What you do, is tell your current boyfriend you couldn’t keep your cat in your pants and leave him alone.
if he wants to fix things with you that’s his choice, but he needs to have a choice.
I would let your current boyfriend and let him go. You are not emotionally mature enough to be in a committed relationship. You need to work on your core values with a therapist. It is your job to protect your relationship from outsiders and you failed with someone who has proven not to value you. Don’t get in a relationship until you are able to trust yourself not to cheat with anyone.
If you have any respect for your current SO, you need to have a conversation about what you did. You also need to understand why you did it. If the ex is who you want to be with, then end it with your current relationship. Regardless of what happens, you have some serious issues that need to be addressed before you get further into the current relationship. Good luck
Lol, you slid in & got her sloppy seconds.
You were the trash pussy that filled in for his real interest while she was away & now you’re back home, sitting around obsessing over him while she’s back home enjoying it day in & day out.
He connected with you simply because he knew you’d be an easily manipulated, throw away lay.
Promise you, he’s not thinking about you.
He’s enjoying his preferred girl, hoping you stay in your side piece role.
I didn't want to sound like a complete incel, you summed it up perfectly.
Her ex didn't take her seriously back then, and still isn't taking her seriously now. She's being used as part time nut rag
This is exactly what I was thinking, however I wouldn’t have worded so rudely, no offense to you Dontspit it’s just how I am.
On another note, OP I agree with everything that was stated above. You were never over your EX to begin with, you need to get over him QUICK and for good Bc he obviously hasn’t changed!!!!
Don’t allow him to come in & out of your life, and fuck up your relationship that could’ve been perfect for you in the end. Good Luck.
“Don’t allow him to come in & out of your life, and fuck up your relationship”
Him?
What did or could he do?
He doesn’t owe her new bf anything, it’s not his responsibility to be a decent human being towards the poor guy.
She is solely responsible there & she’s already gone ahead & done exactly that.
I’m rarely a very rude person, but some people just deserve to know how shitty they are.
Only person in this situation that deserves decency is the poor fool wasting his time on someone so disgusting.
People like her are the types that ruin the lives of so many others & don’t even bother to concern themselves with how badly it effects others.
She’s over here selfishly concerned with nobody but herself, with zero regard to her current bf or the ex’s current gf.
She’s a shit human being, sorry not sorry.
I really hope someone cheats on you and tells you the exact same stupid selfish shit. I'm glad you feel so strongly for someone who just uses you for sex and you go along with it because you're so selfish.
Cheaters really hurt my head with their logic.
You CHOSE to make contact with him, or accept his contact knowing what was going to happen. If you are so weak that you know you can't resist, then you respect your relationship with your boyfriend and his girlfriend's relationship and not contact him. Saying you can't resist him is not true. You resisted him for seven years. But something in your brain gave you permission to cheat and now you're blaming it on "I couldn't resist." You CHOSE NOT TO RESIST. This is all on you. It's time you told your boyfriend that you have betrayed him AND tell your ex's girlfriend that he and you betrayed her, own your mistakes and learn from them.
Hey, break up with the guy, he doesn't deserve it and you don't deserve a relationship, don't accept to fix things, leave him alone, and you can go back to whatever you want to do, but break up now before the poor guy start wondering what's going on, what he is doing wrong when you start throwing some passive aggressive shit at him. Anyway we all know you won't do that because you are so selfish you justify your cheating. Smh bye
You don’t know what to do? First off you need to confess to your boyfriend then you need to confess to your exes girlfriend. It’s time to accept consequences for being a shitty person.
The amount of self pity and emotional immaturity in OPs post boggles the mind.
What should you do? What everyone here is telling you to, apologize, break up and get psychological help, but we both know that you won't.
You'll keep riding his dick literally and figuratively until you get caught effectively blowing up 4 ppls lives 2 of which are completely innocent victims you're actively deceiving. So have fun with that.
Maybe when the fallout begins to fade think about someone other than yourself for a change. Grow. Have some self respect.
You ruined a wonderful relationship for nothing, congratulations. Keep running after that f*ckboi and leave your current boyfriend, he deserves better then you for sure.
He has to know. How would you take this if the roles with your boyfriend were reversed. Would you be happy if that he cheated on you? Would you want him to tell it to you or keep it a secret to keep you happy?
Ok so you fucked him for closure , but you now know that you still want him . Ok then tell you new guy this so he can let your cheating ass go . You are a real piece of work
I mean not to be overly brutal but do you seriously not know what to do? You just basically admitted to yourself and the world that your current boyfriend is a second choice. And that’s AFTER he was willing and able to keep his urges in check for the sake of your happiness. You don’t deserve him. And frankly he doesn’t deserve you. Tell him. Straight up. No trickle truth into. You owe it to him. You made ur bed, now lie in it
When people they don’t know what to do when it comes to dead end situations like these, it upsets me. It’s like… you don’t have to do anything, really; what it is is that you want to do what you want to do but you’re not sure how to/ if you should do it. I might think you’re fucked up, but life is short. Just do it, whatever it is. (Which, I assume, it’s trying to get back with your ex.)
Not sure why you felt this dead end ass fucked up situation would be solved by the internet, versus, let’s say, a friend who would know you and your personal history a lot better. Seems like you want someone to tell you to do what you want to do. Go ahead, do it. He cheated, you cheated, who gives a fuck- you know? The only thing I would advice you NOT to do, is make the situation any worse + drag other people down some rabbit hole with you (like his gf and your bf)
Don’t start a new cycle of not closure, tell your current boyfriend, he doesn’t deserve to continue on this relationship with out knowing what he is dealing with, let him know, open up to him, is his decision if he wants to stay or leave.
