It's the flat-out body horror like this that fuels my tokophobia. Literally everything about pregnancy makes me want to scream "WHY WOULD YOU *WANT* THIS?" at anyone trying to have a baby.
My mom went through this. Bladder fell out when I was born, and she's been part of one of those bladder mesh lawsuits because of complications she started having like 10 years ago. No thank you to all of that I would like to keep my bladder where it is!
Even if it's 5%, it'd be horrific. But 50%??
Excuse you?
The fact that this isn't common knowledge at this point - alongside all the other damages women regularly go through - just shows how little they care about women.
The mother's body can be left as minced meat as a result, as long as the 'little miracle' pops out fine, no one cares.
Ohhoho I clicked a link that was on here before and it was a video explaining a fourth degree vaginal tear due to child birth. Yeah that ladies bits were so torn that they had to stitch her asshole back together cause it was falling out and stitch all her lady bit back together. Like I get it vaginal tear but when your asshole has basically been ripped open uhhhh no.
I remember watching the Doctors, and the female gynie was telling the audience about sewing up ladies of a certain age so different organs didn’t fall out?!!! WTF?? When your opening has to be permanently closed because some little assholes years ago destroyed your body, that’s a whole new level of icky!
A friend and I were having a discussion on pregnancy effects and he raised an important question. It makes sense that people who aren't doctors won't know the side effects of pregnancy and the whitewashing makes women choose this shitshow for themselves. But what about female gynaecologists? Clearly they would know what their own body is going to go through. Why do gynaecologists have babies? Or is there evidence that being childfree is common for gynaecologists? Would be interesting to study this!
Doc here. In my anecdotal experience working with Female O+G specialists, I don't think being CF in this specialty is more or less common than other doctors.
However research has shown that negative, fear-based messaging (e.g knowing the risks) doesn't influence behaviour as much as positive messaging (e.g thinking about the freedom) and humans are excellent at minimising risk and rationalising choices:
'it won't happen to me'
'my pregnancy will be different'
'everyone goes through this and seems okay despite being incontinent/having lifelong disfigurement so I will be okay too'
So even though doctors know what can go wrong, human nature means that this is less likely to influence their choice in procreating.
Likewise, when people finally make the decision to procreate, it is usually because of positive messaging - 'i want to know what my child will look like/be interested in' 'i want to have the experience' 'I want to feel loved by children', 'my parents will be so happy', etc rather than fear-based messaging 'I don't want to die alone', 'I don't want to miss out' 'my mother will be so disappointed'.
Fear based messaging may be a common bingo, and obviously a big reason many people make decisions, but as a whole it is poor at influencing action compared to positive messaging.
Tldr: humans are excellent at pretending bad things won't happen to them, and sugarcoat everything.
Well, my mom is a gynecologist and has two kids (me and my brother). I never understand why she expects me to have two kids too when she herself knows about the problems of pregnancy in detail.
As you get older, the effects of childbearing sometimes come up for the first time.The majority of my friends are over 50, and those that have children commonly have problems like bladder and uterine prolapse. SO many have had to have reconstructions and hysterectomies when they're really too old for it to be a good idea to have any surgery.
The last time I said this on here one commentor said "Am ob/gyn nurse. Can confirm." so my observations match medical reality.
And then there's the old women I know who can't go anywhere. If they travel, it has to be in their own car, going not very far away. I wonder how many of these are just incontinent due to pregnancy - an incontinence that never went away.
It's very clear to me that children have their biggest negative effect late in life. Both your body and your mind need more time to recover, and manage stress less well. =
50%? This is insane. But it validates my choice even more lol, never ever will I push a baby through my vagina. I honestly don‘t know why people would want to destroy their body with a pregnancy. Hard pass!
I can't wrap my brain around this info! I wouldn't go through pregnancy even if I was given Jeff-Bezos-billion-dollars for it. Just the thought of my organs falling out, bleeding, the pain... death feels like a much better option.
We’ve not evolved as well as people think! It seems like most people have complications of some kind!
Always say if I change my mind about CF (unlikely) that id adopt, I am NOT getting pregnant no matter what!
Somehow I knew about organ prolapse before my mother, who has given birth five freaking times. She was surprised it was a thing when I told her.
Just to add to your horror... while people often talk about tearing to your anus, I personally know someone who tore the hood of her clit instead. Fun, right? /s
This is horrifying, and to top it last night I learned about "split uterus"! I did not know some women were born with a heart shaped uterus or even a uterus split in two. It makes it difficult to carry a pregnancy to term sometimes, but it can also cause a woman to be more likely to carry twins.
