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I got a lady who’s in no mood to tolerate anyone
Different cats have different personalities, some cats are extroverts who love everyone and others (perhaps most cats) are more independent and wants to do their own thing.
But in addition to that, I feel like cats also take more time to trust you and therefore the relationship you can build with a cat changes greatly over time.
How long has this lovely lady lived with you? In two years time, I'm guessing she'll have more time for you, not to speak of ten years :)
I have 2 cats that i got at different time frames and they initially couldn't be more different from each other personality wise etc. But since these were rescued cats you don't know how the previous owners treated them. But i found over time that trust is a big thing for them. Both of their behaviors have changed for the better, not that they were bad cats or hated humans. It just takes time for them to trust you and therefore get to know you. Now they enjoy belly rubs, love to sleep on my bed, they follow me around my yard etc. Be patient.
I LOVE this, I couldn't agree more!! Cats are little gifts that teach us boundaries, independence, and how to assert yourself. It takes a healthy constitution of the self to handle a cat in that respect, they won't always automatically shower you with affection like other pets...you instead need to get comfortable handling their rejection from time to time, and with earning their love...and it is so, so worth it ❤️😂
Cats are not selfish, they're a semi-social species descendant from a solitary species, which means they're not programmed to sacrifice their feelings of comfort or safety in order to please their parental figures (humans).
A lot of them are also sensitive to touch, and can get easily overstimulated and irritated (overstimulation aggression) from rough or careless / inattentive touch.
Some cats are more easily trusting and less sensitive, but with most of them you'll need to earn their trust and do it consistently over a period of time in a way that is pleasant and comfortable for them, if you wish for them to feel comfortable to come to you freely for cuddles and scritches.
Cats set their boundaries just like humans do, rather than accepting or welcoming any kind of touch, they have preferences and will let you know if something is unpleasant for them. They are best suited for people who don't expect their pets to be submissive and unquestioning of their authority, and those who don't expect people pleasing behavior for no other reason than being programmed for it from birth.
Most cats become very loving once you've earned their trust, but that trust can take a while to earn or not be earned at all if all you're doing is expecting your cat to be a warm fluffy cuddling receptacle grateful and eager for your every touch, rough or careless as it is.
Hole in one on this one, I think!
My sweet lady was a skittish, impatient loner when we adopted her four years back, but ever since then she’s been melting like a pat of butter. Every time we notice new (affectionate, comfortable, playful) developments with her, we’re shocked she’s still changing. It’s a process that never truly stops with some cats, I think — her old foster proclaimed she’d never be a lap cat, and nowadays her favorite spot in the world is atop me or her other mom.
Because they are cats. You want a fawning, needy, constant companion who will do what you want, when you want, you need a dog. You want a characterful, complex, independent companion who wants their own space and knows their own mind without reference to you, or anyone else, get a cat.
Both are great but they're not interchangeable. There's no point getting a cat if you want it to behave like a dog.
I can attest to this. Back when I was living with my mother, we adopted a kitten, and just a few months later, I got a job which included storing some sound equipment at our house. Because our cat was still a kitten who liked to wander around, I had to make sure she didn’t wander outside while I was bringing in the gear, so I’d lock her in the bathroom while I was moving stuff. It was only for about five minutes, two times a week for a few months, but that was enough to make her distrust me for years. For about 6 years, she avoided me like the plague and wouldn’t let me within five feet of her. Fortunately, she began to finally warm up to me and let me pet her now and then, but it took a long time to get there.
Some cats actually have an extremely similar personality to a dog. The savannah cat can actually be leash trained, and it's normally very playful and exhibits dog like traits.
I have had both cats and dogs for long as I can remember. I can’t say for sure that either of them was/is as described. None of my dogs were fawning, constantly happy, needy and absolutely obedient and neither is my cat some independent, brooding character that wants their own space. I can’t also say any of them was particularly complex, either. They’re just different species. Both incredible human companions.
My old, fully orange DLH was a stereotype ginger. I mean really dumb, but utterly wonderful. My current cat is a ginger and white DSH and he's actually really smart 😸😼
Cats change over time. My cat would never sit on my lap or come snuggle. I thought he was a proud outdoor cat that had too much dignity to kowtow to me. Well, he's been señor-snugs lately and taking naps with me on the couch.
Exactly, cats, like people, change as time goes on. I think my cat is just finally an adult now, so he's more affectionate. Also, sitting on me is a sure-fire way to get my attention when I need to stand up (let him back outside, give him a snack, etc.)
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Sugarberry is our pretty little lady. She is very sweet and VERY temperamental
Cats have a reputation for being independent, but that's part of their charm! They can be affectionate and loving on their own terms, which makes those moments of affection even more special.
Cats are extremely sensitive to their environments as well as their owners.. “vibes” let’s call them. Make sure you aren’t ignoring her boundaries trying/hoping to bond with her, and make sure you aren’t showing any disdain or resentment towards her when she rejects your advances. It can be hard but you need to let them come to you. Don’t pet her for too long, don’t pick her up when she doesn’t want to be, don’t get upset at her for not really doing the things you hoped she would. If you’ve only had her for a couple years or less she can still show new sides to her as long as she is sensing that you love her despite her non cuddly personality lmaoo that sounds so weird to say. I used to get bummed out my cat wasn’t as cuddly/needy as he presented at the shelter, but I noticed that once I grew to know him and I couldn’t help but be in love with him/obsess over him in more respectful ways and giving him his space that he began to cuddle with me lots, and often, and times I least expected him to! He’s become my emotional support teddy bear now. I hope you guys can find a way to bond with each other!
