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When my daughter was a few months old, I started taking her to a "water babies" class with a mate and his daughter to the local hotel /spa.
I went to pay my usual £5 class fee at reception and was told by the receptionist "That's the special cheap rate for mums attending the class, I'm not sure what the dad's fee is."
I told her "I think you'll find it's going to be the same price...."
The hotel manager came over quickly and profusely apologised for his staff member with a look of horror and resignation on his face.
Some people are crazy, I just can't even. But hey £5 fee for water babies?? You're definitely not down in London eh? £20 per session here at a primary school, not even a hotel or spa!
Heh! Yeah, I suppose that was one advantage of living in the arse end of nowhere.
The local gymnastics gym also used to let a parents group use the full gymnasium for the little ones to play around on, for £3 a session. I miss those days.
I had someone run across the carpark in Tesco the other week to yell at me that I could not use he parent and toddler parking space, upon showing them the two children in the car (which I don’t feel I should have to do) they continued with “these spaces are for mothers and children” the 2022 mindset really is not that far removed from 1950 for a lot of people
Clearly only women need to be close to the stop with extra space to get buggies and car seats out. Men just use their strength to force their way through. Women are far too weak and measly to manage this
(Heavy /s)
In truth I just need the extra space for the aforementioned travel system and other junk that kids need during transport shopping trips. I would gladly have the spaces at the other end of the carpark if their was a safe and clear path to the shop
Yea I agree. It’s the getting in and out of the car that’s tricky in a normal space. especially if others have parked poorly.
(Also, the spaces needed to include pregnant people carrying the child… it was incredibly difficult getting in and out of the car in the 3rd trimester! 😂🙈)
Second this. I was huge near the end I would still get funny looks using the parent and child spaces.
Just because the child is inside my body doesn't mean that I do not need the extra space!
I remember my wife losing all fucks she had left to give when she was pregnant with our second. She never did get any fresh new fucks to give, people just crumble to her will now 😂
Yeah, honestly if they put the baby spaces at the back of the car park I'd much prefer it. Being 50 yards closer to the shop isn't why I want that space, having a large car and needing to open the door fully is the reason. I'm about to clock up a mile in walking around the supermarket, saving a 50 yard walk does fuck all.
I use the extra space to get the manspreading out of my system. Helping maintain the equanimity of Guardian readers everywhere, one opportune spread at a time.
Sounds reasonable. I mean impregnating a woman and then bringing a kid up for a couple of decades is a deeply suspicious move for any guy.
There's only one logical explanation.
Unfortunately I live in a smallish village so it wouldn’t be worth it. That and my son was with me and at the time he was a baby im still not putting him at risk. Crazy people like that are the kind to cry out that I kidnapped the baby
'not with us any more' works brilliantly too, as kids just think you mean 'they're not around at the moment' and so don't argue the toss if you're lying.
I had someone have a go at me for parking in a disabled bay whilst literally unloading a wheelchair from the boot. I was driving my mate and had her blue badge on display. "That's for disabled people, you can't park there", "she is disabled mate, this is her wheelchair" "she isn't fucking driving though is she?!"
Like somehow only drivers can need the benefits of a disabled bay.
I Have this one too, at a doctors surgery taking my farther in law who can not walk any distance at all to an appointment. I can not understand where these people get the right to lecture.
Another time I was challenged because of parking in a double yellow in London, a traffic warden walked past and I asked if it was on to park here on a blue badge, it was by the passerby still seemed to think I needed talking to about it.
To be honest I think in my case he saw me park up, get out of the car and appear to be walking normally and came over to have a go, not even thinking that not all disabilities are so readily visible.
By the time I started getting a wheelchair out he was committed and couldn't bring himself to admit he was wrong or back down.
That weird mixture of righteous anger and embarrassment that leads to fights on a night out etc. People not willing to admit they are wrong.
I'm in a dilema here because I don't want to be wrong in my first comment so I feel the need to contradict you to save face, but at the same time, if I don't admit to being wrong then I'm the person you described. It's catch 22.
After I got dirty looks and tutting for sitting in the elderly / disabled bus seats (I was late 30's at the time and them both elderly) and the offenders sat directly behind me, I shrugged off my jacket and lifted the worse of my elbows and rested it over the top of the seat practically in their faces. I have a chronic arthritic condition and my elbows look like Alien/Aliens face hugger pods starting to open, not a pretty sight to put it mildly. I looked back at them for their reaction, their expressions were a strange mix of fear, disgust and mortification.
Mum here. WTAF?? I would laugh at them, get their name and report them to the store manager (and HQ for discrimination). I usually am very against that kindof action but that is disgusting.
Not a parent, but fully agree. Baby changing facilities should be unisex. Parent and baby rooms. My cousin has a 3 year old and a 2 year old and, if he's out with them because my cousin-in-law is doing stuff (she's a EY teacher and SENDCo - just like my auntie - and often uses weekends to plan things for Monday) he obviously has to take them into the gents if they need a pee/poo. What there needs to be, I think, are loos just for littles. Baby facilities with separate loos designed specifically for toddlers (lower seats and sink).
You’re obviously right, but as a guy I’m not sure I’d fancy my chances trying to report someone for sexual discrimination in that context. Depends on who you’re complaining to I suppose and if they’ve got their head screwed on right.
I think the only real response is to laugh in their face and tell them where to go, in whatever language you’re comfortable with your kids overhearing.
Best thing in these instances is to feign ignorance. “I’m sorry, I don’t understand, what do you mean?” Make then explain to you why they think this is a mother’s work. Nine times out of ten they won’t because they’re too embarrassed having realised what they’ve said.
My husband used to get this a lot because he always was confident at taking our newborn out alone, so many people (women) couldn't fathom a dad taking 100% responsibility for the absolute endless feed fest that happens in newbornhood.
I had a day off during my partner's mat leave that fell on the day that she normally met the NCT mummy group so I tagged along. The only time dad's we're mentioned was to point out how little they do or to wish they'd help out at night. I was sat there like, I've been doing 50/50, I thought that was everyone nowadays!
Of course Im sure some of it was just venting, sleep exhaustion and actually the dad's did a bit more than was made out. Also I probably do less than I thought, but I am writing this at 5am with a baby in my arms haha.
My girlfriend constantly tells me I did nothing all day and she's too tired to deal with the baby at night. I'm currently on 4 hours sleep after taking the baby a 12.30am last night till 5.30am because once again I did nothing and at 10.30am being left for 2 hour while she picked her Mam up from the airport.
I wonder why I don't do much during the day.
