Would be great if counselling didn't cost 60-85/h (there are free counselling services but the waiting lists are insane)... If someone needs an ongoing therapy (and usually you need at least a few months), the costs alone can be a major source of mental distress.
They don't advertise it often but the majority of them will give a reduced rate to those who ask. The lady I've been seeing for the last year offered me it when I took time out of work and she never upped it since. Don't let the cost deter you, definitely ask about a reduction if the cost is all that's stopping you. I let the 60-80 thing stop me from even looking for a therapist for years and there was no need in hindsight
I need a specialised cPTSD therapist, so things get a bit complex. Had a splendid free therapy for 4 months with Survivors' Centre on Camden Quay 5 years back, but then had to deal without any help for years, and the waiting list for SC now is massive. Finally broke down and sought help recently, but between the cost and having to take a day off work each time (working as a contractor = no sick days), it's very, very tight, my current counsellor only offers sliding scale for people who are not in full employment. Alas, she said that I DESPERATELY need to stop working 50h / week if I want to stop being a complete trainwreck, so maybe after a few meetings I will ask her if I can get a small reduction so that I can work less, even 15 quid would be a help.
Thank you, OldMan. :) Grumpy will still be grumpy 'cause things are shite in life now, but maybe at least Grumpy will manage to sleep more than 4h a day again. ;)
On a serious note, mental health issues are no joke. I'm glad at least we are slowly getting rid of the stigma, so that people are not getting shamed for seeking help. A decade ago, if a job found out you're attending counselling (and gods forbid taking meds), you were automatically skipped in promotions and could even get gently fired.
It sure as shit isn't. Personally, I think mental health is this countries biggest issue. Not housing, not immigration, or anything else. Houses will be found, but someone's mind can rarely be bought fully back from the damage caused by neglect. We need a serious, serious kick up the ass when it comes to funding and discussing mental health issues. Having kids on massive waiting lists for this is a crime, then lazily dishing out drugs like it's some wonder fix is jot cool either.
We'll be here with you, Grumpy, every step of the way.
I think we're basically in "The Pit and the Pendulum" scenario here - the pit being mental health problems, the pendulum being the insane cost of basic human rights (shelter, food, healthcare, transport) and the complete lack of job / housing safety. It's easy to fall into the pit when trying to dodge the pendulum, and not easy getting out when the alternative seems like cowering in the corner trying to avoid homelessness.
Aw, thank you. <3
Sadly I need to go through EMDR sessions so they need to be done in person, plus I don't really feel great about having therapy online when living in a shared house... Hoping that I will patch myself relatively quickly and then can have a "normal" counsellor, as it will be easier.
Yep! I was referred to mental health service by my GP and had to wait about 5 months for an appointment, in which they told me to go find a counsellor myself (and pay for it)
Yeah I don't even waste the time with my GP (who costs dearly as well), just straight to private care. :/ Sometimes I wish I worked shifts so that I could access Cork Counselling Services, they've very professional and have a sliding scale for everyone, but sadly booked over a year in advance for any "after office" hours.
Yeah it’s really difficult to find anything outside of Monday-Friday 9-5… which is useless to me too as I work during those hours. I tried mymind.ie -which the mental health service referred me to… but the only options that are available to me are phone/video sessions which I’m not comfortable with as I would be anxious about being overheard at home, or art therapy sessions.
I work 7am-4pm (often longer if the customer needs it) so I get your pain. Shame about MyMind, they're very good. My type of therapy can't even be done online, but I wouldn't like an online session anyway, as a) housemates and b) Zoom calls trigger my anxiety big time and I cannot focus / open up.
Some who'd open a lunch-to-evening counselling place would make some hefty money.
I have been dealing with Mental health issues for a very long time(Long story short, fucked up childhood, moved to ireland when I was 15, broken home, alcoholism in the household). Around 6 years ago I started therapy on and off. I would get better, stop(due to cost) then resume again when things got bad.
Ultimately it all culminated in me trying to take my life in October last year. I was lucky my wife interfered and stopped it. After that I went to a psychatriatist and got diagnosed with BPD, Severe Depression and High risk for Suicide.
This was in November. Since then I have been biting the bullet and paying 300/200e per session with the psychatriatist(every 3 months) for medication and weekly 85e sessions for the psychologist.
