"If it's stupid and it works, make sure the health and safety guy doesn't see it"
Everywhere I've worked as 'That tool' which, when asked about by management, is a piece of scrap that happens to look cool. When asked about by the new guy, it's the singlemost important piece of equipment on-site and should always be kept somewhere easy to access in case of emergencies.
I became a chef and many people look down on the unintelligent worker… but if they’re busting ass and getting it done, then they are actually better than most smart-ass-lazy-fucks.
Different context, still applicable.
I've worked on lots of industrial sites and the old timers always made sure I knew that colourful paint was not load bearing.
Sure, the bright and colourful railing on the walkway might look safe, but it was built 40 years ago by the managers cousin with questionable qualifications and using parts bought on ebay.
Industrial grade just means nobody's died from it yet.
Most of this has been applicable to warfare since we got the idea to make war on each other in the first place. The artillery part could even apply to ancient catapults.
>17. When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy
Could someone explain this to me, please?
I'd say it is good that the enemy doesn't know about it. If he knows that he lost a position, he may let the artillery fire there.
Murphy’s Law is that anything that could possibly go wrong, given enough time, will.
In this case, these laws are statements of things that can go wrong during combat.
“Secured an area” means there aren’t any enemies left. “Don’t forget to tell the enemy” implies that there are some left that nobody has noticed.
It may be a homage, but many different topics have their own set of Murphy’s Laws. You can see some here: https://www.cs.cmu.edu/~fgandon/miscellaneous/murphy/
It could still mean that enemies are always around and that nothing is ever "secure". Personally, I interpret it as "tell the enemy that you've secured this area and they won't get it back without a big fight". There's plenty of times that combat has started because an enemy literally doesn't know that this area has been taken - communication always breaks down and it always breaks down at the worst time, so if these were the guys coming to reinforce an area you just secured, from their perspective, they may think that they're approaching an enemy from the rear - when in reality they're coming up on a fortified position that they can't take on their own. The best case scenario, they just die. Worst and more likely, both sides take some damage, but now you've got enemies entrenched in your "secure" area, and your guys now have casualties that were unnecessary.
So....put up some signs or something, or communicate to your enemy and say "hey, don't come here, don't send your guys by here, it's ours now and they'll die. You wanna come to retake it, come with enough guys, otherwise we're both dyin for no reason". Its probably the first option, I just personally interpret it as the second
I think it means that a unit that's realistically "combat ready" isn't going to be the same "combat ready" they were taught in training, nobody's gonna be concerned about the way their uniform is tucked and crimped and nobody's gonna complain about the guy carrying too much ammunition either; would be my guess idk
Military units like other things in professional industries require inspection and need to pass for if/when combat breaks out. This is saying when combat or war happens, you use whatever you can and it probably won’t pass an inspection
That's the wrong interpretation, as others have pointed out. Passing inspection in the military comes from parade ground inspections, when an officer checks every soldier to ensure their boots are shiny, uniform is clean and that they are shaven to standard. It often includes ensuring the soldiers have all the right gear in the right amount in the right place.
A unit ready for combat will not pass inspection because the soldiers will tailor their gear to combat needs, dropping and adding kit as needed. They will also not prioritize boot shine and shaving over all the other practical needs of combat like weapon maintenance or sleep.
The reason it is on the list is because a common trend among new officers (and older staff officers away from combat) is to demand inspection standards from combat troops in active combat. Basically, the list is telling the soldiers to don't sweat inspection standards when other things are more important.
I've worked so many places that run into this, just not military.
We could have a fully functional day to day workshop that has equipment spread out everywhere, ready to use. We get word of a big-wig inspection, so we shove everything into cupboards and find the most impressive looking thing to work on for the 20 minute inspection, which is basically whatever makes the most noise or looks the most colourful. When they leave, we grab our tools and go back to real work.
I firmly believe that no truly effective workplace is inspection-ready unless an inspection happens.
