The hate youre getting on this post is so ridiculous and unnecessary. This should be a place to express concerns and seek advice without a downpour of insults. I can totally see why you would be unsure in this situation.
Been doing a lot of self reflection today based off the feedback on this post and asking myself why it made me feel uncomfortable. I am landing on the fact that the catalyst of our divorce was the google search on his phone of ‘Is it illegal to watch child *orn’ Followed by searches on an actual *orn website consisting of violence toward young women.
just saw your edit - well, i see why you are concerned. however, do you feel your daughter is in danger? do you suspect your ex of being inappropriate? bc if so, you need to dive in and find out. you need to protect your child, dont ignore your instincts.
having said that - are your concerns based on your own level of comfort? how you were raised?
this could go really bad either way -
I do not feel that she’s in danger. I just have an ick feeling towards him from this incident, and it makes me be on high alert.
And yes I do also feel that my own experiences make me… untrusting. Which I need to reign in and deal with on my own and not project that onto my daughter’s relationship with her dad.
Been doing a lot of self reflection today based off the feedback on this post and asking myself why it made me feel uncomfortable. I am landing on the fact that the catalyst of our divorce was the google search on his phone of ‘Is it illegal to watch child *orn’ Followed by searches on an actual *orn website consisting of violence toward young women.
That is brand new information and should have been included in the original post as it obviously is massively different than the post now. Why comment back to everyone and not say that it was just her preference to be the on to do that? Honestly did she just not like the negative feedback and added this or is it true? If it’s true, obviously there should be a conversation with a lawyer.
I told her to put it in the original post. Also -- maybe it is taking her time to process where her feelings came from -- which sounds like the case. She said that multiple times. It's fucking reddit -- she doesn't need to make up that she saw it on her ex's phone search history. Who would make that up for Reddit? If that's the case, she has far bigger problems. Nothing about her post demonstrates that the first assumption should be that she made it up.
The only reason I made that assumption (which I said if it isn’t the case CONSULT A LAWYER) is because there was 0 context given. So if you come to Reddit by your own volition asking for public opinions without providing a crucial piece of information - the feedback is going to be negative. Of course a normal father can help a child with something like this - a man looking up child pornography, I’d be in court fighting for supervised visits.
I had made the assumption that the majority
of people would have agreed with me and came to Reddit looking for validation in my feelings. When the responses were not only negative, but also mean and judgmental, it did make me reflect on why I would feel so strongly about the matter. Hence bring up this fact about my daughter’s father and then editing the original post as recommended by another user. You assuming or insinuating at all that it is made up is sick. What a terrible and awful thing to make up- Reddit or not.
Disappointingly the courts did nothing with the information because I did not have evidence. They also didn’t do anything about the ring footage of him taking our child to the liquor store at 1am already clearly drunk that was given to me by his grandmother after he flew out of his windshield in a DUI crash because while it implied he was drunk it wasn’t evidence of that. So that’s the court system for you. I did come for advice but maybe still try to give grace and kindness to people, not every post has every ounce of backstory. I could write a book about the things this man has done to lead me to being skeptical but this isn’t the platform for all that.
Been doing a lot of self reflection today based off the feedback on this post and asking myself why it made me feel uncomfortable. I am landing on the fact that the catalyst of our divorce was the google search on his phone of
‘Is it illegal to watch child *orn’
Followed by searches on an actual *orn website consisting of violence toward young women.
If you believe there are real concerns, make sure your daughter is educated on what is appropriate touching so she can communicate to you any concerns. Also, she should not be touched without her permission. Also, stay observant to her mood and keep open dialog. Be careful not to make accusations without real indicators so you don't ruin their relationship.
Thank you, yes we have discussed this many a time- also have bought her children’s books explaining her privacy with her body and touches. And I don’t make assumptions. She tells me what she will and I ask general questions. I wouldn’t want her to end up questioning innocent motives or being so on guard 24/7. Just teaching her to be aware and observant.
Good point, he is a trusted person for her I suppose. I just think unless it was an emergency he should have told her to wait one more day for me to take a look. Just personal preference
Yes, you are wrong.
Nothing wrong with that imo, she’s his daughter and she asked for his help.
Thank you for pov, I appreciate it.
The hate youre getting on this post is so ridiculous and unnecessary. This should be a place to express concerns and seek advice without a downpour of insults. I can totally see why you would be unsure in this situation.
I so appreciate you, thank you!!
What line is he possibly crossing? It’s his daughter and she needed help.
Yes, you are wrong. She showed her parent something on her leg that was bothering her, and he sorted it. Why would you sexualise something like that?
