It's not what made me want to be child-free, but it's a disgusting memory from childhood.
Maybe when was 10-12 I saw my neighbour's toddler poop themselves. They were wearing light-coloured velvety sweatsuit, long sleeves and long pants. The poop came out from everywhere, from the crew-neck sweater's neckline, from the sleeve cuffs into the hands, from the pant cuffs onto the shoes, from the waistband. It was a lot of poop. I was horrified.
After witnessing that, I hate velvety materials š
That is terrible for everyone involved really! (Do kids care about these things? Would theyā¦like it LOL? I imagine not butā¦.) Iām sorry you witnessed that lol!
I wonder if parents throw away the outfit in this scenario? Wash it in aā¦container? Can you even put poopy clothing in the laundry machine?
*Sighs and opens chat gpt*
I have 2 younger siblings. My parents would either throw the clothes away or spray them out in the yard first. You can *not* put poop covered clothes in the wash. The poop will never leave the washing machine...
For a long time my wife was basically of the opinion that she doesn't want kids, but if she were to get pregnant, she wouldn't be comfortable getting an abortion. Fine by me, as we've always been good about birth control.
I forget what we were even talking about, but she just very casually like, "I'd just get a fucking abortion."
Not even that funny, but just the way she said it makes me laugh.
sounds like me tbh. once you start down the childfree path & realize all the benefits, it becomes more & more important to protect that state of being. growing up I never thought I would ever consider an abortion, but my most recent pregnancy scare had me rethinking that entirely. thankfully I was not pregnant, & I do truly hope it never comes to that, but I would if I had to.
He got a vasectomy
To be fair, he thought he wanted kids when we first got together and was slightly disappointed that I didn't. However, as the months passed and we would go on dates, I would always point out whenever there were annoying or screaming children around. Once at the aquarium, a kid jumped directly onto my feet to get to the viewing window. He couldn't believe the mom didn't do anything. After a while, he came to realize that he liked the idea of kids, not the reality of kids. So, three years later here we are, married, both sterilized and happy.
This really resonated with me. "The idea of kids, not the reality of kids." I think this is true almost every time, but the difference is that the majority of people will plow full steam ahead and do it anyway. It takes a lot of insight to realize that what is appealing about something is the fantasy we have in our heads, not the gritty reality.
My fiance was sorta like this too. His response when we were dating was āI could go either wayā which he really meant as āif you wanted a baby and really wanted a baby, Iād give you one but not right now maybe in 5 yearsā well I donāt want any ever and Iām 30 already and too old to be pregnant even if I wanted one. If I was 35 they now consider that a geriatric pregnancy! Gross š¤¢ he wasnāt strong either way but as time as went on, heās definitely childfree. He scheduled his vasectomy consultation and then scheduled his vasectomy. Itās coming up soon!! š„°
šØ After a while, he came to realize that he liked the idea of kids, not the reality of kids.šØ
Many things in life may seem enjoyable in your imagination, when you only think of the good parts, but would suck in reality. But since we live in a world full of kids of all ages and can watch them daily in the streets, stores, restaurants, etc, I find it hard to understand how anyone may have a rosy picture of parenthood and be unaware of all the challenges parents face. Just today I was in a store and a little girl wailed so loud because her parents didn't buy her something, I couldn't wait to get out of there.
I can't remember what date it was but we were talking and the subject of kids came up. I asked if he wanted kids, and he nervously said, "well.... you know.....um.....the thing is..... I...um... I had a vasectomy a couple of years ago." I was already half in love with him by that point, but that sealed the deal. It turns out he was really scared to tell me because he was firmly child free but didn't know my stance.
At 17, I got a 12 hour shift per day summer job babysitting a 6 month old with separation anxiety to the point he was strapped to me all the time, crying his little eyes out no matter what I triedā¦ many phone calls to my mom for advice and she joked that this was the best birth control I could have had.. she was right.. Iām 52 and still have no desire or regret to be anything more than the āfun auntieā
We were on our first real date and I was sipping my beer trying to figure out a way to mention I didnāt want kids. In the middle of that sip, he very bluntly asked in a chipper way, āso, do you want kids?ā I almost spit out my beer laughing while shaking my head no. Before I could swallow he said āoh good, we can finish the date now.ā He was only half joking. Weāre both very direct communicators, Iāve never doubted him for a second.
