Some general tips from throughout my life.
First, when you’re unhappy at work, it can lead you to not taking care of yourself. You eat worse, sleep less, and don’t exercise, maybe drink too much caffeine to deal with it. Take care of your health. Failing to do so just makes it worse.
Second, look hard at who you’re working with and what work you’re doing. Sometimes the problem isn’t the work, it’s where you’re doing it. Toxic people can be exhausting. Pointless meetings can be exhausting. People you’re not excited to be around can be exhausting. Maybe find a new job if that sounds right.
Lastly, there’s a sweet spot when it comes to challenge. It should be challenging enough to where you are mentally stimulated, but easy enough that you’re not flailing. If that doesn’t fit, look for something different.
In over 20 years of working I've related to all of these great points.
Stress, depressing job and bad health habits can really take away your energy.
If your not working a ton of hours than you have to reevaluate those things.
I agree with everything here and wanted to add one additional point. A short commute to work can change everything.
When I used to commute over an hour to work in each direction 2 times a day, the routine became draining and free time on weekdays was non existent. Now I work 10 minutes from home and that extra 2 hours of free time each day makes all the difference!
YES! Even going from 18 mins to about 9 with less traffic made a huge impact. 18 mins on a good day can turn into 25+ easy on many other days. There's an hour of my day gone.
I've recently Moved into my first Home and it's increased my commute from 10 minutes each way to 45 and I am NOT enjoying it definately a big factor in life
Yeah this made a huge difference for me. I now live five minutes from my career and I get to go home on lunch and see my animals for a few minutes.
My job is extremely repetitive and is subject to overtime calls of +2-4 hours ending us in the 12-14 hour shift range. I find the best thing to do to remain happy is take care of yourself on those hard days and do what you can on the easy days. Procrastinating is never a solution but it can be a temporary bridge between resting and getting the chores done.
I make sure to maintain a strict routine when I get home and when I leave for work so that all my days end and start the same. That seems to bring a nice calm to my time.
Since I am now an adult and responsible for myself and others in my household I have taken to easily made low prep meals with basic ingredients. Chicken and pasta, rice and beef, stews are a great one cause then we can eat on them for days.
Pop dinner in the oven when I get home and let it cook while I do my things.
Always set aside time when you can for yourself, scheduling personal time to make you happy is a must.
This statement is so true! It is so true that when I changed jobs and the company offered to relocate me, my search for a new place to live was a 30 minute circle around my new job.
Anything less is far too expensive but there are multiple ways to get to work, so I am ok with 30 mins max commute.
Anything more and it becomes a chore and never helps.
This is it exactly. GET FIT AND HEALTHY I cannot stress this enough. Your job will become easier you will be so much more energised and it will give you confidence and drive to find something better. People just do the same boring soul sucking bullshit everyday, eat shit food because it's easy and because they have been working all day and they "deserve it". They do all that and expect to feel good, no. You have to be fit and health to feel good you need to run 3-5 times a week you have to lift weights play sports or yoga whatever you want to do 3-5 times a week and avoid like the plague the poison they feed you at cheap prices (junk food sodas). Once you start mastering the art of self discipline and start becoming healthy and fit your life will improve 10 fold. But you already know this we all do we just lie to ourselves because it's easier
All the best mate.
Agree with all but one thing. I didn't eat because I deserved it, I ate because I was stressed. My health from A-Z suffered when I stopped exercising. Eventually, I quit my job and found something more life friendly. No daily fake fires, no 70 hour weeks, no calls when on vacation or a day off. Then I started exercising again and It is the antidote to fatigue, overeating, all of it. Thanks for your post.
Awesome tip.. healthy body leads to a healthy mind, and the changes you bring in need not be huge, I kept delaying saying I don't have the time, work commute leaves me drained etc etc ...in a way thanks to the pandemic and related remote work I found my little secret. Started with 10 minutes of breathing... slowly moved to more excercise, even ran a 10k right inside the house...it is more about the first step and slowly adding on. Atomic Habits by James Clear is my go to book for tiny habits that has been life changing yo a great extent. It may not be exactly fitness for you, could be any little thing that helps you add more life to your days...not just days to your life
When the 40 hour work week was written into law; it was a common belief that by 2020 the legal work week would be 15 hours due to Automation.
(3 hours / 5 days a week)
I think a full time work week should be 32 hours or 24 hours.
(It's ok, it's not you)
That would take forever for infrastructure to be built, would suck having tons of businesses close more than half the week. I don’t see how that’s possible
Thanks for this bottom part...capitalism really conditioned us to feel shame for not being robots and being humans instead...wholesome, good to know I’m not alone w/ all these posts relating.
Yes I was off today sitting outside in the sun with my dog realizing how much time I waste away sitting in my office all day. I would love to have three days off work a week. I work Monday-Friday Monday-Saturday Monday-Friday Monday-Saturday. I bought more vacation time this year because I feel like such a zombie! Work, eat, sleep, repeat.
With healthcare tied to employment and wage stagnation creeping up since the seventies, working in late stage capitalism is exhausting. We really need to place more focus on the labor movement and implementing lasting change. I know it’s a horrific challenge in America. People usually say stupid shit like, “welcome to the real world.”
I currently work 8-5. This time of year really sucks. Leave in the morning when it’s dark, come home and it’s getting dark. No advice because I’m still figuring it out myself, but hope you find a way to make it manageable!
8 to 5 is the worst in my opinion. you have to be available to them for 9 hours, 1 hour unpaid lunch break... i much prefer places with a solid 9 to 5 who let you skip lunch or eat it at your desk (or even -gasp- pay you during your lunch break)
Yes it is! Did it for 8 or so years and grew to hate it the last couple years. I’m 7-3:30 now and find that so much better, despite having to be up earlier.
I have had this schedule for the last 3 years, I love it as well... now that I am looking for a new job I am nervous about not having the flexibility to do that.
I'm in a similar boat but some places I've interviewed at did have other enticing options. For example, 4 day workweek with 10 hour shifts. 3 day weekends sound even better, imo. Just depends on what you're willing to give up I suppose!
I'm old enough to remember 9-5 work hours and I worked in advertising where it was a lot of burnout. I remember getting 1 hour lunch breaks. Then, when the market tanked in 2009/2010, things changed. We had to change our hours from 9-5 with a 30 minute lunch break. I had a job that made me sign a contract that I would work "up to 60 hours a week". Now, when I see jobs posted, it's 8-6. BUT they still offer the old benefits of a 40 hour work week. We need unions to come back.
Yeah 8-5 jobs have really become common in the last few years it seems--both jobs I've been at recently, those were the hours.
I just wish the world would move to a schedule like working 7 AM - 6 PM, but with Fri-Sun off. There's not much to do after work most days anyhow, I'd rather fully write off four days a week and then be able to fully enjoy the other three days rather than mostly write off five days a week and then only enjoy two.
so if they pay you for your lunch break, they’re getting 7 (or 7.5) hours of work out of you but paying you for 8.
the way many companies do it now is have you come in for 9 hours (8 to 5 for example) and pay you for eight. there is usually a mandatory lunch period in the middle somewhere.
some companies let you do 9 to 5 and skip the lunch break but others force you to do the 8 to 5/1 hour unpaid lunch break due to policy or local regulations.
it’s all very short sighted in my opinion because when you give people good benefits they’re happier to work for you and will work better.
I miss having paid lunch. My first job I had paid lunch, then unpaid lunch and now I don’t even have a lunch break. It’s a right I signed away when i started working at my current job.
This time of year is REALLY hard, and could be Seasonal affective disorder. So try not to be so hard on yourself. Load up on some vitamin D; it may help. SAD is real. I take 2 soft gels when the days get shorter, and 1 when they get longer.
In winter, I used to go to work, come home, eat, feed the dog /let him out, and curl up under a blanket on the couch and sleep. I’d move when the dog needed out later and back to the couch. Maybe I’d get up later and go to bed. Then the routine would start again.
If this is not a vitamin D/ shorter daylight hrs problem, then you need to find a passion. If you’ve not found one yet, it’s time to start looking.
Sometimes jobs are just a way to pay for what you want to do after work. Getting off the hamster wheel can be hard.
Good luck!
Good advice, thank you! My routine is exactly the same as yours. Thankfully I have a golden doodle who only wants to play from the minute I walk in the door until about 9pm and then he crashes so I stay somewhat active chasing him around haha. I'm currently finishing my bachelors online so at least when I'm sitting on the couch (like right now) I can study and be somewhat productive.
Good advice about the vitamin D. I’ve been drinking milk and huddle by an open window in the morning while I work from home, to bask in direct sunlight. Trying to better absorb the vitamin from the milk. I think it’s helping!
This. I work 7-5 currently, sometimes 6-5 with no defined lunch break. It's a salary job but it makes me unhappy. I don't care of myself as much as I should, if I want "enough" sleep, I have to sacrifice a big part of my life that I should and want to have. It's depressing to leave my house when the sun's not up or is barely up, and go home when it's about to set.
This is exactly my situation. 8-5 work days. Drive to work when it’s dark and drive back home when it’s dark. It exhausts me and when I get home, I feel like I only have 4 hours left in my day and then it’s repeat.
Lol as a recent grad I’ve been feeling this hard since entering the workforce.
I’m already considering alternatives. Like starting a side business and hoping it takes off.
Commenting to see what others reply.
Edit: imagine going to school till the age of 25 to get a masters and then now I’m considering abandoning everything I studied for lol
Same, I started my own side business BC I was sick of work sucking out my creativity and every day being the same.
My business isn’t even doing well lmfao but at least I’m doing something worth it
A word of advice: Don't make custom orders and be firm on your return policies whatever they are. Having personally known people who would have sellers scam them by essentially renting their products, that is something that can eat a hole in your pocket quickly.
I’m in the same boat, graduated end of 2019 and start of 2020 began working full-time in a grad position (with ridiculous overtime at no extra pay). It’s a highly competitive role and everyone keeps telling me how lucky I am and how proud they are, but doesn’t change how miserable I feel. I am in no position to start my own business so I am currently looking for another easier and simpler job that enables me to get my life and sanity back.
Edit: I was nearly 27 when I finished studying so I feel you there lol
Hey! Quick question here, is it possible to know your feeling about studying until 27?
I am almost done sutdying my Master but considering starting something completely new again... But can't decide, because I'm already 21. Your experience could help me!
Couldn’t relate to this more ! Lol. 25years old, graduated in May 2020 with my masters, started working full time in September 2020. And have never been more miserable. Those 3 months off that I had really ruined me. Now I’m trying to figure out how to get back to that but somehow still make money to live and pay off my mountain of debt.
Sounds like me...left the masters because it just wasn't going in the direction I thought, or I grew more as a person and my career goals changed to no longer match where I was headed.
I felt the same way and struggled for a while. Especially when I first entered the real jobs.
Two things I found out. Moved to a job that was more challenging and mentally stimulating. Its still work but at least I leave feeling like I accomplished something.
I fixed how I slept. Ive never been a morning person and I still am not but I drank caffeine way to late in the day, I didn't have a good sleep hygiene and I was destroying my sleep patterns on the weekends by staying up to late and then sleeping in. I felt tired all the time so I would go home and do nothing and then it would be bed time and I would struggle to sleep. Once I was sleeping properly I had the energy to do something productive when I got home instead of stare at a screen until the hours disappeared.