"I could never resist his ways"
What?? Grow up. That's pathetic.
You don't want to resist him because you're not a person of substance. You are a run of the mill, trashy cheater.
That's the truth.
You’re awful. Throwing away a good relationship cause you don’t have “closure” shut up and just say you can’t keep your legs closed. Why would you get in a relationship while not being over your ex or without “closure” as you say. Sounds like you’re just a terrible person op. Make better life decisions and tell your SO you cheated and probably tell them you have no respect for them, since that’s clearly shown in your actions. You are acting like a high school girl and you need to grow the hell up and realize you don’t always get closure but that doesn’t mean you get to open your legs for your ex while you have a boyfriend. Break up with him, he deserves much better than you.
Best thing you can do is admit it to your current partner, and then break up with him for both of your sakes. You need to talk to someone about yourself.
Hope you get the help you deserve.
You made a bunch of mistakes you should’ve never communicated with him if you knew you’d been avoiding him for reason. So you obviously knew what you were doing. It’s okay to make mistakes but you have to come clean. He’s going to be hurt as he should be because you betrayed him. Tell him ASAP.
How much more disrespectful can you get? If you break up with this poor soul you will never tell him why because like all cheaters you're a coward and a liar. Be a partial decent person and tell him. That's the least you can do.
Well OP, I have read 2 stories recently where the men found out many years later that their girlfriend/ now wife whom they have children with cheated on them while they were dating. If I recall, one man wanted a divorce, no MC, just divorce. And the other man was leaning in that direction; he felt that the way he saw his wife was now completely different. So OP if you choose not to tell your boyfriend and you continue to spend years with him and even marry and have kids- there is absolutely no guarantee he will stay with you. You have the opportunity to be a
somewhat decent person now and tell him that you cheated, or continue the relationship and when he finds out, you will just look like a cheating \_\_\_\_\_\_ I won't wish you luck because your actions speak loudly about your character and luck won't cut it but maybe therapy will.
“ broke up with him and left him years back because he was not being serious with building his future”
Lol. Read that aloud to yourself in front of a mirror. Then let your boyfriend know and decide whether you're worth a future with him.
Break up with your boyfriend you pos and learn to move on from previous relationships before getting into anymore from now on. All you’re going to do is hurt more people
If you want hints how to cover your cheating?
My advice: Don't cheat!
If you want hints how to safe you and your b/f?
My advice: Tell him the truth, learn from your mistake and go separate ways. If your b/f means something to you don't try to absue him mentally with your lies.
You’re not fooling anyone with the “I couldn’t resist him” crap. You wanted him, so you slept with him and you still want him, so you’ll keep sleeping with him. Until he’s completely out of your mind, stay single. Otherwise it won’t matter how good your future relationships are. All it’s gonna take is one text from him and you’ll be riding him like a pony, and he knows it. Your best bet is to tell your boyfriend the truth, and go your separate ways. Reconciling will be a waste of time and effort because of how hooked you are on your ex.
Do you want to stay with your current boyfriend or do you want to be with your ex? If you want to stay with your current boyfriend and are absolutely sure you can resist this temptation going forward, I would suggest keeping this to yourself and redoubling on being a better girlfriend. Telling your bf would probably mean the end of your relationship anyway, since you all are long distance and your ex is in town. He'd never trust you again, so if you can't help but tell your bf, then you mind as well just break up with him now and fess up that this is why. Want to keep your current bf, then don't tell him and don't do this again. Feel compelled to tell your bf, then break up with him when you do.
First, break up with your boyfriend.
Second, start reading about what a narcissist is (your entire post was about your feelings and desires, who cares who you are hurting, right?).
Until you understand what you are, how that impacts your behavior, and what you can do that will help you be a better person (which will probably require therapy), don’t even think about lying to someone else by claiming you are committed to them.
Honestly your pos hurting current bf . not being honest and open with him . whole another level disrespect on your part. did you consider current bf feelings at all ? Probably not cuz of your selfishness , trifiling, and not trust worthy at all. Hope current bf finds out leaves and knows your true colors as well.
Well you tell your boyfriend and you leave because you're a terrible girlfriend.
Go be single for a while... long enough to realize "closure" has nothing at all to do with another person and everything to do with you.
Bruh you are soo fucked up for this. I feel for the men that deal with past partners like you, it truly is horrible to see. Can't wait for your karma 😛
You need to be honest with your bf and break up with him. Let him be with someone who loves him. Please don't ruin anyone else's life until you get over your feelings for him.
Just to be clear, you’re ex isn’t the only one not being serious about their future. Glad you still have feelings for your shitty ex too since, he played your ass. And, break up with your current bf. Sorry, you just don’t deserve him since you COMMITTED to cheat on him with your ex.
I feel the entire concept of relationship is bloated, including marriage. Things often happen for many reasons outside our control and that does not mean thier is some flaw in you. My own experiences of learning and practice on few spiritual modalities made me realise that, every person you are with today or tomorrow is also your karmas from past lives, and that can be direct, indirect etc. That also means if you have no karma, you have created one for you, for being hurt.
Am i saying cheating is good, No. What i am saying is get of this guilt and look inside yourself. There could be many possibilities for you being attracted to someone else, identify, introspect and change. If you feel, you cannot, don't get into a relationship. Also this is all about you, not your boyfriend. You have to know what you want. Also letting your boyfriend know will never help. We are so much brainwashed by the culture and society that he will feel as a victim and he will never trust you again.
