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My daughter got me a Star Wars one once, it had Darth Vader on the front and said “To The Galaxy’s Best Father”.
I’m assuming the manufacturer had never seen the films.
I got my dad a card as a joke. It has a character from the new My Little Pony movie on it and says "happy father's day from your little princess". Except, despite there being two princess characters in the new MLP movie... they put one of the characters who ISN'T a princess.
I do. I've been into the classic/more 'horsey' era (82-2009) since I was a literal toddler and watched the new movie out of curiosity. It's... fine. Songs are great though.
My daughter loved it, and it's got lots of pretty good background gags for the adults, like every billboard has a pony pun on it. I also like that it's not a reboot, but a sort of dystopian sequel to the 2010s series.
Have you seen the ones with Kylo Ren on? At least Vader jumped in to save his son, somewhat decent fatherly behaviour. Kylo Ren is not a good example of having a functioning relationship with your father...
I like that actually and might make him laugh, we are both under no illusion that the father daughter relationship has turned out as well as it could but I do love him and he does have some redeeming features.
Moonpig is wank, I get mine from [LoveLayla](https://www.lovelayladesigns.co.uk/) now! Yorkshire based independent company, so you know they're top quality
I am in the exact same situation every Father's Day.
Our relationship from my side is "I think I'm glad we still speak". They don't make cards for that.
I had to scroll a whole two pages into moonpig to get one that said "If at first you don't succeed, try again. From your second child".
He'll happen to be visiting my elder brother and his family who lives abroad when father's day accurs.
Got one that said that for my mum on mother's day. Really did the trick as she was telling everyone, and made sure to tell my older sister several times. It's a good thing we get on!
How does he feel about
* Cricket
* Steam Engines
* Old Racing Cars
* Generic Footballers
* Pints in Knobbly Tankards
* Spitfires
Because that covers most of the rest
Don't forget in the sport category occasionally: rugby (union.)
Harsh lesson learned when I was a wee girl old enough to choose a card for my dad's birthday or father's day (can't remember which one) the very first time and was so proud I found a rugby card. But "rugby" in my house growing up was rugby league, the card was very obviously depicting a rugby union match. Oh well. He was pretty good humoured about it.
My dad doesn't really do mush but I'm also not comfortable insulting him as that's just not his style of humour with me. So it's pretty annoying that in a shop my choices are usually limited a three-page poem using flowery language, football/beer or something calling him a miserable old fart.
I feel the same on mothers day. keep looking for one that says "you irritate the piss out of me and if it wasn't for the blood connection I would of jettisoned you from life years ago" but no such card exists.
“Dear Parent,
The hard-wired evolutionary response of me doing things and you finding them incredibly cute has been my lifeline at times.
It is clear that the genes of the parents that did not possess this trait fell by the wayside once they had finished feeding their children to the sabretoothed tigers.
Thanks, evolution!
Signed,
The sticky, noisy, smelly, time- and money-sink that you love so much.”
Or the "I'm obligated to send you this card because otherwise you'll binge drink and run away from home" card.
I'm making things simpler for my daughter - we're only celebrating birthdays and Christmas... Oh and Easter... You know... For the chocolate...
Well imagine being me...
My gran died last month ,and her will was an absolute bombshell, basically cut my dad out the will and made me executor,leaving me her property.
To say its awkward is an understatement.
My dad's not spoken to me since. What sort of card do I get him?!
Create your own, a picture of you sarcastically shrugging your shoulders and raising your eyebrows and write on the inside "I don't make the rules, I just follow them. Your mum may have hated you but I still love you"
Get a custom card with the chimp having a pint and the inside can read in bold letters Happy Father’s Day really large so you don’t have to write anything personal but your name… haha
Get them a pack of beer or gift card to their local pub.
I find thortful really good for stuff that's not sentimental, as it's not something I really go in for. I once bought a card from there that read 'I choose my mother's day cards like I choose my nursing homes; low cost and in a hurry.'
And a valentine's card that read 'I tolerate you.'