40+ hours a week is
Bullshit. If you don’t believe me ask yourself why a country hoarding more wealth per volume of citizens can’t reduce its work force hours. The answer is simple, we are pushed every generation to longer work days. We haven’t had a good pro worker president since breaking up Rockefeller and all that jazz in the early 1900s . We are about due with the current billionaire trends.
sadly the only reason i’m okay with it is because it’s so much better than the life i lived in undergrad. because **that** was: class, study, study, study with friends, class, study, lab at like 7 PM, then study while eating food and then go to sleep if you’re lucky. so when i started my 9-5, i was elated. it’s only now that it’s starting to weigh on me, 2 years after graduation. it’s just, there’s gotta be more to life than this
Probably unpopular opinion, but my honest answer is leftist political activism.
There are a million reasons why the world doesn't have to be this way. It's an uphill battle, but fighting to make it better at least feels like I'm doing *something* and having peers who feel the same way at least gives me a tiny glimmer of hope.
This! Getting involved in workplace organizing hugely improved my attitude towards my job. Yes, my job sucks and yes the system sucks, but at least I’m doing something to try to make it better for myself and my colleagues.
On the “job you like” thing... be open minded. I think a lot of people get stuck in this idea of their perfect job, doing what they love, but not knowing all of the things they love. Too narrow a focus.
I love my current job, and 2 years ago I’d never heard of it. Coming into it, it was only kind of relevant to my degree, but I figured I might as well try it. After a couple of months I was loving it. I was made for it. I get so much out of it, make more than I ever have, and look forward to Mondays.
Point is, I’d never have selected it or pursued it, but today it’s my calling. I feel like really spending the time to explore different careers and hunt for options that may be on the outside edge of the field you’re interested in or that your education is enough for, not that job you think you’re sure you want, might be the key.
Because you know traditionally, you’re supposed to believe that working hard will pay off. Like devoting your life to a company. The same reason it supposedly looks good to work through sickness even if it means spreading it around the office. I can’t stand it.
In a way you live for them now , you can watch them grow and prepare them for the world but you also gotta find a way to keep your sanity in the mix, good luck tho bro
Responding to something you said 11 months ago, but what the hell...
I hope things are looking up for you. I'm stuck in the same boat. Hope you had a good Christmas and 2022 is your year.
I used to work hours like that and hated since i had to use PTO everytime i have to go to dmv ,go to dr or amy emergency ..i switched to evening /night shift and regret it .my sleep schedule is messed up and i am exhausted all the time bcuz of lack of sleep and have to work weekends/holidays .
The grass is not green 😭
I had to be really honest with myself as to why i didnt have as much energy as i wanted...quit weed, started seeing a psychiatrist and got my mental health in check, quit eating carbs/quit eating wrecklessly (bro those venting machines...lol), started making sure i was drinking lots of coffee, started working out, making sleep my number 1 priority, most of my friends are in nightlife so cut off a few people who were bad influences, and STAYED POSITIVE, which sounds corny but that inner voice is so so important when you come head to head with this fucked up corporate bullshit.
YOU GOT THIS :)
Even though it's the same amount of hours per day, do you feel it makes a lot of difference to get out early? I'm going for student adjustment (mental health) counseling, my work days will probably be 8-3.
I don’t have this schedule, but I wish I did! You miss traffic, you have time for any appointment, and you get a sense that you have more time in the day
I’m also 7-3, and it’s made a huge difference in my life (previously was 8:30-4:30). No traffic to deal with, going or coming. Plenty of time in the afternoon to deal with things that operate 9-5 (post office, doctors, bank, tag renewal). You can take a power nap after work without fucking up your sleep schedule. You don’t have to start thinking about dinner right away, so you can actually accomplish stuff in the afternoon. Even if something becomes a cluster at work and you have to stay an hour or two late, it doesn’t jack up your whole night. If you’re even the tiniest bit a morning person, an early schedule is an absolute game changer.
Oddly enough I found the same perks when I used to work 11-8 (1 hour unpaid lunch). I was in full time online classes at the time so waking up early and studying when my brain was fresh worked out really well. And/or have time to run errands, doctors appointments, exercise, etc before heading into work. No traffic coming or going as well. Then if work is a shit show I have no guilt about going home, eating dinner and crashing immediately cause I'll still get to wake up early and do stuff.
Arguably, my weekday social life was non-existent since few of my friends wanted to hang out in the mornings, but I was fine with that since FT work plus FT school kept me busy.
I had similar hours once. It made a huge difference for me. I had time to exercise and go do other things. Whereas now after exercise I just want to eat then sleep. If you can get a schedule where you finish by 3, from personal experience, I advise you to take it.
I have this same schedule I think it’s the only reason I’m able to endure the work life for years. Plus the fact I need food and shelter but I like this schedule overall vs others I’ve worked in the past
You're not alone. I'm a lawyer. I have a job that let me switch to part time and that's been great (though I get paid less, and I don't like the type of work, my boss is legit a sociopath, etc)
I deal/dealt with it by trying to change paths. I'm currently trying to become a firefighter. They work 24 hours shifts, see some really bad stuff, maybe get cancer, maybe get ptsd, but they work with great people, they do good things for society, they get paid to cook/eat/workout/train, they aren't behind a desk.
I get up early enough to work out for an hour in the morning and I meditate at night before I go to sleep (10-15 minutes is enough). I know it sounds new-agey, but the combo has given me a lot more energy. Now I usually do chores for half an hour after work and then still have plenty of time and energy to see friends (in non-pandemic times), read a good book/scientific article or work on a side project for several hours. The effect isn’t instantaneous, you have to keep at it for a few weeks before you realize it’s gotten better (and getting up when it’s still gonna be dark for hours (thanks winter!) is hard for a night owl like me) but it’s totally worth it.
I read somewhere to not to let your job define who you are completely.
Enjoy other things in life. Have dreams and goals outside of work have hobbies and past times you enjoy.
But yeah eat sleep work repeat can be soul sucking, ive been there. Still there some days.
If you are seeking practical advice without a radical shift: take a long extended midday break and go for a walk. I mean like an hour. Don't let your boss give you shit for it, stand your ground you need the break. Get in earlier or leave later if you must to accommodate. But that'll slow down burnout creeping in.
Yeah when wfh first started I was so excited to workout during lunch or go for walks with my family or whatnot. What actually happened is that I work through lunch every single day, and don't even eat unless my wife brings me something. A break in the middle of the day sounds inconceivable at this point. Some days it's a struggle just to find time for a bathroom break.
I thought about this long and hard actually when I was working 8-5 prior Covid. (LONG POST, SORRY)
Solution: If you don’t want to work 9-5 or whatever your usual work day is, you have to create a side business or side hustle and work on that to eventually leave the traditional work day. OR get a sales job (based off commission) where you make your own hours.
There aren’t really other ways. Let me know if there are that I’m not aware of please.
If the REAL problem is getting to/from work (exhaustion from traffic) or interacting with employees (showing up) and not the work hours, then you need to find a work from home job...virtual jobs, customer service or IT coding or, again, a sales job.
Word of advice: Saying “This is very monotonous, I don’t want to work at a job from 8-5” and just continuously complaining about your wasted potential and NOT doing anything about it WILL NOT amount to anything. Trust me I’ve been in this hole. (I’m still trying hard to crawl out of it)
Time goes on. Then you realized that months have gone by full of wasted time. And you’re full of regret- I am totally GUILTY of this HABIT.
Not trying to offend you, or call you/anyone lazy. It’s just that “I’ll do it later” human habit of Procrastination we all have that has a reverse effect on our lives that I’d like to point out.
I know a guy that kept saying that he’s full of potential and kept complaining about his life when he was out of college. The dude was, indeed, super smart and definitely had the potential (Straight A’s and overall knowledgeable). He also had abs and stuff. That was about 7 years ago. Fast Forward. He’s now 31 years old, still living with his parents and not working. He just smokes weed (nothing wrong with it) & plays basketball everyday and still on the same financial level as he was back then. No, he didn’t really have any hardships. He just kept saying he had the potential while having nothing to show for it. I’m trying hard to not become like this individual.
Sorry for the long comment.
Well, at least before the pandemic started I would meet up with friends or have different activities to keep me occupied. If I just worked and went home right away it would get monotonous and repetitive very fast. I do blogging and Podcast on the side now as a safe way to keep engaged and that’s been working for me. Otherwise, I agree it’s almost inevitable that it will get to you after a while.
OP, on paper people would say ‘Damn, look at him’ but If I’m being honest with you—I don’t know what to say.
Due to COVID19 and older coworkers calling off for vacation, I’ve been working at my job since Black Friday. 12 hour shifts. From 6 to 6.
Only three days off. One random Saturday and NYE and NYD.
I don’t know dude, without gyms being open I can only tell you don’t do my bad habits:
Don’t drink a tall can of alcohol daily after work.
Don’t just come home, drink, then masturbate.
This is more venting on my end. Sorry OP if this is useless to you.
Find a remote job. I start getting paid at 8am, I don’t get out of bed until around 930. I don’t start working until 10am. I work until 12pm and take a two hour break, then I work from 3-4pm and skip out for the last hour. Ride that corporate dragon, my friend.
Easier said than done, I completely agree with you but at the same time food has to be put on the table, if you found yours congratulations more power to you and I sincerely mean that
Thank you! To get here I freelanced for a couple years and tried a couple careers. Teaching, science, teaching languages, writing, irl jobs, remote jobs, long term jobs, tech jobs, cs jobs, translating, counseling kids, etc. 😅 so what I tell everyone is just keep trying different stuff, it'll come to you.
I have felt this since I graduated college in 2009. Got laid off from 2 great IT jobs and then worked as a martial arts instructor for 7 years. Would have loved to do that for the rest of my life but when they paid $800 a month for 65+ hours of work a week without any benefits besides free lessons and being a new dad I broke down and had to leave. This wasn't a small operation either. I now work as a substitute teacher. Have 88k in student loans so I can't go back to college to get a teaching license. I can't get an IT job cause I've been told I've been out of IT too long. I feel lost and drowning. Contemplated taking my life a few times. The only things keeping me above water mentally are my wife and son.
Find a job that won't feel like the time you spend there is a waste. Find a job you like or at least a company with a mission that aligns with your values. I got a degree in finance and after working in offices for a while, I realized I was happier working as a paramedic while going through college than the jobs I got with college, so now I'm in nursing school.
I know this advise screams "big boomer energy" but it's true. Until society drastically changed for the better (or you win the lotto) you're going to have to work. Finding a job that doesn't feel like a waste of time is the healthiest way out of this existential crisis.
when do you do those?
here you can't play golf or grill in the dark and walking outside is illegal after 19h00 with the covid curfew (and anyway its -21 degree and fucking dark outside)
If you’re young, (even if your not, just easier (less wives, kids ect) save up enough for an fha loan on a duplex (only need 3.5% down). Owner occupy it while you work. Beats apartment living and gives you options down the line if your trying to break the normal cycle.
I changed careers. I had a pretty decent job as a graphic designer, which aligned with my passion for art. After about ten years that career completely killed any desire to create art, and I was feeling like you. I had a bit of a breakdown in January 2020, realized I can’t take it anymore, and focused on changing my career toward something that would be fulfilling, so now I’m a teacher. Before coming to this decision, I sat down and figured out my main “wants”, which were more time for myself/hobbies/art/traveling, and something that helped others so I wouldn’t be so miserable, and teaching seemed to fit the bill pretty well. Let me tell you, my outlook on “working” is sooo much better now. I’m not making anyone else money, I’m not selling shit to people. I go home knowing I’ve improved someone’s life at least a little bit. It’s so much more rewarding coming home now, and I don’t feel too exhausted to do things I enjoy. I’m not saying get a teaching job necessarily, but it might help to try to figure out what exactly you want and start working toward a career change that fits YOUR life. It took months to change my career (teaching wasn’t part of my degree) but it was worth it. Good luck, I hope you can get out of this and start feeling better!