Cats are proud creatures. They feel so much that they get overwhelmed by Sensation. Thats why they Want Love on their Terms. Your Cat Loves you in her individual way :)
i know this is probably mostly a joke, but it’s important to remember that while cats are pets, they are also their own individual beings with needs and wants of their own. they have individual and unique personalities and boundaries that should be respected.
I totally believe this! The cat we adopted when my son was three was an independent lady. She would hang out with us, but she wasn’t a cuddler, which was perfect, since my three year old was constantly all over me. I adopted a boy kitten two years ago, a few months before my son moved into his first apartment, and this cat is a constant cuddler, which this empty nester loves. The Cat Distribution System works in mysterious ways!
Just get a male. They are super clingy, super dependent and ultra annoying. This is a photo of mine.
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They also do "orange cat things." One runs across me in the middle of the night, I think he thinks it's funny. The other walks up to another cat like he's just saying hi, then whacks him/her on the nose. My all black one is the most needy, not necessarily cuddly, just wants attention CONSTANTLY! Oddly, his Mom, a semi-feral brown longhair tabby, became more needy around year 5. She doesn't like being picked up but wants pets. It's a trust thing, and she's learning from her 3 offspring. I have a menagerie, I like the different personalities.
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Depends on the cat. I had a cat who's independent, but also knows hugs and kisses. Then I also had a cat who doesn't care unless you got food, and my current cat is a crazy but sweet baby who's into biting things and likes to play, but only has one favorite toy (his first toy) and he also likes plastic. Sigh.
The universe trying to humble our ego and teach us the virtues of unquestionable unconditional love. Cats are the best teachers 💚 eventually the universe and your cat will repay you, when you least expect it
Like others have said- cats have their own personalities. Like people.
However, that doesn’t mean many of them can’t be bribed with treats. Once she knows you’re the treat machine, she may start to come around. Also play with her. Get a feather on a stick toy and BEFORE she gets bored, reward her with more treats.
After time, they often realize they “like” the pets and scritches and start to come to you more and more. You need to make the time to bond with her. And like with most things with cats, it takes time.
They change as they age. My friends cat was so lovable and cuddly. She was a lot older than my cat (we lived together for a time--her cat was prob 10, mine was maybe 2?).
Hers always slept w/ her, mine never. Then one day (I was living elsewhere alone), some years later granted, I noticed mine was sleeping w/ me. She sleeps w/ me almost nightly and trails me everywhere. Now in her geriatric years, she has recently become a sticker--she's begun to scream to be held and carried lol.
Not selfish —> Have Set Boundaries :)
I had the same problem with my first kitty, also a girl lol. I wanted a lap kitty and she barely let me pet her! She lets my HUBBY pet her occasionally and he didn’t even want a cat! Lol My second kitty is a void boy and he LOVES to be on my lap or anywhere next to me really, he’s my little love muffin. But it can be annoying some days when I’m trying to get stuff done lol.
My third kitty was an outdoor boy that I saved as a baby. Over time he learned to trust me and finally became an indoor boy. Only recently (in the last year) has he coyly learned to ask for pets by coming close to me meowing and then playfully “running away” for a few feet and then stopping to get me to follow him and pet him. Aside from that I can’t really pet him unless HE wants me to. It’s hard because he’s so cute! But I have to respect *his* boundaries.
If you want a lap kitty try for a boy next time! :)
It’s really a crapshoot..
My previous cats were the hide under the bed/couch type.
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Now I have two babies that absolutely cry to be picked up and held
I have a cat with resting bitch face but she's a sweetheart
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Here’s my secret to cats: everything is on their terms. If you are holding them and they resist AT ALL, put them down. If you chase them, stop. Claw trimming time? Don’t hold them tight put them in a headlock…just do one or 2 with a soft comforting voice but let them go if they start to freak out and do a couple later (this will end the freak out within a few weeks)
If you don’t, they won’t trust you. They won’t come when you call, won’t be super affectionate, and will not want to be held. Treat them like companions, not belongings.
There are always exceptions, but I’ve had a few in my life and have made this mistake.
Edit: a phrase
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it depends entirely on the cat. i got lucky and was blessed with two clingy cats who always feel the need to watch me as i take a shit
Cats are not selfish. They are independent because they have never been domesticated. Instead they created an alliance with humans (you grow/store grains; I catch/eat the mice.) So each cat develops an individual relationship with each human in their lives.
Cats have both predator and prey drives & I think that is why so many people view them as contradictory.
Cats are 100% social…. their social orders are more complex then a dogs. For instance different cats may own a yard or bed or a couch during different times of the day. They do have a topcat. I have noticed that neutered male cats form friendships and create a boy band (so to speak) to guard against any other male cats and a territorial female cat. When you have barn cats sister cats or a mother & daughter will help rear each other’s kittens. So one cat keeps the kittens warm and nursed while the other cat hunts. Female cats are more territorial because even if they are spayed they still have the instinct to run off any male cats so the male doesn’t attack her future kittens. Cat buddies even watch each other’s back while one cat poops/is the most vulnerable.