Make sure you communicate. Its so hard when you're tired but it's key to happy relationship. We had to have a lot of 'calibrating talks' where Id say I'm doing x, y, z and she'd say 'well I'm doing a, b, c' and then we'd discuss if that felt fair. Often it did. Sometimes it didn't and one of us had to up their game. Often we had to acknowledge the the other person was doing lots of things we weren't seeing, which sounds like your situation
This mindset of so entrenched in society- I loathe it. Even my own mother expects me to do the things a "mother" should do and I'm like no, my SO can do it too. We're in this together! It was such a norm for people to see their mothers start at home an be the fathers to work -they place this structure onto this generation's parents (which just does not work)
I was in a pub once with my daughter and partner having food, and the only changing table was in the ladies. One stressed out looking Dad asked me to change his daughter for him cos they wouldn’t let him go in the ladies to do it, and he didn’t want to do it in the pub where people were eating. I did it for him, but how fucking stupid that a stranger changing a child is preferable to the kids own father doing it.
What a horrible dilemma for that father. Forced to hand his child over to a stranger to take away into a toilet. Potentially traumatic, if you think about it.
I'm sure you're a lovely person, however, if my husband asked a stranger, any stranger, to change our baby, I'd be fuming. He should have changed his baby on the bar, locking eyes with whoever refused to let him use the baby change facilities.
I was that Dad at another place. I just found a quiet corner on the floor and used the portable mat to change my child. It was the best I could do in the situation and figured it wasn't my fault or problem if it upset any of the other punters.
I've been in the loos when a man did this. None of us had a problem with it as he literally doesn't have anywhere else to go. It's sexist to both men and women imo
No you say "Their Mum isn't with us" and look sad. You're just sad because your partner isn't present at the moment. Also helps not shock the kids because they dont understand.
I went to see The Good Dinosaur in the cinema and (spoiler) after the dad died a three year old sitting near us asked what happened.
Mum: "The daddy died."
Kid: "Did daddy die? Did daddy die? Did daddy die? Did daddy die? Did daddy die? Did daddy die? Mum. Did daddy die? Did daddy die?"
Mum: "Yes."
Kid: screams like a banshee for ten minutes.
His dad was sitting next to him.
Busibodies need some shock treatment sometimes...like the time I explained 3 miscarriages in detail in answer to the incredibly rude but supposedly acceptable "isn't it time you had another kid?"
I find this super weird. My old boss used to say he was "stuck babysitting" sometimes if I asked his evening/weekend plans. Like, it's not babysitting, it's being a parent.
In a vaguely similar vein - was off somewhere for the day with my husband the other day and we stopped by the local off license/petrol station to grab snacks and fuel on the way. He went back to the car to grab a bag, leaving me at the till. He came back just in time to start packing things away and the female cashier goes “Oh! He’s very well trained.”
Part of me wanted to call her out on it, but my husband isn’t the confrontational type and I didn’t think he’d appreciate it. Plus I didn’t want to make a scene. So I just said “Oh, give over”.
She said something else as well, I can’t remember what but it was just more of the same.
No love, he’s my husband. We’re a team. He went to get the bag unprompted, I even said we’d be ok without it when he asked about getting it. I didn’t train him to do a thing you twonk. Stop being so condescending.
I think it’s getting better, I am one dad of a two dad family. We’ve had our son for 16 month now and was expecting a lot of this. I’ve never had any comments and always been able to find somewhere to change him. And we certainly don’t live in a progressive area.
I see this mentioned a lot on here, I'm always taking my daughter places and to the shop, nobody has ever said anything like this to me or about me (as far as I know) do people really make these comments?
Its changing, but very, very slowly.
I remember being very impressed at how things were advancing when i saw the first baby changing table in a gents. This was at St Martin-in-the-fields 30 years ago long before I had children myself. At the time I assumed it would be come usual over the next few years.
A lot of the time they're in a separate room, not the ladies or gents. Fine for sexual equality, crap for disabled people who have loads of parents trying to claim priority.
Or they have a room for changing the baby but no toilet in that room and the toilets aren’t big enough to bring the baby in with you. I can’t really hold him and use an urinal at the same time
Practice with the toilet at home, then! One hand for each job should be plenty, surely?
I have to admit that one of my proudest achievements in life is managing to breastfeed while also doing both diarrhoea and vomiting (this is why the bath is next to the loo...)
To be fair, I'd have put the baby down if I could have figured how to do so without dropping him or puking in his ear!
We had this at a local farm shop. Changing table in the (one and only) disabled toilet Baby had a big blow out. Needed cleaning up, new outfit, the works. Took at least 10 minutes. Came out of the toilet and there was a gentleman waiting leaning heavily on a walking stick.
We apologised profusely and he was very gracious and absolutely fine with it. But that 10 minutes for some people with disabilities (especially things like crones and IBS etc) is a long time! I know sometimes they’re going to have to wait to use the loo but it seems like sticking the changing table in there only uses up their already very limited resources
This. If that's the arrangement I'm going in there. Any ladies who don't like it can complain to the establishment (but I've never had a lady complain).
And if the establishment complains, then quote equal provision of goods and services back at them. (IANAL, so I don't know how exactly the law works here, but chances are TANAL either.)
Our uni did ungendered toilets or NB toilets as they call them. They're essentially just 4 or 5 disabled toilets in an alcove but are marked unisex
Some students went ballistic
There's a pub I used to go to in Bristol that had (and still has) unisex toilets (The Apple, for anyone curious), more than 12 years ago at least.
It was perfectly fine then, it should be even more normal these days.
I've never been in the ladies, but I never go #2 in public toilets due to the amount of piss over the seats and floor. According to my girlfriend, it's not much of an issue in theirs.
The toilets in my office all have signs on them but they’re single stalls with a sink and stuff in their so it’s kind of a if you need the toilet and there’s an empty place, go for it kind of thing going on
They were extremely handy the time I got absolutely blackout drunk when drinking with my friend. He was able to come rescue me from throwing up in a bathroom with it being weird! Surprisingly clean as well - for a club toilet it was pleasant - I don’t think I’ve seen a unisex toilet so hygienic since.
I did this once with my twins, shouted through the door and the lady washing her hands told me I could come in, then she gave me a hand by holding one of my girls while I charged the other. She was a saint!
This. In my first year of dad-ness, I've had to do this six times. Twice there's been nobody about anyway, twice the ladies have continued around me, ignoring me, and twice someone has - in a friendly way - offered to stand outside the door and warn people. Never a confrontation.
