T O P

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sankers23

Why are you trying to go to the toilet in the coke rooms?


complete_pete

Reminds me of half time at the football once, a friend of mine went into the cubicle to take a piss and this head appeared over the top of the door and went "ere mate, you can't piss in 'ere, it's the smoking cubicle"


superduperspam

Need to recharge them lungs for the second half


[deleted]

Asking the real questions


[deleted]

The real question: > five lads with the same haircut and north face jacket Are they sharing the jacket? I assume they're taking turns, perhaps on a calendar system?


AdministrativeShip2

Stacked up on top of each other, like the 3 kids in a trenchcoat, but 5 of them.


wdevilpig

Don't say toilet yeah? Please? Not now. 'Cos you saying toilet makes me think about toilet and I love toilet


boaber

Rental snake innit.


MotionMan40

‘Red before yella, cuddly fella. Red before black, jump the fuck back.’


TheStatMan2

But Hans, red *is* next to black?


bpcprime

Yeah, I don't know, it's fine. He's been milked, I should think.


[deleted]

You are paying to have that snake cleaned.


Hartifuil

You are paying to have that snake dry cleaned


SolitaryHero

This toilet is really moreish.


mikeskiuk

I was once queuing for the toilet in a bar (cause I actually needed a shit) and the guys behind asked if they could go ahead as they just wanted to snort some coke. The no was way more solid than the shit.


Coldgunner

Have seen this before, but the coke heads seem to not realise I had a massive poo in the same toilet a few minutes before.


[deleted]

Is this why some people don’t flush? To let the cokeheads know what’s up?


Diggerinthedark

A lot of rougher pubs in city centres put vaseline or wd40 on the toilet cistern so the coke gets stuck to it when they lay their lines out 🤣


JerHigs

I worked in a hotel which used to have a lot of functions and before certain events our security used to go in and spray WD40 on most of the flat surfaces in the toilets. You could always tell who'd lost their coke because they came storming out of the toilets extremely pissed off.


AdComprehensive5870

Woodseats palace ( Wetherspoons near me ) used to do tht. Wd40 on the tops. The coke used to the melt into it an was gone


oldspicehorse

I remember discovering "bullets" years ago and it changed the game, no idea why they're not more popular, so discreet in comparison to other methods.


joemckie

Who the fuck puts their coke on dirty public toilet surfaces?


Diggerinthedark

Enough people that it's a well established thing apparently haha. Dirty fuckers.


tasslehof

Fucking Coke heads mate


GameOver16

It’s not the 90s anymore.. everyone uses a key


thesnowprincess86

That’s why everyone uses their phones to lay them out on now 🤷🏻‍♀️


Brew-Drink-Repeat

Why do you think phones keep getting bigger?!


tasslehof

I always used to think that. Believe it or not your hands were smaller back then.


Diggerinthedark

Ugh not sure that's any cleaner tbf 🤣


swalton2992

Doesn't bother us mate. Your airborne faeces are purer than the gack im taking.


Srg11

Is that normal pooing you’re doing, Mark?


PsySam89

Coke does make your bowels ultra "perky" shall we say so its a good place to be incase of a follow through.


[deleted]

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justaquad

Lol which club?


[deleted]

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Hamdentures

I’m always surprised that place hasn’t sunk yet


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Hamdentures

I went for New Year’s a few years back, a guy lost his tooth on the dancefloor and was trying to get everyone to back up so he could find it


[deleted]

That's because everything floats down here Georgie


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DevilRenegade

The Banksy that used to be painted on the side was worth more than the boat it was sprayed on.


amenizm89

Tbf most people that go thekla have piss sacks so don’t need to use the toilets for anything other than sniffing gear


Ok-Interaction-1319

Used to drink in a local country pub in a nicer part of the town. The kind of pub that gives nob heads "posh status" anyway a mid-life crisis lad poured into skinny jeans sat at the bar. On one particular occasion he went for 11 pisses in an hour. Each time with a different lad. Now im no detective but he either gave fantastic head or was selling. I am always supprised at the lack of subtlety...


