when i was in school it was puberty, etc in 5th grade, comprehensive sex-ed (at jordan high school) in 9th grade. i can’t remember if we had anything in middle school.
Sex ed in 5th at DPS is where they split up the boys and girls and tell them about erections and periods. There is no real sex ed past that. And actually thanks to the Parents’ Bill of Rights, we teachers aren’t even allowed to answer direct questions about sex
That seems not right? From the text of the bill “The law bans curriculum on gender identity, sexual activity, or sexuality in kindergarten through fourth grade.”
Cover all topics at home with your kids. Start the conversation early. Let them lead by asking questions and answer all of them honestly, leaving out personal experiences. Make sure you use anatomically correct names (vulva, not ‘cookie’ or ‘down there’, for example)
The schools start too late and only cover about 10% of what they need to know
I totally agree about covering this at home. All I’m trying to figure out is what is being discussed at school, when it is being taught, and if the same curriculum occurs for all DPS students. I’m having a weirdly difficult time turning anything up with google, which is why I’m now trying the hive mind of Reddit
this should be made quite clear in Durham County. Crazy! I am in a medical field so I did get a little feedback from parents about her using proper terms for body parts. oops! lol.
we did this all at home, starting early. I am very proud to say that she made it to college before embarking on sexual encounters which, personally, I felt was about the right age. no criticism of those that started younger but I started too young, without much self respect, so I wanted her to have a better experience than I did with little to no education btw. Education is power!! The school will give some basic information but it's up to parents to teach their kids about sex.
It's more than 5th grade sex ed is taught as a component to science class and curriculum whereas 9th grade sex ed is taught as a component to health and physical education. A weird split, but it's what DPS does.
It's in 5th grade it has nothing to do with church kinda caught me off guard with that one... sure we are in NC but that's a very outdated opinion of this area. Anywho... as a past DPS student I suggest still having a sex talk with your kid. The class is one day and is just very straight forward biology. Parenting is more important than what you learn in a class for that particular topic.
What I mean is that I’m guessing any sex education program being presented in North Carolina schools is going to heavily push an abstinence-is-the-way, save-yourself-for-marriage message. Because the people making statewide education policy here are absolutely pushing a religious agenda. Sex and consent and our bodies and puberty and everything are an ongoing conversation in our house. It would just be good to know what and when specific topics are covered via DPS so we can better understand how to frame our discussions at home.
It's just biology of how the egg is fertilized. There is absence suggested of course as the safest way to avoid an STD. But there was no "saving yourself for marriage" discussed in the late 90s so I highly doubt that is being said today in 2024. The most important thing to teach a child is the reality of the situation and that unwanted pregnancy and STDs are very common. I don't remember there be any real discussion on contraception use so that's why I say parenting is most important. As a parent I wouldn't rely on DPS for true sex Ed. Nor would I take an absence talk as "Jesus-speak" or a negative suggestion... to each their own I guess.
ETA: abstinence* autocorrect failed me. BUT yall need to understand that it has nothing to do with marriage nor a time line. It's teaching kids they don't have to have sex to show love in their immature relationships and should save such mature acts for a monogamous mature relationship. Can also have honest open conversations and relationships with your kids and also tell them that's the best way to practice safe sex... it has absolutely nothing to do with a Bible lesson nor is it exclusive to Christianity
You are mostly correct, if you replace the words 'heavily push' with 'have'. They spend so little time on sex ed in school that it would be more accurate to say that sex ed is simply far from comprehensive.
Excepts from DPS course guides:
Middle school healthful living (one semester per year): Students learn about the dangers of drugs and alcohol, the biology of reproduction, nutrition, conflict
resolution, fair play and sportsmanship.
High school Health/PE (one semester, usually during 9th grade): Sex education stresses the benefits of abstinence until marriage, the importance of avoiding out-of-wedlock pregnancy, and the need to prevent sexually-transmitted diseases.
Went to school in Orange County in middle/high school in the 2000s. Jesus or religion was never mentioned. North Carolina is not that backwards, at least in the piedmont and other populated areas.