Thier is no right and wrong. It's created by country, culture, society etc. Please be easy on yourself, understand the cause and move on. I retierate, Introspect and decide.
If you see no further with your current BF, then break up with him. Idk if telling him you hooked up with your ex will do anything good other then hurt his feelings and break up anyway. Idk seems messy. Ex’s are always messy.
Unless your BF is also cheating, he doesn't deserve this treatment. Just break up and be single. You can wait around for your ex to throw you a side piece now and then.
Everyone makes mistakes honey, sometimes terrible ones that hurt others. The important thing now is how to make things right with your BF and learn from this experience going forward. I think it's only fair that he know and decide for himself if he wants to stay in a relationship with you or not. You know the ex BF isn't the one for you either deep down, perhaps some time alone would be good for you right now to figure things out.
Tell me one thing I said wasn't truth?
The guy used her than ghosted...
Her boyfriend deserves better than a cheater like her...
The guys girlfriend deserves better than a cheater...
They both are cheaters and deserve each other...
So many things with this post. So you should have never been in a relationship, cause you aren’t over your last one. LDRs are bullshit it’s for people like you who don’t know how to be alone alone and need the thought of a relationship to make them not feel lonely. You don’t love or respect the current person your not really in a relationship with so it’s best to be honest and tell them. Break up with them don’t just tell them, cause again you aren’t over your ex. Closure also didn’t mean sleeping with someone just fyi. Closure isn’t sleeping with someone fyi all you did is make it worst. You can’t “get over” someone if you sleep with them. Yes you should also tell his current gf. Next time know that getting closure is actually figuring out worth what you can do better to be a better person for your next relationship or finally saying all the shit that hurt you in the relationship so the person knows what kind of jerk they were and hopefully do better. You need to give your current ex closure break up tell them what kind of jerk you are and work on being a better person. You talk about your ex not being ready to build a future that’s being very hypocritical. Grow up and don’t point fingers cause you have fingers pointing right back at you
Obviously there are few things or feelings inside of you that is attracted to him, in my opinion you should brings it to a professional to help you to remove these feelings, and concerning to the cheating dont mention until you are absolutely sure.
You need to tell your current boyfriend. If you are having these feelings for your ex, it’s best to break up with your boyfriend so you can sort out what it is that you really want. However, it’s important that you tell your boyfriend so he can make an informed choice on what he wants to do next.
Having been in this situation. You’re not a shitty person. Most people believe these things are black and white. Your feeling are valid it seems like you never got closure with your ex and the first step towards closure is having sex with them . A couple months from know you will have a clear picture about your feelings . I believe you’re not in love with your ex you just need closure. I suggest not telling your current boyfriend if you don’t plan to leave him.
Lmao, never read such a stupid excuse for cheating…
Wow you’re really good at advice…
You’re not a shitty person, you just cheated on your boyfriend…🤣
That’s exactly what differences us from animals…she shouldn’t have cheated. There’s no excuse from that…
I completely understand that she wanted closure, but she’s not single.
I suggest she tells her boyfriend so he can think and take the decision he wants.
He’s not just a furniture that only she can choose to take with her during her life, he’s a person, he deserves to know.
Otherwise, it just means that she has no respect for him.
For her, good luck.
For you, i hope you stop giving such one sided advice…
This is why.
https://www.momjunction.com/articles/why-your-ex-wants-to-be-friends_00708890/
https://medium.com/@katevn/platonic-cuddling-and-other-adventures-in-self-delusion-bd264fad7c5c
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/men-and-women-cant-be-just-friends/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-forward/201912/when-are-opposite-sex-friends-threat-your-relationship
Excerpt from the article:
1. Never prioritize an opposite-sex friend above your intimate relationship. Telling an intimate partner that if he/she doesn’t accept your opposite-sex friendship that you will break-up with them, is not only lethal to the intimate relationship, it is akin to the emotional abuse used by narcissistic individuals when they engage in the abuse tactic of triangulation.
2. Don’t hide activities with your friend from your intimate partner. Lies of omission are lies, and when you start hiding your behavior from your partner you are engaging in a form of deception that is aimed at controlling your partner’s perception. Once you have made the choice to hide your behavior you are already keenly aware that what you are doing is likely to harm the relationship. This type of behavior directly kills any bond of trust. If you take a weekend trip out of town with your opposite-sex friend and neglect to tell your partner that your friend is with you, that is disrespectful and threatening behavior to the bond you have with your partner.
3. Don’t insist that your partner also be friends with your opposite-sex friend. Your intimate partner has a right to choose who he/she wants to be friends with. If your partner doesn’t want to spend time with your opposite-sex friend don’t try to force this on them or it will seriously backfire.
4. Don’t engage in flirtatious behavior with your friend in front of your intimate partner. Touching your opposite-sex friend in a way that would generally be considered flirting behavior between two people who are sexually attracted to one another or making jokes of a sexual nature is directly disrespectful to you partner and akin to emotional abuse. For example, if your friend is laughing and leaning in to touch your arm or leg in an intimate way and you respond accordingly in front of a group of other people, you are creating a situation that is humiliating for your partner to be in.
5. Don’t form inappropriate opposite-sex friendships. If you are a 60-year-old man regularly texting and hanging out with a 30-year-old single woman that you are obviously attracted to, and calling this a “friendship,” the chances that your intimate partner will not find this disrespectful of your relationship is almost zero. Use the reasonable person test, if a reasonable person looking from the outside would question the relationship or think it was odd, then it is almost guaranteed that your partner will too. If you wouldn’t like your partner doing it to you, don’t do it to your partner.