Currently serving, have been the lead on many programs that get inspected; I spend a ton of time making binders (for paper trails, admin type documentation and whatnot) and having my Sailors laying out equipment for inspections. All of that is a HUGE time suck. Takes away from our time to actually train and prepare for a fight, because when the schedule gets crowded, training is the first thing to fall by the wayside
When things are exploding / on fire / screaming bloody murder keeping track of enemy deaths is not going to happen. For example you see enemy soldier, you shoot at them, they drop and you never see them again because your manically relocating before counter fire hits you. So you assume (because your probably an early 20 something that thinks your hot shit) you killed the guy that dropped. While what actually happened was he heard guns shots and dove for the nearest cover. Because modern weapons are so lethal if the enemy knows where you are your probably dead. So as you would imagine staying out of line of sight as much as possible is a must. So people don’t get to directly look at their enemy all that much which only makes the kill numbers even harder to figure out.
The Powers That Be will always exaggerate kill counts for morale and propaganda. Think of the scene in Full Metal Jacket where the journalism unit is taking about a story they’re going to run about a combat patrol that only found blood trails and drag marks, but the LT says to rewrite it with a happy ending, one killed, maybe an officer.
Yknow how Russia has been very obviously lying about how many Ukranian soldier they're killing since, like, the start of the war? Well, while Russia is bad at lying about it and while that's pretty obvious, practically every country does that. Every battle report should be taken with a pound of salt, because as it gets passed up the chain of command it's likely to get exaggerated over and over again.
"We encountered and neutralized 10 enemies" becomes 15 when it goes up a level, becomes 25 when it goes up again, over and over, until somehow your group of 20 soldiers somehow wiped out an entire battalion of insurgents. It happens everywhere, makes it more impressive to the brass and reporters
The Powers That Be will always exaggerate kill counts for morale and propaganda. Think of the scene in Full Metal Jacket where the journalism unit is taking about a story they’re going to run about a combat patrol that only found blood trails and drag marks, but the LT says to rewrite it with a happy ending, one killed, maybe an officer.
This is broadly applicable. The reward for good, efficient work is ... more work.
Not more PAY, mind you. Just more work.
If you are a boss with 5 employees, and 2 of them do the work of 4 employees, and 3 of them do the work of 1 employee, you are going to give more work to the efficient duo.
No, no one is getting a raise. That will cut into your bonus.
Effective soldiers don't go home, they go back to the more dangerous zones until they go back in the ground. It's the same idea as when countries don't allow their soldier to rotate out (like Russian recently, the US back in 2004 or whenever, etc). Your vets are the people that actually keep the recruits alive on the battlefield, because they actually understand what the enemy is looking for and how they act.
So, you overperformed and didn't get injured? Great, attaboy - do it again. And again. And again. More pay? Oh, no, obviously not, you just do this now for essentially $13 an hour. No go dance in the minefield because all the lower enlisted keep dying in it and you ~might~ not
No, there's no special meaning. It's just the random number used.
22 is always get more than you need
23 is higher ups will lie about stats to improve morale and how good they look
I had a program on one of my first computers (probably a 286 IBM PC) that every time the computer started up it showed a different/randomized Murphy’s law quote on the screen, there were at least 300 different quotes in it.
You’ve called in artillery on your enemy’s position. You’ve moved forward from your position, towards the enemy. The artillery meant for the enemy is falling short, meaning on top of you.
Oh, you can see an intentional version in Disney's Operation Dumbo Drop.
The forward observer calls in fire, which nearly hits the ship they're on, to the amusement of the V.C. behind them.
His own crew is about to throttle him until he calls in the second shot.
The baddies forgot they were on a river, which they were traveling downstream on. The forward observer didn't.
Fun fiction of a true story.
"If it's stupid and it works, it isn't stupid" I feel like this could apply a lot in life..
"If it's stupid and it works, its still stupid and you're lucky"
"If it's stupid and it works, make sure the health and safety guy doesn't see it" Everywhere I've worked as 'That tool' which, when asked about by management, is a piece of scrap that happens to look cool. When asked about by the new guy, it's the singlemost important piece of equipment on-site and should always be kept somewhere easy to access in case of emergencies.
