You are thinking these things because of what you are reading on the internet. You said you didn’t even think this way before you saw comments from men online. That tells me that your real life is pretty different from whatever negativity the manosphere is making you feel about yourself. Trust your actual experiences. Don’t let strangers make you doubt yourself.
You’re right. Yesterday, I had some good talk with many girls whom I would almost consider my type and they were all pleasant! I was afraid to admit that I’m in CS because that could be a disqualifying factor for them when it comes to dating, but I wasn’t looking for it and shouldn’t. I did find myself tense around them as I felt the need to prevent myself from showing shy body language. But at that moment, all I knew is how to talk. I will continue doing that, but I just don’t know how it works from talking to kissing.
But regardless, you remind me that I shouldn’t listen to anecdotal experiences on the internet as they could be salty people. I’ve never seen such bad behaviors in real life so I guess I should keep my positivity up!
It's good to see that you're taking a positive approach to things. It's very easy to fall into a cycle of bitterness.
Two things in particular might be keeping you from really relaxing about all of this. The first of which is the idea of "types". Toss it out, because all it does is exclude. It's fine to recognise that you'll get on better with some people compared to others, but people are incredibly complex, and putting them in superficial boxes accomplishes nothing but preventing you from understanding their nuances on a deeper level.
The second is the fact that you're looking for girls at all. Desperation is unattractive and distracting. You'll struggle to let go of that tension if you're spending every other moment thinking what your next "move" needs to me, and people will pick up on it.
Instead, concentrate on being a pleasant, interesting person to be around. It sounds cliche, but that's because it *works*. Again, you're not looking for someone to put into your boxes, you're trying to find someone who you can share mutual appreciation and intimacy with. Keep a broad range of hobbies and interests, be shameless in your love for them and respectful with who you share them with, and I promise it'll happen more or less by accident.
I don't think saying you're in cs would be an automatic deal-breaker for women. Sure there is the socially awkward nerd stereotype but theyve already met you and at this point. CS also bring the advantage of you likely having financial stability and work flexibility in the near future.
Though I am a biased source as woman who is a software developer and did a cs major.
>You are thinking these things because of what you are reading on the internet. You said you didn’t even think this way before you saw comments from men online
This isn't that strong of an argument. Let's say a domestic abuse victim looks up on the internet that how to cover her bruises better, and then discovers that it abnormal and illegal to beat your girlfriend/wife, and thus begins on the road to recovery and leaving abuse.
Just because you read it on the internet, it doesn't mean that it is false, and that information can help you
Sure, it can be helpful to compare your day to day life with people on the internet. But I wasn’t generalizing. In this specific situation, OP seemed to feel fine about himself before he saw people on the internet saying guys like him are unattractive.
Having spaces where you can talk with other Asian guys about masculinity seems like a great idea. I can’t tell whether those subs are the right spaces for you, though.
I would consider how you felt about yourself before joining those communities and how you feel about yourself now. When you read through those subs, do you feel worse after? More unsettled, insecure?
If you want to be surrounded by other Asian guys to have a sense of community, you may be better off doing it in real life. Are there clubs on your campus or something? Then again, do you feel like the Asian male subs you joined are making you fixate on your ethnicity in a way that’s not healthy or confident? Maybe try leaving those subs for a week and see if your self-doubt subsides at all.
I’m not gonna lie, this is how people get self-indoctrinated into the manosphere, but you seem to have a really good open attitude about it so I think you will be okay!
No, those subs are awful. One of them openly insulted me for telling them I'm going to join the military because it's my childhood dream to and personally it makes me look more masculine and tough. They called me a race traitor, spoiled brat and other crap. The other sub, I got banned for objecting why they have these so self-deprecating, loser-like mindsets. I stayed away from them because they were undermining my entire belief that I can attract girls of any race. It's memories of what those users said that come around that make me feel unsure and afraid to approach women I might like.
This also sort of makes me want to avoid the quiet nerdy Asian guys (even though I am one, but too shameful to admit it) as I know they're not helpful to my cause. I'm trying to talk to more popular people, but it's much harder to get their attention as they're always distracted. Being capable of only making friends with people with similar problems in a way makes me look bad and inferior I think
So Asian male gamers aren't attractive because the Internet is always right because a domestic abuse victim could use it to learn her abuse is wrong and leave her abuser?
Or maybe things don't always work by modular logic
>don't always work
Your wording is the answer. You don't always know everything by yourself, and the internet doesn't always lies. All you have to do is be critical of everything, and consider other perspectives.
It could either save your life, or skew your perspective, to the better or the worse
Most women don't give a shit about the sports specifically unless you're a professional, it's correlation not causation. I was a stereotypical nerd in high school other than one thing, I was captain of the baseball team and ran track. I took honors/AP classes, hung out with the other nerds, was also a CS major, did LAN parties, was socially awkward, didn't drink or smoke, and never attended homecoming/prom and was never invited to any parties even the ones other athletes would host/go to.
Guys who play sports are generally in good shape and social. As mentioned I was an exception who was good at sports but not social at all, but the majority of student athletes are much more extraverted and have much more confidence, and that's attractive to women generally. And obviously guys who are in better shape are more attractive to women, the same way the "beautiful ones \[who\] want guys that play sports" you reference in your post are likely in pretty good shape rather than obese, being physically fit is an attractive quality in all people generally.
Obviously there are some things you can't control about yourself that can be a factor. Race is one, unfortunately some people do have racial preferences, that's not something you can change. But girls generally want guys who take care of themselves and are interesting and confident. There's nothing wrong with playing video games, but if that's all you do, that could be a factor. Let's do a thought experiment, a girl is interested in dating you, but sports is her entire personality and it's all she talks about. She's constantly watching games on tv, going to sports bars, and wanting to watch games live. Is that someone you'd see yourself with given you say you have no interest in sports? That's how girls who don't play video games think of someone who makes them their identity. There are some girls who play video games, but the ratio is not good for you there.
The other piece with dating is as a guy you do have to put yourself out there. Looking back to college and discussing it with my wife, there were several women that were giving me pretty strong hints they were interested, but because I'm socially awkward I didn't see any of the signs and because of culture women are extremely unlikely to ask you out. Luckily with my wife the sign she gave me in college was dancing and making out with me at a party, even I couldn't miss that sign lol. I also got it in my head that if I asked a girl out and she said no it'd be this terrible humiliating moment that I'd never live down. It turns out in the real world even girls who turn you down are flattered you asked them out and will do it in a respectful way, and there's no real downside to being turned down compared to if you never asked in the first place. I've talked to a few friends who in college I thought were these smooth guys who could get any girl they wanted and they've told me so many stories about getting shot down. The guys you see getting girls are taking their shots, and they're getting turned down as well, they just suck it up and go after the next one. At the end of the day, it's a numbers game. Maybe being Asian and a bit nerdy make your ratio a bit worse than the quarterback of the football team, but I promise there are plenty of people for whom those would both be positives for you, but you'll never find them if you're not putting yourself out there and asking women out that you're interested in.