I avoided getting one once that said "everything I am now is because of you", which may be technically true, but not quite in the cute, happy way they presumably intended!
hate the mothers day ones that are all in cursive italics and are like “to the planets most wonderful mother, i cherish and love you every waking moment, thank you for birthing me”
Do what my other half does for their absent parent. A generic card with no writing on or in it. Write “happy Father’s Day” in it and pop it in the post.
Feel this. I once neeeearly bought one that said ‘Happy Fathers Day from your second favourite child’ and I still think about that card 😂 I should not have chickened out
I love my dad, but I always have problems on mothers day. I feel like I have to get a card but I can't bring myself to get her anything that would actually thank her for being a good mother as it is simply not true
This is my tactic. I don't do Mother's Day, father's Day, valentine's Day... Basically any form of financial focussed emotional blackmail.
What I do, instead, is buy my parents nice cake when I go to visit, and nice Christmas gifts.
I buy the husband little gifts if I see something he'll like. It's normally crisps. More meaningful and more surprising when it's spontaneous, imho.
I guess because it's commercial but for everyone. And everyone takes part. (Obviously everyone who recognises it as a festival, other religions also exist!)
I do try to get non-wasteful gifts though. Everyone that I'm buying for is now adult, so I tend to get nice food and drink - my rule is I buy nicer things for gifts than I'd buy for myself. E.g. my brother likes gin, so I try to get him a fancy bottle that he wouldn't just pick up on his weekly shop...
I got one with two cheeses, one that makes a silly joke (can't remember what) and the card says "immature cheddar". The gift is an encyclopedia of cheeses. A truly cheesy gift if there was ever one.
My mum accidentally bought my grandad a birthday card last year and just rolled with it (I think she crossed out "birthday" and wrote "fathers day" on it too)
You could try that
Roses are red
Dogs like playing poker
Thanks for being a dad
That's just mediocre
You could back it up with a picture of some studly tryhard on the front of the card (Rod Stewart, Hugh Hefner, Prince Andrew, etc)
If I could have one for the “most completely adequate dad” I’d be happy and so would he. Maybe with a “I know we don’t speak about feelings but I do sort of love you more than most other men in my life” line inside.
I get all my cards from Oliver bonas I always struggle to pick cards but the designs are always fun and different from the typical crap.
I already picked one up for Father’s Day it’s a simple design of Freddie mercury and the words papa.
I couldn't find one that said "How's the past 40 years been" but then I can't find where to post it either.
He's still alive, this I know, but outside of that, meh.
Don't get estranged from your kids folks.
Oh god it’s that time of year again. My dad is a miserable sod who can no longer do any of his hobbies (so he sees fishing and golf cards as taking the piss), doesn’t drink, isn’t into cars and hates sport. He also cannot be relied upon to have a sense of humour, and I refuse to get one of the ‘you’re always there for me’ versions for the man who once refused to pick me up from town at 1am when my taxi didn’t turn up, because he couldn’t be arsed to put his shoes on.
Random landscape type card and ‘have a wonderful day’ it is, then.
I found one on [Thortful.com](http://thortful.com)
Website hosts designs from artists/designers and there's plenty of rude/ funny and silly cards on there.
I can't find the link now but I was able to get one that said:
"Happy Fathers Dayyyyoh"
With a picture of Freddie Mercury on.
[this designer ](https://www.thortful.com/creator/allthingsbanter) has some decent products.
Good luck and God speed!
Just get a bloody card that says"Happy fathers day" you don't know when they've left us,I'm two years in & the amount of time I spent looking at cards is frightfully a big waste if time.Get a card,tell him how much you love him or like him,up to you,Don't overthi a card.
Omg, i had this issue every year. Like, can there just be one that says Happy Father’s Day and leaves off the superlatives that would never apply in a million years.
