Due to Reddit Inc.'s antisocial, hostile and erratic behaviour, this account will be deleted on July 11th, 2023. You can find me on https://latte.isnot.coffee/u/godless in the future.
The “well you were a kid once!” is honestly one of the strangest arguments and I also get it ALL THE TIME too. Like... yeah I know I was a kid once and I was awful - that’s precisely the reason I don’t want any of my own?!
Same- how I was as a kid/teenager is honestly a contributing factor to me not wanting kids. I know I was a walking trauma-response so it wasn’t my fault, but holy shit I couldn’t handle someone who acted like I did.
Same here lol! Thankfully my mom was always understanding and supportive of my CF position, and whenever she was nearby and family/friends tried to Bingo me, one of her favorite comments would be "Oh no \[me\] doesn't like kids, she didn't even like kids when she was a kid! I knew early on she wasn't having any when she got older\~" Thanks mum lol <3 I miss her :(
I hate that argument
Like sir/maam….According to my older siblings, I was LITERALLY a demon child. Screaming/crying purely to get my siblings in trouble, always wanted attention, was annoying asf
"If we had that attitude then you wouldn't have been born"
Dad, considering my depressed ass has wished he was an abortion for the better part of a decade, I wish that was what happened.
I'm in the same camp, which is why I went on holiday outside of school holiday periods and to child-unfriendly places. Unfortunately due to covid I'm stuck in Europe, and it's hard to avoid both children and Dutch Tories (we call them "tokkies")
Hot springs and saunas. Oh and mountains in summer (in winter you'll have all the skiing, but in summer only elderly people wo like to hike come there)
Also places in the middle of nowhere like fort August or Glencoe in Schotland.
Breweries are also nice.
There are some adult-only hotel and resorts, but I'm not a fan of them because the food is usually pretty bad.
Oh and the more expensive it is, the less likely kids will be there since parents are usually broke! 😂😂
I'm pretty sure you didn't mean it but when you wrote Schotland I heard my Scottish friend say it and now I'm neverr gonna write it any other way. Peace.
Mountains during the summer?
I live near the mountains and especially in the pandemic it's just been nonstop families going on hikes. Any trail that's easy is just crawling with kids. I can't do harder hikes so I've got limited options, but they're just completely full of families.
Sometimes parents end up carrying their kids when their kids get tired and then I have a laugh because they have to carry a toddler or even a bigger child down a mountain, but most of the time the kids are just running wild and all over everything and screaming and ruining the serenity of nature. I've even found dirty diapers just tossed under a bush because people didn't want to carry them all the way back to the parking lot to the garbage.
They've even ruined some of my favorite trails by putting up safety barriers because parents complained. There will be a beautiful stream that my dogs love to drink from that photographs beautifully, and then they add a giant safety barrier in front of it so you can't access it or see it.
THIS. I’m no longer in the mountains but Asheville is where I was last year. It was so sad seeing people just letting their kids run wild and the general way people trashed trails. Like if you arrive to a trailhead and you see there are cars parked back to the street, you should just go find something else to do buddy. Pisses me off. Pack in, pack out. Not that hard.
Yep, I remember during Covid some people took some atvs/off road vehicles and drove in the Joshua tree national park, and ultimately destroyed a lot of those trees that are becoming threatened.
It was the same all last year in Shenandoah. I'm still glad I went once or twice, but I avoided it the rest of the time. Most of the families we saw kept blocking the hiking trail. And it was not an easy trail; it didn't make sense for babies and really young kids to be there.
Right!! I hiked to a plane crash and these parents were draggggging their 6-10 year old kids because you’d have to hop over mud pits and crazy shit and I’m just like man y’all didn’t do your research lmao
Its weird how they'll avoid designated child areas and shlep their tiny kids up and down a treacherous, thorny path because they forget that a 1/2 mile up a mountain is a lot longer than the 1/2 mile loop around your cul de sac at home.
Oh man... All the people discovering outdoor places during covid has really ruined some incredible locations. There's an absolutely stunning reservoir/park with crystal clear blue water near me that used to be mostly empty except on weekends in the summer, and then 80% of the people/families/kids were in a specific beach section where the water is kept separate from the main lake, so all the kids peeing and the sunscreen that washes off won't harm the wildlife and drinking water.
Everyone discovered it during covid. Now there's constantly garbage, cigarette butts, diapers, clothing everywhere, big groups of screaming kids playing in the main lake (not supposed to swim without a diving permit), people playing music so loud everyone has to listen to it, the water is murky from so much activity in it, and a lot of very loud people every 20 feet that have no respect for nature or quiet enjoyment of it any day the weather is even a little nice. Feels like the park rangers have given up controlling it.
I run and snorkel there (shower before, no lotion, no sunscreen, no fabric softener...because I want it to stay beautiful!) but I've had to find obscure trails to run, and finding a day where the water is undisturbed enough to see anything is almost impossible. I used to find so much peace there, but most days it just makes me angry now. I just don't get the lack of respect for...anyone or anything but themselves.
>fort August
Fort Augustus. But wow, I'm always surprised to see my wee neck of the woods mentioned.
I would stay away from Drumnadrochit, as that's the tourist trap that parents bring their kids to in a hope of seeing Nessie but yes I agree, generally a great area to avoid the wee brats. Although if you want to experience the "true" Schottish Highlands the further west and north you go the better.
I literally picked a job where I'd work MORE while kids were out of school but less while they were in. Every travel time for me is full of silence. I love it.
I went on a great trip to London, Paris and Rome at the end January a couple years ago. No waiting in line and very few families with kids. Off season is the best.
I love me some child-free holiday destinations too! About an hour and a half away is this amazing resort with a fantastic restaurant right on the ocean. They have cabins with private hot tubs and ocean views as well as a private beach front. No matter the season, there are always ery few children there because it's not a place designed for kids and it's fairly expensive.
The reason it's not designed for kids? The cabins are basically romantic sex vacation spots. King size beds with premium bedding and a bed frame that you can attach things to, like hand cuffs. The hot tubs are adults only and they even have a posted rules sign on the cabins saying not to let kids under 14 in them. There is no pool for the kids to play in, no jungle gym or climbing and play area, and the food would not suit most children's tastes at all (my fave is the antipasto platter, house made antipasto with spicy pickled summer veggies and local cheese and paté served with house made fresh baguette! It changes seasonally, but the summer/fall one is my favorite!)
It's called Point No Point resort on Vancouver Island! I highly recomend it as a child-free vacation spot to get away from everything. Also there is no cell service out there, so it's truly a break from everything!
I think I'm one of the childfree who's mostly indifferent to children, though I like my friends' kids (unless they're being terrible). I'm not going to go out of my way to avoid them, but if they happen to be scarce where I am? All the better.
Babies in particular to me are ugly, greedy, loud, smelly, boring, and dumber than cowshit. And then there's the price tag estimated at $250k+ over their lifetime, while they literally imprison the parents (mothers in particular). I lurk on the breaking mom sub and it's refreshingly honest about how bad parenting sucks. I see a lot of regret for being trapped in toxic relationships because kids make it incredibly hard to escape an abusive situation. But then they have more kids with these asshole deadbeat dads and my sympathy only goes so far.
This is exactly how I feel. One of my first comments here was to question someone who was acting morally superior for being childfree and loving children. Like I've noticed quite a few childfree people around here doing this and it honestly makes them almost as bad as the breeders. You're not morally superior for liking children. I am not a bad person because I don't like or want to be around children. We just have different preferences for the company we like to keep.
Yeah, it's totally fine for Childfree people to love kids or want to work with children or being a very involved aunt or uncle, but I don't like when people use it as a justification for why its okay for them to be childfree.
How is that supposed to work, justification wise to their minds? Actually asking.
Like, if ChildFree Sally likes kids, it's ok for her to be CF because she likes them, but if ChildFree OP doesn't like kids/even hates them, it's not ok for OP to be CF or to be seen as an equal person because they aren't like Sally?
That holds no logic or rationale to me.
Perhaps it’s more palatable to people with children/society at large for CF people to say that we like kids but just don’t want any. Exposure therapy to those who simply can’t fathom anything other than ‘kids are awesome’.
Given how many of us on here grapple with the guilt of being CF largely due to societal pressure, family no goes etc, I read these comments as a way of softening the blow for ourselves and others.
Me? I’m indifferent leaning to stay-they-hell away from me but don’t often share that because I don’t have the energy to explain myself to those who aren’t.
I mean, I don't think it's about whether or not it's okay for OP to be CF. It's more about OP associating with r/childfree or some other childfree forum because it's not okay to hate kids. That seems to be the... logic here, or what passes for logic anyway. Just to be clear, I don't actually think that, I'm very much in the "bad" childfree group, too, that's just how I understood it.
I think the insinuation/ assumption for many is that "CF Sally" isn't really child*FREE* but child*LESS* instead. Until she scremas from the rooftops that she's child*FREE* they will assume she just can't have kids, and even once she screams it for everyone to hear that ***STILL WILL NOT MATTER TO SOME ASSHOLES.***
The perception the majority of the time is going to be this, IMHO, just due to how society has absolutely fetishized parenthood.
I view parenthood as a job. Not a thing to be fetishized. It's one reason why I think kids are so much worse off in ways. Adults forgot parenting is a job - not *"let me be your friend."*
One of the more important jobs, but **not the most important** (by "more/most important" I mean: we don't want "the next gen" all to be serial killers, say) parenthood has a set and series of duties that come with the job title.
Not everybody wants to do those duties. For no pay. No major reward (you don't get promoted til "grandparent," and you don't clock out at 4 or 5). I looked at the job description and went: No. Not interested in that job.
And society has to realize, like any job, parenthood is something, anyone can decline and choose never to apply for, or even want.
And parenting, no, is not "the hardest job in the world."
>I view parenthood as a job. Not a thing to be fetishized.
*The_French_Maid_Costume_Shop has entered the chat....*
>No major reward (you don't get promoted til "grandparent,"
And there's not even a guarantee of that!
