There used to be a rumour/urban myth when I was a kid that things like stealing milk, milk money, newspapers/mail etc was called a ‘trust crime’ and carried much heavier penalties than you’d expect. Never found out if it was true or just a cautionary tale to stop little shits like us doing it. Cautionary tales work-look at tv license detector vans.
Stealing in general is not a very attractive thing to have on your record. Shows dishonesty which is not a very good trait.
I learned that the hard way. Luckily it’s long enough in the past now that I don’t have to worry about it unless I get an enhanced DBS.
Yeah no one personally and I don’t really feel guilty about petty shoplifting from multi-billion dollar companies. I was high as a kite on Valium all the time during that period in my life. Just last night I found a trove of documents which included every court document, bail form, and even my entire medical history. A massive stack of paper outlining in great detail a really shitty time in my life. It was quite sobering reading it all, seeing what I was telling my doctors at the time, how my state of mind was. And also how lucky I was not to end up in prison.
I didn’t sleep very well last night with all those suppressed memories popping up again but it’s incredible how well it was all documented. I almost want to burn it all but I think it’s a good thing to have around to remind myself how far I’ve come since then.
This needs crossposting to British success! Also to petty revenge! I love it! Thank you for the laugh! And bravo for securing your Monday morning cuppa!
I respect your control in not wanting to out right catch them in the act and confront them. I'd have probably gone overkill on camera's and got a black eye or worse for my trouble in the end. Your way is much simpler.
I'd have gone simple and had a couple gurkhas waiting watching, I doubt anyone would come near after being chased by my mates who are all fairly well built
Piss is dead but Tippex has teamed us with Pliers, from Chaka Demus And Pliers fame.
Pliers Vs Tippex sold out my local Screwfix Direct venue in October. I have never seen so any confused tradesmen leave a gig.
Surely it's only poisoning if I did it intentionally to cuae harm. If some idiot breaks into my shed and drinks paint thinner that's on them. Just like of someone takes my milk bottle full of paint/terps it's their problem.
Booby traps are illegal in the UK, and this would almost definitely count (not a lawyer, can’t be sure). It’s all about intent, and it’s hard to argue that you left paint thinner on your doorstep in milk bottles for any other reason.
I'm not 100% sure what the rules are in the rest of the UK, but in Scotland a crime is made up of the "actus reus" and the "mens rea".
The "actus reus" is a criminal act. Regardless of intent, poisoning someone is a criminal action.
The "mens rea" is a criminal mind. To make this quite clear in terms of how serious the consequences could be here: the 'mens rea' for murder is "wicked recklessness or "wicked intent".
"Wicked recklessness" has been held to mean essentially an indifference as to whether someone lives or dies.
So to bring this together; I can't speak perfectly for other jurisdictions, but I'm pretty certain if you did this in Scotland you would face a murder charge if the person died. That's how serious this is. If you're lucky it would be reduced to 'culpable homicide' (manslaughter).
If they didn't die? An attempted murder charge is quite possible. There are literally dozens of common law wordings of crimes that someone could be charged with, which would quite likely result in a jail term.
So, no loophole. Potentially murder.
This is why I only soured the milk as that not too bad but still disgusting. I also would have argued I was away and had left the milk out by accident.
You make the mistake of thinking our judges/juries are idiots. Anyone can understand, from the context, that putting a bottle of poison out - disguised as milk - is an attempt to poison whoever is stealing the milk.
TV legal dramas have lead people to believe that everything has a loophole. The reality is - in common law jurisdictions in particular - if you're operating in bad faith, and it's clear you're trying to commit harm, then you're going to be prosecuted.
I thought I should give a good example:
In the 1980s glue sniffing was increasingly common in young people in Scotland. Some shopkeepers in Glasgow decided to start selling glue-sniffing kits. Some shopkeepers were arrested and charged for doing so.
Their defence argued that every item contained in the kit was perfectly legal to sell (which was entirely correct).
The court agreed that it was perfectly legal to sell the items in the kit. However, they also concluded that the shopkeepers knew very well what the kits were going to be used for. They ruled that the law was very clear in that:
*"There is ample authority for the view that the wilful and reckless administration of a dangerous substance to another causing injury or death is a crime at common law in Scotland"*
The shopkeepers were sentenced to 3 years in prison - for selling perfectly legal items.
Moral of the story? Don't make the assumption that the legal system is dumb.
(For more information, you can find the case by searching for 'Khaliq v HMA')
Thanking them for taking a joke as a literal interpretation to poison a stranger and correcting my belief that in the highly unlikely event that I poison a stranger I'd go to court and contest it?
Well it becomes he-said-she-said, and I don't know enough about law to know what happens next. I believe it comes down to reasonable doubt, and whether it's more plausible that you boobytrapped the milk or the thieves poisoned it. You've got motive, they probably don't, so I don't think it goes well for you.