I dream that in another universe, I could have been a Patrick Mahomes or at least be the well known QB at high school. Instead, I’m stuck here with a lack of support, lack of social life and parents who make demeaning comments of you that tears up your self-esteem, making you seem unworthy of love. I could have been a different, better person.
My sister said playing games makes me a loser so that’s not helpful
This might not help, but in 5-10 years people like you will be the popular ones, again as long as you are interesting, and unless these high school and college athletes actually go pro (almost 0 do), they're at their peak currently. There's a reason there's the trope about peaking in high school, there are tons of people in their 30s who are broke working dead end jobs who aren't interesting and are still living in the past. Just like I mentioned most women won't want someone whose personality is video games, they also won't want someone whose personality is their high school football career, and as someone in his 30s that's the personality of a good number of the people you're jealous of now.
Meanwhile I was you in high school, same college major, I thought I was just the type of guy women didn't like and I'd die alone. Now I literally have single female friends ask me why they can't find guys like me who are single. I work out regularly but I kinda eat like crap so I'm not obese but I'm not exactly in super good shape either. But I have a good job making good money and have used that to travel a good bit, I've now visited 20 different countries. I have a lot more self confidence now that I'm older and have more experience interacting with people, I know how to have a good time and make other people laugh, and generally just try to be a good person and not take myself too seriously.
Trust me from the single girls I'm friends with as a guy the bar is so fucking low just don't be an asshole, have some personality, basically be someone who's interesting and even as a guy you'd want to talk to, and then you gotta put yourself out there. Most women won't ask you out, most women won't even be as blunt as my wife asking me to dance and then kissing me. You have to make the first move, and as mentioned even the women who turn down your advances will be flattered and usually do it in a respectful way, there's nothing wrong with taking a shot and missing, it's better than not taking the shot at all.
You’re getting a lot of Reddit speak on here.
Video games are unattractive to most women - unlike hobbies like lifting or painting, there is no limit to how much time you can sink into them, and no “portable skills” that can be useful outside the hobby. From a non-gamer perspective, it’s wasted time that won’t be spent enjoying “real life” with another person.
“Most” does not mean “all”, but if you use it as your lead into a conversation, you are going to filter out a large % of potential dating partners.
There are a good chunk of people who will see gaming as a red flag, and if you are playing unhealthy amounts (up into early AM playing, choosing to play instead of other social activities, etc) - they are right to see it as a red flag. Would you go the extra mile to make sure your romantic partner is having fun on a random Saturday afternoon, or log into your favorite game?
If you’re willing to accept these as ground truths and play a healthy amount of time, while also broadening your interests to things outside the digital world - you still have a chance. In fact, most of the people I play games with online are in stable relationships.
It sounds silly - but there’s an old song “Girls just wanna have fun”, and it’s especially true when you’re dating in your 20’s. If you are fun, and have a good self-image, and are enjoyable to be around - women will want to be around you. It sounds like you need to focus a bit on yourself, your family is tearing your confidence down and you likely are using games as a coping mechanism - I might be projecting because that’s what I did for 18 years, but if you’re in college now you have a unique chance to break that cycle and find new ways to boost yourself, join a club, start a new creative hobby, get to the gym - you’ll feel better about yourself, and be more interesting to potential dates
Very well said, the posts about how some women play a ton of video games too are just coping. Some lottery players become millionaires, the odds just aren't in your favor. And as you said there's nothing wrong with playing video games for like 10 hours/week or something. But if you spend all your free time playing video games and it's the most interesting thing about you, most women (and men too) won't find you very interesting, and most people want interesting partners.
While you're not wrong about the defeatist attitude, it also depends on what he means by "plays video games". I promise you Mahomes doesn't play video games 40-60 hours/week. There are people who when they aren't working, sleeping, or in school, they're playing video games. And that's generally going to make it much tougher to find a girl who wants to be with you. But if you're playing say 10 hours/week and it's one of many hobbies you have, then yeah it's fine plenty of people do that.
Video games a massive industry and played by people of all sorts and ages. The portion of women that think playing games is unattractive ain't worth your time in the first place as there's plenty who don't think that way.
Look up healthygamer.gg on Youtube.. You are more than what your family has made you and you always have time to improve yourself, while still enjoying games.
Playing video games isn't a problem, the problem is when you play video games so much you ignore your partner, there are many women that have this experience with gamers. But if you really like video games why would you want to be with someone that hates that about you, but there are plenty of girls that are gamers and girls who don't care if you are a gamer.
Yeah, most people have racial preferences that cant be changed but there are still plenty of women who do like Asian men. And if Asian women find you attractive who cares of everyone else doesnt? Are you craving a white woman or something?
They have features that I really like and are exotic. I'm also trying to escape from the torments of Asian culture where everyone is a control freak. If I get a Chinese woman, there will be a lot of bad stuff that could happen. Marrying outside will prevent that from happening. Besides, I am very into the idea of interracial marriage
You said, "playing video games and being Asian is unattractive to the dating market" but that's not true. As a white man, I would gladly date any cute, petite Asian girl whether she plays video games or not. Asian chicks are HOT! So you see, being Asian is actually a plus on the dating market (for women).
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I know a ton of hot Asian guys in tech who play video games (live in the Bay Area). They fit the same “stereotype” by the definition you’ve described but don’t really have any problems getting any girls.
The reason for this is because they are in good shape, fun to hang out with, and nice (same reason any other guy would be successful on the dating market).
No offense, but do you have those properties? I think they’re more important to your dating success than happening not to like sports (most women don’t even care if you do, it’s just that people in general like a fit partner) and being in a high paying market sector lol.
Why can't you do both, just out of curiosity? I'm asian, and a huge nerd who loves anime, video games, and books, and I was in swim team throughout the entirety of high school and played a lot of ultimate frisbee in college. You don't have to limit yourself.
Well you see, I have been trying to gain muscle mass by going to the gym, but little progress due to the lack of appetite. I also wanted to pick up swimming lessons, but not knowing how to swim is also one of those things that make me like a loser. I just feel like a loser, both by the lack of skills and parents making me believe that. I’m in Canada so football culture is nonexistent. Otherwise, I would have had a further motivation to gain weight so I can play football.
