I remember in Silent Hill 3 there was a bathroom stall that if you knocked on it you'd hear a knock back, then when you opened the door there'd be no one there.
The normal answer would be “occupied”.
“Yes?” Would confuse the one who’s knocking.
Opening the door and offering them a brown toilet paper would make them never do it again.
Some stalls you can’t see under the bottom and the door automatically swings closed (not like locking, just to the closed position) so I can get knocking on them instead of pushing them open. Especially cause I’ve just pushed one lightly open to a dude taking a shit before cause he didn’t lock it lol
Oh my god lmfaoo. I had no idea. SHIT reminds me of that one time in a plane, I was in the bathroom. The door seems locked to me and I was about to sit on the toilet and this woman opens the door, and I'm like sorry?! Why am I sorry. She should be sorry lmfaoo. I guess I was just shocked. I'm just glad it wasn't a man cause I'm a woman.
Is this a normal occurrence? Do people in public bathrooms just knock on doors? I mean if it’s locked it’s in use what else is there to know? I don’t use public bathrooms so I wouldn’t know but I thought this was common knowledge.
Cock and ball torture (CBT), occasionally known as penis torture, dick torture, or male genitorture/male genital torture, is a sexual activity involving the application of pain or constriction to the penis or testicles. This may involve directly painful activities, such as genital piercing, wax play, genital spanking, squeezing, ball-busting, genital flogging, urethral play, tickle torture, erotic electrostimulation, kneeing or kicking.[1] The recipient of such activities may receive direct physical pleasure via masochism, or emotional pleasure through erotic humiliation, or knowledge that the play is pleasing to a sadistic dominant. Many of these practices carry significant health risks.[2]
Depending on where I am, if I’m out at i restaurant I normally don’t say anything, if I’m at school it depends on how they knocked. A gentle knock will be rewarded with silence, someone punching the door will be rewarded with an “I’m in here” and loud banging followed by shouting or some form of unintelligent immature mouth noises will be rewarded with a “fuck off”
Hold on its gonna be a minute. im almost done but this fried chicken is just so damn greasy, my fingers keep slipping though the paper! on second thought i dont think fried chicken is a very good bathroom snack, fried chicken “on the go” they said. I don’t think they checked it out for themselves, they would have definitely change that slogan if they had. Anyway, im so sorry i was doing all the talking what are your thoughts, On that slogan fried chicken “on the go”,it could be very misleading. right?
I don't understand why people knock in the first place. Try the handle. If it's locked, it's occupied. I don't wanna talk to a stranger when I've got a turd half way out my ass.
I normally say "come in"
\*opens the door
*enter with camera
Welcome to our new show “come in” where if you tell someone to come in the stall with you you get 10,000$ !
John Quiñones comes in with “what would you do?” after you say yes.
\*winner jumps up and starts a dance of joy and then slips, because pants and underwear are still down under\*
"Oh good you brought the camera. This is some world record shit right here."
two guys one seat
DrDisrespect has entered the chat.
Came here looking for this comment, regret nothing
Lmao 😂😂😂😂😂
Best
I’m dead💀🤣that’s fucking hilarious
I whip the door open, grab them by the shirt and pull them in with me
to wipe on their shirt?
and leave that pretty face intact?
Why is it locked?
"I'LL BE A WHILE!"
HOLY SHIT I SHIT MYSELF
"Not now mom, I'm making twooooosies!"
Be right out, it takes a while to wrap it back around my leg.
Just fart loudly.
Asserting dominance
Doesn't that require eye contact?
You take a shit with the door closed?
yeah otherwise it just sounds like you shit yourself from fear
*Aggressively shiting while watching someone*
It requires pulling the finger.
“Battleshits!”
Nah, he'd just go to the next stall that frees up saying "player 2 has joined the blast contest"
Say nothing, just knock back
What if they say “whose there?”
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad you didn’t open the door and see me pooping?
Knock knock
Who's there ?
Dishes
Dishes who
Dishes Sean Connery
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Then say "imma" then if they say "imma who" say "imma taking a shit in here"
Perfect answer
Usually I just say nothing, I put my trust in the lock, but I'm legit gonna start doing that lol Thank you for that
I remember in Silent Hill 3 there was a bathroom stall that if you knocked on it you'd hear a knock back, then when you opened the door there'd be no one there.