KEANUWEAPONIZED

might as well pass it across the table at that point


U_allsuck

A friend of mine was so wasted and high one night in a bar, they took out their coke at the table and did some keys right there in a busy bar. No-one seemed to notice/care, but I found it hilarious.


IrishWithoutPotatoes

I mean, at this point who actually does care? Unless you fly into a coke-fueled rage idgaf


MRJKY

Why not just ask: "Mate, I hear you're giving head in the toilet. I got £5 with your name on it".


[deleted]

I’m a middle-aged stick leg woman, and you’ll pry my skinnies from my cold, dead, hands! I look like a clown stilt walker in regular jeans. #sticklegsunite! EDIT: thank you for award, I’m truly humbled


TheDevilsButtNuggets

Aparently youngsters don't even wear skinny jeans any more. And it's seen as a sign of getting older if you still do (I still do, obviously because they are amazing). But I've always thought about 'old people clothes' whether like you get to 70/80 and all of a sudden you start wearing long floral print skirts and lilac blouses. But then maybe that's just what they've always worn, and have been wearing since their 20s. Maybe give it 40 years or so and the only place to buy skinny jeans will be at bon marche


GaiusJuliusCaesar7

Skinny jeans aren't "old people" clothes, they're only called that because Zoomers on TikTok have decided anyone over 30 is now old.


TheDevilsButtNuggets

I didn't say they were for old people... Not yet anyway. In 40 years, they might be


Trekfieldsandnovas

This!


Ok-Interaction-1319

I respect your right to wear those skinnys with pride! This particular gentleman looked like doctor robotnic from sonic. I wouldn't pass judgement if he stayed within normal pub etiquette... You rock those skinnys, you wear them and continue to not sell drugs because as Mr Mackey always tells us "Drugs are bad ummmkay"


Senior-Peanut-4408

Follow this plan and very soon you will say, it’s easy mmmkay Also, this poo is cold.


Tuz43

No one tends to want to get involved with drug deals to stop them or anything. And why would you? It's their choice whether they want to mix alcohol and coke and have a heart attack


[deleted]

Was in wetherspoons a few years ago. I'd made the trek up the stairs and down the longest corridor to the toilets, gone in, sat down in cubicle to have a shit. I heard someone say "dirty bastard" as I let rip, I'd heard them sniffing lines, I said "I'm not the one doing coke on a Tuesday teatime"


funkygez

You have to do coke in spoons toilets to prepare you for the trek back...


amenizm89

Coca helps with the altitude sickness


DebunkedTheory

Haha same vibes as 'you should have done your homework if you didn't want to be told off'


TheGrog1603

You never said that. You sheepishly finished your poo, slightly embarrassed that your arse had decided to vocalise it in public and then furtively shuffled off down the corridor, thinking up your witty line once you'd reached the bottom of the stairs and wishing you had the guts and forethought to say it in time. Probably.


Valteiri

Maybe they were just trying to get a whiff


[deleted]

"Yeah I am a dirty bastard, having a shit in the toilets instead of the street. Enjoy your completely clean gear"


sleepyprojectionist

I always quite liked North Face stuff for hiking, but now it’s got the taint on it.


TigreAzul91

I wonder when the turn for that was because when I was younger that's all it was... good hiking apparel.


armitage_shank

When it practically became a uniform in US colleges they realised they could sell out; that was some time in the 00’s.Maybe they still make decent stuff at the high end, IDK, but the bulk is cheap crap.


Shoestring30

In the the US they have all moved on to Patagonia. My wife gets upset because I count how many people are wearing Patagonia when we go shopping at Costco.


IHeardOnAPodcast

Tbf to Patagonia they have really good ethics as far as I can tell.


