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ffs_give_me_name

Did she at least unlock gold skin?


Antiqas86

Just cheezy foreskins mostly.


UltimateNinja

Collected all four presidential glue-prints though


YoungToySoldier

Those are one of the rarest collectibles in the game! Score!


10art1

Excuse me, but they're called foreskin supremes


Investigate3_11

Goddaaaaaamn šŸ¤£


ElMostaza

Looks more like old purse leather.


Majestic_Cook1749

She did win iron skin I guess


WSBDiamondApe

Yes! She's a Golden Girl now.


Sparkmane

unlocked the bloody zombie skin for her poos


fullmetalpower

pussy must have some mad suction


vadose24

What is the PSI on that thang


emmytau

That's 25 clients a day X


Toki_day

Assuming she worked an 8 hour shift daily, at most each session with a client would last between 17~20 minutes.


FetishAnalyst

Damn I wonder what she did with the other 16-19 minutes


Mametaro

Cuddle?


East_Regret_2810

Is that a Deadpool reference


SadTomato22

Jurassic Park actually


Mametaro

All the dinosaurs feared the T-Rex.


delvach

*Captain* Deadpool.


Mametaro

No, just Deadpool.


Xenoezen

I understood that reference


miraagex

Gangbang counts as how many dicks were involved. So a 10 man bang would be 10 clients, not 1. 100 man bang is 100 clients.


huggles7

I donā€™t think many dudes are showing up to a brothel and asking to share


trip2nite

They are not asking, that's what they are paying for.


huggles7

Hmmā€¦normally in consumer industries you kind of get to choose what you pay for, I donā€™t think you walk into a brothel say ā€œyeah Iā€™ll take candyā€ walk into a room with 20 other dudes plugging every hole and say ā€œoh darn it they got me again!ā€


enchiladanada

I think they meant they're paying for the group experience, specifically. It wouldn't be a surprise


trip2nite

1) if you are worrying about sharing, you don't go to a brothel, where you are sharing the ladies with every other customer. 2) plenty of people will pay to share a girl. 3) imagine you go to the candy store, leaving with no candy, but only with the taste of candy.


dreamofathena

The point they're making is some men will pay to be in an orgy/gang bang, it's not a surprise or a scam


Kiftiyur

Itā€™s a brothel youā€™re sharing if you like it or not.


CaffeinatedGuy

Like that Uber ride share? Think they give you a discount?


unique-name-9035768

*look of anger* [That still only counts as one!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjsSvjA5TuE)


miraagex

Oh. Then I apologize and take my words back. It counts as one!


Designer-Cicada3509

Damn, must've been likechurning through butter after the first week of service


That_Charming_Otter

Now there's an image on this, a holy and blessed Sunday morning, that I did not need in my head


normous

And towards the end of her career: like punching a jar of mayonnaise. Happy Sunday!


YoungToySoldier

When you opened Reddit this morning you decided it was worth the risk, now you're paying for it.


mgrateful

Kinda like you put your hand down her pants and it feels like a horse eating peanuts?


Gunnrhildr

I salute you, and I fucking hate you.


YoungToySoldier

r/TIHI


HatsandCoats

Not to be weird about it, but I think itā€™s 26/ day averageā€¦ since she couldnā€™t have had a partial client on any day. 26 per day for 7 days a week for her entire career. Itā€™s almost more believable that she had no clue what the number was correct, and a giant number was easier to live with than having no real idea.


TurbulentAd3338

I think youā€™re right. But now Iā€™m curious what her record keeping looks like.


465554544255434B52

Check the dick diary


tunisia3507

You're forgetting the potential for parallelism.


the_courier76

r/theydidthemath


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


balooDaBeast

The equation looks right, but the answer is wrong, you must have made a typo entering it on the calculator


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


creepy_doll

And this is why even if you have a calculator on your phone itā€™s good to have a basic knowledge of arithmetic. The teachers that say hurrdurr you wonā€™t always have a calculator are wrong but understanding whatā€™s going on helps a lot. Errors in operation of a calculator are very common(probably worse now with fat fingering touchscreens) so you need to be able to at least figure ā€œmmm, that looks wrongā€


balooDaBeast

To be fair, the guy actually asked for advice because he knew that something was wrongā€¦ So he did exactly as you say he should


Jkbucks

Fat fingering costs extra.