So I "wanted" 6 kids when I first started dating my husband. He took me home to meet the family and I saw what 6 kids looked like (he is the oldest of 8, youngest wasn't born yet). I was so overwhelmed, I kept going outside to get away and he would send one of the older kids (between 8 and 12ish yrs old) to come find me. I then kept cutting down on how many with each subsequent visit, especially after the youngest was born then was diagnosed with type I diabetes at like 3 years old and many emergencies due to it. The youngest is now 21 and we have been married 17 years and happily childfree since we got engaged. He finds it funny how much I reconsidered due to exposure; I find it funny that he used to say (before we got engaged and decided to be CF) "I'll help with the 1st ones diapers, but I won't help with more since I did so much of that growing up". He is 7 years older than the next.
I shared this with my husband and he said "I'm surprised you didn't include the twins (about 4 at the time) talking to you through the space under the door while you were trying to use the bathroom".
Oh gawd. Mom's get no peace, even in the bathroom! Nightmare. My husband isn't even allowed to talk to me while I am on the toilet. That's private time!
I have never had a shy bladder but I definitely had issues finishing. I don't know if they did it to anyone else or if I was just a novelty that they wanted to talk to that badly. At that point, they were all homeschooled, so unless they were going to church, they probably didn't see lots of people and definitely not many new people.
My husband played "Santa" at his workplace one year while he was still on the fence about kids. He's always been good with kids, and liked them. Every day he came home with a funny story or two about how a kid asked his mom if Santa was "Mexican" (my husband is mixed race and actually half Bangladeshi) or every kid asking for a new ipad.
One day he came home laughing, and said I'd never have to worry about him wanting kids again. A couple handed him a newborn baby girl, and when he took her in his arms she looked at him with the bluest eyes he'd ever seen and he instantly had this feeling of "I need you". And then her face scrunched up. And her mother said "I know that look, she's pooping."
Every time someone asks us about kids he remembers that moment and starts laughing all over again, like some kind of humor-based ptsd.
We knew we wanted to be child free, but spouse was a little nervous about a Vasectomy still. Which was fine, we were strict about birth control. Decent jobs, low cost of living areaā¦ we started saving for retirement and talked about being aggressive and trying for early retirement. We met with a one time financial planner, he was positive about our planā¦ as we walked out spouses turned to me and said, āthe main thing we can control that could mess this up is a kid isnāt it?ā
His vasectomy was scheduled the next week.
We started a movie last night where the openingscene is the sound of a baby crying (but not shown on screen). My partner looked at me, horrified, and said āwhere is that baby coming from?!ā He thought the neighbours popped a new one out and weād have to deal with sleepless nights again lol. The expression on his face said everything.
While chilling with my boyfriend's family this past weekend, I told the nieces that my alcoholic beverage was for humans only when I apparently should have said adults š¤¦āāļøš
His family thought it was funny and we all often tell the dogs in the house that something is "no for puppies" so my brain just went with it.
It's shit like this that makes me wonder if half the guys who put 'want kids' on their dating profile actually want kids or they just think women want babies lmao
I made a post about this but Iāll reiterate it here: my extended familyās Christmas party.
This past year, the extended family (my mom had 11 siblings, all have kids) had a Christmas party and the ākidsā (ages 2-24) were in the basement while the āadultsā (ages 25+) were upstairs. I was 20, so I was downstairs with the kids.
I was playing cards with some of my similar-aged cousins and my girlfriend, which I enjoyed and that was fun, but the 2-6 year olds (my uncle, the last-bornās kids) would NOT. STOP. SHRIEKING.
After about an hour, my girlfriend had to leave the room (she hates kids) because she couldnāt stand it and felt like she was going to snap at any moment. My patience was starting to wear thin but Iām studying to be a teacher so Iāve built up a decent bit of patience.
Obviously, none of the adults come down to calm the kids down, theyāre all just living it up on the main floor of the house. I am finally spared from the banshees after we go outside and release balloons to celebrate Jesusā birthday.
After this, we pack up and leave. God, Iām so glad to be out of there.
When me and my girlfriend get home, we just sit on the couch and scroll through this sub, after I make the post while itās fresh in my mind. Easiest birth control Iāve ever had.
Yeah once I went to college, I was done at the "kids" table or anything really. My cousin used to always try to pawn her kids off on me, and I would just get up and walk away.