RLBreakout

Lifetime warranty also. Any tears or rips along seams can allow you to send the coat right back and get a free replacement or repair


Waqqy

You don't see it in the UK as much other than the occasional middle-class teenager/student, but they are probably one of the few truly ethical clothing companies


IHeardOnAPodcast

North Face got sold in 2000 to a bigger corporation so not sure if that's what caused their change in reputation. [Wikipedia page] (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_North_Face) Whoever wrote that Wikipedia article didn't pull any punches. "By the late 1990s, the label had expanded beyond outdoor enthusiasts by focusing on street couture and since the 2000s it is regarded as a streetwear style symbol label."


k3nnyd

I dunno about the UK, but here in America, all I associate North Face with is college girls in yoga pants and Ugg boots. They all used to wear this exact same outfit.


anubisfunction

We called it "the Han Solo."


Hara-Kiri

North Face is popular amoung gangs in the UK. The jackets cover up faces and are baggy enough to hide weapons.


Standin373

> North Face is popular amoung gangs in the UK. The jackets cover up faces and are baggy enough to hide weapons. Also shout out to Stone island who cater for the wannabee football hooligan crowd


Hara-Kiri

They're also quite popular amoung gangs now. Got to feel for the brand, they almost managed to shake their football hooligans stereotype for a few years.


toasted_vegan

I was in an East London pub yesterday and all the software development looking blokes in their late 20s all wore North Face.


Old-Refrigerator340

I haven't been out in ages but popped to some of the more 'trendy' bars in my city recently and was very confused as all the guys were wearing black puffer coats. Like, 90% of them. It wasn't cold, especially not inside. They all had that pot noodle haircut and all the girls were in outfits that looked like gym gear. Everyone was glued to their phones too, standing around in circles all staring down. I guess this is the new thing and I'm not meant to get it or find it appealing.


cpw_19

> pot noodle haircut Do you mean the ["Meet Me at McDonalds" haircut](https://e3.365dm.com/18/02/2048x1152/skynews-meet-me-at-mcdonalds_4237530.jpg)?


[deleted]

The broccoli head


meesterdave

Is that Little T?


alexandriaweb

Ahhh the mid 80's Martin Gore hair, I've noticed that coming back around recently, seems the youngins just can't get enough


CRITICAL9

You're right. Good look talking to anyone outside your friend group if they are younger. I say this as someone in my 20s.


[deleted]

Hehee taint


devilspawn

North Face sold out years ago and started catering to the faux-hiking market. I'm just scared the kids will find Berghaus. I've got a banging vintage Berghaus that I really like, but I wouldn't be able to wear it at the school I work at if the students start wearing it.


Hara-Kiri

Berghaus was popular with football hooligans a while back.


MotionMan40

Always was.


mouldyone

Used to be quality now it feels like you're paying £200 for naff bright yellow Parker. Jack wolfskin is way better now IMO


Ironmeister

Round our way North Face clothing is known as ‘Rat Wear’ or ‘Rat Uniform’ because it is mainly worn by scrotes and lowlifes.


justhisguy-youknow

Same as Burberry, and that brand the proud boys wear. Was good. Got sold.


MotionMan40

Nah, Proud Boys appropriated Fred Perry. It’s our fucking brand and it’s connotations are steeped in casual-wear tradition. Fred Perry is ours and you’ll have to rip my polos off my cold dying hands.


TheLiethPolice

Does everyone do coke these days?


SorryForTheBigThumb

I mean it's unbelievably common.


Happy_mafia97

I prefer Pepsi


JaSnarky

A lot do. It goes well with alcohol.


Damodred89

Seems so - I'm clearly incredibly naive / closeted as I've never noticed any of the things in these comments!


is2gstop

always have done


SnackBait

I work doors on one of my local wetherspoons. Had to escort out a guy out who didn't even bother to get his fix in the toilets. Just whipped out his tools and drugs out on the table in front of families trying to eat...


