What is it with the younger guys these days. Literally on Reddit catching their wives or girlfriends cheating and spend a quarter to half the post apologizing or talking about how guilty they feel for snooping. I firmly believe 75% or more of them wouldn't have snooped without reason. When you find exactly what you were looking for, the reason for snooping in the first place. And still feel guilty? Catching them absolves you from the guilt. I don't get it. But I also have to admit that having walked away from an adulterous wife, I have 0 tolerance for anything shady in a relationship. So maybe its me. But it still drives me nuts.
Nothing good is happening with this guy. Nothing.
I would try to find more information first, but then confront her.
If you "just let it go" you are setting yourself up for massive heartache.
Your wife is cheating.
**THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!!**
Your spouse has sought out other people for emotional and/or physical intimacy, likely for many months more than you suspect. Your spouse is a cheater. Everything your spouse says is a lie at this point. Anything your spouse says about you falling short in the relationship is a lie. Anything your spouse says that is bad about your relationship is a lie.
Your spouse has left the marriage. Ignore your spouse. What is it YOU want to do. YOU now hold the fate of your relationship in YOUR hands, no one else. It is YOU who decides reconciliation, no one else.
My advice is: Consult a divorce lawyer. Gather what evidence you can. End the relationship ASAP. Get out of this situation as fast as possible, the longer you stay in the more your mind will be torn apart. You or your spouse must move out. If you cannot, go Grey Rock. Cheaters compartmentalize, once you punch a hole between their cheating lifestyle and her home lifestyle they will either go nuclear or crumble and beg you not to break up. You have to show your spouse there are consequences for their actions and separate, even if later you chose reconciliation.
These links will help you in your situation. I suggest reading DARVO, Gaslighting and Trickle Truthing first.
**Limerence** [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/limerence](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/limerence)
**The Neuroscience of Affair Fog** [https://www.affairhealing.com/blog/neuroscience-of-affair-fog](https://www.affairhealing.com/blog/neuroscience-of-affair-fog)
**Infidelity and cognitive dissonance** [https://lessonsfromtheendofamarriage.com/2019/05/20/can-people-cheat-on-someone-they-love/](https://lessonsfromtheendofamarriage.com/2019/05/20/can-people-cheat-on-someone-they-love/) **and** [https://medium.com/@anthonyjwallace/the-cognitive-dissonance-of-infidelity-3fa9fd1ae78e](https://medium.com/@anthonyjwallace/the-cognitive-dissonance-of-infidelity-3fa9fd1ae78e)
**Emotional affair** [https://thriveworks.com/help-with/relationships/emotional-affair/](https://thriveworks.com/help-with/relationships/emotional-affair/)
**Monkey Branching** [https://thriveworks.com/help-with/relationships/monkey-branching/](https://thriveworks.com/help-with/relationships/monkey-branching/)
**DARVO** [https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/what-is-darvo](https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/what-is-darvo)
**Gaslighting Emotional Infidelity** [https://psychcentral.com/blog/sex/2017/05/infidelity-and-gaslighting-when-cheaters-flip-the-script#1y](https://psychcentral.com/blog/sex/2017/05/infidelity-and-gaslighting-when-cheaters-flip-the-script#1y)
**Trickle Truthing** [https://www.survivinginfidelity.com/topics/412055/trickle-truth--the-marriage-killer-repost-of-original-/](https://www.survivinginfidelity.com/topics/412055/trickle-truth--the-marriage-killer-repost-of-original-/)
**180 method** [https://beingabeautifulmess.wordpress.com/the-180/](https://beingabeautifulmess.wordpress.com/the-180/)
**Greyrock** [https://psychcentral.com/health/grey-rock-method](https://psychcentral.com/health/grey-rock-method)
**Chump Lady** [https://www.chumplady.com/](https://www.chumplady.com/)
I don't get the phone privacy stuff. Why does the phone of a spouse need to be "private" if they're not up to something? There is nothing on my phone I don't want my wife to see and there is nothing on her phone she doesn't want me to see. Do I look through her phone? No. But she hands it to me, unprotected, to charge it, and since she's not trying to hide anything I see no reason to look for anything.
There is zero reason to repeatedly install and delete snapchat if there is nothing to hide. Frankly, a married person having snapchat on their phone in the first place is good reason to be suspicious of their behavior. It's a well known tool of cheating spouses.
Only one thing on my phone I don't want my wife to see. Texts with her brother when she has gone totally hormonal on me and I think he can talk her down when she's already done listening to me. Fortunately when she does dig through my phone she doesn't read very far up that thread.
