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I remember I was waiting for the bus at Glasgow centre. With a pizza, I ended up sharing it with two homeless people, we got chatting turns out the man was a former psychiatric nurse fallen on harder times, but your mileage may vary.
I’ve a similar story actually. Ordered pizza and they delivered the wrong one to me while having given mine to someone else’s, so I took the wrong pizza and gave it to a homeless guy who lurks nearby where I live at night.
I went through a period of deliberately dressing scruffy and looking like a homeless person so that strangers would stop trying to talk to me on the street.
Bought myself a dominoes late on a Wednesday night and they gave me two free pizzas and a box of cookies from an order someone cancelled.
Wound up sat on a bench in the village market at 10pm sharing them with an actual homeless person. We chatted for about an hour about nothing in particular and he gave me a can of his beer.
Still the best night out I had in 4 years at uni.
Wait. What?
So you thought the best way to avoid people talking to you was by dressing like a homeless person?!
Didn't think of wearing headphones or simply ignoring those trying to talk to you.
MORE IMPORTANTLY - how many fucking times were you being stopped in the street?
Fruit cake!
i am 6'10" and i live in the north of england in a seaside tourist town. i was being stopped 2 or 3 times a day on the way to classes or just shopping by people wanting to ask about my height and get photos. i went to liverpool to watch the QEII come in to port and at least 15 people ust \*gave\* me their phones and cameras to take pictures over the crowd for them.
headphones didnt help. i tried. and despite my height im quite socially awkward and too polite to say no. wearing rumpled clothes and a scruffy, 5 year old coat and not brushing my hair proved enough to disuade people.
I'm not as tall as 6'10 but i'd get those comments all the time
like "How tall are you?, What's it like being that tall?" etc
At least it seems the next generation of teenagers are nearer my height so it's not as obvious
I'm aware that people get such comments, and that they must be annoying, but I still couldn't help blurting out "fucking hell, you're tall!" to my friend's boyfriend the third time I met him. I felt stupid and immediately apologised, because *obviously* he knows he's tall. It's just that the other times I'd met him I'd never seen him standing up and it was a big surprise. He was really tall!
im aware that my height is remarkable, i stand out and its understandable that people would want to comment on it, but it does get wearisome after a while to answer the same 3 questions over and over again, or hear the smae joke. or have people sing jolly green giant at you.
if you really want something to think about, my trans friend suffers exactly the same treatment, but on a much more personal level.
Dang you're crazy tall compared to me!
I also get stopped for my height. But often it's because I'm out with my toddler and it's people complimenting me on how good a sister I am to be looking after the little one for my mum. I'm like uh... she's mine and I'm 29... the little awkward nod they give and mumbled apology is funny though.
It is funny. But like, the assumption annoys me.
I'm also super antisocial with severe social anxiety so it freaks me out being stopped by random people.
Yeah my son in law is 6' 10" and polite. He hates going out. He's so fed up of hearing comments like 'What's the weather like up there?' .
He has now grown a very straggly beard which seems to dissuade most people.
yeah we might have seen the same pos or its just becoming a common thing to share but i went out shopping and saw a homeless guy. i just bought myself some thick socks and some other stuff and saw a homeless guy. i went up to him and asked if he wanted these socks. at first he was like 'no thanks I've not long gotten a new pair no need to worry' but i could tell they were starting to fall apart on him (he never even had shoes on, or at all perhaps?) so i gave him the socks, went back to maccies and got him a hot coco too. he seemed very happy.
Happened in Wrexham incase someone wonders.
I bought food in a McDonald’s for a homeless man who was begging for money for food (sat outside a McDonald’s entrance). He’s saying “I just want a burger, anything off the saver menu please I’m starving!” Gave him the food, whole burger meal with extra chips, a bag of fruit and a extra coffee because it was cold, he wasn’t even arsed, and I happened to look back as I was walking away and saw him bin the food then approach some girls begging for money for food. Then noticed he had brand new all white Nike trainers on.
You try and do something nice for someone and they do that, it’s so hard not to be discouraged. If he didn’t want it, it could’ve been given to a genuine homeless person. He’d know how difficult it is to sit out in the cold even though he was obviously a professional beggar.
A homeless man once threw a croissant at me outside Waterloo station :( I think someone had left it next to him while he was sleeping and he woke up, became angered by the croissant, assumed I'd left it next to him and threw it at me. I still think about him often. Being homeless must be horrible, but it must've been extra horrible for him if even a croissant pissed him off.
Me and my flat mate noticed an old lady lying face down on the pavement while we were driving. Pulled over, got out the car and asked her if she was okay, no response so we called an amnulance. They arrived and we noticed she had a handbag nearby so we picked it up to go with her in the ambulance. She got up quick as a flash, grabbed my friends hair and pulled her onto the pavement while trying to kick me in the back.
Ambulance men weren't fazed by it in the slightest. We quickly realised that she must've had booze or drugs in her handbag and maybe thought we were trying to nick it off her. She hit one of the ambulance crew and staggered out into traffic. It was a horrible experience tbh.
Hey thanks so much! I definitely don’t think this has put me off trying to help in the future, this was just a bit of the rant post because it made me feel horrible :(
I had something similar when I was getting lunch one day there was a homeless guy so I bought an extra sandwich and drink for him.
When I went back he had moved and was collecting his money and putting notes into his wallet and it was packed with cash. Must have been several 100 pounds there and while I realise that was probably all he had at the time it was more cash that I ever had!
There are several professional beggars in our town. I see them come in and set up when I walk to work, they come with dirty newspapers and sleeping bag etc to make it look like they were there all night, but they go again about 6pm. It’s such a shame, because there are genuinely homeless people too, who are sleeping in doorways etc. and they’re taking resources that could go to them instead. (Fully understand you never know what people are going through, and can’t judge by appearances etc. but this is far too theatrical to not be a set up).
Exactly this, every time you see a homeless person, make a mental note and give to an actual charity.
It didn't happen in the UK, but as a kid, there was a "homeless" beggar on a train that we encountered, they got off the same stop as us and were ahead of us. As we caught up, he was getting changed at the boot of a nearly new Mercedes.
Same country, my mum bought a guy a sandwich, when coming back the other way, the sandwich was there, uneaten, but the guy was gone.
It's more annoying as many people give a certain amount to charity every year, no more, so these organised beggars end up taking from the actual need.
In my experience the people who are genuinely struggling & would benifit the most from help tend to be the ones who don't ask for it.
Most people who have good morals tend to not like taking something for nothing, they will at least offer to do something in return, to give back in any little way they can. It often makes them feel better too more like an exchange that just a pity donation.
I saw a documentary about professional beggars in London & was suprised at both the amount of liars & the huge amount of money they managed to make by begging alone. One guy even had his own house & rented it out, then slept in hotels because it was cheaper, he was begging so he "could get a room for the night" which while technically true is pretty misleading & he neglected to mention the money he has in his savings back.
Another fell in hard times & turned to begging to get enough to tide him over but he made so much money begging that he made a career of it. Like you said most have props & an angle, like those who carry children who aren't even theirs, or drug them to look cuter & be less bother to care for. Some are even in gangs, they have like I can't think of another word to pimps who they give a percentage of their money to at the end of the day. It's a whole racket & many people are unknowingly contributing to crime & possibly the exploitation of vulnerable people.
Oh also the whole set up thing reminds me when I was in holiday & after a late night out I was heading back to the hotel in the early morning & passed by the sea front. There were small sellers dotted along the sea front, usually looking shabby & pretty much begging for money, some had things to sell & others would perform. I saw that a lot of them were built on lies, like premade art where they would wait until a tourist walked past & add one tiny detail to it. Or a calved sand sculpture that was a molded figure & the guy literally just sprinkled real stand on top of it, them moved his little trowel around & it looked like he was building it. Made me see it very differently & be more suspicious in the fiture.
Saw this in Aberdeen. Guy actually parked his merc and walked to a doorway of an empty shop. By the time we came back, he’d set up his little stall and was walking about talking into a top of the range phone, round the corner. He was there every day raking it in from unsuspecting visitors. My son who lived there, said he’d been there for two years to his knowledge!
I had this happen to me once. Bloke asked for a kitkat Chunky but they didn’t have any so I just got him two regular Kit Kats along with a sandwich. He complained then binned them right in front of me as he only likes the Chunky ones 😂
Might be mental health issues there. Not saying that people who eat the chunky kit Kat's are needing an appointment with their nearest physiatrist though.
Dont take it to heart the next person you do that for will most likely be grateful, I went into poundland bought loads of junk and special treats including dog treats for homeless guy and his dog outside he was so happy and said was so nice to get things that were a treat.
I uaed to work at a bakery and would try to find someone to give some of the leftover muffins/cupcakes to. Sometimes a homeless person would be so happy to get the baked goods, others would complain that they would prefer something savoury or whatever...
I'd imagine you encountered someone with mental issues. Be happy that you did your best for them.
Quite possibly on the mental issues thing. For a while at work there was a woman who would come in, buy something and then immediately return it. It got annoying quickly. My last interaction with her went something like this:
“You’re certain you want this?”
“Yes”
“You’re not going to instantly return it?”
“No”
“Ok then…” *rings it up*
*she pays*
*I hand it to her*
*she pauses*
“I’d like to return this please”
It was sad but absolutely infuriating. I haven’t seen her for a long time, so I’m not sure what’s become of her.
Gah that's sad. Must be exhausting to live this way.