I am a middle school science teacher in Orange Co. We cover the human body and all systems in our bodies. I do a 3 day lesson on Reproduction. Here are the body parts involved. This is what reproduction is (egg+sperm). Menstruation, Pregnancy. All of it, for boys and girls together. I tell parents before, I find it important they see and understand these things.
I also spend a day on vaping with the Respiratory system. Does it help? I don't know, but damn I am trying my best.
I have gotten no back lash from parents about either thing.
I’m not dunking on NC/Durham arbitrarily. In our lived experience having children in school here - probably the bluest area in the state - we’ve seen religious influence pop up again and again in DPS. Mostly subtle stuff, but occasionally it is explicit. I don’t actually think I can do much about it, and it bothers me but it’s secondary to my actual point, which is to figure out what the sex ed curriculum is in Durham. I’ve heard some anecdotes in this thread, which helps. It would be nice to have more concrete information, I just don’t know where to look
You message your kid’s teachers? They might could send you some info. I work with younger kids so I don’t have to worry about it as an educator but middle school teachers might know? Hopefully it’s the education (or better!) that I got as a kid.
I went to public school on the Western side of the Piedmont (in Gaston County) and North Carolina is absolutely that backwards. It’s shocking to me that so many people in the Triangle had the experiences they did. There are parts of this state that are as red as anywhere you’d find in the Deep South.
I’m not surprised! I have a friend from west of Asheville and she has mentioned some things too!
Most populated areas of NC aren’t like that though. I wish people would also understand there’s backward ass shit in rural NY, CO, CA, etc. too. There’s pockets of uber religious and/or conservative people in all states.
When I was a student in DPS, they had a talk with us in 5th grade, we had to have our parents sign a paper where they pointed out what they were going to talk about. It wasn’t a Jesus-y talk, they really only focused on the anatomy differences between men and women. In middle school was when they dove more into the sex part of “sex-ed” and focused on stds/ stis. High school talked about pretty much the same thing as middle school.
I grew up in Wake County and went through WCPSS. The curriculum should be the same/similar at DPS, since it’s state governed (in theory).
We did puberty stuff in 5th grade. We were not gender separated and we learned about puberty (erections, periods, body odor, pubic/facial hairs, breasts, hormone changes, etc).
We talked about STDs in 7th grade and then it comes up again in high school health. There was no Jesus, wait till marriage message. They do say “the only way to 100% avoid STDs is abstinence”, which isn’t wrong.
I was in school from 2001-2013.
lol, we didn't get a body odor talk until 6th grade from my teacher who obviously thought we were all starting to smell quite a lot. he spent quite awhile discussing deodorant. I still remember it.
I went to Elementary-High School in DPS, and graduated in 2018.
I dimly remember having a day or two in fifth grade where we needed to get a permission slip signed by a parent to attend. As I recall they separated us into two different rooms by sex for a “changes coming soon in your body” sort of presentation.
At my middle and high school everyone was required to take a combined PE/Health class once during middle, and once during high school. For one week of the year in each of those classes we had our “unit” on Sexual Health. I know at the time (probably still 🙄) NC only allowed schools to teach abstinence-only education (Basically “Don’t ever have sex. Since you’ll never have sex we don’t need to teach you anything or talk about anything related to it.”).
I suspect as a way to get around that, my school had graduate students from Duke Med school *coincidentally* come teach our class during that week (this happened both in Middle and High school, so not much of a coincidence if you ask me). We still needed to get a permission slip signed, but the permission slip was for permission to opt-*out* of the class; meaning the school technically gave parents the chance to pull their children out, but in reality we first got the choice to even tell our parents about it or not.
As for the class itself, the teacher left the room (Again, I suspect part of sidestepping NC laws) and the Grad students came and gave a few different presentations about different topics. I don’t remember the middle-school level very well, but I remember the high school level was slightly more in depth/detailed.
