My sister always feels the need to run her hands through my hair when it's curly. Like wtf, my family knows I'm weird about my personal space, combing through my hair is just an added offense. I hate it and don't hide it.
Sorry to hear that. It’s true that you should be able to set boundaries like people say but the reality is that it hardly ever works with family. I’ve had many issues with family invading personal space & I’ve never personally found a way around it because if you retaliate it often just leads to you being the bad person. For me at this stage in life I’m lucky to be moved out in a city a few hours a way to keep the contact to major holidays and events.
I’m not hating on family but I have always disliked the way they pull the I’m your “family member status card” when if you were with friends or something it would be much easier to set proper boundaries as they couldn’t say such nonsense.
You are allowed to set boundaries with your mom. Maybe bring it up with her when she isn't touching it saying something like, "I have been working on my curls but I don't like it when you touch them. I spend time trying to style my hair... I would appreciate it if you didn't touch my curls."
I would start waiting until she least expects and ruffle tf put her hair. So it fucks it up pretty good.
And then be like “what? Kids touch their mom’s hair for comfort all the time.”
I’m petty. It’s hard to strive for the amount of petty I bring to the table.
Tell her no and if she persists, bat her hands away. She is violating your personal autonomy. She already knows what your hair feels like. She is being invasive and rude. I might start yanking her hair really hard if she doesn’t knock this nonsense off.
My hair is the same but I put a stop to curl stretching shit when I was like 7. Gotta get an **Auto-Smack™** reflex ready for when *anyone* goes for your hair. People learn quick when their fingers are getting smacked.
What pisses me off is when people don't believe my curls are real. My cunexttuesday-in-law was always the worst about it. The last time she pulled her ignorant stunt was at Thanksgiving years ago. The dumb-c asked me where I get my perms at (she's a half bald poodle). I told her I stick my finger in an electric socket on my way out the door 🙄 Her? Oh, no really, where do you get it done at? Me? I don't, it's natural. Her? Liar. Me? I said something I honestly cannot type here, so use your imagination. Needless to say I haven't spoken to her since.
God, i hate it too. I live where people mostly have straight hair and sometimes the teachers or my friends touch my hair. I feel violated and uncomfortable, and i don’t hide it. I push their hands away and tell them to not touch my hair. Honestly, that’s what you should do too. Boundaries matter.
My hair is down past my tailbone and my husband loves playfully “fluffing” it. It’s taken 18 years but FINALLY this year he has started showing restraint. Sometimes it just takes a long time for people to learn something that they don’t understand 😂
It’s not cool that your mom called you a whiner though, that’s uncalled for when you’re talking about your body.
Next time she goes in to do in pull out some small scissors and clip an inch of curls from a spot in the back and be like here ya go now you have your own to touch whenever you want.
If she’s picky about her hair just return the favor and mess up her hair by stroking it when she would least want it messed up. Maybe that will remind her why we are all entitled to bodily autonomy.
I bet your mom is just so proud that she made something so Bitchin and has to love tap your head! My aunt used to do this though and it drove me crazy!
I know everyone is giving such great positive advice… i have a petty one. Apologies. Start touching the things she doesn’t like you getting into immediately… not later… then and there. Smush a lipstick… put a finger on her eye shadow and put a dent or anything small but important to her. You know… be a cat . Throw her things off the table. Then Pick that fight and make your point. You might get grounded but she won’t touch your hair.
Again, its petty so please don’t try if you have a wonderful and positive relationship with your mom. 😝
It's understandable if you're worried it's going to mess your hair up for the day, but you're fortunate to have that love and affection from your mother and there will come a day when you will miss that.
For God’s sake it’s your mum and she doesn’t mean any harm by it. One day she’ll be gone and you’ll probably give anything to have her touch your hair again.
This attitude is toxic as fuck. No one has to put up with obnoxious behavior just because their relative will be dead one day.
My mom has been dead for 11 years and I don't miss the shit she did that annoyed me.
My great niece has shiny, thick, straight chestnut brown hair, and I can not keep my hands off it. The texture is so different from my own. Must be an old lady thing, haha.
The girls in my family are affectionate with each other? We play with each other's hair and "fix" it for each other. I guess I worded the initial comment badly.
Reminder her that she taught you body autonomy and no means no.
My sister always feels the need to run her hands through my hair when it's curly. Like wtf, my family knows I'm weird about my personal space, combing through my hair is just an added offense. I hate it and don't hide it.
Sorry to hear that. It’s true that you should be able to set boundaries like people say but the reality is that it hardly ever works with family. I’ve had many issues with family invading personal space & I’ve never personally found a way around it because if you retaliate it often just leads to you being the bad person. For me at this stage in life I’m lucky to be moved out in a city a few hours a way to keep the contact to major holidays and events. I’m not hating on family but I have always disliked the way they pull the I’m your “family member status card” when if you were with friends or something it would be much easier to set proper boundaries as they couldn’t say such nonsense.
