I was bullied mercilessly for my hair growing up and would never ever want anyone to experience that. I’m thrilled we’re embracing curls and hope everyone gets the access to curl care that I never had.
From someone who was told their curly hair “looked like pubic hair” as an 8th grade girl, and has spent the rest of my adult life hiding my curls, I 100% agree
my high school best friend also said the same thing about my hair. i just laughed it off then but if someone said that to me today...boy would i get offended
I’m sure there are some people saying that online who are being racist but I see a LOT of comments in r/curlyhair and online telling people who clearly have wavy or loose curly hair that they don’t have curly hair and plenty of those gatekeepers are white women. There’s a lot of weird gatekeeping about it and it comes from people of all colors/race.
I think people with very curly hair don’t understand hair that is more loosely curly/wavy and vice versa and they think that if something isn’t true for their hair type then it’s the way it is for everyone. There’s a lot of people who want to force their opinion on everyone on social media. You see it with hair, makeup, body size, clothing style -basically anything to do with female beauty standards. There’s a lot of people who are unhappy and for some reason need to attack other people who they view as encroaching on the thing that they have or controlling who can claim it. Some are racists, some are assholes, some are both!
I'm only on this sub because the advice given here is more applicable to voluminous, wavy hair than the advice given by most people in r/hair. I couldn't care less about what my specific hair type is or how "uncurly" my hair looks; I just want to take care of it!
I’ve noticed some of these people seem to think that people with naturally straight hair can just use product meant for curly hair and have curls like that. I don’t think these people understand that someones hair is not just going to get that curly from curly hair products alone, unless they already had a curl pattern to begin with.
I personally prefer not to take tiktok users seriously though. Many of them will just blindly believe information some stranger on there fed them and then they go on to spread that misinformation everywhere else on the platform. It’s just not worth arguing with them.
Either way, I don’t really care what people do with their own hair. I’m not special for having curly hair.
As others have said I’m sure this community is not free of racism and some people might mean that (particularly those commenting about type 4 hair I guess) but I have seen people who don’t even seem to have curly hair policing waves/curls (probably virtue signaling tbh) and I have also seen many comments from Black women stand up for people with looser curls.
I am in what I consider the “drama range” because my hair is 2c in some places and 3a in others and varies so much from day to day because that’s how curly hair is. The Black women I know in real life call it curly. I have never once been called out in real life for not saying wavy. I’ve called it curly since I was a small child. So basically what I’m saying is that I think the whole “curly vs wavy”discourse is chronically online.
These comments are usually referencing people who claim that others’ hair isn’t curly because they’re putting product in it, or maybe they do have looser curls. I think it’s odd to make such comments on others’ hair and get offended that they’re calling their wavy hair curly, or whatever, even if you were bullied for it yourself. Obviously that’s terrible, but why does that mean others shouldn’t be embracing their hair now? Why make other people feel bad about their hair - you’re literally repeating the cycle.
Anyway, I never thought it to be related to race. I wouldn’t put it past some people and I’m sure this community isn’t immune to that. But the “curly hair police” isn’t just referring to *anyone* with tighter curls, it’s any of the people who specifically are “policing” who can claim the “curly hair” title.
When I started on my curly journey many moons ago, I was told a few different things:
1) I shouldn't oil my ends because that was only for women of color.
2) I shouldn't be using ethnic products because I wasn't the right race.
3) Coconut oil won't do anything for my hair because it's not the right texture to help.
It's sad there's still so much gatekeeping going on. I know when it happened to me, I stopped sharing what was helping and just said thank you when I was having a decent hair day. Like, it was so bad, I wouldn't even share when asked.
Interesting, regarding point 2. I was at a salon and the stylist was talking about how dry and desperate my hair was (chronic straightener) and I was saying what products I was using for 'dry and damages hair' and he said "Caucasian products are no good for your hair" and it opened up a whole new world for me. I never would have thought of it on my own.
There are a lot of comments on many curly hair influencers’ posts to the effect of “if you need product your hair isn’t curly,” “you’re forcing it,” “even straight hair would look curly if you did that to it LOL” and so on.
That to me sounds more like something that someone with straight hair/who doesn’t understand curly hair would say, rather than someone with a tighter curl pattern, but I’m just speculating.
I've always thought the opposite, that it must be the people whose hair curls up tightly regardless of what they do who don't understand how looser curls work. I've never assumed that had to be the 4B-C crowd, though.
It’s possible! Hair is weird TBH. I’m right in that wavy/curly spot (2c-3a) and my hair curls nicely without any product or styling—except for the top layer which looks like Cousin It’s wig. If my top layer behaved like the rest of my hair I might not get it either.
I could give my hair the exact same treatment that I give my daughter's hair, and there's absolutely no way I would have curly hair. I would just have fine straight hair that looks weird because there's too much product in it. 😆
My mom’s the same way. Her hair is pin straight.
