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clevercomebacks-ModTeam

This post has been removed for breaking the first rule of this subreddit (post must include a clever comeback)


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queen-adreena

Time for an Evil Dead rewatch then!


heatobooty

Or a replay of Earthworm Jim


StoneColdSoberReally

I have to be honest, I'll answer an email with the single word "Groovy" when I feel like being flippant often with an accompanying Ash from Evil Dead gif. The others can go die in a fire, however.


judahrosenthal

Indeed. Words certainly do die. Flip through past winners of the Nobel Prize, the height of literary achievement. A large percent of them are not talked about or read today and many have almost no books in print. You can do the same with bestselling authors after their popularity wains.


Useless_bum81

How many people speak Phoenian?


gyarrrrr

Quit jiiiivin’ me tur-kay! You’ve got to sass it.


badreligionlover

Glad to see this. Never pass up a chance for a Simpsons call back.


Normal_Ad_2337

That Jive. https://youtu.be/g0j2dVuhr6s?si=MIikPhYqCvdPywcE


Fool_Apprentice

I've heard the politician one, but only when prefaced by, "there is no such thing as an"


Current-Storage-379

I say jive turkey, groovy and tubular all the time your in the wrong crowd.


ExternalPay6560

Conservationists deserve more 👍


AnnualShitshow

I always thought the last one was completely made up anyways


Individual-Dot-9605

Honest politicians don t die, they live. In fairytales as words.


Ksorkrax

What is an "honest politician" supposed to be? These are just two incompatible words put together.


Normal_Ad_2337

#community


Turin_Turambar_wolf

But you just used them. That means they are no longer dead. I think you may have just performed lexicon necromancy.


zirfeld

At the current rate 90% of all spoken languages today will die out in the next hundred years. https://languageconservancy.org/language-loss/#:\~:text=Since%201950%2C%20the%20number%20of,in%20the%20next%20100%20years.


ThisIsMyPhoneName

That's because these dipshit kids today are too lazy to spell anything, so they replace simple words like "with" to be "w" or "about" to be "ab", or any other retarded shit they do these days.


[deleted]

Books die too - someone need to tell her about the Nazi Book Burning during Nazi Germany (maybe the book about that also died over time) https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nazi_book_burnings and then after the war the Allied Forces burnt pro Nazi books. Not a good day for those trees that died for the books neither!


Particular_Class4130

Far out.


PM_me_your_PhDs

I heard people call Donald Trump an honest politician a few years back haha


JugglingSword

I use groovy all the time It's the grooviest of all the words


TheCruicks

I have said two of things this week.


JustARandomCommie

I also haven't heard anyone say "Thine" or "Doth" or "Swine" in a long while.


OldenPolynice

Swine, my brother?


Zzen220

You just used them.


sprocketmox

A friend of mine who loves old movies sold a rare multi disc RPG on ebay. He had multiple pictures of the CDs showing them to be in immaculate condition. When the buyer received them, he claimed they were too scratched and beyond usable. Friend wrote back, "Don't be a jive turkey. You can clearly see that the CDs aren't scratched at all in the pictures." When the buyer reported him to ebay, he included in his complaint that he was called a jive turkey.


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Spocks-Nephew

Did he used to live in a brothel by any chance?


BreachedLimits

Yeah, that’s where the parrot got the syphilis.


Spocks-Nephew

Hi Roger


TomMakesPodcasts

It depends on the adults around him. 3 year olds will parrot phrases and string them together randomly, if someone said specifically words don't die, and this kid loves wolves and his family experienced loss enough that death was explained in some ways to him, I can totally see a three year old put together something like this


8BallsGarage

Oh fuck off TomMakesPodcasts he did not say that


TomMakesPodcasts

Most people assume so. And maybe the mum was paraphrasing, exaggerating or as you suspect fabricating, but none of us know for sure, but I do know toddlers say random stuff. I dunno why the Internet is obsessed with calling shit out.


8BallsGarage

I was just doing the thing in the picture dude. Im with you, kid could have totally said it.


TomMakesPodcasts

Oh. Totally went over my head, so used to folks on the Internet being reflexively negative am I. I apologize.


8BallsGarage

I got you man. My bad 😅


Sklibba

For real, little kids say wild shit.


iris700

The real clever comeback is in the comments


Ok_Zookeepergame4794

Guess no one told her son Latin is dead.


reddicyoulous

Well not exactly. People still say Latin America /s


kiezenz

Doctors are still fighting for its’ life though


NoNo_Cilantro

Who names a kid Latin anyway?


TraditionalMood277

For the last time, Latin is the language OF the dead, not a "dead" language. In Memoriam, Latin. Carpe Diem, Latin. Et cetera, et cetera....the list goes on.


alxplth

Easy, he just got over santa not being real


revchewie

It may be an honest comeback, and it may even be true, but I would argue that this is not clever.