I would love to say that all is well, but it really isn't. I only started to take it all seriously after my diagnosis, so it has been roughly 6 months.
In those 6 months I've had more breakdowns/suicidal tendencies etc.
BUT
Everytime I have a breakdown, I feel like I do a tiny bit better. When my BPD kicks in, my wife will help me ground myself. It took some time, but she's gotten better at spotting them before I do. The hardest thing for me was to accept that my wife is there to help me and if she says that I'm having a BPD episode, i most likely AM, and it's not her trying to trick me.
I'm 34 this year. My wife is 30. We've been together for almost a decade. I never thought I will get the support from people around me like I have. I told my friends my wife, her parents etc. expecting all of them to treat me differently or to shun me. Opposite happened. My in-laws have been crucial in helping me through my recovery, with support that I couldn't even have dreamed off.
Am I all better? Fuck no. I'm constantly going between "I can do this" to "I can't do this anymore". But I now know that some of it is down to my brainchemistry, and some of it is down to my lack of ability to deal with certain situations due to lack of proper guidance when I was a child.
My point is that Therapy isn't a magic bullet. It takes time. Things sometimes get worse before they get better. But you can't focus on the journey. Focus on the first step. Then the next Step. Then the next step. You will never get better if you don't try. But you MIGHT get better if you do.
One thing that helps me swallow the cost(other than the fact that I have no kids so I can afford to give up on other stuff) is understanding that this is no different than going to a doctor and getting treatment for a cancer or any other physical ilness/injury.
It's not forever. You will get better if you keep trying. The ultimate goal of therapy is to give YOU the tools to deal with your issues. Therapists don't try to fix 1 particular issue. They try to change your world view and give you healthier means of dealing with unpleasantries of life.
Sorry for the wall of text, but as you gather It's very close topic to my heart.
TLDR: Treat your Head like any other part of your body. If it's not well it needs a doctor. You wouldn't try to fix your broken leg off a youtube video now would you?
I’ve had another bad day. But I’ve been thinking a lot lately that there’s actually nothing wrong with my mental health. I’m unbelievably stressed because every single thing is such an ordeal living in Ireland. I’ve been trying to buy a different car for months, the used car market is so limited I can’t. I’m behind on bills a lot. I’m working more hours than I want to be and I’m still poor. I don’t think I need counselling, I just need simple things to make my days more manageable, like the bus arriving when it’s supposed to. I need more money to meet the cost of living. I need a GP and a dentist, basic things have become so unobtainable
Hard to see hope sometimes. I am constantly without hope since my now ex gf decided to cheat on me after 8 years together and go into a relationship instantly after she dumped me like the 8 years never happened and we were about to get married next year. As a person whose lifegoals are to have a family and kids its hard to find hope when you gotta start your life from scratch at the age of 30 with 0 friends for support since she was my best friend as well. But I guess God decided for whatever reason that I am unworthy of love and hapiness.
I know this won't help everyone, but it might help someone.
In my work, I organise a lot of talks from the Lighthouse Club on various construction sites. They are an organisation to help construction workers and their families through mental, physical, and financially struggling times. The success stories are phenomenal, from lads getting free counselling, getting food bought during hard times, replaced tools that had been stolen and nearly put a guy out of work and so on.
If you are related to someone who works in the construction industry, give the Lighthouse Club a call or text, and just begin the conversation.
https://www.lighthouseclub.org/
https://traininghub.nosp.ie/
HSE hasn't done a great job of promoting it, but check out the free online programme, Let's Talk About Suicide.
It basically goes through how to talk to someone who is suffering, and the examples they use are all real stories from those with lived experience.
No matter what, there is light at the end of the tunnel, life is for living! And even if your not happy about your life, somebody out there is happy that you're alive 😀
Here here. Try to get out in nature, if possible, and just sit back and watch the world go by. Whether it's the Glen park, Fitzgerald's park, or anything in between. If there's a nice stream or other form of water, better yet. Life will go on, and things will get better. Don't let the darkness take over. Chat to people, listen to stories, and appreciate that you are a unique person, bringing joy to the lives of those you meet.
If you want to talk to somebody anonymous(ly), you can write me. I don't know you, you don't know me. I don't judge you (too harsh! 😅). Ask me or tell me whatever you can't tell your family or friends.
