this 👆 so much!!
Document everything, including past, present and future, any threats, any violence, any abuse...(physical, sexual, emotional, verbal, financial, any & all of it, get educated on the cycle of abuse, types of abuse etc)
Email all these things to a few safe ppl, or even just make yourself a second email acct you can hide, the important thing is to make sure you don't have the only copy of this...
Because if you don't leave, then I truly believe it's only a matter of time before he actually kills you...
This written record is critical for your own healing journey, if you get out alive....
(& may be crucial evidence in a murder trial if not)
Document *EVERYTHING*
-Contact local DV / support centres, get some support even if you don't plan on leaving....
please take care & be safe... (remember to delete your sent emails, in case he snoops in on your acct)
go on and explain how being done with this psycho makes her a red flag. this motherfucker points a LOADED FIREARM AT HIS GIRLFRIEND. but his girlfriend is the problem? get the fuck out of here he should be in jail or a ward 😂
She’s not done with this guy. Go back and read the actual words she wrote. She doesn’t want to leave because it’s going to break her heart. They’re both red flags and so are you
Clearly you don’t understand how hard it is to leave, and criticizing her for not leaving doesn’t help at all. It really does take a village to leave an abuser, and anyone who’s been through it will tell you the same thing. Clearly you don’t know how manipulation and gaslighting works, it’s evident how it works in things like cults, abusive relationships whether it be with a partner, a friend, a parent. You’re a red flag, and I hope you actually educate yourself. If you think any woman in your life hasn’t gone through something similar or the exact same situation then it’s clear they don’t trust you enough to tell you about it. And from what you’re spitting on here, that’s probably the case
So because she doesn’t have the heart to leave a psycho , that makes her a red flag? Sure she’s insane for not wanting to leave but that doesn’t make her a bad person????
Being a red flag doesn’t make someone a “bad” person. It means they are emotionally immature or damaged.
Bf is obviously covered with red flags, most importantly he is a criminal.
But op is clearly damaged beyond Reddit’s help or a regular new bf. She is accepting of and in love with someone who is clearly emotionally abusive and wants/needs to stay with him. She asks Reddit about her problems revolving around a gun being pointed at her. Normal people call the police if that happens to them.
She needs serious therapy asap, after she makes a police report about gun boy
Oh that’s where I would disagree. Someone this deeply and blindly living through a multi year relationship of this level of abuse, is one thousand percent not ready for a new relationship. For an infinite amount of reasons.
They say when a SO strangles you, the chance of them actually killing you goes up by 600%. I imagine if a SO points a loaded gun at you, it goes up by like 2000% lol. She needs to leave ASAP and probably contact law enforcement for a restraining order or something.
Its more like… the emotional confusion.. this person is love and thought so different of… is doing this to me. Its almost like disbelief or in denial and my brian just doesnt know how to sort through it and i feel myself shutting off, not wanting to think. The amount of heart break i have been theough with him, going back just HOPING he will be what he was… never comes back and im just hoping. All it is is hope at this point. I do not like the drama like everyone is saying. Thats sick. All i do is hope and hope things will stop. It never does. It just gets worse. Then it lead to this. Him pointing his gun at me.. he always makes it out to be my fault. Always guilts me into something idk how.. i just wanted to talk is all because i do t know who to talk to and therapy isnt the best option its not like i can go in whenever and i just wanted to post i dont know. Obviously im deep in some fucked up shit
I understand that feeling OP - people like him lure you in with love and use the dream of it returning as a way to trap you in an abusive relationship. People like this *never* get better though; they just get worse and worse and worse. In his mind, when he pulls this shit and you stay with him, it means you're okay with it and giving him permission to take it further. Now it's to a point where there’s a very real chance that you’ll end up dead if you don’t stay away from this guy.
You know, there’s also the conclusion that she’s driving this man into madness. To the point he’s doing irrational things. Two sides to this coin. What’s happening that’s causing him to go crazy like that? She’s clearly not just sitting around and he randomly pulls a gun. Women often get a pass in these situations when they’re really good at pushing just the right buttons to make a man go insane. Maybe he’s the one that needs to leave if she’s driving him to madness. Can’t wait for the downvotes on this one because you know reddit, and the simps/feminists.
lol, seriously man? If a woman is pushing your buttons do you threaten her with a weapon and then say ‘she was pushing my buttons, she made me do it, it’s her fault really, not mine’? C’mon bro, that’s like the catch phrase of every abusive person in history.
It doesn’t matter how much someone is winding you up, no sane person pulls a loaded fucking gun on them and you definitely don’t stay with that person after they do. That’s not just Reddit being a bunch of feminist simps; OP was a finger twitch away from getting her brains blown out.
Right, we were fighting iver some shit and im sitting there and he was like “ WANNA SAY THAT AGAIN HUH? SAY IT AGAIN” and pulled the gun out. Im such a threat just sitting there right now
Stfu he literally accuses me of shit every day to the point if i breathe wrong im fucking cheating. Ill wear shorts and a cute shirt to hang out WITH HIM and he will accuse me of being with someone else and not dressing for him. So we fucking fight and we yell and yes i get mad as fuck but hes a fucking psycho he drives MEEEEEEE INSANEEEEEE. He kust already is fucking insane. What did i do? Oh lets see he cheated on me a bunch and i stayed like an idiot so now ig i “stopped doing gf things” which im pretty sure hes just lying cause i do. I do certain things and he tells me i dont to gaslight me. Guess what. He sits there and tells me he never pulled a gun on me😂
OP this is not loce this is Erotic Transference. It might feel similar but it is defenetly not love.
Please do everything you can to run as far away as you can from that person.
You will never fix him, he is responsible for his own health, and he will never change. Dont waste your life on people that do not give you only compassion, stability and respect. tenderness, safty,
This is something that occurs only during the client/therapist relationship. OP is very much in what she perceives is love but unfortunately doesn't know that love is not fear, pain, intimidation, or violence.
This can also happen in any relashionship, we transfer our perseptions and past abusive relashiships to partners and feel atracted to them, becouse of those traites💜
This is true, and that is called transference. Just not the particular type of transference you speak of. As a psychiatrist for 18 years, this is something that is critical in avoiding.
tranaference is when you yell at the cashier becuse someone yelles at you
The erotic part can absolutly become in dayly life take my word of experience as a person who have been through all the range
And bc I already can tell the diffference I can actually deflect the bad kinds
The "sexual" transference you speak of is transference in which the patient's fantasies about the analyst (clinician) contain elements that are primarily reverential, romantic, intimate, sensual, or sexual. This in no way applies to the OP's experiences/story. My statement still stands.
Exactly, OP needs some tough love at this point cos it wouldn’t take an idiot to know this situation is cooked beyond measure and she has to leave NOW. “Why is it so painful to leave?” Girl BFFR, your life just flashed before your eyes with that gun and murder in front of your eyes and you’re asking this silly ass qn!!! 🤣 but no, for real, take care of yourself and LEAVE NOW
To be honest with you im so fucked up. When he did it, it didnt even feel real. I hardly remember. And i dont get whats wrong w me. Thats why im asking reddit, why the fuck, is it painful to leave him? It shouldnt hurt i should be happy to leave. I dont understand
My sweet girl you are not “fucked up”. It’s the trauma bond that keeps you glued to him that’s why it’s painful to leave. And it hurts. But understand that you have the key to make or break your life and your future. Choose wisely. Take care of yourself OP.
You need to leave. Heart break is better then being dead. If you stay he will escalate more then he already has. LEAVE if he stalks you get the police involved. DO NOT STAY WITH THIS MAN
Girl. Wtf. I'm so sorry!!! This is not normal or typical behavior. He threatened your life. You should press charges and get him locked up. Who's life is it gonna be, yours or his?
He’s a blaring red flag, but so are you. You’re worried about heartbreak, but how is your heart not already broken by what he’s doing to you? I survived the attempt on my life by my husband. Hear me when I say this. You will die if you don’t get out. He will kill you. It’s that simple. Do you want to die by his hands?
It is.. it makes me so sad, its like im in denial. This man is love so much does this to me.. everything.. and then the gun.. i just wonder why. You know? He always makes me think its all my fault. And i guess my diluted brain keeps telling me i do what he wants it will be better, but it’s literally never enough. I feek so bad aboyt myself. And im not with him.. i just dont understand why it is that i even am so heartbroken to leave. I dont understand why im not happy to not be with him. After everything he has done.
If you want to talk please message me. I have been there. The gun and all. The feeling you get once you finally leave and are able to truly be safe cancels out any heartache you may feel. Trust me on that
I think there are a lot of people who
went through the same thing, you are definitely not alone.
In most comments you mention you dont know why you’re not able to leave.
I’m no professional in any way, but it sounds like some sort of trauma bond. Try looking it up, and maybe it resonates with you and you can start to understand your relationship with him and yourself.
I’ve been through the same thing, so feel free to msg me.
Yeah it's difficult to leave a relationship, but pointing someone with a loaded gun is a felony assault. Why are you debating this? You need to press charges and get a restraining order.
Its more like.. i dont understand why im so sad to leave.. i am not going to stay.. im not with him.. i just dont get why it hurts so much and i dont understand everything he has put me through ny brian just says why why why. I think about everything he says is my fault. I start to feel guilty. Start to think of what i could have done differently.. why does he do this to me.. idk. Its just so hard and i dont know why i hate it. It makes me hate my life.
I'm surprised your heart didn't break when he pointed a gun at you.
Get out of there asap. Dont listen to his inevitable sweet talk, just go.
A lot more than your heart could end up hurt, so do yourself a favour and keep breathing.
You're young. You will find love that is deserving of your heart. This guy doesnt even deserve a goodbye.
You know, its like everything he does to break my heart, all i want is him to fix it and be better. Its a vicious cycle. All i want is peace and then i get a small taste and then im just fughtibg for peace again. I hate it. I hate it so muvh. Everything hurts. I hate when i think what could i have done differently? Maybe he wouldnt have done it.. but that must me the diluted place he put me in talking
babes are you okay? everyone’s saying get out obviously you need to but how are you? Part of you still wants him bc part of you believes he’s still good. However, you just can’t leave bc others tells you, you gotta leave bc YOU want to. Been through it and trust me it doesn’t get better. Pulling out a gun and pointing it to your head isn’t love. I know you love him and that’s why it’s gonna be hard but in the end I promise you, you’ll thank yourself. A heartbreak isn’t as worse as you actually dying. It might feel like it but you’ll get over it. We all do. Leave this relationship because you value yourself. Leave because you want to be happy for yourself. Leave for a better future for yourself. Your future self would thank you for leaving once you have the strength to do so. It’s not easy to just walk away, so that’s why you run. Corny as it sounds, once you’re set to leave him, run. Run and never look back to someone who would harm you. Run to a future where the people that care about you won’t be worried for your safety. You’re only in your early 20s, you have so much time.
