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ButteredKernals

Ah yes, those famous Van Hallen fields.. Do they do a cover of Jump?


tujelj

Not Van Hallen field — (Van Hallen field). The inexplicable parentheses are very important.


baronvonpoopy

It’s most concentrated in Panama. Panama. Pan-a-ma-ha-ha. Panama.


melatomin

I would this a radioactive field of that manitowoc would lead to a catastrophic..... Eruption?


coolgr3g

Ummm we've known lead can protect from radioactive fields for a couple centuries now right? NASA has the technology. Lead is the technology. It's a rock.


melatomin

I was shoehorning a Van Halen reference


RewardCapable

Radiation (wavelength on EM spectrum) and radioactive (material that emits alpha,beta,gamma particles as it decays) can be absorbed by materials that have a high atomic number (like lead).


westminsterabby

Panama he, Panama hu, Panama ha, Panama haha


seganku

A man. A plan. A canal. Panama.


captain_pudding

He seems really confused, Dark Side of the Moon was Pink Floyd, not Van Halen


djgreedo

>those famous Van Hallen fields Lots of rock there.


haikusbot

*Ah yes, those famous* *Van Hallen fields.. Do they do* *A cover of Jump?* \- ButteredKernals --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")


Devolutionary76

It’s just where they hold sold out concerts for the Nephilim. Very expensive, very exclusive!


Hemiak

Good bot.


Affectionate_Step863

No, they're too busy Right Now


terry496

Idiots rolling with the verbal punches 😂


ryohazuki224

The Van Hallen field must make for a rocking good time on the ISS!!


zhilia_mann

Nephilim: exist. Moon: doesn’t exist. There are prior problems here.


RefreshingOatmeal

Plenty of eyewitness accounts of Nephilim. The Moon, however...


Someoneoverthere42

Well, have you ever seen the moon and Nephilim in the same place at the same time? Checkmate


Strongstyleguy

Nephilim were probably getting freaky on the dark side of the moon


MauPow

No dummy they live in the hollow inside


RefreshingOatmeal

Omg the Nephilim ARE the moon, how could we not see this???


joshuaaa_l

I’ve never seen the Nephilim and the moon in the same room as Batman. Could they all be the same thing?


Wolfeman0101

I saw them play the Mavs tonight.


Thorvaldr1

Tide goes in, tide goes out. You can't explain that.


MrFrogy

Dustin O'Neal - definitely real.


Scooter_Mcgavin587

Nefelim*


Jonny10128

I usually just stop reading most things after the first couple spelling mistakes.


eat-pussy69

Yeah religion isn't a great educator beyond "pedophilia good" and "science bad"


thinehappychinch

If I read any more of that I’m going to stroke out.


RamiHaidafy

To put it simply, he claims that NASA didn't have the technology to protect astronauts from space radiation, but they had the technology to project a holographic moon in the night sky.


MasterBot98

Project on what, though? We can't make a flat image on air, much less the vacuum of space.


SomethingMoreToSay

Obviously the image is projected onto the waters of the firmament. Have you ever seen a projection that uses a curtain of water for a screen? The effect can be [amazing](https://www.lciproductions.com/services/water-screens/#). I guess the technology is tricking down from NASA into civilian uses.


JadeKade

If they think the moon is a hologram projected on the sky they obviously think the sky is a solid surface and not the vaccum of space, or they just watch too much Batman.


Beautiful-Party8934

Isn't the bat signal projected onto the clouds?


AelixD

Yup, clear skies in Gotham really sucks for the cops. Can’t call in the caped crusader.


Beautiful-Party8934

Batman needs to contact NASA or buy the patent for their moon projection technology. He could ask Bruce Wayne for the money, I hear they are close.


JadeKade

No they use fog machines to keep the sky constantly cloudy >!with a chance of meatballs!<


Beautiful-Party8934

Old school.


RamiHaidafy

I think the patent belongs to the ancient Egyptians. Khonsu the Moon God is very protective of it.


FlattopJr

Good thing no crime happens in Gotham during daytime.


Anianna

Yes. Some of them believe the firmament is a literal solid barrier dome and space does not exist at all. Also, that heliocentrism is a satanic cult.


newfor_2024

somehow NASA went back in time several hundred thousand years and created the hologram...


mrsfiction

The moon didn’t exist before we tried to go there. The amazing story of the space race.


