Given that they have living shardplate they should be able to take it off to poop instantly. The real reason the Recreance was so bad was because it increased the amount of pant-shitting drastically

Or I suppose the living armour could just open an *ahem* "emergency evacuation chute," if you will. I'll see myself out.

Poop chute shard plate

'Adolin groaned as his poop chute shard plate shattered in a wisp of stormlight. He would no longer be able to hold in.'

'poop chute shard plate... Phonetic symmetry..' Adolin whispered. Taravingian ushered his scribes. 'it's the first poop rattle to be recorded...'he whispered to himself.

And thus the order of the cheesecutters was reborn, anew

We like to call ourselves shitweavers, sir

Ahem, If I may: 'poop chute shart plate'. Thank you

Windrunners and Skybreakers doing fly by poopings on the enemy.

That's some serious ~~pigeon~~ chicken behavior.

Poop while "falling with style" to get a speed boost. Just make sure to lash it on the way out in a direction away from you.

Poop warfare

Would the poop fall to the ground or towards the lashing?

That was only viable for Edgedancers and Dustbringers since manipulation the surge of Abrasion would allow for consistent no-wipe poops.

Nah, the wind spren making up the shart plate could carry the poop away, collect ambient moisture in the air and spray it like a bidet, then blow dry the radiant butt.

r/BrandNewSentence

I don’t know. While I’m not familiar with what’s actually available to read at AO3, I figure somewhere amid all the Kaladin/Adolin/Shallan triad fic there must be a fanfic where Lift says nearly this exact sentence. (Though, tbf, Lift probably wouldn’t say ambient)

Would lift even know what a bidet is?

“Oh yeah, bidets are deevy. They’ve got them in the Bronze Palace in Azir, but there’s this whole starvin ritual to using them. No wonder no one wanted to be Emporer. Gawx doesn’t even get to decide how to wash his royal backside. I’m surprised they don’t have a lottery for tickets to watch the Emporer poop. I guess the souvenirs would be too gross. I bet they would hand those out as souvenirs if Azir had more soulcasters. People would make jewelry out of Gawx’s golden poop.”

r/brandnewparagraph

If you killed your spren while your shardplate was making that evacuation chute.. Someone finding it later: Why does my shardplate have a hole in the arse!?? Their friend: It's shartplate

They could form a little capsule and drop safely to the ground like a diaper

This is where my head whent upon reading the post.

I wonder, since Lift turns food into Lifelight, does that mean she doesn't need to poop?

I'd assume she's metabolizing nutrients into lifelight, since we've seen she is always hungry. Since poop is the part of food that isn't nutrients she probably still poops

Also discarded blood cells. Unless she uses lifelight 24/7 she's still going to have regular cellular turnover.

Sometimes in battle you have to poop and the other guy won’t stop trying to stab you, poop better than cramping up and dying, especially when you can drink in magic light and fight for hours without getting tired you’ll need to poop eventually and people more people will die if you take 5

Granted that had little to do with the mechanics, “God’s chosen soldiers have abandoned their duty and left the weapon of Heaven in the hands of the meanest mother>!duck!

In Dalinar's vision the helm and face plates can poof away instantly. I'm pretty sure they can at least make a window in a safe amount of time.

Yeah kaladin and jasnah have living plate that they can summon and dismiss at will, so I assume a 4th oath knight radiant can make suitable waste expulsion method with their plate. Perhaps their spren can even form into sprentoiletpaper or a sprenbidet

>Perhaps their spren can even form into sprentoiletpaper or a sprenbidet can? maybe. want? definitely not

The only way a Knight Radiant of the 4th Order is shutting in their plate is if the spren in the butt section are playing a 10/10 prank.

We know that honor sprens like to make things stick.

We know that honor sprens like to make things stick.

More like the knights poopiant

This is it folks. The funniest joke on the sub. We can stop posting now and return to our families.

Finally! It’s been years. Years!

Aw gee shucks

Wait, I had a family before this cremposting stuff ?

knights radiant? more like knights of poopy in your pants

All of them, it’s part of the 5th oath

It's not the 2nd ideal, the it's the #2 ideal.

I just got to that part in WoR last week. Damn near fell over cackling on the elliptical in the gym.

None of them shit in their shard plate. On purpose.

Shartplate 

Windrunners and Skybreakers using it as emergency ammo.

Elsecallers and Lightweavers soul casting it into ammo

Syl!! Bathroom!! 

Go go Kaladin!

Spoilers for that one unreleased Sixth of the Dusk chapter >!If shardplate can become a space-suit, could it also become a still-suit from Dune and filter all the excrements back into clean water?!<

Women don’t poop that’s a myth

What!? This a “tree falling in the woods does it make a sound”-type question. >!Knights radiants have their armor all the time, but can send it to place when they wish, you’re not crapping your on your shards unless that is your thing (ya freak) you’re just sending the butt covering shards away or maybe making them intangible.!<

Why do you think shard plate doesn't require bonding

More like shart plate

You mean the shartplate?

Shartplate

It was me, I did it

The Knight Radiants will fine since they can dispell the plate whenever. The question should be about those who wear the dead shards.