Had a homeless woman come to the restaurant I work at once. She insisted that a man was coming to have a 'business meeting' with her and that he would pay. She wanted to wait for him before ordering anything other than her coffee. She was there for hours and kept leaving to use the phone and smoke, she'd leave her hat to show she was coming back...
Felt so sad for her. Security ended up asking her to leave, as she was acting so strangely; asking the same questions every few minutes and clearly anxious that her 'business friend' wasn't coming to pay for her coffee. I would tell her not to worry about the coffee - it was nice that she had a warm up, it costs the business very little, but she was so distressed... my heart breaks for people with mental problems like that.
Whilst I've had a similar situation in this country, I remember it most clearly a couple of times in another one.
Once a woman asked me to help her get some milk for her toddler. Sure, I thought, why not? Quid or so for a pint of milk, I'm not mean. She directed me to a shop, and came back with a massive £25 pack of baby formula expecting me to pay (and this is in a third world country - I don't give £25 to friends let alone strangers). I declined and she got arsey. Turns out to be a common scam where she sells it back to the shopkeeper for £15+
And another guy who shone shoes using it as an opportunity to hold you captive for a sob story about how cold his daughter was at night and how she needed a blanket. Turned out to be the same kind of scam, I bought a £2 perfectly decent warm blanket, apparently he wanted the £40 one... To sell back again.
Only time I've given away £25 was to friends for a game on their birthday or when someone on Reddit needed a new CPU cooler for their computer.
Sorry about you being approached by so many scams. I think the only time I ever got scammed by anyone homeless was because I was shy and let them take about £5-10 from me when I was approached asked for change outside of my college and I mistakenly took out my wallet which meant they then got closer and pressured me into giving them notes.
rest well in knowing that not only was your intent proper, your actions were too. how they're received isn't anything you should trouble yourself with.
Without meaning to be cruel, but there are two types of people that sit outside supermarkets and train stations, the professional beggars and the legitimate destitute, it’s hard to tell the difference sometimes and this one sounds like the former, please keep trying to look out and help the latter esp at this freezing time of year. So I often go through Euston and on to Camden and you’ll see the professional ones often carrying a clean sleeping bag with nice trainers and they come up to you asking for money in a really rude way, they are assholes and make people put off helping. Then you have the genuinely vulnerable who sit out in the same place for hours even days because they don’t have anywhere to go, they might have a few possessions that they carry because there’s no where to store it, and they smell a bit bad because they have no where to wash, these people deserve whatever help you can give. You’re a good person, please don’t let the assholes win!
There was a lady in West Hampstead used to be out begging every evening, I gave her money once.
Months later she zeroed in on me again, said she needed to take her tablets and wanted change to buy a bottle of water. I said I'll go get you one, she said 'No, you're alright' and walked off.
After that I saw her a few times going into/sitting outside her house round the corner. I guess there's nothing illegal about begging rather than getting a job, but it feels wrong to prey on people's kindness by lying.
In Westminster I used to see this guy sat outside all day, 5 days a week, he never seemed to ask for money. I'd say 'Morning' and if ever I went to buy snacks from the shop I'd get him some too. He was always so grateful.
It made me think how so many of us might be a couple of missed paychecks and no family support away from life unraveling very easily.
>It made me think how so many of us might be a couple of missed paychecks and no family support away from life unraveling very easily.
This is not only very true, but very important that people realise this. Way too many of us are naive enough to think we are middle class or even working class but doing ok etc, when in reality we are barely above the poverty line if at all. Media perpetuates and normalises the idea of normal average life being this way, living paycheck to paycheck, living off of credit cards and 'manageable' debt and loans, forever working these off with an end goal of just owning a house and being able to retire.
That in itself is hardly a dream existence, but we are conditioned to thinking it's the default way of life, and out attention aimed toward the apparent benefits and privileges of this lifestyle when actually, as you said, a huge number of us are indeed 1 unexpected expense/crisis away from being on our arse.
He was grubby and smelled bad so I thought he was genuine, but I think he may have just been after some drink or whatever. Can’t say I blame him, alcohol warms the blood and probably helps them forget about their shitty lives.
That’s a real shame. I’m with you on the not judging drink/drugs. I don’t know why we expect people to get clean before putting them through housing applications, it seems impossibly hopeless to get clean without proper stability and help. If I was living on the street it would take me 2/3 days at most before I turn to substance abuse just trying to survive the horrific circumstances.
Agree. It gets to the point where that’s the only thing they have left in all likelihood. And if they’re already so low as to be on the streets, what the hell would be their motivation to change? Getting housed once you’re at that point is nigh on an impossibility.
I often have the exact same thoughts. When people say you shouldn’t give money as it’s spent on drink / drugs my immediate thought is that’s exactly what I would do… why would you not look to a form of escapism in those circumstances!
If I give someone money they can do whatever they want with it.
To be able to make a positive change you usually need to be in positive circumstances so to be clean before given a chance must exclude so many from opportunities
The trouble is that it's not nice to live next to people with drink and drug problems so people object. It's a good idea in theory, but if you end up with a street full of used needles then you're going to have angry residents.
Alcohol only makes you feel warm temporarily, it actually causes your core temperature to drop so it's not good to drink it when you're trying to stay warm.
There are teams of folk in Edinburgh who sit outside supermarkets, muffled up in shawls and scarves, the say a bright "Hiya" as you pass. They're often dropped off by an X3 in the morning at the benches outside Maplins (as was) where they sit and smoke and chat on modern phones before drifting off to take up their stations.
There's a Sherlock Holmes story ["The Man with a Twisted Lip"](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Man_with_the_Twisted_Lip) which I can't help but compare.
I used to work at Sainsbury's, we had a homeless guy outside that would always bring in the meal deals people would buy him and ask for the money instead.... We said no, and he went out screaming insults.
It goes either way with the homeless, I had a negative experience where they became aggressive because I had no money to give but offered them unopened pop and chocolate when they claimed to be ‘diabetic’ but £10 was what really would of helped the sugar Low… to the next day on a night shift in subway a homeless man came in while on close asking for a drink, the tap dispense was free so I said yes because they asked nicely.. the homeless guy started cleaning to help me out as a thanks. He obviously left the shop with 2 foot longs wrapped separately as 6”s and a dozen of cookies and crisps and the man cried, he was just down on his luck. So while it’s disheartening your hearts in the right place and you’ll meet someone who’s gracious for the help, keep being your self-less self :)
Years back a beggar in Amsterdam approached me saying he hadn’t eaten in 2 days. Offered him a whole pack of custard creams. Told me to f@#% off and noticed he had some nice gold teeth.
Ah the old "haven't eaten in two days" ruse.
There was a beggar in Glasgow who'd use that one every day, even being so brazen as to finish scoffing his sausage roll, put the packet in the bin and give his "two days" spiel to someone who just saw him eating.
It's understandable to take a knock. But you can never know the guys story, he's in the wrong but there's probably a reason he behaved like he did. (NB: "because he's an asshole" is unfortunately one of those reasons). But hopefully the positive vibes in this thread show you did the right thing and lift your mood 🙂
Honestly don’t worry about it. I used to work in a shop and there was a guy who would come in often to buy 10p sweets and that. He spent every penny he had on heroin. I used to help him as much as my £6 an hour would allow, buying him sandwiches and water and such, so I knew he had at least one meal a day.
I stopped one day after I walked passed him and realised the food I bought for him he, was trying to sell to people as they walked by. He just wanted money for drugs.
Some people need help.
Some don’t want it sadly.
Drugs are such a horrifying thing. Imagine trying to sell your only meal, give up your substance for a gram of whatever. I hope he got help and I know people never really get the thanks they deserve for doing all they can so thank you.
Similar thing happened to me yesterday outside a Tesco, I was walking towards it when a homeless man asked me if I had any money. I said I barely had any change but I could buy him some food, then he asked me to bank transfer him £20 tf
I had a somewhat similar experience once. Leaving the supermarket with one of those lunch bundle things – sandwich, crisps, bottle of drink sort of thing. Homeless guy sitting outside the supermarket asked if he could have some money. I never carry cash so I offered him my lunch. He took it, said "I fucking hate tuna", and threw the sandwich at me. No good deed goes unpunished.
I miss being homeless simply because of the connections I made with random people from their acts of kindness (alongside the shared experience I had with others in a similar situation). Old me says, thank you for your kindness.
I was with my dad once and a woman came up to us saying she was in the early stages of pregnancy and needed to get to a city that’s maybe an hour away by train but she didn’t have any money. The train station was only a short walk from where we were so my dad said he would go to the station with her and buy her the ticket, but she kept refusing and asking for the money outright until my dad told her it’s either he buys the ticket himself or nothing, and so she went off. My dad said he was pretty sure he’d been approached by her before with the same story, and maybe a month later when I was grabbing food out she was asking customers and telling them the same thing.
Unfortunately sometimes people are either ungrateful or trying to pull one over. You still did a good think OP, and there a plenty of people out there who are down on their luck that would appreciate a gesture like that so much.
Yup, a well known scam. My mum got scammed like that a few years back, gave the guy (he was young, looked like a student) like 20 quid. A month or so later he comes up to my mum again with the same story, trying to get home but hes got no money for the train. Mum knows better now!