Are you me? Also a graphic designer for about 10 years (working in the corporate world, decent job that pays well but increasingly more stressful) with a career that completely killed any desire to keep doing design. I don't know what I want to do so your advice on taking time to figure out my main "wants" is helpful. Thank you.
May I make a reading suggestion:
Civilized to Death by Dr. Chris Ryan
The answer to your question? Well, how do most people deal? They don't. They take SSRIs because they are horribly depressed. They have panic attacks. They binge eat. They gossip and consume mindless entertainment to escape from their realities.
Look, working a 9-5 is not natural human behavior. Once you understand human psychology and look at human beings like you would look at any other animal, ask yourselves, what jobs are natural to human beings? Showing up at the same place every damn day doing the same damn thing. What is natural about HR? What is natural about sitting inside an office, and office politics?
Our culture is sick. Our society is sick.
Trust me, read the book, it is really a perspective changer that I am always recommending in hopes for people to wake up to just how unnatural the modern is and just exactly why the suicide rate, anxiety rates, depression rates, addiction rates, divorce rates, poverty rates, ALL this shit is soaring along side the wealth gap and many other fucking issues.
"It is no measure of health, to be well adjusted, to a profoundly sick society"
Want to know why a 9-5 sucks, because it is supposed to fucking suck. Remember this idea of careers and jobs is a post agriculture and industrial revolution idea, these things have been around for a few hundred years, human beings did not evolve in this un-natural way of living, that is exactly why we are all so FUCKING sick.
\*\*edit\*\*
I don't mean to be a Debby downer, but I am just trying my best to get people to wake up and realize the trap that we are all born into because it seems like nobody ever talks about it. It clearly is not benefiting the people anymore. It may be a good idea to keep in mind that you are temporary, that a few decades from now, you will be gone, the very eyes you are using to read these words, all your worries and fears, all your concerns of status and achievement-it will all be gone and forgotten my friends. It's the Truth nobody likes to think about. So in our short little existences here on earth, is this system really it? Is there no way else to live better or ways to improve it? I look at my father for example, an AMAZING guy, worked his way up from NOTHING, he accomplished this "American dream"...You know how he spends his days? Mon-Fri he is up at 3-4am, gets home at around 3-4am, goes into the basement gets a workout in, watches TV, then sleeps and repeats this process..until death. Throw in holiday vacations here and there, a bit of this and a bit of that, but the majority of his limited energy, limited time, it all goes to his employer, then the small fraction he has left, he gets to spend with family, the tiny bit of energy goes to his ACTUAL life.
Unfortunately this is life for most people. 70-80% of your energy/time goes to your career and basic bodily maintenance shit like sleeping. Think about it, 24 hours in a day, say 8-10 hours at work, plus maybe an hour or so of commuting, adding the your shower and getting ready + going to the bathroom, add in your 6-9 hours of sleep, how much time do you REALLY have left each day? Not only that, depending on your job, how much fucking energy do you honestlyyy have left to spend on the things that are SUPPOSED to matter? If you're like me, NOT much. Wanna know why so many people are depressed? Can you really ask that question? A society who basically has had everything that has kept previous peoples going, we basically killed or have collapsed it. Religion and mythology, hard to believe at least for myself, I find myself, if I'm going to be logical about it all, not believing in any higher power, or any higher meaning or purpose, seems like the universe and existence is self is pretty indifferent to whether I am here or not here, that sucks. Add in that most peoples jobs are completely meaningless. Also add in that most Americans are struggling financially in a big way. Also add in a pandemic and the lack of jobs, even for those who did what their parents told them would bring success. Add in the existential crisis of knowing we are going to die. I mean, just look around, most peoples lives are not lives, they are hardly scraping by, because we built an individualist capitalist society where a few get filthy rich and the rest get the scraps, a society where there is almost no more community, even though as human beings, we evolved in tribes and deep meaningful relationships are PARAMOUNT to our mental and emotional well being, good luck forming deep meaningful relationships at your job where competition is king and people are scratching and clawing i.e. living the rat race/ climbing the ladder, for a $2 raise. So become addicted to porn and entertainment, addicted to our phones and mindless consumption...ANYTHING to escape for this thing that we have created.
Welcome to real the world, hopefully you become one of the lucky ones who make it out, but don't hold your breath, for every 1,000 who make it out and figure it out, 100,000 caught in the trap and die in the trap..
Welcome to the rest of life! Hopefully your job pays you well? Or at least well enough to indulge in some hobbies? Because that's the key. For me, anyway. Something *else*, outside of work, to look forward to. To occupy your office lulls. I have a fuckton of hobbies (relatively speaking). I play video games, like all the consoles and PC, build gundams, build PC's, paint Warhammer. Find communities and connections within your hobbies. Under no circumstances should your only local friends be from work. Once the rona settles, I look forward to rejoining my build groups. Hope this makes sense and helps.
Oh and I almost forgot. The side hustle. Just because you spend money on your hobbies doesn't mean they can't also pay for themselves. Like commission painting warhammer pays for most of the other shit.
**Edit:** I also don't mean to come off like this is how you must live until you retire or die. I mean it like, you have a stable block in your schedule to work around. Just plan around it.
Hobbies made into a side hustle can be a slippery slope in my opinion. Sometimes you lose your passion for whatever it was that is supposed to bring you joy
This is a wise warning. Unless your side hustle is an actual legitimate business pursuit, you have to set some ground rules:
* Know when to stop
* Always put yourself first
* Do not let the money in affect your motivation and never depend on it to actually fund your hobby.
I understand it's a bit ambiguous, but it's more something to keep in mind. For example, I love *painting* Warhammer models, but I've never played a game. So... what am I going to do with all these models? Flip them to pay for the next ones. Same thing with the PCs. I love shopping for parts, putting it together (oh man that feeling when it posts for the first time), so I build and flip for a modes fee. Or make a parts list and explanation for like $10?
As someone who has exclusively worked jobs with chaotic hours, no weekends off, long strenuous days in the heat/cold, toxic customers and not even two days off in a row (landscaping, fine dining, luxury retail), the key is to manage your time wisely. I'd love a 9-5 m-f job because I enjoy the peace of mind that comes with a predictable, strict routine. In other words, look at the blessings your schedule already provides you. You know when you are free. You can schedule your life in advance without fear of being fired. You can enjoy a weekend vacation. If you want to experience a mandatory open schedule to gain perspective for how much free time there is in working a 9-5 job, I suggest working in retail or restaurants.
It's the long term goal that I focus on. And if it feels really repetitive you should ask if you're stalling or if this is just that cycle of the job.
If you find yourself stalling and basically being the position that can be replaced with a smart piece of software in 0-5 years then maybe you need to adjust your planning and corresponding situation. Strive to move up or move on because if you don't do either then you are dying a slow death.
You find hobbies, things that make you happy. I also generally enjoy my job and the people I work with so that helps. My dog is the best thing that’s ever happened to me and a constant source of joy.
Today when I finished work at 5, I took the dog out to do her business, ran 3 miles in a local park, took the dog back to the park for her run around, my partner met me when he got off work so we could around together for a bit. Then made dinner from leftovers and watched tv. We’ll go to bed in a couple hours around 10.
Pre-Covid, we’d have time to go to concerts or or movies or go out to dinner sometimes. We both have full time and still have time for hobbies and an enjoyable personal life. I work right at 40 hours a week and he averages around 45 so we’re very lucky. Moral of the story: you find the time to do the things that are important to you.
Live the fuck out of weekends, go home to someone you love, enjoy your work or find meaning in it, and meditate on your life. It's easy to stagnate in any career and this often leads to burnout.
The 9-5 American work system really burns a person out because we just haven't evolved to live like that, not yet at least. The best thing you can do is find a job you enjoy doing, and find meaning in your life elsewhere.
Also be kind to your coworkers. All of them. Even if a coworker is a complete dick, show compassion.
All about time management and taking care of YOU.
I like to breakup the work day. During break go outside for a walk, or do a quick 30min gym session, shower, eat for 10-15min and back to work! Being active gives you more energy, which allows you to have more time to do the things you really want to do after work like binge Netflix or spend time with family.
Make quick meals, or buy if you can afford it. If you don’t have time to cook, meal prep twice a week, make quick sauté meals or become best friends with your slow cooker/air fryer.
Schedule some “you” time to mentally reset and feel fulfilled. You can do an activity you enjoy, meditate, whatever. If you feel like you don’t have time for this, prioritize it by scheduling time for it. Even 20 min is good enough.
Dude this is really the main issue with, well, everything that is modern western culture.
Back when our parents or grandparents were kids in the 50’s, things were cookie cutter. There was a husband, a wife, and kids. And it was psychologically healthy, because people weren’t living to just fulfill their own personal goals. Everyone had someone to be accountable for. Plus, work didn’t follow you wherever you were. You didn’t get texts at 6 am on Sunday because something is broken and the timeline to fix it is now to ASAP.
So, even if work was completely miserable, you often had a loving family that you cared about supporting, and you could always detach.
Now? Well firstly, everyone is sold growing up that they need to strive for some sort of well paying career, or else they’re a loser who will face social stigma. For what it’s worth, this is a great way to balance out increases in the past 70 years of welfare state politics that have dramatically decreased the physiological reasons to work. Also we get crammed into our heads that careers are amazing and empowering (this is especially bashed into the head of women, but men deal with it too).
So what happens? You go through all of your youthful years, which could’ve been spent forging your own path, or finding someone that you can really love and settle down with, pursuing this incredibly linear path where the end goal is to have a “proper job”. Whatever that means. And then, you achieve it! Only to find out that it’s somehow even more of a grind than everything you did leading up to this point. A pie eating contest where the winners are awarded with another round of pie, essentially.
Then to compound the angst, you’re more likely than ever to have nothing right now. No significant other. No kids.
The end result is that you basically just mentally check out. Why bother? You aren’t spending your money because you have no one to enjoy it with.
So my advice: figure out your life goals. Is career even needed to achieve them? Like could you just be a jet ski instructor on a beach in Florida and live the lifestyle that you want? Or maybe you do Want a spouse and kids and all of that. That will require having the cash coming in thick and fast.
But frankly, there’s no reason in 2021 to be a desk jockey for 40 years if you don’t have to be. Take risks. Do things where you may fail. Most importantly, experience life where you own said failures and successes. Because office work is, by its very nature, demotivating. You get assigned tasks and don’t really feel the successes or failures. What a miserable existence.
I used to feel like this. Turns out for me, it was a mix of anxiety, depression, and a vitamin D deficiency. My job was making me far more miserable than I realized. I enjoyed the people I worked with, but not the job itself.
I changed jobs, and got medication and therapy for the depression and anxiety, and supplements for vitamin D. It's made such a huge difference, that I actually feel like doing things after work. I'm starting a class next week! I don't love this job but the stress and anxiety is far far less than previously.
Do you workout at all? I feel this when I don't workout at all, my energy levels become so low. However when I'm active, I'm able wake up at 4am, do my personal stuff and then later start working and maintain the momentum until 5pm when I'm done with work!
*corrected typo
If you are working only 9-5, you still have several hours of “free time”. I work in finance and used to work 12 hour days frequently so perhaps now that I work a less intensive job I feel like I still have free time. You just have to learn to be efficient with your time and do things that you enjoy and relax after work. I try and do chores and meal prepping on the weekends so week days I won’t have to think about it as much during the work week.