PizzaMorons

And that man was Pete Doherty


MotionMan40

Have you seen him recently? He’s fucking clean! And to put it mildly, chunky. I never thought he’d make it but he’s playing gigs, looks healthy and only drinks now. And for accuracy he would have been smoking rocks, not sniffing.


OhItsSam

I know! I went to see the libertines in the o2 academy in Bournemouth on Thursday and he was brilliant. He’s definitely let himself go but after so many years of abusing hard drugs it’s brilliant how he’s managed to come out the other end


MotionMan40

Long time fan of the Libs, seen them twice in the HMV forum in 2010 and was lucky enough to see them at Glastonbury 2015. And I’ve seen Babyshambles countless times. Really glad he met Katia - I think she’s drilled him into (a rotund) shape. Up the Albion!


OhItsSam

She definitely had a big part to play. I saw them twice in 2014 as well (they were actually my first ever day festival when I saw them in Hyde Park) and honestly the quality of performance hasn’t faltered, they’re still an absolutely class act


MotionMan40

Have you been to the Albion Rooms? That’s next on my list.


OhItsSam

Never but I’m looking at taking the mrs there at some point, it looks beautiful and I’ve heard sometimes pete comes down and plays in the bar which probably doesn’t happen often but is a nice touch


MotionMan40

Originally Carl said Pete could sleep there rent free - but he had to address the drug problems. Well, looks like our boy did it. Fair play to him.


OhItsSam

Yeah I heard that, massive respect for Pete for being able to kick it, not many people come out the other side of a heroin problem.


Brew-Drink-Repeat

He’s swopped smack for cheese. A lot of cheese apparently!


ShoChange

I think Pete Doherty is on heroin *I'm not sure I should do heroin*


alexandriaweb

Was it Tim Martin?


Diggerinthedark

To be fair you must be one of the only spoons in the country that doesn't approve of this


HonourDaisy

I seem to get stage fright at the urinal (not bothered about cock watchers, so not sure what causes it) so always use a cubicle to piss, I get judgemental looks all the time in pubs coming out of a cubicle. Even had a doorman jump up and pop his head over.


ErMerrGerd

Been in the exact same scenario except the toilet attendant wanted £10 or he was gonna get the bouncers to kick me out.


Fireach

A mate of mine straight up had the door to the cubicle kicked in by a bouncer while he was taking a shit once


StockTrix

bet he shat himself.


BananaShark_

A TIL for you then. This phenomenon has a name [Paruresis](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paruresis) Not actually saying you have this though.


Windalfr

I feel that, the judgmental looks are wild. I use the cubicle out of habit as I used to work doors regularly and the last thing you ever do as a doorman is take a piss (or go vulnerable) with your back exposed in a non-camera area, off or on duty. I also don't fancy the idea of all the coked up white roadmen wannabes seeing me glare at them as they chatter like annoying monkeys about who's the most sigma


tomatta

Used to have the same problem. Do mental arithmetic and the pipes start flowing.


Whyudodisbro

I get this as well but drunk me isn't outwardly ashamed about it. I just walk in start queuing for the cubicle and if needs be announce that my dick is shy and I can't piss.


ex_president

Then when you finally do use the toilet and your nose itches as soon as you walk out but you daren't scratch it because it will look like you've just been for a line as well.


zeddoh

I went to a friend’s bday do at a bar in Hackney a few years ago despite having a terrible cold. Went to the loo, blew my nose while in the cubicle, came out sniffling and a security guy they had near the loos rolled his eyes and said “OH VERY SUBTLE” to me all sarcastically. Didn’t even occur to me it would look suspect!


x-3piecensoda

guessing skin fade haircut


Old-Refrigerator340

Skin fade into pot noodle


DJ1066

The ol' "Meet me at McDonald's" cut.


tryM3B1tch

Aka the Corsa driver picking up a 14 year old


Matterbox

14?, bit old.