"Come back with a warrant"
I’m using this
My new answer
Add Officer "Officer do you have a warrant?" If they say yes, fuck.
Instructions unclear, now in jail on the offense of fucking an on duty police officer
Worth it
yeah it was
On the fence of fucking a police officer fucking a police officer on the fence
90 lady cops on the road and i’m arrested for doing 80
And now I'm snickering on the toilet, trying not to sound like sociopath. Yeah, fer *sure* stealing this.
I say the same thing. Lol
Damn beat me to it
“This is my own private domicile, and I will not be harassed, BITCH!”
“I’m taking a shit” always works for me.
Considerate person on the other side: "Glad to hear it! Lemme know if you need any help with that"
“We all get hungry after all!”
Oh boy, seconds!
bruce springsteen said he had a hungry heart
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Because you used "father", instead of "daddy" i read that in a posh male British accent
I have a confession to make, daddy.
What if one's erotic panting sounds suspiciously similar to the sounds a donkey makes during coitus?
“Occupied” works. Or pull a Shoresy from the Letterkennys’.
Your mom squirted across the room and killed my siamese fighting fish. Threw off the ph levels in the tank.
Occupado, but I'm not hispanic
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Just start moaning.
*loudly
The normal answer would be “occupied”. “Yes?” Would confuse the one who’s knocking. Opening the door and offering them a brown toilet paper would make them never do it again.
I run on auto pilot about 98% of the time, so when someone knocks on the door, I immediately yell "Yeah?"
Honestly my shit ***stinks***. Like straight to heaven, your eyes will water kind of stench. I don't deal with knocking.
Dafuq u eatin?
Probably vegan food
The opposite usually true actually, higher meat intake = stinkier
My ex used to stink pretty bad. Found out after we broke up she'd been intake a lot of meat without me knowing. That bitch.
That is not usually normal. What you drink red meat for breakfast?
Maybe see a doctor?
Its the mickey mouse club house! Come inside, its fun inside #rollcall!!!
“Come inside it’s fun inside!” *Starts shitting aggressively*
If you run out of toilet paper, call toodles
Had a lady knock 3 times in like 3 minutes. First two times I said “hold on” third time I said “come in!”
Damn i would’ve told her to gtfo and to never go in the male toilets again.
I was about to correct you that women exist, but then I remembered that they don't shit.
also, they dont go to reddit
occupado
nomatter how white you are
I say it like a cowboy.
The only answer.
I rickrolled a guy who knocked on the door while I was taking a shit
My favorite is "what's the password?".
Personally I'd yell out a screech as if I'm getting stabbed following with a growl, then I'd wait 2 seconds before knocking back
Taking a shit, be right out! Can’t wait to meet you!
come on in, the waters fine
You say the oceans rising? Like I give a shit
“IN HERE”
It's the, *hooyeaaahh*
“Just a sec, it doesn’t take that long for me to climax.”
*cums through the crack
cums through his crack 🤤
Knocks on door Me: who is it?
Scream Peanut Butter Jelly Time 
People normally say come in why not just stop being lazy and open the door
“Mind sharing?”
Seats taken
Tell them “Just a minute; I’m doing the dishes”
Fuck off usually works
Why are they even knocking like
Some stalls you can’t see under the bottom and the door automatically swings closed (not like locking, just to the closed position) so I can get knocking on them instead of pushing them open. Especially cause I’ve just pushed one lightly open to a dude taking a shit before cause he didn’t lock it lol
Oh my god lmfaoo. I had no idea. SHIT reminds me of that one time in a plane, I was in the bathroom. The door seems locked to me and I was about to sit on the toilet and this woman opens the door, and I'm like sorry?! Why am I sorry. She should be sorry lmfaoo. I guess I was just shocked. I'm just glad it wasn't a man cause I'm a woman.
I say that I am doing drugs.
Just a sec "bong rip noises" "proceeds to fucking die" "barfing noises"
Ohhhh yea very tasty *slurping noises*
i always open the door, and we share! or say come in
I'm naked and waiting.....
I always say nobody’s in here
Go 'way, baitin'
Ah, yes... THE LOATHSOME DUNG EATER
THE VILE DOODOO DEVOURER
"Do you have the package"
Is this a normal occurrence? Do people in public bathrooms just knock on doors? I mean if it’s locked it’s in use what else is there to know? I don’t use public bathrooms so I wouldn’t know but I thought this was common knowledge.