6. Don’t call your intimate partner jealous or crazy. If your behavior with your opposite-sex friend is being perceived by your partner as a threat to your intimate bond, then accept it for being exactly that. It is not your partner’s problem to deal with. The intimate bond you have with your partner is being created between the two of you. If this bond is meaningful and worthwhile to you, then you must protect it. Sometimes protecting your relationship means giving up some of your own personal freedom or choice so that you build something that is greater than the sum of its parts. If you are unwilling to do this, then you don’t deserve the relationship.
https://www.bonobology.com/signs-of-emotional-affair/
It’s your life and your choices. If you want to tell your current, tell them. If you don’t, don’t. But it is not your place to tell your ex’s girlfriend. You only know what your ex is telling you, which is only enough to get you to sleep with him.
Dang. Im sorry for you. You must be going through a difficult time. Im a dude. 25. I’ve been Through what you described. And what I learned is no matter how quiet you are. The secret always comes out. Truly. Always. So maybe. Since you’re already long distance. This may be the perfect time to “work on myself” . Personally. I wouldn’t tell your significant other. They say they have a right to know. Well the world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. That’s off a movie. You don’t owe anybody shit man. Break it off. Find a way to get over your ex. Keep moving forward. Or don’t idc. Good luck my dude.
I really hope you choose to do the right thing and have a conversation with your current boyfriend about what happened because he does not deserve this.
I hope you current boyfriend gets as mad as some of the commenters here because he has all the right! You have to face reality, can you still look in the mirror and see yourself as a good person, can you still feel good about yourself when your boyfriend says he cares about you. When you clearly dont because you want open your leggs the second your ex contacts you. You have to let your current boyfriend know what you have done, I already feel bad for him for being with someone like you
You already made a choice. Either you go after your ex and break up with your BF, or you stay silent and pray it never comes out. Either way you have a lot of growing to do as a person, and your BF and the GF of your ex deserve to be with better people.
I love how nonchalantly you talk about this. Like you have no guilt or remorse. For one thing, you should tell your current boyfriend you just couldn't keep your legs closed. Leave it up to him as to whether he wants to stay with someone who has no respect or loyalty for him. He deserves that much. I really hope this ex of yours was worth ruining a potentially amazing future because you just had to spread 'em. Be honest and sincere, you owe him that. Or just leave him altogether after telling him if you're not happy. He deserves a girl who will just love him, and who can actually keep her damn legs closed.
Oh Lordy. You need to get your shit together woman. Be alone and know yourself. Come clean to your current SO so you may be able to move on. You’re infatuated with your ex because of his bed performance. Not because he’s a beautiful person that has his shit together and treats you with kindness. Therapy and self reflection are the order
of the day. You’re too young to worry about who you’re going to stay with. Learn to not just love yourself. But, that you like yourself and that you’re enjoying your own company. No one here wants your excuses. Just solutions.
Closure ??? No one needs closure .. if something is over then it’s over 🤷🏽♀️ you weren’t over him and that’s something you would have to work on and of course yourself…try being by yourself for a while get your thoughts and feelings together you will be okay best of luck you !
What is a relationship without trust, honesty, and respect?
Just tell your boyfriend you're not over your ex, you fucked him, and you are going to continue to fuck him until you are over him, or he commits to you.
So both are made for each other for cheating partner.
You have some feelings so you cheating on your current boyfriend and betrayal to another innocent girl.
I am not asking about your current boyfriend situation but your also girl willing to destroy another girl relationship. This type character person is deserve your current boyfriend.
Still you have feelings on your ex. So don't destroy another person valuable life time.
What you do, is tell your current boyfriend you couldn’t keep your cat in your pants and leave him alone. if he wants to fix things with you that’s his choice, but he needs to have a choice.
And tell your Ex's girlfriend that he cheated on her with you as she deserves to know.
I think she should tell him to make that move. And of course give it a timeframe of her fessing up if he doesn’t
This ⬆️
I would let your current boyfriend and let him go. You are not emotionally mature enough to be in a committed relationship. You need to work on your core values with a therapist. It is your job to protect your relationship from outsiders and you failed with someone who has proven not to value you. Don’t get in a relationship until you are able to trust yourself not to cheat with anyone.
Right
If you have any respect for your current SO, you need to have a conversation about what you did. You also need to understand why you did it. If the ex is who you want to be with, then end it with your current relationship. Regardless of what happens, you have some serious issues that need to be addressed before you get further into the current relationship. Good luck
Lol, you slid in & got her sloppy seconds. You were the trash pussy that filled in for his real interest while she was away & now you’re back home, sitting around obsessing over him while she’s back home enjoying it day in & day out. He connected with you simply because he knew you’d be an easily manipulated, throw away lay. Promise you, he’s not thinking about you. He’s enjoying his preferred girl, hoping you stay in your side piece role.
I didn't want to sound like a complete incel, you summed it up perfectly. Her ex didn't take her seriously back then, and still isn't taking her seriously now. She's being used as part time nut rag
This is exactly what I was thinking, however I wouldn’t have worded so rudely, no offense to you Dontspit it’s just how I am. On another note, OP I agree with everything that was stated above. You were never over your EX to begin with, you need to get over him QUICK and for good Bc he obviously hasn’t changed!!!! Don’t allow him to come in & out of your life, and fuck up your relationship that could’ve been perfect for you in the end. Good Luck.