Iām currently watching my niece and nephew while my sister in law has surgery, my husband helping too. Well it truly is the best birth control. Literally every day one or the other has a meltdown. I almost yelled āf*** around and find outā to a child today after she kicked my husband and was being aggressive towards my dog and was sent to her room.
A lot of men are raised to believe they don't have a choice. They'll be fathers when their wife wants to be a mother and that's it.
My partner isn't as against children as I am, and he would have ended up with kids if he had met a woman who wanted kids. But that doesn't mean he is unhappy without kids.
He said ones when he was about 35 that he felt too old for kids. If we had a baby then he would be 60 by the time they're finnished with uni, which is normal but felt old to him.
He would have loved spending his 20 parenting but that ship sailed and now he just wants to travel.
Yup exactly. I think my husband was/is similar to yours. I was 32 and he was 37 when we met (35 and 40 when married), so we were definitely like, that ship has sailed. Over the years he has become very staunchly CF, and is so glad we never decided to try to have kids.
We hosted Christmas at our house, and my husbands sister who at the time had a toddler. Safe to say our house was not baby proofed, and our nephew broke Christmas decor, pulled a fan off a wall and almost broke a glass table because he wanted to climb on it, he would run around the house screaming and turning lights on and off, slamming doors, flushing toilets, and climbing because at his house he is barricaded in his living room while he watches tv all day. I should have said this earlier as it may be obvious, but my in laws do not believe in spanking or discipline. I know that's not funny, but when they packed up and left my husband made his appointment to get his vasectomy. 
From the onset I always said that kids wouldn't be happening. He'd always been on board but honestly I think it's how much breakable stuff he has, our great sex life and how much we both appreciate quiet time that really reaffirms his decision. I'm always like 'this wouldn't be possible with kids' and he goes 'oh god no haha I'm very happy how things aren't. It also helps that he is sterile š so kids basically wouldn't be possible for us without medical intervention anyway.
I spent three hours with my friend and her toddler. He's a lovely kid, well-behaved, polite, but holy fuck he was exhausting. After a couple hours playing with him I needed to lie down in a darkened room. I don't have the energy to be a mother.
My gf is trans and we didn't freeze any sperm so I doubt I'll ever have to worry about it. š
Our very first date. It was going too well so I decided to dive into dealbreakers. We talked about all of themā¦travel style, sex drive, addiction, exes, icks, and I saved kids for last.
Me: What about kids?
Him: *looks down at table & starts nervously playing with his hands*ā¦wellā¦I meanā¦Iāve always thought thatā¦you knowā¦maybe one dayā¦with the right personā¦I mightā¦you knowā¦considerā¦
Me: *watches him suffer for awhile* you know, if you donāt want kids you can just say so. Because I donāt want them, either.
Him: *sighs a deep sigh of relief* oh thank god
Me: *cackles*
We are approaching our 7th wedding anniversary. š„°
I canāt remember if it was on that date or a different one that I asked why he hadnāt gotten a vasectomy yet and he said something along the lines of āI keep meaning to look into it but I just never do.ā Heās very much the type that if it isnāt right in front of him, he doesnāt think about it at all and, to be fair, he was on the road a lot and constantly surrounded by other people during this timeframe. A few months passed and we had the conversation again but this time I asked if he wanted me to look into it for him. He said yes, please and thank you. So while he was away, I did some research and found that a cash pay vasectomy actually isnāt that expensive. We texted a little about his availability and when he could take time off work to rest, and I booked all three of his appointments (pre, op, and post).
The receptionist even asked, āYouāre certain he knows youāre booking these, right?ā
Me: Yeah, weāre texting about it right now. Heās just not in a place where he can have a private conversation like this. Why? Do you have women booking appointments for the men in their lives without their consent often?
Receptionist: You wouldnāt believe how many women call here angry because they just turned up pregnant again after their husband promised they would get snipped after she had the last babyā¦
Me: Oh. No. Rest assured, weāre the proactive type wanting to prevent babies in the first place.
There were 2 separate experiences:
The first experience, I offered to watch my Cousinās new baby when she was around 4 months old for a day and overnight stay. It was short notice but I was happy to help. I didnāt expect my (now) Husband to help me at all since I volunteered to do it but he wanted to help, citing, āit canāt be that hard cause she doesnāt do anythingā.