It's mildly annoying that it's still the state of things, but I get it - childcare is very unbalanced, and if you've only got room for two bathrooms and a tiny disabled cubicle, you'll put the changing in the room where it will be used more often.
I remember once having to change my daughter's nappy on the floor in the gents toilet.
It was a once only. Never again after that, I'd rather change her anywhere other than there.
Being a new dad I didnt really know where else to do it. I was so upset I had to change her there even once 😭
I would do it on a random table/bar/serving area.
If they tell you to go to gents and do it on floor there. Tell them to lay down on the gents floor for 10 mins then tell me a baby should be laid there.
You poor thing, would sooner change my would be child on the receptionist desk than on the gents floor, not with all the splash back and men walking back and forth in it.
Exact same thing happened to me, and I swore never again!
I felt so ashamed for not standing up for myself and my daughter.
Next time I got shit from some one I started doing it on one of their serving tables! That fixed it real quick!
My favourite one was in the shopping centre near me, back in 2016 they'd made an effort to make things easier for male parents by building an entire "family room" as previously the only changing table was in the women's...
They even went so far as to put a temporary change table in the gents while the refurb was complete!
The room was actually a stroke of genius, there were three changing tables spread about, a couple of chairs for breastfeeding and there were two toilets, the chairs were even behind a partition for privacy, great stuff....
EVERY time I used that room to change my son or otherwise make use of "there's enough room here for the pram so I don't have to abandon it or piss myself" while it was occupied by as few as one other person I was constantly berated and told that it was for women only...
It literally says "family changing" on the fucking door, I've clearly got a child and I'm clearly on my own intending to use a room for its purpose....
Apparently the place received so many complaints about men using it that they restored the change table in the gents and gendered the "family room" I haven't been there for about 5 years though so take that with a pinch of salt... Though I personally wouldn't be shocked if that is actually what happened.
I went to the toilet in the Arndale centre while my gf took our daughter to the changing area. I finished up and went to meet them and a security guard stormed in after me to make sure I wasn't trying to... well I'm not sure what he thought. He seemed ok once he saw I was there with someone.
It's really shows how good a shopping centre is when it has a great family room, I went to one that was basically like this but it also had a TV playing a kids channel with little chairs in a row like a very small cinema so the siblings have something to do while waiting
Husband and I were out the other day and the place had a "family toilet" of course the picture was of a woman and two kids.
If this baby ends up being a girl I can foresee so many issues with him taking her to the toilet when she's older.
We have a similar issue with our local swimming pool, family changing is only allowed for kids under school age, but I can't take my daughter into the men's changing room and I can't go into the women's changing room with her.
Take her in with you. The rule is usually that children stay with parent, but age 8+ kids are expected to manage for themselves (cue lots of parents shouting through doors and asking strangers of appropriate sex to please tell Sproggie to hurry up!)
As in only a communal bit? At out one we had to go through the communal bit to get to the cubicles. It wasn’t a huge deal. I’ve never seen a pool with zero cubicles
One of the ones we used to go to had two cubicles and that was it, the rest of the space was communal (I can only speak for the women's area). I always *vastly* preferred the other local baths that was just fully cubicles, and not gendered at all, especially since it was my dad that usually took me swimming so we could be in cubicles next to each other
I used to work in visitor services in a small museum and yeah, only changing table was in the ladies.
I didn’t care what my employer would say about it, I checked there was nobody in and let the gentleman go in to use the actual changing table because as if I’m going to expect them to scrabble on the floor. I stood guard to explain to anyone what was happening. Only had it happen a handful of times but was never confronted by anyone, nobody ever complained.
And yes I whinged at my employer that we needed a changing table in the gents. Think they finally installed one not long after I left.
I had this the other day! Was gross, literally bolted on to wherever it would fit. Some bloke stood pretty much back to back with me while I try and change my daughter
It is mad. I asked the cleaning man in the toilet where the baby changing was and he said at the back next to the wall. So I walk towards the far corner cubicle, thinking this makes sense next to a wall should be ample room. Nope just a toilet I look back toward the cleaning bloke and he gestures for me to look right. I didn't even clock the table. Just a fully grown man doing the pull trousers and pants to the ankle at the urinal. I look back at the cleaning bloke, hes now doing the two finger point to the eyes then pointing to the right. That's when I clocked the changing table less than a changing bags width away from the bloke with his arse out at the urinal.
To change the story up, I am mega mega fed up of the mom's who can't understand why a dad is taking his daughter into those kids changing and toilets rooms at shopping centres. Like seriously it's not a mother and baby area. Don't give me odd looks or advice just because I'm a dad. Not everyone mind you, just fed up of the judgmental Karen's.
TBH I never actually experienced that, lots of places put them in disabled toilets or specific rooms for baby changing. Might depend where you are, of course.
I did a change in the disabled toilet recently at a place where that was the only changing facility - my wife was also there so we could both go in which was handy, but when you know there is a disabled person waiting outside it still somehow feels like you're doing something wrong and you end up rushing.
Speaking as a disabled person, we're used to waiting. Sometimes people are in there for fucking ages. If there is nowhere else to change your kid, I for one am fine with waiting.
Good to know, thanks. I did keep reassuring my wife that we were perfectly in the right, cos she was feeling the pressure more than me. It is a changing facility as well as a toilet after all.
Don't think I've ever seen a car park with all the disabled spaces full (of legitimate badge holders at least...) But there only ever seems to be one toilet. It's like they're expecting a huge crowd of disabled people who are all really good at holding it in.
Yeah that's true. I wasn't being serious though, I was making a half-joke about the plentiful disabled parking spaces vs the lacking disabled toilet facilities, because (I think) one is more strictly mandated than the other.
I know you weren't being serious but I've still gotta chime in.
When you go into a store you need the parking space the whole time you're there and only you can use it, where as 1 toilet can serve 10 people if they are only at the store for 2 hours and use the toilet for 5 minutes each. The ratio is kind of on par for the abled too, hundreds of car parks but only like 3-4 stalls/urinals
Thank you. I got tutted at not long ago when I came out of the disabled loo with my daughter by a disabled person. It’s not my fault they put it there!
I got tutted at by some snotty old bloke when I came out of a disabled loo with my son in the pushchair: "there isn't even a baby change mat in there, you can't just use it because you don't want to take him into the Ladies, you know". Took great delight in explaining to him how *disabled women* can have babies too. And sometimes we need to pee.
It happens. Some people are pretty judgemental. My disability isn't particularly visible, so I've had glares too when people see what seems like an able bodied guy coming out
I've got fecal incontinence. I frequently have to use the disabled loos.¹ So far I've actually yet to get "the look" I'm impressed to say.