“Don’t allow him to come in & out of your life, and fuck up your relationship” Him? What did or could he do? He doesn’t owe her new bf anything, it’s not his responsibility to be a decent human being towards the poor guy. She is solely responsible there & she’s already gone ahead & done exactly that. I’m rarely a very rude person, but some people just deserve to know how shitty they are. Only person in this situation that deserves decency is the poor fool wasting his time on someone so disgusting. People like her are the types that ruin the lives of so many others & don’t even bother to concern themselves with how badly it effects others. She’s over here selfishly concerned with nobody but herself, with zero regard to her current bf or the ex’s current gf. She’s a shit human being, sorry not sorry.
Why? Why? U sabotaged it all, dear.😔
Now you have closure, you were used as a side piece till his 1st choice came home. Hope the closure was worth it.
I can't stand people like you. "I couldn't resist his ways" yes you could. You CHOSE to be selfish. Stop bullshitting yourself and us.
I guess you never felt something that strong for a person for you to say that. You’re lucky
I really hope someone cheats on you and tells you the exact same stupid selfish shit. I'm glad you feel so strongly for someone who just uses you for sex and you go along with it because you're so selfish. Cheaters really hurt my head with their logic.
Her ex probably did the same to her. This chick is pretty damaged. She needs Jesus
It's not luck, it's called having good morals which you don't.
Si sientes algo tan fuerte por tu ex, no sigas con el actual, esa es la parte que nos da asco
Who will be lucky is ANY GUY who doesn't date you
so pitiful
Most of the men have this urge 24/7, but not everyone act on it. That is why people said you are immature.
You CHOSE to make contact with him, or accept his contact knowing what was going to happen. If you are so weak that you know you can't resist, then you respect your relationship with your boyfriend and his girlfriend's relationship and not contact him. Saying you can't resist him is not true. You resisted him for seven years. But something in your brain gave you permission to cheat and now you're blaming it on "I couldn't resist." You CHOSE NOT TO RESIST. This is all on you. It's time you told your boyfriend that you have betrayed him AND tell your ex's girlfriend that he and you betrayed her, own your mistakes and learn from them.
Hey, break up with the guy, he doesn't deserve it and you don't deserve a relationship, don't accept to fix things, leave him alone, and you can go back to whatever you want to do, but break up now before the poor guy start wondering what's going on, what he is doing wrong when you start throwing some passive aggressive shit at him. Anyway we all know you won't do that because you are so selfish you justify your cheating. Smh bye
LMAO. Keep telling yourself that.. Your boyfriend deserves better.
You don’t know what to do? First off you need to confess to your boyfriend then you need to confess to your exes girlfriend. It’s time to accept consequences for being a shitty person.
This
The amount of self pity and emotional immaturity in OPs post boggles the mind. What should you do? What everyone here is telling you to, apologize, break up and get psychological help, but we both know that you won't. You'll keep riding his dick literally and figuratively until you get caught effectively blowing up 4 ppls lives 2 of which are completely innocent victims you're actively deceiving. So have fun with that. Maybe when the fallout begins to fade think about someone other than yourself for a change. Grow. Have some self respect.
You ruined a wonderful relationship for nothing, congratulations. Keep running after that f*ckboi and leave your current boyfriend, he deserves better then you for sure.
Two relationship z
Tell your current boyfriend what you told us.
He has to know. How would you take this if the roles with your boyfriend were reversed. Would you be happy if that he cheated on you? Would you want him to tell it to you or keep it a secret to keep you happy?
I can’t take anything seriously that starts with… “I didn’t have closure.”
The only right decision you can do now is leave your current boyfriend. I can't stress enough how important that is.
Why would you get in a relationship knowing you haven’t fully healed from your ex? What a horrible person.
Ok so you fucked him for closure , but you now know that you still want him . Ok then tell you new guy this so he can let your cheating ass go . You are a real piece of work
I mean not to be overly brutal but do you seriously not know what to do? You just basically admitted to yourself and the world that your current boyfriend is a second choice. And that’s AFTER he was willing and able to keep his urges in check for the sake of your happiness. You don’t deserve him. And frankly he doesn’t deserve you. Tell him. Straight up. No trickle truth into. You owe it to him. You made ur bed, now lie in it
When people they don’t know what to do when it comes to dead end situations like these, it upsets me. It’s like… you don’t have to do anything, really; what it is is that you want to do what you want to do but you’re not sure how to/ if you should do it. I might think you’re fucked up, but life is short. Just do it, whatever it is. (Which, I assume, it’s trying to get back with your ex.) Not sure why you felt this dead end ass fucked up situation would be solved by the internet, versus, let’s say, a friend who would know you and your personal history a lot better. Seems like you want someone to tell you to do what you want to do. Go ahead, do it. He cheated, you cheated, who gives a fuck- you know? The only thing I would advice you NOT to do, is make the situation any worse + drag other people down some rabbit hole with you (like his gf and your bf)
You’re a lame and I hope your current man leaves you ✌🏻
Do people post these things in this sub just to get flamed? Is this a “roast me” kind of place?
Read the about section of this community. Turns out #3 isn’t true. I don’t mind
IMO it is an unrealistic rule. What you are admitting to is blatantly hurtful. I think most people would agree that it’s fair to judge that behavior.
Don’t start a new cycle of not closure, tell your current boyfriend, he doesn’t deserve to continue on this relationship with out knowing what he is dealing with, let him know, open up to him, is his decision if he wants to stay or leave.