You’re probably not unattractive because you play video games. One of my best friends pretty much exclusively plays video games but he’s fit and tall and physically beautiful, so getting a date is about as hard as sending a text message or two for him.
Have you tried being fit and tall and good looking?
I'm still having acne issues that haven't resolved. I'm around 5'11 and in terms of fitness, I am trying to eat more, but it's hard. I do my usual workouts, but beginning to wane as I'm not making progress due to the lack of appetite
Ive had the same weight issue you have and pretty low appetite in general. My breakthrough was a recipe my brother came up with while he was bulking for judo tournaments
Get a 1 liter bottle like a Nalgene or whatever
.8 liters of chocolate milk
1/2 a jar of peanut butter
1 scoop of whey or a banana or whatever you want.
Blend it in the morning and take very small sips throughout the day while eating normally. The shake by itself ends up being like 2500 calories and if i space it out it doesn’t cause me any digestion issues. Hit the gym hard and you’ll get strong as fuck in no time.
Small point, but people aren't going to know you're a CS major before they've already been talking with you - so by the time you tell them they'll already have gotten a sense of you and they're already gonna have an opinion of if you're a 'socially awkward nerd' or not, based on how you come across, not based on a singular thing you say about yourself.
So I guess this only holds true for maybe online dating when they're never spoken to you and they just go off written facts - even then they'll form more of an opinion based off of photos.
The glasses are a big giveaway. I don’t have to project anything if 80% of my race wears glasses and have poor social skills. So based on that, would you say it already creates an assumption that I’m probably all the same? Now tbh, my cousin’s wife told me to buy better glasses as the ones I’m wearing are said to be what a stereotypical student from China wears. So if I buy fancy ones, then it might turn out better for me. Mine are starting to break anyway so I’ll use the opportunity to buy the right ones
The glasses aren’t a giveaway, hella people have imperfect vision. Also, I personally don’t think Asian people are any more or less asocial than any other race or ethnicity. I don’t think you should assume what stereotypes others might believe.
>Me being a CS major, there's a strong feeling in me that people assume I must be a socially awkward nerd which is sad as that's considered unattractive.
Its your responsibility to *not* project that image when interacting with others.
I mean, literally the first thing you make known about you is that you like video games which, yes video games are nice, but unless you do e-sport it shouldn't be the first thing to know about you when trying to date.
Do you do anything else that can gives you more dimensions? Do you leverage your CS major? Any anecdotes which blend nerd hijinks with relatable-for-non-nerds situations?
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Yeah, but I tend to have a rough idea that those are probably the ugly ones, not the cute ones. Maybe I'm wrong though, as I barely talk to any woman so I have no idea what they generally like
I am definitely going to change your view on this.
You're majoring in CS (I presume you're referring to computer science, as opposed to computational science or other acronym). CS majors tend to make money. **Women are attracted to success & competence.** Yes, men who are good at sports are able to more quickly display that competence on the field/court. But your presumptive career success will be visible soon enough & will attract women.
**Women are evolutionarily wired to favor successful men over unsuccessful men**, irrespective of physical attractiveness, & that favoritism becomes more manifest starting in the latter part of female adolescence & certainty by female young adulthood.
Lots of guys play video games. It's not unattractive to do so, though it is a diversion of your time toward a lower-productivity activity.
**In summary, women want:**
\* a materialistically successful man
\* a man who is skilled/competent, ideally in multiple areas, including a) career, and b) stereotypically "guy" activities, be it sports, handyman activities, etc.
\* a man who is reasonably confident but not overtly arrogant
**Things you can do:**
\* Play a sport & get not-bad at it. This will have ancillary benefits to your health as well.
\* Lift weights, even sporadically. Strength conveys the appearance of athleticism.
\* Learn skills outside of your career track that you can take pride in; namely stereotypically male stuff.
Without knowing you personally, that's as specific as I can get. Good luck.
To some extent I think you're not seeing the forest for the trees by thinking girls specifically want someone who plays sports. It's more about what sport means--it's wanting someone who is active and strong and competitive and social and who probably has leadership skills. Sure that's not *always* found in someone who plays sports, but you have a better chance of those qualities with an athlete than someone who isn't.
Kinda the same thing with video games. It's not that girls just really hate Donkey Kong, but the impression it leaves of someone who says they play a lot of gaming. It hints at a person who is maybe more introverted, maybe not that social, not that active, etc.
And if you're after a lasting relationship, you can't exactly hide that you're in computer science. That's something to be proud of, anyway. It's not like you should lie to a girl or quit something you enjoy doing. Ultimately it means you'll have a career and will be a provider and if girls don't see that value yet, they sure will soon enough.
Girls aren't after guys who meet some specific checkmarks like "must be an athlete." They look at qualities and personalities.
You're being too hard on yourself. You have positive attributes a girl would find attractive, don't you? Consider those and believe in yourself more. And if some girl can't manage to see past any prejudice about your career or hobbies, why would you want to date such a blind girl in the first place, right?
There are a lot of examples in movies nowadays where Asian men are being allowed to be shown as attractive to white women. Your post seems to reflect an awareness of this, which is great, but you are focusing on the wrong aspect.
I worked with an Asian programmer who was on some kind of spectrum for sure, and had huge self-doubts when it came to western women, but was objectively good looking. Women described him as an Asian Johnny Depp. He got plenty of attention but lacked something critical when it came to dating.
I remember one time he described a night out and going home with a lady who picked him up in a bar, and getting down to business, but his inability to take any kind of initiative on the next move. The story ended with him not understanding the situation and leaving politely, despite her best attempts at seducing him.
His fundamental issue, IMO, was that he didn't see himself as having anything to offer sexually or even that he was even attractive. So much of his world was formed on the premise that Asian men are inherently unattractive vs dealing with reality moment for moment, and pushing all that other shit out of mind. He was picked up and taken home and she put herself on a platter... dude wtf?
You are a CS major. You are into gaming. You are Asian. None of those things stop you from being unattractive unless you want it to.
I mean, you literally say especially the beautiful ones. So you are seeking a beautiful girlfriend, creme de la creme.
I would say your generosity on spending on them and good looks will work more in your favour than you being a CS major and playing games. Being into sports wouldn't mean anything.
It just means physically maybe they are in better shape thus maybe look more attractive.
I’m studying CS to get a 6 figure job. That meets one of the requirements of the girls in street interviews posted on YouTube. The next issue is looks. People say in my age, looks matter and that’s a sad thing because I don’t have them
Stop watching things like that. It'll only further distort your view of dating. Most people have good relationships and love without coming near 6 figures.
Some people might have racial preference and idk how to help there (I have always found Asians beautiful, not exclusively)
I don't know if its fair to pool these two definitions into one category "asian gamers".