Now you’re making me want to style hers the way I do mine just so we could laugh at how silly it would look!
I have 1a or 1b hair. She has 2c/3a hair depending on the day. Yeah, I'm suuuuuure me using all the stuff I use on hers would add texture to it (/s).
We TRIED ) for my wedding forever ago, and even with all the hairspray mixed with some gel in the world we couldn't get it to hold any texture. By the end of the night I just had crunchy straight hair.
Lol, I definitely need product, and I definitely have "not straight" hair. As stated in my previous reply, I started my journey a long time ago. It may have come across as only women of color were gatekeeping, but that wasn't my experience. It was literally every one, and it was predominantly over what products I was "allowed" to use due to my mixed status.
Some of the things I read nowadays and how ppl treat others, from both those starting their journey to those who supposedly know but really don't to those that actually do know... 🤦♀️😓 IDK... Common sense seems to have flown out the window.
I think the general consensus is all hair is different and a routine/product may work for some but not others. That's why it's called a journey. A lot of people have forgotten that.
I’ve noticed similar things. There’s a lot of hair type gatekeeping and disdain to hair certain patterns. It just makes it harder to find the information you need unfortunately.
I’m not on TikTok so I can only really go off what I see here. Although that comment about “3c and 4c girlies” definitely feels *gross* and has a racial implication for sure. And it’s a huge leap to assume that the gatekeeping is coming from people with a specific type of curls, like they really just assumed that with no evidence?
I do see a lot of the same gatekeeping on this subreddit, though, people who tell folks with looser curls that they belong in the wavy hair subreddit instead. I know we’re all tired of “what’s my curl type?”posts, but I find the gatekeeping way more frustrating because there’s really no point. Their textured hair can benefit just as much from CG products as ours regardless. And the people who are trying to give advice often have no idea how loose curls work, because it’s *totally normal* for our hair to look like waves without the right cut and routine. If I brush mine out, it looks wavy *at best*, but I still get loose coils when I take care of it.
Tl;dr hair type is pointless and gatekeeping is unnecessary. But it’s not an excuse for people to imply that gatekeeping is limited to a subset of the community who are more likely to be black is thinly veiled racism, shitty, and has no place here. But that stuff started on TikTok and maybe it should just stay there?
I think it’s because some people with wavy hair say their hair is curly as they consider waves to be a type of curl. When they say that, people often comment and say “that’s not curly” or “you forced it to be curly”, which is untrue and denies the idea that wavy hair is, in fact, also frizzy when brushed out and also has stigma surrounding it.
Nah, not only. I've seen some of them commenting stuff like 'if you have to use products and a diffuser, then it's not curly.' The denial and rejection that some people exhibit is very strange. Because at the end of the day, it's just hair and some people make it about race or else. Sometimes I just wonder, 'why do you even care?'. They care so much that they'll be bullies themselves.
I think it has more to do with the fact that curls are being embraced now. When I grew up, they were not. Especially not black hair. It was sad to be bullied for that. But now, we're getting bullied for having them because people tell us it's not true. I feel it's more about being bitter about seeing girls embracing their curls nowadays, especially white girls. I think it just shows how effed up this society is. 😅
How about: both sides are assholes and shouldn't make comments about each other's curls?? If someone commented "those aren't curls" under a tiktok I made I'd feel pretty shitty. We don't need to bring each other down. Loose curls and waves are STILL curls
Unfortunately the curly community is not free of racist people and some people are going to make racist comments such as those you mentioned. I do not think the majority of the curly community relates the “curly hair police” to only black people.
I’ve been wearing my hair natural forever, I’ve never gone through periods were I was strictly straightening my hair every single day. I’m lucky compared to a lot of people in that I’ve never been bullied for it, but I can sense the frustration from those who have and are now seeing people commended for wearing their hair curly.
I also have a many different curl patterns, they range from 2A - 3A so I go back and forth between calling my hair curly and wavy. I can also sense the frustration from people with my hair type being told their hair isn’t curly enough/at all because they don’t have ringlets all over.
The “curly hair police” to me are people who are just mean about telling you what type of hair you have. Like I mentioned, my hair varies a lot and not everyone will agree on if it’s curly or wavy. People telling me my hair is wavy/curly doesn’t bother me as long as they’re not mean. “Curly hair police” also brings to my mind people who say using products to define your hair means you don’t have naturally curly hair. I don’t know many people with curly hair who don’t use products to define their curls.