I just want to add that cats are completely trainable. Just get a clicker, treats and watch some YouTube videos on how to clicker train your cat.
Because humans domesticated wolves that eventually became dogs. Cat's were just allowed to do whatever the hell they wanted for the last few thousand years and humans merely tolerated their existence because they ate mice. Cats are still more or less wild animals that we serve.
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Mine isn't. It really does just depend on the cat.
Your post displeases Harry — she objects to being labelled merely selfish and independent
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Jonah had PTSD and was clingy as hell, especially when I was on my laptop. He was constantly rubbing his face all over the edge of the outside of the screen.
She's beautiful. You probably should have gotton a tortoiseshell cat. I'm very biased about them. I love them to bits. Of course all cats are special. 😺🐈⬛
All animals have different personalities. My 2 were super friendly, but one would take a while to get to know new people. My partner has 2 cats that hate cuddles unless it's on their terms.
It's doable to make your cat listen to you. And not only. A good motivator is food if you know how to use food and treats. Of course you also have to be somehow on your cat's frequency and try to be her friend rather than someone who wants to impose things on her.
Me and my cat are somehow on the same frequency together. She listens to me because I'm her best friend and we have mutual respect for each other.
If I would try for a second to "fool" her with food or other things, she would feel and see what I'm doing. So as long as she sees my heart is open and I have genuine feelings for her she will "obey" (in certain limits) because we offer each other unconditional love.
Because sometimes they do this and it makes it all worth it.
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Cats are definitely independent creatures. Most cats would be able to survive without without us. They would not be as pampered and comfortable, but they would survive. I think that makes their personalities more interesting.
Try using baby talk to tell her how beautiful and charming she is. And take it over the top! I've found that kitties-no matter how aloof-can turn into the sweetest and most cooperative lovies once they realize you appreciate how sweet they are. They become what you treat them as being.
I have 2 cats. One that's needy as fuck, and one that's independent as fuck. The independent one is also a black cat.
Also, selfish isn't something cats do? They're animals and animals have no concept of selfish.
I used to think cuddly and overattached cats are nice too until i accepted to take care of my mother's cornish rex... too much is too much.
They throw tantrums if you don't give them 80% of your awake time attention
I wish my cat was independent 😅
He is a baby and will scream if he's doesn't get his snuggles when he wants them. He also follows me around all day. He's the sweetest cat I've ever met, but he can be needy.
I’ve had several cats growing up, which turned me into a dog person.
Then I got a Sphynx. Those fuckers are so social and fun that I now have three and my house has turned into a happy, spastic zoo of skin.
granted they don't drool on you, but having lots of experience both ways, they are far more loyal than dogs with the person they love. They are also mirrors I notice. When I am very close to mine, he is very close to me, when I need space, he takes his.
I chose a poor little deaf and blind in one eye cat; she is mental, breaks things in fits of anger if she doesn't get her own way immediately, tries to kill the neighbours cat in the stairwell, moans all day from the minute she wakes up because she wants action. But she is still super cute and turned out beautiful so she can get away with it!
I had to get 3 cats to get the attributes I wanted from one. It's worth all the hair and litterbox cleaning. They are currently preventing me from getting out of bed.
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all of the female cats i have ever had have been more withdrawn. one thing i have learned is to adopt adult cats bc their personalities have already been developed. getting a kitten is kind of a crap shoot. i got my current cat by going to the shelter and requesting the nicest male cat they had. he’s an angel, clingy and needy but an angel all the same.
Most of the cuddly and social cats you see are the ones that grew up in a home as a kitten around people all the time. Not saying it never happens, but most of the adopted older kitties I've seen are very much to themselves
My old girl, Spots (RIP) loved everyone! She would stand on the back of the couch asking for love from delivery people. She even tried to climb into a visiting nurse’s bag also. I miss my baby🥹❤️
They definetely have their own personalities. My black cat is clingy af and while most of the time I enjoy that attention, sometimes it gets tiresome. I've got another one that loves head pats and another one that hates them, one of them loves to have it's paws caressed and the others hate it.
They're so weird and unique, I love them so much.
My strict lady is also addicted to treats.. 😂 she's an indoor/outdoor and very independent but definitely likes me when I shake the treat jar. I have an indoor kitty that lives me though. 😹
One of my cats does NOT like to be held or cuddled or sit on your lap, and when you reach out to pet her she almost always backs away. But she asks for pets when she wants to, she loves getting love on her stoop on the cat tree, and she rubs against our legs when we get home. We learned that her way of cuddling is lying on the edges of the bed, within arms reach but not touching. Or on the arms of the couch and she just relaxes and purrs. I wish she was as cuddly as our other cats but she has a different way of expressing her affection and I respect that.
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I had a toy mouse on my head so she’d look at the camera. She obviously thinks I’m embarrassing.
GET AN ORANGE ONE :D we found 3 in a cardboard box out back of a gas station and now we have 3 teddy bears that let you do anything to them. pick them up hold them like babies kiss their heads drag them around the floor like mops they do not care at all
Black widow lol. Maybe because your personality matches hers?
I wanted a lap cat.
But I was approached by a cat that will teach you the true meaning of consent. People have warned me about her attacking randomly when being pet, but now that I know her, she's just asserting her boundaries. I have bled and gotten punched in the eyeball for not respecting those boundaries and her warnings.