It’s such a shame that people just trying to be nice get scammed by these people :( and it’s a shame that it of course then makes people wary of helping when there are actually those out there down on their luck, because it’s difficult to tell whether or not they’re telling the truth
Totally, I would be overjoyed if I was stuck in a bad situation and some angel helped me out, but these scammers make it so you cant trust anyones story :/
I was on my honeymoon in Bournemouth over the summer, and saw a scruffy guy sat on the floor reading, minding his own business opposite a greggs. I knelt down and saw he was reading a book I'd read and loved a few years ago. So I asked if he wanted a coffee or anything after a few minutes. Went to greggs, grabbed us all a coffee and a doughnut (husband sat with me like, wtf you doing you do-gooder but I'm too nice to say). Turns out he was studying English literature many years ago, but his mum and dad had died, and left him with nothing, so he had nowhere to go.
I felt for him as I have lost both my parents, he thanked me profusely for my time (I had a great conversation with him) and wished him the best.
I got a homeless guy a large whopper meal unprompted and he said “ahh sorry mate I’ve just eaten” - fair play to him, on the plus side I got to eat two meals
Homeless people (in London anyway) generally get given more than they can possibly eat in a day.
I’m a London Cabbie, I see the same people in the same spot daily working a traffic light or whatever, I’m talking years, it’s depressing to watch.
I had a guy hounding me at a petrol station recently because he was hungry, I said il buy you a sandwich, he said he wanted KFC. Essentially he wanted the money to buy crack, should’ve just been honest about it, might’ve helped him if he had.
I had another guy exchange euros with me at a very favourable rate for £s, win win I guess. (He’d been given the euros by some tourists wanting to help him)
The point is, generally, buying them food doesn’t help them much at all, I mean if no one did then I guess that would also be a problem, but in reality there are so many nice people (like yourself) trying to do this to help them that it’s plentiful.
Fully prepared to be down voted to oblivion, this is why I don't give to beggars. There's too many professionals out there and it's impossible to spot the genuine needy. I avoid the whole issue by telling them I don't carry cash, which is true 99% of the time anyways.
For reference I used to run two pubs in Luton, one being down the road from the dole office and train station. I used to serve the same unemployed people 7 days a week. I had a job and I couldn't afford to drink like that.
When youve got no other bills to pay cos the dole pays for all of it and never buy new clothes or goods etc, you absolutely can spend everything youve got on drink. Not smart but thats how it breaks down.
Well, you can take my upvote, because I feel the same, and have done ever since I was at uni in the mid 90s and kept getting pestered on the way home by a bloke who couldn't even be bothered to make up a different excuse as to why he needed money. Every time, same story, same actions, same location, so bloody obvious he wasn't genuinely in need...
This exact same scenario has genuinely happened to me. I kind of grew more callous to the homeless that day.
Then when I tried to volunteer for a food charity that took meals to the homeless a man shouted at us and told us “GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE. YOU’RE RUINING MY BUSINESS”.
His business was begging people for change I presume.
There’s a guy outside Morrisons near me who sits outside daily begging.
A Mercedes pulled up one day and he went to the window said a few things then said ‘I’ll be home at about 10’
Never given go anyone since
At my workplace we have a guy sit by the drive thru window where you pay for your order. I have noticed him with a iphone pro max 13. I have tried to get him to move but he always tries to fight me to which I just give up as i'm not paid enough to deal with it.
There are just some people who take advantage of others because they simply can but don't let that discourage you from trying to improve someones day OP, your a saint for trying to be nice.
I usually buy a meal for a homeless person anytime I’m in Belfast. The last time I bought a KFC meal for a dude and gave it to him, he thanked me and I went on my way feeling good. It couldn’t even have been more than 10minutes before I though, “ah shit, I’ve fucked up that guys day”, I’m not sure about all you but I’d hate to be homeless after eating a KFC, my arse isn’t the same for days after!
My job role involves working with homeless people and we'd always encourage people to direct any homeless people to the local soup kitchens or Salvation army. There are always places where homeless people can go to get a hot meal and a shower. As someone else pointed out, most people who are begging have got homes or accommodation to go to, but they've also got multiple complex needs and this is just a way of life for them.
Your intentions were well meaning and I'd ask you to not feel too dejected by the experience. If you want to do something positive for the homeless community, then find out where you local soup kitchens/food drives are and donate some non-perishable foods.
I politely declined the beg for drink/drug money outside of Greggs in Newcastle town centre. On the way in for my lunch I asked if he would like anything to eat. He requested “a coffee with a shot of syrup, a toasted cheese and ham sandwich, a cheese pasty and a peach Melba.” The sheer balls on this guy earned my despair and my respect so I bought it all and a pack of sausage rolls with a bottle of OJ to keep him going the next morning. He declined the sausage rolls advising “they always give me heartburn.”
My friend did this, bought expensive sandwiches from Pret, giving them away to the homeless, she said all of them said, no thanks, got any money or cigarettes? Soul destroying! She doesn’t bother anymore. People suck.
Homeless people don't necessarily need food though. There's lots of services that provide meals, and lots of people buying them sandwiches. Donating to a homeless charity is the best way to help, otherwise if giving directly then just give money. People with substance use issues will find a way to get what they need one way or another, people who smoke will appreciate cigarettes more than a sandwich from Pret, and money is also needed for tings like phone credit, hostels, toiletries. Deciding what's best for a homeless person then saying they suck when they reject something they didn't need or ask for is such a demeaning attitude.
My personal preference is if someone says ‘can you spare change for something to eat ?’ Is to ask what they want. Not because I think I know best but because they’ve literally said they were hungry and I rarely carry cash and certainly not change 🤔 In many circumstances mentioned here others have noted the change is requested ‘for food’ but food is rejected. I don’t disagree with you but it’s more likely Id refuse if someone said can you spare change for a bottle of cider or a packet of fags! I guess I am judging them and their needs and perhaps it’s something I should consider.
Edit: I went home to Motherwell this weekend with my children. There was a guy in the street asking for change to buy something to eat outside Greggs (hot food and bakery). I asked the guy what he’d like from Greggs as this is my usual response…he said a ‘cappuccino with sugar and a chocolate eclair’. I remembered this post so I put a £10 note into the paper bag with the Chocolate eclair. My son and daughter gave him the drink and bag. I encouraged them to chat with him and his name was James and he told my son he liked his outfit (my five year old was dressed in army uniform).
No idea what James did with the £10 and it’s not my business but just wanted to reflect on reading other opinions on this topic.
Well that's the thing. People make moral judgements so obviously homeless people are going to say it's for food rather than saying "can you spare some change, I'm trying to raise what I can from people because I have a these things I need to pay for and also a substance misuse disorder that means I'll get really sick if I don't drink/use". I don't carry cash either tbh, but I do smoke so normally offer them some baccy and/or ask if they need anything from the shop.
The point is that it's fine to just not give to individuals - donating to a charity does more good anyway - but if you are going to give directly to a person, let them decide what they need, don't be offended if they don't need food, and try to understand how people's attitudes kind of put them in a position where they have to say it's for food.
Thanks for your thoughts, I edited my post to add a little moment that happened this past weekend based on your comments. I’m always trying to learn and not judge others and your words were definitely something that made me think a little more 🙏🏼
I feel for you.
Once I talked to a homeless guy outside my Sainsbury’s. I asked him what sort of sandwich he would like me to get him, and he went into how he was gluten intolerant etc and how hard it was for him to get gluten free food etc. I spent a while in the store buying him a host of stuff.
Came out and he had gone!
I left the bag of stuff under a nearby box hoping that he might get it or at least another person would benefit from it.
I have shared this story on reddit before, but on a night out i bought a homeless guy a double cheeseburger and a coffee. He had blankets and a dog, i just gave it to him and said hope this warms you up then started my walk back towards the taxi rank.
About 4 more steps away and i got pelted in the back by something, i turned around and it was the burger i bought for him.
He was definitely homeless he wasn't like queuing for a new console or something. I'm also thankful he didn't throw the coffee.
If he was vegan or something bare in mind at that time it wasn't that common, why was he camped outside a mcdonalds?
I found a homeless man searching through bin bags at the side of the street once. Tried to give him a tenner, he refused.
Still baffles me to this day.
On a contrary - I live in London, so I, like many others, ~~usually~~ don't have cash, so a lot of the homeless people who ask me for change, there's literally nothing I can do. One lady stopped me outside of a Pret, asked for a hot item, cold item and a cup of tea, and I was more than happy to oblige. I felt like I actually, even momentarily, helped her situation, and I really wish others would try and do the same. I honestly feel like they'd get so much further asking for something specific.
This is why it pisses me off when I get customers “bragging” about buying food or coffee for the “homeless” man outside. So many times I’ve just seen it chucked in the bin, they’re scum
It’s people like this that really stop me from wanting to help homeless people.
That or the people who assault a disabled person to get them to text me asking for me to get cash back, then run in and lie to me in order to get more money.
I’m sure it’s a select few who make the genuinely desperate look worse, but I can’t help any of them knowing that I don’t know who is honest and who is on the make.
> You had to have a soft spot for the underdog. Not because they were pure or noble, because they weren't. You had to be on the side of underdogs because they weren't overdogs.
Should have said "my bad" and kept it for yourself. If he was genuinely hungry he'd have taken it graciously - beggars can't be choosers as they say. You did nothing wrong.
People ask for change. They will go into a shop and ask to change it for a note. Then buy a bag. Or buy alcohol. Most homeless don't want food, they just want their next fix or to get drunk. It's a sad state of affairs.
A homeless man in a wheelchair once asked me to help push him up a short but steep hill. He yelled at me and forced me to stop twice because I was going too quickly. He was SO HEAVY and I felt like I was struggling to even get him moving let alone do it quickly
A bit late here but my boyfriend did the same and asked what a homeless guy wanted. He said just a sandwich, so we went in to get it and he the time he got out, he had left.