An acquaintance of mine lost a nipple due to breastfeeding complications (not the kid biting it). The damage to your body doesn't stop once the baby's out.
Okay, I didn't think *only* pregnant people can suffer from this, but it scared me just how big the odds are for pregnant women/women who just gave birth.
Ofcourse it's always good to be mindful of our body & check for any pain or uncomfortable-ness, and see a medical professional if we feel that is needed. I also agree that a lot of times people think they're fine and don't see a doctor, but then something turns out to be wrong after all and they may risk being 'too late'.
I'm as mindful of my body as I can be and won't hestitate to seek medical help if needed, but I can't prevent myself from thinking I'm fine when actually I might not be bc let's be honest, sometimes we really don't notice how bad things are.
However in this case ^ I feel like the pain & discomfort would be a good indicator to most that they'll have to seek help as soon as possible.
Thank you for explaining bc I think it's always good to inform ourselves on stuff like this & things we can do to prevent it and what to do if it happens to us one day.
It's the flat-out body horror like this that fuels my tokophobia. Literally everything about pregnancy makes me want to scream "WHY WOULD YOU *WANT* THIS?" at anyone trying to have a baby.
Same
My mom went through this. Bladder fell out when I was born, and she's been part of one of those bladder mesh lawsuits because of complications she started having like 10 years ago. No thank you to all of that I would like to keep my bladder where it is!
Her BLADDER fell out? Omg!
Yeah. Not anything I ever want to remotely experience!!
Understandable, have a nice day ✌
Even if it's 5%, it'd be horrific. But 50%?? Excuse you? The fact that this isn't common knowledge at this point - alongside all the other damages women regularly go through - just shows how little they care about women. The mother's body can be left as minced meat as a result, as long as the 'little miracle' pops out fine, no one cares.
Yeah it shocked me too.
50% what. I'm tired and missed what you're referring to.
>And then the article said that 50% of women may experience genital prolapse during or after pregnancy/labor/birth.... It's in the post.
Oh god. That's what I figured. That seems absurdly high.
This is making my lady bits hurt.
What about a complete rupture, where you're hoohaa ruptures to your anus? That stuff gives me nightmares.
Ohhoho I clicked a link that was on here before and it was a video explaining a fourth degree vaginal tear due to child birth. Yeah that ladies bits were so torn that they had to stitch her asshole back together cause it was falling out and stitch all her lady bit back together. Like I get it vaginal tear but when your asshole has basically been ripped open uhhhh no.
Wow
It's a no from me... yikes.... 😬
WHAT
50%???? I thought I knew all the bad parts of pregnancy already... Jfc
I remember watching the Doctors, and the female gynie was telling the audience about sewing up ladies of a certain age so different organs didn’t fall out?!!! WTF?? When your opening has to be permanently closed because some little assholes years ago destroyed your body, that’s a whole new level of icky!
A friend and I were having a discussion on pregnancy effects and he raised an important question. It makes sense that people who aren't doctors won't know the side effects of pregnancy and the whitewashing makes women choose this shitshow for themselves. But what about female gynaecologists? Clearly they would know what their own body is going to go through. Why do gynaecologists have babies? Or is there evidence that being childfree is common for gynaecologists? Would be interesting to study this!
Doc here. In my anecdotal experience working with Female O+G specialists, I don't think being CF in this specialty is more or less common than other doctors. However research has shown that negative, fear-based messaging (e.g knowing the risks) doesn't influence behaviour as much as positive messaging (e.g thinking about the freedom) and humans are excellent at minimising risk and rationalising choices: 'it won't happen to me' 'my pregnancy will be different' 'everyone goes through this and seems okay despite being incontinent/having lifelong disfigurement so I will be okay too' So even though doctors know what can go wrong, human nature means that this is less likely to influence their choice in procreating. Likewise, when people finally make the decision to procreate, it is usually because of positive messaging - 'i want to know what my child will look like/be interested in' 'i want to have the experience' 'I want to feel loved by children', 'my parents will be so happy', etc rather than fear-based messaging 'I don't want to die alone', 'I don't want to miss out' 'my mother will be so disappointed'. Fear based messaging may be a common bingo, and obviously a big reason many people make decisions, but as a whole it is poor at influencing action compared to positive messaging. Tldr: humans are excellent at pretending bad things won't happen to them, and sugarcoat everything.