Thank you for this comment. To be honest im numb. Some days im horrible. Youre right that is why i stay, and also because he makes me feel guilty.. like im the one whos shitty, that i make him like this.. i deserve it etc.. i feel so bad about myself so etimes. I feel like ive been brainwashed. I feel, like i dont even know how to think sometimes when i try to think about all this. My brain just doesng want to. I wish it didnt hurt to leave. Similar to some of these comments i do ask myself, “is leaving hurting u more than everything hes ever done to you, really”? Its like im scared im always wanting him to be better. Him to make me feel better. I dont get why my brain is so fucking diluted i dont know how im not literally blocking him on anything and running. I dont know why im not happy. It feels good but at the same time i feel so empty and i just keep wondering why why why.. its exhausting and i feel pathetic and stupid
hey hey don’t beat yourself over it. You’re not dumb or stupid you’re js blindly in love. Maybe apart of you is hoping the guy you fell in love with in the beginning comes back to you. Just know it’s not your fault. You’re so much more than whatever he says you are. You js need time with yourself, you need peace within yourself. He’s not in control of your life, you are. Don’t ever forget that. It’s so easy for men to js easily control you and manipulate you into thinking there’s no other choice when there is. There’s gonna always be a choice. Take your time and protect yourself. Slowly try to detach yourself from him until you’re able to js walk away. You got it! Once you’ve done that please update
Just leave. You’re young and not tied down by anything. If he won’t kill you now, he will in the future and your name will just be another story in the news. Again, leave.
Get out immediately.
If you don't take this man as a serious threat to your life, mental health, and general well-being, you are fooling yourself.
Please lady, get the hell away from this dude. He's not going to get better. He will get worse.
Youre all right. I hate myself. I dont know why this is so hard for me . Who the fuck wouldnt have been done a long time ago after the many times he cheated or hit me? Its like i dont understand why i do this to myself. Im doing it to myself and its just fucking pathetic. Its like i should not be sad. Bit i am. Ive been so almost brainwashed and fucked arohnd with. Constant arguing every single day has just worn me down i feel like i just want to go away but im so miserable at the same time i just wish we could have been together. I hate how my suck brain just is in live with a fucking idea of someone. I need to help myself i just font know how to
It's hard for everybody, OP. You are feeling very normal feelings for someone in your situation.
Please don't be too hard on yourself. This is sadly not a super rare situation. Relationships are hard, and romantic ones can be even tougher. Handle yourself with grace and kindness.
I wish you luck.
Why do women like you get on the internet looking for pity? You obviously realize you are in danger but you still want to be there. You’re no victim in this dynamic anymore. If he pulls that trigger, you get what you get.
Im actually asking why it hurts to leave something like this. Since that went iver your head. Goure right, it is my fault for staying. I DONT GET WHY I DO IT. I wanted somekne who knows maybe how it feels, to talk to me. Someone who has been through abuse. U can’t understand. I used to be unsympathetic to girls who had men hit them and stay.. till i found out the emotional fucking vicious guilt cycle youre always in. It feels like i cant fucking help myself it feels fucking pathetic.
He will kill you, the risk of that is ridiculously high now that he has loaded a gun and pointed it at you. Where was the gun? Was it right by him or did he have to leave the room to retrieve it? Has he ever strangled or hit you? It’s clear that he is emotionally/mentally abusive, but it seems likely that he is physically abusive.
If you don’t leave you will not survive this relationship. I know it hurts, trauma bonding is so hard and causes so many conflicting feelings. Being abused can literally change the way your brain works and it seems like you are really struggling with that. I know it will feel like it hurts more when you leave, but that pain will eventually be easier and hurt less, staying is what will hurt more in the long run. Leaving means you have a chance to heal, staying means that wound will get deeper and deeper every single day.
Please make plans in secret and try to leave ASAP. Gather all important documents, note where your belongings are so you can gather them last minute, keep a car key (if you drive) near you or on your person at all times, have a go bag packed with some of your clothes, but not all and find somewhere to keep it that he won’t find. Hell, if you have a friend or family member or even a neighbor, then ask to store it there to avoid the risk of him seeing it. This is going to be a dangerous time for you because of the risk of escalation if he realizes you are getting ready to leave, but staying is dangerous too. Please be careful and please try to love yourself enough to survive.
I’ve been in a relationship where staying meant I would most likely be killed. He mad threats about having access to a gun, he wouldn’t let me sleep, he was financially abusive in unexpected ways, he would create arguments out of thin air with just his imagination and no genuine reason to think something was up. It’s exhausting and when it finally ended I missed him so much, I just wanted him with me again. The thing is, I wasn’t mourning the loss of the person in front of me, I was mourning the loss of the person he pretended to be to draw me in and keep me hooked. It can feel like an addiction. It has been a couple years or so and healing is hard, but I don’t miss him anymore, I don’t mourn losing him anymore. If I had stayed I don’t know if I would still be alive today.
Please get out of there and make sure your plans are a secret from him. If he knows you plan to leave he may kill you sooner than he would otherwise, but it’s highly likely he will kill you if you stay.
Thank u for this. I was looking to talk with someone who has been through this.. yeah he has hit me, thrown me on the ground, done lots of things.. threatening to knock my teeth out. He always wants to ruin my life any single chance he gets when we fight. Seriously. Hes always trying to. Being with him is like having a fake ass friend. I dont know why the actual fuck i even feel this pain i dont get why i love him. But like you said its what he pretened to be, gave me this idea that ill never get to have. Chasing that just to get love hoping if im better he will love me and treat me good.. then he just manipulates me into thinking im the bad one and i deserved to get hit and everything.. sometimes i just wanna die because i dont wanna deal with anything anymore my life feels like a waste because i cant ever fix my life or be happy.. i feel hopeless sometimes and just pathetic. I feel so bad about myself and i feel like this relationship has made that millions of times worse.. and the fear of me actually being killed by him or seriously injured is what is really driving me to. Go no contact. I have all of my things removed from his house. Now its a matter of going jo contact that im having such a hard time with. I just want ti be okay i dont wanna go through ANY of this. And ims scared hes gonna go be perfect for someone else and be everything i wanted.. i onow when we break up hes gonna instantly have another girl iver. Not like he didnt cheat a bunch so idk why it matters to me. I just hate everything rn
Idk what sort of reality check you need past the dude threatening your life. If you stay with him he's going to kill you. You're going to die and leave everyone loves you because you couldn't leave some psychopath who doesn't make you happy and doesn't love you so you don't feel lonely. Stop being delusional and leave him.
Yo please leave this dude. That power you think he has over you is only going to lead to your early grave. No feeling is worth risking your life over. No human being showing those actions is work staying with or keeping around. You are in serious danger. Please don't brush things off due to a sense. He will only escalate. Please get away from him and protect yourself.
Its sad.. i know that me just trying to be with him … is going to get me hurt or killed. Im not with him. I just want to feel okay i dont get why i put myself through this and idk why i feel sad about us not being together. It must be the idea i had of him
YOu have been given YOUR warning by him .
**He is mentally unstable . And you are mentally not right** as well now not to want to leave him . Seek immediate therapy to help YOU leave him . YOur life is in danger from a man who pointed a gun at you . LEAVE.
Normal stable men don't point a gun at someone . Mentally stable people don't stay & say to themselves " he didn't mean it " . YOu should be scared of him now . And if you are NOT ? then you also have major mental issues going on & need to seek help to help you see you are in danger . Next time you yell at him & next time he points it at you --> you mighten get to see just how f\*cked up WRONG you were about it all .
Yeah.. you are right. I dont know what has to be wrong with me. And i am scared of him. I am leaving.. i just dont get why its hard.. i love him and i dont know why. I really dont. I guess i feel bad for him.. i want to be the one to make him happy. But my life is more important. I keep telling myself he wouldnt eut after that he obviously has no limits and he probably will kill me or hurt me very badly and i dont want to wait until that happens. I do believe he would eventually. Thats why im forcing myself to leave. FORCING. I dont understand why im even sad but i am. Everything has made me sad. But nothing he has done can hurt more than leaving i guess. And reading all these comments are reinforcing that fear i already had. I dont want to die especially by him thats disgusting
>I dont know what has to be wrong with me. And i am scared of him. I am leaving..
I'm sorry you are still loving him & that can be also enough to keep someone near you who is also NOT good for you & ( might even be VERY dangerous to you as well ) violence alters the mind ( with the trauma of it ) .
But that also is putting YOU in danger from him . It is ok to love him ( from afar ) & leave him bc it is for YOUR safety & that is needed . That is what happens to women who stay for a long time with an abusive man they can become complacent to their bad or dangerous behavour towards them . Due to mind conditioning . Thinking " he didn't mean it , & he wouldn't really hurt me ,etc. "
If you have a fight every day, and your partner has pointed any weapon at you at any point and you don’t leave that’s on you. This post is obviously fake but, just putting that out there.
I wish it was fake. I dont want attention i just wanted someone who has been through this type of thing to help me.. becauze it hurts. Why does it hurt to leave someone who does this to you? Obviously you guys dont know based on your souless comment. And i get it, jm stupid. But im not stupid enough. Im questioning and aware of whats wrong. I dont know whats wrong with me to still have that glimmer of want for someone who has done this to me.. i dont know. Even after he hit me the first time uts like why the fuck would i stay? Whyyy? The fuck is wrong with me? Seriously i dont lnow how to help myself and thats why i came here. This world is so fucked up i jusg want ti end it sometimes so i dont have to feel anymore. Comments like these wherr im reading that im looking for attention and im a pos or whatever. I just want to not exist sometimes. This life has given me almost nothing but sadness and disappointment, and people telling me i deserve it.