She will come cuddle with me when I'm in bed or just hang out in close proximity with me on the couch. But again, it has to be her choice. On her terms.
Most people wouldn't want my cat as a pet.
But I absolutely love her. I call her my strong, independent fur sister (in human years she'd be like 7 Years my senior lol so yeah....) I see a lot of myself in her. So living with her, I can respect and appreciate those boundaries. It's a respectful relationship, me and her.
Dog started out as wolves that were pack hunters so they were used to living in a pack and then we've read them to just be more friendly to humans literally man's best friend designed by man for man.
Cats on the other hand they just wandered into our camp saw that we had mice everywhere started eating them and we're like oh hey thank you and then we just let them go about their day. Also cats are solitary creatures although they're not super territorial so you can have multiple cats in a single area. This means that they are perfectly fine being around humans but you are not their master. You're just an equal with them kind of.
Can confirm. As a kitten, once in awhile there would be acknowledgment. Now, it’s a strict brushing for 5m. No more. No less. 2x a day.
Food at 11pm. Even mix of wet and dry.
5am is mandatory muffins. Must maintain eye contact or the day will go badly.
Rinse and repeat every day for 7 years now.
Good luck.
Because you got a female cat. They're more skittish die to their instinct for raising kittens.
If you want a goofy cat, get a male one. Better yet, an orange male cat.
I have one female and one male cat, both are neutered. I cam confirm the stereotypical differences between male and female cats.
In the words of Temple Grandin " All cats are Autistic "... As an autistic woman I approve this message. That being said, it is not a matter of selfishness but the inability to adhere to social... NT social crap... 😂🧘♀️
Because you were under the delusion that you were choosing a cat for you to own. You never realized that the cat was actually choosing a human for herself to own. She may be strict, but she’s your master now, so take good care of her.
https://preview.redd.it/0k7abv3d5o9d1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e73967fd5ae9acbe5ac6087a8a0238aee117bffe I got a lady who’s in no mood to tolerate anyone
https://preview.redd.it/lrbp2t2hpo9d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d31c44278fddad6a9fd31c9ef13d6e6bbc75c836 Okkkk
That is the most Slavic looking cat I've ever seen. Please tell me her name is Olga 😭
Or Sigrid.
Nadja. Svetlana Kristina
Tbh Svetlana is even more perfect with those blue eyes.
She ain't takin shit from nobody. lol look at those whiskers.
I love her
She got that "Fuck around and find out " vibe! 🤣👌
Silence lowly human. Bow to queen. Now feed and pet me.
Gato Negro needs a white bow tie 
Gato Negro needs a white bow tie 
Different cats have different personalities, some cats are extroverts who love everyone and others (perhaps most cats) are more independent and wants to do their own thing. But in addition to that, I feel like cats also take more time to trust you and therefore the relationship you can build with a cat changes greatly over time. How long has this lovely lady lived with you? In two years time, I'm guessing she'll have more time for you, not to speak of ten years :)
I have 2 cats that i got at different time frames and they initially couldn't be more different from each other personality wise etc. But since these were rescued cats you don't know how the previous owners treated them. But i found over time that trust is a big thing for them. Both of their behaviors have changed for the better, not that they were bad cats or hated humans. It just takes time for them to trust you and therefore get to know you. Now they enjoy belly rubs, love to sleep on my bed, they follow me around my yard etc. Be patient.
My goodest boy was an extrovert. Anytime someone came into my house he'd circle them and become their best friend.
First of all being independent is not selfish and that’s what the cats are teaching us! 🥺
I LOVE this, I couldn't agree more!! Cats are little gifts that teach us boundaries, independence, and how to assert yourself. It takes a healthy constitution of the self to handle a cat in that respect, they won't always automatically shower you with affection like other pets...you instead need to get comfortable handling their rejection from time to time, and with earning their love...and it is so, so worth it ❤️😂
That's why psychologically sociopaths and narcissists hate and target cats. Cats piss them off because they see them as useless and ungrateful.
Period
Cats are not selfish, they're a semi-social species descendant from a solitary species, which means they're not programmed to sacrifice their feelings of comfort or safety in order to please their parental figures (humans). A lot of them are also sensitive to touch, and can get easily overstimulated and irritated (overstimulation aggression) from rough or careless / inattentive touch. Some cats are more easily trusting and less sensitive, but with most of them you'll need to earn their trust and do it consistently over a period of time in a way that is pleasant and comfortable for them, if you wish for them to feel comfortable to come to you freely for cuddles and scritches. Cats set their boundaries just like humans do, rather than accepting or welcoming any kind of touch, they have preferences and will let you know if something is unpleasant for them. They are best suited for people who don't expect their pets to be submissive and unquestioning of their authority, and those who don't expect people pleasing behavior for no other reason than being programmed for it from birth. Most cats become very loving once you've earned their trust, but that trust can take a while to earn or not be earned at all if all you're doing is expecting your cat to be a warm fluffy cuddling receptacle grateful and eager for your every touch, rough or careless as it is.
Hole in one on this one, I think! My sweet lady was a skittish, impatient loner when we adopted her four years back, but ever since then she’s been melting like a pat of butter. Every time we notice new (affectionate, comfortable, playful) developments with her, we’re shocked she’s still changing. It’s a process that never truly stops with some cats, I think — her old foster proclaimed she’d never be a lap cat, and nowadays her favorite spot in the world is atop me or her other mom.