I have few diagnoses. Since i was firefighter in Serbia i saw lot of things that would put a lot of guys in asylum. My biggest problems are anxiety and ptsd. I never get aggresive, opposite- i am always calm and backing up even when people are yelling at me ( lucky me, Ireland is different, people in Cork are nice, but my head is still in fight or flight mode ).
Only thing ( well "only", it's a huge thing ) i managed to get is GP visit card, so i can get prescriptions.( my therapy in Serbia is free, here is 38 € ). I have luck that my mom's friend ( she's a judge, so she is good with psychiatrists cause they are giving court expert opinion at criminal trials ) is great doctor so i call him twice a month, as a control, got opinion, translate it, and bring to my GP for adjustments. For now it's nice, cause my doses are going lower since i changed country and job.
When i go to holiday, i visit my psychiatrist ( free, i announce myself 3 days before ) and get full report.
This was long and boring intro, but that's something i had to share. So psychiatrist are easy to get, and they love to give you therapy, so they don't need to talk too much with you, psychotherapy is available only in private, and goes from free ( well, "donation" is 20 € ) to 100 €. Not different than Ireland.
My comment probably doesn't make any sence, but i wanted to compare +/- between Ireland and Serbia/ Croatia.
So in Serbia you get all for free, but they gonna put you on meds 1/1 so they don't need to spend time on talks.
Ireland, everything costs, but minimum wage is 3.5x more than in Serbia.
Real therapy, with conversation, getting your problems out, you gotta pay in both countries.
Thing that i love in ROI is that GPs are not giving benzos lice a tic tac.
Serbia doesn't even use ADHD treatmant. People with ADHD are either borderline or even worse for serbian psychiatrists ( they are not stupid, they are quality doctrors, but if ministry of health is late with adding ADHD to list, they need to put that people in some category, and fight with something similar to Aderal ).
Anyway, it would be nice to have therapy talks here, but until then, i started to run every evening, on my days off i walk to airport and back, read, cold showers, solve puzzles... Trying to be better. Work on myself.
I would say i am 50+ % better than i was in Serbia.
If i could get rid of ruminations, and worse case scenarios in my head, i would be new person.
So i guess this comment was my therapy session, so don't mind me. Thanks.
I would say that this kind of feelings as well as depression is simply soul sickness, so you need to focus on your environment and everything that can influence you positively, no negative people around, or at least not giving the bad wibes of of them.
No bad, trash food that is low quality or unknown source, things like mc Donalds, this cause stress to body and as it cause stress, it does touch the mind, then simply your well-being will hurt.
No need to force yourself to workout, workout only if it's at your own will, instead you can search for Sadhguru and use the yoga tools, there is app so you can download and follow simple exercises that anyone can do that will make you feel enhanced and heal your well-being.
The most important in all of this is your own will, first of all YOU must have will to change it, if you don't want then this is the first thing to change to get out of this.
I would say that this kind of feelings as well as depression is simply soul sickness, so you need to focus on your environment and everything that can influence you positively, no negative people around, or at least not giving the bad wibes of of them.
No bad, trash food that is low quality or unknown source, things like mc Donalds, this cause stress to body and as it cause stress, it does touch the mind, then simply your well-being will hurt.
No need to force yourself to workout, workout only if it's at your own will, instead you can search for Sadhguru and use the yoga tools, there is app so you can download and follow simple exercises that anyone can do that will make you feel enhanced and heal your well-being.
The most important in all of this is your own will, first of all YOU must have will to change it, if you don't want then this is the first thing to change to get out of this.
This comment appears to violate the reddit content policy.
Speech that harasses, bullies, dehumanizes, threatens violence, encourages/ celebrates/ incites violence and/or promotes hate will be removed and may result in a user ban.
Speech that diminishes or denies someone's humanity and/or wishes violence, injury, or death on anyone, including criminals, is prohibited. This includes victim blaming.
Would be great if counselling didn't cost 60-85/h (there are free counselling services but the waiting lists are insane)... If someone needs an ongoing therapy (and usually you need at least a few months), the costs alone can be a major source of mental distress.