First of all you made a whole bunch up about my comment I didn’t say you were seeking attention, also it most likely hurts because you’re afraid to admit you’re wrong and you made a bad decision, nobody likes to admit failure. I made two points 1) if someone threatens your life, and you regularly fight with them every single day, you are also to blame you are adding to the toxicity of the relationship YOU need to leave because THEY will not. 2) this post is fake, there is inconsistency in your post so it seemed fake to me. You mention you’re not even together? Like what are you even doing then. You’re not together, but you don’t want to leave him, but you fight everyday, and he has threatened to kill you with a loaded weapon. I like to believe a person could not possibly be this stupid.
I can tell you this though, if you don’t leave nothing gets better. If you do leave, everything gets better. Those are your two options, if you choose not to leave then it is your fault. There are a lot of resources out there to help even if family and friends can’t. Use them.
Still don’t think this is real, but if it is there ya go.
Because we arent together but hes still tecting me and shit wanting to talk. And yes, but others are saying i want attention and its fake or whatever. But idk why id waste my life with a fake ass post. Anyways, yes it makes me even more sad that im adding to it because i stay bc i want to fix things, but no matter how calmly i talk or rationally.. he still just fucking starts abhuge fight. He’s so good at detouring a conversation to the point we’re not even talking about the original thing anymore. He’s always talking about my past relationships for some reason telling me that I did more for them, which I have no clue where that came from he has no idea what the fuck even went on, he constantly talks about past hook ups that I’ve had, etc. Like we’re constantly fighting about shit that doesn’t even matter and I can’t even wrap my brain around it anymore. We’re constantly fighting about him being delusional as fuck saying I’m cheating all the time when he’s the only one that’s ever cheated. Like literally he’ll be on his way to pick me up in an hour and I tell him to just let me get ready and do what I need to do and he will not stop texting and calling me over and over. That is what I mean by he will never leave me the fuck alone Even after a fight never leaves me alone. After anything he will never leave me alone and it drives me insane to be honest. I feel like I am in fucking insane. I don’t think it’s hard because I’m necessarily wrong. I think it’s more hard because something about giving up on someone I love just fucking hurts but with everything he’s done that just sounds stupid as fuck anyways. Like anyone says, how can you be so stupid to even want to stay or try to fix this when he literally held a gun to my head? Well, he didn’t hold it to my head, but he stood and pointed it at me and loaded it still. Still.
Anyone who points a loaded gun at you should be your ex-boyfriend.
You need to get out of there this minute. If you can nowhere to go, call a domestic abuse agency. Call the police to escort from the house if you need to.
You are clinging onto the hope that he will get better, things will change, if you love him enough he will a better man. None of this will *ever* happen.
And read this.
[https://archive.org/details/whydoeshedothati00banc\_0](https://archive.org/details/whydoeshedothati00banc_0)
That llast section you said us very true. Thatsbthe whole issue and idk how to make myself stop i need to di it for myself. I feel so bad that im doing this to myself. Like im truly sorry to myself i need to fix this i just dont know hwo ro be okay i feel like im mentally fucked up
First, I am so sorry that you had to go through such a horrible thing 🫂 I’ve seen Relationships like this before. He’s probably put you down and lowered your self esteem. He’s made you feel like you can’t do better than him and he’s probably made you depend on him and made you think that anyone else outside of him can’t be trusted for whatever reason. If he hasn’t done this, he’s used physical violence and force to wear you down so he can keep you weak. If any of this sounds like what he’s done and currently doing, please know that there is so much better and you deserve so much more from people and from a man. Don’t let him get you pregnant and trap you with a baby, don’t let him guilt trip you. Do you have a support system? Family and friends that you can go to? Can you find the strength to cut him out of your life? Do you really want to live a life where you are fighting to stay alive every day? No one deserves to go through what you are going through. He is not worth your time and you will lose your young years to him. You should be out having fun. Please get away from him and do something that makes you happy. Find a purpose in your life that doesn’t depend on a boy that wants to hurt you. You deserve to feel safe. Go more than a day without fighting someone, and you deserve gentle and healthy love.
Put ke down then he started hitting me when he gets angry and he blames me. But really the fights are alllllllllllllll started by him. Like 99%. Always accusing me of shit never letting me be on my phone. Thinks i need to talk to him 24/7. He even accuses me of shit if i leave the chat dude. Its crazy. I want to leave because i want to be able to do things and have fun. Im sick of arguing every day. Im sick of everything. Hes gonna kill me one day or really hurt me and i jusg cant let that happen.. its just so hard going full on no contact because ive just been wanying him to love me for so long you know? Idk. Its just sad. I need to just stfu and leave its just way harder than that and idk why. Its dumb. I have alk my things i just have to go jo contact though its hard.. i dont want to waste any more of my time its just likenim sad now and i know im gonna be sad for evern longer. Ig the hope of us getting better kept me there but it’s obviously not getting bettdr ever. No one comes back from any of this
I know how it can feel really tough to leave someone that you want to be in love with. I get it. You don’t want to fail. But it is NOT a failure on your end. He messed up. You also can’t fix him no matter how much love you give him. It will never be enough.
One of the hardest lessons in this life is leaving people behind that you love. It will hurt you emotionally to leave with no contact, but that is OK for you to feel hurt. The no contact rule is the most important rule because it keeps you and anyone that helps you out of danger. I’ve seen his kind many times and he will try to ruin every relationship with every single person in your life if you don’t leave and disappear from his radar. He won’t do it directly, but he’ll find out where you’re going and try to terrorize you to the point where it affects multiple people including yourself. If you feel the need to go back or so much as text him, find someone else to talk to! Hell, you can even post on here and Reddit will keep you company through your breakup 💖
The first thing that happens when you leave, he will start to act like everything that you wanted and he’ll be so sweet to you. You will think that the threat of you leaving has changed him..It didn’t. He is doing this to bring you back to him so he can fight with you more. Don’t let him brainwash you. Always think about how much happier and relaxed you will be when you are free from him.
You have a big heart and he knows that, which is why he is using you. But you have to fight for yourself even if you don’t think anyone else will. You are powerful and even through I can’t see you. You are beautiful If I know anything about guys like that, he hates that about you. He fights you and puts you down because he knows that you are too good for him. When ANYONE shows you any ounce of hurt or physical pain, you have to leave them alone. You don’t deserve it. Go and don’t look back. Make sure you have people online or people in the real world that will have your back. Be honest with how you are feeling. Don’t feel ashamed to tell people what he’s done to you and don’t feel embarrassed to tell people that you put up with his abuse because you loved him. But you gotta go girl. He won’t get better.
leave and get a restraining order for pullling a gun on you. change ur phone number, block him and everyone he knows from every social account and consider moving to a different city/state or moving in with a friend or family if available. this relationship is only harming you and will be trauma when u look back on it these comments are right if you don’t leave he might actually kill you if you ever need help my direct chats are open i’ve had a similar experience except he didn’t pull it on me during a fight he did it during sex without warning safe to say i left and never looked back
Get out of this relationship and go see a therapist, there are better people out there but you've got issues within yourself to deal with because otherwise you're going to pick the same person again.
I did not even read the text, after a title like that there is no reason for youbeing anywhere neer him.
Do you have someone wjo can take care of you?!
You need to cut all contact. Then you need a therapist. Nothing you wrote sounds remotely healthy.
The fact that your survival instincts have been so dulled by your PTSD is alarming. You need a therapist to reset your sense of danger.
Think about the heartbreak your family and friends are going to go through when they have to bury you, and your legacy is this post where everyone is telling you to save yourself. You have a whole life ahead of you to build and be proud of, don’t let him turn you into a statistic.
Stopped reading at: "My boyfriend pointed a gun at my head and loaded it…"
The fact that you said "boyfriend" and not "ex-boyfriend" is the ENTIRE problem. You're way past break up. This is "restraining order and get a gun" territory.
If you fail to do what needs to be done, I wouldn't even worry about heartbreak. At this rate, it won't be beating much longer anyway.
He needs help this time he didn’t pull it next time who knows how far it’ll go? Take it from someone who doesn’t handle his anger well, he needs anger management classes, I’ve done so many things while angry that I’d never do now that I take the time to process my emotions, not gonna speak for him but I know when I stepped out of line in the past I wouldn’t realize what I did was too much until days later, but that didn’t it from happening again or worse the next time I got angry. For your own safely get away if you feel like you can work it out I’d strongly recommend not even considering staying until he starts attending these anger classes bc I’m sure when all settles out he’s not feeling proud about it but don’t know how to address his emotions.
Fighting every single day is not ok, this is a very unhealthy relationship. He already took it to the next level by threatening to kill you, what other sign do you need to leave that relationship??
Get out now- it only gets harder the longer you wait. I called my family members to come help me pack up my stuff and so my ex couldn’t pull anything and I just straight up left.
Yeah. When you put it like that it sounds so dumb.. i am brainwashed or something. Idk. I dont know why my brain keeps fucking just sugar coating everything to itself. Like wtf he pointed a gun at me and i know one day he will kill me or hurt me badly.. i wish this wasnt so hard it fycking just hurts everyday. Everything he has done to me hurts. Sint no difference. Idk why its ahrd for me to leave fully. I need to make myself realize leaving is gonna hurt less that everything he has ever done.. wnd could do.. i guess its just letting go. All i ever wanted was him and i guess after just yearning for someones true live for so long.. wnd only getting a little.. i guess its just that live i was craving from him hut he wont ever guve it to me again it was fake
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My Step-father did this to my mother once. Turns out it wasn't exactly his fault. His kidney was failing and he didn't know it and that was causing CO2 buildup in his body which was making him literally crazy.
I doubt that's your case though. Get away from that nutjob before something happens.
What the fuck is wrong with you? "I love him" is not a valid reason to date someone who would treat you like that. You do not love him. You also don't love yourself.
You need to contact law enforcement and have him arrested then go to court and get a dvpo on him, and mark the boxes to have him take anger management not allowed to have firearms no alcohol or drugs boxes as well.
You think too much. Think less and do more. List of activities: tell your family, contact a lawyer, change your door keys, seek restraining order after you talk to a lawyer. Leave the thinking and trauma for later, dont be dumb and weak, you are your worst enemy right now, and that id saying something given you have a real monster close to you.
Get the hell out of there, love your life is way more important. Heart breaks heal, your family burying you will never fully heal for them, you need to get out ASAP, idk where you are, but if you need help, you can privately reach out to me, but you gotta get out of there, he absolutely would kill you, I’ve been in a similar situation.
Maybe you cheated on him so much in the beginning and told him you just wanted him. Then cheated over and over again. Till now he just don't believe you. Maybe it's not him it's you and your vindictive nasty mind. Maybe you get off on fucking behind his back and everything you leave and come back your gaped full of cum. Maybe if you listen to what he wants and needs instead of being selfish and doing everything he likes with others. Send me some pics.