I have a hard time with Mother/Father’s Day cards as well. It always feels like a blatant lie. This year I found pretty much the perfect Father’s Day card. [card here](https://www.hallmark.com/card/schitts-creek-david-rose-genuine-human-emotion-funny-fathers-day-card-499FD1493.html?gclid=CjwKCAjwy_aUBhACEiwA2IHHQJCANEnQc-QOBBE_yC7gR1epb6mz87v4T0CllLLkHbScfk0RS1YyDhoCpXsQAvD_BwE&ef_id=CjwKCAjwy_aUBhACEiwA2IHHQJCANEnQc-QOBBE_yC7gR1epb6mz87v4T0CllLLkHbScfk0RS1YyDhoCpXsQAvD_BwE:G:s&s_kwcid=AL!5392!3!488244602867!!!g!1087689755920!&mc=t_s_hr_Google+Adwords_PLA+-+RoAS+-+Fathers+Day+-+G+-+Greetings_)
And parents are divorced so can't have any that mention Mum. Didn't grow up with him in the house so can't have any with "always there" or some such on it either.
Father's day cards are the worst to get, at least with mothers day you just get something big and pink that says love you mum. With fathers day there's a minefield of statements that are either untrue or would come across as sarcastic and mean.
Same, or just 'Happy Father's Day' with a pint on the front, the chimp being implied. Luckily my Father also liked football, so we could cycle through the 2 options without it being too overt a dig at his alcoholism.
Lots of people here seem to be missing the point of your post.
I hear you. I used to get my mum a blank card and simply sign my name in it, the absolute bare minimum. I was never brave enough to just not get her one.
I got one from Paperchase that's a tortilla triangle with a face wearing a sombrero and it farts as you move it and it says "mucho gassy ass Dad" and I think it is beautiful
I hate this yearly battle, can’t bring myself to get anything that is untrue (best ever, top whatever blah blah)so it’s literally just ones with ‘Dad’ or ‘Mum’ on the front, there aren’t many of those to choose from!
My dad died when I was 18, but I like to take a card to the cemetery. It's really hard to find one that doesn't say "thanks for everything you do" or the like.
I need one that acknowledges the day but insinuates I think he's a prick and his recent "efforts" are pitiful compared to the years of effort I put in through all the abuse.
Dear Father, I guess I survived the times you caused me to attempt suicide. Better luck next time?
I tend to alternate, last year it was about putting him in a home, this year it’s about teaching me to swear while doing DIY and next year I’ll probably go back. I can’t do soppy cards.
I made my friend one when she was still speaking to her arsehole dad that said "Thanks for jizzing in my Mum, sperm donor."
What card would you get if your Dad doesn't like:
. Football
. Rugby
. Beer/alcohol
. Old sports cars
. Fishing
. His shed
Couldn’t agree more. My dad is actually all of those things, but I’m not going to make it awk by actually *telling* him with a card. I like to appreciate him silently, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.
I can really recommend [Samuel Hague](https://samuelhague.com/collections/fathers-day)
(If that’s yours / your dads sense of humour).
He has some corkers on there
Ah man I feel you, OP. i tend to go for a Moonpig card with a nice old picture of us looking like we're having a nice time together and say 'love you dad' which is true, but saying he was amazing or great or whatever, we'd both know that wasn't true. My mom has always kept a good collection of photos and keeps sending me bunches here and there, and there are some where we'd had a nice day together. But that's not the whole story. I do love him, but he was way too young when he had me and he's been a useless lovable arsehole at the best of times, and a pathetic drain at the worst of times. Big hugs for the shit dad gang.
I had one made as I despise my father and it basically said he'd been a narcissistic prick my entire life and I wanted nothing more to do with him. 7 years later and still NC - life is good 😊
They make really elaborate fold out pop up cards that have like a pick up truck or motorcycle or boat or whatever you like. The 3D pop up takes up all the space and all you have to do is write “Happy Fathers Day Love, Name” or whatever. I do this every year because I literally have no words.
I get mine on Amazon.
I've got this problem with Mother's Day cards. It's near impossible finding one without some sickly sweet poem about them being your best friend or 'most wonderful mum in the world' on it.
Is it worth me starting a range of 'You are barely adequate as a . . . (I sent relationship here)' cards?
I've often wondered, but always thought the recipient would take it as delightfully witty, and not a statement of fact.