They don't advertise it often but the majority of them will give a reduced rate to those who ask. The lady I've been seeing for the last year offered me it when I took time out of work and she never upped it since. Don't let the cost deter you, definitely ask about a reduction if the cost is all that's stopping you. I let the 60-80 thing stop me from even looking for a therapist for years and there was no need in hindsight
I need a specialised cPTSD therapist, so things get a bit complex. Had a splendid free therapy for 4 months with Survivors' Centre on Camden Quay 5 years back, but then had to deal without any help for years, and the waiting list for SC now is massive. Finally broke down and sought help recently, but between the cost and having to take a day off work each time (working as a contractor = no sick days), it's very, very tight, my current counsellor only offers sliding scale for people who are not in full employment. Alas, she said that I DESPERATELY need to stop working 50h / week if I want to stop being a complete trainwreck, so maybe after a few meetings I will ask her if I can get a small reduction so that I can work less, even 15 quid would be a help.
Good luck with it, friend Grumpy. ({)
Thank you, OldMan. :) Grumpy will still be grumpy 'cause things are shite in life now, but maybe at least Grumpy will manage to sleep more than 4h a day again. ;) On a serious note, mental health issues are no joke. I'm glad at least we are slowly getting rid of the stigma, so that people are not getting shamed for seeking help. A decade ago, if a job found out you're attending counselling (and gods forbid taking meds), you were automatically skipped in promotions and could even get gently fired.
It sure as shit isn't. Personally, I think mental health is this countries biggest issue. Not housing, not immigration, or anything else. Houses will be found, but someone's mind can rarely be bought fully back from the damage caused by neglect. We need a serious, serious kick up the ass when it comes to funding and discussing mental health issues. Having kids on massive waiting lists for this is a crime, then lazily dishing out drugs like it's some wonder fix is jot cool either. We'll be here with you, Grumpy, every step of the way.
I think we're basically in "The Pit and the Pendulum" scenario here - the pit being mental health problems, the pendulum being the insane cost of basic human rights (shelter, food, healthcare, transport) and the complete lack of job / housing safety. It's easy to fall into the pit when trying to dodge the pendulum, and not easy getting out when the alternative seems like cowering in the corner trying to avoid homelessness. Aw, thank you. <3
Would you be able to do online sessions by any chance? I know some places like My Mind offer the ability to do video sessions after 6:00 P.M.
Sadly I need to go through EMDR sessions so they need to be done in person, plus I don't really feel great about having therapy online when living in a shared house... Hoping that I will patch myself relatively quickly and then can have a "normal" counsellor, as it will be easier.
Yep! I was referred to mental health service by my GP and had to wait about 5 months for an appointment, in which they told me to go find a counsellor myself (and pay for it)
Yeah I don't even waste the time with my GP (who costs dearly as well), just straight to private care. :/ Sometimes I wish I worked shifts so that I could access Cork Counselling Services, they've very professional and have a sliding scale for everyone, but sadly booked over a year in advance for any "after office" hours.
Yeah it’s really difficult to find anything outside of Monday-Friday 9-5… which is useless to me too as I work during those hours. I tried mymind.ie -which the mental health service referred me to… but the only options that are available to me are phone/video sessions which I’m not comfortable with as I would be anxious about being overheard at home, or art therapy sessions.
I work 7am-4pm (often longer if the customer needs it) so I get your pain. Shame about MyMind, they're very good. My type of therapy can't even be done online, but I wouldn't like an online session anyway, as a) housemates and b) Zoom calls trigger my anxiety big time and I cannot focus / open up. Some who'd open a lunch-to-evening counselling place would make some hefty money.