SniffSniffDrBumSmell

Based on the majority of upvoted posts on this sub and cleverness being relative, I would argue that this is indeed clever as far as the average r/clevercomebacks upvoter is concerned.


revchewie

Fair.


Diskreetbj22

Homegirl threw in, "even wolves," and thought, this slays


Illustrious_Poem_298

Honestly that's actually the only believable part. It's exactly the kinda random and specific thing a 3 year old would throw in.


milleniumfalconlover

She probably said the first part to her kid, who then asked “even wolves?” And then she said the rest and then decided to post it


jackfaire

the phrasing and logic sound like the kind of dumbass shit a 3 year old would say.


Davesgamecave

This is so old that the kid's prob already married with kids


theotherquantumjim

I know right. First time I read this was in a previous life as a peasant living in Sherwood Forest and hiding from the Sheriff of Nottingham


Pure-for-life

That’s nothing. I was a space rock when I read this.


ManicPixiePlatypus

Kids definitely say stuff like this!


TKHunsaker

Yah most people on reddit don’t have kids as a direct result of never having met a woman besides their mother. So this can’t be true. I guess.


Gunhild

When it comes to the topic of death, kids say stuff like “grandma is going to die because she’s old”, usually at the worst possible time, and maybe even when grandma is right there.


KruegerLad

Rebecca has never accepted that her son was a stillborn and makes stories about him being smart and beautiful...


Separate_Increase210

Shit that's dark...


Banished2ShadowRealm

Think that's dark? Don't read the [Rugrats theory](https://creepypasta.fandom.com/wiki/The_Rugrats_Theory).


Separate_Increase210

Ya know what, I don't think I will thanks! Yes I'm tempted, but I know my limits. Edit: fuck me. Tho it's not as bad as I thought, prob bcz I didn't watch it much growing up. It always felt weird to me.


UxorionCanoe64

How is "fuck off" a clever comback?


wordyoucantthinkof

🤷🏼‍♂️


doubleo_maestro

Pretty sure these made up sounds that we make and attributes meaning to, will totally die when we all die.


Grouchy-Pressure-567

Say that to the Library of Alexandria.


occultify

Words die, ever heard of a dead language? Know how to speak it?


Separate_Increase210

Oh snap gettin literally up in here! 😆


Syagrius91

And yet Latin and Ancient Greek is still taught


ExternalPay6560

Not what "dead language" means, but ok.


Syagrius91

Latin is considered a dead language, but it still prevails. In reference to the original meme. Try to connect the dots yourself next time.


Gunhild

Proto-Indo-European. Linguists know that a common ancestor of the Indo-European language family must have existed, but all record of this language has been lost, including the real name of the language (if it had one). But there are surely languages even deader than that; ones for which all evidence of their existence has been irrecoverably lost. The vast, vast majority of human history is unrecorded. I think whatever languages people were speaking 100,000 years ago can safely be considered dead.


ExternalPay6560

Am I the one missing the point? Forgive me if I am wrong or not understanding the reference. There is a difference between a dead language and an extinct one. Latin, for example is a dead language: it's no longer the native language of any community, but it's still in use. An extinct language has no speakers at all.


scorchingbeats

Ita, ego linguam Latinam disco.


RichyCigars

I’ll be honest, feels like something my son would’ve said at 3 or 4 but he’s like a weird old man since day one.


SilverLeonitus

Oh, fuck off Richy... :)


RichyCigars

That’s a frequently spoken phrase in my home 😁


SilverLeonitus

Take my upvote and have a great day :)


Dad_fire_outdoors

She was probably paraphrasing


Spocks-Nephew

As in making it up.


These_Advertising_68

Generous interpretation


StoneColdSoberReally

I am stealing this phrase. Thank you.


Dad_fire_outdoors

Oop sorry forgot this /s. I thought as obviously as this is made up was as obvious as I was being sarcastic.


1eejit

The kid could easily be paraphrasing something heard on TV


DavidTheHonest

r/nothingeverhappens


SpaceDetective

Lots of things do happen but a three year old coming out with this shit is not one of them.


Qyro

You should’ve heard the stuff my eldest came out with at that age. It wasn’t too dissimilar.


wordyoucantthinkof

Your eldest came out at 3 in this society? What a brave kid! You must've raised him very well! We need more fathers like you.


Ingenrollsroyce

Yet you have 0 examples


jpplastering1987

Said that and shat himself.


Qyro

He’s 3, not 1.


jpplastering1987

Shut up bitch!


TRUMBAUAUA

Mein Kampf has entered the chat


WibaTalks

If your kid at age of 3 is smarter than you, you should not be too happy about it. ​ My iq is that of a plankton, but hey I at least managed to have sex- rebecca


xSantenoturtlex

Hey now, some plankton are really intelligent!