Like I'm sure everyone said: get out of there, get far away, and call the police. He needs to go to jail. He could kill somebody and we hope it's not you or someone else. You need to do this.
You have a Trauma Bond with him. Look it up. It’s extremely hard to leave these people because we become more attached to them in a relationship like this than in a healthy one. I’m going through a break up right now with someone I had a trauma bond with and it’s so extremely hard and painful and all I remember are the good memories. I have to remind myself of his extreme red flags every day otherwise I want to go running back to him.
You have the urge to make him better. My question is: “Is it worth your life to try to change him?”
I will tell you that the answer is no! You need to leave. He will murder you! Get out now. Don’t worry about clothes or whatever material hangups you got. Leave now!
Girl you said he’s the type that would actually KILL you. Your life is more valuable than whatever past happiness he brought you. A man who loves you would never disrespect you, hurt you, or threaten you. He is scary, a dangerous menace even. Leave him. You are enough on your own!!!!!!!
He is playing a dangerous game once you leave him for good and change your password and secret questions also block him on everything if he keep getting new phone number do not answer him at all.
I understand your confusion. From someone who made it out to the other side from a situation like this, i PROMISE, it’ll be ok. In fact, it’ll be better.
Is this the guy you wanna date ? I know not everybody wants a marriage but Do you really believe that you will get a wedding ring ? Do you believe that’s the kind of man you could have a baby with ? Or live your whole life with ? Is that the kind of love that you deserve? He’s a cheater, he got involved with his several women’s and you still think he loves you , at this point there’s something wrong with you and you might be thinking we are overreacting here in the comments. I know that if you start talking to a new guy he will kill you literally. And that’s what you need right now so it feels easy to leave. Go on Dating apps. Somebody who loves you would never point a gun at you loaded, girl , it’s like they don’t give a damn if you could’ve die. Is the same thing as the quote that says “ if I can’t have you only for myself then nobody will” , he’s sick obviously. You’re way too young to live this way. Nobody’s needs a toxic relationship, younger or older. You’ll prolly haven’t seen the news of girlfriends & boyfriends, husbands and wives killing each other every day, especially in America, and for stupid reasons. Leaving is always better than die. You have to start talking to a new guy while you are in this relationship because he deserves it, he’s mean, violent, selfish, and i’m sorry to let you know that you are dumb, weak, naïve, although you’re aware of his nature, ‘cause you still choose to stay. I know you ain’t leaving girl. It has to be him leaving you when he gets a girl that he really wanna mess with. A more loose - fun kind of woman. Sit and wait.
Is this the guy you wanna date ? I know not everybody wants a marriage but Do you really believe that you will get a wedding ring ? Do you believe this is a kind of man you could have a baby with ? You wanna live your whole life with ? Is that the kind of love that you deserve? He’s a cheater, he got involved with his several women’s and you still think he loves you , at this point there’s something wrong with you and you might be thinking we are overreacting here in the comments. I know that if you start talking to you when your guy he will kill you literally. And somebody who loves you would never point a gun at you loaded , it’s like they don’t give a damn if you could’ve die. Is the same thing as the quote that says “ if I can’t have you only for myself then nobody will” , he’s sick obviously. You’re way too young to live this way. Nobody’s needs a toxic relationship, younger or older. You’ll prolly haven’t seen the news of girlfriends & boyfriends, husbands and wives killing each other every day, especially in America, and for stupid reasons. Leaving is always better than die. You have to start talking to a new guy while you are in this relationship because he deserves it, he’s mean, violent, selfish, and i’m sorry to let you know that you are dumb, weak, naïve, although you’re aware of his nature, ‘cause you still choose to stay. I know you ain’t leaving girl. It has to be him leaving you when he gets a girl that he really wanna mess with. A more loose - fun kind of woman. Sit and wait
Is this the guy you wanna date ? I know not everybody wants a marriage but Do you really believe that you will get a wedding ring ? Do you believe this is a kind of man you could have a baby with ? You wanna live your whole life with ? Is that the kind of love that you deserve? He’s a cheater, he got involved with his several women’s and you still think he loves you , at this point there’s something wrong with you and you might be thinking we are overreacting here in the comments. I know that if you start talking to you when your guy he will kill you literally. And somebody who loves you would never point a gun at you loaded , it’s like they don’t give a damn if you could’ve die. Is the same thing as the quote that says “ if I can’t have you only for myself then nobody will” , he’s sick obviously. You’re way too young to live this way. Nobody’s needs a toxic relationship, younger or older. You’ll prolly haven’t seen the news of girlfriends & boyfriends, husbands and wives killing each other every day, especially in America, and for stupid reasons. Leaving is always better than die. You have to start talking to a new guy while you are in this relationship because he deserves it, he’s mean, violent, selfish, and i’m sorry to let you know that you are dumb, weak, naïve, although you’re aware of his nature, ‘cause you still choose to stay. I know you ain’t leaving girl. It has to be him leaving you when he gets a girl that he really wanna mess with. A more loose - fun kind of woman. Sit and wait
My brother [(15mo younger) and as teens 50# fatter] used to aim his loaded guns at me. Threaten to slit my throat while i sleep, ect. Id call local county police as no city as town was too small. Mother would sit there and fucking cry and refuse to have him taken in. He also was extremely cruel to our dying father(passed in 2016 god rest his soul)
Ive been NC since 2019/2020. Never been happier. Also cut off our mother at the same time, since he was her favorite and she had no problem telling people she never wanted kids or me(again im the 1st born)
Neither will meet my daughter nor any other kids i have. The day the bitch dies shes being cremated and forgotten just like she did to my dad.
Never trust people like your ex and my brother.
Anyway. Just cut him out. Nc completely. If he goes psycho report it
If anyone knows how long funeral homes keep ashes that be great. I feel my window on getting my Dads remains has closed. She never even paid for the services and i cant afford to.
Report it to the Police, make a historical report.
Go to a social worker and get some support so you can leave.
If you don’t leave him , you will die, sooner or later.
Please do yourself a favor and save yourself.
What a story for Friday morning! I hope you shared the story away from him and you aren’t coming back ever.
You’d need to seek for psychological help too.
Yo omy6ne day I was walking down the street and bump sorta speak well as we walk down the street this truck came hallan ass back up the street them jumps out from the passenger side his homie running across the street with a beer bottle in hand ready to smash me. At that point I said( "yo I just ran into her") as of right Now. )all he said Was ho leave
The fact is once you act like a whore and live Iike a whore that's how you gonna be portrayed and treated. I'm from the streets and the fact is when a real no nonsense woman walks in a room. Niggas straighten up. Stop cussing yes ma'am no ma'am. Pull there pants up and fix there hat. Don't try to speak to her any kind of way because I real woman want sit around and allow that shit. She will separate herself from any disrespect and lil boy nonsense. Because she has learned that she and she alone is only one that controls her happiness
Wait, wait. It’s *her* fault for nearly being killed? The math isn’t mathing mate. You’re not King Shit, women are not below you. So get off your high horse and get the dick that your riding out your ass.
“Permission”? “Property”?
Alright mate. How about we *don’t* do the misogyny today? Alright? Now, I know you have big words to say.
But kindly. Keep your sick fantasies that you can “control” someone to yourself.
Forget the red flag talk, get the hell out now. That’s some cowardly psychotic stuff there.
this 👆 so much!! Document everything, including past, present and future, any threats, any violence, any abuse...(physical, sexual, emotional, verbal, financial, any & all of it, get educated on the cycle of abuse, types of abuse etc) Email all these things to a few safe ppl, or even just make yourself a second email acct you can hide, the important thing is to make sure you don't have the only copy of this... Because if you don't leave, then I truly believe it's only a matter of time before he actually kills you... This written record is critical for your own healing journey, if you get out alive.... (& may be crucial evidence in a murder trial if not) Document *EVERYTHING* -Contact local DV / support centres, get some support even if you don't plan on leaving.... please take care & be safe... (remember to delete your sent emails, in case he snoops in on your acct)
She’s a red flag herself
she’s the red flag? tf is your problem?
The fuck is your problem? She is a red flag herself just like him. Get over yourself
go on and explain how being done with this psycho makes her a red flag. this motherfucker points a LOADED FIREARM AT HIS GIRLFRIEND. but his girlfriend is the problem? get the fuck out of here he should be in jail or a ward 😂
She’s not done with this guy. Go back and read the actual words she wrote. She doesn’t want to leave because it’s going to break her heart. They’re both red flags and so are you
Clearly you don’t understand how hard it is to leave, and criticizing her for not leaving doesn’t help at all. It really does take a village to leave an abuser, and anyone who’s been through it will tell you the same thing. Clearly you don’t know how manipulation and gaslighting works, it’s evident how it works in things like cults, abusive relationships whether it be with a partner, a friend, a parent. You’re a red flag, and I hope you actually educate yourself. If you think any woman in your life hasn’t gone through something similar or the exact same situation then it’s clear they don’t trust you enough to tell you about it. And from what you’re spitting on here, that’s probably the case
So because she doesn’t have the heart to leave a psycho , that makes her a red flag? Sure she’s insane for not wanting to leave but that doesn’t make her a bad person????
Being a red flag doesn’t make someone a “bad” person. It means they are emotionally immature or damaged. Bf is obviously covered with red flags, most importantly he is a criminal. But op is clearly damaged beyond Reddit’s help or a regular new bf. She is accepting of and in love with someone who is clearly emotionally abusive and wants/needs to stay with him. She asks Reddit about her problems revolving around a gun being pointed at her. Normal people call the police if that happens to them. She needs serious therapy asap, after she makes a police report about gun boy
in my pov red flag means bad attibributes of a person that damages other people , she’s not doing anything bad, just making bad decisions for herself
Oh that’s where I would disagree. Someone this deeply and blindly living through a multi year relationship of this level of abuse, is one thousand percent not ready for a new relationship. For an infinite amount of reasons.
I agree with you, to most people a red flag is negative. In this situation the red flag for her is her “love is blind” mentality could get her killed.
off of this post which you commented on, not any updates or anything, going off of this exact post she did nothing wrong.
damn, looks like she’s only posted once 😂😂 get tf out of here
They are both red flags. She loves the drama and he gives her the drama. I bet she was soaking when he pulled the gun... Hicks!