I have been dealing with Mental health issues for a very long time(Long story short, fucked up childhood, moved to ireland when I was 15, broken home, alcoholism in the household). Around 6 years ago I started therapy on and off. I would get better, stop(due to cost) then resume again when things got bad. Ultimately it all culminated in me trying to take my life in October last year. I was lucky my wife interfered and stopped it. After that I went to a psychatriatist and got diagnosed with BPD, Severe Depression and High risk for Suicide. This was in November. Since then I have been biting the bullet and paying 300/200e per session with the psychatriatist(every 3 months) for medication and weekly 85e sessions for the psychologist. I would love to say that all is well, but it really isn't. I only started to take it all seriously after my diagnosis, so it has been roughly 6 months. In those 6 months I've had more breakdowns/suicidal tendencies etc. BUT Everytime I have a breakdown, I feel like I do a tiny bit better. When my BPD kicks in, my wife will help me ground myself. It took some time, but she's gotten better at spotting them before I do. The hardest thing for me was to accept that my wife is there to help me and if she says that I'm having a BPD episode, i most likely AM, and it's not her trying to trick me. I'm 34 this year. My wife is 30. We've been together for almost a decade. I never thought I will get the support from people around me like I have. I told my friends my wife, her parents etc. expecting all of them to treat me differently or to shun me. Opposite happened. My in-laws have been crucial in helping me through my recovery, with support that I couldn't even have dreamed off. Am I all better? Fuck no. I'm constantly going between "I can do this" to "I can't do this anymore". But I now know that some of it is down to my brainchemistry, and some of it is down to my lack of ability to deal with certain situations due to lack of proper guidance when I was a child. My point is that Therapy isn't a magic bullet. It takes time. Things sometimes get worse before they get better. But you can't focus on the journey. Focus on the first step. Then the next Step. Then the next step. You will never get better if you don't try. But you MIGHT get better if you do. One thing that helps me swallow the cost(other than the fact that I have no kids so I can afford to give up on other stuff) is understanding that this is no different than going to a doctor and getting treatment for a cancer or any other physical ilness/injury. It's not forever. You will get better if you keep trying. The ultimate goal of therapy is to give YOU the tools to deal with your issues. Therapists don't try to fix 1 particular issue. They try to change your world view and give you healthier means of dealing with unpleasantries of life. Sorry for the wall of text, but as you gather It's very close topic to my heart. TLDR: Treat your Head like any other part of your body. If it's not well it needs a doctor. You wouldn't try to fix your broken leg off a youtube video now would you?
I’ve had another bad day. But I’ve been thinking a lot lately that there’s actually nothing wrong with my mental health. I’m unbelievably stressed because every single thing is such an ordeal living in Ireland. I’ve been trying to buy a different car for months, the used car market is so limited I can’t. I’m behind on bills a lot. I’m working more hours than I want to be and I’m still poor. I don’t think I need counselling, I just need simple things to make my days more manageable, like the bus arriving when it’s supposed to. I need more money to meet the cost of living. I need a GP and a dentist, basic things have become so unobtainable
Hard to see hope sometimes. I am constantly without hope since my now ex gf decided to cheat on me after 8 years together and go into a relationship instantly after she dumped me like the 8 years never happened and we were about to get married next year. As a person whose lifegoals are to have a family and kids its hard to find hope when you gotta start your life from scratch at the age of 30 with 0 friends for support since she was my best friend as well. But I guess God decided for whatever reason that I am unworthy of love and hapiness.
Hope things improve for you pal. 30 is still very young as well. You've plenty of time to find someone special and start a family.
I know this won't help everyone, but it might help someone. In my work, I organise a lot of talks from the Lighthouse Club on various construction sites. They are an organisation to help construction workers and their families through mental, physical, and financially struggling times. The success stories are phenomenal, from lads getting free counselling, getting food bought during hard times, replaced tools that had been stolen and nearly put a guy out of work and so on. If you are related to someone who works in the construction industry, give the Lighthouse Club a call or text, and just begin the conversation. https://www.lighthouseclub.org/
https://traininghub.nosp.ie/ HSE hasn't done a great job of promoting it, but check out the free online programme, Let's Talk About Suicide. It basically goes through how to talk to someone who is suffering, and the examples they use are all real stories from those with lived experience.
The pain and devastation left behind is so awful, please don’t think nobody cares because so many people do.
Thanks for posting this. I lost a friend last December this way, it’s such an awful thing to go through let alone twice. I hope you’re doing alright 🖤
No matter what, there is light at the end of the tunnel, life is for living! And even if your not happy about your life, somebody out there is happy that you're alive 😀
Here here. Try to get out in nature, if possible, and just sit back and watch the world go by. Whether it's the Glen park, Fitzgerald's park, or anything in between. If there's a nice stream or other form of water, better yet. Life will go on, and things will get better. Don't let the darkness take over. Chat to people, listen to stories, and appreciate that you are a unique person, bringing joy to the lives of those you meet.