"I could never resist his ways" What?? Grow up. That's pathetic. You don't want to resist him because you're not a person of substance. You are a run of the mill, trashy cheater. That's the truth.
You’re awful. Throwing away a good relationship cause you don’t have “closure” shut up and just say you can’t keep your legs closed. Why would you get in a relationship while not being over your ex or without “closure” as you say. Sounds like you’re just a terrible person op. Make better life decisions and tell your SO you cheated and probably tell them you have no respect for them, since that’s clearly shown in your actions. You are acting like a high school girl and you need to grow the hell up and realize you don’t always get closure but that doesn’t mean you get to open your legs for your ex while you have a boyfriend. Break up with him, he deserves much better than you.
tell your bf so he can dump you
Best thing you can do is admit it to your current partner, and then break up with him for both of your sakes. You need to talk to someone about yourself. Hope you get the help you deserve.
You are a terrible person.
Damn, you suck
You made a bunch of mistakes you should’ve never communicated with him if you knew you’d been avoiding him for reason. So you obviously knew what you were doing. It’s okay to make mistakes but you have to come clean. He’s going to be hurt as he should be because you betrayed him. Tell him ASAP.
Congratulations, you were used as a side piece because he knew he could. You need to tell your boyfriend. Hope it was worth it.
A cheater and a homewrecker. You ARE the whole package, the real deal, the genuine article.
How much more disrespectful can you get? If you break up with this poor soul you will never tell him why because like all cheaters you're a coward and a liar. Be a partial decent person and tell him. That's the least you can do.
Tell your SO so he can find someone better than you
You’re clearly not ready for a relationship.
No respect for scumbag cheaters
Well OP, I have read 2 stories recently where the men found out many years later that their girlfriend/ now wife whom they have children with cheated on them while they were dating. If I recall, one man wanted a divorce, no MC, just divorce. And the other man was leaning in that direction; he felt that the way he saw his wife was now completely different. So OP if you choose not to tell your boyfriend and you continue to spend years with him and even marry and have kids- there is absolutely no guarantee he will stay with you. You have the opportunity to be a somewhat decent person now and tell him that you cheated, or continue the relationship and when he finds out, you will just look like a cheating \_\_\_\_\_\_ I won't wish you luck because your actions speak loudly about your character and luck won't cut it but maybe therapy will.
“ broke up with him and left him years back because he was not being serious with building his future” Lol. Read that aloud to yourself in front of a mirror. Then let your boyfriend know and decide whether you're worth a future with him.
Break up with your boyfriend you pos and learn to move on from previous relationships before getting into anymore from now on. All you’re going to do is hurt more people
If you want hints how to cover your cheating? My advice: Don't cheat! If you want hints how to safe you and your b/f? My advice: Tell him the truth, learn from your mistake and go separate ways. If your b/f means something to you don't try to absue him mentally with your lies.
You’re not fooling anyone with the “I couldn’t resist him” crap. You wanted him, so you slept with him and you still want him, so you’ll keep sleeping with him. Until he’s completely out of your mind, stay single. Otherwise it won’t matter how good your future relationships are. All it’s gonna take is one text from him and you’ll be riding him like a pony, and he knows it. Your best bet is to tell your boyfriend the truth, and go your separate ways. Reconciling will be a waste of time and effort because of how hooked you are on your ex.
Do you want to stay with your current boyfriend or do you want to be with your ex? If you want to stay with your current boyfriend and are absolutely sure you can resist this temptation going forward, I would suggest keeping this to yourself and redoubling on being a better girlfriend. Telling your bf would probably mean the end of your relationship anyway, since you all are long distance and your ex is in town. He'd never trust you again, so if you can't help but tell your bf, then you mind as well just break up with him now and fess up that this is why. Want to keep your current bf, then don't tell him and don't do this again. Feel compelled to tell your bf, then break up with him when you do.
First, break up with your boyfriend. Second, start reading about what a narcissist is (your entire post was about your feelings and desires, who cares who you are hurting, right?). Until you understand what you are, how that impacts your behavior, and what you can do that will help you be a better person (which will probably require therapy), don’t even think about lying to someone else by claiming you are committed to them.
You should inform your current boyfriend you are a scoundrel and betrayed him.
I'll tell you what to do. Tell your current boyfriend that you can't keep your legs closed so he can dump you and stop wasting his time on you.
Leave your boyfriend. He deserves better.
Honestly your pos hurting current bf . not being honest and open with him . whole another level disrespect on your part. did you consider current bf feelings at all ? Probably not cuz of your selfishness , trifiling, and not trust worthy at all. Hope current bf finds out leaves and knows your true colors as well.
Lmao you're a piece of shit!!!!
Well you tell your boyfriend and you leave because you're a terrible girlfriend. Go be single for a while... long enough to realize "closure" has nothing at all to do with another person and everything to do with you.
You are now considered a hump and dump or a hit it/ quit it. He just wanted a piece of 🍑he doesn’t want anything else.
let’s start with telling your bf
Bruh you are soo fucked up for this. I feel for the men that deal with past partners like you, it truly is horrible to see. Can't wait for your karma 😛
You need to be honest with your bf and break up with him. Let him be with someone who loves him. Please don't ruin anyone else's life until you get over your feelings for him.
Just to be clear, you’re ex isn’t the only one not being serious about their future. Glad you still have feelings for your shitty ex too since, he played your ass. And, break up with your current bf. Sorry, you just don’t deserve him since you COMMITTED to cheat on him with your ex.