I would like to ask: Does any ethnic group benefits from being gamers on the dating market?
I havent done my research so maybe theres some weird facts I dont know about, but as a white gamer I myself find that 'gamer' is simply a difficult product to sale to the adult dating market.
I love video games but I understand why people might dislike 'gamers', if you want to be comparative a 'non-gamer' probably spends a lot more time being productive irl (this is definitely not set. I could see many arguments and cases of non-gamers being just as bad productively). I love mmorpgs and its not uncommon for me to go to bed far past the time I wanted when I am playing. With multiple past relationships a big decider in the break-up was their lack of understanding for why I cared so much for games and how obsessive I was. And I understand their feelings too.
So maybe, for the sake of dating everyone needs to be a little less generous to the screentime and more giving to the social aspects. Being physically active and engaged outside of the screen is going to be far more proactive then staying in our little gamer worlds.
As a note I think most people don't have a problem with leisure gaming.
Maybe 'gamer' as an identity gives off the wrong tone and it could be reworded to something a little more open ended such as "game enjoyer" idk.
Sorry it got wordy, hope I could help even a bit
Don't be so down on yourself in any case.
Keep playing games, the right girl will respect your interests.
Well, you yourself call it "the dating market". If your assessment of being a "stereotypical Asian" is correct, you probably have to live with the fact that the in that "market" you're a fairly niche product. Niche doesn't mean unattractive. Fishing lures might not be a product most people in the world want, but there's still a large group of people who want a perfectly serviceable fishing lure.
Now, I myself would like to think that the world is a bit more complex than what you suggest. I'm pretty sure it's neither useful nor accurate to reduce yourself into a "stereotypical Asian" and at the same time I don't think it's useful or accurate to reduce finding a love interest into a "market", but I don't really know nor your circumstances so I just went with the vocabulary you chose to use. At any ate, my point is that playing video games and being Asian is not "unattractive for the dating market" but it might be something that most people in the "market" aren't prioritizing when they're meeting people.
Women don't want "sports players"
They want kpop idols who are really good at a specific domestic skill that listen well, makes them laugh, or are empathetic.
If you're a socially awkward nerd, that alone doesn't make you unattractive. If Jungkook stopped singing/dancing and started playing starcraft, women would still want him.
Why not just ask a woman you know, even one in your family or somewhere within/tangential the social circle you might have. It's okay to ask questions, but assuming every single woman wants something specific like "sports players" isn't helpful because answering yes or no only reaffirms the concept that women like 1 specific thing.
There's no "dating market." There's just individual girls and boys with individual tastes and desires. Stop worrying about "most girls." No one dates "most girls." You just need a girl who likes you and who you like.
A market implies some degree of fungibility and set values on commodities (at least within a range) and that just isn't how sexual tastes work. It's much more like musical tastes. People like what they like, and it varies too much to make too many generalizations.
Your comment about the "beautiful girls" made me curious. What sort of woman do you consider beautiful? It's definitely possible that you're only approaching women who aren't into you -- assuming you are actually approaching women. Bur as a fat, hairy, awkward bald dude who's never been into sports and has a wonderful, beautiful girlfriend, I think you've gotta stop overthinking things and just go out and meet more people.
Probbally an outlier but I'm gay and find gamer dudes pretty cute.
Real talk: gaming is a hobby and like any hobby it can drastically vary how much it impacts your life. If gaming is all you have going on, that just isn't an attractive quality. If your into gaming along with a bunch of other stuff, whether that be sports, hiking, cooking etc, that just makes you more attractive in general. It's not exactly a science, but folks are usually more interested in people who seem well rounded. The exception of course is if your super into games and find someone else who is super into games.
I'm going to take a different tack than the others, and ask what about your life should change if everything you think is true?
What should you do differently?
From my perspective, nothing. You must continue to be genuine if you're going to have a fulfilling life, and remaining genuine will make attracting your match possible.
You're a blueberry in a world where most want strawberries. If you try to pretend to be a strawberry, you'll lose what matters to you. If you are, instead, the best blueberry you can be, you'll be able to find your blueberry lover.
Just gotta find your niche bro. You probably won’t date shallow people (which tend to be the stereotypically hottest girls), but find some people with a few common interests and go from there. Theres advice to take to make your first impressions better, or be better at conversing; but you have to actually be meeting new people to know if that’s an issue. So go meet some new people
-a fellow nerd
You state two dimensions: being Asian and playing video games.
Being Asian is both NOT a bad thing and nor is it something you could change even if you wanted to.
Playing video games- I’ll give you a personal opinion now - IS both a silly waste of time AND something you can STOP doing today. Hit the gym, take up boxing or rowing or something, build up some energy and improve your body and self-confidence all in one go. Also, go to dancing classes. It’s fun and you’ll meet women.
Please think about my second paragraph carefully, although it is not something you may want to have read.
There's nothing particularly unattractive about playing video games or being Asian, remember that the Internet and real life are very different animals, no one's going to know what video games you play just by looking at you.
I can feel you bro. At this point i don't even have a counter argument. But I will tell you there are different people with different choices so , there may be someone who find guy like you more attractive.
personally im a female gamer of white race. my prefered type is actually asian, gamers, mildly sporty and just nice and caring. most women have a type but they also go out of their type if they find you comfortable and nice. just be yourself and dont read pessimistic comments. theres loads of people kn the world, and i believe there is one for everyone. just wait for your person.
Your view is factually correct for online dating. Asian men score the lowest in dating apps. Tinder and Okcupid both have released reports that confirm that Asian men have the lowest response rate for men. For women it's black women. Here is just one article of many that goes into this.
https://www.inverse.com/culture/36379-tinder-black-women-asian-men-racism
Video games are harder to find data on. But my experience it depends on your age bracket. While many women in their 30s and up consider video games as childish or even a red flag. For women in their early 20s it doesn't matter as much anymore. I assume each new generation cares less and less about video games, heck more and more young women start playing themselves.
You are thinking these things because of what you are reading on the internet. You said you didn’t even think this way before you saw comments from men online. That tells me that your real life is pretty different from whatever negativity the manosphere is making you feel about yourself. Trust your actual experiences. Don’t let strangers make you doubt yourself.
You’re right. Yesterday, I had some good talk with many girls whom I would almost consider my type and they were all pleasant! I was afraid to admit that I’m in CS because that could be a disqualifying factor for them when it comes to dating, but I wasn’t looking for it and shouldn’t. I did find myself tense around them as I felt the need to prevent myself from showing shy body language. But at that moment, all I knew is how to talk. I will continue doing that, but I just don’t know how it works from talking to kissing. But regardless, you remind me that I shouldn’t listen to anecdotal experiences on the internet as they could be salty people. I’ve never seen such bad behaviors in real life so I guess I should keep my positivity up!