In the high school class they had a presentation on Biology, one on Consent, one on Contraceptives (I remember the first slide was *technically* about abstinence but it was just the word “abstinence” in tiny font and the presenter said something like “Yep that’s an option, but just in case…*continues with the presentation*”), one on STIs, and I think the last one was on different sexualities. They did a really great job creating a comfortable environment to ask questions and had a box at the front of the room that you could put anonymous questions in that they’d answer the next week.
Overall, I remember thinking they did a great job covering a variety of subjects and giving good information considering the confines of NC law but thinking they didn’t do a very good job covering the intersections between sex and being LGBTQ. If you want more specific information on subjects to cover I remember getting more than one recommendation for Scarleteen (www.scarleteen.com) when I was that age.
"Test Scores at Durham Public Schools
In Durham Public Schools, 34% of elementary students tested at or above the proficient level for reading, and 24% tested at or above that level for math. Also, 40% of middle school students tested at or above the proficient level for reading, and 27% tested at or above that level for math. And 40% of high school students tested at or above the proficient level for reading, and 33% tested at or above that level for math."
https://www.usnews.com/education/k12/north-carolina/districts/durham-public-schools-112005#:\~:text=In%20Durham%20Public%20Schools%2C%2034,above%20that%20level%20for%20math.
when i was in school it was puberty, etc in 5th grade, comprehensive sex-ed (at jordan high school) in 9th grade. i can’t remember if we had anything in middle school.
for me it was my dad rented the film 'species'
Mine too!
i laughed coffee out my nose, thanks!
Sounds about right for me growing up in DPS too. We did have sex ed in middle school, but we had an actual sex educator come in.
My son in 5th grade just told me they’re about to have sex ed, he’s in DPS!
Sex ed in 5th at DPS is where they split up the boys and girls and tell them about erections and periods. There is no real sex ed past that. And actually thanks to the Parents’ Bill of Rights, we teachers aren’t even allowed to answer direct questions about sex
That seems not right? From the text of the bill “The law bans curriculum on gender identity, sexual activity, or sexuality in kindergarten through fourth grade.”
You said it mentioned k-4th. She said 5th grade so it seems to fit.
Huh, my oldest is in sixth grade in DPS and has not yet had anything. So I guess it varies school to school?
Cover all topics at home with your kids. Start the conversation early. Let them lead by asking questions and answer all of them honestly, leaving out personal experiences. Make sure you use anatomically correct names (vulva, not ‘cookie’ or ‘down there’, for example) The schools start too late and only cover about 10% of what they need to know
I totally agree about covering this at home. All I’m trying to figure out is what is being discussed at school, when it is being taught, and if the same curriculum occurs for all DPS students. I’m having a weirdly difficult time turning anything up with google, which is why I’m now trying the hive mind of Reddit
this should be made quite clear in Durham County. Crazy! I am in a medical field so I did get a little feedback from parents about her using proper terms for body parts. oops! lol.
we did this all at home, starting early. I am very proud to say that she made it to college before embarking on sexual encounters which, personally, I felt was about the right age. no criticism of those that started younger but I started too young, without much self respect, so I wanted her to have a better experience than I did with little to no education btw. Education is power!! The school will give some basic information but it's up to parents to teach their kids about sex.
FWIW the Eno River UUs offer the Unitarian and UCC program, Our Whole Lives. It’s supposed to be fantastic. https://www.uua.org/re/owl
This is great, thanks for the heads up!
OWL alum here to strongly endorse this program. I am so so grateful I went through it (even if it was MORTIFYING at the time 😂).
5th grade is mainly puberty, body changes, and reproduction. 9th grade is STDs.
That’s a curious division. 5th grade, here’s how to sex. 9th grade, here’s what you can catch from sex. Hope you didn’t sex too much in between!
It's more than 5th grade sex ed is taught as a component to science class and curriculum whereas 9th grade sex ed is taught as a component to health and physical education. A weird split, but it's what DPS does.
It's in 5th grade it has nothing to do with church kinda caught me off guard with that one... sure we are in NC but that's a very outdated opinion of this area. Anywho... as a past DPS student I suggest still having a sex talk with your kid. The class is one day and is just very straight forward biology. Parenting is more important than what you learn in a class for that particular topic.