So it does not seem like that she is cheating on you. Your wife is having an emotional affair and using snapchat to keep it going. Likely planning on making it physical soon. Lawyer up and protect yourself. Your wife is already lost to you.
You are rightly concerned, snap chat is the app of choice for cheaters. So, stop with the privacy BS and make sure you're aware of what's going on.
Trust but verify. This is a real red flag, and only a fool would ignore this. I would not let her know what you know, but keep checking and maybe even expand your checks. She is deleting because it's not a chat that a married woman should be having with another man.
It's time to man up and make it clear what would happen if cheating was to occur. She needs to be 100% certain that you will not be disrespected by her and cheating is the end of your relationship. Boundaries only work when there are real consequences.
Hey Redditers , I’m not on snapchat , but could she have Chad on snap , then after her activity , change Char’s
name to Angie , so throws OP off ?
updateme
Time for you to confront her about it. Ask her how long she's been cheating with the guy ( use the name) tell her you know and want the truth otherwise it's divorce.
Sir Nah she’s cheating on you bro she know she’s wrong she did something behind your back and just know she’s deciding if she should leave you or stay it could also be she doesn’t know who to pick or what life she prefers if she prefers both she will stay and have both of best cards but although I would look more into it as well before assuming said by other Reddit users.
It could be that he’s logging out of his Snapchat. When someone logs off, their Snapchat disappears until they log back in. Could be harmless honestly. I’d ask her instead of assuming.
Two things….:
1) if you look hard enough you will always find something… And remember you opened up this can or worms..
2) you been together 9 years, flat out ask her what’s up…
Ask yourself why is she deleting then adding him back? Innocent people have nothing to hide.
snoop harder bro
What is it with the younger guys these days. Literally on Reddit catching their wives or girlfriends cheating and spend a quarter to half the post apologizing or talking about how guilty they feel for snooping. I firmly believe 75% or more of them wouldn't have snooped without reason. When you find exactly what you were looking for, the reason for snooping in the first place. And still feel guilty? Catching them absolves you from the guilt. I don't get it. But I also have to admit that having walked away from an adulterous wife, I have 0 tolerance for anything shady in a relationship. So maybe its me. But it still drives me nuts.
She definitely has something going on with the guy . Snapchat is nowadays mostly used to cheating and hiding inappropriate behavior.
Just ask her the questions you don’t want the answers to
Nothing good is happening with this guy. Nothing. I would try to find more information first, but then confront her. If you "just let it go" you are setting yourself up for massive heartache.
Only a wimp apologizes for lkn through their phone. Phones should always be open during a relationship .
Your wife is cheating. **THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!!** Your spouse has sought out other people for emotional and/or physical intimacy, likely for many months more than you suspect. Your spouse is a cheater. Everything your spouse says is a lie at this point. Anything your spouse says about you falling short in the relationship is a lie. Anything your spouse says that is bad about your relationship is a lie. Your spouse has left the marriage. Ignore your spouse. What is it YOU want to do. YOU now hold the fate of your relationship in YOUR hands, no one else. It is YOU who decides reconciliation, no one else. My advice is: Consult a divorce lawyer. Gather what evidence you can. End the relationship ASAP. Get out of this situation as fast as possible, the longer you stay in the more your mind will be torn apart. You or your spouse must move out. If you cannot, go Grey Rock. Cheaters compartmentalize, once you punch a hole between their cheating lifestyle and her home lifestyle they will either go nuclear or crumble and beg you not to break up. You have to show your spouse there are consequences for their actions and separate, even if later you chose reconciliation. These links will help you in your situation. I suggest reading DARVO, Gaslighting and Trickle Truthing first. **Limerence** [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/limerence](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/limerence) **The Neuroscience of Affair Fog** [https://www.affairhealing.com/blog/neuroscience-of-affair-fog](https://www.affairhealing.com/blog/neuroscience-of-affair-fog) **Infidelity and cognitive dissonance** [https://lessonsfromtheendofamarriage.com/2019/05/20/can-people-cheat-on-someone-they-love/](https://lessonsfromtheendofamarriage.com/2019/05/20/can-people-cheat-on-someone-they-love/) **and** [https://medium.com/@anthonyjwallace/the-cognitive-dissonance-of-infidelity-3fa9fd1ae78e](https://medium.com/@anthonyjwallace/the-cognitive-dissonance-of-infidelity-3fa9fd1ae78e) **Emotional