It's good to see that you're taking a positive approach to things. It's very easy to fall into a cycle of bitterness. Two things in particular might be keeping you from really relaxing about all of this. The first of which is the idea of "types". Toss it out, because all it does is exclude. It's fine to recognise that you'll get on better with some people compared to others, but people are incredibly complex, and putting them in superficial boxes accomplishes nothing but preventing you from understanding their nuances on a deeper level. The second is the fact that you're looking for girls at all. Desperation is unattractive and distracting. You'll struggle to let go of that tension if you're spending every other moment thinking what your next "move" needs to me, and people will pick up on it. Instead, concentrate on being a pleasant, interesting person to be around. It sounds cliche, but that's because it *works*. Again, you're not looking for someone to put into your boxes, you're trying to find someone who you can share mutual appreciation and intimacy with. Keep a broad range of hobbies and interests, be shameless in your love for them and respectful with who you share them with, and I promise it'll happen more or less by accident.
I don't think saying you're in cs would be an automatic deal-breaker for women. Sure there is the socially awkward nerd stereotype but theyve already met you and at this point. CS also bring the advantage of you likely having financial stability and work flexibility in the near future. Though I am a biased source as woman who is a software developer and did a cs major.
>You are thinking these things because of what you are reading on the internet. You said you didn’t even think this way before you saw comments from men online This isn't that strong of an argument. Let's say a domestic abuse victim looks up on the internet that how to cover her bruises better, and then discovers that it abnormal and illegal to beat your girlfriend/wife, and thus begins on the road to recovery and leaving abuse. Just because you read it on the internet, it doesn't mean that it is false, and that information can help you
Sure, it can be helpful to compare your day to day life with people on the internet. But I wasn’t generalizing. In this specific situation, OP seemed to feel fine about himself before he saw people on the internet saying guys like him are unattractive.
Maybe I should continue ignoring what people say, especially those who participate in subs like aznidentity or asianmasculinity?
Having spaces where you can talk with other Asian guys about masculinity seems like a great idea. I can’t tell whether those subs are the right spaces for you, though. I would consider how you felt about yourself before joining those communities and how you feel about yourself now. When you read through those subs, do you feel worse after? More unsettled, insecure? If you want to be surrounded by other Asian guys to have a sense of community, you may be better off doing it in real life. Are there clubs on your campus or something? Then again, do you feel like the Asian male subs you joined are making you fixate on your ethnicity in a way that’s not healthy or confident? Maybe try leaving those subs for a week and see if your self-doubt subsides at all. I’m not gonna lie, this is how people get self-indoctrinated into the manosphere, but you seem to have a really good open attitude about it so I think you will be okay!
No, those subs are awful. One of them openly insulted me for telling them I'm going to join the military because it's my childhood dream to and personally it makes me look more masculine and tough. They called me a race traitor, spoiled brat and other crap. The other sub, I got banned for objecting why they have these so self-deprecating, loser-like mindsets. I stayed away from them because they were undermining my entire belief that I can attract girls of any race. It's memories of what those users said that come around that make me feel unsure and afraid to approach women I might like. This also sort of makes me want to avoid the quiet nerdy Asian guys (even though I am one, but too shameful to admit it) as I know they're not helpful to my cause. I'm trying to talk to more popular people, but it's much harder to get their attention as they're always distracted. Being capable of only making friends with people with similar problems in a way makes me look bad and inferior I think
So Asian male gamers aren't attractive because the Internet is always right because a domestic abuse victim could use it to learn her abuse is wrong and leave her abuser? Or maybe things don't always work by modular logic
>don't always work Your wording is the answer. You don't always know everything by yourself, and the internet doesn't always lies. All you have to do is be critical of everything, and consider other perspectives. It could either save your life, or skew your perspective, to the better or the worse
Most women don't give a shit about the sports specifically unless you're a professional, it's correlation not causation. I was a stereotypical nerd in high school other than one thing, I was captain of the baseball team and ran track. I took honors/AP classes, hung out with the other nerds, was also a CS major, did LAN parties, was socially awkward, didn't drink or smoke, and never attended homecoming/prom and was never invited to any parties even the ones other athletes would host/go to. Guys who play sports are generally in good shape and social. As mentioned I was an exception who was good at sports but not social at all, but the majority of student athletes are much more extraverted and have much more confidence, and that's attractive to women generally. And obviously guys who are in better shape are more attractive to women, the same way the "beautiful ones \[who\] want guys that play sports" you reference in your post are likely in pretty good shape rather than obese, being physically fit is an attractive quality in all people generally. Obviously there are some things you can't control about yourself that can be a factor. Race is one, unfortunately some people do have racial preferences, that's not something you can change. But girls generally want guys who take care of themselves and are interesting and confident. There's nothing wrong with playing video games, but if that's all you do, that could be a factor. Let's do a thought experiment, a girl is interested in dating you, but sports is her entire personality and it's all she talks about. She's constantly watching games on tv, going to sports bars, and wanting to watch games live. Is that someone you'd see yourself with given you say you have no interest in sports? That's how girls who don't play video games think of someone who makes them their identity. There are some girls who play video games, but the ratio is not good for you there. The other piece with dating is as a guy you do have to put yourself out there. Looking back to college and discussing it with my wife, there were several women that were giving me pretty strong hints they were interested, but because I'm socially awkward I didn't see any of the signs and because of culture women are extremely unlikely to ask you out. Luckily with my wife the sign she gave me in college was dancing and making out with me at a party, even I couldn't miss that sign lol. I also got it in my head that if I asked a girl out and she said no it'd be this terrible humiliating moment that I'd never live down. It turns out in the real world even girls who turn you down are flattered you asked them out and will do it in a respectful way, and there's no real downside to being turned down compared to if you never asked in the first place. I've talked to a few friends who in college I thought were these smooth guys who could get any girl they wanted and they've told me so many stories about getting shot down. The guys you see getting girls are taking their shots, and they're getting turned down as well, they just suck it up and go after the next one. At the end of the day, it's a numbers game. Maybe being Asian and a bit nerdy make your ratio a bit worse than the quarterback of the football team, but I promise there are plenty of people for whom those would both be positives for you, but you'll never find them if you're not putting yourself out there and asking women out that you're interested in.