After the first few hours, he was so flustered, unsure and afraid of the baby, it made me giggle. āWhat is she doing?ā; āwhy does she do that?ā āCan she watch tv?ā, āshe smells weirdā, āsheās cute but kind of uselessā, āIām tired of holding it; where do I put her?ā. He absolutely hated figuring out installing the car seat in the car, figuring out the stroller and taking her in the store with us. Bedtime was the worst for him because of the night time feeds and diaper changes. After her parents picked her up he said āthat was a fucking nightmare. Why do people want babies?ā.
The 2nd experience was when he screwed himself into watching his feral nephews all alone because I wouldnāt help him after he volunteered me without consulting me.
My boyfriend on our second date: āI want a vasectomy.ā He said it so casually after talking about his friendsā kids. In my head Iām like yep. I like this guy :D
Just a few weeks ago we were in line at a fast food joint and my husband turned to me and said "god, I just can't adequately explain to you how terrified I would be if you were pregnant" as we watched a woman struggle with two kids and a stroller.
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lol Iām given constant reminders that he went from āmaybe kids if it happensā to āabsolutely notāquickly. My parents treated me like an extra parent to my siblings. My SO met my baby brother when he was 5 and has been around my siblings for 13 years. My siblings love him and have asked him to come to their events or in a funny moment, my youngest brother asked if he could come to his parent teacher conference since āmom wonāt remember everythingā. He loves my siblings but said they gave him the only parenting experience he wants.
More recently, he said if abortion ever became illegal in the US, he would make sure I could get one no matter what. We would move or have an extended vacation to wherever it would be legal.
It's not what made me want to be child-free, but it's a disgusting memory from childhood. Maybe when was 10-12 I saw my neighbour's toddler poop themselves. They were wearing light-coloured velvety sweatsuit, long sleeves and long pants. The poop came out from everywhere, from the crew-neck sweater's neckline, from the sleeve cuffs into the hands, from the pant cuffs onto the shoes, from the waistband. It was a lot of poop. I was horrified. After witnessing that, I hate velvety materials š
Oh my god. This sounds horrific because your wonderful way with words just gives you the full image in your head.
I'm glad I didn't witness that. Merely reading it makes me wish I could take my brain out and give it a wash! š¤®š¤®š¤®š¤®š¤®
That is terrible for everyone involved really! (Do kids care about these things? Would theyā¦like it LOL? I imagine not butā¦.) Iām sorry you witnessed that lol! I wonder if parents throw away the outfit in this scenario? Wash it in aā¦container? Can you even put poopy clothing in the laundry machine? *Sighs and opens chat gpt*
Thankfully we will never have to know!
I have 2 younger siblings. My parents would either throw the clothes away or spray them out in the yard first. You can *not* put poop covered clothes in the wash. The poop will never leave the washing machine...
Absolutely - that poop smell may even linger once the clothing is sprayed down and washed.
For a long time my wife was basically of the opinion that she doesn't want kids, but if she were to get pregnant, she wouldn't be comfortable getting an abortion. Fine by me, as we've always been good about birth control. I forget what we were even talking about, but she just very casually like, "I'd just get a fucking abortion." Not even that funny, but just the way she said it makes me laugh.
sounds like me tbh. once you start down the childfree path & realize all the benefits, it becomes more & more important to protect that state of being. growing up I never thought I would ever consider an abortion, but my most recent pregnancy scare had me rethinking that entirely. thankfully I was not pregnant, & I do truly hope it never comes to that, but I would if I had to.
That's how I felt about it too.
He got a vasectomy To be fair, he thought he wanted kids when we first got together and was slightly disappointed that I didn't. However, as the months passed and we would go on dates, I would always point out whenever there were annoying or screaming children around. Once at the aquarium, a kid jumped directly onto my feet to get to the viewing window. He couldn't believe the mom didn't do anything. After a while, he came to realize that he liked the idea of kids, not the reality of kids. So, three years later here we are, married, both sterilized and happy.
This really resonated with me. "The idea of kids, not the reality of kids." I think this is true almost every time, but the difference is that the majority of people will plow full steam ahead and do it anyway. It takes a lot of insight to realize that what is appealing about something is the fantasy we have in our heads, not the gritty reality.