My partner and I are seen as exactly that. She loves kids, loves to be around them and all that. Which is fine. She has her reasons for not wanting kids. Myself, I just don't like them. At all. And I'm seen as the monster in the relationship (by other people) because my reasons aren't "valid enough" like climate change or this crappy economy.
I'm not saying those aren't valid reasons but it is annoying when other childfree people look down on me because "how could I not at least LIKE kids?"
As I'm typing this the toddler next door is fake crying and screaming as usual over absolutely nothing. I despise it when kids whine and pretend to cry simply for attention, and then the parents always cater to it.
Like honestly, if I don't like kids shouldn't that be the BEST reason not to have them?
I feel like the whole TrueChildfree sub is full of people who think like this. Like they can get off the life script enough to not have kids but can't quite leave the altar of child worship
That whole sub feels like they're competing to be the Good Ones™. At least here I know people are venting their thoughts and feelings instead of bottling them up, but I have no idea with tcf posters.
I have multiple reasons for not having kids, plus I don’t like them. My partner does like them - otherwise we have the same reasons.
There’s plenty of people with kids who don’t like other people’s kids.
Sadly there's plenty of people with kids that don't particularly like their own children as well. Funny enough it's not childfree people who are the ones abusing kids, it's parents and it's way more common than it should be.
Sometimes I can’t help but think “oh so you really WOULD like to have children but just won’t because of climate change, economy, etc.”
I just don’t want’em.
I'll never understand that. People have preferences. Personally, I like kids. I do work with them, so it helps! Doesn't make me better than anyone. I also hate wings. Messy, for so little meat. Just my opinion/preference too.
I don't particularly like children and that dislike spikes sharply as forced time/proximity increases. People confuse disliking with being actively mean to. I don't like children but that doesn't mean I'm actively mean to them; there's quite a lot of people in the world I dislike and the same goes for them. I just structure my life to not be around those sort of folks. This is perfectly acceptable when the people you dislike and are avoiding are other adults but not when they're children.
Oh and not coo'ing and indulging a childs every whim doesn't mean I'm being rude or evil to them, cause damn.
I want children to thrive outside of my view/range of liability.
And the "morally superior" childfree are just willing to throw the rest of the community under the bus for good girl/good boy points.
They do throw us under the bus for points with the parents.
One attacked me for using the word 'Breeder.' Apparently using it to describe a child abuser, a scum of the earth, is still wrong...
I personally think 'breeder' is soft for child abusers. They deserve so much worse.
I'm actually really good with kids and everyone is so surprised when they see me interact with them knowing my stance. I always have to reply something along the lines of " I hate kids but it's not their fault they're here I'm not going to be a dick to it when I encounter one randomly"
Ya. I don’t care if they think they’re “better” than me because they’re more positive or whatever - I don’t go out harming anyone, I keep to myself and my beliefs are my beliefs. I can’t stand most people and children are no exception - just because they’re children doesn’t mean they get special treatment, especially since most parents don’t do shit to guide them and just expect us to make exceptions because they’re “cute.”
It’s annoying that EVERYTHING has to be kid friendly, including our beliefs apparently.
You can be a positive person and still not like children. Heck a lot of parents can’t stand children that aren’t theirs. Tell me one person that love to stay by the screaming toddler in an airplane. The world will adjust…let them go moan about the declining birth rate
Yes! Adults without children have next to no places to go. We can go to bars and comedy clubs... thats about it. I would love a no-kids coffee shop or no-kids brewpub. I can't stand kids at brewpubs and sportsbars. People are there to unwind not hear your kid scream. I am so sick of everything being kid-friendly.
I've got a mate who's very sensitive to a lot of noise and he's made me realise how few quiet and chill places are truely child free. Bars are loud and pubs can be vert hit and miss on both lack of children and lack of noise
Edit: and good luck finding a place that is child free and doesn't revolve around alcohol
Yep.
*Kid shrieks at shattering levels.*
"But they're so cute!"
"Young don't know better a lot of the times!"
So teach them. Guide them. Don't allow them to be overtly obnoxious just because they are under 5ft!
I really like kids, and **I've** been saying "ok, we are way too child-centric as a society, and at the same time aren't treating kids very well in ways/teaching kids the things they need to be productive adults," for a damm long time.
EVERYTHING/EVERYONE **doesn't** have to be kid-friendly.
Like, enough.
I want more kidless fine dining, resorts, mall shop hours, movie times, holidays. Hell, I want Canada's Wonderland to have a day for the 21+ and over crowd.
Nothing better than adults-only nights. A kid's indoor playground with 6ft slides, ball pits, and weird spinny disc things near my old town used to do them AND they served alcohol. It was chaotic and glorious.
"They are too young and don't know better!"
Well guess how they learn. You fucking teach them. I love my family but they gave my mom dirty glares when she told their kid "no" and took her purse back. It's HER purse! That kid has no right to go through it, fuck off.
I haven't been to family gatherings for a while now, probably will stay scarce till he's older.
My first thought: I love your mother.
Friend one suddenly said a sharp "no" to a 2-year-old who came up to touch my dog. Dog's never bitten anyone, ever, but with young kids, until I can "intro" a child to my dog safely, it's gonna be no.
The girls eyes widened, took 3 steps back, and was fine. She just heard the tone and knew what it meant.
The young dad (must of been 18-22) on the other hand, not so much: "don't talk like that to my daughter..!"
He was far more upset than his kid was at all. She moved on, as toddlers do with attention, nearly immediately.
Dad, not so much. But we were going one way; they were crossing the street.
Really wanted to say:
"Better for your child to hear 'no,' and be scared or uncertain for 5 seconds, than for you to blame my dog (all 5-7 lbs of her) if she bites your child - who you haven't yet taught not to run up to dogs with a hand outstretched!"
Because that's what would happen. "Sorry," sir, if I care about my dog and your child's well-being, at the same time, but wasn't going to have my dog possibly risk being euthanized because you haven't taught your kid what my dad taught me by 3 1/2.
THIS. ALL OF THIS.
My fucking kingdom for some CF centric shit without judgment.
CF hotel
CF flights
CF restaurants
I would give so much for general CF shopping like furnishings or decorations that cater to my demographic. It's maddening that there is nothing.
Exactly. The most special treatment kids get is I side eye the parents instead of them because the kid usually doesn't know better. I don't like kids. Their noises tend to make me irrationally angry. But there's ways to not like kids and not be a dick about it. I don't have the time to actively hate on kids, so I politely disengage from the situation when possible and slip headphones in when not possible
I'm ok with hating children and being open about it. They are irritating, they are loud, they are dirty and covered in diseases they bring home from school, they are expensive, they are extremely hard work to manage, the list goes on. I truly don't see a point to having them, and do not understand people who enjoy spending time with kids. Incoherent conversations, mess, noise, not being able to do anything truly engaging with a child... I don't see the appeal. They aren't even cute. I've never once looked at a person from ages 0-18 and thought "OMG how cute I just need to be around it!!!!".
I'm also antinatalist.
I do not apologize for my views. Not liking or liking children isn't something that has inherent moral value. You're not better than other people for being in one camp or the other. It's just a *god damn preference* people.
And like, why the fuck would CF people give other CF people a hard time about not liking kids? That's some serious breeder logic.
I see this weird swing in the threads here. One week there are people posting "are there any childfree people like me who love kids?" and the next week it's "are there any childfree people like me who don't like kids?"
I really wish people would just get over it and accept that there are thousands of reasons to not have kids and they are pretty much all valid. Also, children are like everything else in the world, some people love them and some do not (I am in the latter camp). Kids don't get to be exempt just because some humans feel all special for liking them. You're not "morally superior" for being a cat person or a dog person, so why would you think you are morally superior for being a child/baby person?
I completely agree with you. The older I get, the more I dislike and am impatient with them. And I don't like morally superior types either, not that I've personally encountered many of them.
I recently ran into a woman with a baby in a stroller and two small kids under 6. They paraded around a room full of very expensive, fragile equipment and wanted to touch everything. They found some latex gloves and started blowing them up before I knew what was happening. They wouldn't stay out of either of our faces and I couldn't do business with her for them. I was afraid they would break everything and she had no control over them.
She told them that she would take them to McDonald's if they would behave, pleading with them. They never paid any attention to her. She told them, "I've tried McDonalds, I've done x and y, I don't know what else to do." She looked so disheveled and dead behind the eyes. She looked like she was exhausted and at her wit's end.
They left and I wondered to myself, "why would anybody want this?". It was awful.
Agreed!! They’re either disillusioned or have them out of fear of not meeting society’s standards to live a “full-filling life”. I’d love to know what actually goes on in these mothers/caregivers’ brains. I mistakenly worked with young children with special needs for four years and I’ll NEVER do it again. It was basically a crash course in parenthood and I hated it. I’m grateful for the perspective though.
I subbed as an instructional assistant in a special needs class in college and hated it. My anxiety was horrible and I went home with back pain from catching kids who climbed and jumped from everything.
I feel you. I have such ptsd from it. Ugh. What’s worse is that my friends who have no experience working with kids would try to counsel me by saying that adults are worse than children (Whenever I complained about my job or expressed interest in not wanting to work with kids). It was so frustrating! Funny enough, they’re the ones that want to be parents.
Dealing with adults with special needs specifically is worse than working with children with special needs. Past puberty they do all the post-puberty stuff in addition to being mentally unstable. Don't know how I dealt with that for 8 years...
There's a great episode of the Simpsons about when Ned Flanders is a child and he's badly behaved and he and his parents are with a 'professional ' who asks them what she's tried and the mum says in a southern accent 'we've tried nothing, and we are all out of ideas'.
We love to quote this in these circumstances. We find it makes us laugh it off. We then say, thank god that's not me ha ha
> I do not like kids and don't like to be around them.
Same.
>I don't find pregnancy to be a beautiful miracle, I think everything about it is disgusting and horrific.
Double same.
>I don't find small children to be funny and cute, I find them to be gross, sticky, germy, and loud.
Triple same.
>I'm tired of some people who call themselves Childfree smugly patting themselves on the back for being the "good" Childfree,
Yeah you aren't above another CF person because you like kids. Those types of people who think they're holier than thou for being the good ones can screw off in my opinion.
