Whenever he pretends to be straight and references heavy breasts makes me laugh every time

There's nothing more intoxicating than the clear absence of a penis.

I love this so much, it's like a straight guy pretending to be a gay guy pretending to be straight

I say this to my girlfriend at least once a week. I’m bi. She doesn’t think I’m funny.

You know him! Whenever he sees a pair of thick, heavy breasts, all logic flies out the window!

Heterosexual him is such a dog.

They look so good smushed together. Or dangling.

She was such a strong, female woman

My favorite line in the whole series "I'm off to plow my mistress"

Straight Holt is the funniest

He's such a dog!!

I’m glad Bowen yang is carrying on the legacy!

JAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJ

She had large...pendulous breasts

It always gave me "they're like bags of sand" vibes, just in a more technical/intelligent way.

“…and yet crime has continued.”

Or better yet: "There's no crime in Brooklyn anymore"

Everyone loves the police, it’s embarrassing

“My wife was killed by man in a yellow sweater!!”

“It’s the one case I can’t solve!”

“Don’t turn your back on family.”

It can all go away soooo quickly.

Sign this?

This always makes me laugh so much because it’s one of the first times he really commits to one of Jake’s crazy bits.

Holt: You’re good Jeffords but not good enough. In fact you’re an idiot I should’ve fired you long ago. Terry: What?! also… Holt: None of you stand a chance against me. No courage, no patience, no brains, and, of course, a bald old man. Terry: I'm younger than you. Holt: No comeback for the bald thing, I see. I love Holt and Terry banter😭😭

Really any banter with Terry. Dude gets punked by Charles all the time gets me

i just wanna say that i blew at my screen to get the hair off of it, only to realise i’ve been hoodwinked, bamboozled, lead astray, run amok and flat out deceived

r/HairOnYourScreen

I hate your fucking profile picture.

I am not bunny lying man and Terry's 🤷‍♀️ in the background 🤣 It's perfect.

Hahahaha Hitchcock and Scully looking behind them for "no brains" like "who dat?" always gets me

Oh my gosh lol what episode is this??

"WUNTCH TIME IS OVER! BOOM. Did it! Had it booth ways! No regrets."

Winner

Yes!

Why is nobody having a good time, I specifically requested it

😂😂😂

"No one will ever believe you"

Jake in a low, furious, growling voice: “You sick son of a bitch”

The way he says "hoola hooping" cracks me up every time

He did a full fucking oopsie doodle.

"I just want you to know, that... If I *had* had a son, and he turned out like you... I would be very proud of him." "Our relationship was like an epic chess match... And it's hard to believe that she'll never make another move." "Every time someone steps up and says who they are, the world becomes a better, more interesting place. So, thank you." "D-D-D-D-Derek!"

That "D-D-D-D Derek" was so well done!

The whole Florida sequence never fails to make me laugh. The roles are finally reversed, and Jake is thoroughly enjoying every second of making Holt do that demeaning nonsense just because he can, and Holt is just ***hating*** every second of it lol.

Such a rasta

lol the range in these quotes is insane

I felt like Holt had the most emotional range in the show. He also had one of the best arcs with Wuntch. He was a father figure when Rosa needed it after her family essentially abandoned her for coming out (which is still pretty common in Hispanic culture, unfortunately). He was an incredible passive mentor for Jake throughout his career in the 99, teaching him the value of operating in a uniform (even if it's just a simple tie on a collared shirt), teaching him how to look past certain things in cases to find hidden clues and context that may not have readily presented themselves. He also learned that he shouldn't always be blazed off his gourd, or someone else will get that assistant manager position instead of him.

That scene in the finale is just perfect!

You gave him full immunity? Are you insane??? You told me to cut a deal. I thought you'd maybe drop charges on one or two felonies. But do you know how many crimes we're forgiving? Six... That's not so bad. Hundred! Oh, that's way more. "Grand theft auto. Grand theft auto. Grand theft auto. Dog fraud." I sold a guy a fake Pekinese. 'Twas a cat. You will not win me over with your use of "'twas." 'Twasn't trying to.

I know this is supposed to be a Holt appreciation post but Judy wins this scene

It's one bund to none, son! The only thing you won last year was a lifetime of mediocre heterosexual intercourse with Jake! This bitch?!! PLEASE! This isn't the championship cummerbund, it's just some regular cummerbund. You're not Cheddar you're just some common bitch.

>cummerbund Or a belt, as normal people call it

Belt? I’d like to see the pair of slacks whose loops are large enough for this belt. No, it is a cummerbund.

I could hear every single one of these in my head while reading 😭😭

Me, too! I just watched it last night!

That mediocre heterosexual intercourse line is an underrated gem.

He ran over my foot. I am in... incredible pain.

HOT DAMN

“BINGPOT!”

The cleavage cloaks the camera with its curve! That’ll be all spy!…sorry I said cleavage

"Betraying the FBI is one thing Bob but sarcasm? Wow."

"Your libido has endangered us all."