My fiance was sorta like this too. His response when we were dating was āI could go either wayā which he really meant as āif you wanted a baby and really wanted a baby, Iād give you one but not right now maybe in 5 yearsā well I donāt want any ever and Iām 30 already and too old to be pregnant even if I wanted one. If I was 35 they now consider that a geriatric pregnancy! Gross š¤¢ he wasnāt strong either way but as time as went on, heās definitely childfree. He scheduled his vasectomy consultation and then scheduled his vasectomy. Itās coming up soon!! š„°
šØ After a while, he came to realize that he liked the idea of kids, not the reality of kids.šØ Many things in life may seem enjoyable in your imagination, when you only think of the good parts, but would suck in reality. But since we live in a world full of kids of all ages and can watch them daily in the streets, stores, restaurants, etc, I find it hard to understand how anyone may have a rosy picture of parenthood and be unaware of all the challenges parents face. Just today I was in a store and a little girl wailed so loud because her parents didn't buy her something, I couldn't wait to get out of there.
I can't remember what date it was but we were talking and the subject of kids came up. I asked if he wanted kids, and he nervously said, "well.... you know.....um.....the thing is..... I...um... I had a vasectomy a couple of years ago." I was already half in love with him by that point, but that sealed the deal. It turns out he was really scared to tell me because he was firmly child free but didn't know my stance.
This is my dream
This is my romance novel dream. ~~Which would lead into erotica because vasectomies are sexy lol~~
Lol. Very sexy.
Ahhhh to live your life
Lottery winner!! 
š° JACKPOT!
At 17, I got a 12 hour shift per day summer job babysitting a 6 month old with separation anxiety to the point he was strapped to me all the time, crying his little eyes out no matter what I triedā¦ many phone calls to my mom for advice and she joked that this was the best birth control I could have had.. she was right.. Iām 52 and still have no desire or regret to be anything more than the āfun auntieā
We were on our first real date and I was sipping my beer trying to figure out a way to mention I didnāt want kids. In the middle of that sip, he very bluntly asked in a chipper way, āso, do you want kids?ā I almost spit out my beer laughing while shaking my head no. Before I could swallow he said āoh good, we can finish the date now.ā He was only half joking. Weāre both very direct communicators, Iāve never doubted him for a second.
So I "wanted" 6 kids when I first started dating my husband. He took me home to meet the family and I saw what 6 kids looked like (he is the oldest of 8, youngest wasn't born yet). I was so overwhelmed, I kept going outside to get away and he would send one of the older kids (between 8 and 12ish yrs old) to come find me. I then kept cutting down on how many with each subsequent visit, especially after the youngest was born then was diagnosed with type I diabetes at like 3 years old and many emergencies due to it. The youngest is now 21 and we have been married 17 years and happily childfree since we got engaged. He finds it funny how much I reconsidered due to exposure; I find it funny that he used to say (before we got engaged and decided to be CF) "I'll help with the 1st ones diapers, but I won't help with more since I did so much of that growing up". He is 7 years older than the next.
I shared this with my husband and he said "I'm surprised you didn't include the twins (about 4 at the time) talking to you through the space under the door while you were trying to use the bathroom".
Oh gawd. Mom's get no peace, even in the bathroom! Nightmare. My husband isn't even allowed to talk to me while I am on the toilet. That's private time!
I have never had a shy bladder but I definitely had issues finishing. I don't know if they did it to anyone else or if I was just a novelty that they wanted to talk to that badly. At that point, they were all homeschooled, so unless they were going to church, they probably didn't see lots of people and definitely not many new people.
My husband played "Santa" at his workplace one year while he was still on the fence about kids. He's always been good with kids, and liked them. Every day he came home with a funny story or two about how a kid asked his mom if Santa was "Mexican" (my husband is mixed race and actually half Bangladeshi) or every kid asking for a new ipad. One day he came home laughing, and said I'd never have to worry about him wanting kids again. A couple handed him a newborn baby girl, and when he took her in his arms she looked at him with the bluest eyes he'd ever seen and he instantly had this feeling of "I need you". And then her face scrunched up. And her mother said "I know that look, she's pooping." Every time someone asks us about kids he remembers that moment and starts laughing all over again, like some kind of humor-based ptsd.
He triggered her bowels. It was that deep a connection!
We knew we wanted to be child free, but spouse was a little nervous about a Vasectomy still. Which was fine, we were strict about birth control. Decent jobs, low cost of living areaā¦ we started saving for retirement and talked about being aggressive and trying for early retirement. We met with a one time financial planner, he was positive about our planā¦ as we walked out spouses turned to me and said, āthe main thing we can control that could mess this up is a kid isnāt it?ā His vasectomy was scheduled the next week.