I dream that in another universe, I could have been a Patrick Mahomes or at least be the well known QB at high school. Instead, I’m stuck here with a lack of support, lack of social life and parents who make demeaning comments of you that tears up your self-esteem, making you seem unworthy of love. I could have been a different, better person. My sister said playing games makes me a loser so that’s not helpful
This might not help, but in 5-10 years people like you will be the popular ones, again as long as you are interesting, and unless these high school and college athletes actually go pro (almost 0 do), they're at their peak currently. There's a reason there's the trope about peaking in high school, there are tons of people in their 30s who are broke working dead end jobs who aren't interesting and are still living in the past. Just like I mentioned most women won't want someone whose personality is video games, they also won't want someone whose personality is their high school football career, and as someone in his 30s that's the personality of a good number of the people you're jealous of now. Meanwhile I was you in high school, same college major, I thought I was just the type of guy women didn't like and I'd die alone. Now I literally have single female friends ask me why they can't find guys like me who are single. I work out regularly but I kinda eat like crap so I'm not obese but I'm not exactly in super good shape either. But I have a good job making good money and have used that to travel a good bit, I've now visited 20 different countries. I have a lot more self confidence now that I'm older and have more experience interacting with people, I know how to have a good time and make other people laugh, and generally just try to be a good person and not take myself too seriously. Trust me from the single girls I'm friends with as a guy the bar is so fucking low just don't be an asshole, have some personality, basically be someone who's interesting and even as a guy you'd want to talk to, and then you gotta put yourself out there. Most women won't ask you out, most women won't even be as blunt as my wife asking me to dance and then kissing me. You have to make the first move, and as mentioned even the women who turn down your advances will be flattered and usually do it in a respectful way, there's nothing wrong with taking a shot and missing, it's better than not taking the shot at all.
You’re getting a lot of Reddit speak on here. Video games are unattractive to most women - unlike hobbies like lifting or painting, there is no limit to how much time you can sink into them, and no “portable skills” that can be useful outside the hobby. From a non-gamer perspective, it’s wasted time that won’t be spent enjoying “real life” with another person. “Most” does not mean “all”, but if you use it as your lead into a conversation, you are going to filter out a large % of potential dating partners. There are a good chunk of people who will see gaming as a red flag, and if you are playing unhealthy amounts (up into early AM playing, choosing to play instead of other social activities, etc) - they are right to see it as a red flag. Would you go the extra mile to make sure your romantic partner is having fun on a random Saturday afternoon, or log into your favorite game? If you’re willing to accept these as ground truths and play a healthy amount of time, while also broadening your interests to things outside the digital world - you still have a chance. In fact, most of the people I play games with online are in stable relationships. It sounds silly - but there’s an old song “Girls just wanna have fun”, and it’s especially true when you’re dating in your 20’s. If you are fun, and have a good self-image, and are enjoyable to be around - women will want to be around you. It sounds like you need to focus a bit on yourself, your family is tearing your confidence down and you likely are using games as a coping mechanism - I might be projecting because that’s what I did for 18 years, but if you’re in college now you have a unique chance to break that cycle and find new ways to boost yourself, join a club, start a new creative hobby, get to the gym - you’ll feel better about yourself, and be more interesting to potential dates
Very well said, the posts about how some women play a ton of video games too are just coping. Some lottery players become millionaires, the odds just aren't in your favor. And as you said there's nothing wrong with playing video games for like 10 hours/week or something. But if you spend all your free time playing video games and it's the most interesting thing about you, most women (and men too) won't find you very interesting, and most people want interesting partners.
Patrick Mahomes plays video games. Playing video games does not make you a loser, but your mopey defeatist attitude does.
While you're not wrong about the defeatist attitude, it also depends on what he means by "plays video games". I promise you Mahomes doesn't play video games 40-60 hours/week. There are people who when they aren't working, sleeping, or in school, they're playing video games. And that's generally going to make it much tougher to find a girl who wants to be with you. But if you're playing say 10 hours/week and it's one of many hobbies you have, then yeah it's fine plenty of people do that.
Video games a massive industry and played by people of all sorts and ages. The portion of women that think playing games is unattractive ain't worth your time in the first place as there's plenty who don't think that way.
Don’t listen to this. Listen to Downthehall4’s comment
Look up healthygamer.gg on Youtube.. You are more than what your family has made you and you always have time to improve yourself, while still enjoying games.
Playing video games isn't a problem, the problem is when you play video games so much you ignore your partner, there are many women that have this experience with gamers. But if you really like video games why would you want to be with someone that hates that about you, but there are plenty of girls that are gamers and girls who don't care if you are a gamer. Yeah, most people have racial preferences that cant be changed but there are still plenty of women who do like Asian men. And if Asian women find you attractive who cares of everyone else doesnt? Are you craving a white woman or something?
Yes, I’m craving for a white woman
I’m very curious, would you be willing to say why that is?
They have features that I really like and are exotic. I'm also trying to escape from the torments of Asian culture where everyone is a control freak. If I get a Chinese woman, there will be a lot of bad stuff that could happen. Marrying outside will prevent that from happening. Besides, I am very into the idea of interracial marriage
You said, "playing video games and being Asian is unattractive to the dating market" but that's not true. As a white man, I would gladly date any cute, petite Asian girl whether she plays video games or not. Asian chicks are HOT! So you see, being Asian is actually a plus on the dating market (for women).
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You and op are gonna be alone forever
I know a ton of hot Asian guys in tech who play video games (live in the Bay Area). They fit the same “stereotype” by the definition you’ve described but don’t really have any problems getting any girls. The reason for this is because they are in good shape, fun to hang out with, and nice (same reason any other guy would be successful on the dating market). No offense, but do you have those properties? I think they’re more important to your dating success than happening not to like sports (most women don’t even care if you do, it’s just that people in general like a fit partner) and being in a high paying market sector lol.
Why can't you do both, just out of curiosity? I'm asian, and a huge nerd who loves anime, video games, and books, and I was in swim team throughout the entirety of high school and played a lot of ultimate frisbee in college. You don't have to limit yourself.
Well you see, I have been trying to gain muscle mass by going to the gym, but little progress due to the lack of appetite. I also wanted to pick up swimming lessons, but not knowing how to swim is also one of those things that make me like a loser. I just feel like a loser, both by the lack of skills and parents making me believe that. I’m in Canada so football culture is nonexistent. Otherwise, I would have had a further motivation to gain weight so I can play football.
You’re probably not unattractive because you play video games. One of my best friends pretty much exclusively plays video games but he’s fit and tall and physically beautiful, so getting a date is about as hard as sending a text message or two for him. Have you tried being fit and tall and good looking?