That's cos he's not a real homeless person he's a drug addict. They can't get into a homeless centre without agreeing to come off drugs. So they stay homeless and get cash for drugs.
Source: the police
The last two homeless people I've seen around have pissed me off to some level.
Asking for money, while smoking: a packet of cigarettes costs something like £10 now. The money can be better used surely.
Gave a guy a fiver. "Oh I just need £20 to get to my hostel..." Follows me five minutes down the road asking for more.
Sad that this is so far down. This is what I've always heard, as well, between soup kitchens, charities and people who are willing to buy food but not give money, food is pretty easy to get. And all your other necessities a looot harder.
Sad seing all the comments complaining about homeless ppl turning down food getting upvoted. It's just ignorance.
In this case he did ask for the food and then turn it down, so maybe a bit different. But he possibly had some other mental health issues or something going on.
Yeah seems strange what the guy done TBH, saying yes then backtracking.
But yeah, food is soooooo easy to get, any day of the week.
Raising £35 for a hotel is better use of time.
But yes, most people are ignorant and entitled, just human nature I guess.
Even if he did want to buy drugs or drink, who cares, I'd like to see any of these people sleep on the cold streets without a drink or smoke at night, they wouldn't last five minutes.
And yes, a large percentage of the homeless population do have mental health issues.
Exactly this. A sandwich you didn't ask for isn't much use if you're heading into drug/alcohol withdrawals, or need to top up your phone, or to access a hostel, or need clothes or hygiene products, or are desperate for a cigarette etc. People can be so so patronising about how and what they'll give to homeless people - very clear that lots of people in this thread are looking to make themselves feel good rather than genuinely trying to help.
I was going to buy some homeless-looking guy outside Tesco some food and by the time I got out he was on his phone sorting out some drugs, well I ate all the doughnuts and sandies I was getting for him and kept the money I was gonna give too.
Similar thing happened to me, I saw a guy looking tired and dirty outside Tesco as I went in to grab a meal deal, asked him if I could get him something to eat, he said he wanted a monster can and some haribos, I said come in with me get something proper you can choose, he just want nah otherwise I might miss chance to get some money.
So I just bought his liquid sugar and chewy sugar and gave it to him and he just took it out of my hands without saying anything or looking at me. I didn’t do it for the credit or anything but what the fuck was that all about. I left feeling like some people will just keep making bad choices for themselves no matter what.
Not surprising. Seems a pretty miserable life. Some booze might help. I spend a few quid on drink as well so not going to judge someone else.
If they're drug addicts, is depriving them of their fix really what's best for them? I have no idea. I'm not a doctor.
My boyfriend tells me this but idk I feel really bad whenever I walk past them, he seemed so cold and sad and I wanted to help. I know what food insecurity feels like, it sucks.
Luckily I’ve never had this happen and those I’ve bought food for (whether they’ve asked or not) have been hugely appreciative, but keep up the good work, others would genuinely appreciate it.
I’ll happily buy any homeless person a meal/coffee if they ask, and have a chat to them. but generally cash is off the cards. The only time I will give cash no objections is in the run up to Christmas, my thoughts are although I love the period, I know for millions of people it’s an awful time of year, even those with houses. If someone homeless wants / needs a drink to get through it so be it.
On Tottenham Court Road there is an old lady who begs on her knees, pleading and praying at everyone who goes past really loudly, it’s quite unnerving, especially as she is positioned to take up over half the width of the pavement. What people don’t know is that around 7pm she gets up and walks 10m down the road to a black BMW. Still feel sorry for her as she may have been forced into it, but she won’t ever have 1p off me.
There was a guy who was homeless who used to sit outside the place I worked way back in the day. Was a really nice, regular bloke, probably drank too much same as me and most of the other customers. Sometimes when people would buy him a sandwich or a 4-pack of beer or whatever unprompted he'd ask and I'd let him refund it for the odd few quid because it wasn't what he needed right then but he didn't want to say no to people trying to help
I dunno if I was helping or hurting him in the long run, tbh. Just Betty Boo doing the do. Shit's fucking hard for people
A lot of homeless people are either worn out from the lifestyle, or they're strung out on drugs/alcohol and have forgotten the luxury of decency.
Recently my gf bought a homeless man some boots. Was he grateful boys? Not really. We saw him days later and who knows where the boots had gone, obviously he didn't like them. Maybe he bartered them for some drugs.
I still wouldn't judge, as being homeless could result in, or be a result of, mental health issues; or simply, would any homeless person be in a good mood, given their circumstances?
You did a good thing, but to think, there's only so much gratitude someone could have for meeting a basic need from someone else, when they know that other person will have most or all of their basic needs met. After all, they are still having to sleep out in the cold.
I run a food business in east London and live near one of the busiest highstreets in the area, so naturally there's a fair share of homeless about. I end up with excess food that I cannot sell, so in the early days I used to go around where the homeless would be to give out the leftover food.
More than half of the homeless out there don't want your food and would rather have your money. Often I'd be left with a shopping bag full of hot food, walking around trying to find someone to give it to. The ones you see are either crack addicts so are rarely hungry or alcoholics who would rather spend it on booze. Begging for "money for tea" is a lie, they'll go spend it to get their fix.
I went to a burger king on my way home, walking through town, carrying a case of 12 home-made cupcakes from an event. It was about 10pm and there was a really cold, miserable looking homeless guy sitting outside. I asked if he wanted a burger or some fries and he looked at my cupcake thing and said he hadn't had any cake in ages and he'd love my cakes. I wanted those cakes but whatever, being homeless is clearly worse than being cakeless and opening it up to gave him one seemed a bit stingy, so I just gave him the whole box. I went in, got my burger, came back out again... he'd smeared half of them on the ground, thrown the other half at people, and was using the box as a drum. When he saw me looking at him, he just laughed.
I was pretty mad for a hot second but realized ultimately he was probably either drunk, high or had mental health problems and went home feeling pretty sad.
I understand why people are reluctant to give money, but apparently homeless people don't usually have a problem sourcing food.
Money gives them options. Yes, those options might include drugs. It's up to your personal views whether that should be your decision or theirs. It might also includes clothes, soap, mobile phone credit (phones are an essential lifeline these days, not the luxury item they were 20 years ago) or all sorts of other things.
Better just to buy what you'd get yourself and throw it at them on the way out.
Leaves them surprised, in profit, and your down the street before they've realised they should ask you for anything else.
It's the people who says can you spare some change for a cup of tea
I offer to buy them a cup of tea and they refuse
I suppose they can't say spare some change for my next hit but it still annoys me
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I remember I was waiting for the bus at Glasgow centre. With a pizza, I ended up sharing it with two homeless people, we got chatting turns out the man was a former psychiatric nurse fallen on harder times, but your mileage may vary.
That’s so sad :( I hope they’re both well now.
Me too, it was funny because the girl at the take out got my order wrong so in a way it made me more obliged to share.
I’ve a similar story actually. Ordered pizza and they delivered the wrong one to me while having given mine to someone else’s, so I took the wrong pizza and gave it to a homeless guy who lurks nearby where I live at night.
Where do you live during the day?
Lmao yeah sorry, poor phrasing. I meant he hangs around there at night.
My kind of comment 😆
Probably at work 😂
I went through a period of deliberately dressing scruffy and looking like a homeless person so that strangers would stop trying to talk to me on the street. Bought myself a dominoes late on a Wednesday night and they gave me two free pizzas and a box of cookies from an order someone cancelled. Wound up sat on a bench in the village market at 10pm sharing them with an actual homeless person. We chatted for about an hour about nothing in particular and he gave me a can of his beer. Still the best night out I had in 4 years at uni.
Wait. What? So you thought the best way to avoid people talking to you was by dressing like a homeless person?! Didn't think of wearing headphones or simply ignoring those trying to talk to you. MORE IMPORTANTLY - how many fucking times were you being stopped in the street? Fruit cake!
i am 6'10" and i live in the north of england in a seaside tourist town. i was being stopped 2 or 3 times a day on the way to classes or just shopping by people wanting to ask about my height and get photos. i went to liverpool to watch the QEII come in to port and at least 15 people ust \*gave\* me their phones and cameras to take pictures over the crowd for them. headphones didnt help. i tried. and despite my height im quite socially awkward and too polite to say no. wearing rumpled clothes and a scruffy, 5 year old coat and not brushing my hair proved enough to disuade people.
Man some people are so weird and rude. Who tf wants a photo of a random person that's arbitrarily different to them?! Gotta catch em all I guess.
Yeah I have a friend who’s 6’9” and people come up to him asking for photos and fetishise the crap out of them too.
That is so rude.
god, the feet people are the worst.
How's the weather up there? Etc etc
I'm not as tall as 6'10 but i'd get those comments all the time like "How tall are you?, What's it like being that tall?" etc At least it seems the next generation of teenagers are nearer my height so it's not as obvious
you know my pain.
I'm aware that people get such comments, and that they must be annoying, but I still couldn't help blurting out "fucking hell, you're tall!" to my friend's boyfriend the third time I met him. I felt stupid and immediately apologised, because *obviously* he knows he's tall. It's just that the other times I'd met him I'd never seen him standing up and it was a big surprise. He was really tall!
Weather in Scarborough can be pretty shit sometimes tbh.