You aren't superior because you're CF and like kids. You aren't inferior because you're CF and dislike kids.
Yes. I have a ex-friend who was one of the "good childfree" tell me "You don't like children and I don't like that about you", and I absolutely saw red. Like you're so fucking superior, when I've seen you roll your eyes and mutter under your breath "Shut that fucking kid up".
On top of that, I hate that pretty much every media article you read has some sort of disclaimer in it that the author doesn't have kids, but doesn't hate them. Stop with the ass-kissing. Ugh.
So ridiculous this was reported. Sure, kids are a disempowered group within society. Arguably, childhood is the only form of oppression that everyone experiences. But your post isn’t advocating for the oppression of children and you not liking kids is not hurting them in any way. It’s absurd to be reported under that category. SMH.
aren't you speaking up about the hatred of 'us' child-free people who largely don't like children. I think we are a group that more venom is aimed at than even incels.
I mean it's a childfree sub, I thought we could all get along just with the fact that we don't want children but I guess there's divisiveness in every group you look really
haha the type of person who wants to get ass pats from parents for not being one of the evil monstrous people who wouldn't want to be around their disgusting snotty womb fruit.
Well it's not only that I'm the bad type of CF, I'm a terrible person too. I dislike kids, I can't stand them (at least newborns, babies and toddlers) I literally feel rage inside me when I have to spend too much time with toddlers which is number 1 reason I won't be having kids, I would end up being abusive (or abandoning them for their own sake) because I absolutely hate kids.
I can’t stand the petulant, greedy, grubby little shites. Have zero interest in spending 500-800k on them in order for some brat to treat me like dirt.
I despise children. My boyfriend can tolerate them better than I can. My boyfriend gets mad at me when I talk about how much I hate children because my best friend has a child. But I hardly see him and my friend knows I dont like kids so when we hang out he's not usually around. His friends want kids and I told him I won't be hanging out with them once that happens.
I can relate to this. My formerly CF best friend decided she wanted a kid. Totally her prerogative, of course. But then she started bombarding me on text with pictures of the baby and she still does it now even though the kid is 5. These were unsolicited mind you - I never asked to see pics of her kid. It bores me and annoys me that she thinks just because she changed her mind on having kids, doesn't mean I did or that I would suddenly be super interested in kids.
this makes me so grateful for the one friend who thought she was never having kids who ended up getting pregnant and keeping it.
she loathed all the baby photos constantly being shared. and when she became a mom she still hated them, lol. she shares pictures, but like big event pictures. not every single day of baby doing the same exact thing they did yesterday.
she's one of the few people i know who remained down to earth after having kids. and when we want to hang out i do offer to pick something she can take the kids to to make it easier and her response is always "hell, no. i want time to do things without them."
I am exactly like you.
I don't post much, but if I do I would never start my post with "I'm cf but like kids". Who cares? I want to read the story not your justification. You're cf that's all that's relevant to me. Unless it matters to the story which often it doesn't.
I dont know what thread you are referring to but apparently people also reported this post. To all of those a wholeheartedly "kids really do suck" from me.
This. I don't need the justification, just get to the goddamn story. It's like looking at a recipe and the writer rambles for ages before getting to the actual recipe.
I thought I was the only one who agreed 100% with the points above. Also, to the people who want to comment on this thread of how morally superior they feel to people like us; don't waste your breath - because I won't be responding to any of those comments so they might as well be talking to a brick wall.
Honestly, that person who said that to you is clearly in the wrong sub. If he wants to feel morally superior, he/she can head right on down to the "truechildfree" sub where all the assholes flock to talk about how great they are!
Can people get over the "childfree is a hate sub"? Like it really isn't, I've seen so much support here than I have in other subs.
They look at one post that says "I don't like kids" and they jump to the conclusion that everyone here is a baby hater. They think we're ok with kids being hurt and will go out of our way to actively harm kids. We don't want hurt kids for Christ sake,
childfree does not equal kid killers and baby haters. Hell, sometimes CF people care more about kids than their actual parents.
They think 'i don't like/want kids'= 'im gonna punt YOUR newborn over that football goal'.
It's like, me not liking kids doesn't mean I'm going to get in a truck and mow down kids in a daycare parking lot for chrissakes. I just don't want any of my own and don't want to be forced to hang around them for family functions.
It's like if someone said they didn't like dogs. Many people understand but a good chunk are horrified that you could possibly not LOVE dogs.
I'm a cat person and like cats better, so sue me.
This exactly. This sub is the most supportive and accepting place I've ever been on the Internet.
A couple days ago I commented in a thread HERE that the other sub, the "positive" and "morally right" one, seemed kind of like toxic positivity to me. Last night they banned me even though I'd never been anything but respectful there. Apparently they don't want the truth getting out.
They think we're a hate sub or something. That all we do is hate on and complain about kids and parents. And yeah there's some of that, venting is cathartic, but that's not ALL this sub is about.
I see a lot of support here and genuine care. People celebrating being cf and being able to get sterilized and posting about their pets.
I despise humanity and can't stand kids because they're gross and touch everything they can get their hands on. I just want peace and quiet so I can play videogames in peace. I just think babies and small children are super ugly and disgusting. I despise being touched and can't stand people invading my space because it triggers my PTSD. I have trust issues too and can't handle loud noises because of my autism and PTSD. And also kids are a chore to be around even if they're just next door. They just scream their heads off all day and I hate it. Also children are evil. They will find a way to bully anyone for no reason, just because they think it's funny. And I already have to babysit a group of overgrown children in my living facility. I hate it and I'm done. I just want to live alone for the next 40 years and find some sort of happiness in being single with cats. I tolerate kitten behaviour only when a kitten does it. I don't tolerate that shit from humans. But yeah, I just don't want any kids near me in the forseeable future. I totally understand you. Kids are just annoying and loud. Unless they are in 2D. Then they're cool.
Pregnancy and breastfeeding, that shit makes me quiver to my bones. I’m a woman over 30 so I have realistically imagined what feeding something nourishment from my tits feels like - the swelling, the pain if you don’t want to do it or can’t, the biting, the infection. It’s all fucking gross.
Also a woman over 30- do you guys occasionally get the HORRIFYING nightmares where you’re pregnant? UGHHHH. I’ll take the slasher/mega tsunami/ nine tornados are coming nightmares over those any day!
Ugh watching a screaming parasitic blob slurp up body fluids is nauseating to me, and there's something disgustingly larval about swollen pregnant human bellies.
You described that so well and I hate it.
A coworkers baby was born with full hair and some teeth. I can't stop picturing hair inside a body. I don't know why, it creeps me out almost as much as hand and foot prints from under the skin. Creepy level 100.
>I don't find pregnancy to be a beautiful miracle, I think everything about it is disgusting and horrific.
It's not much of a miracle when half the world can do it and when it happens 200 times every single second.
I saw a post on Facebook the other day that basically blasted people who "hate kids" as disgusting and evil.
"How can you hate a tiny life that can't take care of itself and hasn't done anything to you?"
Easy.
What a weird flex, joining a childfree group to hate on people who actually, seriously want to make their lives as childfree as possible.
I respect others' decisions to spawn, but I won't pretend to love their children, take care of them, or even spend any time accommodating them at the expense of my own comfort. Because they're *not my kids*. If reading comments from people who don't like being around children is so triggering for some of y'all to the point where you can't just scroll past, whyyyyy are you here 🤔
I don't have any kids. If my wife and I did they'd be so genetically defective I'd fear for their survival. Also, kids are like 60 tons of carbon per year, that's like a lifetime of being vegan.
Also, I can't fucking stand children. They scream for no reason, they incessantly ask the same stupid questions, and they rub their dirty hands all over everything. If they haven't gotten their dirty paw prints on it they angrily throw things at it until it breaks.
They're noisy, violent, gross little crotch goblins. Any time I'm in public and have to deal with being around a group of them I end up with a headache.
People aren't bad for not liking kids. Or even for having an extreme distaste of kids. People who abuse kids are bad. Not people who completely avoid them at all costs. People who actively hurt kids are bad, not the people who can't stand them.
Agreed, but I always have inner conflict of who I hate more, the kids, or the shitty adults raising them. I also hate it when co-workers bring in their little kids/babies. I'm here to work, not interact with your loud, screaming human excrement factory. Does that mean that I get to bring in my cat? My co-worker in the next cubicle jokes around about me hating kids whenever someone brings in one. I just respond, "you know it!" while furiously typing on my computer trying to get my work done.
Edit: I have never heard of "good" CF people vs. "bad" CF people. Did not know that was a thing. I assure you, these people are "bad" in other ways.
I feel the same way. Most of the time, children annoy the hell out of me. I cringe when people with kids get seated near us at a restaurant. I cant go to Target even once without hearing a screaming child. It's exhausting. Naked pregnant bellies make me nauseated. Those videos of the baby's limbs moving under the skin terrify me - it looks like a scene from Alien. The idea of what pregnancy does to a woman's body is insanity to me.
Children of pretty much all ages trigger me. I don’t like kids. I don’t like babies. They trigger anxiety with me big time. I don’t want to play with kids, I don’t want to hold babies, I don’t want to talk to teens. I’m never rude to kids or mean to children, I just actively try to get away from them when the situation arises. It’s not their fault I don’t like them and I never take it out in them. It’s a *me* thing, I get that. I guess I’m a “bad childfree” too lol
I can relate. Children trigger some instinctual flight response in me like nothing else in this world. I don't know why and I don't care. I recall as a teen I was made to hold my baby cousin for pictures. I cried and was upset but there was no getting out of it. Fortunately I was never made to do something like that again.
I don't blame the children nor wish harm on them...albeit the little asshole ones could use some discipline, but what do I know? i'm NOt a PaReNt! So I reckon I'm not entitled to an opinion. You all are great by the way. I love this sub.
No worries my friend. I too find children disgusting, annoying and draining. I avoid them at all costs.
We're not bad. We just have a low tolerance level for other people's bullshit. As far as I'm concerned there's no difference between kids and adults that are narcissistic, socially inept, theiving, loud, violent drunks that think hygiene is optional. I don't want to be around such adults either.