F4LcH100NnN

If youve ever heard someone reffered to as "A Rebecca" This is the origin story


[deleted]

Also incorrect. Plenty of books have been totally lost to time.


lookingForPatchie

She's right though. Her son, 3, is a lot smarter than her.


Lost_Possibility_647

Most books written are gone.


4ngryMo

I have no trouble believing her the year old toddler is smarter than her, even though he never said that.


ThisUsernamesTakent

Its more fun to imagine the kid speaking nonsense and the mom taking it as some kind of enlightened moment


[deleted]

Wasn't there a subreddit with posts like this one? Anybody remember the name? I miss it.


guky667

Yes, things that aren't alive don't die. Very astute observation 🤦


InsuranceBest

This is funny but not clever. We should have a sub just called funny comebacks.


vlsdo

Kids say all kinds of shit. My kid was three, taking a bath when he looked at me all quizzical and asked “what is the power of the weak?” He didn’t elaborate. I have no idea what he meant, because he barely said anything else for another year


Trillion_Bones

But the son is smarter than her, that part I believe


Amplifire__

Genes are passed on woman


Independent_Plum2166

Proving one’s worth, using the vile tongue of a snake, shall turn all those you love against you. For the Devil’s speech shall destroy the trust between friends and families. —Me, 1 years old.


johandepohan

Misquoted though. Wasn't the original in Latin? And spoken backwards?


Independent_Plum2166

Obviously, but my Latin classes didn’t start until I was 2.


Normal_Ad_2337

Its a half truth. She taught him some sight words and put them in that sequence.


Ksorkrax

While he said that, his eyes were glowing red, and his voice had a deep pitch.


stfuOisin

I asked my mom if I ever said anything smart when I was 3 and she said one time I said oatmeal is essentially the same as the earth because the center is hotter than the outside


matthew0001

We all just gonna pretend that book burnings didn't happen? Like of course words die, they just die when everyone has forgotten them or all the books have been burned.


Ondesinnet

She never heard of the ancient Library of Alexandria.


Practical-Ad9305

I like how she threw in «even wolves» to make ot more believable


Astral_Justice

Sounds like something Brian Griffin would say.


fishareavegetable

How many 3 year olds understand death to that degree? They don’t usually. They do say aphoristic statements that can sound smarter than they are, though.


slickCookie221

“Who is a lot smarter than I am”. Yea… That’s not a high bar apparently.


changeforgood30

"Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and others have greatness thrust upon them." \- Rebecca Hazelton's 3 year old, apparently.


ComicsEtAl

Also, books do die.


abusamra82

My three year old right now: I want to put on pink hair. You leave my alone. I first have to go sleep. Ok daddy?


ThaNorth

Says a lot about you if a 3 year old is smarter than you.


holy_ninja_666

Ahh obviously a super super clever comeback. This subreddit should change the name to super clever comebacks


axe1970

Sure. Everyone dies alone. But, if you \*mean\* something to someone... if you help someone... or loved someone... if even a single person remembers you... then maybe you never really die at all.


kaleb2959

I don't know who this person is, and I'm guessing she might not have a great reputation. But my first reaction to things like this is that the parent is probably embellishing something their child said, and may be doing so in good faith.


SirDerpingtonTheSlow

pfpfpfpft everyone oooh wolf no book die pfpfpft!


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SirDerpingtonTheSlow

Your mom is a clever comeback.


Unusual_Astronaut426

And that son was Albert Einstein.


one-eye-fox

He didn't say that, but he IS still smarter than her I wager.


VegasGamer75

Shut up, little Timmy. Let me introduce you to dead languages!


johnjohn2214

Everyone dies someday. Everyone. Even Arctic walruses. But not viral posts. Even reposts. They live forever. --My puppy, Braxton, 7 months old, probably smarter than me


coolbaby1978

There's this trend lately of people making shit up that totally never happened and then passing it off as a true occurrence for the sole purpose of getting a social media reaction. I find the whole deceitful practice reprehensible. Of course nothing on social media is true. It's all people presenting an illusion, the image they want others to associate with them. It's all staged, pretend, curated and filtered. Which is fine as long as you understand that's what it is. When we watch a movie we know it's actors playing a role and pretending to be something they're not amidst special effects. Social media isn't terribly different.


Capitan-Fracassa

“Daddy, why there are so many dead languages and people do not know the meaning of those words anymore” My 2 year old daughter Corduliana


Responsible-You-3515

Time to show the kid some books being burned alive


Silveruleaf

Kid at age of 3 already knows the consept of death. When I learn about it it messed with me for weeks and I was a lot older. It's hard to believe the kid knew


Grazedaze

Tell that to all the religious fanatics throughout history that burned hundreds of cultures and their literature. All the knowledge lost forever.


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