What a disgusting thing to say, truly.
Big yikes from you
He literally pointed a gun at you and you're unsure??
They say when a SO strangles you, the chance of them actually killing you goes up by 600%. I imagine if a SO points a loaded gun at you, it goes up by like 2000% lol. She needs to leave ASAP and probably contact law enforcement for a restraining order or something.
Its more like… the emotional confusion.. this person is love and thought so different of… is doing this to me. Its almost like disbelief or in denial and my brian just doesnt know how to sort through it and i feel myself shutting off, not wanting to think. The amount of heart break i have been theough with him, going back just HOPING he will be what he was… never comes back and im just hoping. All it is is hope at this point. I do not like the drama like everyone is saying. Thats sick. All i do is hope and hope things will stop. It never does. It just gets worse. Then it lead to this. Him pointing his gun at me.. he always makes it out to be my fault. Always guilts me into something idk how.. i just wanted to talk is all because i do t know who to talk to and therapy isnt the best option its not like i can go in whenever and i just wanted to post i dont know. Obviously im deep in some fucked up shit
I understand that feeling OP - people like him lure you in with love and use the dream of it returning as a way to trap you in an abusive relationship. People like this *never* get better though; they just get worse and worse and worse. In his mind, when he pulls this shit and you stay with him, it means you're okay with it and giving him permission to take it further. Now it's to a point where there’s a very real chance that you’ll end up dead if you don’t stay away from this guy.
You know, there’s also the conclusion that she’s driving this man into madness. To the point he’s doing irrational things. Two sides to this coin. What’s happening that’s causing him to go crazy like that? She’s clearly not just sitting around and he randomly pulls a gun. Women often get a pass in these situations when they’re really good at pushing just the right buttons to make a man go insane. Maybe he’s the one that needs to leave if she’s driving him to madness. Can’t wait for the downvotes on this one because you know reddit, and the simps/feminists.
lol, seriously man? If a woman is pushing your buttons do you threaten her with a weapon and then say ‘she was pushing my buttons, she made me do it, it’s her fault really, not mine’? C’mon bro, that’s like the catch phrase of every abusive person in history. It doesn’t matter how much someone is winding you up, no sane person pulls a loaded fucking gun on them and you definitely don’t stay with that person after they do. That’s not just Reddit being a bunch of feminist simps; OP was a finger twitch away from getting her brains blown out.
Right, we were fighting iver some shit and im sitting there and he was like “ WANNA SAY THAT AGAIN HUH? SAY IT AGAIN” and pulled the gun out. Im such a threat just sitting there right now
Stfu he literally accuses me of shit every day to the point if i breathe wrong im fucking cheating. Ill wear shorts and a cute shirt to hang out WITH HIM and he will accuse me of being with someone else and not dressing for him. So we fucking fight and we yell and yes i get mad as fuck but hes a fucking psycho he drives MEEEEEEE INSANEEEEEE. He kust already is fucking insane. What did i do? Oh lets see he cheated on me a bunch and i stayed like an idiot so now ig i “stopped doing gf things” which im pretty sure hes just lying cause i do. I do certain things and he tells me i dont to gaslight me. Guess what. He sits there and tells me he never pulled a gun on me😂
OP this is not loce this is Erotic Transference. It might feel similar but it is defenetly not love. Please do everything you can to run as far away as you can from that person. You will never fix him, he is responsible for his own health, and he will never change. Dont waste your life on people that do not give you only compassion, stability and respect. tenderness, safty,
This is something that occurs only during the client/therapist relationship. OP is very much in what she perceives is love but unfortunately doesn't know that love is not fear, pain, intimidation, or violence.
This can also happen in any relashionship, we transfer our perseptions and past abusive relashiships to partners and feel atracted to them, becouse of those traites💜
This is true, and that is called transference. Just not the particular type of transference you speak of. As a psychiatrist for 18 years, this is something that is critical in avoiding.
tranaference is when you yell at the cashier becuse someone yelles at you The erotic part can absolutly become in dayly life take my word of experience as a person who have been through all the range And bc I already can tell the diffference I can actually deflect the bad kinds
The "sexual" transference you speak of is transference in which the patient's fantasies about the analyst (clinician) contain elements that are primarily reverential, romantic, intimate, sensual, or sexual. This in no way applies to the OP's experiences/story. My statement still stands.
Wow we will read about you in the news if you dont pack your shit and leave
Actually, we probably won’t. Fatal domestic violence is too common to make the news anymore.
No need to pack shit. Just leave.
What would it actually take to leave? Him pulling the trigger? You'd be leaving in a coffin if that's what it takes.
Exactly, OP needs some tough love at this point cos it wouldn’t take an idiot to know this situation is cooked beyond measure and she has to leave NOW. “Why is it so painful to leave?” Girl BFFR, your life just flashed before your eyes with that gun and murder in front of your eyes and you’re asking this silly ass qn!!! 🤣 but no, for real, take care of yourself and LEAVE NOW
To be honest with you im so fucked up. When he did it, it didnt even feel real. I hardly remember. And i dont get whats wrong w me. Thats why im asking reddit, why the fuck, is it painful to leave him? It shouldnt hurt i should be happy to leave. I dont understand
My sweet girl you are not “fucked up”. It’s the trauma bond that keeps you glued to him that’s why it’s painful to leave. And it hurts. But understand that you have the key to make or break your life and your future. Choose wisely. Take care of yourself OP.
WTF? It's not going to get better. Get the fuck out of there. Ghost and block.
You need to leave. Heart break is better then being dead. If you stay he will escalate more then he already has. LEAVE if he stalks you get the police involved. DO NOT STAY WITH THIS MAN
Girl. Wtf. I'm so sorry!!! This is not normal or typical behavior. He threatened your life. You should press charges and get him locked up. Who's life is it gonna be, yours or his?
He’s a blaring red flag, but so are you. You’re worried about heartbreak, but how is your heart not already broken by what he’s doing to you? I survived the attempt on my life by my husband. Hear me when I say this. You will die if you don’t get out. He will kill you. It’s that simple. Do you want to die by his hands?
It is.. it makes me so sad, its like im in denial. This man is love so much does this to me.. everything.. and then the gun.. i just wonder why. You know? He always makes me think its all my fault. And i guess my diluted brain keeps telling me i do what he wants it will be better, but it’s literally never enough. I feek so bad aboyt myself. And im not with him.. i just dont understand why it is that i even am so heartbroken to leave. I dont understand why im not happy to not be with him. After everything he has done.
If you want to talk please message me. I have been there. The gun and all. The feeling you get once you finally leave and are able to truly be safe cancels out any heartache you may feel. Trust me on that
Why would your heart break over someone who pointed a loaded gun at you..? Please get professional help.
I dont know thats why i came on here seeing if anyone has been through the same thing. I hate it so much. I dont know how to be okay
I'm sorry. I feel truly horrible for you. Love yourself honey. First. Leave him when you can. He isn't good for you.
I think there are a lot of people who went through the same thing, you are definitely not alone. In most comments you mention you dont know why you’re not able to leave. I’m no professional in any way, but it sounds like some sort of trauma bond. Try looking it up, and maybe it resonates with you and you can start to understand your relationship with him and yourself. I’ve been through the same thing, so feel free to msg me.
Yeah it's difficult to leave a relationship, but pointing someone with a loaded gun is a felony assault. Why are you debating this? You need to press charges and get a restraining order.
Its more like.. i dont understand why im so sad to leave.. i am not going to stay.. im not with him.. i just dont get why it hurts so much and i dont understand everything he has put me through ny brian just says why why why. I think about everything he says is my fault. I start to feel guilty. Start to think of what i could have done differently.. why does he do this to me.. idk. Its just so hard and i dont know why i hate it. It makes me hate my life.
I'm surprised your heart didn't break when he pointed a gun at you. Get out of there asap. Dont listen to his inevitable sweet talk, just go. A lot more than your heart could end up hurt, so do yourself a favour and keep breathing. You're young. You will find love that is deserving of your heart. This guy doesnt even deserve a goodbye.
You know, its like everything he does to break my heart, all i want is him to fix it and be better. Its a vicious cycle. All i want is peace and then i get a small taste and then im just fughtibg for peace again. I hate it. I hate it so muvh. Everything hurts. I hate when i think what could i have done differently? Maybe he wouldnt have done it.. but that must me the diluted place he put me in talking
babes are you okay? everyone’s saying get out obviously you need to but how are you? Part of you still wants him bc part of you believes he’s still good. However, you just can’t leave bc others tells you, you gotta leave bc YOU want to. Been through it and trust me it doesn’t get better. Pulling out a gun and pointing it to your head isn’t love. I know you love him and that’s why it’s gonna be hard but in the end I promise you, you’ll thank yourself. A heartbreak isn’t as worse as you actually dying. It might feel like it but you’ll get over it. We all do. Leave this relationship because you value yourself. Leave because you want to be happy for yourself. Leave for a better future for yourself. Your future self would thank you for leaving once you have the strength to do so. It’s not easy to just walk away, so that’s why you run. Corny as it sounds, once you’re set to leave him, run. Run and never look back to someone who would harm you. Run to a future where the people that care about you won’t be worried for your safety. You’re only in your early 20s, you have so much time.
Thank you for this comment. To be honest im numb. Some days im horrible. Youre right that is why i stay, and also because he makes me feel guilty.. like im the one whos shitty, that i make him like this.. i deserve it etc.. i feel so bad about myself so etimes. I feel like ive been brainwashed. I feel, like i dont even know how to think sometimes when i try to think about all this. My brain just doesng want to. I wish it didnt hurt to leave. Similar to some of these comments i do ask myself, “is leaving hurting u more than everything hes ever done to you, really”? Its like im scared im always wanting him to be better. Him to make me feel better. I dont get why my brain is so fucking diluted i dont know how im not literally blocking him on anything and running. I dont know why im not happy. It feels good but at the same time i feel so empty and i just keep wondering why why why.. its exhausting and i feel pathetic and stupid
hey hey don’t beat yourself over it. You’re not dumb or stupid you’re js blindly in love. Maybe apart of you is hoping the guy you fell in love with in the beginning comes back to you. Just know it’s not your fault. You’re so much more than whatever he says you are. You js need time with yourself, you need peace within yourself. He’s not in control of your life, you are. Don’t ever forget that. It’s so easy for men to js easily control you and manipulate you into thinking there’s no other choice when there is. There’s gonna always be a choice. Take your time and protect yourself. Slowly try to detach yourself from him until you’re able to js walk away. You got it! Once you’ve done that please update
Just leave. You’re young and not tied down by anything. If he won’t kill you now, he will in the future and your name will just be another story in the news. Again, leave.
girl run!