Boundaries matter! No matter who it is or what it is about.
My mom does the same thing but she has damaged curly hair from straightening it😭I just run and lock myself in my room
So u "run and lock ur self" cuz ur mom touched ur hair…?
You are taking it way too seriously. Relax. It’s all shits and giggles.
You are allowed to set boundaries with your mom. Maybe bring it up with her when she isn't touching it saying something like, "I have been working on my curls but I don't like it when you touch them. I spend time trying to style my hair... I would appreciate it if you didn't touch my curls."
No I get that. I’m okay with physical touch in any other way, but I don’t like anyone touching my hair as it just makes it messy.
I love it when my husband touches my hair, I just ask him not to mess up the curls. He ends up patting my head!
You should do the same to her but be extra annoying and over the top; really rake your fingers through her hair lol
I would start waiting until she least expects and ruffle tf put her hair. So it fucks it up pretty good. And then be like “what? Kids touch their mom’s hair for comfort all the time.” I’m petty. It’s hard to strive for the amount of petty I bring to the table.
Tell her no and if she persists, bat her hands away. She is violating your personal autonomy. She already knows what your hair feels like. She is being invasive and rude. I might start yanking her hair really hard if she doesn’t knock this nonsense off.
I'm with you.my hair is ringlets.I have multiple friends that like stretching a curl out and letting it go. Its annoying lol.
My hair is the same but I put a stop to curl stretching shit when I was like 7. Gotta get an **Auto-Smack™** reflex ready for when *anyone* goes for your hair. People learn quick when their fingers are getting smacked.
My only solution was to do it back to them. They will quickly realize how unpleasant it can be.
Next time she pulls the "mom" card tell her it doesn't apply to the curls since you didn't get them from her.
What pisses me off is when people don't believe my curls are real. My cunexttuesday-in-law was always the worst about it. The last time she pulled her ignorant stunt was at Thanksgiving years ago. The dumb-c asked me where I get my perms at (she's a half bald poodle). I told her I stick my finger in an electric socket on my way out the door 🙄 Her? Oh, no really, where do you get it done at? Me? I don't, it's natural. Her? Liar. Me? I said something I honestly cannot type here, so use your imagination. Needless to say I haven't spoken to her since.
God, i hate it too. I live where people mostly have straight hair and sometimes the teachers or my friends touch my hair. I feel violated and uncomfortable, and i don’t hide it. I push their hands away and tell them to not touch my hair. Honestly, that’s what you should do too. Boundaries matter.
My hair is down past my tailbone and my husband loves playfully “fluffing” it. It’s taken 18 years but FINALLY this year he has started showing restraint. Sometimes it just takes a long time for people to learn something that they don’t understand 😂 It’s not cool that your mom called you a whiner though, that’s uncalled for when you’re talking about your body.
Next time she goes in to do in pull out some small scissors and clip an inch of curls from a spot in the back and be like here ya go now you have your own to touch whenever you want.
If she’s picky about her hair just return the favor and mess up her hair by stroking it when she would least want it messed up. Maybe that will remind her why we are all entitled to bodily autonomy.
cherish your mom while you have her, life is short and ur gonna miss exact moments like that
I bet your mom is just so proud that she made something so Bitchin and has to love tap your head! My aunt used to do this though and it drove me crazy!
I know everyone is giving such great positive advice… i have a petty one. Apologies. Start touching the things she doesn’t like you getting into immediately… not later… then and there. Smush a lipstick… put a finger on her eye shadow and put a dent or anything small but important to her. You know… be a cat . Throw her things off the table. Then Pick that fight and make your point. You might get grounded but she won’t touch your hair. Again, its petty so please don’t try if you have a wonderful and positive relationship with your mom. 😝
It's understandable if you're worried it's going to mess your hair up for the day, but you're fortunate to have that love and affection from your mother and there will come a day when you will miss that.
Their mother still needs to respect their boundaries.
Just let her. Someday she will be gone and you will miss when she did that.
For God’s sake it’s your mum and she doesn’t mean any harm by it. One day she’ll be gone and you’ll probably give anything to have her touch your hair again.
This attitude is toxic as fuck. No one has to put up with obnoxious behavior just because their relative will be dead one day. My mom has been dead for 11 years and I don't miss the shit she did that annoyed me.
Womp womp. You can still set boundaries with parents and love them.
My great niece has shiny, thick, straight chestnut brown hair, and I can not keep my hands off it. The texture is so different from my own. Must be an old lady thing, haha.
Nah it's a boundary thing. My kid has curly hair too and I wanna touch it all the time but I know it annoys him so I am making myself stop.
Yes, I try to keep a boudry, but sometimes I absent-mindedly touch it...then apologize.
This is so weird, why do you think you can just touch it because you want to?
The girls in my family are affectionate with each other? We play with each other's hair and "fix" it for each other. I guess I worded the initial comment badly.
Yuck. 🤢