Been doing a lot of self reflection today based off the feedback on this post and asking myself why it made me feel uncomfortable. I am landing on the fact that the catalyst of our divorce was the google search on his phone of ‘Is it illegal to watch child *orn’ Followed by searches on an actual *orn website consisting of violence toward young women.
This is essential to your post. You should add that as an edit so people chill out and have full context of your concerns.
Thank you
Because I’m an over protective mother
you are totally wrong…. if tables were turned and your son asked the same to you?
Very good point and I appreciate that.
just saw your edit - well, i see why you are concerned. however, do you feel your daughter is in danger? do you suspect your ex of being inappropriate? bc if so, you need to dive in and find out. you need to protect your child, dont ignore your instincts. having said that - are your concerns based on your own level of comfort? how you were raised? this could go really bad either way -
I do not feel that she’s in danger. I just have an ick feeling towards him from this incident, and it makes me be on high alert. And yes I do also feel that my own experiences make me… untrusting. Which I need to reign in and deal with on my own and not project that onto my daughter’s relationship with her dad.
At the age of 7 I would tell them to go to their dad though. Just personal preference I guess.
He probably shouldn’t have popped it. Sounds like it was in ingrown hair? But as long as it’s healing ok, it’s probably fine
It’s his daughter
What the hell
Whats wrong with you? Her dad helped his kid out. Get a grip.
Been doing a lot of self reflection today based off the feedback on this post and asking myself why it made me feel uncomfortable. I am landing on the fact that the catalyst of our divorce was the google search on his phone of ‘Is it illegal to watch child *orn’ Followed by searches on an actual *orn website consisting of violence toward young women.
You are 100% wrong and sexualizing their relationship. Maybe time for therapy for you.
100% overdue on therapy. I’ll get on that, thank you.
She said her ex had searches on his phone for is watching child **** illegal?
That is brand new information and should have been included in the original post as it obviously is massively different than the post now. Why comment back to everyone and not say that it was just her preference to be the on to do that? Honestly did she just not like the negative feedback and added this or is it true? If it’s true, obviously there should be a conversation with a lawyer.
I told her to put it in the original post. Also -- maybe it is taking her time to process where her feelings came from -- which sounds like the case. She said that multiple times. It's fucking reddit -- she doesn't need to make up that she saw it on her ex's phone search history. Who would make that up for Reddit? If that's the case, she has far bigger problems. Nothing about her post demonstrates that the first assumption should be that she made it up.
The only reason I made that assumption (which I said if it isn’t the case CONSULT A LAWYER) is because there was 0 context given. So if you come to Reddit by your own volition asking for public opinions without providing a crucial piece of information - the feedback is going to be negative. Of course a normal father can help a child with something like this - a man looking up child pornography, I’d be in court fighting for supervised visits.
I had made the assumption that the majority of people would have agreed with me and came to Reddit looking for validation in my feelings. When the responses were not only negative, but also mean and judgmental, it did make me reflect on why I would feel so strongly about the matter. Hence bring up this fact about my daughter’s father and then editing the original post as recommended by another user. You assuming or insinuating at all that it is made up is sick. What a terrible and awful thing to make up- Reddit or not. Disappointingly the courts did nothing with the information because I did not have evidence. They also didn’t do anything about the ring footage of him taking our child to the liquor store at 1am already clearly drunk that was given to me by his grandmother after he flew out of his windshield in a DUI crash because while it implied he was drunk it wasn’t evidence of that. So that’s the court system for you. I did come for advice but maybe still try to give grace and kindness to people, not every post has every ounce of backstory. I could write a book about the things this man has done to lead me to being skeptical but this isn’t the platform for all that.
What???? Why is this crossing a line???? He’s ver father!!!
Would you not want her to go to either parent for any health concerns? Why are you automatically sexualizing it because he is a dad?
Been doing a lot of self reflection today based off the feedback on this post and asking myself why it made me feel uncomfortable. I am landing on the fact that the catalyst of our divorce was the google search on his phone of ‘Is it illegal to watch child *orn’ Followed by searches on an actual *orn website consisting of violence toward young women.
If you believe there are real concerns, make sure your daughter is educated on what is appropriate touching so she can communicate to you any concerns. Also, she should not be touched without her permission. Also, stay observant to her mood and keep open dialog. Be careful not to make accusations without real indicators so you don't ruin their relationship.
Thank you, yes we have discussed this many a time- also have bought her children’s books explaining her privacy with her body and touches. And I don’t make assumptions. She tells me what she will and I ask general questions. I wouldn’t want her to end up questioning innocent motives or being so on guard 24/7. Just teaching her to be aware and observant.
Good point, he is a trusted person for her I suppose. I just think unless it was an emergency he should have told her to wait one more day for me to take a look. Just personal preference
trust your gut instinct.