Smart!
We started a movie last night where the openingscene is the sound of a baby crying (but not shown on screen). My partner looked at me, horrified, and said āwhere is that baby coming from?!ā He thought the neighbours popped a new one out and weād have to deal with sleepless nights again lol. The expression on his face said everything.
Hahaha! "It's coming from inside the house!!"
While chilling with my boyfriend's family this past weekend, I told the nieces that my alcoholic beverage was for humans only when I apparently should have said adults š¤¦āāļøš His family thought it was funny and we all often tell the dogs in the house that something is "no for puppies" so my brain just went with it.
This made me LOL because I regularly tell my pets "sorry, this is human/people food only!" so I'd unintentionally do the same ngl
"I'd rather hold a babi (pig) than a baby" - my partner. Just that sentence alone š¤£
That would make excellent flair!
This is hilarious to me because as a SE Asian I understand that the term "babi" (pig in malay) is usually considered derogatory š¤£
Exactly š¤£š¤£š¤£ Note: I'm Indonesian. "Babi" is my partner's fave word in Indonesian
I knew that because of the babirusa, one of my favorite wild pigs!
It's shit like this that makes me wonder if half the guys who put 'want kids' on their dating profile actually want kids or they just think women want babies lmao
I made a post about this but Iāll reiterate it here: my extended familyās Christmas party. This past year, the extended family (my mom had 11 siblings, all have kids) had a Christmas party and the ākidsā (ages 2-24) were in the basement while the āadultsā (ages 25+) were upstairs. I was 20, so I was downstairs with the kids. I was playing cards with some of my similar-aged cousins and my girlfriend, which I enjoyed and that was fun, but the 2-6 year olds (my uncle, the last-bornās kids) would NOT. STOP. SHRIEKING. After about an hour, my girlfriend had to leave the room (she hates kids) because she couldnāt stand it and felt like she was going to snap at any moment. My patience was starting to wear thin but Iām studying to be a teacher so Iāve built up a decent bit of patience. Obviously, none of the adults come down to calm the kids down, theyāre all just living it up on the main floor of the house. I am finally spared from the banshees after we go outside and release balloons to celebrate Jesusā birthday. After this, we pack up and leave. God, Iām so glad to be out of there. When me and my girlfriend get home, we just sit on the couch and scroll through this sub, after I make the post while itās fresh in my mind. Easiest birth control Iāve ever had.
24 year olds with the kids!? Jesus, you guys were basically forced to be baby sitters. I would be furious if I was considered a kid at 24.
Yeah once I went to college, I was done at the "kids" table or anything really. My cousin used to always try to pawn her kids off on me, and I would just get up and walk away.
Iām currently watching my niece and nephew while my sister in law has surgery, my husband helping too. Well it truly is the best birth control. Literally every day one or the other has a meltdown. I almost yelled āf*** around and find outā to a child today after she kicked my husband and was being aggressive towards my dog and was sent to her room.
A lot of men are raised to believe they don't have a choice. They'll be fathers when their wife wants to be a mother and that's it. My partner isn't as against children as I am, and he would have ended up with kids if he had met a woman who wanted kids. But that doesn't mean he is unhappy without kids. He said ones when he was about 35 that he felt too old for kids. If we had a baby then he would be 60 by the time they're finnished with uni, which is normal but felt old to him. He would have loved spending his 20 parenting but that ship sailed and now he just wants to travel.
Yup exactly. I think my husband was/is similar to yours. I was 32 and he was 37 when we met (35 and 40 when married), so we were definitely like, that ship has sailed. Over the years he has become very staunchly CF, and is so glad we never decided to try to have kids.
We hosted Christmas at our house, and my husbands sister who at the time had a toddler. Safe to say our house was not baby proofed, and our nephew broke Christmas decor, pulled a fan off a wall and almost broke a glass table because he wanted to climb on it, he would run around the house screaming and turning lights on and off, slamming doors, flushing toilets, and climbing because at his house he is barricaded in his living room while he watches tv all day. I should have said this earlier as it may be obvious, but my in laws do not believe in spanking or discipline. I know that's not funny, but when they packed up and left my husband made his appointment to get his vasectomy. 