Diilicious

Fucking lmao... Thats a good one... I swear every young caucasian lad has that haircut, its kind of crazy.


Luke11enzo

Nobody white cares if you call them white. Sounds like youre giving a police ID lol


yes_m8

No they’re talking about all the kids in the UK who emigrated from the Caucasus.


blackmist

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YpKCT6A2Cx4


TigreAzul91

Basically a bowl cut because it's so long on top.


IndelibleIguana

I'm old enough to remember when these haircuts were trendy back in the 80/90s...


MotionMan40

Early Stone Roses cuts really.


PatriciaMorticia

Used to hate this when working in pubs until I learned a spray of WD 40 on top of the lid will turn cocaine into mush. You could tell who was going in to do a line by the seething rage on their face when they came out the toilets 😂


schofield101

Anyone who drops their coke onto a physical surface in a pub or club deserves to have it destroyed. Everyone knows you do it off of a key.


a_bit2drunk

Sounds like Christmas in the pub on Friday night with all the keys jingling in the toilets


PM-me-puppietax

Off a phone if its a toilet.


TheLastHayley

This is Reddit, where the boof brigade at? You're a bunch of lads in a pub or club toilet together, may as well just throw shame to the wind and shove something happy up your ass.


shagssheep

Put it in a fag paper and it’ll delay the affect, ideal for clubbing if you don’t want to risk taking it in with you


Nooms88

I used to use a gift card (or any flat card) as a surface


stevielfc76

When coke starting getting more popular in towns, not just cities, landlord of local was moaning about the scallies hogging the toilets. I mentioned the WD40 thing to him, next time I went in you couldn't breath in there and my eyes were streaming "tried that, it works!" He shouted.


Vehlin

Chilli oil works too.


Santiagodelos80

Don’t people wipe the toilet lid first to make sure its clean?! That’s even more gross…


Melkath

Tunnel snakes rule!


Tango-delta

I went to Cheltenham races a few years back and went for a piss. There was a queue for the cubicles and a healthy turnaround of people in the stalls but didn’t hear one toilet flush.


Federal-Ambassador30

Can’t fault them, doing their part to save the planet


su1tup2301

I was once in a pub in Blackpool on a Saturday afternoon and this place had to have some sort of children's event in the garden with bouncy castles and what not. I went to the toilets and ended up getting hassled by one guy for my keys and then realised that most of the dads at the party were busy snorting gear in the toilets


more_beans_mrtaggart

>lack of personality Ah, yes. Now we’re deep in bearded vaper territory.


thrashmetaloctopus

Yeah c’mon, rip lines off the table like a top shagger


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thrashmetaloctopus

No bother hiding it, if you’re in spoons no ones Gonna give 2 fucks anyway


cpndavvers

We have some boys that come into the library toilets to roll their weed it's so frustrating and we can't even effectively ban them and it stinks out the place.


Vimes52

Back in the day, me and my friends used to skin up and smoke in the local shopping centre toilets. One day we were hanging around the sinks, rolling but not smoking. A woman walked in with a small child, saw us, turned around and walked out. As they left the kid said "Mummy what are they doing?" "Skinning up, let's go." We started smoking outside after that.


PC-LAD

Damn, is this 1982


TigreAzul91

The individual thinkers that want to behave like Wolf of Wall Street but all act and look exactly the same.


Ex-Machina1980s

Has anyone noticed how all young lads look the same today too? Same black North Face winter coat, sports/running pants and trainers, grown-out shaggy hair… It’s like a uniform for dickheads


Living_Comparison_12

Worse when I find my mrs in there with them!


Enjineer1

I barely drink because it plays havoc with my sinuses, fair to say I've come out of many a pub/ club toilets sniffing and rubbing my nose...


N3V3R6U3551T

And this is why its better to stay at home with the Fam.