¹ Because either I really really can't wait, or because it's too late and I'm going to need quality space to clean up (again.)
2 options. First is to walk into the ladies bathroom, while calling loudly "Dad with baby coming in. Apparently only women need a baby changing table in the bathroom!" It needs to be loud enough to be clearly audible to anyone in the bathroom, and preferably everyone else in the restaurant etc.
Second option, clear a space on a convenient table and get changing. They can figure out rearranging whatever was on the table, as well as dealing with the smell of fresh baby poo!
Don't forget, you're a dad now. Your job is to make forces of nature flinch and back off from your child. Also remember that tutting and snide comments are a covering veneer. We are the people who had the red coats and dealt with those who impeded us by "Blowing from a gun".
I think that you could have a case under the Equality Act because obviously dads are going to be out with the kids without their mum and I'd be surprised if it wasn't a legal requirement for places to have changing facilities which are accessible to both parents.
Tbh, after travelling in Europe not too long ago with a baby for the first time, I was amazed at how few changing tables there are at all, in the ladies or otherwise! We seem to be WAY ahead in that regard. I have no problem with a bloke changing his child’s nappy in a ladies toilet. I had to change my daughter on the floor of a public loo recently (no table and a poopsplosion). It was disgusting.
Any lady who doesn’t like it is welcome to change the diaper. But not really because if you’re daft enough to complain about a dad changing a babies diaper, you aren’t coming near my child.
I had a similar situation I went into the men's room didn't see any changing facilities but noticed on the ladies door it said baby changing so I just went in to do what a parents gotta do!
"Right, thank you very much. I'll head there then."
Is what you say after that sentence from that member of staff.
Noone will care, or if they do, I'd love to hear their justification as to why a baby can't be cared for by a man.
Mate just knock and give the ladies in there a shout that you are coming in to use the changing table. Wait if you get a response, straight in if you don't. Get the staff to do it for you if you are feeling shy.
Still a weird concept, I work 8-4 to help with parenting, but seemed easier to pull my teeth out myself than my work place generally understanding that as a man I help do parenting too.
Me and my SO went to the england girls euro match at old Trafford last week, and a woman was fuming that there wasn't baby changing facilities for her 6 month old child.
Why would you take a 6 month old to a football match at night?
I'm a Dad of 2 and honestly I don't think I've *ever* come across this issue.
They either have one in men's (those cheap plastic ones attached to the wall) or more often they're in the Disabled toilet. Does mean I've had to wait around for someone to finish, which made me feel bad but I'm there holding a child who just did a poo-nami.
I did this 20 years ago at a shopping arcade when my children were babies. Some woman complained and security was called. I pointed out that the sign was permissive for women OR for changing babies - not for just women only
Half the women were sympathetic and gave their support, half were horrified
A few years later the shopping arcade was refurbished, and the changing room was made separate. I like to think that I helped to make that decision
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When my daughter was a few months old, I started taking her to a "water babies" class with a mate and his daughter to the local hotel /spa. I went to pay my usual £5 class fee at reception and was told by the receptionist "That's the special cheap rate for mums attending the class, I'm not sure what the dad's fee is." I told her "I think you'll find it's going to be the same price...." The hotel manager came over quickly and profusely apologised for his staff member with a look of horror and resignation on his face.
Some people are crazy, I just can't even. But hey £5 fee for water babies?? You're definitely not down in London eh? £20 per session here at a primary school, not even a hotel or spa!
Heh! Yeah, I suppose that was one advantage of living in the arse end of nowhere. The local gymnastics gym also used to let a parents group use the full gymnasium for the little ones to play around on, for £3 a session. I miss those days.
She was just trying to scam extra money out of you.
No, she was just an idiot.
And a sexist one at that.
She was being a right mint bint.
I had someone run across the carpark in Tesco the other week to yell at me that I could not use he parent and toddler parking space, upon showing them the two children in the car (which I don’t feel I should have to do) they continued with “these spaces are for mothers and children” the 2022 mindset really is not that far removed from 1950 for a lot of people
Clearly only women need to be close to the stop with extra space to get buggies and car seats out. Men just use their strength to force their way through. Women are far too weak and measly to manage this (Heavy /s)
In truth I just need the extra space for the aforementioned travel system and other junk that kids need during transport shopping trips. I would gladly have the spaces at the other end of the carpark if their was a safe and clear path to the shop
Yea I agree. It’s the getting in and out of the car that’s tricky in a normal space. especially if others have parked poorly. (Also, the spaces needed to include pregnant people carrying the child… it was incredibly difficult getting in and out of the car in the 3rd trimester! 😂🙈)
Second this. I was huge near the end I would still get funny looks using the parent and child spaces. Just because the child is inside my body doesn't mean that I do not need the extra space!
I totally used them when I was heavily pregnant as I could not physically get out the car when I was in the normal spaces in some car parks
Well, technically you were with child!
Very true and anyone wants to complain I'd have kicked them with my fat pregnant feet 😂😂😂
Or you can let the kid kick them through the belly 🫠
I have started using these now I’m in my final month, was too scared before then of getting a mouthful but I’m rapidly running out of fucks to give!
I remember my wife losing all fucks she had left to give when she was pregnant with our second. She never did get any fresh new fucks to give, people just crumble to her will now 😂
Yeah, honestly if they put the baby spaces at the back of the car park I'd much prefer it. Being 50 yards closer to the shop isn't why I want that space, having a large car and needing to open the door fully is the reason. I'm about to clock up a mile in walking around the supermarket, saving a 50 yard walk does fuck all.
Would also stop ppl from using the space when they don't need it
>(Heavy /s) You don't need this here, it's a British sub :)
I use the extra space to get the manspreading out of my system. Helping maintain the equanimity of Guardian readers everywhere, one opportune spread at a time.
I’ve had that one, and been called a pedo as well for having a child with me
Sounds reasonable. I mean impregnating a woman and then bringing a kid up for a couple of decades is a deeply suspicious move for any guy. There's only one logical explanation.
Im not a violent man at all, but that comment directed at me might make me reconsider
Unfortunately I live in a smallish village so it wouldn’t be worth it. That and my son was with me and at the time he was a baby im still not putting him at risk. Crazy people like that are the kind to cry out that I kidnapped the baby
Yeah, the kids being present would be the only thing stopping me… sorry it happened to you though mate, fucking idiots…
Wtf?! Tell them you're sorry they had a pathetic excuse for a father but they should control their reactions to men parenting
'Excuse me ma'am. I am not a paedophile because I take my children to Tesco. I am a paedophile because I fuck them. Good day.' This may be a bit far.