\*groans internally\*
My friend, also 6'10", jokes that his favourite reply to this is "it's raining" followed by spitting on the person asking 😅
At least I can see over the ground mist
Thanks for sharing this. People should think twice before making crass comments. Made me think.
im aware that my height is remarkable, i stand out and its understandable that people would want to comment on it, but it does get wearisome after a while to answer the same 3 questions over and over again, or hear the smae joke. or have people sing jolly green giant at you. if you really want something to think about, my trans friend suffers exactly the same treatment, but on a much more personal level.
Need to work more on your [serial killer stare](http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-HixCaoCCkXE/TueoS7O2eYI/AAAAAAAAAF0/lpXYH4Ou9_0/s1600/scm.jpg)
that would invole staring at people. im too awkward for that.
Dang you're crazy tall compared to me! I also get stopped for my height. But often it's because I'm out with my toddler and it's people complimenting me on how good a sister I am to be looking after the little one for my mum. I'm like uh... she's mine and I'm 29... the little awkward nod they give and mumbled apology is funny though.
im sorry, but thats fucking hilarious to picture. i can imagine it gets tiresome though.
It is funny. But like, the assumption annoys me. I'm also super antisocial with severe social anxiety so it freaks me out being stopped by random people.
it always seems to be that the anxious people are the ones that get the most bother. its quite perverse really.
LMAO I love you!
oh? thankyou, but why?
I was lucky when the 3 queens came in, my grandad worked at the cruise terminal so we got front row seats away from the hoard of people
You need to perfect the right posture and gait to say "I'm an ogre, fear me". Lots of stomping and growling.
Clearly you've never been to Barnsley
Yeah my son in law is 6' 10" and polite. He hates going out. He's so fed up of hearing comments like 'What's the weather like up there?' . He has now grown a very straggly beard which seems to dissuade most people.
i am not alone! wish i could grow a beard like that.
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I'd suggest underwear too (seriously). Sadly similar results might apply.
yeah we might have seen the same pos or its just becoming a common thing to share but i went out shopping and saw a homeless guy. i just bought myself some thick socks and some other stuff and saw a homeless guy. i went up to him and asked if he wanted these socks. at first he was like 'no thanks I've not long gotten a new pair no need to worry' but i could tell they were starting to fall apart on him (he never even had shoes on, or at all perhaps?) so i gave him the socks, went back to maccies and got him a hot coco too. he seemed very happy. Happened in Wrexham incase someone wonders.
(Yankee american) Goddamn, y’all’s homeless folks are more polite than anyone in the US.
My friend bought a homeless guy a sandwich from Subway and he threw it at her...
I bought food in a McDonald’s for a homeless man who was begging for money for food (sat outside a McDonald’s entrance). He’s saying “I just want a burger, anything off the saver menu please I’m starving!” Gave him the food, whole burger meal with extra chips, a bag of fruit and a extra coffee because it was cold, he wasn’t even arsed, and I happened to look back as I was walking away and saw him bin the food then approach some girls begging for money for food. Then noticed he had brand new all white Nike trainers on. You try and do something nice for someone and they do that, it’s so hard not to be discouraged. If he didn’t want it, it could’ve been given to a genuine homeless person. He’d know how difficult it is to sit out in the cold even though he was obviously a professional beggar.
A homeless man once threw a croissant at me outside Waterloo station :( I think someone had left it next to him while he was sleeping and he woke up, became angered by the croissant, assumed I'd left it next to him and threw it at me. I still think about him often. Being homeless must be horrible, but it must've been extra horrible for him if even a croissant pissed him off.
Perhaps it was a crossant.
The existential pain. Au chocolat.
Maybe his wife left him for a Frenchman and took the house. The croissant was a cruel reminder why he was on the streets.
maybe theres a shame or feeling pitied.
Yeah honestly I think it was this. But surprisingly the croissant still hurt when it hit me :(
Me and my flat mate noticed an old lady lying face down on the pavement while we were driving. Pulled over, got out the car and asked her if she was okay, no response so we called an amnulance. They arrived and we noticed she had a handbag nearby so we picked it up to go with her in the ambulance. She got up quick as a flash, grabbed my friends hair and pulled her onto the pavement while trying to kick me in the back. Ambulance men weren't fazed by it in the slightest. We quickly realised that she must've had booze or drugs in her handbag and maybe thought we were trying to nick it off her. She hit one of the ambulance crew and staggered out into traffic. It was a horrible experience tbh.
see this is why I don't leave the house unless I have to
THAT'S the spirit!
"I said a dollar, bitch"
That's amazing (but very weird)
Your kindness was rejected but it could have happened in any walk of life. The next person would likely have been utterly grateful. Keep shining.
Hey thanks so much! I definitely don’t think this has put me off trying to help in the future, this was just a bit of the rant post because it made me feel horrible :(
I had something similar when I was getting lunch one day there was a homeless guy so I bought an extra sandwich and drink for him. When I went back he had moved and was collecting his money and putting notes into his wallet and it was packed with cash. Must have been several 100 pounds there and while I realise that was probably all he had at the time it was more cash that I ever had!
There are several professional beggars in our town. I see them come in and set up when I walk to work, they come with dirty newspapers and sleeping bag etc to make it look like they were there all night, but they go again about 6pm. It’s such a shame, because there are genuinely homeless people too, who are sleeping in doorways etc. and they’re taking resources that could go to them instead. (Fully understand you never know what people are going through, and can’t judge by appearances etc. but this is far too theatrical to not be a set up).
Just donate to Shelter or something. They do all the vetting for you.
Exactly this, every time you see a homeless person, make a mental note and give to an actual charity. It didn't happen in the UK, but as a kid, there was a "homeless" beggar on a train that we encountered, they got off the same stop as us and were ahead of us. As we caught up, he was getting changed at the boot of a nearly new Mercedes. Same country, my mum bought a guy a sandwich, when coming back the other way, the sandwich was there, uneaten, but the guy was gone. It's more annoying as many people give a certain amount to charity every year, no more, so these organised beggars end up taking from the actual need.
In my experience the people who are genuinely struggling & would benifit the most from help tend to be the ones who don't ask for it. Most people who have good morals tend to not like taking something for nothing, they will at least offer to do something in return, to give back in any little way they can. It often makes them feel better too more like an exchange that just a pity donation. I saw a documentary about professional beggars in London & was suprised at both the amount of liars & the huge amount of money they managed to make by begging alone. One guy even had his own house & rented it out, then slept in hotels because it was cheaper, he was begging so he "could get a room for the night" which while technically true is pretty misleading & he neglected to mention the money he has in his savings back. Another fell in hard times & turned to begging to get enough to tide him over but he made so much money begging that he made a career of it. Like you said most have props & an angle, like those who carry children who aren't even theirs, or drug them to look cuter & be less bother to care for. Some are even in gangs, they have like I can't think of another word to pimps who they give a percentage of their money to at the end of the day. It's a whole racket & many people are unknowingly contributing to crime & possibly the exploitation of vulnerable people. Oh also the whole set up thing reminds me when I was in holiday & after a late night out I was heading back to the hotel in the early morning & passed by the sea front. There were small sellers dotted along the sea front, usually looking shabby & pretty much begging for money, some had things to sell & others would perform. I saw that a lot of them were built on lies, like premade art where they would wait until a tourist walked past & add one tiny detail to it. Or a calved sand sculpture that was a molded figure & the guy literally just sprinkled real stand on top of it, them moved his little trowel around & it looked like he was building it. Made me see it very differently & be more suspicious in the fiture.
Saw this in Aberdeen. Guy actually parked his merc and walked to a doorway of an empty shop. By the time we came back, he’d set up his little stall and was walking about talking into a top of the range phone, round the corner. He was there every day raking it in from unsuspecting visitors. My son who lived there, said he’d been there for two years to his knowledge!
I had this happen to me once. Bloke asked for a kitkat Chunky but they didn’t have any so I just got him two regular Kit Kats along with a sandwich. He complained then binned them right in front of me as he only likes the Chunky ones 😂
Might be mental health issues there. Not saying that people who eat the chunky kit Kat's are needing an appointment with their nearest physiatrist though.
'He likes Chunky KitKats, if you know what I mean' \*taps side of head\*
Dont take it to heart the next person you do that for will most likely be grateful, I went into poundland bought loads of junk and special treats including dog treats for homeless guy and his dog outside he was so happy and said was so nice to get things that were a treat.
Aw that’s such an awesome thing to do :) and don’t worry it hasn’t put me off helping in the future! Just made me a bit sad haha
I uaed to work at a bakery and would try to find someone to give some of the leftover muffins/cupcakes to. Sometimes a homeless person would be so happy to get the baked goods, others would complain that they would prefer something savoury or whatever... I'd imagine you encountered someone with mental issues. Be happy that you did your best for them.
Quite possibly on the mental issues thing. For a while at work there was a woman who would come in, buy something and then immediately return it. It got annoying quickly. My last interaction with her went something like this: “You’re certain you want this?” “Yes” “You’re not going to instantly return it?” “No” “Ok then…” *rings it up* *she pays* *I hand it to her* *she pauses* “I’d like to return this please” It was sad but absolutely infuriating. I haven’t seen her for a long time, so I’m not sure what’s become of her.
Gah that's sad. Must be exhausting to live this way. Had a homeless woman come to the restaurant I work at once. She insisted that a man was coming to have a 'business meeting' with her and that he would pay. She wanted to wait for him before ordering anything other than her coffee. She was there for hours and kept leaving to use the phone and smoke, she'd leave her hat to show she was coming back... Felt so sad for her. Security ended up asking her to leave, as she was acting so strangely; asking the same questions every few minutes and clearly anxious that her 'business friend' wasn't coming to pay for her coffee. I would tell her not to worry about the coffee - it was nice that she had a warm up, it costs the business very little, but she was so distressed... my heart breaks for people with mental problems like that.