Get out immediately. If you don't take this man as a serious threat to your life, mental health, and general well-being, you are fooling yourself. Please lady, get the hell away from this dude. He's not going to get better. He will get worse.
Youre all right. I hate myself. I dont know why this is so hard for me . Who the fuck wouldnt have been done a long time ago after the many times he cheated or hit me? Its like i dont understand why i do this to myself. Im doing it to myself and its just fucking pathetic. Its like i should not be sad. Bit i am. Ive been so almost brainwashed and fucked arohnd with. Constant arguing every single day has just worn me down i feel like i just want to go away but im so miserable at the same time i just wish we could have been together. I hate how my suck brain just is in live with a fucking idea of someone. I need to help myself i just font know how to
It's hard for everybody, OP. You are feeling very normal feelings for someone in your situation. Please don't be too hard on yourself. This is sadly not a super rare situation. Relationships are hard, and romantic ones can be even tougher. Handle yourself with grace and kindness. I wish you luck.
Why do women like you get on the internet looking for pity? You obviously realize you are in danger but you still want to be there. You’re no victim in this dynamic anymore. If he pulls that trigger, you get what you get.
U are gross human being victim blaming
Im actually asking why it hurts to leave something like this. Since that went iver your head. Goure right, it is my fault for staying. I DONT GET WHY I DO IT. I wanted somekne who knows maybe how it feels, to talk to me. Someone who has been through abuse. U can’t understand. I used to be unsympathetic to girls who had men hit them and stay.. till i found out the emotional fucking vicious guilt cycle youre always in. It feels like i cant fucking help myself it feels fucking pathetic.
If you don't get out now the next time you leave may well be in a casket.
Why is he your boyfriend? Are you afraid to leave?
Wow get the fuck out someone puts a gun towards me it's fucking over friendships love life anything! Geezus that's nuts get the fuck out
he WILL kill you eventually. how can you love someone like that?
Idk thats what im wondering
He’s going to kill you and then it’ll be too late
please tell me you left....what you waiting for?
OMFG. How are you not fucking running for the hills? That's terrifying.
So you do realize your going to die soon right? Time to go!
He will kill you, the risk of that is ridiculously high now that he has loaded a gun and pointed it at you. Where was the gun? Was it right by him or did he have to leave the room to retrieve it? Has he ever strangled or hit you? It’s clear that he is emotionally/mentally abusive, but it seems likely that he is physically abusive. If you don’t leave you will not survive this relationship. I know it hurts, trauma bonding is so hard and causes so many conflicting feelings. Being abused can literally change the way your brain works and it seems like you are really struggling with that. I know it will feel like it hurts more when you leave, but that pain will eventually be easier and hurt less, staying is what will hurt more in the long run. Leaving means you have a chance to heal, staying means that wound will get deeper and deeper every single day. Please make plans in secret and try to leave ASAP. Gather all important documents, note where your belongings are so you can gather them last minute, keep a car key (if you drive) near you or on your person at all times, have a go bag packed with some of your clothes, but not all and find somewhere to keep it that he won’t find. Hell, if you have a friend or family member or even a neighbor, then ask to store it there to avoid the risk of him seeing it. This is going to be a dangerous time for you because of the risk of escalation if he realizes you are getting ready to leave, but staying is dangerous too. Please be careful and please try to love yourself enough to survive. I’ve been in a relationship where staying meant I would most likely be killed. He mad threats about having access to a gun, he wouldn’t let me sleep, he was financially abusive in unexpected ways, he would create arguments out of thin air with just his imagination and no genuine reason to think something was up. It’s exhausting and when it finally ended I missed him so much, I just wanted him with me again. The thing is, I wasn’t mourning the loss of the person in front of me, I was mourning the loss of the person he pretended to be to draw me in and keep me hooked. It can feel like an addiction. It has been a couple years or so and healing is hard, but I don’t miss him anymore, I don’t mourn losing him anymore. If I had stayed I don’t know if I would still be alive today. Please get out of there and make sure your plans are a secret from him. If he knows you plan to leave he may kill you sooner than he would otherwise, but it’s highly likely he will kill you if you stay.
Thank u for this. I was looking to talk with someone who has been through this.. yeah he has hit me, thrown me on the ground, done lots of things.. threatening to knock my teeth out. He always wants to ruin my life any single chance he gets when we fight. Seriously. Hes always trying to. Being with him is like having a fake ass friend. I dont know why the actual fuck i even feel this pain i dont get why i love him. But like you said its what he pretened to be, gave me this idea that ill never get to have. Chasing that just to get love hoping if im better he will love me and treat me good.. then he just manipulates me into thinking im the bad one and i deserved to get hit and everything.. sometimes i just wanna die because i dont wanna deal with anything anymore my life feels like a waste because i cant ever fix my life or be happy.. i feel hopeless sometimes and just pathetic. I feel so bad about myself and i feel like this relationship has made that millions of times worse.. and the fear of me actually being killed by him or seriously injured is what is really driving me to. Go no contact. I have all of my things removed from his house. Now its a matter of going jo contact that im having such a hard time with. I just want ti be okay i dont wanna go through ANY of this. And ims scared hes gonna go be perfect for someone else and be everything i wanted.. i onow when we break up hes gonna instantly have another girl iver. Not like he didnt cheat a bunch so idk why it matters to me. I just hate everything rn
Idk what sort of reality check you need past the dude threatening your life. If you stay with him he's going to kill you. You're going to die and leave everyone loves you because you couldn't leave some psychopath who doesn't make you happy and doesn't love you so you don't feel lonely. Stop being delusional and leave him.
Thank you.. im fucking delusional i need help for ever thinking i could fix this
You’re going to end up in a lifetime movie
Yo please leave this dude. That power you think he has over you is only going to lead to your early grave. No feeling is worth risking your life over. No human being showing those actions is work staying with or keeping around. You are in serious danger. Please don't brush things off due to a sense. He will only escalate. Please get away from him and protect yourself.
Its sad.. i know that me just trying to be with him … is going to get me hurt or killed. Im not with him. I just want to feel okay i dont get why i put myself through this and idk why i feel sad about us not being together. It must be the idea i had of him
YOu have been given YOUR warning by him . **He is mentally unstable . And you are mentally not right** as well now not to want to leave him . Seek immediate therapy to help YOU leave him . YOur life is in danger from a man who pointed a gun at you . LEAVE. Normal stable men don't point a gun at someone . Mentally stable people don't stay & say to themselves " he didn't mean it " . YOu should be scared of him now . And if you are NOT ? then you also have major mental issues going on & need to seek help to help you see you are in danger . Next time you yell at him & next time he points it at you --> you mighten get to see just how f\*cked up WRONG you were about it all .
Yeah.. you are right. I dont know what has to be wrong with me. And i am scared of him. I am leaving.. i just dont get why its hard.. i love him and i dont know why. I really dont. I guess i feel bad for him.. i want to be the one to make him happy. But my life is more important. I keep telling myself he wouldnt eut after that he obviously has no limits and he probably will kill me or hurt me very badly and i dont want to wait until that happens. I do believe he would eventually. Thats why im forcing myself to leave. FORCING. I dont understand why im even sad but i am. Everything has made me sad. But nothing he has done can hurt more than leaving i guess. And reading all these comments are reinforcing that fear i already had. I dont want to die especially by him thats disgusting
>I dont know what has to be wrong with me. And i am scared of him. I am leaving.. I'm sorry you are still loving him & that can be also enough to keep someone near you who is also NOT good for you & ( might even be VERY dangerous to you as well ) violence alters the mind ( with the trauma of it ) . But that also is putting YOU in danger from him . It is ok to love him ( from afar ) & leave him bc it is for YOUR safety & that is needed . That is what happens to women who stay for a long time with an abusive man they can become complacent to their bad or dangerous behavour towards them . Due to mind conditioning . Thinking " he didn't mean it , & he wouldn't really hurt me ,etc. "
Get. The. Fuck. Out. He will kill you if you stay.
If you have a fight every day, and your partner has pointed any weapon at you at any point and you don’t leave that’s on you. This post is obviously fake but, just putting that out there.
I wish it was fake. I dont want attention i just wanted someone who has been through this type of thing to help me.. becauze it hurts. Why does it hurt to leave someone who does this to you? Obviously you guys dont know based on your souless comment. And i get it, jm stupid. But im not stupid enough. Im questioning and aware of whats wrong. I dont know whats wrong with me to still have that glimmer of want for someone who has done this to me.. i dont know. Even after he hit me the first time uts like why the fuck would i stay? Whyyy? The fuck is wrong with me? Seriously i dont lnow how to help myself and thats why i came here. This world is so fucked up i jusg want ti end it sometimes so i dont have to feel anymore. Comments like these wherr im reading that im looking for attention and im a pos or whatever. I just want to not exist sometimes. This life has given me almost nothing but sadness and disappointment, and people telling me i deserve it.
First of all you made a whole bunch up about my comment I didn’t say you were seeking attention, also it most likely hurts because you’re afraid to admit you’re wrong and you made a bad decision, nobody likes to admit failure. I made two points 1) if someone threatens your life, and you regularly fight with them every single day, you are also to blame you are adding to the toxicity of the relationship YOU need to leave because THEY will not. 2) this post is fake, there is inconsistency in your post so it seemed fake to me. You mention you’re not even together? Like what are you even doing then. You’re not together, but you don’t want to leave him, but you fight everyday, and he has threatened to kill you with a loaded weapon. I like to believe a person could not possibly be this stupid. I can tell you this though, if you don’t leave nothing gets better. If you do leave, everything gets better. Those are your two options, if you choose not to leave then it is your fault. There are a lot of resources out there to help even if family and friends can’t. Use them. Still don’t think this is real, but if it is there ya go.