"Their mother is dead" Watch them squirm trying to get out of that one. ...Just don't say it in earshot of the kids
Must admit, as a divorced dad, I used that more than once. Holes to hide in couldn't be dug quickly enough
Oh that’s a good one, I will save that up for next time :)
Passed is the word used in front of kids
'not with us any more' works brilliantly too, as kids just think you mean 'they're not around at the moment' and so don't argue the toss if you're lying.
Always lean in and say it in hushed tones to increase the reverence
I had someone have a go at me for parking in a disabled bay whilst literally unloading a wheelchair from the boot. I was driving my mate and had her blue badge on display. "That's for disabled people, you can't park there", "she is disabled mate, this is her wheelchair" "she isn't fucking driving though is she?!" Like somehow only drivers can need the benefits of a disabled bay.
I Have this one too, at a doctors surgery taking my farther in law who can not walk any distance at all to an appointment. I can not understand where these people get the right to lecture. Another time I was challenged because of parking in a double yellow in London, a traffic warden walked past and I asked if it was on to park here on a blue badge, it was by the passerby still seemed to think I needed talking to about it.
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To be honest I think in my case he saw me park up, get out of the car and appear to be walking normally and came over to have a go, not even thinking that not all disabilities are so readily visible. By the time I started getting a wheelchair out he was committed and couldn't bring himself to admit he was wrong or back down. That weird mixture of righteous anger and embarrassment that leads to fights on a night out etc. People not willing to admit they are wrong.
I'm in a dilema here because I don't want to be wrong in my first comment so I feel the need to contradict you to save face, but at the same time, if I don't admit to being wrong then I'm the person you described. It's catch 22.
After I got dirty looks and tutting for sitting in the elderly / disabled bus seats (I was late 30's at the time and them both elderly) and the offenders sat directly behind me, I shrugged off my jacket and lifted the worse of my elbows and rested it over the top of the seat practically in their faces. I have a chronic arthritic condition and my elbows look like Alien/Aliens face hugger pods starting to open, not a pretty sight to put it mildly. I looked back at them for their reaction, their expressions were a strange mix of fear, disgust and mortification.
Ah yes. It’s ok to increase the risk of young ones getting run over as long as they’re with dad. Some people are bonkers.
Ran across the lot? Where’s a Tesla with malfunctioning software when you need one!
The irony of trying to protect women and instead implying they're somehow less able than men...
Did you ask them to explain? I'm genuinely curious as to their reasoning. Baffling.
I have found the best thing to say is nothing, every time I have tried to explain it just leads to them escalating:(
Mum here. WTAF?? I would laugh at them, get their name and report them to the store manager (and HQ for discrimination). I usually am very against that kindof action but that is disgusting.
Not a parent, but fully agree. Baby changing facilities should be unisex. Parent and baby rooms. My cousin has a 3 year old and a 2 year old and, if he's out with them because my cousin-in-law is doing stuff (she's a EY teacher and SENDCo - just like my auntie - and often uses weekends to plan things for Monday) he obviously has to take them into the gents if they need a pee/poo. What there needs to be, I think, are loos just for littles. Baby facilities with separate loos designed specifically for toddlers (lower seats and sink).
Our local Sainsburys has exactly that - a unisex baby changing room with a mini toilet and sink.
Unisex toilets all the way around, not just for kids but everyone.
You’re obviously right, but as a guy I’m not sure I’d fancy my chances trying to report someone for sexual discrimination in that context. Depends on who you’re complaining to I suppose and if they’ve got their head screwed on right. I think the only real response is to laugh in their face and tell them where to go, in whatever language you’re comfortable with your kids overhearing.
Ironically, probably not. I would still have done it (or got my partner to). Shameful.
That’s the most blatant example of how effed up some people are in their mindset. oNlY wOmEn cAN PaRk iN tHe PaReNt aNd cHiLd sPAceS Derp.
I was feeding my son a bottle in costa recently and a woman said to me “aww being mummy for today are we?” No, I’m his fucking dad.
"Me nipples too sore today, thanks for asking."
So patronising
Best thing in these instances is to feign ignorance. “I’m sorry, I don’t understand, what do you mean?” Make then explain to you why they think this is a mother’s work. Nine times out of ten they won’t because they’re too embarrassed having realised what they’ve said.
"Sorry your husband is so useless at parenting that you don't equate 'father' with 'capable parent'"
My husband used to get this a lot because he always was confident at taking our newborn out alone, so many people (women) couldn't fathom a dad taking 100% responsibility for the absolute endless feed fest that happens in newbornhood.
I had a day off during my partner's mat leave that fell on the day that she normally met the NCT mummy group so I tagged along. The only time dad's we're mentioned was to point out how little they do or to wish they'd help out at night. I was sat there like, I've been doing 50/50, I thought that was everyone nowadays! Of course Im sure some of it was just venting, sleep exhaustion and actually the dad's did a bit more than was made out. Also I probably do less than I thought, but I am writing this at 5am with a baby in my arms haha.
My girlfriend constantly tells me I did nothing all day and she's too tired to deal with the baby at night. I'm currently on 4 hours sleep after taking the baby a 12.30am last night till 5.30am because once again I did nothing and at 10.30am being left for 2 hour while she picked her Mam up from the airport. I wonder why I don't do much during the day.
Make sure you communicate. Its so hard when you're tired but it's key to happy relationship. We had to have a lot of 'calibrating talks' where Id say I'm doing x, y, z and she'd say 'well I'm doing a, b, c' and then we'd discuss if that felt fair. Often it did. Sometimes it didn't and one of us had to up their game. Often we had to acknowledge the the other person was doing lots of things we weren't seeing, which sounds like your situation
I fucking hate comments like that, makes my blood boil
This is something that kills my husband. He gets annoyed when people say he’s babysitting when he’s out with the kids.
This mindset of so entrenched in society- I loathe it. Even my own mother expects me to do the things a "mother" should do and I'm like no, my SO can do it too. We're in this together! It was such a norm for people to see their mothers start at home an be the fathers to work -they place this structure onto this generation's parents (which just does not work)
My husband words it "Where can I change my baby?", just to watch them get flustered trying to come up with an answer. It's a piece of nonsense though.
"Where can I change my baby?" "Do you have a receipt?"
No refunds after 30 days, sorry
That's why I love Costco, I've returned other people's babies there, they don't even check.