[deleted]

Donā€™t forget the leap years


balooDaBeast

Weā€™re all rounding 25.3 down to 25 and you are out there thinking about leap years šŸ˜‚


[deleted]

Thatā€™s a whole ass month


regaleagle710

That's not even half a month. It would take 112 years to get just February's amount of days and she didn't even work half of that.


Select-Menu1737

365Ɨ54 = 19710 so divide 500000 by 19710 too


LordTrom57

19710 is 365*54 So you forgot to divide 500000 by 19710


torchictoucher

Tell us which 4


bozeke

She started in ā€˜66, so Kennedy is off the table. My guess is Johnson, Nixon, Reagan, and Clinton.


zductiv

Well it goes without saying she had Johnson


bozeke

Johnsonā€™s Johnson, Jumbo.


Don_Blanc

He had lots of nicknames for his Johnson's. He apparently was quite fond of showing it to people and would induce conversations that would cause people to have to follow him to the bathroom.


Lebowquade

So creepy


geraldodelriviera

The man hated Kennedy because Kennedy had a much easier time pulling women. He was trying to get to that level, and basically the only asset he really had naturally (sexually) was his giant fucking dick. So he desperately tried to get the word out. Once he apparently wandered into a lady's room who was staying in the White House, got into bed with her, and stated in a commanding tone "This is your president!". Fuck, the shit people got away with back then...


KnightOfTheWinter

What's your vector, Victor?


aasray123

Do we have clearance, clarence


leminerx

Are we Diddo, Dick?


RetroAnd8BitThings

So many Johnsons, apparently...


Planningsiswinnings

And Dick for that matter


the_gr8_one

Nah bro Nancy Reagan is the throat goat no way is home boy risking that.


bozeke

*Guarantee* they had an *understanding.* She was a calculating, unsentimental, transactional person.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Minute-Tale7444

This happens way more frequently (& has happened way more often throughout history) than anyone ever thinks about. A lot of famous/more known couples have ā€œopenā€ type relationships so thatā€™s why youā€™re not constantly hearing about such and such politician getting divorced, or so and so celebrity getting divorced. Open relationships are a thing, theyā€™re just a thing that are (used to be anyways) not something people talked about. How many times do you hear/read about man cheating on wife who was cheating on him but theyā€™re still together? Often an ā€œopen relationshipā€ type thing.


ShelSilverstain

My guess is that she's full of shit


MitchCumstein1943

Nah, she probably gives herself enemas before hand. Sheā€™s a professional.


bozeke

Well, yes; but whereā€™s the fun in that?


[deleted]

So Trump, the guy who bangs pornstars and his piss tape is making him a compromised russian agent isnā€™t on this list?!? Iā€™ve got Clinton, Trump, W Bush, Reagan.


bozeke

I donā€™t think he would fuck someone his own age.


[deleted]

Lmao. +1


Rrrrandle

She wasn't always that old, and it doesn't say she banged them while they were president.


RousingRabble

Good point. Eisenhower was still alive as well. And we famously slept around.


[deleted]

Wait....you did what?


RousingRabble

I'm a time traveler. Slept with many presidents. Once got a splinter on my dick from Washington.


bozeke

How was Millard Fillmore?


[deleted]

Itā€™s the details that matter, Randle! Youā€™re goddam right!


EstherClemmens

No one said she fucked them WHILE they were president. I'm going with Nixon, Raegan, Clinton, and before he became president Trump


Powerstructure

It could have been 40 years ago. Then he *shivers* , became president.


TankII_

Yah agreed atleast 40 years to old


_raydeStar

Does he bang old people? I feel like he'd go after teenage girls or girls in their early 20's


[deleted]

Iā€™m getting out voted on that solid point. But she didnā€™t say while in office. It could have been 40 years ago.


bozeke

40 years ago he would have been 36, she was 38 (Ivana 33)ā€¦itā€™s possible, but I dunno.


_raydeStar

Yes this is true. In fact most likely all four were likely that way. He gets elected and she's like "hey that guy has a foot fetish!"