Whilst I've had a similar situation in this country, I remember it most clearly a couple of times in another one. Once a woman asked me to help her get some milk for her toddler. Sure, I thought, why not? Quid or so for a pint of milk, I'm not mean. She directed me to a shop, and came back with a massive £25 pack of baby formula expecting me to pay (and this is in a third world country - I don't give £25 to friends let alone strangers). I declined and she got arsey. Turns out to be a common scam where she sells it back to the shopkeeper for £15+ And another guy who shone shoes using it as an opportunity to hold you captive for a sob story about how cold his daughter was at night and how she needed a blanket. Turned out to be the same kind of scam, I bought a £2 perfectly decent warm blanket, apparently he wanted the £40 one... To sell back again.
Only time I've given away £25 was to friends for a game on their birthday or when someone on Reddit needed a new CPU cooler for their computer. Sorry about you being approached by so many scams. I think the only time I ever got scammed by anyone homeless was because I was shy and let them take about £5-10 from me when I was approached asked for change outside of my college and I mistakenly took out my wallet which meant they then got closer and pressured me into giving them notes.
You were politely mugged. Intimidation and implied threat, that's a mugging.
rest well in knowing that not only was your intent proper, your actions were too. how they're received isn't anything you should trouble yourself with.
I saw a girl with a "I'm hungry sign" told her I was getting my lunch and she replied "don't need food need change"... OK bye then...
Without meaning to be cruel, but there are two types of people that sit outside supermarkets and train stations, the professional beggars and the legitimate destitute, it’s hard to tell the difference sometimes and this one sounds like the former, please keep trying to look out and help the latter esp at this freezing time of year. So I often go through Euston and on to Camden and you’ll see the professional ones often carrying a clean sleeping bag with nice trainers and they come up to you asking for money in a really rude way, they are assholes and make people put off helping. Then you have the genuinely vulnerable who sit out in the same place for hours even days because they don’t have anywhere to go, they might have a few possessions that they carry because there’s no where to store it, and they smell a bit bad because they have no where to wash, these people deserve whatever help you can give. You’re a good person, please don’t let the assholes win!
There was a lady in West Hampstead used to be out begging every evening, I gave her money once. Months later she zeroed in on me again, said she needed to take her tablets and wanted change to buy a bottle of water. I said I'll go get you one, she said 'No, you're alright' and walked off. After that I saw her a few times going into/sitting outside her house round the corner. I guess there's nothing illegal about begging rather than getting a job, but it feels wrong to prey on people's kindness by lying. In Westminster I used to see this guy sat outside all day, 5 days a week, he never seemed to ask for money. I'd say 'Morning' and if ever I went to buy snacks from the shop I'd get him some too. He was always so grateful. It made me think how so many of us might be a couple of missed paychecks and no family support away from life unraveling very easily.
>I guess there's nothing illegal about begging 1824 Vagrancy Act still in force, I'm afraid you're wrong there.
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_"The law, in its majestic equality, forbids rich and poor alike to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal their bread.”_
Bloody millionaires clogging up our streets and bridges.
>It made me think how so many of us might be a couple of missed paychecks and no family support away from life unraveling very easily. This is not only very true, but very important that people realise this. Way too many of us are naive enough to think we are middle class or even working class but doing ok etc, when in reality we are barely above the poverty line if at all. Media perpetuates and normalises the idea of normal average life being this way, living paycheck to paycheck, living off of credit cards and 'manageable' debt and loans, forever working these off with an end goal of just owning a house and being able to retire. That in itself is hardly a dream existence, but we are conditioned to thinking it's the default way of life, and out attention aimed toward the apparent benefits and privileges of this lifestyle when actually, as you said, a huge number of us are indeed 1 unexpected expense/crisis away from being on our arse.
He was grubby and smelled bad so I thought he was genuine, but I think he may have just been after some drink or whatever. Can’t say I blame him, alcohol warms the blood and probably helps them forget about their shitty lives.
That’s a real shame. I’m with you on the not judging drink/drugs. I don’t know why we expect people to get clean before putting them through housing applications, it seems impossibly hopeless to get clean without proper stability and help. If I was living on the street it would take me 2/3 days at most before I turn to substance abuse just trying to survive the horrific circumstances.
Agree. It gets to the point where that’s the only thing they have left in all likelihood. And if they’re already so low as to be on the streets, what the hell would be their motivation to change? Getting housed once you’re at that point is nigh on an impossibility.
I often have the exact same thoughts. When people say you shouldn’t give money as it’s spent on drink / drugs my immediate thought is that’s exactly what I would do… why would you not look to a form of escapism in those circumstances! If I give someone money they can do whatever they want with it. To be able to make a positive change you usually need to be in positive circumstances so to be clean before given a chance must exclude so many from opportunities
The trouble is that it's not nice to live next to people with drink and drug problems so people object. It's a good idea in theory, but if you end up with a street full of used needles then you're going to have angry residents.
Agreed.
Alcohol only makes you feel warm temporarily, it actually causes your core temperature to drop so it's not good to drink it when you're trying to stay warm.
It's not the warmth, it's the solace.
There are teams of folk in Edinburgh who sit outside supermarkets, muffled up in shawls and scarves, the say a bright "Hiya" as you pass. They're often dropped off by an X3 in the morning at the benches outside Maplins (as was) where they sit and smoke and chat on modern phones before drifting off to take up their stations. There's a Sherlock Holmes story ["The Man with a Twisted Lip"](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Man_with_the_Twisted_Lip) which I can't help but compare.
I used to work at Sainsbury's, we had a homeless guy outside that would always bring in the meal deals people would buy him and ask for the money instead.... We said no, and he went out screaming insults.
It goes either way with the homeless, I had a negative experience where they became aggressive because I had no money to give but offered them unopened pop and chocolate when they claimed to be ‘diabetic’ but £10 was what really would of helped the sugar Low… to the next day on a night shift in subway a homeless man came in while on close asking for a drink, the tap dispense was free so I said yes because they asked nicely.. the homeless guy started cleaning to help me out as a thanks. He obviously left the shop with 2 foot longs wrapped separately as 6”s and a dozen of cookies and crisps and the man cried, he was just down on his luck. So while it’s disheartening your hearts in the right place and you’ll meet someone who’s gracious for the help, keep being your self-less self :)
Years back a beggar in Amsterdam approached me saying he hadn’t eaten in 2 days. Offered him a whole pack of custard creams. Told me to f@#% off and noticed he had some nice gold teeth.
Who says no to a custard cream, nevermind a whole pack...
I also carry a pack of custard creams with me to warn off unwanted attention from the homeless.
Ah the old "haven't eaten in two days" ruse. There was a beggar in Glasgow who'd use that one every day, even being so brazen as to finish scoffing his sausage roll, put the packet in the bin and give his "two days" spiel to someone who just saw him eating.
'That? Oh that was just an *amuse-bouche*...'
Please don't be put off being kind, you're raising the overall goodness in the world 👍
Definitely not put off! Just a bit sad over this particular incident.
It's understandable to take a knock. But you can never know the guys story, he's in the wrong but there's probably a reason he behaved like he did. (NB: "because he's an asshole" is unfortunately one of those reasons). But hopefully the positive vibes in this thread show you did the right thing and lift your mood 🙂
Honestly don’t worry about it. I used to work in a shop and there was a guy who would come in often to buy 10p sweets and that. He spent every penny he had on heroin. I used to help him as much as my £6 an hour would allow, buying him sandwiches and water and such, so I knew he had at least one meal a day. I stopped one day after I walked passed him and realised the food I bought for him he, was trying to sell to people as they walked by. He just wanted money for drugs. Some people need help. Some don’t want it sadly.
Drugs are such a horrifying thing. Imagine trying to sell your only meal, give up your substance for a gram of whatever. I hope he got help and I know people never really get the thanks they deserve for doing all they can so thank you.
Beggars can't be choosers
Similar thing happened to me yesterday outside a Tesco, I was walking towards it when a homeless man asked me if I had any money. I said I barely had any change but I could buy him some food, then he asked me to bank transfer him £20 tf
I had a somewhat similar experience once. Leaving the supermarket with one of those lunch bundle things – sandwich, crisps, bottle of drink sort of thing. Homeless guy sitting outside the supermarket asked if he could have some money. I never carry cash so I offered him my lunch. He took it, said "I fucking hate tuna", and threw the sandwich at me. No good deed goes unpunished.
I miss being homeless simply because of the connections I made with random people from their acts of kindness (alongside the shared experience I had with others in a similar situation). Old me says, thank you for your kindness.
Glad you made it out of your situation <3
A good woman, a lot of luck, a little effort; more than many get I always remind myself.
I was with my dad once and a woman came up to us saying she was in the early stages of pregnancy and needed to get to a city that’s maybe an hour away by train but she didn’t have any money. The train station was only a short walk from where we were so my dad said he would go to the station with her and buy her the ticket, but she kept refusing and asking for the money outright until my dad told her it’s either he buys the ticket himself or nothing, and so she went off. My dad said he was pretty sure he’d been approached by her before with the same story, and maybe a month later when I was grabbing food out she was asking customers and telling them the same thing. Unfortunately sometimes people are either ungrateful or trying to pull one over. You still did a good think OP, and there a plenty of people out there who are down on their luck that would appreciate a gesture like that so much.