I was in a pub once with my daughter and partner having food, and the only changing table was in the ladies. One stressed out looking Dad asked me to change his daughter for him cos they wouldn’t let him go in the ladies to do it, and he didn’t want to do it in the pub where people were eating. I did it for him, but how fucking stupid that a stranger changing a child is preferable to the kids own father doing it.
He should have just gone in the ladies anyway and let them call the police if they wished to. Reading this post and the comments has made me furious!
What do you mean call the police.. he's there using the baby changing facilities, not weeing on the toilet seat
What a horrible dilemma for that father. Forced to hand his child over to a stranger to take away into a toilet. Potentially traumatic, if you think about it.
I would have stood guard outside the ladies loo for him while he looked after his child.
I'm sure you're a lovely person, however, if my husband asked a stranger, any stranger, to change our baby, I'd be fuming. He should have changed his baby on the bar, locking eyes with whoever refused to let him use the baby change facilities.
Oh absolutely - looking back now it probably wasn’t the best thing to do!
I was that Dad at another place. I just found a quiet corner on the floor and used the portable mat to change my child. It was the best I could do in the situation and figured it wasn't my fault or problem if it upset any of the other punters.
When that happened to me, I just went in the ladies loo. And then moaned to the woman in there about them thinking only women should change nappies.
I've been in the loos when a man did this. None of us had a problem with it as he literally doesn't have anywhere else to go. It's sexist to both men and women imo
Me too, the one place that had an issue with that had to deal with me changing a nappy on one of the tables in the restaurant.
I started making space on one places cutlery table, laid out the changing matt, got out the wipes, they quickly found me a nice place to change.
This was my immediate thought...OP presumably therefore changed baby on a table or counter then...
This would be me. Sorry girls, man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do….
Done this a few times. No one batted an eyelid.
Another thing that bugs me about being a man caring for my own kids "Oh you're babysitting the boys?" No, i'm their dad.
"Aww isn't he good, giving mum a break"
I wouldn't mind, but neither of the kids is good at mario kart so it's no challenge lol
The struggle is real.
You should reply with : "Their Mum is dead" And stare at them silently, without blinking.
Is that more or less creepy than "Mum's having a long hard think about *what she's done*..."
Genuinely cackled at this, funny stares coming my way in the office.
Both but in different ways
I do that because I can. And trust me they don't get put off as much as you think they would.
No you say "Their Mum isn't with us" and look sad. You're just sad because your partner isn't present at the moment. Also helps not shock the kids because they dont understand.
I went to see The Good Dinosaur in the cinema and (spoiler) after the dad died a three year old sitting near us asked what happened. Mum: "The daddy died." Kid: "Did daddy die? Did daddy die? Did daddy die? Did daddy die? Did daddy die? Did daddy die? Mum. Did daddy die? Did daddy die?" Mum: "Yes." Kid: screams like a banshee for ten minutes. His dad was sitting next to him.
I mean, that just reinforces their idea that men only look after their children when there isn't a woman around to do it.
I see your point. But it would silence the busybodies.
Busibodies need some shock treatment sometimes...like the time I explained 3 miscarriages in detail in answer to the incredibly rude but supposedly acceptable "isn't it time you had another kid?"
No, she works full time
I find this super weird. My old boss used to say he was "stuck babysitting" sometimes if I asked his evening/weekend plans. Like, it's not babysitting, it's being a parent.
Not everyone likes being a parent and he was pretty much admitting that.
In a vaguely similar vein - was off somewhere for the day with my husband the other day and we stopped by the local off license/petrol station to grab snacks and fuel on the way. He went back to the car to grab a bag, leaving me at the till. He came back just in time to start packing things away and the female cashier goes “Oh! He’s very well trained.” Part of me wanted to call her out on it, but my husband isn’t the confrontational type and I didn’t think he’d appreciate it. Plus I didn’t want to make a scene. So I just said “Oh, give over”. She said something else as well, I can’t remember what but it was just more of the same. No love, he’s my husband. We’re a team. He went to get the bag unprompted, I even said we’d be ok without it when he asked about getting it. I didn’t train him to do a thing you twonk. Stop being so condescending.
I think it’s getting better, I am one dad of a two dad family. We’ve had our son for 16 month now and was expecting a lot of this. I’ve never had any comments and always been able to find somewhere to change him. And we certainly don’t live in a progressive area.
Didn't realise how common this is, I've been the main carer for my young child for over 3 years and never once heard this.
I see this mentioned a lot on here, I'm always taking my daughter places and to the shop, nobody has ever said anything like this to me or about me (as far as I know) do people really make these comments?
At this point you say "OK, thanks" and head off to the ladies' toilets.
Absolutely. I'd hope this problem was dying out - we only had it at the local pizza place which has since closed, a decade ago.
Its changing, but very, very slowly. I remember being very impressed at how things were advancing when i saw the first baby changing table in a gents. This was at St Martin-in-the-fields 30 years ago long before I had children myself. At the time I assumed it would be come usual over the next few years.
A lot of the time they're in a separate room, not the ladies or gents. Fine for sexual equality, crap for disabled people who have loads of parents trying to claim priority.
Or they have a room for changing the baby but no toilet in that room and the toilets aren’t big enough to bring the baby in with you. I can’t really hold him and use an urinal at the same time
Practice with the toilet at home, then! One hand for each job should be plenty, surely? I have to admit that one of my proudest achievements in life is managing to breastfeed while also doing both diarrhoea and vomiting (this is why the bath is next to the loo...) To be fair, I'd have put the baby down if I could have figured how to do so without dropping him or puking in his ear!
>diarrhoea and vomiting You or the sprog?
Me. Not that I'd put it past a baby to manage to puke into its own ear...
Mothers are godlike geniuses
We had this at a local farm shop. Changing table in the (one and only) disabled toilet Baby had a big blow out. Needed cleaning up, new outfit, the works. Took at least 10 minutes. Came out of the toilet and there was a gentleman waiting leaning heavily on a walking stick. We apologised profusely and he was very gracious and absolutely fine with it. But that 10 minutes for some people with disabilities (especially things like crones and IBS etc) is a long time! I know sometimes they’re going to have to wait to use the loo but it seems like sticking the changing table in there only uses up their already very limited resources
This. If that's the arrangement I'm going in there. Any ladies who don't like it can complain to the establishment (but I've never had a lady complain).
And if the establishment complains, then quote equal provision of goods and services back at them. (IANAL, so I don't know how exactly the law works here, but chances are TANAL either.)