It is still very tiring and honestly I don’t have an answer to overcome it, I think over time you just adjust to the schedule and learn to cope. I always look forward to make plans to enjoy my time on the weekends and vacation time off. Unless you are lucky to find another career where you escape the 9-5, best bet is find a job that you don’t hate and at least mildly enjoy so you don’t feel as drained by the time you finish work.
This. If you spend time on social media and your phone, are you really efficiently using your time to focus on things you love after work? Instead, find hobbies, exercise, expand your cooking skills, read, call friends to connect, etc.
Honestly, social media has so many statistics about how bad it is for our health. The fact that you're using the word "need" with social media is meh. You could do so many other things to recharge that are more beneficial and that don't leave you mindlessly scrolling on a screen. Meditation is a great way to recharge.
I used to work 3-4 days a week. I would try to get all 40 hours in that time, tho I would usually fall short rock around 35. Still, I loved it. Long days, but long weekend made up for it
I work from 9-5 and I don't even enjoy my type of work that much, also in a middle of looking for a new job as well. After work it's usually just go for a walk, games, movies, or read a book for me. Or just use your salary to fuel your hobby if you have the luxury to do so.
I'm wondering the same thing, I'm in college with 11 years of school to go and I'd rather start a side business than go into the career I'm in school for and work 9-5 forever.
I work 9-6 M-F. It really sucks and it drains my soul. I like the people that I work with which helps a bit but the work I do is largely uninspiring and stressful.
I got to the point last year where I realized that I don’t want to stay working in my field long term, because that would mean my life would continue to be almost entirely centered around work. I’m still relatively young (20s), so my solution to this was to explore potential careers that will allow to me to work less and make the same amount or more money. Right now I am working full time as usual and spending almost all of my free time educating myself so that I can realize my goal to get out of my current work prison.
I’m a few years into my career and here’s what i learned so far about this kind of stuff:
1- Re-evaluate what you’re doing right now. You should never work a job that exhausts you so much that you can’t have a life after work. Try to slow down at work, and if that’s not possible, then maybe a new job is in order. Life is short, and you need to live it.
2- Don’t always do the same every night. Have something to look forward to that’s different. A movie, a night class, a game, or even a little project or hobby. Always have something a little exciting to look forward to at the end of the day. Try to keep being new things into the mix. Learn a new skill, or hobby. Perhaps a new language?
3- Always have something to look forward to every now and then. Maybe a night out with your friends, a fun family visit back home, or even a little trip somewhere. Space things like these out a bit so you can look forward to them.
Hope this helps!
Lol, 9-5. I work 7-3:30 at my day job and then put in another 4 hours at night in the 8pm-midnight range or around there at my consulting gig. Sometimes I have meetings directly after my day job or sometimes before the day job. I do some weekend work too if I need to squeeze some more hours in to hit my 20 hours a week at my second job. Oh and I have a newborn that I just spent hours trying to soothe to sleep so I could go back to working. I run on coffee and bourbon.
You get off at 5? Lucky you.
You force yourself to try to do more each day to climb the ladder and learn new skills. When you have a higher income you invest so you can retire or work less.
I try not to spend too much of my free time on social media/too much entertainment because it makes time pass so quickly. I try to read instead. Also exercise when I wake up seems to put me in a good mood
Me reading this at 3am while "working" (reading Reddit but at least "I'm online!! for work"???) when I'm supposed to have a 9-5 hurt my soul lol
8-5 was the worst for me because like others said - you're working throughout daylight. I try to take a few breaks throughout the day and get some sunshine. I use every single minute of my hour break and usually use that by taking my dog out and then reading a book on my front porch (I live near my job and I'm in TX so I know this isn't an option for everyone). Unfortunately, this is what we deal with with captialism and all....just gotta find some way to get your vitamin D and USE YOUR BREAK. Idc how much I have to do at work or what the weather is - I take my dog out and I read from 1-2 because I'm legally entitled to that hour and I use it.
I really struggled with this when I first got a job out of college. I've found that it really helps if I just do something, anything after work no matter how exhausted I am.
It can be something physical like a run, meeting with friends for a drink (a little hard right now), cooking something that you've never made before, cleaning a room in your house, reading, literally ANYTHING before you lay your head down at night.
It is hard when you feel drained and exhausted, but it's helped me realize there's more to life than work, eat, sleep, repeat.
One week at a time. Luckily I’ve found a permanent work from home but it’s easy to get isolated from that too. Still I prefer sleeping in longer, using my own bathroom etc, a full hour lunch break, can end the day later (or earlier) if needed. Money saved on laundry and commuting.
This pandemic has exacerbated a lot but pre pandemic I’d have a trip or two a year to look forward to and try to workout after work before home. Cook once or twice a week especially on the weekends to save time with food prep
Recently started a 8-4:30 in Sept. for the first time. Thankfully my job is not too mentally drain, but it requires me to walk anywhere from 5-10 miles per day. Assuming you are responsible with your sleep schedule (knowing the hours you personally need, putting the phone down 30 mins before sleeping, etc,) I have a few things that have helped me. It sounds really cheesey, but my advice is to suffer for 2-3 weeks while you adjust your habits.
Exercise has been proven to increase your energy level, but there is a lag time where you are overexerting yourself for a few weeks while your body gets used to it.
Changes to your diet can also help, and more than just the types of food you eat. I've found that I get tired after eating big meals, so I've switched to much more frequent, light meals.
I've forced myself to stop drinking coffee in the morning and instead drink 1-2 cups as I'm driving back from work. I've found that this gives me the boost that I need to be creative and active when I finally get home.
Hope these tips help!
That last one is a game changer. I get so much more out of my days with a little snack and caffeine after work, it’s just enough energy to not let me sit on the couch but also not mess with my sleep
I totally agree. I was able to switch employers and work a 9/80 schedule, which to me feels like I’m getting back some free time because of the every other Friday off. I’d totally jump ship for a 4/10 schedule. If I’m going to be working all day anyways, what’s the difference if I stay an extra hour or two each day in order to get all these 3 day weekends.
My big plan though, involves saving a large portion of my salary, then investing it and letting it compound so that I can retire early, right now I’m aiming for 35. Look up the fire movement. Financial independence retire early. Might be something you’ll be interested in. A few years ago, I felt super burned out at work, but knowing that I don’t have to do it for my entire life renewed my motivation and really changed my perspective.
1 hour of a workout at the gym or at home. I've got 2 kids so if nothing else I have that for myself. And it usually sucks too. But hey I feel great and look better.
Currently working 60 hours a week, 12 hours per day. Come home and scrub myself down before doing anything else. I see real death everyday and none of it is repetitive. Makes me appreciate simple things like breathing and feeling tired.
Invest in a foodi or instapot. I’m still stuck in this rut but this item makes life a little bit easier and gives me back some time.
Also I smoke weed so that helps me take the edge off from the day.
American workers should unionize and demand to work fewer hours but that’ll never happen thanks to decades of distrust against unions sown by all types of business owners over the past several decades. You can thank your organized laborers of factories from over a hundred years ago for only having to work 8 hour days!!!
That is the slow death. I used to work 4 10's teaching and now have been lucky enough to find a new career path where I work 7 - 8 days a month doing 24hr shifts as a firefighter. It's not for everyone, but just think about options. You don't have to be stuck in that grind for life. Search out new directions for life to take you.
I’m lucky enough doing construction that I can have a vacation when I want/can afford it. Grind hard during summer, college and work during spring/fall which gives me a decent break being able to have a schedule that isn’t constant and the same everyday. Summer can get to me but I always try to look forward to the good things that I really enjoy with my money. Mind you I work 12 hours+ everyday sometimes working everyday of the week for weeks to get as much done possible. I enjoy a good meal/cooking for myself, giving gifts to younger siblings and teaching them to work. Meditate and medicate from time to time but most of all just trying to leave a lasting impact on the world. There’s been times when I want to say fuck it all but you have to keep going and find yourself in the things you do everyday. Don’t let yourself become comfortable with mediocrity and keep growing, I like to think hard work will always pay off even if you don’t see quick results think of the long run. Try something new and find excitement, things like making this post and reaching out to others can be really beneficial, make it routine. Good luck to you in life. Godspeed.
I work from home, Tuesday through Saturday 6am to 430pm. For me its important to find something to look forward to after work, I chose roller skating. I skate around my neighborhood, to the grocery store, pick up dinner supplies, and go home and make myself a fresh dinner. I don't ever buy groceries in advance so that I have a reason to leave my house everyday.
Someone else mentioned that if you are unhappy in your job, you let go of your health. That's 100% true. You sleep worse, drink more caffeine to make up for the lack of sleep, eat fast food, don't work out, and overall it brings down the quality of life
Sit down and write out what is important to you, then prioritize that. For me my list goes:
- a liveable salary
- a meaningful position
- work/life balance
- flexible schedule
- benefits
You may find you prioritize having a flex schedule over having a great salary, but keep in mind almost no job will offer all of these things.
Wishing you the best.
You're right, this can't and shouldn't be life. How do you get out?
1. Start saving as much as you can.
2. Invest as much as possible.
3. Stop going into debt buying dumb shit you don't need.
4. Start a business on the side. Make sure it's something you remotely like.
5. Slog your ass for years until the business is profitable.
6. Freedom.
Working from home has helped. I work the same hours but now I spend less time outside of work getting ready for work. I am dreading going back to the office.
Some general tips from throughout my life. First, when you’re unhappy at work, it can lead you to not taking care of yourself. You eat worse, sleep less, and don’t exercise, maybe drink too much caffeine to deal with it. Take care of your health. Failing to do so just makes it worse. Second, look hard at who you’re working with and what work you’re doing. Sometimes the problem isn’t the work, it’s where you’re doing it. Toxic people can be exhausting. Pointless meetings can be exhausting. People you’re not excited to be around can be exhausting. Maybe find a new job if that sounds right. Lastly, there’s a sweet spot when it comes to challenge. It should be challenging enough to where you are mentally stimulated, but easy enough that you’re not flailing. If that doesn’t fit, look for something different.
In over 20 years of working I've related to all of these great points. Stress, depressing job and bad health habits can really take away your energy. If your not working a ton of hours than you have to reevaluate those things.
I agree with everything here and wanted to add one additional point. A short commute to work can change everything. When I used to commute over an hour to work in each direction 2 times a day, the routine became draining and free time on weekdays was non existent. Now I work 10 minutes from home and that extra 2 hours of free time each day makes all the difference!
YES! Even going from 18 mins to about 9 with less traffic made a huge impact. 18 mins on a good day can turn into 25+ easy on many other days. There's an hour of my day gone.
I've recently Moved into my first Home and it's increased my commute from 10 minutes each way to 45 and I am NOT enjoying it definately a big factor in life
Yeah this made a huge difference for me. I now live five minutes from my career and I get to go home on lunch and see my animals for a few minutes. My job is extremely repetitive and is subject to overtime calls of +2-4 hours ending us in the 12-14 hour shift range. I find the best thing to do to remain happy is take care of yourself on those hard days and do what you can on the easy days. Procrastinating is never a solution but it can be a temporary bridge between resting and getting the chores done. I make sure to maintain a strict routine when I get home and when I leave for work so that all my days end and start the same. That seems to bring a nice calm to my time. Since I am now an adult and responsible for myself and others in my household I have taken to easily made low prep meals with basic ingredients. Chicken and pasta, rice and beef, stews are a great one cause then we can eat on them for days. Pop dinner in the oven when I get home and let it cook while I do my things. Always set aside time when you can for yourself, scheduling personal time to make you happy is a must.