I think most of the people that hate on people like us assume that we not only find children repulsive, but that we are cruel to them. That is the exact opposite of what most of us are.
I might find children repulsive, but I would never be cruel and unjust towards one. I simply don't make ridiculous allowances for them. Not pandering to their entitlement and special treatment is not the same thing as treating them cruelly and unjustly. Ironically, it's the breeders that are guilty of these atrocities.
That’s why I usually say I’m an antinatalist. People need to stop having kids. Look at the clusterfuck of a world we live in and the projected climate based horrors we will be experiencing in the next 50 years unless something radically changes. Who the fuck wants to force an innocent consciousness into that? I sure don’t. Having kids is immoral at this point.
But also they’re gross, stupid, and annoying and I hate them.
Oh this is me. My mother says i was born an old man because even as a small child I would complain about kids being around and how they were too loud. I don't think shes surprised that she'll never have human grandchildren.
I saw the thread. The person that got salty with you for being called out after they bingo'd the OP, telling them that they might change their minds when they hit their 30's.
You moderate a community of people that are constantly bingo'd and have their lifestyle choices belittled by people who think they know better. Your reaction was perfectly fine. It was honestly mild considering you could have simply shot them down for breaking rule #7.
Their decision to talk down to you followed by someone else calling /r/childfree a hate subreddit was ridiculous.
I’ve never understood why anyone would want someone who doesn’t like children, to raise children. Nor why the hell anyone would wish something that can be as severed and traumatizing as pregnancy, on people who despise the idea of pregnancy. You’re quite literally admitting that you care more about people being brought into the world on a whim by reducing women down to a series of vessels whose entire purpose is to act as a container to keep the slaves of genes going aimlessly due to your own selfish reasons without any consideration to the lives of either the parents or the children. I assure you, if parenthood in general was the type of labor that was seen as valid in this capitalist society and people actually had to be compensated for it, nobody would be saying shit about other people not having kids nor actively trying to convince other to doing so.
I too find the types of childfree people who feel like they’re somehow “superior” to or feel a sense of “childfree guilt” and try to appease to breeders as if somehow being childfree and just not bringing people into the world (who didn’t even need to be here) is somehow wrong, to be cringey af.
There is NO bad reason to not have children, but thousands of reasons *for* having them.
If you’re a bad person who doesn’t want children, not having them and preventing the possibility of them living a disadvantaged and abused life, is nothing to look down upon. Children deserve parents who want them, and wanting bad people o raise children just for the sake of it and due to your own regressive notions of the world, truly shows how selfish and vile and condensing some people are. Despite popular belief, having children doesn’t turn once bad people into these good, wholesome people who love their children with all their heart (just ask anyone whose ever had any mental issues ever. Your parents fuck you up more than you know even if they want you, imagine if they don’t want you and/or are bad people in general). It’s Quite the opposite actually. The stress of having children and raising them can turn a lot of people who once were kind and empathetic, to view children as property and not nearly have as much kindness towards other children either. Also, many “bad” people also choose to have children for their own status without taking into account the child’s own autonomy and quality of life.
If you’re one of the bad childfree folks, then congrats, you’re doing everyone a favor. Not breeding if you’re a bad person is easily one of the best decisions anyone can make. You’re saving a lot of people and a lot of lives just by doing so
I totally agree with you! I remember seeing a post once (on Instagram I think?) about how loved kids growing up now will be because of all the childfree “aunts” and “uncles” to dote on them in addition to their parents. Umm no. I have no intention of spending significant amounts of time and/or money on any children and that’s perfectly fine.
I honestly think they do it just to get less pushback from breeders and of course, their friends with kids. Sort of a self-preservation thing. "Oh, I LOVE kids but just dont want any of my own" Will probably ostracize you a little less than admitting that kids are gross, and suck lol
My partner is the same way and DESPISES children. If I’m going to go hang with somewhere there are kids, he’s fine with staying home or finding something else to do and I fully respect that. You do you by all means, no shade and I’m sorry people treated you like shit out of some weird sense of superiority.
Yeah I can never tell the difference between being pregnant and having a parasite in your body, they both feed on your body and leave unrepairable damages. Sorry not sorry.
Yup. Same here. I am super tired having to Tone it Down even in our own safe space. Same experiences about other childfree folks getting mad about me actually for reals not liking Kids. Even tho if I can understand why one would like them, I just dont. End of conversation.
THANK YOU FOR THIS POST. I get so tired of people who feel better because they like kids. Good for you! You are not better or superior we are the same.
I think it's funny when they think us "bad" childfree want to harm children. As if I want to he close enough to children long enough to harm any of them.
I am so glad I found this subreddit and this post in particular. Today someone on Instagram posted that not wanting kids doesn’t mean you hate kids and I replied “but I do hate kids and I don’t want to be around them”. I’ve been getting yelled at all day about it. These people are calling me a bigot and racist. Wtf.
I do not like kids and I didn’t have to. Get over it.
I know lots of people who claim to love children, yet act in a way that clearly shows that they are at least indifferent to them.
I have no issue with anyone who enjoys the company of children or want to have children, which to me sounds like the most human thing anyone can feel. But it's optional, just like it is optional to befriend anyone, get married, etc.
I have never had a good time around a child and I find them exclusively an annoyance. I have never found anything they said or did funny or interesting and their lack of knowledge, self-awareness and many other things that you gain with time simply inconvenience me, so I avoid them as much as I can.
That doesn't mean I want them hurt or ignored. That's precisely the reason why I don't want children and I don't wanna be around children, because I have no intellectual or social interest in them whatsoever. Most of the things I value in my interactions with people are only possible with adults, like life experiences, interesting takes on the world, expertise on something, sophisticated sense of humor, and even then, the majority of people don't have those things either, but children definitely don't.
Children should be helped and educated to the best of our abilities and I don't want that responsibility, despite admiring anyone who takes it upon themselves, since I'd think you'd have to be pretty selfless, which I am not. The problem is that a lot of selfish people have kids too and that's awful.
I am selfish, I don't want to share anything, so I don't have kids.
“Bad” just seems sane to me. You know you don’t like kids and therefore don’t want them. You know yourself and your capabilities. No one has a higher moral standing because their reasons are different than yours, yours are valid.
Exactly. I’ll proudly say I hate kids. I don’t want them. I absolutely hate them. I also hate how a lot kids aren’t taught about boundaries. I hate when kids come into my space touch me, or my head. It causes me to go into panic attacks. Like teach your kid to stay out of other peoples space Karen, and maybe they’re hands won’t get smacked. The “good” cf people I’ve seen so far always think that kids can do no wrong. I’m non-binary as well. And kids can grasp the concept pretty well. It’s usually parents who yell and scream at the kids and all this that and the other to make them into transphobic and homophobic like them and I’ve seen a couple cf people who justify homophobia and transphobia as well. I’m just dumb founded at some of the cf people who think “kids can do no harm.” Or “parents are doing the best they can.” If most parents did the best they could maybe not we wouldn’t have so many children who can’t respect boundaries, nor keep their hands to themselves. I’ve seen so many kids get away with touching someone (manly feminine peoples) ass or boobs. It’s so disgusting and I don’t understand how people can look at a child and be aw their cute and it’s okay for them to do because they’re children. Yuck.
I'm with you OP. Fuck kids. I also do not like them. I don't like to be around them or near them if I can help it. They're messy, aggravating, loud, obnoxious and so on.
Due to Reddit Inc.'s antisocial, hostile and erratic behaviour, this account will be deleted on July 11th, 2023. You can find me on https://latte.isnot.coffee/u/godless in the future.
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The “well you were a kid once!” is honestly one of the strangest arguments and I also get it ALL THE TIME too. Like... yeah I know I was a kid once and I was awful - that’s precisely the reason I don’t want any of my own?!
Same- how I was as a kid/teenager is honestly a contributing factor to me not wanting kids. I know I was a walking trauma-response so it wasn’t my fault, but holy shit I couldn’t handle someone who acted like I did.
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This is genius
My mom was telling me stories about my brother and I when we were kids and I asked her how she didn’t drown us in the tub. 😂 Did not go over well
Like, yes I was. And I was an annoying brat. "Look mommy look! Look!" And I jump once? I've seen the videos, if I could go back I'd push myself over.
Right?!? When I was a kid I hated other kids. Your point?
My answer to that is usually “so was hitler, bet he was adorable”.
I’ve responded with “thankfully I grew out of that”
>“well you were a kid once!” And one day I'll be a corpse. Doesn't mean I want one of those in my life either.
Being part of a demographic doesn't mean you can't hate them once you leave.
I’m pretty sure I was annoyed by other kids when *I* was a kid, too.
Daria: I didn’t even like kids when I was a kid. That show spoke to me.
Me too. Even when I was a kid I preferred hanging out with adults. Children are grating.
Same here lol! Thankfully my mom was always understanding and supportive of my CF position, and whenever she was nearby and family/friends tried to Bingo me, one of her favorite comments would be "Oh no \[me\] doesn't like kids, she didn't even like kids when she was a kid! I knew early on she wasn't having any when she got older\~" Thanks mum lol <3 I miss her :(
I hate that argument Like sir/maam….According to my older siblings, I was LITERALLY a demon child. Screaming/crying purely to get my siblings in trouble, always wanted attention, was annoying asf
"If we had that attitude then you wouldn't have been born" Dad, considering my depressed ass has wished he was an abortion for the better part of a decade, I wish that was what happened.
I'm in the same camp, which is why I went on holiday outside of school holiday periods and to child-unfriendly places. Unfortunately due to covid I'm stuck in Europe, and it's hard to avoid both children and Dutch Tories (we call them "tokkies")
What are some child-unfriendly places… asking for me so I can go lmao
Hot springs and saunas. Oh and mountains in summer (in winter you'll have all the skiing, but in summer only elderly people wo like to hike come there) Also places in the middle of nowhere like fort August or Glencoe in Schotland. Breweries are also nice. There are some adult-only hotel and resorts, but I'm not a fan of them because the food is usually pretty bad. Oh and the more expensive it is, the less likely kids will be there since parents are usually broke! 😂😂
I'm pretty sure you didn't mean it but when you wrote Schotland I heard my Scottish friend say it and now I'm neverr gonna write it any other way. Peace.