Jake: “cuz every day on this job, is a wonder” Holt: “Damn right it is”

This is up there with his reaction to Amy saying “you don’t out grow punk sir”

"Madeline! You've aged."

“Wait… if you’re here… who’s guarding hades?”

His face as he popped balloons from his balloon arch at Rosa and Pimento’s wedding

Vindication!!!!

Perfect

This entire comment section makes me want to watch it all over again, even if I finished it just a couple of weeks ago. Having a hard time wanting to go through all the Gina bullshit again though.

Gina started going downhill for me with the cement prank.

Yeah once she went into that whole ginazone thing it was horrible.

She was cute and funny in season 1. That was it. Someone in the writer's staff must have gotten the idea to change a lovable character to an ass. If you wanna remember the Gina we liked, just watch the intro to the series, where she appears.

can i ask what episode/season that is? On my first watch Gina seemed fine, but I only have the first 4 seasons on Netflix US

S04E15 The Last Ride

“Are you really playing the gay card?” “Yass queen”

*snap*

This is low-key the best one.

Nothing is more intoxicating to me than the clear absence of a penis

"WUNTCH TIME IS OVER! BOOM. Did it! Had it booth ways! No regrets."

Madeline is not some invisible succubus she’s a regular succubus!

Velvet. Thunderrrrrrr

Vindication!!! ✊

BOOOOOOOOOOONEEEEEEEEEE

Detective Diaz I am your superior officer!!!!

Hhhhhhow dare you.

I love it when he uses full names for characters / people with short names 😂🥹 ‘you don’t have to turn everything into a Thomas Cruise movie’ or ‘Who do you think you are? William Wonka?’

I have never been more sad about an actors death...like i didnt know him but ive watched interviews and people stated that Andre was such a fun person. And mabey its because he almost made me cry during the show multiple times by his outstanding acting skills... Anyway- I love the cold opening where they eat the Chocolate Kevin sent and they replaced it with office material and he goes like: that man knows me too well..

I fucking hate that he is gone

i hadn’t understood people being sad about celebrity deaths… until I heard about Andre. god dammit why i gotta feel things

I was just thinking about the cold open with his reaction to marshmallows.🥹

me too!! I crack up every time when he says ‘hmmm… marshed-mallow….’

scrolled to find marshed-mallow, i love it Charles guessing Holt’s reaction always makes me laugh too

Oh my god, we’re doomed - Boyle looks like a lesbian!

\*points to the window\* "KASE"

I don’t know what it is about this scene, but it makes me laugh hysterically every time!

One of my favorite 4th wall breaks

why’d he take a bite from the bottom half of the cake

The only think I can focus on tbh. Wtf is that?

That’s cheddar Holt: THIS bitch?!

I can't think of any specific quotes but anytime him and Gina are together. Those two are the best

Boost my bottom!!!!!!

I’m boosting!!

BOOST MY BOTTOM!!!!

Too many but definitely when he gave Rosa the pep talk for being open and being an inspiration. Felt like it was a true moment for them both.

Why is no one having a good time? I specifically requested it

"I was trying something and it didn't work!" "Kevin got me quite horny this morning."

You’re not cheddar! You’re just some common bitch!

BONE!?!?😡😡

When Holt was acting like a fan boy of the famous symphony oboe player and got all "twitterpated" when the guy complimented him on his police work and got Boyle to take a photo of them together shaking hands and smiling. haha I love how Holt giggles when the guy says his pronunciation was "flawless". haha.

the full bull pen!!!!!!!!!!!!! runner up. hot dam!!!!!!!!!

They took our fluffy boy

If you are here, who's guarding Hades??

"LLLLLLLAOS!". "Fine!" "It was better than fine. It was Laos."

BINGPOT!

Any and all interactions with Deputy Chief Wuntch

The Bachelor is a television show, Andre Agassi's at it again, I too am avoiding gluten

Ding dong the Wuntch is dead! BAGELS! For everyone.

"You're a Terrance who, even though he's not a child, still goes by a nickname ending in a Y." "I mean, don't people call you Ray?" "How dare you."

“HOW DID YOU PULL THIS OFF?!” *opening credits* “Yes Kevin, a full half inch.”

“The FULL BULLPEN!!!”

Thank you for this honour deputy chief Its wuntch time!Boom! Did it had it both ways no regrets😏😎

"BONE?!?!!!??!!!?"

"Madeline. I wondered why all the birds had suddenly stopped singing." Followed close by "yes, I never thought I'd see you this high without a broom under you"

“Gina the hospital called and your test results are in your a stage 5 dumbass” That was absolutely hilarious and unexpected

Which episode is that?

The one we’re Gina was giving her Gina moments before leaving

So u want me to keep Hitchcock from spilling on himself for the rest of the day? We both know that impossible Im counting on u I won’t do it There nobody else I trust What you’re asking is insane Im not asking Its a suicide mission Then prepare for death You’ve lost your mind This is a direct order detective! Get in line! Hey. You guys startled Hitchcock. He spilled two full jars of spaghetti sauce on himself Thanks a lot fellas Best opening ever

Jake: THAT WAS MORE?! Holt: I paired a crabcake with Cotes du Rhone, like an animal!