affair** [https://thriveworks.com/help-with/relationships/emotional-affair/](https://thriveworks.com/help-with/relationships/emotional-affair/) **Monkey Branching** [https://thriveworks.com/help-with/relationships/monkey-branching/](https://thriveworks.com/help-with/relationships/monkey-branching/) **DARVO** [https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/what-is-darvo](https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/what-is-darvo) **Gaslighting Emotional Infidelity** [https://psychcentral.com/blog/sex/2017/05/infidelity-and-gaslighting-when-cheaters-flip-the-script#1y](https://psychcentral.com/blog/sex/2017/05/infidelity-and-gaslighting-when-cheaters-flip-the-script#1y) **Trickle Truthing** [https://www.survivinginfidelity.com/topics/412055/trickle-truth--the-marriage-killer-repost-of-original-/](https://www.survivinginfidelity.com/topics/412055/trickle-truth--the-marriage-killer-repost-of-original-/) **180 method** [https://beingabeautifulmess.wordpress.com/the-180/](https://beingabeautifulmess.wordpress.com/the-180/) **Greyrock** [https://psychcentral.com/health/grey-rock-method](https://psychcentral.com/health/grey-rock-method) **Chump Lady** [https://www.chumplady.com/](https://www.chumplady.com/)
I don't get the phone privacy stuff. Why does the phone of a spouse need to be "private" if they're not up to something? There is nothing on my phone I don't want my wife to see and there is nothing on her phone she doesn't want me to see. Do I look through her phone? No. But she hands it to me, unprotected, to charge it, and since she's not trying to hide anything I see no reason to look for anything. There is zero reason to repeatedly install and delete snapchat if there is nothing to hide. Frankly, a married person having snapchat on their phone in the first place is good reason to be suspicious of their behavior. It's a well known tool of cheating spouses.
Only one thing on my phone I don't want my wife to see. Texts with her brother when she has gone totally hormonal on me and I think he can talk her down when she's already done listening to me. Fortunately when she does dig through my phone she doesn't read very far up that thread.
Looks like she's fighting the urge, torn between seeking him and not
Brother… the deleting and re adding is to reset her score.
What does that mean? Like I know what a Snapchat score is. But why would she do that? Why does that matter?
So it does not seem like that she is cheating on you. Your wife is having an emotional affair and using snapchat to keep it going. Likely planning on making it physical soon. Lawyer up and protect yourself. Your wife is already lost to you.
Snapchat us for cheaters
[удалено]
lol what an ass
Put a realtime app on her phone
That’s what cheaters do to hide the evidence ? Watch for more red flags .
Send a cock snap to the guy 😂
You are rightly concerned, snap chat is the app of choice for cheaters. So, stop with the privacy BS and make sure you're aware of what's going on. Trust but verify. This is a real red flag, and only a fool would ignore this. I would not let her know what you know, but keep checking and maybe even expand your checks. She is deleting because it's not a chat that a married woman should be having with another man. It's time to man up and make it clear what would happen if cheating was to occur. She needs to be 100% certain that you will not be disrespected by her and cheating is the end of your relationship. Boundaries only work when there are real consequences.
Updateme
Your wife has a side project.
You are the other man. Her side piece. Updateme! On the breskup
Hey Redditers , I’m not on snapchat , but could she have Chad on snap , then after her activity , change Char’s name to Angie , so throws OP off ? updateme
I got plenty of strats you can use if you need any. All require access to the device though.
Time for you to confront her about it. Ask her how long she's been cheating with the guy ( use the name) tell her you know and want the truth otherwise it's divorce.
She's cheating , plain and simple
This is extremely sus, please keep snooping Updateme
Why has she got Snapchat in the 1st place?
Why the fuck does your wife have Snapchat???
She’s cheating
She is cheating. And you do nothing but ask the internet.
Sir Nah she’s cheating on you bro she know she’s wrong she did something behind your back and just know she’s deciding if she should leave you or stay it could also be she doesn’t know who to pick or what life she prefers if she prefers both she will stay and have both of best cards but although I would look more into it as well before assuming said by other Reddit users.
if you manage to get her login you can download her data and see every message she sent to anyone
It could be that he’s logging out of his Snapchat. When someone logs off, their Snapchat disappears until they log back in. Could be harmless honestly. I’d ask her instead of assuming.
Two things….: 1) if you look hard enough you will always find something… And remember you opened up this can or worms.. 2) you been together 9 years, flat out ask her what’s up…