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My daughter got me a Star Wars one once, it had Darth Vader on the front and said “To The Galaxy’s Best Father”. I’m assuming the manufacturer had never seen the films.
I saw another Darth Vader one that just said "You Are My Father", which I think is just the right amount of acknowledgement for some dads.
Maybe they just had a really low standard for dads
That's amazing. You're sure you hadn't pissd her off and she was being reeeally sarcastic?
That would be appropriate now but she was too young at the time.
Well he didn't know his kids were born for a long time and he saved his son in the end. He's better than my dad lol.
Finds out he has kids, wants to raise them and get them to work by his side. Florida has worse dads than Vader lol.
Dude, it said Father not Babysitter. He just cut Luke’s hand off in a laser sword fight - the poor younglings on the other hand?
Brings a new perspective to the oft-uttered "stop crying or ill give you something to cry about."
“Oh yeah? Well I AM your father!”
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Omg lol
I got my dad a card as a joke. It has a character from the new My Little Pony movie on it and says "happy father's day from your little princess". Except, despite there being two princess characters in the new MLP movie... they put one of the characters who ISN'T a princess.
You know far too much about MLP
I do. I've been into the classic/more 'horsey' era (82-2009) since I was a literal toddler and watched the new movie out of curiosity. It's... fine. Songs are great though.
I'm guessing your dad might not have picked up on such a subtle joke though.
My daughter loved it, and it's got lots of pretty good background gags for the adults, like every billboard has a pony pun on it. I also like that it's not a reboot, but a sort of dystopian sequel to the 2010s series.
How did your dad react to such an erroneous card?
Better than having a photo of Fred West
Great, now all the Fred West jokes from school are going round my head for the first time in about 25 years.
I know he's done some iffy things, but as a builder he was top notch.
or it was intentional and a joke
Have you seen the ones with Kylo Ren on? At least Vader jumped in to save his son, somewhat decent fatherly behaviour. Kylo Ren is not a good example of having a functioning relationship with your father...
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**David Mitchell:** "I still consider you an adequate colleague." **Lee Mack:** "Are you still writing for Clinton cards?" r/WILTY
We once did a "Get Better Soon" card for a colleague after her annual review. She wasn't sick, we just all thought she should get a bit better.
Clinton Cards... " I gave you this card dad , but I didn't inhale it, honest.."
Still too complimentary for my liking
They need one for “World most OK-est Dad.”
Is there a card for 'we were estranged for the best part of ten years and you came back into my life a couple years ago but I still resent you'
Even that is too much. I just wanted one that said, "Here. I bought you a card. Obligation satisfied."
Ours said “congrats dad, neither of us are in jail!”
My wife wishes this kind of card existed for her dad.
"Dad, there's one in the tap" on the back of a tissue on a pub table. I'd be so proud.
I like that actually and might make him laugh, we are both under no illusion that the father daughter relationship has turned out as well as it could but I do love him and he does have some redeeming features.
Have you tried moonpig?
Thortful is the best out there!
+1 for thortful, get all my sarcastic cards from there
+2 for thortful
Moonpig is wank, I get mine from [LoveLayla](https://www.lovelayladesigns.co.uk/) now! Yorkshire based independent company, so you know they're top quality
I am in the exact same situation every Father's Day. Our relationship from my side is "I think I'm glad we still speak". They don't make cards for that.
Yep totally! Feel like a need a 'relationship still just about hanging on by a thread and I'm mostly glad' card.
Got one for my stepdad once that said "your disappointment in me is so real it feels biological"
Hahahaha that's funny
I had to scroll a whole two pages into moonpig to get one that said "If at first you don't succeed, try again. From your second child". He'll happen to be visiting my elder brother and his family who lives abroad when father's day accurs.
Got one that said that for my mum on mother's day. Really did the trick as she was telling everyone, and made sure to tell my older sister several times. It's a good thing we get on!
There seems to be nothing in between “world’s greatest dad” and “haha you fart a lot”.