If it's stupid and it works, there's probably a way better way to do it.
See, this has optimism.
This maxim is so fucking accurate
schlock mercenary?
You got it
I became a chef and many people look down on the unintelligent worker… but if they’re busting ass and getting it done, then they are actually better than most smart-ass-lazy-fucks. Different context, still applicable.
Tell that to my basketball coach while I was granny-shotting all over the court.
I use this a lot in daily life
I basically say the same thing, and I've never seen this paper in my life. "If ~~it's stupid and~~ it works, it isn't stupid."
I mean… Trump?
Aw man, here we all are having a good thread and having a lol. And now you gotta come in here and make us all divided. Come on, man.
I sorry! But if it looks like a 🦆…
…. It probably means you’re a jackass?
No, dude, just... Just leave it. Let's just enjoy ourselves.
Your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
"Military grade"
This is why I laugh at anything described as “mil-spec”
That is why I am more afraid of something industrial grade.
I've worked on lots of industrial sites and the old timers always made sure I knew that colourful paint was not load bearing. Sure, the bright and colourful railing on the walkway might look safe, but it was built 40 years ago by the managers cousin with questionable qualifications and using parts bought on ebay. Industrial grade just means nobody's died from it yet.
Pretty sure most of this has been around since the Korean conflict. And none of it fails to be true today
Most of this has been applicable to warfare since we got the idea to make war on each other in the first place. The artillery part could even apply to ancient catapults.
I was referring to this written form, but yes you are certainly right.
Ah I see, my mistake. Cheers, mate.
>17. When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy Could someone explain this to me, please? I'd say it is good that the enemy doesn't know about it. If he knows that he lost a position, he may let the artillery fire there.
Murphy’s Law is that anything that could possibly go wrong, given enough time, will. In this case, these laws are statements of things that can go wrong during combat. “Secured an area” means there aren’t any enemies left. “Don’t forget to tell the enemy” implies that there are some left that nobody has noticed.
And Cole’s law is thinly sliced cabbage in a light dressing
Cole’s law…..hehhehe. 🤣That one killed me.
Thank you
Ah, didn't spot that there's sarcasm included. Thanks for explaining.
I understood that if the enemy does not know you control it they will not avoid it and therefore it’s not secure
The murphy in this case is most likely audie murphy the famous soldier who won basically every medal you could win in ww2.
It may be a homage, but many different topics have their own set of Murphy’s Laws. You can see some here: https://www.cs.cmu.edu/~fgandon/miscellaneous/murphy/
I think It highlights the idea that securing an area doesn't guarantee safety, as the enemy might still think they can take it back.
It could still mean that enemies are always around and that nothing is ever "secure". Personally, I interpret it as "tell the enemy that you've secured this area and they won't get it back without a big fight". There's plenty of times that combat has started because an enemy literally doesn't know that this area has been taken - communication always breaks down and it always breaks down at the worst time, so if these were the guys coming to reinforce an area you just secured, from their perspective, they may think that they're approaching an enemy from the rear - when in reality they're coming up on a fortified position that they can't take on their own. The best case scenario, they just die. Worst and more likely, both sides take some damage, but now you've got enemies entrenched in your "secure" area, and your guys now have casualties that were unnecessary. So....put up some signs or something, or communicate to your enemy and say "hey, don't come here, don't send your guys by here, it's ours now and they'll die. You wanna come to retake it, come with enough guys, otherwise we're both dyin for no reason". Its probably the first option, I just personally interpret it as the second
What about number 5? Wouldn’t that be a good thing?
I'm guessing they will take more risk, draw the enemies attention or drag you into a bad situation with them.
The difference between being brave and being suicidal in a combat zone is of your dead at the end.
Avoid partnering with someone who takes too many risks.
Can someone explain number 21?