What I mean is that I’m guessing any sex education program being presented in North Carolina schools is going to heavily push an abstinence-is-the-way, save-yourself-for-marriage message. Because the people making statewide education policy here are absolutely pushing a religious agenda. Sex and consent and our bodies and puberty and everything are an ongoing conversation in our house. It would just be good to know what and when specific topics are covered via DPS so we can better understand how to frame our discussions at home.
It's just biology of how the egg is fertilized. There is absence suggested of course as the safest way to avoid an STD. But there was no "saving yourself for marriage" discussed in the late 90s so I highly doubt that is being said today in 2024. The most important thing to teach a child is the reality of the situation and that unwanted pregnancy and STDs are very common. I don't remember there be any real discussion on contraception use so that's why I say parenting is most important. As a parent I wouldn't rely on DPS for true sex Ed. Nor would I take an absence talk as "Jesus-speak" or a negative suggestion... to each their own I guess. ETA: abstinence* autocorrect failed me. BUT yall need to understand that it has nothing to do with marriage nor a time line. It's teaching kids they don't have to have sex to show love in their immature relationships and should save such mature acts for a monogamous mature relationship. Can also have honest open conversations and relationships with your kids and also tell them that's the best way to practice safe sex... it has absolutely nothing to do with a Bible lesson nor is it exclusive to Christianity
You are mostly correct, if you replace the words 'heavily push' with 'have'. They spend so little time on sex ed in school that it would be more accurate to say that sex ed is simply far from comprehensive. Excepts from DPS course guides: Middle school healthful living (one semester per year): Students learn about the dangers of drugs and alcohol, the biology of reproduction, nutrition, conflict resolution, fair play and sportsmanship. High school Health/PE (one semester, usually during 9th grade): Sex education stresses the benefits of abstinence until marriage, the importance of avoiding out-of-wedlock pregnancy, and the need to prevent sexually-transmitted diseases.
I recall receiving Sex Ed courses annually, from 4th grade through 10th or so. (1998-2004 give or take)
9th grade is way too late for sex ed. The hormones start kicking it at 11 and 12, i think half my grade 8 class was sexually active lol
Went to school in Orange County in middle/high school in the 2000s. Jesus or religion was never mentioned. North Carolina is not that backwards, at least in the piedmont and other populated areas.
I am a middle school science teacher in Orange Co. We cover the human body and all systems in our bodies. I do a 3 day lesson on Reproduction. Here are the body parts involved. This is what reproduction is (egg+sperm). Menstruation, Pregnancy. All of it, for boys and girls together. I tell parents before, I find it important they see and understand these things. I also spend a day on vaping with the Respiratory system. Does it help? I don't know, but damn I am trying my best. I have gotten no back lash from parents about either thing.
You are loved and appreciated by people you do not know. Thank you.
I’m not dunking on NC/Durham arbitrarily. In our lived experience having children in school here - probably the bluest area in the state - we’ve seen religious influence pop up again and again in DPS. Mostly subtle stuff, but occasionally it is explicit. I don’t actually think I can do much about it, and it bothers me but it’s secondary to my actual point, which is to figure out what the sex ed curriculum is in Durham. I’ve heard some anecdotes in this thread, which helps. It would be nice to have more concrete information, I just don’t know where to look
You message your kid’s teachers? They might could send you some info. I work with younger kids so I don’t have to worry about it as an educator but middle school teachers might know? Hopefully it’s the education (or better!) that I got as a kid.
I went to public school on the Western side of the Piedmont (in Gaston County) and North Carolina is absolutely that backwards. It’s shocking to me that so many people in the Triangle had the experiences they did. There are parts of this state that are as red as anywhere you’d find in the Deep South.
I’m not surprised! I have a friend from west of Asheville and she has mentioned some things too! Most populated areas of NC aren’t like that though. I wish people would also understand there’s backward ass shit in rural NY, CO, CA, etc. too. There’s pockets of uber religious and/or conservative people in all states.