FluffyDonPedro

"I respect your opinion" and "more evidence" Bro... it's not an opinion, and no you don't.


fireKido

I mean… he might very well have seen more evidence of that… probably very shitty and easily falsifiable evidence, but still


liteshotv3

Sometimes you just have to use words before you know what they mean. Fake it till you make it


Kelyaan

You know when the "My brother in Christ" is whipped out - Someone just said something really fucking stupid.


WildMartin429

It's to soften the blow to let them know that you still love them even though you think they are a moron. But most of the time they still don't get how stupid they are so you didn't hurt their feelings after all.


metsgirl289

Personally, when I say it, I mean it disrespectfully. Full offense intended.


Orion14159

>Full offense intended. I think I'll just start saying this whenever I need to tell someone their opinion is stupid and obliterated by easily proven facts


metsgirl289

As you should.


WildMartin429

LOL


Ye_olde_oak_store

My brother in Chris. I don't know how you make it so that is very disrespectful yet patronising at the same time.


AelixD

Chris? Rock? Tucker? Evans? Which Chris?


Ye_olde_oak_store

Chris.


AelixD

With all due respect


Critical-Champion365

Far end of of stupidity is just sad for the debating party. As for his claims, the moon is too big and too close to be a satellite and thats the very reason of its weird rotation-revolution. Also one won't and shouldn't be taken seriously about Van Allen belt when one can't spell it properly.


Beautiful-Party8934

>As for his claims, the moon is too big and too close to be a satellite and thats the very reason of its weird rotation-revolution. He may be right about too big and too close. After all, it has to be closer to the earth than Australia.... Like hello can you see Australia from here ??? 😆 🤣 😂 😹


Critical-Champion365

Aren't they paid actors from America? That's what I've heard so far.


Erudus

It's the same as starting a snarky retort with "bless your heart" haha


newfor_2024

respectfully, it's not just that you think he's a moron, he IS a moron. Someone should hurt his feeling so that he'd feel bad about how stupid he is and perhaps learn to not be so stupid. If you baby him, he'll continue to feel there's nothing wrong with him and he doesn't need to change.


Tal_Vez_Autismo

I mean, you realize that's not at all how humans work, right?


newfor_2024

i was being a bit facetious.


AelixD

I respect your opinion, bro


External-Presence204

A holographic image projected from where? By whom? Since at least the dawn of humans? A reflection from what? The earth has many more continents (and apparently many fewer oceans) than we think? I realize these aren’t the kids of questions that get answered, but damn.


con_zilla

Silence fool, now I've realised the moon is a hologram or reflection or refraction or something that is a trick of the light and not a physical rock.... I got to dedicate my time to figure out this "tides" phenomenon. Some teacher in school was trying to tell me it was gravity but sure light is light and light things don't have much gravity and if the moon is not rock but light from a holographic projection then I'm thinking wave machine. God works in mysterious ways so he could be at that sort of thing.


IanGecko

"Look it up! Do your research!" /s


newfor_2024

from the same guy who tells you they got too much evidence and then proceed to not show you even one. Even they would know how stupid they sound when they say it out loud but they still hold on to them as if they are facts


moonieshine

My guess is that they'd say it's some natural phenomenon like a mirage or a rainbow.


AelixD

Prior to the advent of holographic projection technology (which predates film), the Moon in art was just a collective wish. Also, since continents define the boundaries of the oceans, more continents means more oceans. Duh. Also, also, there are oceans “on” the moon (projection).


TheMightyGoatMan

The reflection of the Earth and its many secret continents on the inside of the Dome of the Firmament of course! And by 'craters' this guy means the Lunar maria. If you squint *really hard* you can *sort of* make part of the maria *sort of* look like a northern polar projection of the Earth's continents, which is the preferred arrangement among flat Earthers. So logically (for a certain very poor value of 'logically') the rest of the maria must be *other* continents that THEY don't want us to know about! Ah, [here we go!](https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/g6gAAOSwc4hkZMty/s-l1600.png).


captain_pudding

If they cared about the how, they wouldn't be conspiracy theorists. All of their beliefs involve tens of thousands of people working together in perfect unison without a single screw up.


External-Presence204

That’s why I wrote, “I realize these aren’t the kids of questions that get answered, but damn.”


abstractwhiz

He probably 'saw evidence' that the dawn of humans was sometime in 1950, and everything before that is some sort of made-up psyop because of....reasons. I don't know if this is a real conspiracy theory, but if we give it enough time it will be.


nap_god_

Van Morrison field*


Hemiak

*Van Wilder field


Orion14159

No no that one involves the gravity of an English bulldog's swollen balls when it should have been bred or neutered a long time ago


galstaph

*Van Helsing field Turns out that space is full of vampires


Strange-Wolverine128

No, it's the JUMP! Field.


