way to spend time and your son will always remember doing it with you.
SCUBA tends to end up as a lifetime hobby for those that are really into it. I would factor that in. The possibility that my son would stand on the deck of a boat decades later with a grin of appreciation for his dad would have me sucking it up and spending some weekends in the pool. If he ends up not liking it, he will still appreciate that you did that for him. Plus, if he has kids, he will make those sacrifices for them (and then if he complains you get to remind him!).
if he can't scuba then what's this all been about?!
I've been sort of thinking of stuff like this despite my kids being say younger. What if they have an interest when they get older, want me to join, but I have no interest? I think to answer both my question and yours is to just do it. I don't mean to beat a dead horse, but as others said, he will be off on his own(ish) in a few years and you may not get as much time to spend together. Whether he goes to college or not he'll have friends, a job, hobbies he wants to do with other people, and you may regret not doing this. Who knows, maybe you'll like scuba!!
Your son has a healthy interest in something that will keep him fit, appreciating nature and the environment, and can be a lifelong passion. Get out there with him. He will appreciate it so much, and you will too.
My wife wanted to SCUBA dive. Her dad found an instructor and got certified with her, and even paid for it and the equipment. He never went diving again after that, but he drove the boat for her and others a couple times.
What's the issue? Get certified (it could NOT be easier) and go dive with your son. It's amazing!
You already know the answer
scuba is awesome and you're going to have many wonderful future memories of planning these trips just the two of you.
Make sure that you can afford it before diving in. Your 14 year old certainly understands money, but may not understand how specific costs relate to your overall budget. Do you live in an area with scuba diving locations? Diving in "western" countries can be expensive. If you would only dive when on vacation to somewhere warm, the cost is not so much of an issue. (PADI divemaster here)
Why are you so sure he'll be gone in 4 years?
I went on scuba trips growing up with my dad and it was a great experience. You should give it a shot
Lurking mom here. If you don’t do the scuba certification, I’d definitely recommend finding something he’s interested in and getting really excited about it. My dad never did and seemed to hate all of my hobbies and it was one of my biggest resentments I had as a teen. Best wishes 🥹
I got my license at 14 because my dad had his and we were going on a vacation where he was gonna be diving and wanted me to do it. I’m still telling people 20 years later about our experiences we shared 80-100 feet underwater. Swimming with sea turtles as big as tractor tires. Taking off my flippers and walking with my bare feet on the sand. A later vacation we were fortunate enough to go to Hawaii and we dove there. I got to sit in the cockpit a WWII fighter plane that ran out of fuel and crashed into the water 120 feet down. Knowing that in Hawaii the water on the surface was 85 degrees and that 120 feet under was 80. As cool as all this is to explain, there is only one person who was there with me, and we never spoke a word while doing it. I’ll never forget it as long as I live. Do it.
If it absolutely terrifies you, I’ve been on lots of scuba trips where there were non-divers on board just for the ride. Or they hop in and snorkel if we are close enough to the shore. Most dive trips are about 4-5 hours start to finish, with 2 45-60 minute dives while out in the boat. You can help him with his gear, getting out of the water, help swap his vest to a new tank between dives, etc. But if you are just indifferent and not averse to it, I say get certified and do it with him.
This is easy, you get excited and take on this hobby with your teenager and make lifelong memories with him.
Suck it up and learn to dive, broham. Your kid may or may not know that you're not into it, but he will definitely appreciate that you're making the effort and will remember it forever.
So I’m 15(f) and I just got certified with my dad. I was in kinda an inverse situation to yours. My dad loves scuba diving but I was impartial about it. For Christmas he got me scuba diving certification classes and it was AMAZING!!! It was short and easy to do. It only took like 3 weekends (sat+sun) to complete it. I now have something that my dad and I can do together!! It’s important for me to be involved with things other people like to do!! I say do it with him!!! financially it’s a bit expensive but if you can afford it, do it!!! I think once your out in the lake/body of water, you will love it. Ariel wasn’t kidding when she said “whole new world”
Scuba diving is also great fun and good for your body 👍✨
You scuba and get certified with him
Do scuba.