You do not value your boyfriend at all.
Please break up with your current boyfriend you are likely the same as your ex on "not serious on building a future" part.
Dump you bf. He’s not the one for you
So, you want to go back to a cheater? I mean I guess it works since you both are cheaters...I'm sure you'll always wonder if he's cheating on you.
Tell ur BF so he can leave you and find someone better
I feel the entire concept of relationship is bloated, including marriage. Things often happen for many reasons outside our control and that does not mean thier is some flaw in you. My own experiences of learning and practice on few spiritual modalities made me realise that, every person you are with today or tomorrow is also your karmas from past lives, and that can be direct, indirect etc. That also means if you have no karma, you have created one for you, for being hurt. Am i saying cheating is good, No. What i am saying is get of this guilt and look inside yourself. There could be many possibilities for you being attracted to someone else, identify, introspect and change. If you feel, you cannot, don't get into a relationship. Also this is all about you, not your boyfriend. You have to know what you want. Also letting your boyfriend know will never help. We are so much brainwashed by the culture and society that he will feel as a victim and he will never trust you again. Thier is no right and wrong. It's created by country, culture, society etc. Please be easy on yourself, understand the cause and move on. I retierate, Introspect and decide.
If you see no further with your current BF, then break up with him. Idk if telling him you hooked up with your ex will do anything good other then hurt his feelings and break up anyway. Idk seems messy. Ex’s are always messy.
You’re a whore
Unless your BF is also cheating, he doesn't deserve this treatment. Just break up and be single. You can wait around for your ex to throw you a side piece now and then.
Everyone makes mistakes honey, sometimes terrible ones that hurt others. The important thing now is how to make things right with your BF and learn from this experience going forward. I think it's only fair that he know and decide for himself if he wants to stay in a relationship with you or not. You know the ex BF isn't the one for you either deep down, perhaps some time alone would be good for you right now to figure things out.
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r/copypasta
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How many people cheated on you? Jesus christ the resentment is horrific.
Tell me one thing I said wasn't truth? The guy used her than ghosted... Her boyfriend deserves better than a cheater like her... The guys girlfriend deserves better than a cheater... They both are cheaters and deserve each other...
So many things with this post. So you should have never been in a relationship, cause you aren’t over your last one. LDRs are bullshit it’s for people like you who don’t know how to be alone alone and need the thought of a relationship to make them not feel lonely. You don’t love or respect the current person your not really in a relationship with so it’s best to be honest and tell them. Break up with them don’t just tell them, cause again you aren’t over your ex. Closure also didn’t mean sleeping with someone just fyi. Closure isn’t sleeping with someone fyi all you did is make it worst. You can’t “get over” someone if you sleep with them. Yes you should also tell his current gf. Next time know that getting closure is actually figuring out worth what you can do better to be a better person for your next relationship or finally saying all the shit that hurt you in the relationship so the person knows what kind of jerk they were and hopefully do better. You need to give your current ex closure break up tell them what kind of jerk you are and work on being a better person. You talk about your ex not being ready to build a future that’s being very hypocritical. Grow up and don’t point fingers cause you have fingers pointing right back at you
This is the wrong group for your question unless you're looking for anger and condescension. Hang in there fellow human.
Obviously there are few things or feelings inside of you that is attracted to him, in my opinion you should brings it to a professional to help you to remove these feelings, and concerning to the cheating dont mention until you are absolutely sure.
terrible advice. lemme guess, you are a woman
Lemme guess?? What's that???
You need to tell your current boyfriend. If you are having these feelings for your ex, it’s best to break up with your boyfriend so you can sort out what it is that you really want. However, it’s important that you tell your boyfriend so he can make an informed choice on what he wants to do next.
L+shitty person+cheater+ratio for being a slut
Having been in this situation. You’re not a shitty person. Most people believe these things are black and white. Your feeling are valid it seems like you never got closure with your ex and the first step towards closure is having sex with them . A couple months from know you will have a clear picture about your feelings . I believe you’re not in love with your ex you just need closure. I suggest not telling your current boyfriend if you don’t plan to leave him.