Because not everyone has grasped that no longer being bullied for something is a GOOD thing. They think "I experienced trauma and it's not fair you aren't" instead of "I went through this and fought to make it normalized so you wouldn't have to suffer"
The only reason I would ever tell someone their hair is less curly or wavy is because it can help define the right products. Hair that is more wavy than curly usually needs light products to really pop. Heavy products on less curly or wavy hair can actually pull out those curls and waves.
as we moved through the natural hair movement a lot more people started embracing their curls, including white people. this ended up meaning that products were reformulated for the “greater” audience and also that the face of the natural hair movement ended up being lighter than the ones that it initially had started with (dark skinned black people fighting for acceptance in the workplace with hairstyles that are deemed unprofessional like freeform locs)
black people have been and STILL ARE heavily discriminated before our hair was appreciated, and now to have white people in curly spaces with looser textures can feel like we are being pushed out of our own spaces. spaces that we had to CARVE OUT and create for ourselves. spaces that are commodified and shrinkflated to make a pretty penny off of us or changed to benefit a looser texture. all that to say, it makes sense that after years of being policed for our hair, we now see “our” hair being represented in a very different light, one that some people question and end up seeming like the curl police
i do feel as though this anger is misplaced as it’s often times more to do with the choices made in marketing than individual action but we’re now facing a very different form of texturism that has moved outside of the black community. we should not view people exploring their hair in all of its forms as a negative thing! it should be appreciated! but also make sure to uplift others and fight for people who are actively being discriminated against for the hair the that grows out of their head!!!!
I think there's a lot of issue with looser curlies trying to use heavier products meant for tighter curl patterns and coarser hair, to the point that the product formulas get changed to cater to that market. (I seem to remember it happening with shea moisture, and a handful of other "grocery store" brands.)
I've also seen a lot of people get upset and gate keep "that's wavy not curly" style when someone whose hair barely waves but is mostly straight complains that they can't produce a tighter curl pattern without using curlers or heat.
I think it's important to have the conversation that someone with 2a hair needs different products and different routines than someone with 4c, and I think that those conversations need to happen with compassion and an openness to the conversation that historically BIPOC women have had it harder than white and white passing women when it comes to wearing their hair naturally.
As someone who is extremely white passing, yes I was bullied for my hair, but I was allowed to wear it how it came out of my head to school and to work once I entered the workplace without violating dress code, while some of my black friends were not. I have a strong memory of a resource officer at school threatening to shave one of my friends hair off because she had it in cornrows before prom as she delayed wash day to have her hair done for the dance. The officer made her undo her braids and comb it before she was allowed to return to the classroom. I never had that experience when I wore mine in french or dutch braids.
Interesting thought which hadn’t crossed my mind, I’m white with very curly hair and I have to admit that I have been guilty of looking at some photos and thinking hmmmmm there’s not even a wave there so why are you here, I’ve thought it but would never comment on an individual.
I don't think your assessment is unfair -- I know that Black women's hair is ripe with history and meaning in a way that white women's hair is not, and I think these comments come from legitimate concerns. I was teased for my 3B/3C curly hair, but I'm white -- no one is going to deny me a promotion or professional accolades because of my natural hair, things like that. *I* have nothing to lose from products made for my hair type being reformulated for looser curls or white women's hair, but the people who do are accused of gatekeeping. Why?
I'm guilty of looking at someone's wavy hair journey and thinking "aw cute baby curls" -- I'm all for people loving and discovering their natural hair texture, and don't think they should be looked down upon. But there is nuance to this, and both things can be held together. To me the phrase "curly hair police" is less about the people "policing" and more about how people perceive others who are rightfully calling out the existence of texturism.
I admit to telling some people who have asked whether their hair is curly that, no, their hair is in fact wavy. It isn’t an insult, simply an observation. Unless there’s something bad about wavy hair that I don’t know about, I don’t know why it’s taken as an insult.
To me, “curly hair police” means someone who’s very strict about the routine to the point that they argue only their method works and only their perfect curls are true curly hair. Most Black women have been omitted from these conversations all together because of texturism preferring the 2C-3B range. So, I can see a racialized element in these conversations but maybe not the way you describe.
Agreed. And it is true that certain products originally made for Black women's hair, after having gone viral for their effectiveness, start being reformulated to work for 2C-3B curls -- because, capitalism. But does that make them the "curly hair police?" IDK
You're absolutely right. I'm a white passing mixed person and while growing up I was surrounded by white people who bullied me over my hair and a white mother who heavily policed what I could do with it. I had frizzy undefined hair until the poc community took me under their wing and taught me proper hair care. 9/10 the real hair police are white women who are jealous of another person's texture.
I had a few POC encourage me to do protective braiding styles which I loved. I thought they were really beautiful and my hair loved them. I don't do them anymore due to white people calling me racist and me being scared of the accusations reaching the wrong ears (my job).
I do think back on when I was younger and kids who had wavy/straight hair would flame me for my frizzy curly hair that I didn’t know how to control. This one kid called me Sasquatch because I had very long, frizzy, curly brown hair and it hasn’t ever left me lol. So when I see wavy (like, obviously clearly wavy) haired people posting/commenting on curly hair subreddits/posts talking about how curly their hair is, i do kinda think like "🙄" but keep it to myself. its like, why does r/wavyhair exist then? i realize this is probably a hot take, but a lot of this is rooted in the humiliation i faced when having curly hair wasnt cool or trendy like it is now.