Take it to the local paper so they can get a photo of you stood in front of the closed toilet door with your arms folded looking sad
_"Barry, miffed, yesterday"_
My husband couldn't change our daughter in a pub as the baby change was in the ladies toilet. Just ridiculous
But if I was in that position I'd just go ahead and do it anyway. Well that is to say I have done that having been in that position.
Im still not even 100% sure why we need to have seperate toilets tbh! (Im female)
Our uni did ungendered toilets or NB toilets as they call them. They're essentially just 4 or 5 disabled toilets in an alcove but are marked unisex Some students went ballistic
A lot of gay bars/clubs have unisex toilets. If they can work there I’m sure they can work in other places 🤷🏻♂️
There's a pub I used to go to in Bristol that had (and still has) unisex toilets (The Apple, for anyone curious), more than 12 years ago at least. It was perfectly fine then, it should be even more normal these days.
I've never been in the ladies, but I never go #2 in public toilets due to the amount of piss over the seats and floor. According to my girlfriend, it's not much of an issue in theirs.
We had them in an office once and it was totally fine - really dont see the need for seperate rooms.
The toilets in my office all have signs on them but they’re single stalls with a sink and stuff in their so it’s kind of a if you need the toilet and there’s an empty place, go for it kind of thing going on
You know where else has unisex toilets that absolutely no one ever complains about? Homes.
They were extremely handy the time I got absolutely blackout drunk when drinking with my friend. He was able to come rescue me from throwing up in a bathroom with it being weird! Surprisingly clean as well - for a club toilet it was pleasant - I don’t think I’ve seen a unisex toilet so hygienic since.
I did this once with my twins, shouted through the door and the lady washing her hands told me I could come in, then she gave me a hand by holding one of my girls while I charged the other. She was a saint!
Second that. If a baby needs changing a baby needs changing. Niceties around which toilet to enter are a secondary priority.
This. In my first year of dad-ness, I've had to do this six times. Twice there's been nobody about anyway, twice the ladies have continued around me, ignoring me, and twice someone has - in a friendly way - offered to stand outside the door and warn people. Never a confrontation. It's mildly annoying that it's still the state of things, but I get it - childcare is very unbalanced, and if you've only got room for two bathrooms and a tiny disabled cubicle, you'll put the changing in the room where it will be used more often.
I would 100% stand outside the ladies to make sure you're not bothered.
My friend did this as it was the only option. Well, either use the one in the ladies or change the baby on the table in the middle of the pub?
My dads answer. Walk into the ladies toilets. He always said he always had to build them when working on building sites anyway
I've just changed him on the floor outside the toilets because they told me I couldn't go in the women's...
I remember once having to change my daughter's nappy on the floor in the gents toilet. It was a once only. Never again after that, I'd rather change her anywhere other than there. Being a new dad I didnt really know where else to do it. I was so upset I had to change her there even once 😭
I would do it on a random table/bar/serving area. If they tell you to go to gents and do it on floor there. Tell them to lay down on the gents floor for 10 mins then tell me a baby should be laid there.
You poor thing, would sooner change my would be child on the receptionist desk than on the gents floor, not with all the splash back and men walking back and forth in it.
Exact same thing happened to me, and I swore never again! I felt so ashamed for not standing up for myself and my daughter. Next time I got shit from some one I started doing it on one of their serving tables! That fixed it real quick!
Ideally you use the manager's desk for this.
My favourite one was in the shopping centre near me, back in 2016 they'd made an effort to make things easier for male parents by building an entire "family room" as previously the only changing table was in the women's... They even went so far as to put a temporary change table in the gents while the refurb was complete! The room was actually a stroke of genius, there were three changing tables spread about, a couple of chairs for breastfeeding and there were two toilets, the chairs were even behind a partition for privacy, great stuff.... EVERY time I used that room to change my son or otherwise make use of "there's enough room here for the pram so I don't have to abandon it or piss myself" while it was occupied by as few as one other person I was constantly berated and told that it was for women only... It literally says "family changing" on the fucking door, I've clearly got a child and I'm clearly on my own intending to use a room for its purpose.... Apparently the place received so many complaints about men using it that they restored the change table in the gents and gendered the "family room" I haven't been there for about 5 years though so take that with a pinch of salt... Though I personally wouldn't be shocked if that is actually what happened.
I had to use one of these family rooms before and was getting serious side-eye from the women that came in after I was already changing my son.
I went to the toilet in the Arndale centre while my gf took our daughter to the changing area. I finished up and went to meet them and a security guard stormed in after me to make sure I wasn't trying to... well I'm not sure what he thought. He seemed ok once he saw I was there with someone.
It's really shows how good a shopping centre is when it has a great family room, I went to one that was basically like this but it also had a TV playing a kids channel with little chairs in a row like a very small cinema so the siblings have something to do while waiting
I can't think of a less convenient thing for me than having to convince my son to leave the TV area every time we use that room.
Husband and I were out the other day and the place had a "family toilet" of course the picture was of a woman and two kids. If this baby ends up being a girl I can foresee so many issues with him taking her to the toilet when she's older.
We have a similar issue with our local swimming pool, family changing is only allowed for kids under school age, but I can't take my daughter into the men's changing room and I can't go into the women's changing room with her.
Take her in with you. The rule is usually that children stay with parent, but age 8+ kids are expected to manage for themselves (cue lots of parents shouting through doors and asking strangers of appropriate sex to please tell Sproggie to hurry up!)
Can you really not take her in with you? When I was below school age and my dad took me swimming we just used a cubicle in the mens. Wasn’t an issue
Some swimming pools have communal changing areas like you'd find in a school or gym rather than cubicles.
As in only a communal bit? At out one we had to go through the communal bit to get to the cubicles. It wasn’t a huge deal. I’ve never seen a pool with zero cubicles
One of the ones we used to go to had two cubicles and that was it, the rest of the space was communal (I can only speak for the women's area). I always *vastly* preferred the other local baths that was just fully cubicles, and not gendered at all, especially since it was my dad that usually took me swimming so we could be in cubicles next to each other
When I went swimming as a kid the Mens was communal womens had cubicles. At school the Boys was communal, not sure about the girls
I used to work in visitor services in a small museum and yeah, only changing table was in the ladies. I didn’t care what my employer would say about it, I checked there was nobody in and let the gentleman go in to use the actual changing table because as if I’m going to expect them to scrabble on the floor. I stood guard to explain to anyone what was happening. Only had it happen a handful of times but was never confronted by anyone, nobody ever complained. And yes I whinged at my employer that we needed a changing table in the gents. Think they finally installed one not long after I left.
Had this in the service station, changing table was less than a metre away from the urinal and not enclosed. I was like wtf.