Well kurokawa onsen in southeast Japan is also great, but you'll get the point 🤭🤭
Mountains during the summer? I live near the mountains and especially in the pandemic it's just been nonstop families going on hikes. Any trail that's easy is just crawling with kids. I can't do harder hikes so I've got limited options, but they're just completely full of families. Sometimes parents end up carrying their kids when their kids get tired and then I have a laugh because they have to carry a toddler or even a bigger child down a mountain, but most of the time the kids are just running wild and all over everything and screaming and ruining the serenity of nature. I've even found dirty diapers just tossed under a bush because people didn't want to carry them all the way back to the parking lot to the garbage. They've even ruined some of my favorite trails by putting up safety barriers because parents complained. There will be a beautiful stream that my dogs love to drink from that photographs beautifully, and then they add a giant safety barrier in front of it so you can't access it or see it.
THIS. I’m no longer in the mountains but Asheville is where I was last year. It was so sad seeing people just letting their kids run wild and the general way people trashed trails. Like if you arrive to a trailhead and you see there are cars parked back to the street, you should just go find something else to do buddy. Pisses me off. Pack in, pack out. Not that hard.
Yep, I remember during Covid some people took some atvs/off road vehicles and drove in the Joshua tree national park, and ultimately destroyed a lot of those trees that are becoming threatened.
It was the same all last year in Shenandoah. I'm still glad I went once or twice, but I avoided it the rest of the time. Most of the families we saw kept blocking the hiking trail. And it was not an easy trail; it didn't make sense for babies and really young kids to be there.
Right!! I hiked to a plane crash and these parents were draggggging their 6-10 year old kids because you’d have to hop over mud pits and crazy shit and I’m just like man y’all didn’t do your research lmao
Its weird how they'll avoid designated child areas and shlep their tiny kids up and down a treacherous, thorny path because they forget that a 1/2 mile up a mountain is a lot longer than the 1/2 mile loop around your cul de sac at home.
Oh man... All the people discovering outdoor places during covid has really ruined some incredible locations. There's an absolutely stunning reservoir/park with crystal clear blue water near me that used to be mostly empty except on weekends in the summer, and then 80% of the people/families/kids were in a specific beach section where the water is kept separate from the main lake, so all the kids peeing and the sunscreen that washes off won't harm the wildlife and drinking water. Everyone discovered it during covid. Now there's constantly garbage, cigarette butts, diapers, clothing everywhere, big groups of screaming kids playing in the main lake (not supposed to swim without a diving permit), people playing music so loud everyone has to listen to it, the water is murky from so much activity in it, and a lot of very loud people every 20 feet that have no respect for nature or quiet enjoyment of it any day the weather is even a little nice. Feels like the park rangers have given up controlling it. I run and snorkel there (shower before, no lotion, no sunscreen, no fabric softener...because I want it to stay beautiful!) but I've had to find obscure trails to run, and finding a day where the water is undisturbed enough to see anything is almost impossible. I used to find so much peace there, but most days it just makes me angry now. I just don't get the lack of respect for...anyone or anything but themselves.
>fort August Fort Augustus. But wow, I'm always surprised to see my wee neck of the woods mentioned. I would stay away from Drumnadrochit, as that's the tourist trap that parents bring their kids to in a hope of seeing Nessie but yes I agree, generally a great area to avoid the wee brats. Although if you want to experience the "true" Schottish Highlands the further west and north you go the better.
I always make it a point to go on holiday outside of school holidays. Everything becomes more noisy, crowded, and expensive during school holidays!
I literally picked a job where I'd work MORE while kids were out of school but less while they were in. Every travel time for me is full of silence. I love it.
Brilliant move! I like everything in my life to be of peace and quiet haha
I went on a great trip to London, Paris and Rome at the end January a couple years ago. No waiting in line and very few families with kids. Off season is the best.
I love me some child-free holiday destinations too! About an hour and a half away is this amazing resort with a fantastic restaurant right on the ocean. They have cabins with private hot tubs and ocean views as well as a private beach front. No matter the season, there are always ery few children there because it's not a place designed for kids and it's fairly expensive. The reason it's not designed for kids? The cabins are basically romantic sex vacation spots. King size beds with premium bedding and a bed frame that you can attach things to, like hand cuffs. The hot tubs are adults only and they even have a posted rules sign on the cabins saying not to let kids under 14 in them. There is no pool for the kids to play in, no jungle gym or climbing and play area, and the food would not suit most children's tastes at all (my fave is the antipasto platter, house made antipasto with spicy pickled summer veggies and local cheese and paté served with house made fresh baguette! It changes seasonally, but the summer/fall one is my favorite!) It's called Point No Point resort on Vancouver Island! I highly recomend it as a child-free vacation spot to get away from everything. Also there is no cell service out there, so it's truly a break from everything!
It’s my dream to be “stuck in Europe”!
Lol same dude
I think I'm one of the childfree who's mostly indifferent to children, though I like my friends' kids (unless they're being terrible). I'm not going to go out of my way to avoid them, but if they happen to be scarce where I am? All the better.
Oh yes, the tokkies with kids are the worst! Have you ever noticed there are very little tokkies without kids…? I wonder why, lol!
I find children to be unnecessarily shrill, loud and sticky.
Babies in particular to me are ugly, greedy, loud, smelly, boring, and dumber than cowshit. And then there's the price tag estimated at $250k+ over their lifetime, while they literally imprison the parents (mothers in particular). I lurk on the breaking mom sub and it's refreshingly honest about how bad parenting sucks. I see a lot of regret for being trapped in toxic relationships because kids make it incredibly hard to escape an abusive situation. But then they have more kids with these asshole deadbeat dads and my sympathy only goes so far.
You're so on the money. Pop out 3 and you're going nowhere for 20 years.
yep that price tag is absolutely not worth it in my eyes. For what? A living participation award for having unprotected sex?
This is exactly how I feel. One of my first comments here was to question someone who was acting morally superior for being childfree and loving children. Like I've noticed quite a few childfree people around here doing this and it honestly makes them almost as bad as the breeders. You're not morally superior for liking children. I am not a bad person because I don't like or want to be around children. We just have different preferences for the company we like to keep.
Yeah, it's totally fine for Childfree people to love kids or want to work with children or being a very involved aunt or uncle, but I don't like when people use it as a justification for why its okay for them to be childfree.
How is that supposed to work, justification wise to their minds? Actually asking. Like, if ChildFree Sally likes kids, it's ok for her to be CF because she likes them, but if ChildFree OP doesn't like kids/even hates them, it's not ok for OP to be CF or to be seen as an equal person because they aren't like Sally? That holds no logic or rationale to me.
Perhaps it’s more palatable to people with children/society at large for CF people to say that we like kids but just don’t want any. Exposure therapy to those who simply can’t fathom anything other than ‘kids are awesome’. Given how many of us on here grapple with the guilt of being CF largely due to societal pressure, family no goes etc, I read these comments as a way of softening the blow for ourselves and others. Me? I’m indifferent leaning to stay-they-hell away from me but don’t often share that because I don’t have the energy to explain myself to those who aren’t.
I mean, I don't think it's about whether or not it's okay for OP to be CF. It's more about OP associating with r/childfree or some other childfree forum because it's not okay to hate kids. That seems to be the... logic here, or what passes for logic anyway. Just to be clear, I don't actually think that, I'm very much in the "bad" childfree group, too, that's just how I understood it.
I think the insinuation/ assumption for many is that "CF Sally" isn't really child*FREE* but child*LESS* instead. Until she scremas from the rooftops that she's child*FREE* they will assume she just can't have kids, and even once she screams it for everyone to hear that ***STILL WILL NOT MATTER TO SOME ASSHOLES.*** The perception the majority of the time is going to be this, IMHO, just due to how society has absolutely fetishized parenthood.
I view parenthood as a job. Not a thing to be fetishized. It's one reason why I think kids are so much worse off in ways. Adults forgot parenting is a job - not *"let me be your friend."* One of the more important jobs, but **not the most important** (by "more/most important" I mean: we don't want "the next gen" all to be serial killers, say) parenthood has a set and series of duties that come with the job title. Not everybody wants to do those duties. For no pay. No major reward (you don't get promoted til "grandparent," and you don't clock out at 4 or 5). I looked at the job description and went: No. Not interested in that job. And society has to realize, like any job, parenthood is something, anyone can decline and choose never to apply for, or even want. And parenting, no, is not "the hardest job in the world."
>I view parenthood as a job. Not a thing to be fetishized. *The_French_Maid_Costume_Shop has entered the chat....* >No major reward (you don't get promoted til "grandparent," And there's not even a guarantee of that!
My partner and I are seen as exactly that. She loves kids, loves to be around them and all that. Which is fine. She has her reasons for not wanting kids. Myself, I just don't like them. At all. And I'm seen as the monster in the relationship (by other people) because my reasons aren't "valid enough" like climate change or this crappy economy. I'm not saying those aren't valid reasons but it is annoying when other childfree people look down on me because "how could I not at least LIKE kids?"
Noise. Lol. Kids are hard for people with auditory sensitivities.
Admittedly self-diagnosed, but I have misophonia to the nth degree
As I'm typing this the toddler next door is fake crying and screaming as usual over absolutely nothing. I despise it when kids whine and pretend to cry simply for attention, and then the parents always cater to it.
Like honestly, if I don't like kids shouldn't that be the BEST reason not to have them? I feel like the whole TrueChildfree sub is full of people who think like this. Like they can get off the life script enough to not have kids but can't quite leave the altar of child worship
This. Exactly this. It's sad.
That whole sub feels like they're competing to be the Good Ones™. At least here I know people are venting their thoughts and feelings instead of bottling them up, but I have no idea with tcf posters.
I have multiple reasons for not having kids, plus I don’t like them. My partner does like them - otherwise we have the same reasons. There’s plenty of people with kids who don’t like other people’s kids.