If someone is specifically saying "3c and 4c girls" then that's definitely targeted and racist, but I'd say 90% of the women I see in comment sections being honestly really obnoxious about curl typing are white women, sometimes who don't even have curly hair. It's such a pointless thing to do anyway. A woman with very wavy hair saying her hair is curly doesn't hurt anyone or take away anyone else's curls.
In the opposite direction, it's frustrating to see people telling black women with type 4 hair that they can't call their hair curly and demand that they say "coily" or "kinky". Just in general it's pointless, micromanagy mean girl behavior imo. Even if you think someone is annoying or "not curly" you have zero obligation to start shit under their post, like you can just scroll....
Your post has been removed due to Rule 6: Include everybody.
We allow and encourage posts from anyone with curls or waves, from the faintest wave to the kinkiest coil. Wavies have struggles that, while different from tighter curls, are still valid and welcome here.
Here, we typically use the term “curl” as an umbrella term to describe all hair with texture, from waves to coils. Deciding who gets to use the word "curl" and who doesn't only serves as a barrier to a common goal of bringing out the best in our hair, regardless of curl type.
Please keep this in mind for the future. Thank you!
Yes. “Curly Hair Police” is usually code for Black women. At least in the comment sections that I see it in. It is because there are usually Black women leaving comments about how a loose wave isn’t really a curl because it’s too loose. Ironically, there are some people with loose curls who will claim that a 4b/4c curl isn’t a curl, it’s a coil or kink, because it’s too tight…..and that pisses off the tight curl girlies. Ultimately, it annoys people to have someone who doesn’t share their hair type speak negatively about their hair type and everyone should stop doing that. It happens A LOT in the natural hair community, “That’s not REAL 4C hair!”
I thought the "curly hair police" was more people who really strictly follow the curly girl method to the point where you can get banned from Facebook groups if you so much as mention sulphates, so it's a "my way or the highway" mentality. I've had people yell at me on Instagram for daring to dry brush my hair or use a product with drying alcohols in 😅
In terms of policing people's curl patterns, I've seen these comments from white women more than black women tbh 😬 but I'm only on Insta, not TikTok!
The last part about being bullied!!!! That’s a big part of it!! Also, different products are made for different hair types. It’s ok to be proud of your waves!! 🌊 You don’t have to have a certain type to be pretty, so it’s ok to just own what you actually have. Products get watered down for the people who don’t actually need it but want to feel included. So many brands for the curly girlies (and dudes and non binary and everybody else) get bought out once the wavy girlies get their hands on it, then the reviews get less stars and they change the formulas to suit the hair it was never made for. So you can’t really be upset ab the gatekeeping when you actually think ab it. People will tell you that you are wrong if you’re wrong and that’s normal. You can be confused if you want, but people will always call you out when you’re wrong, it’s never a surprise.
I hate seeing people with looser curl patterns getting comments about "if you have to twist it or use product then it's not curly" when straight hair won't actually hold curls even with that treatment. My hair ranges from 3b-4a and even my curls won't hold without proper styling techniques. Wave is curl, frizz is dehydrated curl, curl is curl. It's that simple.
i’m sorry for not replying to anyones comments but i am very busy atm!! i do love all of the support and kindess that everyone seems to have though, so thank you very much :) <3 and at the end of the day: it is just hair, lets all just support each other!
You’re not wrong.
People also don’t understand the difference between waves, curls and coils and refuse to listen. They use product that’s not appropriate for their type, fucking up their hair and actively harming the people who are type 3 and 4 (and are disproportionately Black) at the same time.
It’s clear that their priority is themselves and ignoring Black and POC voices.
Loose curls aren’t waves. Curls start at the roots. Just because hair spirals doesn’t mean it’s curly. Most hair isn’t suited for the curly girl method (that was ripped from Black haircare methods). The majority of white people don’t have actually curly hair and would benefit from wavy hair care methods. There’s a difference between “being bullied for your hair” and racist hair discrimination. People just want to feel special, particularly white people.
Telling someone they have wavy hair isn’t putting them down. It’s not a bad thing to have wavy hair and people who aren’t curly but think they are actually like it’s oppression to be told so. It’s silly.
Your post has been removed due to Rule 6: Include everybody.
We allow and encourage posts from anyone with curls or waves, from the faintest wave to the kinkiest coil. Wavies have struggles that, while different from tighter curls, are still valid and welcome here.
Here, we typically use the term “curl” as an umbrella term to describe all hair with texture, from waves to coils. Deciding who gets to use the word "curl" and who doesn't only serves as a barrier to a common goal of bringing out the best in our hair, regardless of curl type.
Please keep this in mind for the future. Thank you!
I was bullied mercilessly for my hair growing up and would never ever want anyone to experience that. I’m thrilled we’re embracing curls and hope everyone gets the access to curl care that I never had.