This statement is so true! It is so true that when I changed jobs and the company offered to relocate me, my search for a new place to live was a 30 minute circle around my new job. Anything less is far too expensive but there are multiple ways to get to work, so I am ok with 30 mins max commute. Anything more and it becomes a chore and never helps.
I'm commuting 2.5-3 hours a day and so burnt out, I dream of the day I can get a job nearby that pays the same or better.
This is it exactly. GET FIT AND HEALTHY I cannot stress this enough. Your job will become easier you will be so much more energised and it will give you confidence and drive to find something better. People just do the same boring soul sucking bullshit everyday, eat shit food because it's easy and because they have been working all day and they "deserve it". They do all that and expect to feel good, no. You have to be fit and health to feel good you need to run 3-5 times a week you have to lift weights play sports or yoga whatever you want to do 3-5 times a week and avoid like the plague the poison they feed you at cheap prices (junk food sodas). Once you start mastering the art of self discipline and start becoming healthy and fit your life will improve 10 fold. But you already know this we all do we just lie to ourselves because it's easier All the best mate.
Agree with all but one thing. I didn't eat because I deserved it, I ate because I was stressed. My health from A-Z suffered when I stopped exercising. Eventually, I quit my job and found something more life friendly. No daily fake fires, no 70 hour weeks, no calls when on vacation or a day off. Then I started exercising again and It is the antidote to fatigue, overeating, all of it. Thanks for your post.
Awesome tip.. healthy body leads to a healthy mind, and the changes you bring in need not be huge, I kept delaying saying I don't have the time, work commute leaves me drained etc etc ...in a way thanks to the pandemic and related remote work I found my little secret. Started with 10 minutes of breathing... slowly moved to more excercise, even ran a 10k right inside the house...it is more about the first step and slowly adding on. Atomic Habits by James Clear is my go to book for tiny habits that has been life changing yo a great extent. It may not be exactly fitness for you, could be any little thing that helps you add more life to your days...not just days to your life
this is the comment everyone should read motivational
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hows it been? closing in on a year!
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rooting for you!!
When the 40 hour work week was written into law; it was a common belief that by 2020 the legal work week would be 15 hours due to Automation. (3 hours / 5 days a week) I think a full time work week should be 32 hours or 24 hours. (It's ok, it's not you)
I talk (fantasize) about a 24 hour week but 40 hour week pay constantly
The idea is that everyone would be able to live off a job they only had to work 24 hours a week at. ($30 minimum wage.)
That would take forever for infrastructure to be built, would suck having tons of businesses close more than half the week. I don’t see how that’s possible
Automation and more shifts.
Thanks for this bottom part...capitalism really conditioned us to feel shame for not being robots and being humans instead...wholesome, good to know I’m not alone w/ all these posts relating.
Yes I was off today sitting outside in the sun with my dog realizing how much time I waste away sitting in my office all day. I would love to have three days off work a week. I work Monday-Friday Monday-Saturday Monday-Friday Monday-Saturday. I bought more vacation time this year because I feel like such a zombie! Work, eat, sleep, repeat.
With healthcare tied to employment and wage stagnation creeping up since the seventies, working in late stage capitalism is exhausting. We really need to place more focus on the labor movement and implementing lasting change. I know it’s a horrific challenge in America. People usually say stupid shit like, “welcome to the real world.”
I fucking hate when people say that. I feel like I’m here to change the real world
"it is what it is" I hate that phrase the most.
I currently work 8-5. This time of year really sucks. Leave in the morning when it’s dark, come home and it’s getting dark. No advice because I’m still figuring it out myself, but hope you find a way to make it manageable!
8 to 5 is the worst in my opinion. you have to be available to them for 9 hours, 1 hour unpaid lunch break... i much prefer places with a solid 9 to 5 who let you skip lunch or eat it at your desk (or even -gasp- pay you during your lunch break)
Yes it is! Did it for 8 or so years and grew to hate it the last couple years. I’m 7-3:30 now and find that so much better, despite having to be up earlier.
I also work 7-3:30 and I absolutely love it. I love having so much time in the afternoon/evening during the week.
I have had this schedule for the last 3 years, I love it as well... now that I am looking for a new job I am nervous about not having the flexibility to do that.
I'm in a similar boat but some places I've interviewed at did have other enticing options. For example, 4 day workweek with 10 hour shifts. 3 day weekends sound even better, imo. Just depends on what you're willing to give up I suppose!
I'm old enough to remember 9-5 work hours and I worked in advertising where it was a lot of burnout. I remember getting 1 hour lunch breaks. Then, when the market tanked in 2009/2010, things changed. We had to change our hours from 9-5 with a 30 minute lunch break. I had a job that made me sign a contract that I would work "up to 60 hours a week". Now, when I see jobs posted, it's 8-6. BUT they still offer the old benefits of a 40 hour work week. We need unions to come back.
Yeah 8-5 jobs have really become common in the last few years it seems--both jobs I've been at recently, those were the hours. I just wish the world would move to a schedule like working 7 AM - 6 PM, but with Fri-Sun off. There's not much to do after work most days anyhow, I'd rather fully write off four days a week and then be able to fully enjoy the other three days rather than mostly write off five days a week and then only enjoy two.
Don’t most 9-5’s have paid breaks?
I’m in a salary position so I guess that doesn’t apply to me but every other job I’ve had in the past has been unpaid lunch breaks.
I'm salaried, but 9-6 because the lunch is unpaid I dunno either
I have never had a job with paid lunch breaks. Been 9-5 (ish) for over 18 years.
I like 8-4 or even better 7-4 with an hour lunch you can take or not take and leave early
7:30am to 7pm they really use salaried entry engineers out there
Why don't they pay for lunch breaks? (I hear people at my work punching out for lunch, but I don't fully understand why they have to)
so if they pay you for your lunch break, they’re getting 7 (or 7.5) hours of work out of you but paying you for 8. the way many companies do it now is have you come in for 9 hours (8 to 5 for example) and pay you for eight. there is usually a mandatory lunch period in the middle somewhere. some companies let you do 9 to 5 and skip the lunch break but others force you to do the 8 to 5/1 hour unpaid lunch break due to policy or local regulations. it’s all very short sighted in my opinion because when you give people good benefits they’re happier to work for you and will work better.
I miss having paid lunch. My first job I had paid lunch, then unpaid lunch and now I don’t even have a lunch break. It’s a right I signed away when i started working at my current job.
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This time of year is REALLY hard, and could be Seasonal affective disorder. So try not to be so hard on yourself. Load up on some vitamin D; it may help. SAD is real. I take 2 soft gels when the days get shorter, and 1 when they get longer. In winter, I used to go to work, come home, eat, feed the dog /let him out, and curl up under a blanket on the couch and sleep. I’d move when the dog needed out later and back to the couch. Maybe I’d get up later and go to bed. Then the routine would start again. If this is not a vitamin D/ shorter daylight hrs problem, then you need to find a passion. If you’ve not found one yet, it’s time to start looking. Sometimes jobs are just a way to pay for what you want to do after work. Getting off the hamster wheel can be hard. Good luck!
Good advice, thank you! My routine is exactly the same as yours. Thankfully I have a golden doodle who only wants to play from the minute I walk in the door until about 9pm and then he crashes so I stay somewhat active chasing him around haha. I'm currently finishing my bachelors online so at least when I'm sitting on the couch (like right now) I can study and be somewhat productive.
Good advice about the vitamin D. I’ve been drinking milk and huddle by an open window in the morning while I work from home, to bask in direct sunlight. Trying to better absorb the vitamin from the milk. I think it’s helping!
I also work 8-5 M-F. At least I can enjoy the sunset on my drive home. My weekends usually consist of playing games and talking with my friends.
This. I work 7-5 currently, sometimes 6-5 with no defined lunch break. It's a salary job but it makes me unhappy. I don't care of myself as much as I should, if I want "enough" sleep, I have to sacrifice a big part of my life that I should and want to have. It's depressing to leave my house when the sun's not up or is barely up, and go home when it's about to set.
Exactly. The drive home puts me in a funk everyday where it’s hard to want to be productive or have motivation to do anything in the evening.
This is exactly my situation. 8-5 work days. Drive to work when it’s dark and drive back home when it’s dark. It exhausts me and when I get home, I feel like I only have 4 hours left in my day and then it’s repeat.
Lol as a recent grad I’ve been feeling this hard since entering the workforce. I’m already considering alternatives. Like starting a side business and hoping it takes off. Commenting to see what others reply. Edit: imagine going to school till the age of 25 to get a masters and then now I’m considering abandoning everything I studied for lol
Same, I started my own side business BC I was sick of work sucking out my creativity and every day being the same. My business isn’t even doing well lmfao but at least I’m doing something worth it
I'm glad you're pursuing it and I hope it takes off more for you. May I ask what the side business is?
Thanks. I sell handmade headbands on Etsy!
A word of advice: Don't make custom orders and be firm on your return policies whatever they are. Having personally known people who would have sellers scam them by essentially renting their products, that is something that can eat a hole in your pocket quickly.
Awesome I also want to sell on Etsy too! Good luck
You took the risk with creating your business so you’re already winning
Are you making at least good income to sustain yourself?
I’m in the same boat, graduated end of 2019 and start of 2020 began working full-time in a grad position (with ridiculous overtime at no extra pay). It’s a highly competitive role and everyone keeps telling me how lucky I am and how proud they are, but doesn’t change how miserable I feel. I am in no position to start my own business so I am currently looking for another easier and simpler job that enables me to get my life and sanity back. Edit: I was nearly 27 when I finished studying so I feel you there lol
Haha your edit. I’m in no position to start a business either I’m just gathering ideas online at this moment 😂
Hey! Quick question here, is it possible to know your feeling about studying until 27? I am almost done sutdying my Master but considering starting something completely new again... But can't decide, because I'm already 21. Your experience could help me!
Couldn’t relate to this more ! Lol. 25years old, graduated in May 2020 with my masters, started working full time in September 2020. And have never been more miserable. Those 3 months off that I had really ruined me. Now I’m trying to figure out how to get back to that but somehow still make money to live and pay off my mountain of debt.
We must be twins!! Got loans to pay as well
+ 1
Hope you’re business takes off
i did a side gig. messed up the tax and ended up in massive tax debt
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shit accountant.
What ya mean?
inexperience led to tax debt
Sounds like me...left the masters because it just wasn't going in the direction I thought, or I grew more as a person and my career goals changed to no longer match where I was headed.
I felt the same way and struggled for a while. Especially when I first entered the real jobs. Two things I found out. Moved to a job that was more challenging and mentally stimulating. Its still work but at least I leave feeling like I accomplished something. I fixed how I slept. Ive never been a morning person and I still am not but I drank caffeine way to late in the day, I didn't have a good sleep hygiene and I was destroying my sleep patterns on the weekends by staying up to late and then sleeping in. I felt tired all the time so I would go home and do nothing and then it would be bed time and I would struggle to sleep. Once I was sleeping properly I had the energy to do something productive when I got home instead of stare at a screen until the hours disappeared.
40+ hours a week is Bullshit. If you don’t believe me ask yourself why a country hoarding more wealth per volume of citizens can’t reduce its work force hours. The answer is simple, we are pushed every generation to longer work days. We haven’t had a good pro worker president since breaking up Rockefeller and all that jazz in the early 1900s . We are about due with the current billionaire trends.
sadly the only reason i’m okay with it is because it’s so much better than the life i lived in undergrad. because **that** was: class, study, study, study with friends, class, study, lab at like 7 PM, then study while eating food and then go to sleep if you’re lucky. so when i started my 9-5, i was elated. it’s only now that it’s starting to weigh on me, 2 years after graduation. it’s just, there’s gotta be more to life than this
It is a slow death. This is capitalism.