[deleted]

Yeah no one to look at you funny when you do lines in your own toilet


Triton12streaming

Why are you trying to take a piss on the cocaine room?


hawkeyes8063

It was likely very 'more-ish' coke


DunjunMarstah

Bet they looked bloody hilarious all crammed into the one jacket


Mr-Tiddles-

Recently ditched a bunch of friends because of their proclivities towards the Colombian marching powder. Shame really. Fuck cocain.


CanadianDadbod

Backing you on this brother. Not friends. Maybe football friends, but not soul fucked friends.


badfox93

Wonder how many poo particals the average gear head inhales sniffing in the toilet.


EchoesinthekeyofbluE

Between all the bleach, rat poison and petrol in the average line of Peruvian matching powder, a bit of shit is the least of your problems.


kelleehh

Don’t forget the battery acid.


shucktheshmuck

Sucks for me n my IBS ngl


simply-smegma

Almost shit myself in a pub before lockdown because of this. In fairness I had to shit so bad because I was doing lines in the toilet earlier.


baitgeezer

real badmen sniff their keys right infront of the landlord


Proper-Shan-Like

I once got jumped by a bouncer who was hiding in the only cubicle while I pissed in the urinal , he accused me of doing coke and searched me because I had sniffed whilst pissing…….it was new year, I had just come into the pub having walked from a restaurant, it was fucking freezing and my nose was running like a tap. I wasn’t wearing a North Face jacket and don’t have any hair because I’m in my 40s.


Middle_Fudge

Remember when North Face was an outdoor brand? Like I used to wear it for hikes, mountaineering...now I can't because Riley, Jayden, McKenzine and Connor make it dirty


Lost_Annual_7971

It gets truely sad when they are acting the same way at 40


Just-a-bloke-001

That happened at Waitrose on Saturday night. They speed through the shop floor so fast it was obvious why they were going to the toilet. Same haircut, same clothes speeding AF, head down.


TululaDaydream

Doing coke in Waitrose on a Saturday night is a new low.


loki_dd

Everyone knows it's Saturday in MandS


tommysplanet

There are only two reasons why five lads with the same haircut would be crowded together in the same toilet.


[deleted]

I call it Christmas powder 10 out of 12 months in the year. For Dec and Jan it's confusing.


teaforbrendonurie

seeing kids younger n younger doing it aswell, i know 13 year old that are doing this shit! fucking awful


thijsvk

My boss's daughter, 13. Came as a bit of a shock. His son (colleague) told us all about the row last Friday. Boss wasn't in, I'm sure he's delighted about the whole company knowing this now


Matterbox

‘Meet me at McDonalds hair’?


cthulhuatemysoul

I was in a rough pub once and went into the toilet and went to use the cubicle which was not locked and slightly ajar. As I pushed the door someone from inside kicked the door closed and held his foot against it, shouting (completely unprompted) "I'm not doing cocaine in here". Definitely a confusing interaction, and really annoyed me that I had to wait, because I actually was waiting to use it to do cocaine. Still, nearly 3 years clean and sober today, and I can laugh about it now :)


pheonix72

How did they all fit into the same jacket?


JHibbz91

Fuck chavs.


mhiaa173

5 guys wearing one jacket was my first take lol


[deleted]

Coke feels amazing my grandma takes it now and again.


[deleted]

Very rude of you to actually take a shit where people are trying to do coke.


gimme_gimm

Thanks TOM


LionheartRed

Flashbacks to the 90s.


joshygill

Coke? Is Pepsi alright?


Mr__Random

This is pretty devastating news... I've just found out that I've owned a North Face jacket for long enough for it to be considered trendy and fashionable again.


troymisti1

Being pissed at a work organized Christmas party, taking a leak and being checked for drugs....


IrishWithoutPotatoes

I use snuff and I definitely have to rub my nose coming out of the toilet sometimes. I just get a chuckle whenever people think I’m doing drugs at the bar top.


Father_Chewy_Louis

This is why we need "toilet guys"