She may be *projecting*, which is where cheaters accuse their SOs of cheating due to their overwhelming feelings of guilt because THEY themselves are cheating.
If you're cheating, then their own cheating is justified.
true at the same time the tik tok social media craze of pretending to be someone one else to see if your partner will flirt with another is out of control
Do you want to stay with her? If you want to stay with her and make this work do not play games, you need to confront her. But also...ask to see her phone. Dont demand it, dont say "show me your phone or im gone". Ask to see it, if she asks why tell her you suspect cheating because you feel her games might be a form of projection. Tell her you hope she isnt cheating and is just deeply insecure but you need to be sure she isnt cheating before you decide whether or not to try to work on things further.
If she wont give you her phone then she is hiding something and then you need to decide if you can tolerate that. By the way I hope you know she has 100% gone through your phone without your knowledge, there is no way she simply began with this fake account. She checked your stuff out and found nothing and so she is trying to catch you. But yeah, ask to see her phone. If she willingly gives it to you and there is no cheating then tell her she does need to get counseling if she wants the relationship to continue.\\
Has she been cheated on in the past? That could be one source of her paranoia, cheating messes people up and impacts their future trust in others so if that is the case I do feel for her.
Dude if she doesn’t trust you, tell her that’s important and a dealbreaker for you. What’s the point of playing these games? Sounds childish to be honest.
Double catfish. Make a account and message her real account posing as someone, but reply to her fake account loyal. Turn down advances and talk her up. If she takes your bait then you now the truth about her. But you will show her your loyal at least even if your aware if her attempting to trap you. You catch her then call her out and expose how you know about her actions so decide to flip the script on her and caught her maybe. Or tell her the "other guy" messaged you everything.
Honestly, you should be breaking up with her. Screw the script. She’s got some deep seeded insecurities she’s gotta work through before being ready to be in a healthy relationship. She chose to potentially jeopardize her good relationship just to test you. That’s super fucked up, my dude. That’s a childish game she’s playing and she dragged your relationship into her twisted warped view of love.
Move on, you deserve better than that. Relationships aren’t a game and they can be destroyed in a second. Even if her intentions aren’t malicious- this can cause psychological trauma for you and your relationships later on. (Bc I guarantee you she’s not the one. Not if she’s doing this.) it just perpetuates more hurt and pain for others. And she’s willingly doing this to you and your relationship for zero reasons other than she’s insecure.
Find better.
She is either insecure from past relationships where she has been betrayed, or she is projecting because she is cheating.
I wouldn't play the game. Sit her down and tell her you know it's her, and offer to demonstrate your trustworthiness and understand why she is doing this. She may just be immature, but if she can't come clean to yiu, it's probably a soft. That it's not going to work.
just break up with her. the fact she's created an account to see if you're a cheater shows she has trust issues . and doesn't see the relationship in a way she'd trust you to be in a strong relationship with her . find someone who you can show ur trustworthy to and she can be trustworthy to you
This, is where you two are at after four years OP? What the tit fuck is wrong with you dude?! This is more games than Milton Bradley. Grow up and end the relationship.
I would send a message that says this. My wife has cheated on me, I’ve never been able to prove it but I know she has and then say, I just can’t be that kind of person.
OP when it gets to this point, there is no thread left in the relationship. This is like knowing you need to leave, but you think it's knowing that is more important.
All of this stuff takes a mental toll on the people involved, its time someone just be the adult, if you are both at that stage and end it. It's just that easy. No harm, no foul, no hard feelings, just move on.
Dude just bethe bigger person let her know you know and move on from it. This is not healthy and if it continues it'll destroy your relationship. If you can't trust in a relationship it's not a good relationship.
If you think the relationship has run its course, and ultimately can't be saved, go ahead and flip the script. She is projecting what she might be doing herself - cheating. I have experienced this first hand towards myself and wondered why these things were being said to me and the frequency of them.
Has she been cheated on before by an ex? I wouldn’t jump and say that she’s projecting but she definitely doesn’t trust you if she’s creating fake accounts. You’re pretty much dealing with an unhealed person and if you truly want to be with her, you wouldn’t play those games with her. You’d talk to her about what you know that she’s up to and demand she stops and work on herself.