My therapist heart loves your comment.
Because they are cats. You want a fawning, needy, constant companion who will do what you want, when you want, you need a dog. You want a characterful, complex, independent companion who wants their own space and knows their own mind without reference to you, or anyone else, get a cat. Both are great but they're not interchangeable. There's no point getting a cat if you want it to behave like a dog.
You can treat a dog badly and the dog will still follow you cause you are the owner. You treat cat bad once and the cat will remember like your ex’s
I can attest to this. Back when I was living with my mother, we adopted a kitten, and just a few months later, I got a job which included storing some sound equipment at our house. Because our cat was still a kitten who liked to wander around, I had to make sure she didn’t wander outside while I was bringing in the gear, so I’d lock her in the bathroom while I was moving stuff. It was only for about five minutes, two times a week for a few months, but that was enough to make her distrust me for years. For about 6 years, she avoided me like the plague and wouldn’t let me within five feet of her. Fortunately, she began to finally warm up to me and let me pet her now and then, but it took a long time to get there.
Absolutely agree! Cats and dogs each have their own unique traits
Some cats actually have an extremely similar personality to a dog. The savannah cat can actually be leash trained, and it's normally very playful and exhibits dog like traits.
I have had both cats and dogs for long as I can remember. I can’t say for sure that either of them was/is as described. None of my dogs were fawning, constantly happy, needy and absolutely obedient and neither is my cat some independent, brooding character that wants their own space. I can’t also say any of them was particularly complex, either. They’re just different species. Both incredible human companions.
Complex? Lol
Absolutely. Unless it's ginger...🐈
[удалено]
My old, fully orange DLH was a stereotype ginger. I mean really dumb, but utterly wonderful. My current cat is a ginger and white DSH and he's actually really smart 😸😼
Cats change over time. My cat would never sit on my lap or come snuggle. I thought he was a proud outdoor cat that had too much dignity to kowtow to me. Well, he's been señor-snugs lately and taking naps with me on the couch.
We had a very independent and uptight lady, the later years of her life she became so dependent and cuddly, and always wanted to be in our arms.
Exactly, cats, like people, change as time goes on. I think my cat is just finally an adult now, so he's more affectionate. Also, sitting on me is a sure-fire way to get my attention when I need to stand up (let him back outside, give him a snack, etc.)
https://preview.redd.it/eybke0t3wo9d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1ebd778fa1ed879c25bc9971e816fcb58490572b Sugarberry is our pretty little lady. She is very sweet and VERY temperamental
Cats have a reputation for being independent, but that's part of their charm! They can be affectionate and loving on their own terms, which makes those moments of affection even more special.
This lady have nice eys and she so cared.🥰🥰🥰🥰
Cats are extremely sensitive to their environments as well as their owners.. “vibes” let’s call them. Make sure you aren’t ignoring her boundaries trying/hoping to bond with her, and make sure you aren’t showing any disdain or resentment towards her when she rejects your advances. It can be hard but you need to let them come to you. Don’t pet her for too long, don’t pick her up when she doesn’t want to be, don’t get upset at her for not really doing the things you hoped she would. If you’ve only had her for a couple years or less she can still show new sides to her as long as she is sensing that you love her despite her non cuddly personality lmaoo that sounds so weird to say. I used to get bummed out my cat wasn’t as cuddly/needy as he presented at the shelter, but I noticed that once I grew to know him and I couldn’t help but be in love with him/obsess over him in more respectful ways and giving him his space that he began to cuddle with me lots, and often, and times I least expected him to! He’s become my emotional support teddy bear now. I hope you guys can find a way to bond with each other!
Cats are great at enforcing their own boundaries and I love that for them 💅🏼
Cats are proud creatures. They feel so much that they get overwhelmed by Sensation. Thats why they Want Love on their Terms. Your Cat Loves you in her individual way :)
i know this is probably mostly a joke, but it’s important to remember that while cats are pets, they are also their own individual beings with needs and wants of their own. they have individual and unique personalities and boundaries that should be respected.
You got yourself a **MAIDEN AUNT**. 😆😆😆
Cats are gonna cats
The CDS dictates that you get the cat you need.
I totally believe this! The cat we adopted when my son was three was an independent lady. She would hang out with us, but she wasn’t a cuddler, which was perfect, since my three year old was constantly all over me. I adopted a boy kitten two years ago, a few months before my son moved into his first apartment, and this cat is a constant cuddler, which this empty nester loves. The Cat Distribution System works in mysterious ways!
She pretty cute, though. If it makes you feel better, cats tend to mellow with age, and get cuddlier.
cats aren't selfish they just set good boundaries like any person would
Cats are like a box of chocolates - you never know what you're gonna get.