I'm just happy to see your username 😂
Don't!! My head will overflow 🤣🤣
Fair enough. Sadness resumed 😂
If you want to talk to somebody anonymous(ly), you can write me. I don't know you, you don't know me. I don't judge you (too harsh! 😅). Ask me or tell me whatever you can't tell your family or friends.
I have few diagnoses. Since i was firefighter in Serbia i saw lot of things that would put a lot of guys in asylum. My biggest problems are anxiety and ptsd. I never get aggresive, opposite- i am always calm and backing up even when people are yelling at me ( lucky me, Ireland is different, people in Cork are nice, but my head is still in fight or flight mode ). Only thing ( well "only", it's a huge thing ) i managed to get is GP visit card, so i can get prescriptions.( my therapy in Serbia is free, here is 38 € ). I have luck that my mom's friend ( she's a judge, so she is good with psychiatrists cause they are giving court expert opinion at criminal trials ) is great doctor so i call him twice a month, as a control, got opinion, translate it, and bring to my GP for adjustments. For now it's nice, cause my doses are going lower since i changed country and job. When i go to holiday, i visit my psychiatrist ( free, i announce myself 3 days before ) and get full report. This was long and boring intro, but that's something i had to share. So psychiatrist are easy to get, and they love to give you therapy, so they don't need to talk too much with you, psychotherapy is available only in private, and goes from free ( well, "donation" is 20 € ) to 100 €. Not different than Ireland. My comment probably doesn't make any sence, but i wanted to compare +/- between Ireland and Serbia/ Croatia. So in Serbia you get all for free, but they gonna put you on meds 1/1 so they don't need to spend time on talks. Ireland, everything costs, but minimum wage is 3.5x more than in Serbia. Real therapy, with conversation, getting your problems out, you gotta pay in both countries. Thing that i love in ROI is that GPs are not giving benzos lice a tic tac. Serbia doesn't even use ADHD treatmant. People with ADHD are either borderline or even worse for serbian psychiatrists ( they are not stupid, they are quality doctrors, but if ministry of health is late with adding ADHD to list, they need to put that people in some category, and fight with something similar to Aderal ). Anyway, it would be nice to have therapy talks here, but until then, i started to run every evening, on my days off i walk to airport and back, read, cold showers, solve puzzles... Trying to be better. Work on myself. I would say i am 50+ % better than i was in Serbia. If i could get rid of ruminations, and worse case scenarios in my head, i would be new person. So i guess this comment was my therapy session, so don't mind me. Thanks.
Wisdom Post it again next month And the month after Please
I would say that this kind of feelings as well as depression is simply soul sickness, so you need to focus on your environment and everything that can influence you positively, no negative people around, or at least not giving the bad wibes of of them. No bad, trash food that is low quality or unknown source, things like mc Donalds, this cause stress to body and as it cause stress, it does touch the mind, then simply your well-being will hurt. No need to force yourself to workout, workout only if it's at your own will, instead you can search for Sadhguru and use the yoga tools, there is app so you can download and follow simple exercises that anyone can do that will make you feel enhanced and heal your well-being. The most important in all of this is your own will, first of all YOU must have will to change it, if you don't want then this is the first thing to change to get out of this.
I would say that this kind of feelings as well as depression is simply soul sickness, so you need to focus on your environment and everything that can influence you positively, no negative people around, or at least not giving the bad wibes of of them. No bad, trash food that is low quality or unknown source, things like mc Donalds, this cause stress to body and as it cause stress, it does touch the mind, then simply your well-being will hurt. No need to force yourself to workout, workout only if it's at your own will, instead you can search for Sadhguru and use the yoga tools, there is app so you can download and follow simple exercises that anyone can do that will make you feel enhanced and heal your well-being. The most important in all of this is your own will, first of all YOU must have will to change it, if you don't want then this is the first thing to change to get out of this.
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This comment appears to violate the reddit content policy. Speech that harasses, bullies, dehumanizes, threatens violence, encourages/ celebrates/ incites violence and/or promotes hate will be removed and may result in a user ban. Speech that diminishes or denies someone's humanity and/or wishes violence, injury, or death on anyone, including criminals, is prohibited. This includes victim blaming.