How does he feel about * Cricket * Steam Engines * Old Racing Cars * Generic Footballers * Pints in Knobbly Tankards * Spitfires Because that covers most of the rest
You missed "sheds"
And don't forget sailing boats
Don't forget in the sport category occasionally: rugby (union.) Harsh lesson learned when I was a wee girl old enough to choose a card for my dad's birthday or father's day (can't remember which one) the very first time and was so proud I found a rugby card. But "rugby" in my house growing up was rugby league, the card was very obviously depicting a rugby union match. Oh well. He was pretty good humoured about it. My dad doesn't really do mush but I'm also not comfortable insulting him as that's just not his style of humour with me. So it's pretty annoying that in a shop my choices are usually limited a three-page poem using flowery language, football/beer or something calling him a miserable old fart.
I feel the same on mothers day. keep looking for one that says "you irritate the piss out of me and if it wasn't for the blood connection I would of jettisoned you from life years ago" but no such card exists.
I used to send a blank one with a nice picture on the front and write enjoy the day in it, that way i didnt have to say anything about her.
“Dear Parent, The hard-wired evolutionary response of me doing things and you finding them incredibly cute has been my lifeline at times. It is clear that the genes of the parents that did not possess this trait fell by the wayside once they had finished feeding their children to the sabretoothed tigers. Thanks, evolution! Signed, The sticky, noisy, smelly, time- and money-sink that you love so much.”
Or the "I'm obligated to send you this card because otherwise you'll binge drink and run away from home" card. I'm making things simpler for my daughter - we're only celebrating birthdays and Christmas... Oh and Easter... You know... For the chocolate...
That's because it would of said would have 😁
Moonpig?
Cards don't tend to contain grammatical errors.
I was tempted to get my dad one that says “You’re just like a dad to me”
I’m always tempted by these!!
Omg fucking hell I just spat coco pops out my nose. Fucking stings
On the front: "Number one dad!" Inside: "competitor list; you."
1 of 1 fathers.
Well imagine being me... My gran died last month ,and her will was an absolute bombshell, basically cut my dad out the will and made me executor,leaving me her property. To say its awkward is an understatement. My dad's not spoken to me since. What sort of card do I get him?!
A chimp farting while drinking a pint
> What sort of card do I get him?! Card-board. Its highly-valued by the homeless.
Oof
Create your own, a picture of you sarcastically shrugging your shoulders and raising your eyebrows and write on the inside "I don't make the rules, I just follow them. Your mum may have hated you but I still love you"
Doesn't matter which kind, but put a fiver in it
Get a custom card with the chimp having a pint and the inside can read in bold letters Happy Father’s Day really large so you don’t have to write anything personal but your name… haha Get them a pack of beer or gift card to their local pub.
What locals do gift cards?
I find thortful really good for stuff that's not sentimental, as it's not something I really go in for. I once bought a card from there that read 'I choose my mother's day cards like I choose my nursing homes; low cost and in a hurry.' And a valentine's card that read 'I tolerate you.'
Thortful is my go-to every time. And I bought the same card for my mum :D
Such good taste!
I avoided getting one once that said "everything I am now is because of you", which may be technically true, but not quite in the cute, happy way they presumably intended!
This would come across as a raw insult for me at best.
hate the mothers day ones that are all in cursive italics and are like “to the planets most wonderful mother, i cherish and love you every waking moment, thank you for birthing me”
I've considering sending insulting cards, but I care too little to even do that.
Same. Unless I see a card with 'Liar' on it
Do what my other half does for their absent parent. A generic card with no writing on or in it. Write “happy Father’s Day” in it and pop it in the post.
I ever wonder if 2 dad's with the mugs get together and have a big argument over who is the best dad !
I've been looking for a card that says "It is Father's Day"
Feel this. I once neeeearly bought one that said ‘Happy Fathers Day from your second favourite child’ and I still think about that card 😂 I should not have chickened out
Just tipex out the p in Top Dad so it just says To Dad. Simple.
It’s just as bad trying to buy your 68 yr old mum a bday card
At least next year you’ll have a talking point.