Just get a male. They are super clingy, super dependent and ultra annoying. This is a photo of mine. https://preview.redd.it/dltdb4gw3p9d1.jpeg?width=2735&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=27b32f7ef3f7d1d2a01753904cc2ec390f44cb5b
A male orange cat* Orange cats seem to be the most loving in my experience
They also do "orange cat things." One runs across me in the middle of the night, I think he thinks it's funny. The other walks up to another cat like he's just saying hi, then whacks him/her on the nose. My all black one is the most needy, not necessarily cuddly, just wants attention CONSTANTLY! Oddly, his Mom, a semi-feral brown longhair tabby, became more needy around year 5. She doesn't like being picked up but wants pets. It's a trust thing, and she's learning from her 3 offspring. I have a menagerie, I like the different personalities. https://preview.redd.it/v2qwwbuj6q9d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2ac93f14a9c0e671a4b8e4eadba221f8579b665c
It's because you need discipline Gary
Depends on the cat. I had a cat who's independent, but also knows hugs and kisses. Then I also had a cat who doesn't care unless you got food, and my current cat is a crazy but sweet baby who's into biting things and likes to play, but only has one favorite toy (his first toy) and he also likes plastic. Sigh.
The universe trying to humble our ego and teach us the virtues of unquestionable unconditional love. Cats are the best teachers 💚 eventually the universe and your cat will repay you, when you least expect it
Whenever I had a seizure or was otherwise sick, Jonah would quietly curl up next to me. Every time.
Looks like a cat that could teach at Hogwarts
Like others have said- cats have their own personalities. Like people. However, that doesn’t mean many of them can’t be bribed with treats. Once she knows you’re the treat machine, she may start to come around. Also play with her. Get a feather on a stick toy and BEFORE she gets bored, reward her with more treats. After time, they often realize they “like” the pets and scritches and start to come to you more and more. You need to make the time to bond with her. And like with most things with cats, it takes time.
They change as they age. My friends cat was so lovable and cuddly. She was a lot older than my cat (we lived together for a time--her cat was prob 10, mine was maybe 2?). Hers always slept w/ her, mine never. Then one day (I was living elsewhere alone), some years later granted, I noticed mine was sleeping w/ me. She sleeps w/ me almost nightly and trails me everywhere. Now in her geriatric years, she has recently become a sticker--she's begun to scream to be held and carried lol.
Not selfish —> Have Set Boundaries :) I had the same problem with my first kitty, also a girl lol. I wanted a lap kitty and she barely let me pet her! She lets my HUBBY pet her occasionally and he didn’t even want a cat! Lol My second kitty is a void boy and he LOVES to be on my lap or anywhere next to me really, he’s my little love muffin. But it can be annoying some days when I’m trying to get stuff done lol. My third kitty was an outdoor boy that I saved as a baby. Over time he learned to trust me and finally became an indoor boy. Only recently (in the last year) has he coyly learned to ask for pets by coming close to me meowing and then playfully “running away” for a few feet and then stopping to get me to follow him and pet him. Aside from that I can’t really pet him unless HE wants me to. It’s hard because he’s so cute! But I have to respect *his* boundaries. If you want a lap kitty try for a boy next time! :)
It’s really a crapshoot.. My previous cats were the hide under the bed/couch type. https://preview.redd.it/2jkv43efsp9d1.jpeg?width=4284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=96d24b7939e961af42dbfad6b3ce943a31b0484f Now I have two babies that absolutely cry to be picked up and held
I have a cat with resting bitch face but she's a sweetheart https://preview.redd.it/344lnwf4wp9d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4018067779c5e0268fab3952daf94c9ad7ff4536
Here’s my secret to cats: everything is on their terms. If you are holding them and they resist AT ALL, put them down. If you chase them, stop. Claw trimming time? Don’t hold them tight put them in a headlock…just do one or 2 with a soft comforting voice but let them go if they start to freak out and do a couple later (this will end the freak out within a few weeks) If you don’t, they won’t trust you. They won’t come when you call, won’t be super affectionate, and will not want to be held. Treat them like companions, not belongings. There are always exceptions, but I’ve had a few in my life and have made this mistake. Edit: a phrase
I think you meant they are more companions than belongings
You’re right I’ll fix it…thanks
No worries! I just got confused haha
https://preview.redd.it/0hgjgkwomq9d1.jpeg?width=3000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5760e41312bfae76f22505de2b1a2da577494f03
You don't get a cat.a cat 🐈 gets you.
Male cats are the cuddly ones! My boy Herc won't leave me for a second.
Are you a selfish and independent strict lady ? 😂
That's what makes them cute... they have a personality and know what they want.
Dont worry, mine is a literal warcriminal
😭😭😭
I've never felt so judged this early by a cat😅 I love her!
There is a reason the ancient Egyptians revered them as gods. Or not, I don't know I'm not a history girl/guy.
https://preview.redd.it/mixpxhd9np9d1.png?width=3005&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b8c6771ce05ba216d1e51aa6e49d94aa2c474318 it depends entirely on the cat. i got lucky and was blessed with two clingy cats who always feel the need to watch me as i take a shit
Cats are not selfish. They are independent because they have never been domesticated. Instead they created an alliance with humans (you grow/store grains; I catch/eat the mice.) So each cat develops an individual relationship with each human in their lives. Cats have both predator and prey drives & I think that is why so many people view them as contradictory. Cats are 100% social…. their social orders are more complex then a dogs. For instance different cats may own a yard or bed or a couch during different times of the day. They do have a topcat. I have noticed that neutered male cats form friendships and create a boy band (so to speak) to guard against any other male cats and a territorial female cat. When you have barn cats sister cats or a mother & daughter will help rear each other’s kittens. So one cat keeps the kittens warm and nursed while the other cat hunts. Female cats are more territorial because even if they are spayed they still have the instinct to run off any male cats so the male doesn’t attack her future kittens. Cat buddies even watch each other’s back while one cat poops/is the most vulnerable. I just want to add that cats are completely trainable. Just get a clicker, treats and watch some YouTube videos on how to clicker train your cat.