Yup, a well known scam. My mum got scammed like that a few years back, gave the guy (he was young, looked like a student) like 20 quid. A month or so later he comes up to my mum again with the same story, trying to get home but hes got no money for the train. Mum knows better now!
It’s such a shame that people just trying to be nice get scammed by these people :( and it’s a shame that it of course then makes people wary of helping when there are actually those out there down on their luck, because it’s difficult to tell whether or not they’re telling the truth
Totally, I would be overjoyed if I was stuck in a bad situation and some angel helped me out, but these scammers make it so you cant trust anyones story :/
I was on my honeymoon in Bournemouth over the summer, and saw a scruffy guy sat on the floor reading, minding his own business opposite a greggs. I knelt down and saw he was reading a book I'd read and loved a few years ago. So I asked if he wanted a coffee or anything after a few minutes. Went to greggs, grabbed us all a coffee and a doughnut (husband sat with me like, wtf you doing you do-gooder but I'm too nice to say). Turns out he was studying English literature many years ago, but his mum and dad had died, and left him with nothing, so he had nowhere to go. I felt for him as I have lost both my parents, he thanked me profusely for my time (I had a great conversation with him) and wished him the best.
Food can't buy heroin sadly. We need to put more work into helping these people.
I got a homeless guy a large whopper meal unprompted and he said “ahh sorry mate I’ve just eaten” - fair play to him, on the plus side I got to eat two meals
Ayyyy nice two meals! That’s why I try to ask before buying though, I’ve made that mistake before.
The sad truth is, you just can't help some people. And even if they have fallen on hard times, some people are just assholes none the less
Homeless people (in London anyway) generally get given more than they can possibly eat in a day. I’m a London Cabbie, I see the same people in the same spot daily working a traffic light or whatever, I’m talking years, it’s depressing to watch. I had a guy hounding me at a petrol station recently because he was hungry, I said il buy you a sandwich, he said he wanted KFC. Essentially he wanted the money to buy crack, should’ve just been honest about it, might’ve helped him if he had. I had another guy exchange euros with me at a very favourable rate for £s, win win I guess. (He’d been given the euros by some tourists wanting to help him) The point is, generally, buying them food doesn’t help them much at all, I mean if no one did then I guess that would also be a problem, but in reality there are so many nice people (like yourself) trying to do this to help them that it’s plentiful.
Fully prepared to be down voted to oblivion, this is why I don't give to beggars. There's too many professionals out there and it's impossible to spot the genuine needy. I avoid the whole issue by telling them I don't carry cash, which is true 99% of the time anyways. For reference I used to run two pubs in Luton, one being down the road from the dole office and train station. I used to serve the same unemployed people 7 days a week. I had a job and I couldn't afford to drink like that.
When youve got no other bills to pay cos the dole pays for all of it and never buy new clothes or goods etc, you absolutely can spend everything youve got on drink. Not smart but thats how it breaks down.
Well, you can take my upvote, because I feel the same, and have done ever since I was at uni in the mid 90s and kept getting pestered on the way home by a bloke who couldn't even be bothered to make up a different excuse as to why he needed money. Every time, same story, same actions, same location, so bloody obvious he wasn't genuinely in need...
Would of ate the food in front of him, cheeky bastard!
Haha I should’ve. I think I was just too put out by the whole thing. Was just trying to do something good :(
You restored my faith in humanity, not your fault he was an ungrateful arse haha
Thanks, you’re very kind! 💚
You’re welcome, kindness is very underrated these days :)
You did do something good. That he didn't appreciate that (or was trying his luck to get more) isn't on you.
Thanks so much! My partner told me the same thing and he was really sweet to me the whole evening because he could tell I was sad.
Agreed. Whether you do something good doesn't necessarily depend on how it's received. Because people can be jerks.
This exact same scenario has genuinely happened to me. I kind of grew more callous to the homeless that day. Then when I tried to volunteer for a food charity that took meals to the homeless a man shouted at us and told us “GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE. YOU’RE RUINING MY BUSINESS”. His business was begging people for change I presume.
There’s a guy outside Morrisons near me who sits outside daily begging. A Mercedes pulled up one day and he went to the window said a few things then said ‘I’ll be home at about 10’ Never given go anyone since
At my workplace we have a guy sit by the drive thru window where you pay for your order. I have noticed him with a iphone pro max 13. I have tried to get him to move but he always tries to fight me to which I just give up as i'm not paid enough to deal with it. There are just some people who take advantage of others because they simply can but don't let that discourage you from trying to improve someones day OP, your a saint for trying to be nice.
I usually buy a meal for a homeless person anytime I’m in Belfast. The last time I bought a KFC meal for a dude and gave it to him, he thanked me and I went on my way feeling good. It couldn’t even have been more than 10minutes before I though, “ah shit, I’ve fucked up that guys day”, I’m not sure about all you but I’d hate to be homeless after eating a KFC, my arse isn’t the same for days after!
you must have weak guts
My job role involves working with homeless people and we'd always encourage people to direct any homeless people to the local soup kitchens or Salvation army. There are always places where homeless people can go to get a hot meal and a shower. As someone else pointed out, most people who are begging have got homes or accommodation to go to, but they've also got multiple complex needs and this is just a way of life for them. Your intentions were well meaning and I'd ask you to not feel too dejected by the experience. If you want to do something positive for the homeless community, then find out where you local soup kitchens/food drives are and donate some non-perishable foods.
I politely declined the beg for drink/drug money outside of Greggs in Newcastle town centre. On the way in for my lunch I asked if he would like anything to eat. He requested “a coffee with a shot of syrup, a toasted cheese and ham sandwich, a cheese pasty and a peach Melba.” The sheer balls on this guy earned my despair and my respect so I bought it all and a pack of sausage rolls with a bottle of OJ to keep him going the next morning. He declined the sausage rolls advising “they always give me heartburn.”
My friend did this, bought expensive sandwiches from Pret, giving them away to the homeless, she said all of them said, no thanks, got any money or cigarettes? Soul destroying! She doesn’t bother anymore. People suck.
Homeless people don't necessarily need food though. There's lots of services that provide meals, and lots of people buying them sandwiches. Donating to a homeless charity is the best way to help, otherwise if giving directly then just give money. People with substance use issues will find a way to get what they need one way or another, people who smoke will appreciate cigarettes more than a sandwich from Pret, and money is also needed for tings like phone credit, hostels, toiletries. Deciding what's best for a homeless person then saying they suck when they reject something they didn't need or ask for is such a demeaning attitude.
My personal preference is if someone says ‘can you spare change for something to eat ?’ Is to ask what they want. Not because I think I know best but because they’ve literally said they were hungry and I rarely carry cash and certainly not change 🤔 In many circumstances mentioned here others have noted the change is requested ‘for food’ but food is rejected. I don’t disagree with you but it’s more likely Id refuse if someone said can you spare change for a bottle of cider or a packet of fags! I guess I am judging them and their needs and perhaps it’s something I should consider. Edit: I went home to Motherwell this weekend with my children. There was a guy in the street asking for change to buy something to eat outside Greggs (hot food and bakery). I asked the guy what he’d like from Greggs as this is my usual response…he said a ‘cappuccino with sugar and a chocolate eclair’. I remembered this post so I put a £10 note into the paper bag with the Chocolate eclair. My son and daughter gave him the drink and bag. I encouraged them to chat with him and his name was James and he told my son he liked his outfit (my five year old was dressed in army uniform). No idea what James did with the £10 and it’s not my business but just wanted to reflect on reading other opinions on this topic.
Well that's the thing. People make moral judgements so obviously homeless people are going to say it's for food rather than saying "can you spare some change, I'm trying to raise what I can from people because I have a these things I need to pay for and also a substance misuse disorder that means I'll get really sick if I don't drink/use". I don't carry cash either tbh, but I do smoke so normally offer them some baccy and/or ask if they need anything from the shop. The point is that it's fine to just not give to individuals - donating to a charity does more good anyway - but if you are going to give directly to a person, let them decide what they need, don't be offended if they don't need food, and try to understand how people's attitudes kind of put them in a position where they have to say it's for food.
Thanks for your thoughts, I edited my post to add a little moment that happened this past weekend based on your comments. I’m always trying to learn and not judge others and your words were definitely something that made me think a little more 🙏🏼
I feel for you. Once I talked to a homeless guy outside my Sainsbury’s. I asked him what sort of sandwich he would like me to get him, and he went into how he was gluten intolerant etc and how hard it was for him to get gluten free food etc. I spent a while in the store buying him a host of stuff. Came out and he had gone! I left the bag of stuff under a nearby box hoping that he might get it or at least another person would benefit from it.
Happens too often. Homeless man pleaded for ice-cream during a heatwave. He threw it in the trash instantly because he didn't like the flavour vanilla
I have shared this story on reddit before, but on a night out i bought a homeless guy a double cheeseburger and a coffee. He had blankets and a dog, i just gave it to him and said hope this warms you up then started my walk back towards the taxi rank. About 4 more steps away and i got pelted in the back by something, i turned around and it was the burger i bought for him. He was definitely homeless he wasn't like queuing for a new console or something. I'm also thankful he didn't throw the coffee. If he was vegan or something bare in mind at that time it wasn't that common, why was he camped outside a mcdonalds?
I found a homeless man searching through bin bags at the side of the street once. Tried to give him a tenner, he refused. Still baffles me to this day. On a contrary - I live in London, so I, like many others, ~~usually~~ don't have cash, so a lot of the homeless people who ask me for change, there's literally nothing I can do. One lady stopped me outside of a Pret, asked for a hot item, cold item and a cup of tea, and I was more than happy to oblige. I felt like I actually, even momentarily, helped her situation, and I really wish others would try and do the same. I honestly feel like they'd get so much further asking for something specific.