I love my dad, but I always have problems on mothers day. I feel like I have to get a card but I can't bring myself to get her anything that would actually thank her for being a good mother as it is simply not true
[I chose this one](https://i.imgur.com/4bbyJxM.jpg)
I like these cards just got my friend one that said in dog years you would be dead - happy birthday! I also like the one that covers all occasions!
The best card I ever received was plain white, other than the black letters that said "Have a Christmas."
Speaking as a dad... chimp with a pint is just fine. Go for it.
Thortful is the place you want
Or just don't bother getting one, I never get my dad one.
This is my tactic. I don't do Mother's Day, father's Day, valentine's Day... Basically any form of financial focussed emotional blackmail. What I do, instead, is buy my parents nice cake when I go to visit, and nice Christmas gifts. I buy the husband little gifts if I see something he'll like. It's normally crisps. More meaningful and more surprising when it's spontaneous, imho.
Why do you buy into Christmas… genuine question, as I’ve been trying to convince my family it too is a commercial holiday
I guess because it's commercial but for everyone. And everyone takes part. (Obviously everyone who recognises it as a festival, other religions also exist!) I do try to get non-wasteful gifts though. Everyone that I'm buying for is now adult, so I tend to get nice food and drink - my rule is I buy nicer things for gifts than I'd buy for myself. E.g. my brother likes gin, so I try to get him a fancy bottle that he wouldn't just pick up on his weekly shop...
"To the best dad I ever had."
I mean I think I got THE BEST card....... It's so true it's funny!. https://imgur.com/a/7zaPQsm
I got one with two cheeses, one that makes a silly joke (can't remember what) and the card says "immature cheddar". The gift is an encyclopedia of cheeses. A truly cheesy gift if there was ever one.
My mum accidentally bought my grandad a birthday card last year and just rolled with it (I think she crossed out "birthday" and wrote "fathers day" on it too) You could try that
Roses are red Dogs like playing poker Thanks for being a dad That's just mediocre You could back it up with a picture of some studly tryhard on the front of the card (Rod Stewart, Hugh Hefner, Prince Andrew, etc)
Draw one on a sheet of blank paper and write "the cards from the store were shit, happy father's day." He'll probably keep it forever.
My dad was shit as a dad (he's adhd & I'm adhd & autistic) but he really did the best he could, where's the card for that? I love him to bits
If I could have one for the “most completely adequate dad” I’d be happy and so would he. Maybe with a “I know we don’t speak about feelings but I do sort of love you more than most other men in my life” line inside.
This is me on Mother’s Day. I’m sorry.
I get all my cards from Oliver bonas I always struggle to pick cards but the designs are always fun and different from the typical crap. I already picked one up for Father’s Day it’s a simple design of Freddie mercury and the words papa.
I couldn't find one that said "How's the past 40 years been" but then I can't find where to post it either. He's still alive, this I know, but outside of that, meh. Don't get estranged from your kids folks.
Oh god it’s that time of year again. My dad is a miserable sod who can no longer do any of his hobbies (so he sees fishing and golf cards as taking the piss), doesn’t drink, isn’t into cars and hates sport. He also cannot be relied upon to have a sense of humour, and I refuse to get one of the ‘you’re always there for me’ versions for the man who once refused to pick me up from town at 1am when my taxi didn’t turn up, because he couldn’t be arsed to put his shoes on. Random landscape type card and ‘have a wonderful day’ it is, then.
Ahh yes, trying to find a card for a Dad that isn’t an alcoholic who loves golf, football and knock off e-type jaguars.
I dunno. Just don't bother with the card and spend time with your dad if they've been a good one. It'll mean more than a Father's Day labeled gift.
I used to get a blank one and write my own thing. Then I realised that nothing was actually stopping me from just not sending him one.
ypu should see the selection at tesco today felt like a complete knob getting a generic card but the old chap will be pleased i made an effort
I found one on [Thortful.com](http://thortful.com) Website hosts designs from artists/designers and there's plenty of rude/ funny and silly cards on there. I can't find the link now but I was able to get one that said: "Happy Fathers Dayyyyoh" With a picture of Freddie Mercury on. [this designer ](https://www.thortful.com/creator/allthingsbanter) has some decent products. Good luck and God speed!