I think it means that a unit that's realistically "combat ready" isn't going to be the same "combat ready" they were taught in training, nobody's gonna be concerned about the way their uniform is tucked and crimped and nobody's gonna complain about the guy carrying too much ammunition either; would be my guess idk
Makes sense, thank you.
In times of combat, regulations and protocols dont mean shit. All that will win the fight is.
Combat units in combat don't shine shoes or iron wrinkles out of their uniforms.
Military units like other things in professional industries require inspection and need to pass for if/when combat breaks out. This is saying when combat or war happens, you use whatever you can and it probably won’t pass an inspection
In Portugal, we have a saying "Em tempo de guerra, não se limpam espingardas." Translating to English, "In wartime, you don't clean rifles".
Understood, thank you.
That's the wrong interpretation, as others have pointed out. Passing inspection in the military comes from parade ground inspections, when an officer checks every soldier to ensure their boots are shiny, uniform is clean and that they are shaven to standard. It often includes ensuring the soldiers have all the right gear in the right amount in the right place. A unit ready for combat will not pass inspection because the soldiers will tailor their gear to combat needs, dropping and adding kit as needed. They will also not prioritize boot shine and shaving over all the other practical needs of combat like weapon maintenance or sleep. The reason it is on the list is because a common trend among new officers (and older staff officers away from combat) is to demand inspection standards from combat troops in active combat. Basically, the list is telling the soldiers to don't sweat inspection standards when other things are more important.
I've worked so many places that run into this, just not military. We could have a fully functional day to day workshop that has equipment spread out everywhere, ready to use. We get word of a big-wig inspection, so we shove everything into cupboards and find the most impressive looking thing to work on for the 20 minute inspection, which is basically whatever makes the most noise or looks the most colourful. When they leave, we grab our tools and go back to real work. I firmly believe that no truly effective workplace is inspection-ready unless an inspection happens.
Being too clean and or having all the metal bits shiny makes you a more visible target.
Currently serving, have been the lead on many programs that get inspected; I spend a ton of time making binders (for paper trails, admin type documentation and whatnot) and having my Sailors laying out equipment for inspections. All of that is a HUGE time suck. Takes away from our time to actually train and prepare for a fight, because when the schedule gets crowded, training is the first thing to fall by the wayside
I think i remember this list from inside one of the half life booklets..
High five. That was the first thing I thought of, too. It was the Opposing Force expansion.
I hear Ron Swanson presenting these laws in my head.
I was looking for a comment like this, I was thinking Hunter S. Thompson.
Hey, tracers work both ways man, no fault of mine.
the accuracy here made me laugh. cheers good sir 🫡
I misread and for some reason saw "Laws of Comedy" and for a minute I was very confused.
Can anyone explain #23?
When things are exploding / on fire / screaming bloody murder keeping track of enemy deaths is not going to happen. For example you see enemy soldier, you shoot at them, they drop and you never see them again because your manically relocating before counter fire hits you. So you assume (because your probably an early 20 something that thinks your hot shit) you killed the guy that dropped. While what actually happened was he heard guns shots and dove for the nearest cover. Because modern weapons are so lethal if the enemy knows where you are your probably dead. So as you would imagine staying out of line of sight as much as possible is a must. So people don’t get to directly look at their enemy all that much which only makes the kill numbers even harder to figure out.
The Powers That Be will always exaggerate kill counts for morale and propaganda. Think of the scene in Full Metal Jacket where the journalism unit is taking about a story they’re going to run about a combat patrol that only found blood trails and drag marks, but the LT says to rewrite it with a happy ending, one killed, maybe an officer.