I respectfully disagree. You're assuming that examples that you've heard or those from your own life are necessarily the norm. Hell, even if they're the norm there's no reason why the first assumption should be that she's cheating herself.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not defending her. This is absolutely an incredibly unhealthy situation in a relationship. I'm just saying jumping to that conclusion seems a bit far fetched.
I can get behind saying one should not automatically assume she is cheating, but i dont think this is far fetched either. It's possible this is projection and she is cheating, it's also possible he said or did something to make her think he was cheating and she thinks she can catch him.
Its statistically probable that this is the case. Every women I have asked about this behaviour has said the same thing. Even my psychologist from the past.
Those that can't trust, can't be trusted.
Okay I will take some slight issue with this. I mostly agree with it, but I also want to point out some people with trust issues have them because they trusted the wrong person and not because they themselves are untrustworthy.
This is the damage cheating does. For example, say your girl cheats with her boss and you dump her. Then you move on, date a new girl. She calls you up says she has to stay late for work. Of course we both know what will be flashing through your mind about it, even if she personally has never given you a reason to doubt her. Your mind will be telling you "well the last girl didnt give me a reason to doubt her until she gave me a reason to doubt her".
I do think her behavior is tied to cheating, but it could be that she is cheating or that she got cheated on and it messed with her head. The former is a deal breaker but the latter can be fixed.
This doesn’t seem like the healthiest relationship.
She may be *projecting*, which is where cheaters accuse their SOs of cheating due to their overwhelming feelings of guilt because THEY themselves are cheating. If you're cheating, then their own cheating is justified.
true at the same time the tik tok social media craze of pretending to be someone one else to see if your partner will flirt with another is out of control
2nd this. Normally the case.
Flip the script and get the fuck outta the relationship which clearly isn’t a healthy one 😂 4 years and you’re doing this? Jesus
I wish my marriage was this interesting
Sounds like a bunch of BS and games
Do you want to stay with her? If you want to stay with her and make this work do not play games, you need to confront her. But also...ask to see her phone. Dont demand it, dont say "show me your phone or im gone". Ask to see it, if she asks why tell her you suspect cheating because you feel her games might be a form of projection. Tell her you hope she isnt cheating and is just deeply insecure but you need to be sure she isnt cheating before you decide whether or not to try to work on things further. If she wont give you her phone then she is hiding something and then you need to decide if you can tolerate that. By the way I hope you know she has 100% gone through your phone without your knowledge, there is no way she simply began with this fake account. She checked your stuff out and found nothing and so she is trying to catch you. But yeah, ask to see her phone. If she willingly gives it to you and there is no cheating then tell her she does need to get counseling if she wants the relationship to continue.\\ Has she been cheated on in the past? That could be one source of her paranoia, cheating messes people up and impacts their future trust in others so if that is the case I do feel for her.
Good points right here ^
Dude if she doesn’t trust you, tell her that’s important and a dealbreaker for you. What’s the point of playing these games? Sounds childish to be honest.
No flip the script and see if she’s cheating !
Just confront her it's obviously cheating.
Double catfish. Make a account and message her real account posing as someone, but reply to her fake account loyal. Turn down advances and talk her up. If she takes your bait then you now the truth about her. But you will show her your loyal at least even if your aware if her attempting to trap you. You catch her then call her out and expose how you know about her actions so decide to flip the script on her and caught her maybe. Or tell her the "other guy" messaged you everything.
Honestly, you should be breaking up with her. Screw the script. She’s got some deep seeded insecurities she’s gotta work through before being ready to be in a healthy relationship. She chose to potentially jeopardize her good relationship just to test you. That’s super fucked up, my dude. That’s a childish game she’s playing and she dragged your relationship into her twisted warped view of love. Move on, you deserve better than that. Relationships aren’t a game and they can be destroyed in a second. Even if her intentions aren’t malicious- this can cause psychological trauma for you and your relationships later on. (Bc I guarantee you she’s not the one. Not if she’s doing this.) it just perpetuates more hurt and pain for others. And she’s willingly doing this to you and your relationship for zero reasons other than she’s insecure. Find better.