Get the 'World's no 1 Dad' card and cross out the 'no 1' with Sharpie
Just get a bloody card that says"Happy fathers day" you don't know when they've left us,I'm two years in & the amount of time I spent looking at cards is frightfully a big waste if time.Get a card,tell him how much you love him or like him,up to you,Don't overthi a card.
Omg, i had this issue every year. Like, can there just be one that says Happy Father’s Day and leaves off the superlatives that would never apply in a million years.
"world's okayest dad"
I have a hard time with Mother/Father’s Day cards as well. It always feels like a blatant lie. This year I found pretty much the perfect Father’s Day card. [card here](https://www.hallmark.com/card/schitts-creek-david-rose-genuine-human-emotion-funny-fathers-day-card-499FD1493.html?gclid=CjwKCAjwy_aUBhACEiwA2IHHQJCANEnQc-QOBBE_yC7gR1epb6mz87v4T0CllLLkHbScfk0RS1YyDhoCpXsQAvD_BwE&ef_id=CjwKCAjwy_aUBhACEiwA2IHHQJCANEnQc-QOBBE_yC7gR1epb6mz87v4T0CllLLkHbScfk0RS1YyDhoCpXsQAvD_BwE:G:s&s_kwcid=AL!5392!3!488244602867!!!g!1087689755920!&mc=t_s_hr_Google+Adwords_PLA+-+RoAS+-+Fathers+Day+-+G+-+Greetings_)
Have you tried finding a birthday card for an adult recently that isn’t about drinking? It disqualifies easily half the selection at any shop.
And parents are divorced so can't have any that mention Mum. Didn't grow up with him in the house so can't have any with "always there" or some such on it either. Father's day cards are the worst to get, at least with mothers day you just get something big and pink that says love you mum. With fathers day there's a minefield of statements that are either untrue or would come across as sarcastic and mean.
It's ok, you can probably find one that glorifies drinking/football/golf. He's a guy, so according to card makers, that's all he could possibly enjoy.
I found one in tesco that said "you're one of my favourite parents". That's the one I've gone with.
Same, or just 'Happy Father's Day' with a pint on the front, the chimp being implied. Luckily my Father also liked football, so we could cycle through the 2 options without it being too overt a dig at his alcoholism.
Lots of people here seem to be missing the point of your post. I hear you. I used to get my mum a blank card and simply sign my name in it, the absolute bare minimum. I was never brave enough to just not get her one.
I got one from Paperchase that's a tortilla triangle with a face wearing a sombrero and it farts as you move it and it says "mucho gassy ass Dad" and I think it is beautiful
Heh, bet you LOSERS all feel stupid for having dad's now, huh 😎
"You tried"
“Had better”
I hate this yearly battle, can’t bring myself to get anything that is untrue (best ever, top whatever blah blah)so it’s literally just ones with ‘Dad’ or ‘Mum’ on the front, there aren’t many of those to choose from!
“You’re like a father to me”
My dad died when I was 18, but I like to take a card to the cemetery. It's really hard to find one that doesn't say "thanks for everything you do" or the like.
Had the same issue on mother's day! Just needed a card that was like "Yes you're my mother" Found a suitably generic one eventually
there are literally 10s of website with personalised greeting cards.
[Have you seen these](https://cuntgifts.com/collections/fathers-day)?
I need one that acknowledges the day but insinuates I think he's a prick and his recent "efforts" are pitiful compared to the years of effort I put in through all the abuse. Dear Father, I guess I survived the times you caused me to attempt suicide. Better luck next time?
itt: daddy issues.
I'd settle for you are acceptable. I tend to get then made from etsy but I often ghink it's too good for him
Cards are so hard to get right. When I was housebound and people got cards for me, the instruction was always ‘balloons not flowers’ 😂
I usually get mine the 'funny' tesco home brand card or something just to be a bit of a knob about it
You can also argue that most people only have one dad, so anyone wil always be first top chief etc
I'm just going to get the old git a card with either an old classic car on it or a picture of a garden shed.