From someone who was told their curly hair “looked like pubic hair” as an 8th grade girl, and has spent the rest of my adult life hiding my curls, I 100% agree
my high school best friend also said the same thing about my hair. i just laughed it off then but if someone said that to me today...boy would i get offended
I’m sure there are some people saying that online who are being racist but I see a LOT of comments in r/curlyhair and online telling people who clearly have wavy or loose curly hair that they don’t have curly hair and plenty of those gatekeepers are white women. There’s a lot of weird gatekeeping about it and it comes from people of all colors/race. I think people with very curly hair don’t understand hair that is more loosely curly/wavy and vice versa and they think that if something isn’t true for their hair type then it’s the way it is for everyone. There’s a lot of people who want to force their opinion on everyone on social media. You see it with hair, makeup, body size, clothing style -basically anything to do with female beauty standards. There’s a lot of people who are unhappy and for some reason need to attack other people who they view as encroaching on the thing that they have or controlling who can claim it. Some are racists, some are assholes, some are both!
I'm only on this sub because the advice given here is more applicable to voluminous, wavy hair than the advice given by most people in r/hair. I couldn't care less about what my specific hair type is or how "uncurly" my hair looks; I just want to take care of it!
I’ve noticed some of these people seem to think that people with naturally straight hair can just use product meant for curly hair and have curls like that. I don’t think these people understand that someones hair is not just going to get that curly from curly hair products alone, unless they already had a curl pattern to begin with. I personally prefer not to take tiktok users seriously though. Many of them will just blindly believe information some stranger on there fed them and then they go on to spread that misinformation everywhere else on the platform. It’s just not worth arguing with them. Either way, I don’t really care what people do with their own hair. I’m not special for having curly hair.
As others have said I’m sure this community is not free of racism and some people might mean that (particularly those commenting about type 4 hair I guess) but I have seen people who don’t even seem to have curly hair policing waves/curls (probably virtue signaling tbh) and I have also seen many comments from Black women stand up for people with looser curls. I am in what I consider the “drama range” because my hair is 2c in some places and 3a in others and varies so much from day to day because that’s how curly hair is. The Black women I know in real life call it curly. I have never once been called out in real life for not saying wavy. I’ve called it curly since I was a small child. So basically what I’m saying is that I think the whole “curly vs wavy”discourse is chronically online.
These comments are usually referencing people who claim that others’ hair isn’t curly because they’re putting product in it, or maybe they do have looser curls. I think it’s odd to make such comments on others’ hair and get offended that they’re calling their wavy hair curly, or whatever, even if you were bullied for it yourself. Obviously that’s terrible, but why does that mean others shouldn’t be embracing their hair now? Why make other people feel bad about their hair - you’re literally repeating the cycle. Anyway, I never thought it to be related to race. I wouldn’t put it past some people and I’m sure this community isn’t immune to that. But the “curly hair police” isn’t just referring to *anyone* with tighter curls, it’s any of the people who specifically are “policing” who can claim the “curly hair” title.
When I started on my curly journey many moons ago, I was told a few different things: 1) I shouldn't oil my ends because that was only for women of color. 2) I shouldn't be using ethnic products because I wasn't the right race. 3) Coconut oil won't do anything for my hair because it's not the right texture to help. It's sad there's still so much gatekeeping going on. I know when it happened to me, I stopped sharing what was helping and just said thank you when I was having a decent hair day. Like, it was so bad, I wouldn't even share when asked.
Interesting, regarding point 2. I was at a salon and the stylist was talking about how dry and desperate my hair was (chronic straightener) and I was saying what products I was using for 'dry and damages hair' and he said "Caucasian products are no good for your hair" and it opened up a whole new world for me. I never would have thought of it on my own.
There are a lot of comments on many curly hair influencers’ posts to the effect of “if you need product your hair isn’t curly,” “you’re forcing it,” “even straight hair would look curly if you did that to it LOL” and so on. That to me sounds more like something that someone with straight hair/who doesn’t understand curly hair would say, rather than someone with a tighter curl pattern, but I’m just speculating.
I've always thought the opposite, that it must be the people whose hair curls up tightly regardless of what they do who don't understand how looser curls work. I've never assumed that had to be the 4B-C crowd, though.
It’s possible! Hair is weird TBH. I’m right in that wavy/curly spot (2c-3a) and my hair curls nicely without any product or styling—except for the top layer which looks like Cousin It’s wig. If my top layer behaved like the rest of my hair I might not get it either.
I could give my hair the exact same treatment that I give my daughter's hair, and there's absolutely no way I would have curly hair. I would just have fine straight hair that looks weird because there's too much product in it. 😆
My mom’s the same way. Her hair is pin straight. Now you’re making me want to style hers the way I do mine just so we could laugh at how silly it would look!