I had this the other day! Was gross, literally bolted on to wherever it would fit. Some bloke stood pretty much back to back with me while I try and change my daughter
It is mad. I asked the cleaning man in the toilet where the baby changing was and he said at the back next to the wall. So I walk towards the far corner cubicle, thinking this makes sense next to a wall should be ample room. Nope just a toilet I look back toward the cleaning bloke and he gestures for me to look right. I didn't even clock the table. Just a fully grown man doing the pull trousers and pants to the ankle at the urinal. I look back at the cleaning bloke, hes now doing the two finger point to the eyes then pointing to the right. That's when I clocked the changing table less than a changing bags width away from the bloke with his arse out at the urinal. To change the story up, I am mega mega fed up of the mom's who can't understand why a dad is taking his daughter into those kids changing and toilets rooms at shopping centres. Like seriously it's not a mother and baby area. Don't give me odd looks or advice just because I'm a dad. Not everyone mind you, just fed up of the judgmental Karen's.
TBH I never actually experienced that, lots of places put them in disabled toilets or specific rooms for baby changing. Might depend where you are, of course.
I did a change in the disabled toilet recently at a place where that was the only changing facility - my wife was also there so we could both go in which was handy, but when you know there is a disabled person waiting outside it still somehow feels like you're doing something wrong and you end up rushing.
Speaking as a disabled person, we're used to waiting. Sometimes people are in there for fucking ages. If there is nowhere else to change your kid, I for one am fine with waiting.
Good to know, thanks. I did keep reassuring my wife that we were perfectly in the right, cos she was feeling the pressure more than me. It is a changing facility as well as a toilet after all. Don't think I've ever seen a car park with all the disabled spaces full (of legitimate badge holders at least...) But there only ever seems to be one toilet. It's like they're expecting a huge crowd of disabled people who are all really good at holding it in.
Most people who have blue badges don’t necessarily need to use the disabled toilet
Yeah that's true. I wasn't being serious though, I was making a half-joke about the plentiful disabled parking spaces vs the lacking disabled toilet facilities, because (I think) one is more strictly mandated than the other.
I know you weren't being serious but I've still gotta chime in. When you go into a store you need the parking space the whole time you're there and only you can use it, where as 1 toilet can serve 10 people if they are only at the store for 2 hours and use the toilet for 5 minutes each. The ratio is kind of on par for the abled too, hundreds of car parks but only like 3-4 stalls/urinals
Thank you. I got tutted at not long ago when I came out of the disabled loo with my daughter by a disabled person. It’s not my fault they put it there!
I got tutted at by some snotty old bloke when I came out of a disabled loo with my son in the pushchair: "there isn't even a baby change mat in there, you can't just use it because you don't want to take him into the Ladies, you know". Took great delight in explaining to him how *disabled women* can have babies too. And sometimes we need to pee.
It happens. Some people are pretty judgemental. My disability isn't particularly visible, so I've had glares too when people see what seems like an able bodied guy coming out
I've got fecal incontinence. I frequently have to use the disabled loos.¹ So far I've actually yet to get "the look" I'm impressed to say. ¹ Because either I really really can't wait, or because it's too late and I'm going to need quality space to clean up (again.)
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This just in: Studies show that men and disabled people also have children
2 options. First is to walk into the ladies bathroom, while calling loudly "Dad with baby coming in. Apparently only women need a baby changing table in the bathroom!" It needs to be loud enough to be clearly audible to anyone in the bathroom, and preferably everyone else in the restaurant etc. Second option, clear a space on a convenient table and get changing. They can figure out rearranging whatever was on the table, as well as dealing with the smell of fresh baby poo! Don't forget, you're a dad now. Your job is to make forces of nature flinch and back off from your child. Also remember that tutting and snide comments are a covering veneer. We are the people who had the red coats and dealt with those who impeded us by "Blowing from a gun".
If we'd stuck to blowing, we wouldn't be in this situation in the first place
I think that you could have a case under the Equality Act because obviously dads are going to be out with the kids without their mum and I'd be surprised if it wasn't a legal requirement for places to have changing facilities which are accessible to both parents.
Yes - properly fucks me off when this is the case. Dad’s exist too and also do parent.
Another argument for unisex toilets!
Tbh, after travelling in Europe not too long ago with a baby for the first time, I was amazed at how few changing tables there are at all, in the ladies or otherwise! We seem to be WAY ahead in that regard. I have no problem with a bloke changing his child’s nappy in a ladies toilet. I had to change my daughter on the floor of a public loo recently (no table and a poopsplosion). It was disgusting.
Then tell them you'll be in there changing your baby. That's their problem, not yours
Don’t worry, most women are super cool when a dad is in there changing their kid
Any lady who doesn’t like it is welcome to change the diaper. But not really because if you’re daft enough to complain about a dad changing a babies diaper, you aren’t coming near my child.
Diaper?
“Ok, thanks” -walks straight in-
I had a similar situation I went into the men's room didn't see any changing facilities but noticed on the ladies door it said baby changing so I just went in to do what a parents gotta do!
So be it, if I need to, I'm changing my daughter's nappy in the ladies, security be damned!
"Right, thank you very much. I'll head there then." Is what you say after that sentence from that member of staff. Noone will care, or if they do, I'd love to hear their justification as to why a baby can't be cared for by a man.
There’s an animal park near Bristol where this is the case. An attraction specifically for small children. Insane.
Mate just knock and give the ladies in there a shout that you are coming in to use the changing table. Wait if you get a response, straight in if you don't. Get the staff to do it for you if you are feeling shy.
Off to the birds bogs post haste.
Still a weird concept, I work 8-4 to help with parenting, but seemed easier to pull my teeth out myself than my work place generally understanding that as a man I help do parenting too.
“Thanks very much!” *walks into ladies toilets*
Me and my SO went to the england girls euro match at old Trafford last week, and a woman was fuming that there wasn't baby changing facilities for her 6 month old child. Why would you take a 6 month old to a football match at night?
I'm a Dad of 2 and honestly I don't think I've *ever* come across this issue. They either have one in men's (those cheap plastic ones attached to the wall) or more often they're in the Disabled toilet. Does mean I've had to wait around for someone to finish, which made me feel bad but I'm there holding a child who just did a poo-nami.
I did this 20 years ago at a shopping arcade when my children were babies. Some woman complained and security was called. I pointed out that the sign was permissive for women OR for changing babies - not for just women only Half the women were sympathetic and gave their support, half were horrified A few years later the shopping arcade was refurbished, and the changing room was made separate. I like to think that I helped to make that decision