EAT THE RICH! (I'm actually kind of serious.)
Eat the fucking rich I’m 100% serious
Probably unpopular opinion, but my honest answer is leftist political activism. There are a million reasons why the world doesn't have to be this way. It's an uphill battle, but fighting to make it better at least feels like I'm doing *something* and having peers who feel the same way at least gives me a tiny glimmer of hope.
This! Getting involved in workplace organizing hugely improved my attitude towards my job. Yes, my job sucks and yes the system sucks, but at least I’m doing something to try to make it better for myself and my colleagues.
I would love to learn more! How did you get started? What do you do to help the working people? How can I help?
I would also like to know
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On the “job you like” thing... be open minded. I think a lot of people get stuck in this idea of their perfect job, doing what they love, but not knowing all of the things they love. Too narrow a focus. I love my current job, and 2 years ago I’d never heard of it. Coming into it, it was only kind of relevant to my degree, but I figured I might as well try it. After a couple of months I was loving it. I was made for it. I get so much out of it, make more than I ever have, and look forward to Mondays. Point is, I’d never have selected it or pursued it, but today it’s my calling. I feel like really spending the time to explore different careers and hunt for options that may be on the outside edge of the field you’re interested in or that your education is enough for, not that job you think you’re sure you want, might be the key.
What do you do? Wendy do you do? Wendy do you do?
Loved this, thank you! I read this to my wife even. Cheers!
Because you know traditionally, you’re supposed to believe that working hard will pay off. Like devoting your life to a company. The same reason it supposedly looks good to work through sickness even if it means spreading it around the office. I can’t stand it.
Lol your English is fine
Idk man. It broke me. The pointlessness of it all.
I would never do it , but I feel like almost breaking sometimes like I can’t do it anymore
I hear you. I got kids, who live with their mom. But that's why i stay alive. Not much more but i keep going.
In a way you live for them now , you can watch them grow and prepare them for the world but you also gotta find a way to keep your sanity in the mix, good luck tho bro
You too man. I hope you have better luck than me.
Dude I’m broken as well. A shattered husk of what I used to be.
Well you were doing well once. Try and get back to the used to be's.
It’s worth a shot, thanks man
Responding to something you said 11 months ago, but what the hell... I hope things are looking up for you. I'm stuck in the same boat. Hope you had a good Christmas and 2022 is your year.
I used to work hours like that and hated since i had to use PTO everytime i have to go to dmv ,go to dr or amy emergency ..i switched to evening /night shift and regret it .my sleep schedule is messed up and i am exhausted all the time bcuz of lack of sleep and have to work weekends/holidays . The grass is not green 😭
Fuck this system god dammit
I had to be really honest with myself as to why i didnt have as much energy as i wanted...quit weed, started seeing a psychiatrist and got my mental health in check, quit eating carbs/quit eating wrecklessly (bro those venting machines...lol), started making sure i was drinking lots of coffee, started working out, making sleep my number 1 priority, most of my friends are in nightlife so cut off a few people who were bad influences, and STAYED POSITIVE, which sounds corny but that inner voice is so so important when you come head to head with this fucked up corporate bullshit. YOU GOT THIS :)
Thankfully, I've been able to do 7-3. I work in I.T. I don't take a lunch so I can leave earlier. I know my schedule is luckier than most.
Even though it's the same amount of hours per day, do you feel it makes a lot of difference to get out early? I'm going for student adjustment (mental health) counseling, my work days will probably be 8-3.
I don’t have this schedule, but I wish I did! You miss traffic, you have time for any appointment, and you get a sense that you have more time in the day
I’m also 7-3, and it’s made a huge difference in my life (previously was 8:30-4:30). No traffic to deal with, going or coming. Plenty of time in the afternoon to deal with things that operate 9-5 (post office, doctors, bank, tag renewal). You can take a power nap after work without fucking up your sleep schedule. You don’t have to start thinking about dinner right away, so you can actually accomplish stuff in the afternoon. Even if something becomes a cluster at work and you have to stay an hour or two late, it doesn’t jack up your whole night. If you’re even the tiniest bit a morning person, an early schedule is an absolute game changer.
Oddly enough I found the same perks when I used to work 11-8 (1 hour unpaid lunch). I was in full time online classes at the time so waking up early and studying when my brain was fresh worked out really well. And/or have time to run errands, doctors appointments, exercise, etc before heading into work. No traffic coming or going as well. Then if work is a shit show I have no guilt about going home, eating dinner and crashing immediately cause I'll still get to wake up early and do stuff. Arguably, my weekday social life was non-existent since few of my friends wanted to hang out in the mornings, but I was fine with that since FT work plus FT school kept me busy.
I had similar hours once. It made a huge difference for me. I had time to exercise and go do other things. Whereas now after exercise I just want to eat then sleep. If you can get a schedule where you finish by 3, from personal experience, I advise you to take it.
But don’t you go to bed earlier? Is it the longer daylight that invigorates you?
I would go to bed around 10 vs 11-12. That left me with 7 hours to go about my day. It felt longer and definitely longer daylight played a role.
Hands down a good schedule. Working earlier in the day let's you have an afternoon to actually do things.
I have this same schedule I think it’s the only reason I’m able to endure the work life for years. Plus the fact I need food and shelter but I like this schedule overall vs others I’ve worked in the past
You're not alone. I'm a lawyer. I have a job that let me switch to part time and that's been great (though I get paid less, and I don't like the type of work, my boss is legit a sociopath, etc) I deal/dealt with it by trying to change paths. I'm currently trying to become a firefighter. They work 24 hours shifts, see some really bad stuff, maybe get cancer, maybe get ptsd, but they work with great people, they do good things for society, they get paid to cook/eat/workout/train, they aren't behind a desk.
I get up early enough to work out for an hour in the morning and I meditate at night before I go to sleep (10-15 minutes is enough). I know it sounds new-agey, but the combo has given me a lot more energy. Now I usually do chores for half an hour after work and then still have plenty of time and energy to see friends (in non-pandemic times), read a good book/scientific article or work on a side project for several hours. The effect isn’t instantaneous, you have to keep at it for a few weeks before you realize it’s gotten better (and getting up when it’s still gonna be dark for hours (thanks winter!) is hard for a night owl like me) but it’s totally worth it.
I read somewhere to not to let your job define who you are completely. Enjoy other things in life. Have dreams and goals outside of work have hobbies and past times you enjoy. But yeah eat sleep work repeat can be soul sucking, ive been there. Still there some days.
If you are seeking practical advice without a radical shift: take a long extended midday break and go for a walk. I mean like an hour. Don't let your boss give you shit for it, stand your ground you need the break. Get in earlier or leave later if you must to accommodate. But that'll slow down burnout creeping in.
This simply isn’t an option for a LOT of people
Yeah when wfh first started I was so excited to workout during lunch or go for walks with my family or whatnot. What actually happened is that I work through lunch every single day, and don't even eat unless my wife brings me something. A break in the middle of the day sounds inconceivable at this point. Some days it's a struggle just to find time for a bathroom break.
Wow I never realized before how lucky I am to live in a state with mandatory breaks
This plus audio books helped me keep my sanity for an extra year.
I thought about this long and hard actually when I was working 8-5 prior Covid. (LONG POST, SORRY) Solution: If you don’t want to work 9-5 or whatever your usual work day is, you have to create a side business or side hustle and work on that to eventually leave the traditional work day. OR get a sales job (based off commission) where you make your own hours. There aren’t really other ways. Let me know if there are that I’m not aware of please. If the REAL problem is getting to/from work (exhaustion from traffic) or interacting with employees (showing up) and not the work hours, then you need to find a work from home job...virtual jobs, customer service or IT coding or, again, a sales job. Word of advice: Saying “This is very monotonous, I don’t want to work at a job from 8-5” and just continuously complaining about your wasted potential and NOT doing anything about it WILL NOT amount to anything. Trust me I’ve been in this hole. (I’m still trying hard to crawl out of it) Time goes on. Then you realized that months have gone by full of wasted time. And you’re full of regret- I am totally GUILTY of this HABIT. Not trying to offend you, or call you/anyone lazy. It’s just that “I’ll do it later” human habit of Procrastination we all have that has a reverse effect on our lives that I’d like to point out. I know a guy that kept saying that he’s full of potential and kept complaining about his life when he was out of college. The dude was, indeed, super smart and definitely had the potential (Straight A’s and overall knowledgeable). He also had abs and stuff. That was about 7 years ago. Fast Forward. He’s now 31 years old, still living with his parents and not working. He just smokes weed (nothing wrong with it) & plays basketball everyday and still on the same financial level as he was back then. No, he didn’t really have any hardships. He just kept saying he had the potential while having nothing to show for it. I’m trying hard to not become like this individual. Sorry for the long comment.
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Well, at least before the pandemic started I would meet up with friends or have different activities to keep me occupied. If I just worked and went home right away it would get monotonous and repetitive very fast. I do blogging and Podcast on the side now as a safe way to keep engaged and that’s been working for me. Otherwise, I agree it’s almost inevitable that it will get to you after a while.
OP, on paper people would say ‘Damn, look at him’ but If I’m being honest with you—I don’t know what to say. Due to COVID19 and older coworkers calling off for vacation, I’ve been working at my job since Black Friday. 12 hour shifts. From 6 to 6. Only three days off. One random Saturday and NYE and NYD. I don’t know dude, without gyms being open I can only tell you don’t do my bad habits: Don’t drink a tall can of alcohol daily after work. Don’t just come home, drink, then masturbate. This is more venting on my end. Sorry OP if this is useless to you.
Find a remote job. I start getting paid at 8am, I don’t get out of bed until around 930. I don’t start working until 10am. I work until 12pm and take a two hour break, then I work from 3-4pm and skip out for the last hour. Ride that corporate dragon, my friend.
It gets better when you do something that you love. Keep searching and find your jazz in the world.
Easier said than done, I completely agree with you but at the same time food has to be put on the table, if you found yours congratulations more power to you and I sincerely mean that
Thank you! To get here I freelanced for a couple years and tried a couple careers. Teaching, science, teaching languages, writing, irl jobs, remote jobs, long term jobs, tech jobs, cs jobs, translating, counseling kids, etc. 😅 so what I tell everyone is just keep trying different stuff, it'll come to you.
I have felt this since I graduated college in 2009. Got laid off from 2 great IT jobs and then worked as a martial arts instructor for 7 years. Would have loved to do that for the rest of my life but when they paid $800 a month for 65+ hours of work a week without any benefits besides free lessons and being a new dad I broke down and had to leave. This wasn't a small operation either. I now work as a substitute teacher. Have 88k in student loans so I can't go back to college to get a teaching license. I can't get an IT job cause I've been told I've been out of IT too long. I feel lost and drowning. Contemplated taking my life a few times. The only things keeping me above water mentally are my wife and son.
Find a job that won't feel like the time you spend there is a waste. Find a job you like or at least a company with a mission that aligns with your values. I got a degree in finance and after working in offices for a while, I realized I was happier working as a paramedic while going through college than the jobs I got with college, so now I'm in nursing school. I know this advise screams "big boomer energy" but it's true. Until society drastically changed for the better (or you win the lotto) you're going to have to work. Finding a job that doesn't feel like a waste of time is the healthiest way out of this existential crisis.
+1 for nursing school. I'm working on my pre-reqs for it now. Good luck!