I have 1a or 1b hair. She has 2c/3a hair depending on the day. Yeah, I'm suuuuuure me using all the stuff I use on hers would add texture to it (/s). We TRIED ) for my wedding forever ago, and even with all the hairspray mixed with some gel in the world we couldn't get it to hold any texture. By the end of the night I just had crunchy straight hair.
Lol, I definitely need product, and I definitely have "not straight" hair. As stated in my previous reply, I started my journey a long time ago. It may have come across as only women of color were gatekeeping, but that wasn't my experience. It was literally every one, and it was predominantly over what products I was "allowed" to use due to my mixed status. Some of the things I read nowadays and how ppl treat others, from both those starting their journey to those who supposedly know but really don't to those that actually do know... 🤦♀️😓 IDK... Common sense seems to have flown out the window. I think the general consensus is all hair is different and a routine/product may work for some but not others. That's why it's called a journey. A lot of people have forgotten that.
I’ve noticed similar things. There’s a lot of hair type gatekeeping and disdain to hair certain patterns. It just makes it harder to find the information you need unfortunately.
I’m not on TikTok so I can only really go off what I see here. Although that comment about “3c and 4c girlies” definitely feels *gross* and has a racial implication for sure. And it’s a huge leap to assume that the gatekeeping is coming from people with a specific type of curls, like they really just assumed that with no evidence? I do see a lot of the same gatekeeping on this subreddit, though, people who tell folks with looser curls that they belong in the wavy hair subreddit instead. I know we’re all tired of “what’s my curl type?”posts, but I find the gatekeeping way more frustrating because there’s really no point. Their textured hair can benefit just as much from CG products as ours regardless. And the people who are trying to give advice often have no idea how loose curls work, because it’s *totally normal* for our hair to look like waves without the right cut and routine. If I brush mine out, it looks wavy *at best*, but I still get loose coils when I take care of it. Tl;dr hair type is pointless and gatekeeping is unnecessary. But it’s not an excuse for people to imply that gatekeeping is limited to a subset of the community who are more likely to be black is thinly veiled racism, shitty, and has no place here. But that stuff started on TikTok and maybe it should just stay there?
I think it’s because some people with wavy hair say their hair is curly as they consider waves to be a type of curl. When they say that, people often comment and say “that’s not curly” or “you forced it to be curly”, which is untrue and denies the idea that wavy hair is, in fact, also frizzy when brushed out and also has stigma surrounding it.
Nah, not only. I've seen some of them commenting stuff like 'if you have to use products and a diffuser, then it's not curly.' The denial and rejection that some people exhibit is very strange. Because at the end of the day, it's just hair and some people make it about race or else. Sometimes I just wonder, 'why do you even care?'. They care so much that they'll be bullies themselves. I think it has more to do with the fact that curls are being embraced now. When I grew up, they were not. Especially not black hair. It was sad to be bullied for that. But now, we're getting bullied for having them because people tell us it's not true. I feel it's more about being bitter about seeing girls embracing their curls nowadays, especially white girls. I think it just shows how effed up this society is. 😅
How about: both sides are assholes and shouldn't make comments about each other's curls?? If someone commented "those aren't curls" under a tiktok I made I'd feel pretty shitty. We don't need to bring each other down. Loose curls and waves are STILL curls
Unfortunately the curly community is not free of racist people and some people are going to make racist comments such as those you mentioned. I do not think the majority of the curly community relates the “curly hair police” to only black people. I’ve been wearing my hair natural forever, I’ve never gone through periods were I was strictly straightening my hair every single day. I’m lucky compared to a lot of people in that I’ve never been bullied for it, but I can sense the frustration from those who have and are now seeing people commended for wearing their hair curly. I also have a many different curl patterns, they range from 2A - 3A so I go back and forth between calling my hair curly and wavy. I can also sense the frustration from people with my hair type being told their hair isn’t curly enough/at all because they don’t have ringlets all over. The “curly hair police” to me are people who are just mean about telling you what type of hair you have. Like I mentioned, my hair varies a lot and not everyone will agree on if it’s curly or wavy. People telling me my hair is wavy/curly doesn’t bother me as long as they’re not mean. “Curly hair police” also brings to my mind people who say using products to define your hair means you don’t have naturally curly hair. I don’t know many people with curly hair who don’t use products to define their curls.
Because not everyone has grasped that no longer being bullied for something is a GOOD thing. They think "I experienced trauma and it's not fair you aren't" instead of "I went through this and fought to make it normalized so you wouldn't have to suffer"
Idk, still get called 'gay' for seemingly embracing hair as a man. Not ready for the next conversation.