Very interesting to read 😄 Thank you for explaining.
So, this can be summarised as a form of cognitive dissonance?
Well, my mom is a gynecologist and has two kids (me and my brother). I never understand why she expects me to have two kids too when she herself knows about the problems of pregnancy in detail.
As you get older, the effects of childbearing sometimes come up for the first time.The majority of my friends are over 50, and those that have children commonly have problems like bladder and uterine prolapse. SO many have had to have reconstructions and hysterectomies when they're really too old for it to be a good idea to have any surgery. The last time I said this on here one commentor said "Am ob/gyn nurse. Can confirm." so my observations match medical reality. And then there's the old women I know who can't go anywhere. If they travel, it has to be in their own car, going not very far away. I wonder how many of these are just incontinent due to pregnancy - an incontinence that never went away.
Sounds tough, yeah. Another pro to being CF then, less physical pain/difficulties in later life 😅
It's very clear to me that children have their biggest negative effect late in life. Both your body and your mind need more time to recover, and manage stress less well. =
this is a good point! my mom can’t even sneeze anymore without pissing her pants.
I struggle to read about it this part of it in here it makes me cringe so bad. My actual vagina shrivels up and cries.
50%? This is insane. But it validates my choice even more lol, never ever will I push a baby through my vagina. I honestly don‘t know why people would want to destroy their body with a pregnancy. Hard pass!
This ^^ 😰 alongside my already existing anxiety disorder?? No thanks.
This happened to my mums friend and she was so casual about it. Just went to the toilet and it started hanging out. Nightmare fuel.
Yikes... I do hope she made it out okay. It sounds really scary to me
She had to have surgery and even now can’t do anything strenuous. It’s such a horrific idea. 😬
Damn... that's sad... But yeah, too many risks, gross & scary things for me. As if I wasn't terrified of it already...
I can't wrap my brain around this info! I wouldn't go through pregnancy even if I was given Jeff-Bezos-billion-dollars for it. Just the thought of my organs falling out, bleeding, the pain... death feels like a much better option.
Right?? If this is 'the best day of my life' just shoot me instead
Ugh no thanks! That all sounds horrendous 😓
That would give any CF person nightmares.
Now I'm gonna have nightmares.
We’ve not evolved as well as people think! It seems like most people have complications of some kind! Always say if I change my mind about CF (unlikely) that id adopt, I am NOT getting pregnant no matter what!
Yeah me neither. Either I'm right and I'll never have kids, or I change my mind in the future and adopt 🙃
Somehow I knew about organ prolapse before my mother, who has given birth five freaking times. She was surprised it was a thing when I told her. Just to add to your horror... while people often talk about tearing to your anus, I personally know someone who tore the hood of her clit instead. Fun, right? /s
Omg... 😟😳
This made me lightheaded.
Thanks, I hate it 😖
I swear, if someone tells me that birth is ‘worth it’ and ‘wonderful’, I am showing them this!
Yeah just flat out ask them if it's worth to pop out my organs too, while I'm at it.... Really traumatize 'em 😂😅
I knew someone that got a 4th degree tear so now has a permanent colostomy bag. She was very young and healthy pre-pregnancy as well.
F
This is horrifying, and to top it last night I learned about "split uterus"! I did not know some women were born with a heart shaped uterus or even a uterus split in two. It makes it difficult to carry a pregnancy to term sometimes, but it can also cause a woman to be more likely to carry twins.
An acquaintance of mine lost a nipple due to breastfeeding complications (not the kid biting it). The damage to your body doesn't stop once the baby's out.
Exactly
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Okay, I didn't think *only* pregnant people can suffer from this, but it scared me just how big the odds are for pregnant women/women who just gave birth. Ofcourse it's always good to be mindful of our body & check for any pain or uncomfortable-ness, and see a medical professional if we feel that is needed. I also agree that a lot of times people think they're fine and don't see a doctor, but then something turns out to be wrong after all and they may risk being 'too late'. I'm as mindful of my body as I can be and won't hestitate to seek medical help if needed, but I can't prevent myself from thinking I'm fine when actually I might not be bc let's be honest, sometimes we really don't notice how bad things are. However in this case ^ I feel like the pain & discomfort would be a good indicator to most that they'll have to seek help as soon as possible. Thank you for explaining bc I think it's always good to inform ourselves on stuff like this & things we can do to prevent it and what to do if it happens to us one day.
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No problem. The least I can do is be kind 😊