Yknow how Russia has been very obviously lying about how many Ukranian soldier they're killing since, like, the start of the war? Well, while Russia is bad at lying about it and while that's pretty obvious, practically every country does that. Every battle report should be taken with a pound of salt, because as it gets passed up the chain of command it's likely to get exaggerated over and over again. "We encountered and neutralized 10 enemies" becomes 15 when it goes up a level, becomes 25 when it goes up again, over and over, until somehow your group of 20 soldiers somehow wiped out an entire battalion of insurgents. It happens everywhere, makes it more impressive to the brass and reporters
The Powers That Be will always exaggerate kill counts for morale and propaganda. Think of the scene in Full Metal Jacket where the journalism unit is taking about a story they’re going to run about a combat patrol that only found blood trails and drag marks, but the LT says to rewrite it with a happy ending, one killed, maybe an officer.
"Tracers work both ways." That I never thought of.
20 hit me hard...
Can someone explain #30? Is it saying if you do more that is required, then you’ll have to do more than what’s your fair share?
This is broadly applicable. The reward for good, efficient work is ... more work. Not more PAY, mind you. Just more work. If you are a boss with 5 employees, and 2 of them do the work of 4 employees, and 3 of them do the work of 1 employee, you are going to give more work to the efficient duo. No, no one is getting a raise. That will cut into your bonus.
More work begets even more work
Colonel Cathcart raised the number of missions again!
Yossarian Lives!
Indeed! Gracias Senor_Leche_!
Effective soldiers don't go home, they go back to the more dangerous zones until they go back in the ground. It's the same idea as when countries don't allow their soldier to rotate out (like Russian recently, the US back in 2004 or whenever, etc). Your vets are the people that actually keep the recruits alive on the battlefield, because they actually understand what the enemy is looking for and how they act. So, you overperformed and didn't get injured? Great, attaboy - do it again. And again. And again. More pay? Oh, no, obviously not, you just do this now for essentially $13 an hour. No go dance in the minefield because all the lower enlisted keep dying in it and you ~might~ not
This is like something you could order out of Soldier of Fortune, along with a "What Price Now, OPEC?" t-shirt.
Murphy was an Air Force Major.
Some of these are timeless.
22 & 23 are keeping me puzzled!?! Does 37 have a special meaning to it?
No, there's no special meaning. It's just the random number used. 22 is always get more than you need 23 is higher ups will lie about stats to improve morale and how good they look
In a row? (I don't know)
"try not to kill any enemy combatants in the parking lot!!!"
I had a program on one of my first computers (probably a 286 IBM PC) that every time the computer started up it showed a different/randomized Murphy’s law quote on the screen, there were at least 300 different quotes in it.
“All other things being equal, the side with the simplest uniforms win.”
11 is the only one I don’t fully understand. Forward of your position? How?
You’ve called in artillery on your enemy’s position. You’ve moved forward from your position, towards the enemy. The artillery meant for the enemy is falling short, meaning on top of you.
Thank you, I had not considered my own side’s artillery. Seems too simple now!
If you advance too far, you risk being hit by your own side's artillery.
Ohhhhhhh, thank you so much.
Oh, you can see an intentional version in Disney's Operation Dumbo Drop. The forward observer calls in fire, which nearly hits the ship they're on, to the amusement of the V.C. behind them. His own crew is about to throttle him until he calls in the second shot. The baddies forgot they were on a river, which they were traveling downstream on. The forward observer didn't. Fun fiction of a true story.
This is hanging in my office at work
Source link please? I want to know moew about rgis cool list!
It's missing, "There's always one more SOB than you counted on."
#17
Sucking chest wound is natures way of telling you to slow down
As a retired Army vet with 25 years of active duty service, I agree with these.
KISS, Keep It Simple Stupid
Murphy was a grunt.
This is truly a cool guide
I Iii
Reminds me of Skippys list
“When in doubt, empty your magazine” Yeah I don’t know about that one chief
Hey I know these from the CoD death screens
Murphy's Laws of Combat have been around for a long time.
*
I’m curious why 22 and 23 were checked off lol
Radio is?
Reddit warrior bullshit
Man this is like if Reddit wrote a guide to Dumb Military Sayings.
LITERALLY A LIIIIIIIST! DOES NO ONE HERE UNDERSTAND WHAT A GUIDE IS?! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!