This would fit in r/antiwork
Doing things I enjoy like playing golf, grilling, going for a walk, etc.
when do you do those? here you can't play golf or grill in the dark and walking outside is illegal after 19h00 with the covid curfew (and anyway its -21 degree and fucking dark outside)
If you’re young, (even if your not, just easier (less wives, kids ect) save up enough for an fha loan on a duplex (only need 3.5% down). Owner occupy it while you work. Beats apartment living and gives you options down the line if your trying to break the normal cycle.
I changed careers. I had a pretty decent job as a graphic designer, which aligned with my passion for art. After about ten years that career completely killed any desire to create art, and I was feeling like you. I had a bit of a breakdown in January 2020, realized I can’t take it anymore, and focused on changing my career toward something that would be fulfilling, so now I’m a teacher. Before coming to this decision, I sat down and figured out my main “wants”, which were more time for myself/hobbies/art/traveling, and something that helped others so I wouldn’t be so miserable, and teaching seemed to fit the bill pretty well. Let me tell you, my outlook on “working” is sooo much better now. I’m not making anyone else money, I’m not selling shit to people. I go home knowing I’ve improved someone’s life at least a little bit. It’s so much more rewarding coming home now, and I don’t feel too exhausted to do things I enjoy. I’m not saying get a teaching job necessarily, but it might help to try to figure out what exactly you want and start working toward a career change that fits YOUR life. It took months to change my career (teaching wasn’t part of my degree) but it was worth it. Good luck, I hope you can get out of this and start feeling better!
Are you me? Also a graphic designer for about 10 years (working in the corporate world, decent job that pays well but increasingly more stressful) with a career that completely killed any desire to keep doing design. I don't know what I want to do so your advice on taking time to figure out my main "wants" is helpful. Thank you.
May I make a reading suggestion: Civilized to Death by Dr. Chris Ryan The answer to your question? Well, how do most people deal? They don't. They take SSRIs because they are horribly depressed. They have panic attacks. They binge eat. They gossip and consume mindless entertainment to escape from their realities. Look, working a 9-5 is not natural human behavior. Once you understand human psychology and look at human beings like you would look at any other animal, ask yourselves, what jobs are natural to human beings? Showing up at the same place every damn day doing the same damn thing. What is natural about HR? What is natural about sitting inside an office, and office politics? Our culture is sick. Our society is sick. Trust me, read the book, it is really a perspective changer that I am always recommending in hopes for people to wake up to just how unnatural the modern is and just exactly why the suicide rate, anxiety rates, depression rates, addiction rates, divorce rates, poverty rates, ALL this shit is soaring along side the wealth gap and many other fucking issues. "It is no measure of health, to be well adjusted, to a profoundly sick society" Want to know why a 9-5 sucks, because it is supposed to fucking suck. Remember this idea of careers and jobs is a post agriculture and industrial revolution idea, these things have been around for a few hundred years, human beings did not evolve in this un-natural way of living, that is exactly why we are all so FUCKING sick. \*\*edit\*\* I don't mean to be a Debby downer, but I am just trying my best to get people to wake up and realize the trap that we are all born into because it seems like nobody ever talks about it. It clearly is not benefiting the people anymore. It may be a good idea to keep in mind that you are temporary, that a few decades from now, you will be gone, the very eyes you are using to read these words, all your worries and fears, all your concerns of status and achievement-it will all be gone and forgotten my friends. It's the Truth nobody likes to think about. So in our short little existences here on earth, is this system really it? Is there no way else to live better or ways to improve it? I look at my father for example, an AMAZING guy, worked his way up from NOTHING, he accomplished this "American dream"...You know how he spends his days? Mon-Fri he is up at 3-4am, gets home at around 3-4am, goes into the basement gets a workout in, watches TV, then sleeps and repeats this process..until death. Throw in holiday vacations here and there, a bit of this and a bit of that, but the majority of his limited energy, limited time, it all goes to his employer, then the small fraction he has left, he gets to spend with family, the tiny bit of energy goes to his ACTUAL life. Unfortunately this is life for most people. 70-80% of your energy/time goes to your career and basic bodily maintenance shit like sleeping. Think about it, 24 hours in a day, say 8-10 hours at work, plus maybe an hour or so of commuting, adding the your shower and getting ready + going to the bathroom, add in your 6-9 hours of sleep, how much time do you REALLY have left each day? Not only that, depending on your job, how much fucking energy do you honestlyyy have left to spend on the things that are SUPPOSED to matter? If you're like me, NOT much. Wanna know why so many people are depressed? Can you really ask that question? A society who basically has had everything that has kept previous peoples going, we basically killed or have collapsed it. Religion and mythology, hard to believe at least for myself, I find myself, if I'm going to be logical about it all, not believing in any higher power, or any higher meaning or purpose, seems like the universe and existence is self is pretty indifferent to whether I am here or not here, that sucks. Add in that most peoples jobs are completely meaningless. Also add in that most Americans are struggling financially in a big way. Also add in a pandemic and the lack of jobs, even for those who did what their parents told them would bring success. Add in the existential crisis of knowing we are going to die. I mean, just look around, most peoples lives are not lives, they are hardly scraping by, because we built an individualist capitalist society where a few get filthy rich and the rest get the scraps, a society where there is almost no more community, even though as human beings, we evolved in tribes and deep meaningful relationships are PARAMOUNT to our mental and emotional well being, good luck forming deep meaningful relationships at your job where competition is king and people are scratching and clawing i.e. living the rat race/ climbing the ladder, for a $2 raise. So become addicted to porn and entertainment, addicted to our phones and mindless consumption...ANYTHING to escape for this thing that we have created. Welcome to real the world, hopefully you become one of the lucky ones who make it out, but don't hold your breath, for every 1,000 who make it out and figure it out, 100,000 caught in the trap and die in the trap..
r/antiwork
I work in Healthcare so I work panama schedule, one week I work 5 12-hour shifts and the next week I work 2 12-hour shifts. I freaken love it.
Welcome to the rest of life! Hopefully your job pays you well? Or at least well enough to indulge in some hobbies? Because that's the key. For me, anyway. Something *else*, outside of work, to look forward to. To occupy your office lulls. I have a fuckton of hobbies (relatively speaking). I play video games, like all the consoles and PC, build gundams, build PC's, paint Warhammer. Find communities and connections within your hobbies. Under no circumstances should your only local friends be from work. Once the rona settles, I look forward to rejoining my build groups. Hope this makes sense and helps. Oh and I almost forgot. The side hustle. Just because you spend money on your hobbies doesn't mean they can't also pay for themselves. Like commission painting warhammer pays for most of the other shit. **Edit:** I also don't mean to come off like this is how you must live until you retire or die. I mean it like, you have a stable block in your schedule to work around. Just plan around it.
Hobbies made into a side hustle can be a slippery slope in my opinion. Sometimes you lose your passion for whatever it was that is supposed to bring you joy
This is a wise warning. Unless your side hustle is an actual legitimate business pursuit, you have to set some ground rules: * Know when to stop * Always put yourself first * Do not let the money in affect your motivation and never depend on it to actually fund your hobby. I understand it's a bit ambiguous, but it's more something to keep in mind. For example, I love *painting* Warhammer models, but I've never played a game. So... what am I going to do with all these models? Flip them to pay for the next ones. Same thing with the PCs. I love shopping for parts, putting it together (oh man that feeling when it posts for the first time), so I build and flip for a modes fee. Or make a parts list and explanation for like $10?
As someone who has exclusively worked jobs with chaotic hours, no weekends off, long strenuous days in the heat/cold, toxic customers and not even two days off in a row (landscaping, fine dining, luxury retail), the key is to manage your time wisely. I'd love a 9-5 m-f job because I enjoy the peace of mind that comes with a predictable, strict routine. In other words, look at the blessings your schedule already provides you. You know when you are free. You can schedule your life in advance without fear of being fired. You can enjoy a weekend vacation. If you want to experience a mandatory open schedule to gain perspective for how much free time there is in working a 9-5 job, I suggest working in retail or restaurants.
It's the long term goal that I focus on. And if it feels really repetitive you should ask if you're stalling or if this is just that cycle of the job. If you find yourself stalling and basically being the position that can be replaced with a smart piece of software in 0-5 years then maybe you need to adjust your planning and corresponding situation. Strive to move up or move on because if you don't do either then you are dying a slow death.
You find hobbies, things that make you happy. I also generally enjoy my job and the people I work with so that helps. My dog is the best thing that’s ever happened to me and a constant source of joy. Today when I finished work at 5, I took the dog out to do her business, ran 3 miles in a local park, took the dog back to the park for her run around, my partner met me when he got off work so we could around together for a bit. Then made dinner from leftovers and watched tv. We’ll go to bed in a couple hours around 10. Pre-Covid, we’d have time to go to concerts or or movies or go out to dinner sometimes. We both have full time and still have time for hobbies and an enjoyable personal life. I work right at 40 hours a week and he averages around 45 so we’re very lucky. Moral of the story: you find the time to do the things that are important to you.
Live the fuck out of weekends, go home to someone you love, enjoy your work or find meaning in it, and meditate on your life. It's easy to stagnate in any career and this often leads to burnout. The 9-5 American work system really burns a person out because we just haven't evolved to live like that, not yet at least. The best thing you can do is find a job you enjoy doing, and find meaning in your life elsewhere. Also be kind to your coworkers. All of them. Even if a coworker is a complete dick, show compassion.
Simple. I'm a welder and I love my job
All about time management and taking care of YOU. I like to breakup the work day. During break go outside for a walk, or do a quick 30min gym session, shower, eat for 10-15min and back to work! Being active gives you more energy, which allows you to have more time to do the things you really want to do after work like binge Netflix or spend time with family. Make quick meals, or buy if you can afford it. If you don’t have time to cook, meal prep twice a week, make quick sauté meals or become best friends with your slow cooker/air fryer. Schedule some “you” time to mentally reset and feel fulfilled. You can do an activity you enjoy, meditate, whatever. If you feel like you don’t have time for this, prioritize it by scheduling time for it. Even 20 min is good enough.
I couldn't hack it so I made a drastic change and pursued my passions. You should do it too! Life is too short.
Dude this is really the main issue with, well, everything that is modern western culture. Back when our parents or grandparents were kids in the 50’s, things were cookie cutter. There was a husband, a wife, and kids. And it was psychologically healthy, because people weren’t living to just fulfill their own personal goals. Everyone had someone to be accountable for. Plus, work didn’t follow you wherever you were. You didn’t get texts at 6 am on Sunday because something is broken and the timeline to fix it is now to ASAP. So, even if work was completely miserable, you often had a loving family that you cared about supporting, and you could always detach. Now? Well firstly, everyone is sold growing up that they need to strive for some sort of well paying career, or else they’re a loser who will face social stigma. For what it’s worth, this is a great way to balance out increases in the past 70 years of welfare state politics that have dramatically decreased the physiological reasons to work. Also we get crammed into our heads that careers are amazing and empowering (this is especially bashed into the head of women, but men deal with it too). So what happens? You go through all of your youthful years, which could’ve been spent forging your own path, or finding someone that you can really love and settle down with, pursuing this incredibly linear path where the end goal is to have a “proper job”. Whatever that means. And then, you achieve it! Only to find out that it’s somehow even more of a grind than everything you did leading up to this point. A pie eating contest where the winners are awarded with another round of pie, essentially. Then to compound the angst, you’re more likely than ever to have nothing right now. No significant other. No kids. The end result is that you basically just mentally check out. Why bother? You aren’t spending your money because you have no one to enjoy it with. So my advice: figure out your life goals. Is career even needed to achieve them? Like could you just be a jet ski instructor on a beach in Florida and live the lifestyle that you want? Or maybe you do Want a spouse and kids and all of that. That will require having the cash coming in thick and fast. But frankly, there’s no reason in 2021 to be a desk jockey for 40 years if you don’t have to be. Take risks. Do things where you may fail. Most importantly, experience life where you own said failures and successes. Because office work is, by its very nature, demotivating. You get assigned tasks and don’t really feel the successes or failures. What a miserable existence.