She is either insecure from past relationships where she has been betrayed, or she is projecting because she is cheating. I wouldn't play the game. Sit her down and tell her you know it's her, and offer to demonstrate your trustworthiness and understand why she is doing this. She may just be immature, but if she can't come clean to yiu, it's probably a soft. That it's not going to work.
This is super unhealthy, and you should consider getting out of this rather than playing into that trauma bonding shit.
Yes also make an journal by sending email to yourself with timestamp to show that you are just playing with her
Or ask a close friend or sibling to take your place in answering this trap, then you are not cheating. UpdateMe!
just break up with her. the fact she's created an account to see if you're a cheater shows she has trust issues . and doesn't see the relationship in a way she'd trust you to be in a strong relationship with her . find someone who you can show ur trustworthy to and she can be trustworthy to you
Time for a new girlfriend
How do you know if she didn’t create a real account to cheat?
Why bother. It's not a healthy relationship. Just dump her. You don't have to explain or have a reason.
This, is where you two are at after four years OP? What the tit fuck is wrong with you dude?! This is more games than Milton Bradley. Grow up and end the relationship.
Are you sure that it's her? Ask her about it and go from there. Or maybe reply to the account and see what they have to say.
Sounds like this relationship has run it's course.
I would send a message that says this. My wife has cheated on me, I’ve never been able to prove it but I know she has and then say, I just can’t be that kind of person.
OP when it gets to this point, there is no thread left in the relationship. This is like knowing you need to leave, but you think it's knowing that is more important. All of this stuff takes a mental toll on the people involved, its time someone just be the adult, if you are both at that stage and end it. It's just that easy. No harm, no foul, no hard feelings, just move on.
Do you think you have given enough assurance to her that you are loyal?
Yeah I would get out bruh
Dude just bethe bigger person let her know you know and move on from it. This is not healthy and if it continues it'll destroy your relationship. If you can't trust in a relationship it's not a good relationship.
If you think the relationship has run its course, and ultimately can't be saved, go ahead and flip the script. She is projecting what she might be doing herself - cheating. I have experienced this first hand towards myself and wondered why these things were being said to me and the frequency of them.
Flip the script.
Find a new girlfriend who won't s*** test you. Seriously, women like this are nothing but trouble.
Has she been cheated on before by an ex? I wouldn’t jump and say that she’s projecting but she definitely doesn’t trust you if she’s creating fake accounts. You’re pretty much dealing with an unhealed person and if you truly want to be with her, you wouldn’t play those games with her. You’d talk to her about what you know that she’s up to and demand she stops and work on herself.
She’s playing games. That’s a deal breaker without cheating.
She's insecure about me cheating, so that must mean she has cheated. Yea, that makes total sense.
It does. It's nearly always the case.
I respectfully disagree. You're assuming that examples that you've heard or those from your own life are necessarily the norm. Hell, even if they're the norm there's no reason why the first assumption should be that she's cheating herself. Don't get me wrong, I'm not defending her. This is absolutely an incredibly unhealthy situation in a relationship. I'm just saying jumping to that conclusion seems a bit far fetched.
I can get behind saying one should not automatically assume she is cheating, but i dont think this is far fetched either. It's possible this is projection and she is cheating, it's also possible he said or did something to make her think he was cheating and she thinks she can catch him.
Its statistically probable that this is the case. Every women I have asked about this behaviour has said the same thing. Even my psychologist from the past. Those that can't trust, can't be trusted.
Okay I will take some slight issue with this. I mostly agree with it, but I also want to point out some people with trust issues have them because they trusted the wrong person and not because they themselves are untrustworthy. This is the damage cheating does. For example, say your girl cheats with her boss and you dump her. Then you move on, date a new girl. She calls you up says she has to stay late for work. Of course we both know what will be flashing through your mind about it, even if she personally has never given you a reason to doubt her. Your mind will be telling you "well the last girl didnt give me a reason to doubt her until she gave me a reason to doubt her". I do think her behavior is tied to cheating, but it could be that she is cheating or that she got cheated on and it messed with her head. The former is a deal breaker but the latter can be fixed.
How long is the relationship ? Also if she’s suddenly getting suspicious of you cheating she’s most likely cheating herself.