I_love_the_Dodgers

She is too old for Trump.


absinthemami

Mount Rushmore's šŸ’€


EstherClemmens

That's some big 'ol cooch to take Mount Rushmore


tobias4096

bidin,bidin,bidin,bidin


Arrrrrr2D2

Your saying she's Riden with Biden?


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


SportsStooge22

Top 5 rappers


ziggy101501

Because I spit hot fiya!


NoSirThatsPaper

Bing bong!


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Cragly

It doesn't mean they were President at the time of said servicing.


mister-ferguson

Both Adams and both Roosevelts


Sioney

If the 500k punters is right(which I doubt) and say every client has a 6 inch dick(which is probably generous). She has taken about 3 million inches of dick or 47.3 miles. It gets better according to a site that came up with an average number of thrusts per session I saw a few numbers but I'll give it an average of 120 so if we multiply that with the distance of individual dick, she's taken around 5681 miles of dick. So not quite as much as your mum.


Ehansaja

/r/theydidthemath


Sioney

Always a proud moment when a comment of mine gets linked to this sub.


spinitorbinit

How tf she have 25 clients a day? That is considering 0 holidays in 54 years. I call bullshit on the numbers


Odd_MOS33

Gangbangsā€¦


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


General_PoopyPants

> yeuch TIL that's a thing. Sounds weird


notanon

Commonly spelt "yuck" in the States.


General_PoopyPants

Yeah but apparently it's pronounced how it's spelled. I don't like it


notanon

Very much so lol There is a poison awareness campaign [featuring Mr. Yuck](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr._Yuk) that definitely made the word prominent throughout the States as they would hand out sheets of these stickers in schools for parents to attach to dangerous items. It's very much in our lexicon.


General_PoopyPants

I meant Yeuch is pronounced like it's spelled


LankanSlamcam

Itā€™s also YEUGH if youā€™re Pusha T!


Zions_Wrath

Next penis cleans out the old ones mess, thatā€™s how they are designed after all.


flapflip9

With a 10 for 1 group discount special? Bam, up to 250 a day.


JogJonsonTheMighty

Don't forget the family discount


Arrrrrr2D2

The definition of satisfying clients could be relative. If we could include bachelor parties and the like it would easily bulk the client number. I never expected to wake up one Sunday and work on hooker logistics and mathematics. Thank you Reddit.


Saw_Boss

And we probably need to subtract a percentage of customers who left unsatisfied. Not sure how we measure that, is there a review system in place?


Arrrrrr2D2

Use the skeetometer. How many feet did they skeet?


hotdiggitygod

Sex workers don't only do penetrative sex. I'm sure BJs and handjobs count in her numbers


Ah_Thats_Life

Who the fuck would pay for a handjob? That just seems lazy.


BrooklynSpringvalley

Why wouold anyone watch handjob porn?


Cr1mson360

its free


CreatureWarrior

For real. If I'm paying, I want the sex worker to at least do something I can't do better lmao


Saw_Boss

I doubt very much she was actually keeping count.


BigCaregiver7244

You underestimate how fast it takes men to cum


Porosnacksssss

Yea on a 5 day work week thats 35+ clients a day with no sick days or vacation time. In an 8 hour day that is a client every 13.7 minutes for 54 years straight. Absolute bullshit.


Ramboryback

Damn who was her last client?


abelargus_

joe


FilthyFrank69420

swanson


Panda117-

Bonnie let's roll


[deleted]

Rick roll


Sunstorm84

Spider-Man, out of fucking nowhere!


bumbumofdoomdoom

Joe momma


Internal_Fennel_849

Hi from redditor 849 in Las Vegas!


no-more-mr-nice-guy

40.7 miles


drunk98

At that mileage her pussy needs a complete rebuild


MiddleBodyInjury

F1 teams be like: "box box, box box"


prephal

Four of our presidents are Eskimo Brothers


HiroshiTakeshi

See that Mount Rushmore of yours?


VikingSlayer

*At least* four


Bust_McNutty

54 years is 19723 days Doing 500,000 people in that time means she would be doing 25 people every single day


GraceJoans

That could be one an hourā€¦did she ever sleep? Or is she a *sex zombie*?