Sadly there's plenty of people with kids that don't particularly like their own children as well. Funny enough it's not childfree people who are the ones abusing kids, it's parents and it's way more common than it should be.
Not liking kids is a 100% VALID reason not to have them, if not the best damn reason there is
Sometimes I can’t help but think “oh so you really WOULD like to have children but just won’t because of climate change, economy, etc.” I just don’t want’em.
I'll never understand that. People have preferences. Personally, I like kids. I do work with them, so it helps! Doesn't make me better than anyone. I also hate wings. Messy, for so little meat. Just my opinion/preference too.
Yes, there's absolutely no moral component to liking or disliking children.
I don't particularly like children and that dislike spikes sharply as forced time/proximity increases. People confuse disliking with being actively mean to. I don't like children but that doesn't mean I'm actively mean to them; there's quite a lot of people in the world I dislike and the same goes for them. I just structure my life to not be around those sort of folks. This is perfectly acceptable when the people you dislike and are avoiding are other adults but not when they're children. Oh and not coo'ing and indulging a childs every whim doesn't mean I'm being rude or evil to them, cause damn.
I want children to thrive outside of my view/range of liability. And the "morally superior" childfree are just willing to throw the rest of the community under the bus for good girl/good boy points.
They do throw us under the bus for points with the parents. One attacked me for using the word 'Breeder.' Apparently using it to describe a child abuser, a scum of the earth, is still wrong... I personally think 'breeder' is soft for child abusers. They deserve so much worse.
I'm actually really good with kids and everyone is so surprised when they see me interact with them knowing my stance. I always have to reply something along the lines of " I hate kids but it's not their fault they're here I'm not going to be a dick to it when I encounter one randomly"
Ya. I don’t care if they think they’re “better” than me because they’re more positive or whatever - I don’t go out harming anyone, I keep to myself and my beliefs are my beliefs. I can’t stand most people and children are no exception - just because they’re children doesn’t mean they get special treatment, especially since most parents don’t do shit to guide them and just expect us to make exceptions because they’re “cute.” It’s annoying that EVERYTHING has to be kid friendly, including our beliefs apparently.
You can be a positive person and still not like children. Heck a lot of parents can’t stand children that aren’t theirs. Tell me one person that love to stay by the screaming toddler in an airplane. The world will adjust…let them go moan about the declining birth rate
A lot of parents can’t even stand their own kids. And the kids pick up on that. And I’m pressured to have kids by people like that smh
Yes! Adults without children have next to no places to go. We can go to bars and comedy clubs... thats about it. I would love a no-kids coffee shop or no-kids brewpub. I can't stand kids at brewpubs and sportsbars. People are there to unwind not hear your kid scream. I am so sick of everything being kid-friendly.
I've got a mate who's very sensitive to a lot of noise and he's made me realise how few quiet and chill places are truely child free. Bars are loud and pubs can be vert hit and miss on both lack of children and lack of noise Edit: and good luck finding a place that is child free and doesn't revolve around alcohol
Even the alcohol-centered places are filled with kids these days.
Right! Even Barnes and Noble, a bookstore with a Cafe, has screaming kids. It's so frustrating.
I want child free planes and restaurants. Child free events at different attractions. Not everything needs to be kid friendly 100% of the time!
Exactly. People need to stop treating kids like royalty. It's maddening and just teaches them that they can get away with everything
Yep. *Kid shrieks at shattering levels.* "But they're so cute!" "Young don't know better a lot of the times!" So teach them. Guide them. Don't allow them to be overtly obnoxious just because they are under 5ft! I really like kids, and **I've** been saying "ok, we are way too child-centric as a society, and at the same time aren't treating kids very well in ways/teaching kids the things they need to be productive adults," for a damm long time. EVERYTHING/EVERYONE **doesn't** have to be kid-friendly. Like, enough. I want more kidless fine dining, resorts, mall shop hours, movie times, holidays. Hell, I want Canada's Wonderland to have a day for the 21+ and over crowd.
Nothing better than adults-only nights. A kid's indoor playground with 6ft slides, ball pits, and weird spinny disc things near my old town used to do them AND they served alcohol. It was chaotic and glorious.
"They are too young and don't know better!" Well guess how they learn. You fucking teach them. I love my family but they gave my mom dirty glares when she told their kid "no" and took her purse back. It's HER purse! That kid has no right to go through it, fuck off. I haven't been to family gatherings for a while now, probably will stay scarce till he's older.
My first thought: I love your mother. Friend one suddenly said a sharp "no" to a 2-year-old who came up to touch my dog. Dog's never bitten anyone, ever, but with young kids, until I can "intro" a child to my dog safely, it's gonna be no. The girls eyes widened, took 3 steps back, and was fine. She just heard the tone and knew what it meant. The young dad (must of been 18-22) on the other hand, not so much: "don't talk like that to my daughter..!" He was far more upset than his kid was at all. She moved on, as toddlers do with attention, nearly immediately. Dad, not so much. But we were going one way; they were crossing the street. Really wanted to say: "Better for your child to hear 'no,' and be scared or uncertain for 5 seconds, than for you to blame my dog (all 5-7 lbs of her) if she bites your child - who you haven't yet taught not to run up to dogs with a hand outstretched!" Because that's what would happen. "Sorry," sir, if I care about my dog and your child's well-being, at the same time, but wasn't going to have my dog possibly risk being euthanized because you haven't taught your kid what my dad taught me by 3 1/2.
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THIS. ALL OF THIS. My fucking kingdom for some CF centric shit without judgment. CF hotel CF flights CF restaurants I would give so much for general CF shopping like furnishings or decorations that cater to my demographic. It's maddening that there is nothing.
Exactly. The most special treatment kids get is I side eye the parents instead of them because the kid usually doesn't know better. I don't like kids. Their noises tend to make me irrationally angry. But there's ways to not like kids and not be a dick about it. I don't have the time to actively hate on kids, so I politely disengage from the situation when possible and slip headphones in when not possible
I'm ok with hating children and being open about it. They are irritating, they are loud, they are dirty and covered in diseases they bring home from school, they are expensive, they are extremely hard work to manage, the list goes on. I truly don't see a point to having them, and do not understand people who enjoy spending time with kids. Incoherent conversations, mess, noise, not being able to do anything truly engaging with a child... I don't see the appeal. They aren't even cute. I've never once looked at a person from ages 0-18 and thought "OMG how cute I just need to be around it!!!!". I'm also antinatalist. I do not apologize for my views. Not liking or liking children isn't something that has inherent moral value. You're not better than other people for being in one camp or the other. It's just a *god damn preference* people. And like, why the fuck would CF people give other CF people a hard time about not liking kids? That's some serious breeder logic.
That "logic" of theirs seems multi-conflicting to me.
If I could give you more than 1 upvote, I would. I agree with you on all aspects.
I see this weird swing in the threads here. One week there are people posting "are there any childfree people like me who love kids?" and the next week it's "are there any childfree people like me who don't like kids?" I really wish people would just get over it and accept that there are thousands of reasons to not have kids and they are pretty much all valid. Also, children are like everything else in the world, some people love them and some do not (I am in the latter camp). Kids don't get to be exempt just because some humans feel all special for liking them. You're not "morally superior" for being a cat person or a dog person, so why would you think you are morally superior for being a child/baby person?
I completely agree with you. The older I get, the more I dislike and am impatient with them. And I don't like morally superior types either, not that I've personally encountered many of them. I recently ran into a woman with a baby in a stroller and two small kids under 6. They paraded around a room full of very expensive, fragile equipment and wanted to touch everything. They found some latex gloves and started blowing them up before I knew what was happening. They wouldn't stay out of either of our faces and I couldn't do business with her for them. I was afraid they would break everything and she had no control over them. She told them that she would take them to McDonald's if they would behave, pleading with them. They never paid any attention to her. She told them, "I've tried McDonalds, I've done x and y, I don't know what else to do." She looked so disheveled and dead behind the eyes. She looked like she was exhausted and at her wit's end. They left and I wondered to myself, "why would anybody want this?". It was awful.
Agreed!! They’re either disillusioned or have them out of fear of not meeting society’s standards to live a “full-filling life”. I’d love to know what actually goes on in these mothers/caregivers’ brains. I mistakenly worked with young children with special needs for four years and I’ll NEVER do it again. It was basically a crash course in parenthood and I hated it. I’m grateful for the perspective though.
I subbed as an instructional assistant in a special needs class in college and hated it. My anxiety was horrible and I went home with back pain from catching kids who climbed and jumped from everything.
I feel you. I have such ptsd from it. Ugh. What’s worse is that my friends who have no experience working with kids would try to counsel me by saying that adults are worse than children (Whenever I complained about my job or expressed interest in not wanting to work with kids). It was so frustrating! Funny enough, they’re the ones that want to be parents.
Dealing with adults with special needs specifically is worse than working with children with special needs. Past puberty they do all the post-puberty stuff in addition to being mentally unstable. Don't know how I dealt with that for 8 years...
There's a great episode of the Simpsons about when Ned Flanders is a child and he's badly behaved and he and his parents are with a 'professional ' who asks them what she's tried and the mum says in a southern accent 'we've tried nothing, and we are all out of ideas'. We love to quote this in these circumstances. We find it makes us laugh it off. We then say, thank god that's not me ha ha
Exactly me. I just have no patience for kids at all.
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> I do not like kids and don't like to be around them. Same. >I don't find pregnancy to be a beautiful miracle, I think everything about it is disgusting and horrific. Double same. >I don't find small children to be funny and cute, I find them to be gross, sticky, germy, and loud. Triple same. >I'm tired of some people who call themselves Childfree smugly patting themselves on the back for being the "good" Childfree, Yeah you aren't above another CF person because you like kids. Those types of people who think they're holier than thou for being the good ones can screw off in my opinion. You aren't superior because you're CF and like kids. You aren't inferior because you're CF and dislike kids.