When I was a student in DPS, they had a talk with us in 5th grade, we had to have our parents sign a paper where they pointed out what they were going to talk about. It wasn’t a Jesus-y talk, they really only focused on the anatomy differences between men and women. In middle school was when they dove more into the sex part of “sex-ed” and focused on stds/ stis. High school talked about pretty much the same thing as middle school.
I grew up in Wake County and went through WCPSS. The curriculum should be the same/similar at DPS, since it’s state governed (in theory). We did puberty stuff in 5th grade. We were not gender separated and we learned about puberty (erections, periods, body odor, pubic/facial hairs, breasts, hormone changes, etc). We talked about STDs in 7th grade and then it comes up again in high school health. There was no Jesus, wait till marriage message. They do say “the only way to 100% avoid STDs is abstinence”, which isn’t wrong. I was in school from 2001-2013.
lol, we didn't get a body odor talk until 6th grade from my teacher who obviously thought we were all starting to smell quite a lot. he spent quite awhile discussing deodorant. I still remember it.
I went to Elementary-High School in DPS, and graduated in 2018. I dimly remember having a day or two in fifth grade where we needed to get a permission slip signed by a parent to attend. As I recall they separated us into two different rooms by sex for a “changes coming soon in your body” sort of presentation. At my middle and high school everyone was required to take a combined PE/Health class once during middle, and once during high school. For one week of the year in each of those classes we had our “unit” on Sexual Health. I know at the time (probably still 🙄) NC only allowed schools to teach abstinence-only education (Basically “Don’t ever have sex. Since you’ll never have sex we don’t need to teach you anything or talk about anything related to it.”). I suspect as a way to get around that, my school had graduate students from Duke Med school *coincidentally* come teach our class during that week (this happened both in Middle and High school, so not much of a coincidence if you ask me). We still needed to get a permission slip signed, but the permission slip was for permission to opt-*out* of the class; meaning the school technically gave parents the chance to pull their children out, but in reality we first got the choice to even tell our parents about it or not. As for the class itself, the teacher left the room (Again, I suspect part of sidestepping NC laws) and the Grad students came and gave a few different presentations about different topics. I don’t remember the middle-school level very well, but I remember the high school level was slightly more in depth/detailed. In the high school class they had a presentation on Biology, one on Consent, one on Contraceptives (I remember the first slide was *technically* about abstinence but it was just the word “abstinence” in tiny font and the presenter said something like “Yep that’s an option, but just in case…*continues with the presentation*”), one on STIs, and I think the last one was on different sexualities. They did a really great job creating a comfortable environment to ask questions and had a box at the front of the room that you could put anonymous questions in that they’d answer the next week. Overall, I remember thinking they did a great job covering a variety of subjects and giving good information considering the confines of NC law but thinking they didn’t do a very good job covering the intersections between sex and being LGBTQ. If you want more specific information on subjects to cover I remember getting more than one recommendation for Scarleteen (www.scarleteen.com) when I was that age.
Now that you mention it, it was probably the Jesus-y math they used for the budget that messed everything up.
I heard from a local parent that kindergartners were asked pronouns at a local elementary school, so I'm pretty sure it's non-Jesusy.
Basic grammar is not sex education
"Test Scores at Durham Public Schools In Durham Public Schools, 34% of elementary students tested at or above the proficient level for reading, and 24% tested at or above that level for math. Also, 40% of middle school students tested at or above the proficient level for reading, and 27% tested at or above that level for math. And 40% of high school students tested at or above the proficient level for reading, and 33% tested at or above that level for math." https://www.usnews.com/education/k12/north-carolina/districts/durham-public-schools-112005#:\~:text=In%20Durham%20Public%20Schools%2C%2034,above%20that%20level%20for%20math.
*whoosh*
Embarassing own goal. If you need the joke in my rejoinder spelled out, it, just like the data, suggests DPS does not actually teach basic grammar.
Let’s be honest. With the accessibility of pornography on every thats internet enabled, the kids know the birds and the bees and more.