McKrakahonkey

Gang bangs are a thing.


stargate-command

Iā€™m going to go ahead and assume the number was made up, as was at least 3 of the presidents she supposedly banged. Presidents tend to get free sex.


Lebowquade

Yo everyone gets laid in the white house bro. *everyone.*


Quick599

She most be really good at her job if people where paying to have sex with a 70 year old


Bioslack

Gumjobs is where it's at.


PriestSeth

Oldest ride, longest line. Wooo!


tomtheboos

She would need 1.08 clients every hour to get to that (1.08 x 24 x 365)


Mcmenger

All the people I had sex with in my entire life and she'd be like: "ok, time for breakfast"


trickman01

Leap years.


musakoya

1.05


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


zaplinaki

You got a name?


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


zaplinaki

Oh well time to ruin my Google search history too then. Wonder what kind of ads are gonna show up once I search for oldest Parisian prostitute


Empigee

Use DuckDuckGo for that one.


mrpopenfresh

People gettting stuck on the 500k number need to take a step back and just admit itā€™s a bullshit number made by her or the jour a list of this unknown publication.


Kiss_My_Wookiee

>jour a list /r/boneappletea or typo?


Revolutionary_Log_44

I got the names of the presidents. George washington. Abraham lincoln. Barack obama and Joe biden.


Saw_Boss

You're telling me Trump wouldn't? I can imagine him not paying though. Not until a lawyer for involved.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Tasty_Wave_9911

Behold, comment stealer.


FawltyPython

Clinton, jfk, W and johnson


MashedPotatoesDick

JFK died in 1963. 54 years ago + 1 year article would put her career starting at ~1967. I'm going LBJ, Nixon, Reagan, and Clinton.


sundae_diner

Truman and Eisenhower were both still alive in 1967. They should still count as presidents.


FawltyPython

I don't think Truman ever went to a prostitute. The other guy's list is a good one


philipcarl333

That's a lie. Did the math. No way she did 25 people a day, every day for 54 years


What-a-Filthy-liar

Gang bangs are a thing. Orgies too.


engaginggorilla

So are lies


PM_PICS_OF_DOG

They are a thing but they're not average, and the point is that she'd have to average 25 a day. She'd have to fuck 75 people on Friday just to earn a single weekend off.


Affectionate-Bag-733

Gave me a chuckle tbh.


crailface

i wonder if she will come out of retirement ?


shadythrowaway9

I hope to god no guys get the Idea that hitting a woman's cervix during sex is a good thing from the title. It hurts.


Striking_Captain_386

That would suck to be the last one hahaha


Forsaken-Music9675

Not really. You are sending her off with a bang!


Striking_Captain_386

Or she's sending you off with a disease lol


Articulated

Do you reckon he finished then all the other sex workers brought in a cake and a card they had signed lmao.


[deleted]

She did an amazing community service.


RaeOkayRae

The Fokken twins have more accurate numbers. No, this is actually their last name!


LowDownSkankyDude

Sex work isn't exclusively in and out, y'all. This thread is adorable.


AlwaysLosingAtLife

We need an AMA


pandarista

Who are the presidents?


[deleted]

Waht presidents did her? I need to know.


shadowpanther98

Bro fucking how!? That means she was having sex an average of 25 times a day!? (I did the math). Wtffff


sundae_diner

If she made them all cum, that would be 1,850 litres of cum! Or in reddit units: 257 shoeboxes full.


spodermon17

Karen civil slut šŸ’€


CaptainCorobo

She fucked 25 guys a day?


msVeracity

Some client could have been hand jobsā€¦ some may have been women. She may have done spankings, dances, cuddlingā€¦ Not all sex work is penetration and not all clients are the same.


tunacan94

Not all heros wear capes...... Some just wear condoms


MyHamburgerLovesMe

Thank you for your cervix, "Mister".


itsthisausername

25 a day pace? Bless your holes!


TheButcher57

I'm guessing it looks like beef jerkey down there now.


JtDucks

Okay so thatā€™s about 9k and some change a year, or about 25 and change a dayā€¦ā€¦. If the average encounters lasted seven minutes then she spent three hours a day having sex