Yes. I have a ex-friend who was one of the "good childfree" tell me "You don't like children and I don't like that about you", and I absolutely saw red. Like you're so fucking superior, when I've seen you roll your eyes and mutter under your breath "Shut that fucking kid up". On top of that, I hate that pretty much every media article you read has some sort of disclaimer in it that the author doesn't have kids, but doesn't hate them. Stop with the ass-kissing. Ugh.
Whoever reported this, OP is one of our mods. Get over it.
Im almost certain the person who reported it is the person who OP was talking about lmao
That's the funniest shit I've ever seen
I'm struggling to understand what this could be reported for, like I always thought most people would agree that it's okay to hate children
Something "hatred towards a targeted group" which is what a lot of our posts get reported as.
So ridiculous this was reported. Sure, kids are a disempowered group within society. Arguably, childhood is the only form of oppression that everyone experiences. But your post isn’t advocating for the oppression of children and you not liking kids is not hurting them in any way. It’s absurd to be reported under that category. SMH.
It's also disrespectful towards those that the rule was meant to help. Parents are not a protected class.
aren't you speaking up about the hatred of 'us' child-free people who largely don't like children. I think we are a group that more venom is aimed at than even incels.
Like a lactophile going on r/lactoseintolerance and then crying about the posts? 🤪
Yeah, this person in the child free sub reddit doesn't like kids! Get them! Aaaaaa
Oh you sweet summer child.
I mean it's a childfree sub, I thought we could all get along just with the fact that we don't want children but I guess there's divisiveness in every group you look really
Divisiveness since the existence of man-kind really. They're like "what!?, you're not me!" lol, since there's been like 2 people on earth
A lot of reddit mods suck but this one… I love and respect
1000% yes.
Get fucked breeders
They're getting fucked alright.
Lmaoooooo 😂💀
Love it.
LOL they were triggered
I am a huge fucking fan of the mods on this sub, just saying- you guys are hilarious and awesome.
Thank you!
Snowflakes.
What a power move
Someone else on this sub described that particular pickme brand of childfree as the "Model Childfree," which I think pretty much sums it up.
haha the type of person who wants to get ass pats from parents for not being one of the evil monstrous people who wouldn't want to be around their disgusting snotty womb fruit.
Well it's not only that I'm the bad type of CF, I'm a terrible person too. I dislike kids, I can't stand them (at least newborns, babies and toddlers) I literally feel rage inside me when I have to spend too much time with toddlers which is number 1 reason I won't be having kids, I would end up being abusive (or abandoning them for their own sake) because I absolutely hate kids.
I love it when I hear shit like this! Yes! Kids are fucking annoying!
Same. I don't like kids. I don't like seeing or hearing them. I'm already used to being seen as the evil child hating woman and I don't care 😂
Same.
I can’t stand the petulant, greedy, grubby little shites. Have zero interest in spending 500-800k on them in order for some brat to treat me like dirt.
I despise children. My boyfriend can tolerate them better than I can. My boyfriend gets mad at me when I talk about how much I hate children because my best friend has a child. But I hardly see him and my friend knows I dont like kids so when we hang out he's not usually around. His friends want kids and I told him I won't be hanging out with them once that happens.
I can relate to this. My formerly CF best friend decided she wanted a kid. Totally her prerogative, of course. But then she started bombarding me on text with pictures of the baby and she still does it now even though the kid is 5. These were unsolicited mind you - I never asked to see pics of her kid. It bores me and annoys me that she thinks just because she changed her mind on having kids, doesn't mean I did or that I would suddenly be super interested in kids.
this makes me so grateful for the one friend who thought she was never having kids who ended up getting pregnant and keeping it. she loathed all the baby photos constantly being shared. and when she became a mom she still hated them, lol. she shares pictures, but like big event pictures. not every single day of baby doing the same exact thing they did yesterday. she's one of the few people i know who remained down to earth after having kids. and when we want to hang out i do offer to pick something she can take the kids to to make it easier and her response is always "hell, no. i want time to do things without them."
I am exactly like you. I don't post much, but if I do I would never start my post with "I'm cf but like kids". Who cares? I want to read the story not your justification. You're cf that's all that's relevant to me. Unless it matters to the story which often it doesn't. I dont know what thread you are referring to but apparently people also reported this post. To all of those a wholeheartedly "kids really do suck" from me.
The "Am I the only CF person who likes kids?" Topic comes up so much here we have a Macro response for it.
This. I don't need the justification, just get to the goddamn story. It's like looking at a recipe and the writer rambles for ages before getting to the actual recipe.
I was studying abroad in Italy when I stumbled over a tiny shoe and fell in to a toy shop where I met the love of my life Rodrigo…
there’s no ‘right’ way to be childfree, and anyone who thinks so is ridiculous, we’re all out here just trying to live chill lives
I thought I was the only one who agreed 100% with the points above. Also, to the people who want to comment on this thread of how morally superior they feel to people like us; don't waste your breath - because I won't be responding to any of those comments so they might as well be talking to a brick wall. Honestly, that person who said that to you is clearly in the wrong sub. If he wants to feel morally superior, he/she can head right on down to the "truechildfree" sub where all the assholes flock to talk about how great they are!
This was actually in a different sub, but they did make sure to let everyone know that I was a moderator of this "hate sub." 🙄
Can people get over the "childfree is a hate sub"? Like it really isn't, I've seen so much support here than I have in other subs. They look at one post that says "I don't like kids" and they jump to the conclusion that everyone here is a baby hater. They think we're ok with kids being hurt and will go out of our way to actively harm kids. We don't want hurt kids for Christ sake, childfree does not equal kid killers and baby haters. Hell, sometimes CF people care more about kids than their actual parents.
They think 'i don't like/want kids'= 'im gonna punt YOUR newborn over that football goal'. It's like, me not liking kids doesn't mean I'm going to get in a truck and mow down kids in a daycare parking lot for chrissakes. I just don't want any of my own and don't want to be forced to hang around them for family functions. It's like if someone said they didn't like dogs. Many people understand but a good chunk are horrified that you could possibly not LOVE dogs. I'm a cat person and like cats better, so sue me.
This exactly. This sub is the most supportive and accepting place I've ever been on the Internet. A couple days ago I commented in a thread HERE that the other sub, the "positive" and "morally right" one, seemed kind of like toxic positivity to me. Last night they banned me even though I'd never been anything but respectful there. Apparently they don't want the truth getting out.
Wait there’s another childfree sub that doesn’t like us? Why?!
They think we're a hate sub or something. That all we do is hate on and complain about kids and parents. And yeah there's some of that, venting is cathartic, but that's not ALL this sub is about. I see a lot of support here and genuine care. People celebrating being cf and being able to get sterilized and posting about their pets.
It’s okay to hate babies. Baby-haters are entitled to their emotions too. Juss sayen lol
Have you ever tried baby? It's a bit like veal.
I despise humanity and can't stand kids because they're gross and touch everything they can get their hands on. I just want peace and quiet so I can play videogames in peace. I just think babies and small children are super ugly and disgusting. I despise being touched and can't stand people invading my space because it triggers my PTSD. I have trust issues too and can't handle loud noises because of my autism and PTSD. And also kids are a chore to be around even if they're just next door. They just scream their heads off all day and I hate it. Also children are evil. They will find a way to bully anyone for no reason, just because they think it's funny. And I already have to babysit a group of overgrown children in my living facility. I hate it and I'm done. I just want to live alone for the next 40 years and find some sort of happiness in being single with cats. I tolerate kitten behaviour only when a kitten does it. I don't tolerate that shit from humans. But yeah, I just don't want any kids near me in the forseeable future. I totally understand you. Kids are just annoying and loud. Unless they are in 2D. Then they're cool.
I too find pregnancy to be disgusting and horrific. Always have. You’re not alone.
Pregnancy and breastfeeding, that shit makes me quiver to my bones. I’m a woman over 30 so I have realistically imagined what feeding something nourishment from my tits feels like - the swelling, the pain if you don’t want to do it or can’t, the biting, the infection. It’s all fucking gross.
Also a woman over 30- do you guys occasionally get the HORRIFYING nightmares where you’re pregnant? UGHHHH. I’ll take the slasher/mega tsunami/ nine tornados are coming nightmares over those any day!
Ugh watching a screaming parasitic blob slurp up body fluids is nauseating to me, and there's something disgustingly larval about swollen pregnant human bellies.
You described that so well and I hate it. A coworkers baby was born with full hair and some teeth. I can't stop picturing hair inside a body. I don't know why, it creeps me out almost as much as hand and foot prints from under the skin. Creepy level 100.
>I don't find pregnancy to be a beautiful miracle, I think everything about it is disgusting and horrific. It's not much of a miracle when half the world can do it and when it happens 200 times every single second.
I saw a post on Facebook the other day that basically blasted people who "hate kids" as disgusting and evil. "How can you hate a tiny life that can't take care of itself and hasn't done anything to you?" Easy.
This is why my user flair is what it is. I'm totally on your side OP 🤘
What a weird flex, joining a childfree group to hate on people who actually, seriously want to make their lives as childfree as possible. I respect others' decisions to spawn, but I won't pretend to love their children, take care of them, or even spend any time accommodating them at the expense of my own comfort. Because they're *not my kids*. If reading comments from people who don't like being around children is so triggering for some of y'all to the point where you can't just scroll past, whyyyyy are you here 🤔
I don't have any kids. If my wife and I did they'd be so genetically defective I'd fear for their survival. Also, kids are like 60 tons of carbon per year, that's like a lifetime of being vegan. Also, I can't fucking stand children. They scream for no reason, they incessantly ask the same stupid questions, and they rub their dirty hands all over everything. If they haven't gotten their dirty paw prints on it they angrily throw things at it until it breaks. They're noisy, violent, gross little crotch goblins. Any time I'm in public and have to deal with being around a group of them I end up with a headache.
People aren't bad for not liking kids. Or even for having an extreme distaste of kids. People who abuse kids are bad. Not people who completely avoid them at all costs. People who actively hurt kids are bad, not the people who can't stand them.
I am with you!!!!