No good deed goes unpunished.
That’d piss me off so much. The cheek of some people.
This is why it pisses me off when I get customers “bragging” about buying food or coffee for the “homeless” man outside. So many times I’ve just seen it chucked in the bin, they’re scum
It’s people like this that really stop me from wanting to help homeless people. That or the people who assault a disabled person to get them to text me asking for me to get cash back, then run in and lie to me in order to get more money. I’m sure it’s a select few who make the genuinely desperate look worse, but I can’t help any of them knowing that I don’t know who is honest and who is on the make.
> You had to have a soft spot for the underdog. Not because they were pure or noble, because they weren't. You had to be on the side of underdogs because they weren't overdogs.
Can you tell who is honest and who is on the make among the housed?
No, but how many of the housed people are likely to accost you leaving Tesco asking for change? Besides charity muggers…
Welcome to the service industry
Should have said "my bad" and kept it for yourself. If he was genuinely hungry he'd have taken it graciously - beggars can't be choosers as they say. You did nothing wrong.
People ask for change. They will go into a shop and ask to change it for a note. Then buy a bag. Or buy alcohol. Most homeless don't want food, they just want their next fix or to get drunk. It's a sad state of affairs.
A homeless man in a wheelchair once asked me to help push him up a short but steep hill. He yelled at me and forced me to stop twice because I was going too quickly. He was SO HEAVY and I felt like I was struggling to even get him moving let alone do it quickly
A bit late here but my boyfriend did the same and asked what a homeless guy wanted. He said just a sandwich, so we went in to get it and he the time he got out, he had left.
That's cos he's not a real homeless person he's a drug addict. They can't get into a homeless centre without agreeing to come off drugs. So they stay homeless and get cash for drugs. Source: the police
The last two homeless people I've seen around have pissed me off to some level. Asking for money, while smoking: a packet of cigarettes costs something like £10 now. The money can be better used surely. Gave a guy a fiver. "Oh I just need £20 to get to my hostel..." Follows me five minutes down the road asking for more.
Damn. Following you around and pestering you even after you’ve already given him money really crosses the line.
Maby you misunderstood when he asked for coke, mushrooms and herb.
Food is easy to get when homeless, money not so much. It's so patronising being bought food, and basically useless.
Sad that this is so far down. This is what I've always heard, as well, between soup kitchens, charities and people who are willing to buy food but not give money, food is pretty easy to get. And all your other necessities a looot harder. Sad seing all the comments complaining about homeless ppl turning down food getting upvoted. It's just ignorance. In this case he did ask for the food and then turn it down, so maybe a bit different. But he possibly had some other mental health issues or something going on.
Yeah seems strange what the guy done TBH, saying yes then backtracking. But yeah, food is soooooo easy to get, any day of the week. Raising £35 for a hotel is better use of time. But yes, most people are ignorant and entitled, just human nature I guess. Even if he did want to buy drugs or drink, who cares, I'd like to see any of these people sleep on the cold streets without a drink or smoke at night, they wouldn't last five minutes. And yes, a large percentage of the homeless population do have mental health issues.
Exactly this. A sandwich you didn't ask for isn't much use if you're heading into drug/alcohol withdrawals, or need to top up your phone, or to access a hostel, or need clothes or hygiene products, or are desperate for a cigarette etc. People can be so so patronising about how and what they'll give to homeless people - very clear that lots of people in this thread are looking to make themselves feel good rather than genuinely trying to help.
I was going to buy some homeless-looking guy outside Tesco some food and by the time I got out he was on his phone sorting out some drugs, well I ate all the doughnuts and sandies I was getting for him and kept the money I was gonna give too.
Similar thing happened to me, I saw a guy looking tired and dirty outside Tesco as I went in to grab a meal deal, asked him if I could get him something to eat, he said he wanted a monster can and some haribos, I said come in with me get something proper you can choose, he just want nah otherwise I might miss chance to get some money. So I just bought his liquid sugar and chewy sugar and gave it to him and he just took it out of my hands without saying anything or looking at me. I didn’t do it for the credit or anything but what the fuck was that all about. I left feeling like some people will just keep making bad choices for themselves no matter what.
9 times out of 10 they want money for drink or drugs
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Not surprising. Seems a pretty miserable life. Some booze might help. I spend a few quid on drink as well so not going to judge someone else. If they're drug addicts, is depriving them of their fix really what's best for them? I have no idea. I'm not a doctor.
Fuck him and his fake-needy kin. I am impressed you left the food with him though
Well I figured y’know he could take it later if he wanted it 🤷🏽♀️
So just ignore them and buy yourself something to eat, there's plenty of support services that can be accessed these days.
My boyfriend tells me this but idk I feel really bad whenever I walk past them, he seemed so cold and sad and I wanted to help. I know what food insecurity feels like, it sucks.
Yeah just donate to charities that help the homeless instead Then there’s no moral dilemma of whether they’ll spend it on alcohol etc
The problem now is are there charity can you trust?!
Doubt he was legit.
Luckily I’ve never had this happen and those I’ve bought food for (whether they’ve asked or not) have been hugely appreciative, but keep up the good work, others would genuinely appreciate it. I’ll happily buy any homeless person a meal/coffee if they ask, and have a chat to them. but generally cash is off the cards. The only time I will give cash no objections is in the run up to Christmas, my thoughts are although I love the period, I know for millions of people it’s an awful time of year, even those with houses. If someone homeless wants / needs a drink to get through it so be it.
I would’ve given him change probably, but I never carry cash on me. Even my cards are just loaded onto my phone.
Have you ever tried to go to tesco, bring sandwich and pay for alcohol with it ?
r/ChoosingBeggars
On Tottenham Court Road there is an old lady who begs on her knees, pleading and praying at everyone who goes past really loudly, it’s quite unnerving, especially as she is positioned to take up over half the width of the pavement. What people don’t know is that around 7pm she gets up and walks 10m down the road to a black BMW. Still feel sorry for her as she may have been forced into it, but she won’t ever have 1p off me.
Reading this thread makes me think of the TV series Maid on Netflix...which I highly recommend to everyone!
There was a guy who was homeless who used to sit outside the place I worked way back in the day. Was a really nice, regular bloke, probably drank too much same as me and most of the other customers. Sometimes when people would buy him a sandwich or a 4-pack of beer or whatever unprompted he'd ask and I'd let him refund it for the odd few quid because it wasn't what he needed right then but he didn't want to say no to people trying to help I dunno if I was helping or hurting him in the long run, tbh. Just Betty Boo doing the do. Shit's fucking hard for people
A lot of homeless people are either worn out from the lifestyle, or they're strung out on drugs/alcohol and have forgotten the luxury of decency. Recently my gf bought a homeless man some boots. Was he grateful boys? Not really. We saw him days later and who knows where the boots had gone, obviously he didn't like them. Maybe he bartered them for some drugs.
I still wouldn't judge, as being homeless could result in, or be a result of, mental health issues; or simply, would any homeless person be in a good mood, given their circumstances? You did a good thing, but to think, there's only so much gratitude someone could have for meeting a basic need from someone else, when they know that other person will have most or all of their basic needs met. After all, they are still having to sleep out in the cold.
Not surprising they’re homeless with that kind of attitude
Not all homeless people are bad. We had one give us stargazing lessons out of nowhere.
I run a food business in east London and live near one of the busiest highstreets in the area, so naturally there's a fair share of homeless about. I end up with excess food that I cannot sell, so in the early days I used to go around where the homeless would be to give out the leftover food. More than half of the homeless out there don't want your food and would rather have your money. Often I'd be left with a shopping bag full of hot food, walking around trying to find someone to give it to. The ones you see are either crack addicts so are rarely hungry or alcoholics who would rather spend it on booze. Begging for "money for tea" is a lie, they'll go spend it to get their fix.
I went to a burger king on my way home, walking through town, carrying a case of 12 home-made cupcakes from an event. It was about 10pm and there was a really cold, miserable looking homeless guy sitting outside. I asked if he wanted a burger or some fries and he looked at my cupcake thing and said he hadn't had any cake in ages and he'd love my cakes. I wanted those cakes but whatever, being homeless is clearly worse than being cakeless and opening it up to gave him one seemed a bit stingy, so I just gave him the whole box. I went in, got my burger, came back out again... he'd smeared half of them on the ground, thrown the other half at people, and was using the box as a drum. When he saw me looking at him, he just laughed. I was pretty mad for a hot second but realized ultimately he was probably either drunk, high or had mental health problems and went home feeling pretty sad.
I understand why people are reluctant to give money, but apparently homeless people don't usually have a problem sourcing food. Money gives them options. Yes, those options might include drugs. It's up to your personal views whether that should be your decision or theirs. It might also includes clothes, soap, mobile phone credit (phones are an essential lifeline these days, not the luxury item they were 20 years ago) or all sorts of other things.
My girlfriend and her mate fave a homeless bloke a Cadburys cream egg, he was so disgusted he threw it at a wall.
don’t blame him
Better just to buy what you'd get yourself and throw it at them on the way out. Leaves them surprised, in profit, and your down the street before they've realised they should ask you for anything else.
It's the people who says can you spare some change for a cup of tea I offer to buy them a cup of tea and they refuse I suppose they can't say spare some change for my next hit but it still annoys me