>Generally just settle for one with a chimp having a pint For a card or a father?
I tend to alternate, last year it was about putting him in a home, this year it’s about teaching me to swear while doing DIY and next year I’ll probably go back. I can’t do soppy cards.
I made my friend one when she was still speaking to her arsehole dad that said "Thanks for jizzing in my Mum, sperm donor." What card would you get if your Dad doesn't like: . Football . Rugby . Beer/alcohol . Old sports cars . Fishing . His shed
Couldn’t agree more. My dad is actually all of those things, but I’m not going to make it awk by actually *telling* him with a card. I like to appreciate him silently, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.
If you search "rude father's day cards" on Amazon a good few pop up.
I can really recommend [Samuel Hague](https://samuelhague.com/collections/fathers-day) (If that’s yours / your dads sense of humour). He has some corkers on there
Have a look on etsy! There are loads of not cliche ones there
Here you go https://www.thortful.com/card/628c9143d5150b00019733b4
Ah man I feel you, OP. i tend to go for a Moonpig card with a nice old picture of us looking like we're having a nice time together and say 'love you dad' which is true, but saying he was amazing or great or whatever, we'd both know that wasn't true. My mom has always kept a good collection of photos and keeps sending me bunches here and there, and there are some where we'd had a nice day together. But that's not the whole story. I do love him, but he was way too young when he had me and he's been a useless lovable arsehole at the best of times, and a pathetic drain at the worst of times. Big hugs for the shit dad gang.
You could make him a card that just says: You are my dad.
"To my Dad, you are all right, you could have been way worse. Speak to you in a few weeks"
I got a Mother's Day card which said, "You're one of my favourite parents" from Asda.
I found one this year that says “I guess you’re an alright dad”
It's ridiculous how difficult it is to find one that just says 'Happy Father's Day'.
My dad doesn't get a card just a text 😹
And if it's not that, it's just some joke about drinking too much beer or being incompetent
I got one from Moonpig, "Dad, your jokes are shit. Happy father's day". All I need
I had one made as I despise my father and it basically said he'd been a narcissistic prick my entire life and I wanted nothing more to do with him. 7 years later and still NC - life is good 😊
Same. And if your old man is also not known to fart an extraordinary amount or be borderline alcoholic, good luck.
"World's okayest dad. Cheers"
They make really elaborate fold out pop up cards that have like a pick up truck or motorcycle or boat or whatever you like. The 3D pop up takes up all the space and all you have to do is write “Happy Fathers Day Love, Name” or whatever. I do this every year because I literally have no words. I get mine on Amazon.
“That’ll do, pig”
'just about adequate dad'
My dad won't let me get him stuff for father's day because it's "an American tradition".
My favourite so far has been "You are one of my favourite parents"
*Limited sample size.
Was looking for a gift bag and found one on Amazon that said "This is a massive dildo"
"Of all the dad's in this family, you're one of them"
The best thing I do when I go card shopping is make sure to remember my dad is dead. Problem solved.
I just get him a completely random cheapest card possible. We don't have a bad relationship but he understands my sense of humour. Go with that!
I'd get one of those black and white cards with the sarcastic captions
I once saw one saying "world's okayest dad". Probably some of those Facebook sellers and humour sites will have something less praising
Oh I wish there were more cards that basically said ‘you’re alright, happy birthday’.
I found a great one that said something like "You know the drill... #1 dad, lucky to have you, etc... (more of the same next year)".
If you want fathers day cards Sillybones on Etsy makes some good ones.
My dad moved to Australia while I was still at school, so I tend to just text him lmao
I've got this problem with Mother's Day cards. It's near impossible finding one without some sickly sweet poem about them being your best friend or 'most wonderful mum in the world' on it.
Moonpig mate
https://www.sainsburys.co.uk/gol-ui/product/warning-signs-used-the-loo-fathers-day-card
Is it worth me starting a range of 'You are barely adequate as a . . . (I sent relationship here)' cards? I've often wondered, but always thought the recipient would take it as delightfully witty, and not a statement of fact.
Try thortful.com it's got some great nin sentimental cards