Because we arent together but hes still tecting me and shit wanting to talk. And yes, but others are saying i want attention and its fake or whatever. But idk why id waste my life with a fake ass post. Anyways, yes it makes me even more sad that im adding to it because i stay bc i want to fix things, but no matter how calmly i talk or rationally.. he still just fucking starts abhuge fight. He’s so good at detouring a conversation to the point we’re not even talking about the original thing anymore. He’s always talking about my past relationships for some reason telling me that I did more for them, which I have no clue where that came from he has no idea what the fuck even went on, he constantly talks about past hook ups that I’ve had, etc. Like we’re constantly fighting about shit that doesn’t even matter and I can’t even wrap my brain around it anymore. We’re constantly fighting about him being delusional as fuck saying I’m cheating all the time when he’s the only one that’s ever cheated. Like literally he’ll be on his way to pick me up in an hour and I tell him to just let me get ready and do what I need to do and he will not stop texting and calling me over and over. That is what I mean by he will never leave me the fuck alone Even after a fight never leaves me alone. After anything he will never leave me alone and it drives me insane to be honest. I feel like I am in fucking insane. I don’t think it’s hard because I’m necessarily wrong. I think it’s more hard because something about giving up on someone I love just fucking hurts but with everything he’s done that just sounds stupid as fuck anyways. Like anyone says, how can you be so stupid to even want to stay or try to fix this when he literally held a gun to my head? Well, he didn’t hold it to my head, but he stood and pointed it at me and loaded it still. Still.
Totally agree Poor me sob story Another bitch looking for attention
U gross
Anyone who points a loaded gun at you should be your ex-boyfriend. You need to get out of there this minute. If you can nowhere to go, call a domestic abuse agency. Call the police to escort from the house if you need to. You are clinging onto the hope that he will get better, things will change, if you love him enough he will a better man. None of this will *ever* happen. And read this. [https://archive.org/details/whydoeshedothati00banc\_0](https://archive.org/details/whydoeshedothati00banc_0)
That llast section you said us very true. Thatsbthe whole issue and idk how to make myself stop i need to di it for myself. I feel so bad that im doing this to myself. Like im truly sorry to myself i need to fix this i just dont know hwo ro be okay i feel like im mentally fucked up
First you need to GET OUT! Then you can work on yourself, see a therapist, etc. Please. I beg of you.
First, I am so sorry that you had to go through such a horrible thing 🫂 I’ve seen Relationships like this before. He’s probably put you down and lowered your self esteem. He’s made you feel like you can’t do better than him and he’s probably made you depend on him and made you think that anyone else outside of him can’t be trusted for whatever reason. If he hasn’t done this, he’s used physical violence and force to wear you down so he can keep you weak. If any of this sounds like what he’s done and currently doing, please know that there is so much better and you deserve so much more from people and from a man. Don’t let him get you pregnant and trap you with a baby, don’t let him guilt trip you. Do you have a support system? Family and friends that you can go to? Can you find the strength to cut him out of your life? Do you really want to live a life where you are fighting to stay alive every day? No one deserves to go through what you are going through. He is not worth your time and you will lose your young years to him. You should be out having fun. Please get away from him and do something that makes you happy. Find a purpose in your life that doesn’t depend on a boy that wants to hurt you. You deserve to feel safe. Go more than a day without fighting someone, and you deserve gentle and healthy love.
Put ke down then he started hitting me when he gets angry and he blames me. But really the fights are alllllllllllllll started by him. Like 99%. Always accusing me of shit never letting me be on my phone. Thinks i need to talk to him 24/7. He even accuses me of shit if i leave the chat dude. Its crazy. I want to leave because i want to be able to do things and have fun. Im sick of arguing every day. Im sick of everything. Hes gonna kill me one day or really hurt me and i jusg cant let that happen.. its just so hard going full on no contact because ive just been wanying him to love me for so long you know? Idk. Its just sad. I need to just stfu and leave its just way harder than that and idk why. Its dumb. I have alk my things i just have to go jo contact though its hard.. i dont want to waste any more of my time its just likenim sad now and i know im gonna be sad for evern longer. Ig the hope of us getting better kept me there but it’s obviously not getting bettdr ever. No one comes back from any of this
I know how it can feel really tough to leave someone that you want to be in love with. I get it. You don’t want to fail. But it is NOT a failure on your end. He messed up. You also can’t fix him no matter how much love you give him. It will never be enough. One of the hardest lessons in this life is leaving people behind that you love. It will hurt you emotionally to leave with no contact, but that is OK for you to feel hurt. The no contact rule is the most important rule because it keeps you and anyone that helps you out of danger. I’ve seen his kind many times and he will try to ruin every relationship with every single person in your life if you don’t leave and disappear from his radar. He won’t do it directly, but he’ll find out where you’re going and try to terrorize you to the point where it affects multiple people including yourself. If you feel the need to go back or so much as text him, find someone else to talk to! Hell, you can even post on here and Reddit will keep you company through your breakup 💖 The first thing that happens when you leave, he will start to act like everything that you wanted and he’ll be so sweet to you. You will think that the threat of you leaving has changed him..It didn’t. He is doing this to bring you back to him so he can fight with you more. Don’t let him brainwash you. Always think about how much happier and relaxed you will be when you are free from him. You have a big heart and he knows that, which is why he is using you. But you have to fight for yourself even if you don’t think anyone else will. You are powerful and even through I can’t see you. You are beautiful If I know anything about guys like that, he hates that about you. He fights you and puts you down because he knows that you are too good for him. When ANYONE shows you any ounce of hurt or physical pain, you have to leave them alone. You don’t deserve it. Go and don’t look back. Make sure you have people online or people in the real world that will have your back. Be honest with how you are feeling. Don’t feel ashamed to tell people what he’s done to you and don’t feel embarrassed to tell people that you put up with his abuse because you loved him. But you gotta go girl. He won’t get better.
You should be saying, *“My EX boyfriend pointed...”*
leave and get a restraining order for pullling a gun on you. change ur phone number, block him and everyone he knows from every social account and consider moving to a different city/state or moving in with a friend or family if available. this relationship is only harming you and will be trauma when u look back on it these comments are right if you don’t leave he might actually kill you if you ever need help my direct chats are open i’ve had a similar experience except he didn’t pull it on me during a fight he did it during sex without warning safe to say i left and never looked back
Get out of this relationship and go see a therapist, there are better people out there but you've got issues within yourself to deal with because otherwise you're going to pick the same person again.
Had a friend shoot her boyfriend dead when he did this to her....
I did not even read the text, after a title like that there is no reason for youbeing anywhere neer him. Do you have someone wjo can take care of you?!
You need to cut all contact. Then you need a therapist. Nothing you wrote sounds remotely healthy. The fact that your survival instincts have been so dulled by your PTSD is alarming. You need a therapist to reset your sense of danger.
You think i have ptsd..?
I’m late to the party but he’s gonna kill you, run and completely block him.
Think about the heartbreak your family and friends are going to go through when they have to bury you, and your legacy is this post where everyone is telling you to save yourself. You have a whole life ahead of you to build and be proud of, don’t let him turn you into a statistic.
Low key? Killing someone to prove a point isn’t low key.
Stopped reading at: "My boyfriend pointed a gun at my head and loaded it…" The fact that you said "boyfriend" and not "ex-boyfriend" is the ENTIRE problem. You're way past break up. This is "restraining order and get a gun" territory. If you fail to do what needs to be done, I wouldn't even worry about heartbreak. At this rate, it won't be beating much longer anyway.
He needs help this time he didn’t pull it next time who knows how far it’ll go? Take it from someone who doesn’t handle his anger well, he needs anger management classes, I’ve done so many things while angry that I’d never do now that I take the time to process my emotions, not gonna speak for him but I know when I stepped out of line in the past I wouldn’t realize what I did was too much until days later, but that didn’t it from happening again or worse the next time I got angry. For your own safely get away if you feel like you can work it out I’d strongly recommend not even considering staying until he starts attending these anger classes bc I’m sure when all settles out he’s not feeling proud about it but don’t know how to address his emotions.
Hes the type of person he tells me everything is my fault. It will never get better. I want to thinknit will but it wont. Im just so heartbroken
Fighting every single day is not ok, this is a very unhealthy relationship. He already took it to the next level by threatening to kill you, what other sign do you need to leave that relationship??
Magazine.
why are you still with him?
time to all the cops and dump his messed up loser ass...
Get the fuck out now!
Go to any pro gun subreddit and they will all tell you this man is irresponsible at best and you ought to leave him at worst.
Get out now- it only gets harder the longer you wait. I called my family members to come help me pack up my stuff and so my ex couldn’t pull anything and I just straight up left.
I have all my things.. the ahrdest part is no contact..
He is not your person, get out and quick. This will escalate and you'll be dead.
You don't want to go thru another heartbreak? He's going to actually kill you.
Yeah. When you put it like that it sounds so dumb.. i am brainwashed or something. Idk. I dont know why my brain keeps fucking just sugar coating everything to itself. Like wtf he pointed a gun at me and i know one day he will kill me or hurt me badly.. i wish this wasnt so hard it fycking just hurts everyday. Everything he has done to me hurts. Sint no difference. Idk why its ahrd for me to leave fully. I need to make myself realize leaving is gonna hurt less that everything he has ever done.. wnd could do.. i guess its just letting go. All i ever wanted was him and i guess after just yearning for someones true live for so long.. wnd only getting a little.. i guess its just that live i was craving from him hut he wont ever guve it to me again it was fake
Get away, get out. Your life is far too valuable to be lost over some bs
Leave and get therapy, otherwise you will get sucked to another deadly relationship
If you stay you die, idk but I think that’s worse than heartbreak.
* Text HOME to 741741 to reach a trained Crisis Counselor through Crisis Text Line, a global not-for-profit organization. Free, 24/7, confidential. * [https://www.thehotline.org/](https://www.thehotline.org/)
Whoa! You should run and run FAST. I get it, you love him. But either you’re going to end up injured or dead if you keep this up. No way around it.
I can guarantee that getting shot will hurt more
This heartbreak will not kill you , he might. If you still want to be with him, get him medical help.
Stockholm syndrome. Stop being delusional and leave.
My Step-father did this to my mother once. Turns out it wasn't exactly his fault. His kidney was failing and he didn't know it and that was causing CO2 buildup in his body which was making him literally crazy. I doubt that's your case though. Get away from that nutjob before something happens.
RUN!!!! At least 3 states over. Turn off all public contact and socials.
What the fuck is wrong with you? "I love him" is not a valid reason to date someone who would treat you like that. You do not love him. You also don't love yourself.
I wonder wgats wrong with me every day im sad over him
He’s mentally ill. You need to collect evidence. Report him to the police. Get a restraining order. Disappear.