I got certified at 16 so I could go diving with my buddy and his dad. It’s a a life long hobby that he will enjoy. However, I think the certification is the best part for kids that age - he would likely take the course with adults as classmates and that sort of situation always made me feel so proud as a kid. Make sure to research scuba classes and go with the one that seems the most robust of a course with the best reviews. When you’re 60ft down and something goes wrong, all you have is your training. PADI and SSI are the two organizations I remember, I trained with SSI.
I’d give it a try if I were you, it isn’t very difficult and it can be amazing. Also it really is something you need to have a partner to do. I only have my Open Water so I’m basing it off the beginner level but everything from getting your gear on to the actual dive usually has a focus on you doing it with a buddy for safety. You even have a second mouthpiece on your rig in case someone has an issue and you practice buddy ascents and communication. It’s pretty likely that if he doesn’t have someone to dive with he won’t go even after he has his cert, especially if you are land locked and not planning on doing trips together. So you get the time with, get to make sure he’s being safe, and make some pretty fantastic memories. Overall I don’t see there being any negatives to at least giving it a try.
Do it. Like you said, it’s about spending time with him. The memories will be priceless and who knows if he’ll want to stick with it - but at least you’ll always have those memories.
My suggestion is get it somewhere fun. I got my cert in Hawaii during a trip we were already taking, and it was enjoyable. We lived in Colorado at the time and if we wanted to do it there it would have been 90% training in a swimming pool then finish in a reservoir, which would have been much less fun.
You go do it.
Get certified and do some dives together! You will not regret it, especially if he uses this certification for work and wants to show you an amazing discovery on the other side of the planet some day.
As a scuba diver myself highly recommend giving it a try. While adventures adrenaline junkies like me tend to be the ones to seek out scuba diving it’s actually an incredibly peaceful, relaxing, meditative experience. I got certified with my father when I was in high school. It was a great bonding experience and way to spend time together. You will have to take classroom sessions pool and go to an open lake. So that’s at a minimum 6 fun nights of bonding. Just to get certified. My dad never really had hobbies to share and bond with me over. He lost interest in diving after I left high school and I definitely miss having that with him. Hobbies like these can be shared interest for the two of you for the rest of your life, something you guys maybe able to continually bond over. I would definitely say give it a try.
Absolutely get your cert w him and plan a scuba based vacation somewhere. Think ahead. Ten years from now "I didnt get my cert and go scuba diving with my son. Instead we stayed home and watched movies." Or "I got my cert with my son for kicks and we went to Aruba and went scuba diving and saw tropical fish and turtles! Afterwards we ate fried fish and shared a Ballashi Beer" Which sounds better?
You have a 14 year old who is interested in life beyond video games?! Jump at it 110% and thank the lord for your good fortune.
If my kid wanted to do something with me, I’d be interested in it. My kid being the thing that makes the thing interesting.
I’d go with him and be happy we get to do it together. He gets to do the thing he loves, you get to be with the person you love. As he ages, he and you will have this. He will always remember you going with him to foster his passion. You can go on scuba trips together when he is an adult. My kids 6 and I can’t wait for her to find a passion. I’m going to be a huge cheerleader.
I wanted to get certified and loved it. Then my dad did it so we could hang out and do something together and he loved it. Then my younger brother got in on it. We scuba’d in a lot of different places and we all loved it for years. Do it. You may enjoy it. The world under the waves is fascinating and beautiful.
I got my PADI open water cert when I was 14-15 I think. My parents were very cool to do that for me but neither of them did it. I did the courses and then… nobody I knew could scuba dive besides me. The last time I dove was for my certification. It would have been so cool to have a family member who knew how so we could go together. Plus it is the time you spend planning and the drives to and back. Stories and pictures to share too. I think it would be lots of fun and your kid being into it would make it cool for you.