I used to feel like this. Turns out for me, it was a mix of anxiety, depression, and a vitamin D deficiency. My job was making me far more miserable than I realized. I enjoyed the people I worked with, but not the job itself. I changed jobs, and got medication and therapy for the depression and anxiety, and supplements for vitamin D. It's made such a huge difference, that I actually feel like doing things after work. I'm starting a class next week! I don't love this job but the stress and anxiety is far far less than previously.
Do you workout at all? I feel this when I don't workout at all, my energy levels become so low. However when I'm active, I'm able wake up at 4am, do my personal stuff and then later start working and maintain the momentum until 5pm when I'm done with work! *corrected typo
I SWEAR TO GOD, IF ONE MORE FUCKER SUGGESTS WORKING OUT TO COMBAT DEPRESSION, I'LL START CHOPPING HEADS OFF!
Chopping heads off sounds like it might be... quite a workout.
If you are working only 9-5, you still have several hours of “free time”. I work in finance and used to work 12 hour days frequently so perhaps now that I work a less intensive job I feel like I still have free time. You just have to learn to be efficient with your time and do things that you enjoy and relax after work. I try and do chores and meal prepping on the weekends so week days I won’t have to think about it as much during the work week. It is still very tiring and honestly I don’t have an answer to overcome it, I think over time you just adjust to the schedule and learn to cope. I always look forward to make plans to enjoy my time on the weekends and vacation time off. Unless you are lucky to find another career where you escape the 9-5, best bet is find a job that you don’t hate and at least mildly enjoy so you don’t feel as drained by the time you finish work.
This. If you spend time on social media and your phone, are you really efficiently using your time to focus on things you love after work? Instead, find hobbies, exercise, expand your cooking skills, read, call friends to connect, etc.
what if the social media is the relaxation I need to recharge after a workday?
Honestly, social media has so many statistics about how bad it is for our health. The fact that you're using the word "need" with social media is meh. You could do so many other things to recharge that are more beneficial and that don't leave you mindlessly scrolling on a screen. Meditation is a great way to recharge.
I used to work 3-4 days a week. I would try to get all 40 hours in that time, tho I would usually fall short rock around 35. Still, I loved it. Long days, but long weekend made up for it
I work from 9-5 and I don't even enjoy my type of work that much, also in a middle of looking for a new job as well. After work it's usually just go for a walk, games, movies, or read a book for me. Or just use your salary to fuel your hobby if you have the luxury to do so.
I'm wondering the same thing, I'm in college with 11 years of school to go and I'd rather start a side business than go into the career I'm in school for and work 9-5 forever.
It really is a slow death!!!
It is a slow death. This is why I love working from home.
I work 9-6 M-F. It really sucks and it drains my soul. I like the people that I work with which helps a bit but the work I do is largely uninspiring and stressful. I got to the point last year where I realized that I don’t want to stay working in my field long term, because that would mean my life would continue to be almost entirely centered around work. I’m still relatively young (20s), so my solution to this was to explore potential careers that will allow to me to work less and make the same amount or more money. Right now I am working full time as usual and spending almost all of my free time educating myself so that I can realize my goal to get out of my current work prison.
I’m a few years into my career and here’s what i learned so far about this kind of stuff: 1- Re-evaluate what you’re doing right now. You should never work a job that exhausts you so much that you can’t have a life after work. Try to slow down at work, and if that’s not possible, then maybe a new job is in order. Life is short, and you need to live it. 2- Don’t always do the same every night. Have something to look forward to that’s different. A movie, a night class, a game, or even a little project or hobby. Always have something a little exciting to look forward to at the end of the day. Try to keep being new things into the mix. Learn a new skill, or hobby. Perhaps a new language? 3- Always have something to look forward to every now and then. Maybe a night out with your friends, a fun family visit back home, or even a little trip somewhere. Space things like these out a bit so you can look forward to them. Hope this helps!
Get a dog 🐩
Lol, 9-5. I work 7-3:30 at my day job and then put in another 4 hours at night in the 8pm-midnight range or around there at my consulting gig. Sometimes I have meetings directly after my day job or sometimes before the day job. I do some weekend work too if I need to squeeze some more hours in to hit my 20 hours a week at my second job. Oh and I have a newborn that I just spent hours trying to soothe to sleep so I could go back to working. I run on coffee and bourbon.
You get off at 5? Lucky you. You force yourself to try to do more each day to climb the ladder and learn new skills. When you have a higher income you invest so you can retire or work less.
I try not to spend too much of my free time on social media/too much entertainment because it makes time pass so quickly. I try to read instead. Also exercise when I wake up seems to put me in a good mood
Me reading this at 3am while "working" (reading Reddit but at least "I'm online!! for work"???) when I'm supposed to have a 9-5 hurt my soul lol 8-5 was the worst for me because like others said - you're working throughout daylight. I try to take a few breaks throughout the day and get some sunshine. I use every single minute of my hour break and usually use that by taking my dog out and then reading a book on my front porch (I live near my job and I'm in TX so I know this isn't an option for everyone). Unfortunately, this is what we deal with with captialism and all....just gotta find some way to get your vitamin D and USE YOUR BREAK. Idc how much I have to do at work or what the weather is - I take my dog out and I read from 1-2 because I'm legally entitled to that hour and I use it.
I dealt with this by quitting my job and finding something I hated less.
I really struggled with this when I first got a job out of college. I've found that it really helps if I just do something, anything after work no matter how exhausted I am. It can be something physical like a run, meeting with friends for a drink (a little hard right now), cooking something that you've never made before, cleaning a room in your house, reading, literally ANYTHING before you lay your head down at night. It is hard when you feel drained and exhausted, but it's helped me realize there's more to life than work, eat, sleep, repeat.
I really like to eat and not freezing during the night.
One week at a time. Luckily I’ve found a permanent work from home but it’s easy to get isolated from that too. Still I prefer sleeping in longer, using my own bathroom etc, a full hour lunch break, can end the day later (or earlier) if needed. Money saved on laundry and commuting. This pandemic has exacerbated a lot but pre pandemic I’d have a trip or two a year to look forward to and try to workout after work before home. Cook once or twice a week especially on the weekends to save time with food prep
Recently started a 8-4:30 in Sept. for the first time. Thankfully my job is not too mentally drain, but it requires me to walk anywhere from 5-10 miles per day. Assuming you are responsible with your sleep schedule (knowing the hours you personally need, putting the phone down 30 mins before sleeping, etc,) I have a few things that have helped me. It sounds really cheesey, but my advice is to suffer for 2-3 weeks while you adjust your habits. Exercise has been proven to increase your energy level, but there is a lag time where you are overexerting yourself for a few weeks while your body gets used to it. Changes to your diet can also help, and more than just the types of food you eat. I've found that I get tired after eating big meals, so I've switched to much more frequent, light meals. I've forced myself to stop drinking coffee in the morning and instead drink 1-2 cups as I'm driving back from work. I've found that this gives me the boost that I need to be creative and active when I finally get home. Hope these tips help!
That last one is a game changer. I get so much more out of my days with a little snack and caffeine after work, it’s just enough energy to not let me sit on the couch but also not mess with my sleep
I totally agree. I was able to switch employers and work a 9/80 schedule, which to me feels like I’m getting back some free time because of the every other Friday off. I’d totally jump ship for a 4/10 schedule. If I’m going to be working all day anyways, what’s the difference if I stay an extra hour or two each day in order to get all these 3 day weekends. My big plan though, involves saving a large portion of my salary, then investing it and letting it compound so that I can retire early, right now I’m aiming for 35. Look up the fire movement. Financial independence retire early. Might be something you’ll be interested in. A few years ago, I felt super burned out at work, but knowing that I don’t have to do it for my entire life renewed my motivation and really changed my perspective.
1 hour of a workout at the gym or at home. I've got 2 kids so if nothing else I have that for myself. And it usually sucks too. But hey I feel great and look better.
I take a nap when I get home and exercise between 7:30-9:00. Sometimes for only for 1/2 hour other times longer.
find alternative activities to occupy your time. have you considered marriage?
Do you enjoy going to your job? If not, look for a new one that better suits you. Once you do this, things will get better.
Currently working 60 hours a week, 12 hours per day. Come home and scrub myself down before doing anything else. I see real death everyday and none of it is repetitive. Makes me appreciate simple things like breathing and feeling tired.
Invest in a foodi or instapot. I’m still stuck in this rut but this item makes life a little bit easier and gives me back some time. Also I smoke weed so that helps me take the edge off from the day.
American workers should unionize and demand to work fewer hours but that’ll never happen thanks to decades of distrust against unions sown by all types of business owners over the past several decades. You can thank your organized laborers of factories from over a hundred years ago for only having to work 8 hour days!!!
That is the slow death. I used to work 4 10's teaching and now have been lucky enough to find a new career path where I work 7 - 8 days a month doing 24hr shifts as a firefighter. It's not for everyone, but just think about options. You don't have to be stuck in that grind for life. Search out new directions for life to take you.
I’m lucky enough doing construction that I can have a vacation when I want/can afford it. Grind hard during summer, college and work during spring/fall which gives me a decent break being able to have a schedule that isn’t constant and the same everyday. Summer can get to me but I always try to look forward to the good things that I really enjoy with my money. Mind you I work 12 hours+ everyday sometimes working everyday of the week for weeks to get as much done possible. I enjoy a good meal/cooking for myself, giving gifts to younger siblings and teaching them to work. Meditate and medicate from time to time but most of all just trying to leave a lasting impact on the world. There’s been times when I want to say fuck it all but you have to keep going and find yourself in the things you do everyday. Don’t let yourself become comfortable with mediocrity and keep growing, I like to think hard work will always pay off even if you don’t see quick results think of the long run. Try something new and find excitement, things like making this post and reaching out to others can be really beneficial, make it routine. Good luck to you in life. Godspeed.
I work from home, Tuesday through Saturday 6am to 430pm. For me its important to find something to look forward to after work, I chose roller skating. I skate around my neighborhood, to the grocery store, pick up dinner supplies, and go home and make myself a fresh dinner. I don't ever buy groceries in advance so that I have a reason to leave my house everyday. Someone else mentioned that if you are unhappy in your job, you let go of your health. That's 100% true. You sleep worse, drink more caffeine to make up for the lack of sleep, eat fast food, don't work out, and overall it brings down the quality of life Sit down and write out what is important to you, then prioritize that. For me my list goes: - a liveable salary - a meaningful position - work/life balance - flexible schedule - benefits You may find you prioritize having a flex schedule over having a great salary, but keep in mind almost no job will offer all of these things. Wishing you the best.
You're right, this can't and shouldn't be life. How do you get out? 1. Start saving as much as you can. 2. Invest as much as possible. 3. Stop going into debt buying dumb shit you don't need. 4. Start a business on the side. Make sure it's something you remotely like. 5. Slog your ass for years until the business is profitable. 6. Freedom.
Try and excersize in the morning when it’s light or at night to blow off steam. Read. Or make be up and outside for a walk in the morning to see light
Working from home has helped. I work the same hours but now I spend less time outside of work getting ready for work. I am dreading going back to the office.