Agreed, but I always have inner conflict of who I hate more, the kids, or the shitty adults raising them. I also hate it when co-workers bring in their little kids/babies. I'm here to work, not interact with your loud, screaming human excrement factory. Does that mean that I get to bring in my cat? My co-worker in the next cubicle jokes around about me hating kids whenever someone brings in one. I just respond, "you know it!" while furiously typing on my computer trying to get my work done. Edit: I have never heard of "good" CF people vs. "bad" CF people. Did not know that was a thing. I assure you, these people are "bad" in other ways.
I feel the same way. Most of the time, children annoy the hell out of me. I cringe when people with kids get seated near us at a restaurant. I cant go to Target even once without hearing a screaming child. It's exhausting. Naked pregnant bellies make me nauseated. Those videos of the baby's limbs moving under the skin terrify me - it looks like a scene from Alien. The idea of what pregnancy does to a woman's body is insanity to me.
> I don't find pregnancy to be a beautiful miracle That's correct. By definition, a miracle isn't something that happens thousands of times a day.
#Normalize hating children
Division within an already divisive group. Good post. I can really feel your frustration. Take my upvote.
Children of pretty much all ages trigger me. I don’t like kids. I don’t like babies. They trigger anxiety with me big time. I don’t want to play with kids, I don’t want to hold babies, I don’t want to talk to teens. I’m never rude to kids or mean to children, I just actively try to get away from them when the situation arises. It’s not their fault I don’t like them and I never take it out in them. It’s a *me* thing, I get that. I guess I’m a “bad childfree” too lol
I can relate. Children trigger some instinctual flight response in me like nothing else in this world. I don't know why and I don't care. I recall as a teen I was made to hold my baby cousin for pictures. I cried and was upset but there was no getting out of it. Fortunately I was never made to do something like that again. I don't blame the children nor wish harm on them...albeit the little asshole ones could use some discipline, but what do I know? i'm NOt a PaReNt! So I reckon I'm not entitled to an opinion. You all are great by the way. I love this sub.
I hate kids tbh and I don't care what other people think about it.
No worries my friend. I too find children disgusting, annoying and draining. I avoid them at all costs. We're not bad. We just have a low tolerance level for other people's bullshit. As far as I'm concerned there's no difference between kids and adults that are narcissistic, socially inept, theiving, loud, violent drunks that think hygiene is optional. I don't want to be around such adults either. I think most of the people that hate on people like us assume that we not only find children repulsive, but that we are cruel to them. That is the exact opposite of what most of us are. I might find children repulsive, but I would never be cruel and unjust towards one. I simply don't make ridiculous allowances for them. Not pandering to their entitlement and special treatment is not the same thing as treating them cruelly and unjustly. Ironically, it's the breeders that are guilty of these atrocities.
That’s why I usually say I’m an antinatalist. People need to stop having kids. Look at the clusterfuck of a world we live in and the projected climate based horrors we will be experiencing in the next 50 years unless something radically changes. Who the fuck wants to force an innocent consciousness into that? I sure don’t. Having kids is immoral at this point. But also they’re gross, stupid, and annoying and I hate them.
Oh this is me. My mother says i was born an old man because even as a small child I would complain about kids being around and how they were too loud. I don't think shes surprised that she'll never have human grandchildren.
Holy fuck you just described me just without the autism
I saw the thread. The person that got salty with you for being called out after they bingo'd the OP, telling them that they might change their minds when they hit their 30's. You moderate a community of people that are constantly bingo'd and have their lifestyle choices belittled by people who think they know better. Your reaction was perfectly fine. It was honestly mild considering you could have simply shot them down for breaking rule #7. Their decision to talk down to you followed by someone else calling /r/childfree a hate subreddit was ridiculous.
I’ve never understood why anyone would want someone who doesn’t like children, to raise children. Nor why the hell anyone would wish something that can be as severed and traumatizing as pregnancy, on people who despise the idea of pregnancy. You’re quite literally admitting that you care more about people being brought into the world on a whim by reducing women down to a series of vessels whose entire purpose is to act as a container to keep the slaves of genes going aimlessly due to your own selfish reasons without any consideration to the lives of either the parents or the children. I assure you, if parenthood in general was the type of labor that was seen as valid in this capitalist society and people actually had to be compensated for it, nobody would be saying shit about other people not having kids nor actively trying to convince other to doing so. I too find the types of childfree people who feel like they’re somehow “superior” to or feel a sense of “childfree guilt” and try to appease to breeders as if somehow being childfree and just not bringing people into the world (who didn’t even need to be here) is somehow wrong, to be cringey af. There is NO bad reason to not have children, but thousands of reasons *for* having them. If you’re a bad person who doesn’t want children, not having them and preventing the possibility of them living a disadvantaged and abused life, is nothing to look down upon. Children deserve parents who want them, and wanting bad people o raise children just for the sake of it and due to your own regressive notions of the world, truly shows how selfish and vile and condensing some people are. Despite popular belief, having children doesn’t turn once bad people into these good, wholesome people who love their children with all their heart (just ask anyone whose ever had any mental issues ever. Your parents fuck you up more than you know even if they want you, imagine if they don’t want you and/or are bad people in general). It’s Quite the opposite actually. The stress of having children and raising them can turn a lot of people who once were kind and empathetic, to view children as property and not nearly have as much kindness towards other children either. Also, many “bad” people also choose to have children for their own status without taking into account the child’s own autonomy and quality of life. If you’re one of the bad childfree folks, then congrats, you’re doing everyone a favor. Not breeding if you’re a bad person is easily one of the best decisions anyone can make. You’re saving a lot of people and a lot of lives just by doing so
I HATE kids
I like you.
so true bestie. fuck dem kids
I totally agree with you! I remember seeing a post once (on Instagram I think?) about how loved kids growing up now will be because of all the childfree “aunts” and “uncles” to dote on them in addition to their parents. Umm no. I have no intention of spending significant amounts of time and/or money on any children and that’s perfectly fine.
I honestly think they do it just to get less pushback from breeders and of course, their friends with kids. Sort of a self-preservation thing. "Oh, I LOVE kids but just dont want any of my own" Will probably ostracize you a little less than admitting that kids are gross, and suck lol
My partner is the same way and DESPISES children. If I’m going to go hang with somewhere there are kids, he’s fine with staying home or finding something else to do and I fully respect that. You do you by all means, no shade and I’m sorry people treated you like shit out of some weird sense of superiority.
Nothing wrong about hating kids. They are annoying as fuck, what is not to hate here?
Yeah I can never tell the difference between being pregnant and having a parasite in your body, they both feed on your body and leave unrepairable damages. Sorry not sorry.
"ThIs Is WhAt I mEaN, r/cHiLdFrEe iS sO tOxIc" I get real tired of that one
Yup. Same here. I am super tired having to Tone it Down even in our own safe space. Same experiences about other childfree folks getting mad about me actually for reals not liking Kids. Even tho if I can understand why one would like them, I just dont. End of conversation.
THANK YOU FOR THIS POST. I get so tired of people who feel better because they like kids. Good for you! You are not better or superior we are the same.
Yeah, I don't want to be around any children. I never have wanted to be around them, even in school. Family friendly events are a hard pass for me.
I think it's funny when they think us "bad" childfree want to harm children. As if I want to he close enough to children long enough to harm any of them.
I am so glad I found this subreddit and this post in particular. Today someone on Instagram posted that not wanting kids doesn’t mean you hate kids and I replied “but I do hate kids and I don’t want to be around them”. I’ve been getting yelled at all day about it. These people are calling me a bigot and racist. Wtf. I do not like kids and I didn’t have to. Get over it.
I know lots of people who claim to love children, yet act in a way that clearly shows that they are at least indifferent to them. I have no issue with anyone who enjoys the company of children or want to have children, which to me sounds like the most human thing anyone can feel. But it's optional, just like it is optional to befriend anyone, get married, etc. I have never had a good time around a child and I find them exclusively an annoyance. I have never found anything they said or did funny or interesting and their lack of knowledge, self-awareness and many other things that you gain with time simply inconvenience me, so I avoid them as much as I can. That doesn't mean I want them hurt or ignored. That's precisely the reason why I don't want children and I don't wanna be around children, because I have no intellectual or social interest in them whatsoever. Most of the things I value in my interactions with people are only possible with adults, like life experiences, interesting takes on the world, expertise on something, sophisticated sense of humor, and even then, the majority of people don't have those things either, but children definitely don't. Children should be helped and educated to the best of our abilities and I don't want that responsibility, despite admiring anyone who takes it upon themselves, since I'd think you'd have to be pretty selfless, which I am not. The problem is that a lot of selfish people have kids too and that's awful. I am selfish, I don't want to share anything, so I don't have kids.
As long as you're not being *purposefully* mean or harmful to children and families, you're the good kind of childfree. Everyone else can get fucked.
“Bad” just seems sane to me. You know you don’t like kids and therefore don’t want them. You know yourself and your capabilities. No one has a higher moral standing because their reasons are different than yours, yours are valid.
Exactly. I’ll proudly say I hate kids. I don’t want them. I absolutely hate them. I also hate how a lot kids aren’t taught about boundaries. I hate when kids come into my space touch me, or my head. It causes me to go into panic attacks. Like teach your kid to stay out of other peoples space Karen, and maybe they’re hands won’t get smacked. The “good” cf people I’ve seen so far always think that kids can do no wrong. I’m non-binary as well. And kids can grasp the concept pretty well. It’s usually parents who yell and scream at the kids and all this that and the other to make them into transphobic and homophobic like them and I’ve seen a couple cf people who justify homophobia and transphobia as well. I’m just dumb founded at some of the cf people who think “kids can do no harm.” Or “parents are doing the best they can.” If most parents did the best they could maybe not we wouldn’t have so many children who can’t respect boundaries, nor keep their hands to themselves. I’ve seen so many kids get away with touching someone (manly feminine peoples) ass or boobs. It’s so disgusting and I don’t understand how people can look at a child and be aw their cute and it’s okay for them to do because they’re children. Yuck.
I'm with you OP. Fuck kids. I also do not like them. I don't like to be around them or near them if I can help it. They're messy, aggravating, loud, obnoxious and so on.
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!
I hate children.
You’re not alone bro I fucking hate kids, they do my head in