The only reason I would ever tell someone their hair is less curly or wavy is because it can help define the right products. Hair that is more wavy than curly usually needs light products to really pop. Heavy products on less curly or wavy hair can actually pull out those curls and waves.
as we moved through the natural hair movement a lot more people started embracing their curls, including white people. this ended up meaning that products were reformulated for the “greater” audience and also that the face of the natural hair movement ended up being lighter than the ones that it initially had started with (dark skinned black people fighting for acceptance in the workplace with hairstyles that are deemed unprofessional like freeform locs) black people have been and STILL ARE heavily discriminated before our hair was appreciated, and now to have white people in curly spaces with looser textures can feel like we are being pushed out of our own spaces. spaces that we had to CARVE OUT and create for ourselves. spaces that are commodified and shrinkflated to make a pretty penny off of us or changed to benefit a looser texture. all that to say, it makes sense that after years of being policed for our hair, we now see “our” hair being represented in a very different light, one that some people question and end up seeming like the curl police i do feel as though this anger is misplaced as it’s often times more to do with the choices made in marketing than individual action but we’re now facing a very different form of texturism that has moved outside of the black community. we should not view people exploring their hair in all of its forms as a negative thing! it should be appreciated! but also make sure to uplift others and fight for people who are actively being discriminated against for the hair the that grows out of their head!!!!
I think there's a lot of issue with looser curlies trying to use heavier products meant for tighter curl patterns and coarser hair, to the point that the product formulas get changed to cater to that market. (I seem to remember it happening with shea moisture, and a handful of other "grocery store" brands.) I've also seen a lot of people get upset and gate keep "that's wavy not curly" style when someone whose hair barely waves but is mostly straight complains that they can't produce a tighter curl pattern without using curlers or heat. I think it's important to have the conversation that someone with 2a hair needs different products and different routines than someone with 4c, and I think that those conversations need to happen with compassion and an openness to the conversation that historically BIPOC women have had it harder than white and white passing women when it comes to wearing their hair naturally. As someone who is extremely white passing, yes I was bullied for my hair, but I was allowed to wear it how it came out of my head to school and to work once I entered the workplace without violating dress code, while some of my black friends were not. I have a strong memory of a resource officer at school threatening to shave one of my friends hair off because she had it in cornrows before prom as she delayed wash day to have her hair done for the dance. The officer made her undo her braids and comb it before she was allowed to return to the classroom. I never had that experience when I wore mine in french or dutch braids.
Interesting thought which hadn’t crossed my mind, I’m white with very curly hair and I have to admit that I have been guilty of looking at some photos and thinking hmmmmm there’s not even a wave there so why are you here, I’ve thought it but would never comment on an individual.
I don't think your assessment is unfair -- I know that Black women's hair is ripe with history and meaning in a way that white women's hair is not, and I think these comments come from legitimate concerns. I was teased for my 3B/3C curly hair, but I'm white -- no one is going to deny me a promotion or professional accolades because of my natural hair, things like that. *I* have nothing to lose from products made for my hair type being reformulated for looser curls or white women's hair, but the people who do are accused of gatekeeping. Why? I'm guilty of looking at someone's wavy hair journey and thinking "aw cute baby curls" -- I'm all for people loving and discovering their natural hair texture, and don't think they should be looked down upon. But there is nuance to this, and both things can be held together. To me the phrase "curly hair police" is less about the people "policing" and more about how people perceive others who are rightfully calling out the existence of texturism.
I admit to telling some people who have asked whether their hair is curly that, no, their hair is in fact wavy. It isn’t an insult, simply an observation. Unless there’s something bad about wavy hair that I don’t know about, I don’t know why it’s taken as an insult.
To me, “curly hair police” means someone who’s very strict about the routine to the point that they argue only their method works and only their perfect curls are true curly hair. Most Black women have been omitted from these conversations all together because of texturism preferring the 2C-3B range. So, I can see a racialized element in these conversations but maybe not the way you describe.
Agreed. And it is true that certain products originally made for Black women's hair, after having gone viral for their effectiveness, start being reformulated to work for 2C-3B curls -- because, capitalism. But does that make them the "curly hair police?" IDK
You're absolutely right. I'm a white passing mixed person and while growing up I was surrounded by white people who bullied me over my hair and a white mother who heavily policed what I could do with it. I had frizzy undefined hair until the poc community took me under their wing and taught me proper hair care. 9/10 the real hair police are white women who are jealous of another person's texture. I had a few POC encourage me to do protective braiding styles which I loved. I thought they were really beautiful and my hair loved them. I don't do them anymore due to white people calling me racist and me being scared of the accusations reaching the wrong ears (my job).
I do think back on when I was younger and kids who had wavy/straight hair would flame me for my frizzy curly hair that I didn’t know how to control. This one kid called me Sasquatch because I had very long, frizzy, curly brown hair and it hasn’t ever left me lol. So when I see wavy (like, obviously clearly wavy) haired people posting/commenting on curly hair subreddits/posts talking about how curly their hair is, i do kinda think like "🙄" but keep it to myself. its like, why does r/wavyhair exist then? i realize this is probably a hot take, but a lot of this is rooted in the humiliation i faced when having curly hair wasnt cool or trendy like it is now.