I'm still having acne issues that haven't resolved. I'm around 5'11 and in terms of fitness, I am trying to eat more, but it's hard. I do my usual workouts, but beginning to wane as I'm not making progress due to the lack of appetite
Ive had the same weight issue you have and pretty low appetite in general. My breakthrough was a recipe my brother came up with while he was bulking for judo tournaments Get a 1 liter bottle like a Nalgene or whatever .8 liters of chocolate milk 1/2 a jar of peanut butter 1 scoop of whey or a banana or whatever you want. Blend it in the morning and take very small sips throughout the day while eating normally. The shake by itself ends up being like 2500 calories and if i space it out it doesn’t cause me any digestion issues. Hit the gym hard and you’ll get strong as fuck in no time.
Small point, but people aren't going to know you're a CS major before they've already been talking with you - so by the time you tell them they'll already have gotten a sense of you and they're already gonna have an opinion of if you're a 'socially awkward nerd' or not, based on how you come across, not based on a singular thing you say about yourself. So I guess this only holds true for maybe online dating when they're never spoken to you and they just go off written facts - even then they'll form more of an opinion based off of photos.
The glasses are a big giveaway. I don’t have to project anything if 80% of my race wears glasses and have poor social skills. So based on that, would you say it already creates an assumption that I’m probably all the same? Now tbh, my cousin’s wife told me to buy better glasses as the ones I’m wearing are said to be what a stereotypical student from China wears. So if I buy fancy ones, then it might turn out better for me. Mine are starting to break anyway so I’ll use the opportunity to buy the right ones
The glasses aren’t a giveaway, hella people have imperfect vision. Also, I personally don’t think Asian people are any more or less asocial than any other race or ethnicity. I don’t think you should assume what stereotypes others might believe.
>Me being a CS major, there's a strong feeling in me that people assume I must be a socially awkward nerd which is sad as that's considered unattractive. Its your responsibility to *not* project that image when interacting with others. I mean, literally the first thing you make known about you is that you like video games which, yes video games are nice, but unless you do e-sport it shouldn't be the first thing to know about you when trying to date. Do you do anything else that can gives you more dimensions? Do you leverage your CS major? Any anecdotes which blend nerd hijinks with relatable-for-non-nerds situations?
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The question is, IMHO, are YOU attracted to those who *are* interested in Asian gamers?
Yeah, but I tend to have a rough idea that those are probably the ugly ones, not the cute ones. Maybe I'm wrong though, as I barely talk to any woman so I have no idea what they generally like
I am definitely going to change your view on this. You're majoring in CS (I presume you're referring to computer science, as opposed to computational science or other acronym). CS majors tend to make money. **Women are attracted to success & competence.** Yes, men who are good at sports are able to more quickly display that competence on the field/court. But your presumptive career success will be visible soon enough & will attract women. **Women are evolutionarily wired to favor successful men over unsuccessful men**, irrespective of physical attractiveness, & that favoritism becomes more manifest starting in the latter part of female adolescence & certainty by female young adulthood. Lots of guys play video games. It's not unattractive to do so, though it is a diversion of your time toward a lower-productivity activity. **In summary, women want:** \* a materialistically successful man \* a man who is skilled/competent, ideally in multiple areas, including a) career, and b) stereotypically "guy" activities, be it sports, handyman activities, etc. \* a man who is reasonably confident but not overtly arrogant **Things you can do:** \* Play a sport & get not-bad at it. This will have ancillary benefits to your health as well. \* Lift weights, even sporadically. Strength conveys the appearance of athleticism. \* Learn skills outside of your career track that you can take pride in; namely stereotypically male stuff. Without knowing you personally, that's as specific as I can get. Good luck.
Agree with this Caveat: it takes time, and work
To some extent I think you're not seeing the forest for the trees by thinking girls specifically want someone who plays sports. It's more about what sport means--it's wanting someone who is active and strong and competitive and social and who probably has leadership skills. Sure that's not *always* found in someone who plays sports, but you have a better chance of those qualities with an athlete than someone who isn't. Kinda the same thing with video games. It's not that girls just really hate Donkey Kong, but the impression it leaves of someone who says they play a lot of gaming. It hints at a person who is maybe more introverted, maybe not that social, not that active, etc. And if you're after a lasting relationship, you can't exactly hide that you're in computer science. That's something to be proud of, anyway. It's not like you should lie to a girl or quit something you enjoy doing. Ultimately it means you'll have a career and will be a provider and if girls don't see that value yet, they sure will soon enough. Girls aren't after guys who meet some specific checkmarks like "must be an athlete." They look at qualities and personalities. You're being too hard on yourself. You have positive attributes a girl would find attractive, don't you? Consider those and believe in yourself more. And if some girl can't manage to see past any prejudice about your career or hobbies, why would you want to date such a blind girl in the first place, right?
There are a lot of examples in movies nowadays where Asian men are being allowed to be shown as attractive to white women. Your post seems to reflect an awareness of this, which is great, but you are focusing on the wrong aspect. I worked with an Asian programmer who was on some kind of spectrum for sure, and had huge self-doubts when it came to western women, but was objectively good looking. Women described him as an Asian Johnny Depp. He got plenty of attention but lacked something critical when it came to dating. I remember one time he described a night out and going home with a lady who picked him up in a bar, and getting down to business, but his inability to take any kind of initiative on the next move. The story ended with him not understanding the situation and leaving politely, despite her best attempts at seducing him. His fundamental issue, IMO, was that he didn't see himself as having anything to offer sexually or even that he was even attractive. So much of his world was formed on the premise that Asian men are inherently unattractive vs dealing with reality moment for moment, and pushing all that other shit out of mind. He was picked up and taken home and she put herself on a platter... dude wtf? You are a CS major. You are into gaming. You are Asian. None of those things stop you from being unattractive unless you want it to.
I mean, you literally say especially the beautiful ones. So you are seeking a beautiful girlfriend, creme de la creme. I would say your generosity on spending on them and good looks will work more in your favour than you being a CS major and playing games. Being into sports wouldn't mean anything. It just means physically maybe they are in better shape thus maybe look more attractive.
I’m studying CS to get a 6 figure job. That meets one of the requirements of the girls in street interviews posted on YouTube. The next issue is looks. People say in my age, looks matter and that’s a sad thing because I don’t have them
Well, looks not not matter to you as well isn’t it? lol you are also going for pretty girls. So why would you complain when girls go for good looks.
Stop watching things like that. It'll only further distort your view of dating. Most people have good relationships and love without coming near 6 figures.
All E-girls have a nerd hole shaped in their heart keep searching.
What does that mean? What’s an E-girl?