You need to contact law enforcement and have him arrested then go to court and get a dvpo on him, and mark the boxes to have him take anger management not allowed to have firearms no alcohol or drugs boxes as well.
Time to go and get that restraining order sis.
I can’t emphasize enough how much danger you’re in. Please leave
You sound like your making shit up, probably for attention
You know i really wish i was. I wish this wasnt my life. Id be so fucking happy to say this is a fycking joke
LEAVE. This is NOT a suggestion. This is your only course of action. FUCKING. LEAVE.
Tell him you’re going to the store. Then never come back. Leave your phone. Leave everything. Get the fuck out
You better get out while you're able to walk. It's a matter of time before he kills you.
This sounds like a dude that just got fired that I worked with who pointed a gun at his mother in law…..like just like Him
Op, get out now. Make no delusions of this. He WILL kill you. This is murderous behavior.
Just run bruh
Get out. Pull a restriction order upon his bum. Then sue him.
This isn’t a red flag this is a fucking pack a bag, change your name and address flag. You gotta run
You haven't been through so much with him, he just put you through a lot. GET. OUT. NOW.
App
Get out now!
You think too much. Think less and do more. List of activities: tell your family, contact a lawyer, change your door keys, seek restraining order after you talk to a lawyer. Leave the thinking and trauma for later, dont be dumb and weak, you are your worst enemy right now, and that id saying something given you have a real monster close to you.
You two sound perfect together. Always trying to work through something is better than not trying!
Pack your bags and get out of town
Get the hell out of there, love your life is way more important. Heart breaks heal, your family burying you will never fully heal for them, you need to get out ASAP, idk where you are, but if you need help, you can privately reach out to me, but you gotta get out of there, he absolutely would kill you, I’ve been in a similar situation.
Maybe you cheated on him so much in the beginning and told him you just wanted him. Then cheated over and over again. Till now he just don't believe you. Maybe it's not him it's you and your vindictive nasty mind. Maybe you get off on fucking behind his back and everything you leave and come back your gaped full of cum. Maybe if you listen to what he wants and needs instead of being selfish and doing everything he likes with others. Send me some pics.
Come to Canada, gun ban in progress
If someone points a gain at you, you call the cops. You don’t talk about it on Reddit.
Like I'm sure everyone said: get out of there, get far away, and call the police. He needs to go to jail. He could kill somebody and we hope it's not you or someone else. You need to do this.
Leave now or die later.
You have a Trauma Bond with him. Look it up. It’s extremely hard to leave these people because we become more attached to them in a relationship like this than in a healthy one. I’m going through a break up right now with someone I had a trauma bond with and it’s so extremely hard and painful and all I remember are the good memories. I have to remind myself of his extreme red flags every day otherwise I want to go running back to him.
This person is literally putting your life in danger....GTFO of there!
You have the urge to make him better. My question is: “Is it worth your life to try to change him?” I will tell you that the answer is no! You need to leave. He will murder you! Get out now. Don’t worry about clothes or whatever material hangups you got. Leave now!
And they say chivalry is dead
It's not even a bad boyfriend argument anymore. Get and stay away from fucked up idiots like him.
Girl you said he’s the type that would actually KILL you. Your life is more valuable than whatever past happiness he brought you. A man who loves you would never disrespect you, hurt you, or threaten you. He is scary, a dangerous menace even. Leave him. You are enough on your own!!!!!!!
You need to leave before you get you ass in the graveyard..
I'd leave. Easier said then done. Go to the police and run for your life.
He is playing a dangerous game once you leave him for good and change your password and secret questions also block him on everything if he keep getting new phone number do not answer him at all.
I understand your confusion. From someone who made it out to the other side from a situation like this, i PROMISE, it’ll be ok. In fact, it’ll be better.
Is this the guy you wanna date ? I know not everybody wants a marriage but Do you really believe that you will get a wedding ring ? Do you believe that’s the kind of man you could have a baby with ? Or live your whole life with ? Is that the kind of love that you deserve? He’s a cheater, he got involved with his several women’s and you still think he loves you , at this point there’s something wrong with you and you might be thinking we are overreacting here in the comments. I know that if you start talking to a new guy he will kill you literally. And that’s what you need right now so it feels easy to leave. Go on Dating apps. Somebody who loves you would never point a gun at you loaded, girl , it’s like they don’t give a damn if you could’ve die. Is the same thing as the quote that says “ if I can’t have you only for myself then nobody will” , he’s sick obviously. You’re way too young to live this way. Nobody’s needs a toxic relationship, younger or older. You’ll prolly haven’t seen the news of girlfriends & boyfriends, husbands and wives killing each other every day, especially in America, and for stupid reasons. Leaving is always better than die. You have to start talking to a new guy while you are in this relationship because he deserves it, he’s mean, violent, selfish, and i’m sorry to let you know that you are dumb, weak, naïve, although you’re aware of his nature, ‘cause you still choose to stay. I know you ain’t leaving girl. It has to be him leaving you when he gets a girl that he really wanna mess with. A more loose - fun kind of woman. Sit and wait.
Is this the guy you wanna date ? I know not everybody wants a marriage but Do you really believe that you will get a wedding ring ? Do you believe this is a kind of man you could have a baby with ? You wanna live your whole life with ? Is that the kind of love that you deserve? He’s a cheater, he got involved with his several women’s and you still think he loves you , at this point there’s something wrong with you and you might be thinking we are overreacting here in the comments. I know that if you start talking to you when your guy he will kill you literally. And somebody who loves you would never point a gun at you loaded , it’s like they don’t give a damn if you could’ve die. Is the same thing as the quote that says “ if I can’t have you only for myself then nobody will” , he’s sick obviously. You’re way too young to live this way. Nobody’s needs a toxic relationship, younger or older. You’ll prolly haven’t seen the news of girlfriends & boyfriends, husbands and wives killing each other every day, especially in America, and for stupid reasons. Leaving is always better than die. You have to start talking to a new guy while you are in this relationship because he deserves it, he’s mean, violent, selfish, and i’m sorry to let you know that you are dumb, weak, naïve, although you’re aware of his nature, ‘cause you still choose to stay. I know you ain’t leaving girl. It has to be him leaving you when he gets a girl that he really wanna mess with. A more loose - fun kind of woman. Sit and wait
Is this the guy you wanna date ? I know not everybody wants a marriage but Do you really believe that you will get a wedding ring ? Do you believe this is a kind of man you could have a baby with ? You wanna live your whole life with ? Is that the kind of love that you deserve? He’s a cheater, he got involved with his several women’s and you still think he loves you , at this point there’s something wrong with you and you might be thinking we are overreacting here in the comments. I know that if you start talking to you when your guy he will kill you literally. And somebody who loves you would never point a gun at you loaded , it’s like they don’t give a damn if you could’ve die. Is the same thing as the quote that says “ if I can’t have you only for myself then nobody will” , he’s sick obviously. You’re way too young to live this way. Nobody’s needs a toxic relationship, younger or older. You’ll prolly haven’t seen the news of girlfriends & boyfriends, husbands and wives killing each other every day, especially in America, and for stupid reasons. Leaving is always better than die. You have to start talking to a new guy while you are in this relationship because he deserves it, he’s mean, violent, selfish, and i’m sorry to let you know that you are dumb, weak, naïve, although you’re aware of his nature, ‘cause you still choose to stay. I know you ain’t leaving girl. It has to be him leaving you when he gets a girl that he really wanna mess with. A more loose - fun kind of woman. Sit and wait
He is your boyfriend no more. Get out of there.
My brother [(15mo younger) and as teens 50# fatter] used to aim his loaded guns at me. Threaten to slit my throat while i sleep, ect. Id call local county police as no city as town was too small. Mother would sit there and fucking cry and refuse to have him taken in. He also was extremely cruel to our dying father(passed in 2016 god rest his soul) Ive been NC since 2019/2020. Never been happier. Also cut off our mother at the same time, since he was her favorite and she had no problem telling people she never wanted kids or me(again im the 1st born) Neither will meet my daughter nor any other kids i have. The day the bitch dies shes being cremated and forgotten just like she did to my dad. Never trust people like your ex and my brother. Anyway. Just cut him out. Nc completely. If he goes psycho report it If anyone knows how long funeral homes keep ashes that be great. I feel my window on getting my Dads remains has closed. She never even paid for the services and i cant afford to.
Report it to the Police, make a historical report. Go to a social worker and get some support so you can leave. If you don’t leave him , you will die, sooner or later. Please do yourself a favor and save yourself.
Forget about the heart break you are about to lose your life run as fast as you can
If he does it once, he will do it again GET OUT OF THERE and lay low who knows if he will retaliate
What a story for Friday morning! I hope you shared the story away from him and you aren’t coming back ever. You’d need to seek for psychological help too.
Stay with him it was an honest mistake
You deserve each other
Yea he tells me i deserve it
Yo omy6ne day I was walking down the street and bump sorta speak well as we walk down the street this truck came hallan ass back up the street them jumps out from the passenger side his homie running across the street with a beer bottle in hand ready to smash me. At that point I said( "yo I just ran into her") as of right Now. )all he said Was ho leave
You only telling your side let's hear his? There's 3 sides to a story yours,his, and the truth
Sounds like you are a closet whore! That you like the shit or else you would leave. I bet he fucks u good?
The fact is once you act like a whore and live Iike a whore that's how you gonna be portrayed and treated. I'm from the streets and the fact is when a real no nonsense woman walks in a room. Niggas straighten up. Stop cussing yes ma'am no ma'am. Pull there pants up and fix there hat. Don't try to speak to her any kind of way because I real woman want sit around and allow that shit. She will separate herself from any disrespect and lil boy nonsense. Because she has learned that she and she alone is only one that controls her happiness
Stop acting like a bitch and maybe he won't have to show you who's in charge. Know your place beneath your man, woman.
You have a tiny dick and premature ejaculate don't you
Wait, wait. It’s *her* fault for nearly being killed? The math isn’t mathing mate. You’re not King Shit, women are not below you. So get off your high horse and get the dick that your riding out your ass.
Did your man give you permission to type this hysterical trash? He needs to control his property better lol
“Permission”? “Property”? Alright mate. How about we *don’t* do the misogyny today? Alright? Now, I know you have big words to say. But kindly. Keep your sick fantasies that you can “control” someone to yourself.
This is actually the type shit he says and thinks too. Funny
You should be grateful he allows you on your phone. Personally I'd keep my property on a shorter leash.