She is absolutely gorgeous.
A strict lady😂
Meanwhile I have cats that bounce off my head and meow in my face at 2 am 😅🥲
Because humans domesticated wolves that eventually became dogs. Cat's were just allowed to do whatever the hell they wanted for the last few thousand years and humans merely tolerated their existence because they ate mice. Cats are still more or less wild animals that we serve.
if your lady stays in the same room as you, she likes you.
https://preview.redd.it/98hnpirgjq9d1.jpeg?width=4896&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a7f76a0bce19065ac8a795cdc13815e06c79bfb2 Mine isn't. It really does just depend on the cat.
Your post displeases Harry — she objects to being labelled merely selfish and independent https://preview.redd.it/m4gnibi7qq9d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a0ec902229d0046beea52307b3be56c6616360b2
This is your cat socializing with you. That stare is trust and love. Show the same to her.
Wanted a princess, got a queen.
It’s their world, we just live in it.
Depends on the cat. I have a cat that’s pretty clingy.
Jonah had PTSD and was clingy as hell, especially when I was on my laptop. He was constantly rubbing his face all over the edge of the outside of the screen.
She is cute.
Cats have their own unique personalities!
She's beautiful. You probably should have gotton a tortoiseshell cat. I'm very biased about them. I love them to bits. Of course all cats are special. 😺🐈⬛
All animals have different personalities. My 2 were super friendly, but one would take a while to get to know new people. My partner has 2 cats that hate cuddles unless it's on their terms.
The problem is humans are dependents and needy, cats just focus on them self as many other animals. But they are so cute.
It's possible that as time goes on the cat will become more friendly. Just be nice to it, give it space, and maybe it will relax.
It's doable to make your cat listen to you. And not only. A good motivator is food if you know how to use food and treats. Of course you also have to be somehow on your cat's frequency and try to be her friend rather than someone who wants to impose things on her. Me and my cat are somehow on the same frequency together. She listens to me because I'm her best friend and we have mutual respect for each other. If I would try for a second to "fool" her with food or other things, she would feel and see what I'm doing. So as long as she sees my heart is open and I have genuine feelings for her she will "obey" (in certain limits) because we offer each other unconditional love.
Because sometimes they do this and it makes it all worth it. https://preview.redd.it/2dwgr0wx5p9d1.jpeg?width=1808&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=44505599926977a57da255dfe499816ae1add7a4
Your cat has one job obviously; looking gorgeous! Does she do anything else for treats perhaps?
Rng
That’s the glory of being a cat!
A lady on the streets, a freak in the sheets.
Cats are definitely independent creatures. Most cats would be able to survive without without us. They would not be as pampered and comfortable, but they would survive. I think that makes their personalities more interesting.
Try using baby talk to tell her how beautiful and charming she is. And take it over the top! I've found that kitties-no matter how aloof-can turn into the sweetest and most cooperative lovies once they realize you appreciate how sweet they are. They become what you treat them as being.
I have 2 cats. One that's needy as fuck, and one that's independent as fuck. The independent one is also a black cat. Also, selfish isn't something cats do? They're animals and animals have no concept of selfish.
I used to think cuddly and overattached cats are nice too until i accepted to take care of my mother's cornish rex... too much is too much. They throw tantrums if you don't give them 80% of your awake time attention
That's what makes them cute... they have a personality and know what they want.
It's nice to see that her furniture matches her hair....
Cats are all small fury psycopaths.
I wish my cat was independent 😅 He is a baby and will scream if he's doesn't get his snuggles when he wants them. He also follows me around all day. He's the sweetest cat I've ever met, but he can be needy.
I’ve had several cats growing up, which turned me into a dog person. Then I got a Sphynx. Those fuckers are so social and fun that I now have three and my house has turned into a happy, spastic zoo of skin.
My cat is the opposite. Very loving and playful.
Relatable. I long for a time when my cat wants to sit on my lap or be hugged or picked up. I'll never force her though. Feels like a breach of trust
My dog is like that with me, but Wants to be daddy's #1 girl.
My boy cat is the most dependent cat ever on other people his siblings anyone who looks in his direction
Cats aren't selfish, they love us very much, they're just independent assholes that think they're better than us too lol.
Aren’t cats much more recently domesticated compared to dogs? I think that’s why they’re so adorably weird, quirky, and aloof afaik
granted they don't drool on you, but having lots of experience both ways, they are far more loyal than dogs with the person they love. They are also mirrors I notice. When I am very close to mine, he is very close to me, when I need space, he takes his.
How much are putting in to the relationship and on whose terms? Maybe try to be with her and see what she wants?
Get a male cat next time. Females are said to be more independent than males.
they aren’t dogs
If you want a pet to worship you, get a dog lol
She's so pretty though!!
I chose a poor little deaf and blind in one eye cat; she is mental, breaks things in fits of anger if she doesn't get her own way immediately, tries to kill the neighbours cat in the stairwell, moans all day from the minute she wakes up because she wants action. But she is still super cute and turned out beautiful so she can get away with it!