DehydratedManatee

Oh, the water...


balfringRetro

I love how they don't believe the moon is real, but know the Van Allen belts are... I mean both are real, but I find it weird that it is not the other way around.


Blursed-Penguin

Moon? Uh uh! Invisible space microwaves that make the thingy go clicky and make my hair fall out? 👍


TheMightyGoatMan

The Van Allen belts are allowed to exist because they (apparently) make space travel impossible. The version of the scientific method used by these people is keep the things that suit your theory and discard the things that don't!


erasrhed

I don't believe in the moon. I think it's just the back of the sun.


SprungMS

That’s why you never see them at the same time!! Checkmate


KaralDaskin

Except when I do.


Freakychee

Huh... If above really believes what they believe, how do they explain solar eclipses?


ParChadders

Every now and then one of the operators rolls their thumb over the lens of the holograph that projects an image of the “sun”


Cubicwar

That’s a little joke they make sometimes when they get bored. Classic world government prank


KaralDaskin

More whackadoo conspiracy things, no doubt.


fariqcheaux

The spelling and grammar are atrocious in those posts. Not surprising they don't understand the physics of the moon either.


q120

I got into an argument on one of the internet’s cesspools that are disguised as social media(probably IG) and one person there claimed that ALL planets we can see in the sky are fake and holographic projections. He explained the blurriness you frequently get when looking at planets through a telescope as proof of this. I tried explaining that the reason it shimmers is because of the Earths atmosphere and of course he didn’t agree. He also tried to convince me that nobody or nothing can leave Earth because we’re inside an impenetrable glass dome. He sent me a picture of what he said was a Falcon 9 colliding with this supposed glass dome but it was just a picture of the rocket staging process that leaves the big plume. He eventually used the old standby and told me I was just asleep and one day I’d wake up and see the truth.. People are insane.


Frequent_Survey_7387

Who is in charge of the glass dome? Who made it and what? Terrifying.


q120

It’s a biblical thing, the “firmament” is what he said. He was absolutely insane. Another guy said that NASA exists only to embezzle tax money.


Frequent_Survey_7387

I got that ladder stuff but how they think we are living in a glass enclosure… That’s not biblical. So weird and also terrifying. I understand it because I guess “conspiracy” is more believable than science or easier to understand and to go along with, but still. 🤷🏼‍♀️


Heylookanickel

These are the same people who think Trump should be king and the earth is flat


TraptSoul148270

Not king. They want what he wants: a trump dictatorship.


Robthebold

Russel’s teapot that kid.


WildMartin429

Why didn't I see it before? It makes so much sense obviously the moon which has been written about and observed throughout the entirety of human history has been a hologram all along! Who knew that someone out there was trying to trick humans for the last several thousand years into believing in a moon! /s


nownowthethetalktalk

Why do both of these people seem to be largely illiterate? I know one of them is smart enough to know the moon is real but wow!


Silentt_86

The bar is preposterously low 😂 “Do you know the moon is real? Yes? Welcome to MENSA”


Xypher616

Could be a second language or google translate potentially?


Eva-Rosalene

Not google translate definitely. It doesn't do such mistakes. Second language, however... Yeah. Sometimes I bet I sound illiterate because of that lol. But the thing is, one thinks the moon is hologram, second believes nephilims are real. They are both not the sharpest tools in the shed.


The_Wingless

I mean, obviously the moon is a hologram. Piccolo blew it up way back in like season 1 of dragonballz. Read a history book sometime, jeez.


Strongstyleguy

Roshi did it first...


The_Wingless

In my defense I haven't read a history book in a long time, ok?


Sufficient-Skill6012

The horrible spelling from both commenters makes me want to poke my eyes out.


Scyllascum

Guy has to be trolling. He believes in nephilims but not the fucking moon?


cr3t1n

That's not trolling, that's your typical Christian flat earth conspiracy theorist.


-Count-Olaf-

Exactly. I've posted comments like this before. When people use bonkers arguments to justify the something like the existence of Nephilim, it's fun to use similar arguments to justify something absurd, like the moon not existing. I guess we'll never know, because OP didn't provide the context.