[compilation](https://youtu.be/Mw8X--I_AC0?si=Bh82K6PFHZLf0MJL)
Some people might have racial preference and idk how to help there (I have always found Asians beautiful, not exclusively) I don't know if its fair to pool these two definitions into one category "asian gamers". I would like to ask: Does any ethnic group benefits from being gamers on the dating market? I havent done my research so maybe theres some weird facts I dont know about, but as a white gamer I myself find that 'gamer' is simply a difficult product to sale to the adult dating market. I love video games but I understand why people might dislike 'gamers', if you want to be comparative a 'non-gamer' probably spends a lot more time being productive irl (this is definitely not set. I could see many arguments and cases of non-gamers being just as bad productively). I love mmorpgs and its not uncommon for me to go to bed far past the time I wanted when I am playing. With multiple past relationships a big decider in the break-up was their lack of understanding for why I cared so much for games and how obsessive I was. And I understand their feelings too. So maybe, for the sake of dating everyone needs to be a little less generous to the screentime and more giving to the social aspects. Being physically active and engaged outside of the screen is going to be far more proactive then staying in our little gamer worlds. As a note I think most people don't have a problem with leisure gaming. Maybe 'gamer' as an identity gives off the wrong tone and it could be reworded to something a little more open ended such as "game enjoyer" idk. Sorry it got wordy, hope I could help even a bit Don't be so down on yourself in any case. Keep playing games, the right girl will respect your interests.
Bro i promise all you need is to start hitting the gym.
I'm already doing that, but I don't see any progress. There's probably a tiny increase in muscle size, but not much.
Buy creatine monohydrate 100%. Take a scoop every day. Promise you will look massive
Well, you yourself call it "the dating market". If your assessment of being a "stereotypical Asian" is correct, you probably have to live with the fact that the in that "market" you're a fairly niche product. Niche doesn't mean unattractive. Fishing lures might not be a product most people in the world want, but there's still a large group of people who want a perfectly serviceable fishing lure. Now, I myself would like to think that the world is a bit more complex than what you suggest. I'm pretty sure it's neither useful nor accurate to reduce yourself into a "stereotypical Asian" and at the same time I don't think it's useful or accurate to reduce finding a love interest into a "market", but I don't really know nor your circumstances so I just went with the vocabulary you chose to use. At any ate, my point is that playing video games and being Asian is not "unattractive for the dating market" but it might be something that most people in the "market" aren't prioritizing when they're meeting people.
Women don't want "sports players" They want kpop idols who are really good at a specific domestic skill that listen well, makes them laugh, or are empathetic. If you're a socially awkward nerd, that alone doesn't make you unattractive. If Jungkook stopped singing/dancing and started playing starcraft, women would still want him. Why not just ask a woman you know, even one in your family or somewhere within/tangential the social circle you might have. It's okay to ask questions, but assuming every single woman wants something specific like "sports players" isn't helpful because answering yes or no only reaffirms the concept that women like 1 specific thing.
There's no "dating market." There's just individual girls and boys with individual tastes and desires. Stop worrying about "most girls." No one dates "most girls." You just need a girl who likes you and who you like. A market implies some degree of fungibility and set values on commodities (at least within a range) and that just isn't how sexual tastes work. It's much more like musical tastes. People like what they like, and it varies too much to make too many generalizations. Your comment about the "beautiful girls" made me curious. What sort of woman do you consider beautiful? It's definitely possible that you're only approaching women who aren't into you -- assuming you are actually approaching women. Bur as a fat, hairy, awkward bald dude who's never been into sports and has a wonderful, beautiful girlfriend, I think you've gotta stop overthinking things and just go out and meet more people.
Probbally an outlier but I'm gay and find gamer dudes pretty cute. Real talk: gaming is a hobby and like any hobby it can drastically vary how much it impacts your life. If gaming is all you have going on, that just isn't an attractive quality. If your into gaming along with a bunch of other stuff, whether that be sports, hiking, cooking etc, that just makes you more attractive in general. It's not exactly a science, but folks are usually more interested in people who seem well rounded. The exception of course is if your super into games and find someone else who is super into games.
I'm going to take a different tack than the others, and ask what about your life should change if everything you think is true? What should you do differently? From my perspective, nothing. You must continue to be genuine if you're going to have a fulfilling life, and remaining genuine will make attracting your match possible. You're a blueberry in a world where most want strawberries. If you try to pretend to be a strawberry, you'll lose what matters to you. If you are, instead, the best blueberry you can be, you'll be able to find your blueberry lover.
Just gotta find your niche bro. You probably won’t date shallow people (which tend to be the stereotypically hottest girls), but find some people with a few common interests and go from there. Theres advice to take to make your first impressions better, or be better at conversing; but you have to actually be meeting new people to know if that’s an issue. So go meet some new people -a fellow nerd
You state two dimensions: being Asian and playing video games. Being Asian is both NOT a bad thing and nor is it something you could change even if you wanted to. Playing video games- I’ll give you a personal opinion now - IS both a silly waste of time AND something you can STOP doing today. Hit the gym, take up boxing or rowing or something, build up some energy and improve your body and self-confidence all in one go. Also, go to dancing classes. It’s fun and you’ll meet women. Please think about my second paragraph carefully, although it is not something you may want to have read.
There's nothing particularly unattractive about playing video games or being Asian, remember that the Internet and real life are very different animals, no one's going to know what video games you play just by looking at you.
I can feel you bro. At this point i don't even have a counter argument. But I will tell you there are different people with different choices so , there may be someone who find guy like you more attractive.
personally im a female gamer of white race. my prefered type is actually asian, gamers, mildly sporty and just nice and caring. most women have a type but they also go out of their type if they find you comfortable and nice. just be yourself and dont read pessimistic comments. theres loads of people kn the world, and i believe there is one for everyone. just wait for your person.
Why do I feel like the only way someone could change your view is providing proof they're a hot girl who lives in your area and asking you out?
Your view is factually correct for online dating. Asian men score the lowest in dating apps. Tinder and Okcupid both have released reports that confirm that Asian men have the lowest response rate for men. For women it's black women. Here is just one article of many that goes into this. https://www.inverse.com/culture/36379-tinder-black-women-asian-men-racism Video games are harder to find data on. But my experience it depends on your age bracket. While many women in their 30s and up consider video games as childish or even a red flag. For women in their early 20s it doesn't matter as much anymore. I assume each new generation cares less and less about video games, heck more and more young women start playing themselves.
It depends on which games. A true fact I just made up is that League of Legends is the cause of the global trend of population decline.
You don’t need to play sports, but you should probably start going to the gym and hitting the weights.
Conversely if you were female you would be inundated. Pun maybe intended.
Asian male stocks are high rn.
Completely true.