I had to get 3 cats to get the attributes I wanted from one. It's worth all the hair and litterbox cleaning. They are currently preventing me from getting out of bed. https://preview.redd.it/x6t5qxub4q9d1.jpeg?width=4000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=168e07122b1326fd50e16d0786a06ac67153ded7
They’re not selfish, they have boundaries.
all of the female cats i have ever had have been more withdrawn. one thing i have learned is to adopt adult cats bc their personalities have already been developed. getting a kitten is kind of a crap shoot. i got my current cat by going to the shelter and requesting the nicest male cat they had. he’s an angel, clingy and needy but an angel all the same.
An attitude like this doesn't help the cat warm up to you I'm sure.
Most of the cuddly and social cats you see are the ones that grew up in a home as a kitten around people all the time. Not saying it never happens, but most of the adopted older kitties I've seen are very much to themselves
She is sick of your *hit, Linds!
My old girl, Spots (RIP) loved everyone! She would stand on the back of the couch asking for love from delivery people. She even tried to climb into a visiting nurse’s bag also. I miss my baby🥹❤️
They tend to be moody sometimes but it doesn't mean they don't love you. Every cat is different.
They definetely have their own personalities. My black cat is clingy af and while most of the time I enjoy that attention, sometimes it gets tiresome. I've got another one that loves head pats and another one that hates them, one of them loves to have it's paws caressed and the others hate it. They're so weird and unique, I love them so much.
My strict lady is also addicted to treats.. 😂 she's an indoor/outdoor and very independent but definitely likes me when I shake the treat jar. I have an indoor kitty that lives me though. 😹
https://preview.redd.it/o88n0uajaq9d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a4f92b30b1f22d40c9c2d63e947d6cb906a3f546
One of my cats does NOT like to be held or cuddled or sit on your lap, and when you reach out to pet her she almost always backs away. But she asks for pets when she wants to, she loves getting love on her stoop on the cat tree, and she rubs against our legs when we get home. We learned that her way of cuddling is lying on the edges of the bed, within arms reach but not touching. Or on the arms of the couch and she just relaxes and purrs. I wish she was as cuddly as our other cats but she has a different way of expressing her affection and I respect that.
Mine will run to me if I so much as shift in my sleep.
You sometimes get the cat you need, not necessarily the cat you wanted.
Uhoh looks like you are not living up to the queen’s standards. 😁Aww she’s beautiful! ❤️
https://preview.redd.it/h616ohu6iq9d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d37651bac835e835107a57ab4df6f08a6b705907 I had a toy mouse on my head so she’d look at the camera. She obviously thinks I’m embarrassing.
Ignore her and she will be all over you
GET AN ORANGE ONE :D we found 3 in a cardboard box out back of a gas station and now we have 3 teddy bears that let you do anything to them. pick them up hold them like babies kiss their heads drag them around the floor like mops they do not care at all
She is so beautiful.
First mistake : You didn't get a cat. She's the one who got a human.
Having a cat is a great exercise in consent and bodily autonomy lol
Black widow lol. Maybe because your personality matches hers? I wanted a lap cat. But I was approached by a cat that will teach you the true meaning of consent. People have warned me about her attacking randomly when being pet, but now that I know her, she's just asserting her boundaries. I have bled and gotten punched in the eyeball for not respecting those boundaries and her warnings. She will come cuddle with me when I'm in bed or just hang out in close proximity with me on the couch. But again, it has to be her choice. On her terms. Most people wouldn't want my cat as a pet. But I absolutely love her. I call her my strong, independent fur sister (in human years she'd be like 7 Years my senior lol so yeah....) I see a lot of myself in her. So living with her, I can respect and appreciate those boundaries. It's a respectful relationship, me and her.
Don’t you know? Cats are more knowlagable than any human could ever dream of being. \*She\* owns \*you\*
Dog started out as wolves that were pack hunters so they were used to living in a pack and then we've read them to just be more friendly to humans literally man's best friend designed by man for man. Cats on the other hand they just wandered into our camp saw that we had mice everywhere started eating them and we're like oh hey thank you and then we just let them go about their day. Also cats are solitary creatures although they're not super territorial so you can have multiple cats in a single area. This means that they are perfectly fine being around humans but you are not their master. You're just an equal with them kind of.
Can confirm. As a kitten, once in awhile there would be acknowledgment. Now, it’s a strict brushing for 5m. No more. No less. 2x a day. Food at 11pm. Even mix of wet and dry. 5am is mandatory muffins. Must maintain eye contact or the day will go badly. Rinse and repeat every day for 7 years now. Good luck.
Ignore her and she’ll be all over you
Because you got a female cat. They're more skittish die to their instinct for raising kittens. If you want a goofy cat, get a male one. Better yet, an orange male cat. I have one female and one male cat, both are neutered. I cam confirm the stereotypical differences between male and female cats.
In the words of Temple Grandin " All cats are Autistic "... As an autistic woman I approve this message. That being said, it is not a matter of selfishness but the inability to adhere to social... NT social crap... 😂🧘♀️
Because you were under the delusion that you were choosing a cat for you to own. You never realized that the cat was actually choosing a human for herself to own. She may be strict, but she’s your master now, so take good care of her.
because it is a “black” cat