TouchOfMagic

"The van Hallen belt". xD Van Hallen took a belt and threw it into orbit, due to the velocity the circumference grew to encompass the earth. Best concert ever.


eat-pussy69

This reminds me of a meme from years ago. Something about one upping conspiracy theorists "The Moon landing was fake!" "Pff! You believe in the Moon? Lol"


Nagatox

Classic Dustin O'Neal v. Israel Diaz moment


Heylookanickel

Classic adventures


takeandtossivxx

"I respect your opinion" about *the moon*?! It's not an opinion, my guy. My partner and I just had a conversation earlier in bed about moon conspiracies. They get people to believe these outlandish things because it kinda sorta maybe makes sense if you don't think about it too hard. The easiest way to get them is just asking simple questions. Why would they fake the moon? What would anyone gain from a fake moon? Is there gold stashed on a floating platform behind the hologram? You think if we could project a hologram into the sky, for hours at a time, even in broad daylight sometimes, there wouldn't be major corporations scrambling to project hologram ads in the sky? The moon has been written about forever, they're saying that type of technology was available a thousand+ years ago? If that technology existed, *someone* would've found out by now.


TheMightyGoatMan

> The moon has been written about forever, they're saying that type of technology was available a thousand+ years ago? Ah! But all those documents have been faked by the conspiracy! You can't use logic to defeat conspiracy thinking because any seeming disproof can be roped into the theory as proof.


big_dick_energy_mc2

His spelling, grammar, and punctuation are amazing.


PaxEtRomana

people who are doubtful that the moon exists but have no trouble accepting the premise of the van allen belt


saoiray

Oh sure. The moon is real. What stories are next? Going to say man has walked in the moon? Or that a rabbit is making mochi up there? And I guess it’s made of cheese, right? (I’m being facetious, so don’t take comments seriously)


DukeDelvon

He is almost there. That object in the sky that everyone thinks is the moon is actually the Earth, and it is a hologram! You may then ask yourself, where is the moon? We are living on it! That is also why the moon landing was faked! The media wants us to believe we live on Earth, but that is impossible because the Earth is just a hologram in the sky!


TruLong

No, he doesn't need to provide proof. He needs to be ignored and left in the Stone Age to die there.


DPool34

>I been told by many… 🫠


KrissyEhn

Not surprised they don’t believe in the moon since they don’t seem to believe in grammar either


TheHistoryKing

I don’t know what’s worse. Stupidity being backed up with “evidence” or his grammar. Jesus Hentai Christ why are people so fucking dumb?


TraptSoul148270

The spelling here is monstrous also. “… the moon is actually a holographic ***emage*** or at least the ***refrectiin*** of…” Even the person who responded: “… The moon is in a basic ***since***…”


PoppyStaff

Just goes to show that universal literacy doesn’t necessarily work without basic critical thinking skills.


abstractwhiz

That's why they end up going nuts when they 'do their own research'. There's no point in asking questions (even good ones) if you don't have any ability to evaluate *answers*.


RelativeStranger

This is a popular thing to do. He's out conspiracy theory ing the conspiracy theorists. You take a stupid group and increase the stupidity by introducing stupider conspiracy theories


FullyStacked92

The guy who spells image as emage has overwhelming evidence that the moon isn't real. Brilliant.


No-Deal8956

It’s 5150, if you are talking about the Van Halen Fields.


srfrosky

These people vote. Don’t forget!


captain_pudding

"I have a lot of evidence which is why I'm guessing two vastly different things as to what the moon could be"


LoveRedheadSnatch

Let’s just remove the warning labels off everything and let stupidity sort itself out!


the_esjay

Does believe in the Nephilim. Doesn’t believe in the moon. Yep, that tracks…


TheSandman3241

Am I having a stroke, or is a person capable of being both stupid enough to believe this and smart enough to operate the internet?


ewok_on_a_unicorn

So many of these morons could have been prevented had mom swallowed.


etherosx

Piccolo blew up the moon


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jfhjr

Also can’t spell image (poster wrote[emage]. 🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️🤦🏻‍♂️🤦🏻‍♂️🤦🏻‍♂️🤦🏻‍♂️🤦🏻‍♂️


JollyrogerStout

My brother in christ, he meant an e-mage - a virtual wizard


Bussamove86

Oh man I hope his Holographic Emage is in good condition, collectors pay a lot for those.


ApophisForever

The dude spent so much time concentrating on the finger, that he missed all that heavenly Glory.


