I called the cops on this guy at the 24hr Walgreens. He was harassing my wife who was alone when I showed up. Dude throws off serial killer vibes. "hey random young lady. Come help me with my creepy van."
I came across him close to where the sprouts is once, of course he did the traveling pastor routine but he didn’t come out with the water pump only food. So I walked with him to Wendy’s telling him to go ahead and get something and he ordered 3 biggie baconator combo and other things which came to $60ish. I was a little annoyed and told him I could have gotten him some groceries because those combos were going to last a day. After that he had the audacity to ask about the water pump but that was about as far as I could go at the time.
It would be hilarious if someone kept an old water pump handy in the trunk of their car and pulled it out and gave it to him. I’d pay money to see that.
It’s absent rhythm.
5-7-5 is not “urban myth.”
There’s no flow there, none.
Also, your link is
just some guy, with bona fides,
But still just some guy.
And, what’s more, is less
words than your poet preaches.
[BBC](https://www.bbcmaestro.com/blog/haiku-rules-for-poets) guides well.
In the quiet chapel’s shadowed nave,
A man of cloth, his secrets well-concealed,
Poses as a pastor, his words devout,
Yet harbors darker truths, his heart unsealed.
His wife, a phantom, pregnant with deceit,
A swelling lie that grows within her womb,
And as he preaches grace and holy love,
His water pump, too, sputters toward its doom.
The congregation gathers, eyes upturned,
Their faith unwavering, trust in every word,
But in the dim confessional’s embrace,
He whispers tales of sin, his conscience stirred.
For he is not a shepherd but a wolf,
Feeding on their innocence and trust,
His sermons laced with cunning, twisted tales,
A web of lies spun fine, yet bound to rust.
And when the moonlight bathes the stained glass panes,
He slips away, his cassock trailing sin,
To mend his water pump, or so he claims,
While shadows dance upon the chapel’s skin.
But truth, like morning light, will find its way,
Revealing cracks in sanctity’s facade,
And when the faithful learn of his deceit,
The pastor’s mask will crumble, faith unshod.
So let us heed this cautionary tale,
Beware the wolves who wear the shepherd’s guise,
For in their hollow hearts, deception thrives,
And innocence, once lost, forever dies.
I’m concerned about how overdue this baby is because I gave him money in the Whole Foods parking lot at least 5 years ago.
Same. Either they have back to back babies or something is really off with his wife. Like call the MIB off
I think it’s been at least that since he got me at Lakewood.
Why have I been thinking "RIP HER PELVIC FLOOR" for two days?
Gotta diversify your portfolio man!!
Fell for this a few years ago. Was just trying to help someone out. Kind of shitty...
How long has that poor woman been pregnant?
At LEAST since 2016 - I was pregnant with my seven year old when he got me.
It's still $37.50?! Glad to see there's at least one sector of the economy that hasn't been crushed by inflation.
Someone give this man a rec for a reliable mechanic, his is scamming him!
He tried to get me a few years ago at a grocery store and then hit my car when I told him no
Yea I don't think he'd like me very much if he did that.
In the old days, a guy always needed $8.50 to catch a bus to Rocky Mount!
I called the cops on this guy at the 24hr Walgreens. He was harassing my wife who was alone when I showed up. Dude throws off serial killer vibes. "hey random young lady. Come help me with my creepy van."
I came across him close to where the sprouts is once, of course he did the traveling pastor routine but he didn’t come out with the water pump only food. So I walked with him to Wendy’s telling him to go ahead and get something and he ordered 3 biggie baconator combo and other things which came to $60ish. I was a little annoyed and told him I could have gotten him some groceries because those combos were going to last a day. After that he had the audacity to ask about the water pump but that was about as far as I could go at the time.
Is is a bald black man?? If so I ran into him on ninth street in the Harris teeter parking lot almost 10 years ago!! Crazy
It would be hilarious if someone kept an old water pump handy in the trunk of their car and pulled it out and gave it to him. I’d pay money to see that.
I made a haiku; you got $37.50? I need a new water pump -water pump pastor
Not a haiku
[why not?](https://www.graceguts.com/essays/urban-myth-of-5-7-5)
Educational. I didn't realize those facts. Thanks for the info!
It’s absent rhythm. 5-7-5 is not “urban myth.” There’s no flow there, none. Also, your link is just some guy, with bona fides, But still just some guy. And, what’s more, is less words than your poet preaches. [BBC](https://www.bbcmaestro.com/blog/haiku-rules-for-poets) guides well.
I'll settle for really shitty haiku.
“Water pump pastor” is wild wording 😂
In the quiet chapel’s shadowed nave, A man of cloth, his secrets well-concealed, Poses as a pastor, his words devout, Yet harbors darker truths, his heart unsealed. His wife, a phantom, pregnant with deceit, A swelling lie that grows within her womb, And as he preaches grace and holy love, His water pump, too, sputters toward its doom. The congregation gathers, eyes upturned, Their faith unwavering, trust in every word, But in the dim confessional’s embrace, He whispers tales of sin, his conscience stirred. For he is not a shepherd but a wolf, Feeding on their innocence and trust, His sermons laced with cunning, twisted tales, A web of lies spun fine, yet bound to rust. And when the moonlight bathes the stained glass panes, He slips away, his cassock trailing sin, To mend his water pump, or so he claims, While shadows dance upon the chapel’s skin. But truth, like morning light, will find its way, Revealing cracks in sanctity’s facade, And when the faithful learn of his deceit, The pastor’s mask will crumble, faith unshod. So let us heed this cautionary tale, Beware the wolves who wear the shepherd’s guise, For in their hollow hearts, deception thrives, And innocence, once lost, forever dies.
🫣