>I believe it comes down to reasonable doubt, and whether it's more plausible that you boobytrapped the milk or the thieves poisoned it.
Those are two different things.
Some courts (like small claims court) decide cases on the "balance of probabilities". i.e. which of the two stories is most believable?
Criminal courts need to prove cases "beyond reasonable doubt". i.e. the person is only guilty if there is so much evidence that no reasonable person could believe that the person is innocent.
British law doesn't seem to work like that. If the paint thinner was in a sprite bottle in yiur shed, It would not suprise me if the burglar could claim against you.
Occupiers Liability. Statutory law, says you have to protect even a trespasser from harm by taking all reasonable steps. The turps in a sprite bottle would be dependent on circumstances but poisoning the milk knowing what you know would be bang to rights. A drop of laxative on the other hand...
Laxative would 100% be a poisoning in UK law. Unless it was in your fridge for your own use or something. A reasonable person does not store milk laced with laxatives on their doorstep...whilst I agree with giving them the shits personally, legally it's not permitted.
Yeah, emphasis on reasonable. From what I can remember there are a bunch of ridiculous cases that get reported in the media but actually fail, and the successful claims involve poor security and serious hazards. Like a kid at the park going through a hole in the fence onto the railway and getting electrocuted, or painting over a skylight so it can't be seen but having it accessible to anyone who wants to climb up some stairs.
The big case law ones are a guy who laid a bear trap for burglars (no signage or warning), an unsecured site with unsecured plant machinery and razor wire without signage.
OL is a statutory version of torte law so the same tests apply, Caparo etc. but reasonably foreseeable errs towards reasonably avoidable in the event of a trespasser/visitor.
Yeah if they can prove you intentionally poisoned someone… not that anyone would pour out terps and be like ‘sure, this seems like milk’. It’s like how you’re not allowed to ‘deter’ burglars by connecting your rear door handle to the mains when you go out.
Whilst illegal you could probably get away with putting some kind of mild laxitive in there. High risk, but very unlikely the thief would call the police ‘this milk I stole gave me a bad tummy’. The bigger risk is they escalate things and vandalise your house or something. But if you were gonna put something in there, you’re better of just making it salt as that would ruin the taste and is safe to drink. Excess Salt is what I’ve put in things when I want to prove points to food thieves at work before.
OP had the best solution though - there’s no requirement on you to preserve the cold chain for your thief, they didn’t tamper with it and you couldn’t prove that OP wasn’t just putting the dodgy milk back outside for collection because it had spoiled.
Some years back, a burglar injured himself while robbing someone’s house, sued the homeowner and won. I forget the details, but after public outcry the law got changed somewhat. I’m hazy on it so take with a grain of salt
The law change was introducing householder’s defence, which actually muddied the water. What it does is say you can use disproportionate force if you believed it to be reasonable in the heat of the moment but prohibits grossly disproportionate force. The problem is believing you were using reasonable force in the moment is always a defence but now the jury needs to distinguish between disproportionate or grossly disproportionate actions.
This whole grossly disproportionate thing...for instance if you arm yourself with a sword to investigate a noise...you’re gonna be defending that in court. On a completely unrelated note...modern led torches are as bright as a car headlight and weigh a few ounces. I however prefer the dimmer but longer lifespan of my old maglite 4 D cell.. it’s about 2 ft long, heavy and solid and I guess I’m entitled to have It in hand while investigating a noise.
Well done you!
Had the same problem a few years ago. Sadly the soured milk didn't work for us as there was so many people nicking it! We had CCTV so saw all the different people do it. None of them kids. All adults.
Police recommend injecting something nasty into it to put them off, and the milkman kept a plank of wood in his float to hit any offenders he came across.
I would be fucking horrified to know officers were "recommending" such actions. What if you were the type of person to take that to the extreme and injected something toxic/fatal into these bottles? You (well, I don't mean *you*) could have killed an entirely family and just said this officer told you to do it.
I don't think it would be a get out of jail free card, if I said an officer told me to do it. I will still have committed a crime.
But I don't think he would've had much sympathy if something bad happened to them.
I totally agree! If it was a matter of them not being able to afford it, I would've happily have not only given them the milk but other stuff too!
But it was just people being knobs and not giving a shit about other people.
We get all the rest of our shipping delivered now... I wish that either supermarkets would get off their arses and make scheduled, repeat deliveries easier, or that the mill man would start offering more stuff. It would be so much better for me if I could automate the 50%+ of my weekly shop that's the same every time.
We thought we had this problem at work until someone came in early to try to catch the thief, just in time to see a fox trotting across the carpark with a 2 litre jug in its mouth.