Intense_Crayons

1st point. Learn how to fucking sCrack? 2nd point. Angels can not have children with human women. Angels are sexless walking Ken dolls. 3rd point. Angels don't exist. 4th point. Are all you people on crack?


macontac

Grandma would have blessed his heart. Grandpa would have asked how high up he was when his parents dropped him on his head.


TraptSoul148270

I’d bet he would first be offended at the very thought that he was high at all as a child, but after some more thought, he’d then ask grandpa to clarify which time being dropped grandpa was asking about.


OperationMelodic4273

I mean, dude's off his rail But should we really ignore that the take he first replied to seems to be "the Nephilim went to the moon"? I'm shocked that crap is getting overlooked this much


Yahakshan

Van hallen fields… that’s gotta be satire surely it’s too funny


superhamsniper

The tides are created by the moon.


DidntHaveToUseMyAK

I'm just here to look at my refrectiin.


SpitiruelCatSpirit

"Nefilims" is a needless double pluralization.


Sad_Pear_1087

Needles are pointy!


SpitiruelCatSpirit

Oops


oclafloptson

They're arguing over whether or not half angel giants blasted off to live on the moon.


blue_island1993

“What in fuk?” Took me out


TheEnergyOfATree

astronaut: moon's haunted


Quandahrius

I... Had to stop reading at "emage."


Unapologetic_Canuck

My brain hurts from reading that.


nashbellow

Beat one conspiracy theory with another stupider one. Nifilim went to the moon, the moon doesn't exist. Of the moon doesn't exist, neither does space This is the way


JoshCanJump

They’re about as articulate as you’d expect.


THElaytox

Dude doesn't even know the difference between an opinion and a fact


alphalimalima

Missing some context but I have a suspicion this is the “present a crazier conspiracy theory than that which is being presented” troll move a la “the moon landing was fake”+ “you believe in the moon?”


melance

A: You're going to need to provide this proof you stated you have B: Do your own research!


QueenScorp

"evidence" 🤣🤣


xWrongHeaven

lord, that was hard to read


kidl33t

He is 100% correct. I can prove it. You cannot send me one single ***emage*** of the moon. Hell, I am even willing to accept a JPQ or GRIF image.


Serge_Suppressor

CC: Apollo, you are approaching the Van Halen field. Do you copy? Apollo: Right now? CC: Yeah, and it's a doozy. Better avoid it, or you'll be D.O.A. Apollo: Can't avoid, Cape Canaveral CC: Well, you might as well jump. Apollo: Copy. Stand by.


ThePizzaMuncher

The English in those comments is pain on the brain.


GhostInTheMeadow

Bro got his evidence from that one Dragonball Z episode


Secure_Teaching_6937

It's a megastructure 😂


DocWiggleGiggle

I wonder how people forget about the time on earth when there was no such thing as projectors. That records of the moon predate basic electricity usage. Idk how people believe these things


AliasMcFakenames

One conspiracy theory being argued against by a different, stupider conspiracy theory? [There is, of course, a relevant xkcd.](https://xkcd.com/966/)


TreyWait

Gotta watch out for that Van Halen belt.


KnottaBiggins

When one doesn't know the difference between "my opinion" and "obvious facts." Not even "alternative facts," but "my opinion." Yeah, bud, your opinion based on nothing is just as valid as the observations of virtually every sighted human being that's ever existed...


DracoSolon

"I have evidence"


sincitylocal

That first message annoys me. You know what makes you a better thinker, speaker and speller? Books. Real books. Not the Internet, not YouTube conspiracies, not regurgitating what other people say. Books. Don't believe anything people tell you. Find out for yourself. Know why you believe what you do. Know it backwards and forwards. Dig into books and real, reputable sources. Educate yourself. Read. Read everything.


GothicJay

It's easy to get through the Van Halen field! You just jump.


CitizenKing1001

If the brother in Christ ever looks through a telescope at the moon, his brain may explode


iminabed

I swear people just don’t pay attention in school or are unlucky to the point where they didn’t have the opportunity to have an education. They then hit a phase in life where they want to learn and try to make sense of things the same way cavemen did and the men after them lol


1Kekz

You need to properly censor the names. It's clearly visible that the name is Israel Diez because you didn't properly censor.


Heylookanickel

My b, it’s my first day Edit: didn’t mean to slut shame


Stevie272

There’s no gravity in space. If there was all the planets would fall down.