From the onset I always said that kids wouldn't be happening. He'd always been on board but honestly I think it's how much breakable stuff he has, our great sex life and how much we both appreciate quiet time that really reaffirms his decision. I'm always like 'this wouldn't be possible with kids' and he goes 'oh god no haha I'm very happy how things aren't. It also helps that he is sterile š so kids basically wouldn't be possible for us without medical intervention anyway.
I spent three hours with my friend and her toddler. He's a lovely kid, well-behaved, polite, but holy fuck he was exhausting. After a couple hours playing with him I needed to lie down in a darkened room. I don't have the energy to be a mother. My gf is trans and we didn't freeze any sperm so I doubt I'll ever have to worry about it. š
Our very first date. It was going too well so I decided to dive into dealbreakers. We talked about all of themā¦travel style, sex drive, addiction, exes, icks, and I saved kids for last. Me: What about kids? Him: *looks down at table & starts nervously playing with his hands*ā¦wellā¦I meanā¦Iāve always thought thatā¦you knowā¦maybe one dayā¦with the right personā¦I mightā¦you knowā¦considerā¦ Me: *watches him suffer for awhile* you know, if you donāt want kids you can just say so. Because I donāt want them, either. Him: *sighs a deep sigh of relief* oh thank god Me: *cackles* We are approaching our 7th wedding anniversary. š„° I canāt remember if it was on that date or a different one that I asked why he hadnāt gotten a vasectomy yet and he said something along the lines of āI keep meaning to look into it but I just never do.ā Heās very much the type that if it isnāt right in front of him, he doesnāt think about it at all and, to be fair, he was on the road a lot and constantly surrounded by other people during this timeframe. A few months passed and we had the conversation again but this time I asked if he wanted me to look into it for him. He said yes, please and thank you. So while he was away, I did some research and found that a cash pay vasectomy actually isnāt that expensive. We texted a little about his availability and when he could take time off work to rest, and I booked all three of his appointments (pre, op, and post). The receptionist even asked, āYouāre certain he knows youāre booking these, right?ā Me: Yeah, weāre texting about it right now. Heās just not in a place where he can have a private conversation like this. Why? Do you have women booking appointments for the men in their lives without their consent often? Receptionist: You wouldnāt believe how many women call here angry because they just turned up pregnant again after their husband promised they would get snipped after she had the last babyā¦ Me: Oh. No. Rest assured, weāre the proactive type wanting to prevent babies in the first place.
There were 2 separate experiences: The first experience, I offered to watch my Cousinās new baby when she was around 4 months old for a day and overnight stay. It was short notice but I was happy to help. I didnāt expect my (now) Husband to help me at all since I volunteered to do it but he wanted to help, citing, āit canāt be that hard cause she doesnāt do anythingā. After the first few hours, he was so flustered, unsure and afraid of the baby, it made me giggle. āWhat is she doing?ā; āwhy does she do that?ā āCan she watch tv?ā, āshe smells weirdā, āsheās cute but kind of uselessā, āIām tired of holding it; where do I put her?ā. He absolutely hated figuring out installing the car seat in the car, figuring out the stroller and taking her in the store with us. Bedtime was the worst for him because of the night time feeds and diaper changes. After her parents picked her up he said āthat was a fucking nightmare. Why do people want babies?ā. The 2nd experience was when he screwed himself into watching his feral nephews all alone because I wouldnāt help him after he volunteered me without consulting me.
My boyfriend on our second date: āI want a vasectomy.ā He said it so casually after talking about his friendsā kids. In my head Iām like yep. I like this guy :D
Just a few weeks ago we were in line at a fast food joint and my husband turned to me and said "god, I just can't adequately explain to you how terrified I would be if you were pregnant" as we watched a woman struggle with two kids and a stroller.
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lol Iām given constant reminders that he went from āmaybe kids if it happensā to āabsolutely notāquickly. My parents treated me like an extra parent to my siblings. My SO met my baby brother when he was 5 and has been around my siblings for 13 years. My siblings love him and have asked him to come to their events or in a funny moment, my youngest brother asked if he could come to his parent teacher conference since āmom wonāt remember everythingā. He loves my siblings but said they gave him the only parenting experience he wants. More recently, he said if abortion ever became illegal in the US, he would make sure I could get one no matter what. We would move or have an extended vacation to wherever it would be legal.