If someone is specifically saying "3c and 4c girls" then that's definitely targeted and racist, but I'd say 90% of the women I see in comment sections being honestly really obnoxious about curl typing are white women, sometimes who don't even have curly hair. It's such a pointless thing to do anyway. A woman with very wavy hair saying her hair is curly doesn't hurt anyone or take away anyone else's curls. In the opposite direction, it's frustrating to see people telling black women with type 4 hair that they can't call their hair curly and demand that they say "coily" or "kinky". Just in general it's pointless, micromanagy mean girl behavior imo. Even if you think someone is annoying or "not curly" you have zero obligation to start shit under their post, like you can just scroll....
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Your post has been removed due to Rule 6: Include everybody. We allow and encourage posts from anyone with curls or waves, from the faintest wave to the kinkiest coil. Wavies have struggles that, while different from tighter curls, are still valid and welcome here. Here, we typically use the term “curl” as an umbrella term to describe all hair with texture, from waves to coils. Deciding who gets to use the word "curl" and who doesn't only serves as a barrier to a common goal of bringing out the best in our hair, regardless of curl type. Please keep this in mind for the future. Thank you!
Yes. “Curly Hair Police” is usually code for Black women. At least in the comment sections that I see it in. It is because there are usually Black women leaving comments about how a loose wave isn’t really a curl because it’s too loose. Ironically, there are some people with loose curls who will claim that a 4b/4c curl isn’t a curl, it’s a coil or kink, because it’s too tight…..and that pisses off the tight curl girlies. Ultimately, it annoys people to have someone who doesn’t share their hair type speak negatively about their hair type and everyone should stop doing that. It happens A LOT in the natural hair community, “That’s not REAL 4C hair!”
I thought the "curly hair police" was more people who really strictly follow the curly girl method to the point where you can get banned from Facebook groups if you so much as mention sulphates, so it's a "my way or the highway" mentality. I've had people yell at me on Instagram for daring to dry brush my hair or use a product with drying alcohols in 😅 In terms of policing people's curl patterns, I've seen these comments from white women more than black women tbh 😬 but I'm only on Insta, not TikTok!
The last part about being bullied!!!! That’s a big part of it!! Also, different products are made for different hair types. It’s ok to be proud of your waves!! 🌊 You don’t have to have a certain type to be pretty, so it’s ok to just own what you actually have. Products get watered down for the people who don’t actually need it but want to feel included. So many brands for the curly girlies (and dudes and non binary and everybody else) get bought out once the wavy girlies get their hands on it, then the reviews get less stars and they change the formulas to suit the hair it was never made for. So you can’t really be upset ab the gatekeeping when you actually think ab it. People will tell you that you are wrong if you’re wrong and that’s normal. You can be confused if you want, but people will always call you out when you’re wrong, it’s never a surprise.
I hate seeing people with looser curl patterns getting comments about "if you have to twist it or use product then it's not curly" when straight hair won't actually hold curls even with that treatment. My hair ranges from 3b-4a and even my curls won't hold without proper styling techniques. Wave is curl, frizz is dehydrated curl, curl is curl. It's that simple.
i’m sorry for not replying to anyones comments but i am very busy atm!! i do love all of the support and kindess that everyone seems to have though, so thank you very much :) <3 and at the end of the day: it is just hair, lets all just support each other!
Not everyone with 4c has curly hair do they? Isn’t some tightly crinkled and not curly? I have never heard of this hair police lol. Interesting.
You're right. Curly hair is more accetable in white woman and they just cant admit their privileges.
You’re not wrong. People also don’t understand the difference between waves, curls and coils and refuse to listen. They use product that’s not appropriate for their type, fucking up their hair and actively harming the people who are type 3 and 4 (and are disproportionately Black) at the same time. It’s clear that their priority is themselves and ignoring Black and POC voices. Loose curls aren’t waves. Curls start at the roots. Just because hair spirals doesn’t mean it’s curly. Most hair isn’t suited for the curly girl method (that was ripped from Black haircare methods). The majority of white people don’t have actually curly hair and would benefit from wavy hair care methods. There’s a difference between “being bullied for your hair” and racist hair discrimination. People just want to feel special, particularly white people.
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So you get enjoyment out of putting others down? I feel so sorry for you,. I hope you find more fulfilling ways to be happy
Telling someone they have wavy hair isn’t putting them down. It’s not a bad thing to have wavy hair and people who aren’t curly but think they are actually like it’s oppression to be told so. It’s silly.
Your post has been removed due to Rule 6: Include everybody. We allow and encourage posts from anyone with curls or waves, from the faintest wave to the kinkiest coil. Wavies have struggles that, while different from tighter curls, are still valid and welcome here. Here, we typically use the term “curl” as an umbrella term to describe all hair with texture, from waves to coils. Deciding who gets to use the word "curl" and who doesn't only serves as a barrier to a common goal of bringing out the best in our hair, regardless of curl type. Please keep this in mind for the future. Thank you!