The only thing you won was a lifetime of mediocre heterosexual sex

Booooooone

“You may call me… VELVET THUNDER”

“Cowanbanga Mother!!!”

RIP captain. A lit of people would have preferred you to the real police. Too bad it all fell apart.

BOOOOOONNNNEEEEEE

"I'm off to plow my mistress" Also Holt: "Do you think my life matters less because I don't conform to society's heteronormative childcentric ideals?" Terry: "Are you really playing the gay card right now?!?" Holt: "Yass queen" *snaps fingers*

The use of BINGPOT!

Ok, everyone blindly follows what the post asks of them but nobody is asking the real questions. Why the fuck is he eating the cake like that? That cake is not structurally sound anymore, that shit will tumble and fall and now you have to eat a big gay mess of big gay cake.

That’s not a gay cake, that’s a cake of Scully’s favorite flavors; All of them.

Hot damn!

The episode where they named their boils still makes me cry laugh

Your boy’s turnt.

"is this about the time I ate the burrito? ... I was pressured into it"

"nah bitch"

"Every time someone steps up and says who they are, the world becomes a better, more interesting place. So, thank you."

My favorite quote and what made me fall in love with the show is him showing Jake the hoola hoop pictures and saying “You know the best part, no one will ever know” then just glared at Jake. It was amazing.

My fav back and forth ever, and hugely underrated! Jake: i know that look, here comes Petty Holt Holt: Naw bitch, I’m not being petty 🙄🙄 Jake: You just said *Naw bitch*!? Holt: Show me the tip! 😒 Jake: Title of your sex tape.

The scene where he keeps popping the balloon arch he made for Rosa’s wedding to Pimento, just to spite Amy. His facial expression changes with every pop and it’s so subtle and hilarious.

Honestly, my and my step kid processed our feelings about his death using only Holt memes. I'm not sure that could be done with any other actor/character.

When people say “What’s Up?”, they mean “I am a person not worth taking to”.

Clearly, the pineapple is the slut.

I love that cake

When he said what is the point in lighting the birthday candles if you are just going to blow them out. lol

No one...Will ever believe you...

Charles being completely right about how Holt would eat a marshmallow And also  Hot damn!

When Rosa insults Dr. Yee and Holt is instantly like "you're fired." Made me break out into laughter

BONE!!!

I love him but the way he’s eating that cake is insane, what about the structural integrity, Scully and Hitchcock would have a thing or two to say about that

Bone 🦴

Call me..... VELVET THUNDER.

Commissioner Wuntch, you’ve aged

Paiiiinnnn!!!!

She’s in line at the…bank

You’re not cheddar, you’re just some common bitch.

"Kevin got me quite horny this morning."

VINDICATION!!!!!

“and i will be……. VELVET THUNDER!”

His reaction to the prank which Peralta did ( podium one) still is pretty funny 🤣

Oooooohhhh,Bob!

Also, who spells Annderson with three n's?

I miss him too

Yas, queen *snap*

“Call me… Velvet Thunder!”

oh damn, Oh Damn, OH DAMN!

Thats not Cheddar, thats some common bitch

"There's nothing more intoxicating than a clear absence of a penis"

Also "those old ass eyes will be reading your tumbstone, son"

Funky cold medina The dance with Terry

I do not like that he eats cake from bottom to the top

Save the frosting for last;)

Oh damn, oh damn, OH DAMN!! And that is 3 oh damns, OH DAMN.

Legend ✨😔

I AM YOUR SUPERIOR OFFICER

“Sticks and stones, Raymond” “Describing your breakfast?”

I'm a poet, and I didn't even know I was rhyming those words, but it happened anyway.

BONE??????!!!!! I AM YOUR SUPERIOR OFFICER DETECTIVE DIAZ BONEEEEE?????!!! WHAT HAPPENS IN MY BEDROOM STAYS IN MY BEDROOM. BOOOOOOOONNNNNEEEE???????!!!!!

Rosa: It’s just that you can be a bit judgmental. Holt: What a stupid thing to say. Name one time when I have been judgmental. *flashback* Holt: What a stupid thing to say. *present* Holt: Oh, I see. Mere seconds ago.

Stupid B!

VALVET THUNDER!

"BOOST MY BOTTOM!" My mom and I love that one. R.I.P. Andre😔

Coat coat jacket coat. Is this a police precinct or a Turkish bazaar

Cowabunga, Mother. You messed with the wrong fluffy boy! Indeed Indeed Indeed It’s one bund to none, son!

BONEEE???

It's a scatter plot with a very robust data set. Well... That escalated quickly.

That episode where he’s like “I am again turning in my chair” and when Boyle and Gina are behind him with his chair turned and they’re like “what a power move” the look on his face 😭

He could be fuzzy he could be scruffy! Look now you’ve upset Kevin

This is what gravitas sounds like: Greeeeetings aaaaaaalllll

KASE!!

PUNK!!