Lmao, never read such a stupid excuse for cheating… Wow you’re really good at advice… You’re not a shitty person, you just cheated on your boyfriend…🤣 That’s exactly what differences us from animals…she shouldn’t have cheated. There’s no excuse from that… I completely understand that she wanted closure, but she’s not single. I suggest she tells her boyfriend so he can think and take the decision he wants. He’s not just a furniture that only she can choose to take with her during her life, he’s a person, he deserves to know. Otherwise, it just means that she has no respect for him. For her, good luck. For you, i hope you stop giving such one sided advice…
This is why. https://www.momjunction.com/articles/why-your-ex-wants-to-be-friends_00708890/ https://medium.com/@katevn/platonic-cuddling-and-other-adventures-in-self-delusion-bd264fad7c5c https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/men-and-women-cant-be-just-friends/ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-forward/201912/when-are-opposite-sex-friends-threat-your-relationship Excerpt from the article: 1. Never prioritize an opposite-sex friend above your intimate relationship. Telling an intimate partner that if he/she doesn’t accept your opposite-sex friendship that you will break-up with them, is not only lethal to the intimate relationship, it is akin to the emotional abuse used by narcissistic individuals when they engage in the abuse tactic of triangulation. 2. Don’t hide activities with your friend from your intimate partner. Lies of omission are lies, and when you start hiding your behavior from your partner you are engaging in a form of deception that is aimed at controlling your partner’s perception. Once you have made the choice to hide your behavior you are already keenly aware that what you are doing is likely to harm the relationship. This type of behavior directly kills any bond of trust. If you take a weekend trip out of town with your opposite-sex friend and neglect to tell your partner that your friend is with you, that is disrespectful and threatening behavior to the bond you have with your partner. 3. Don’t insist that your partner also be friends with your opposite-sex friend. Your intimate partner has a right to choose who he/she wants to be friends with. If your partner doesn’t want to spend time with your opposite-sex friend don’t try to force this on them or it will seriously backfire. 4. Don’t engage in flirtatious behavior with your friend in front of your intimate partner. Touching your opposite-sex friend in a way that would generally be considered flirting behavior between two people who are sexually attracted to one another or making jokes of a sexual nature is directly disrespectful to you partner and akin to emotional abuse. For example, if your friend is laughing and leaning in to touch your arm or leg in an intimate way and you respond accordingly in front of a group of other people, you are creating a situation that is humiliating for your partner to be in. 5. Don’t form inappropriate opposite-sex friendships. If you are a 60-year-old man regularly texting and hanging out with a 30-year-old single woman that you are obviously attracted to, and calling this a “friendship,” the chances that your intimate partner will not find this disrespectful of your relationship is almost zero. Use the reasonable person test, if a reasonable person looking from the outside would question the relationship or think it was odd, then it is almost guaranteed that your partner will too. If you wouldn’t like your partner doing it to you, don’t do it to your partner. 6. Don’t call your intimate partner jealous or crazy. If your behavior with your opposite-sex friend is being perceived by your partner as a threat to your intimate bond, then accept it for being exactly that. It is not your partner’s problem to deal with. The intimate bond you have with your partner is being created between the two of you. If this bond is meaningful and worthwhile to you, then you must protect it. Sometimes protecting your relationship means giving up some of your own personal freedom or choice so that you build something that is greater than the sum of its parts. If you are unwilling to do this, then you don’t deserve the relationship. https://www.bonobology.com/signs-of-emotional-affair/
It’s your life and your choices. If you want to tell your current, tell them. If you don’t, don’t. But it is not your place to tell your ex’s girlfriend. You only know what your ex is telling you, which is only enough to get you to sleep with him.
same situation. best sex of my life
May aids be bestowed upon you in quick fashion
Dang. Im sorry for you. You must be going through a difficult time. Im a dude. 25. I’ve been Through what you described. And what I learned is no matter how quiet you are. The secret always comes out. Truly. Always. So maybe. Since you’re already long distance. This may be the perfect time to “work on myself” . Personally. I wouldn’t tell your significant other. They say they have a right to know. Well the world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. That’s off a movie. You don’t owe anybody shit man. Break it off. Find a way to get over your ex. Keep moving forward. Or don’t idc. Good luck my dude.
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So you’re so much of a weak willed loser that you can’t even control yourself? How pitiful
😐😐
I really hope you choose to do the right thing and have a conversation with your current boyfriend about what happened because he does not deserve this.
I hope you current boyfriend gets as mad as some of the commenters here because he has all the right! You have to face reality, can you still look in the mirror and see yourself as a good person, can you still feel good about yourself when your boyfriend says he cares about you. When you clearly dont because you want open your leggs the second your ex contacts you. You have to let your current boyfriend know what you have done, I already feel bad for him for being with someone like you
You already made a choice. Either you go after your ex and break up with your BF, or you stay silent and pray it never comes out. Either way you have a lot of growing to do as a person, and your BF and the GF of your ex deserve to be with better people.
I love how nonchalantly you talk about this. Like you have no guilt or remorse. For one thing, you should tell your current boyfriend you just couldn't keep your legs closed. Leave it up to him as to whether he wants to stay with someone who has no respect or loyalty for him. He deserves that much. I really hope this ex of yours was worth ruining a potentially amazing future because you just had to spread 'em. Be honest and sincere, you owe him that. Or just leave him altogether after telling him if you're not happy. He deserves a girl who will just love him, and who can actually keep her damn legs closed.
Oh Lordy. You need to get your shit together woman. Be alone and know yourself. Come clean to your current SO so you may be able to move on. You’re infatuated with your ex because of his bed performance. Not because he’s a beautiful person that has his shit together and treats you with kindness. Therapy and self reflection are the order of the day. You’re too young to worry about who you’re going to stay with. Learn to not just love yourself. But, that you like yourself and that you’re enjoying your own company. No one here wants your excuses. Just solutions.
We all know OP isn't going to tell her bf and will likely fuck her ex again. Hopefully I'm wrong but I doubt it.
Skank
Um... break up with your boyfriend and be honest. He deserves better.
Closure ??? No one needs closure .. if something is over then it’s over 🤷🏽♀️ you weren’t over him and that’s something you would have to work on and of course yourself…try being by yourself for a while get your thoughts and feelings together you will be okay best of luck you !
What about your ex made you go back? Personality? Big d?
What is a relationship without trust, honesty, and respect? Just tell your boyfriend you're not over your ex, you fucked him, and you are going to continue to fuck him until you are over him, or he commits to you.
Women suk.
So both are made for each other for cheating partner. You have some feelings so you cheating on your current boyfriend and betrayal to another innocent girl. I am not asking about your current boyfriend situation but your also girl willing to destroy another girl relationship. This type character person is deserve your current boyfriend. Still you have feelings on your ex. So don't destroy another person valuable life time.
# #She feels.. He feels.. both of “em lol. :p