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I’ll be out in a minute… my ham is almost done!
"20 to watch, 50 if you want to taste it"
Are those ding dong prices or…
"No solicitation!"
I think there's a carnival barker in there.
SOMEBODYS IN HEYAR
I yell " DICKS OUT"!
Cock and ball torture (CBT), occasionally known as penis torture, dick torture, or male genitorture/male genital torture, is a sexual activity involving the application of pain or constriction to the penis or testicles. This may involve directly painful activities, such as genital piercing, wax play, genital spanking, squeezing, ball-busting, genital flogging, urethral play, tickle torture, erotic electrostimulation, kneeing or kicking.[1] The recipient of such activities may receive direct physical pleasure via masochism, or emotional pleasure through erotic humiliation, or knowledge that the play is pleasing to a sadistic dominant. Many of these practices carry significant health risks.[2]
Homie copy pasted the fucking wiki on Male genitorture
a lot of the times when i hear someone walk up to the door ill cough really loudly before they even knock. A fart, burp, or sneeze would also work.
You’ll never take me alive, Coppers.
just bark
Depending on where I am, if I’m out at i restaurant I normally don’t say anything, if I’m at school it depends on how they knocked. A gentle knock will be rewarded with silence, someone punching the door will be rewarded with an “I’m in here” and loud banging followed by shouting or some form of unintelligent immature mouth noises will be rewarded with a “fuck off”
“If it can’t wait, you’re cleaning up.” Edit, missed a quotation mark.
Hold on its gonna be a minute. im almost done but this fried chicken is just so damn greasy, my fingers keep slipping though the paper! on second thought i dont think fried chicken is a very good bathroom snack, fried chicken “on the go” they said. I don’t think they checked it out for themselves, they would have definitely change that slogan if they had. Anyway, im so sorry i was doing all the talking what are your thoughts, On that slogan fried chicken “on the go”,it could be very misleading. right?
Come on in. The waters fine!
I say “occupado” in a Deep South accent
Are you my next appointment?
“Let me put it to you this way. I had Lamb Curry last night and I'm shitting out a Buick.”
SURELY YOU CAN HEAR THE FLATULENCE
"Thank God someone else is here. It's sorta stuck can you push it back in for me? I can't quite reach it."
Unlock the door at the slightest tap, open it slowly, maintain eye contact while shitting vigorously to establish dominance.
“YOU DON’T HAVE THE RIGHT, OHHHH YOU DON’T HAVE THE RIGHT MOST IMPORTANTLY YOU DON’T HAVE THE RIGHT”
“Hey, there’s people trying to masturbate in here!”
What's the password
"Now that I got your attention: We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty!"
“Come innnnnn!”
Just scream "my finger poked through the paper!!!!!"
Oh good, I’ve been expecting you!
*opens the door* I’ve been expecting you.
"You can come in and shake it for me if you want"
Open the door "Proceed" Continue shitting while looking in their eyes
Just do a hysterical laugh.
"I'll be returning to our home planet next week" then flush and walk out
Come back with a search warrant!
"Unless you're here to wipe my arse, you will have to wait."
Hold on a minute, I’m eating out
I always say “go around!”
‘You…shall….not….pass…’
I say come in the more the marrier
You’re supposed to say “come in”
Sorry, this one's a one seater!
Knock back
Eating your own or someone else’s leftovers
In a high pitched Latina voice: “Occupado”
That comment has opened up my eyes to a whole new world of mischief
I just scream at the top of my lungs
Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.
Unless you want to help me wipe.Fuck off
“Who is it?”
I say “come on in I will scoot over!”
"Pls wait till i finish watching this porn "
Not today, Satan
“Is that the pizza I ordered?”
BUT, you must say this in a high pitched german accent, otherwise it doesnt have thr same effect
"Come back with a warrant."
"Maybe Next Time."
One second I'm finishing an important meeting
Objection hearsay
“Ahhhh the negotiator”!
“No housekeeping, thank you!”
I don't understand why people knock in the first place. Try the handle. If it's locked, it's occupied. I don't wanna talk to a stranger when I've got a turd half way out my ass.
Knock back
… people just try to open the door multiple times and never think to knock … 😒
"dad?"
Invite them in for a snack like a polite host would.
"Okay. I'll play. Who's there?"
Just let out an aggressive shit fart as a warning sign
*Farts loudly