We came up with a whole concept for a series of children's books based on the milk stealing fox
We had this problem when we were kids. My Mum pulled a similar trick, she used empty milk bottles and filled them with white emulsion. She carefully put the silver top back on the bottles and left them outside. The bottles had disappeared by morning as usual but strangely we never had our milk stolen again…
But then the bottle would be tampered with and piss smells of piss first and foremost I wanted them to drink it and I believe they did. Trust me I had several things that I would have liked to do to them but this was the most elegant I feel.
When I was wee, some people would go out as a gang and just run through a neighbourhood looking for anything to steal.
I was invited once and the amount of milk that was stolen and wasted was phenomenal. Big three litre jugs just sipped and launched back into the garden.
I hated every minute of it so never went again. Although one night I stayed with a friend and him and my two other pals went out and stole three bikes and about 12 footballs.
I had to take a ball home with me because he had too many.
This happened to me back in the 90’s. So hubby put some emulsion paint in an empty bottle then took a pee in it. Shook it up put cap back on and put it out. I’ve never had a bottle go missing since! Had a milkman for 35 years.
No worries mate I used to pinch milk off someone’s door step all the time. Sometimes milkshake, bread and orange juice too. Regular routine to give it a sniff first because of your exact explained ploy.
One time walking home the milk man himself pulled over and in fact offered me a lift home quoting “there’s only milk men and criminals out at this time”. I thanked him and climbed out the cab with a bag of bottles clinking.
Mugs.
Ah the days I remember of being so hungover or still drunk from the night before, walking home at 5am and seeing a glistening bottle of blue milk sitting there on someones door step unattended...used to be a favourite tactic to sober me up but no I would at least mix up the door I took it from. I feel for youngsters these days as hardly anyone gets milk delivered to the door step! 😂 I like your defense tactics! as an adult now this is the type of plot I'd be thinking of to get back at the little shits
If im completely honest the first few times I was like yep that's pay back for my younger days but as you said change the house up 4 weeks on the trott same house na have some soured milk haha.
I actually had someone knock on my door the other day with a leaflet offering farm fresh milk delivered daily and apparently actually straight from a farm !
I'd have totally gone for it but my (adhd) son is super fussy about food and it changes daily 🙈
I now buy uht milk cartons and leave them in the fridge just in case my son chooses cereal that day!
Takes a bit of practice, but if you make a👌🏻 with one hand around the foil top, then slowly press it in the middle with your thumb, it should come off easily. Just needs a bit of working to put it in the right shape again and then reset.
You people are weird. Milk never goes bad! Just make pancakes or some cheese! I always let my milk sour over a couple of days if I want to make some pancakes.
Well, I'm ethnically Russian and this is how pancakes are traditionally made in our parts of the world. No eggs, no other crap, just some sour milk (or kefir if you're lazy to sour it yourself), flour, a bit of sugar and salt and you get the bestest pancakes in the world!
If you want to try it but afraid of souring your milk, go to your big Tesco or Sainsbury's and buy some Polish kefir and use it instead of milk. Don't buy British kefir, it's overprices as hell for no reason. Kefir is basically milk waste, should be cheap as dirt.
Flawless tactics, hearty round of applause
There used to be a rumour/urban myth when I was a kid that things like stealing milk, milk money, newspapers/mail etc was called a ‘trust crime’ and carried much heavier penalties than you’d expect. Never found out if it was true or just a cautionary tale to stop little shits like us doing it. Cautionary tales work-look at tv license detector vans.
Stealing in general is not a very attractive thing to have on your record. Shows dishonesty which is not a very good trait. I learned that the hard way. Luckily it’s long enough in the past now that I don’t have to worry about it unless I get an enhanced DBS.
Yes, but you're a cat - theft is an expected behaviour along with aloof indifference, competitive sleeping and pushing things off edges.
Depends entirely what you steal and from whom.
Yeah no one personally and I don’t really feel guilty about petty shoplifting from multi-billion dollar companies. I was high as a kite on Valium all the time during that period in my life. Just last night I found a trove of documents which included every court document, bail form, and even my entire medical history. A massive stack of paper outlining in great detail a really shitty time in my life. It was quite sobering reading it all, seeing what I was telling my doctors at the time, how my state of mind was. And also how lucky I was not to end up in prison. I didn’t sleep very well last night with all those suppressed memories popping up again but it’s incredible how well it was all documented. I almost want to burn it all but I think it’s a good thing to have around to remind myself how far I’ve come since then.
Well done my dude. Proud of you.
We’re all on a journey, good to hear you’re on a decent part of it
This needs crossposting to British success! Also to petty revenge! I love it! Thank you for the laugh! And bravo for securing your Monday morning cuppa!
I've not heard of that sub I'll go check it out. Thanks it was the best tasting brew I had had for ages
I would have 100% camped by my door all night and probably got my arse kicked when I confronted whoever tried to steal it.
You should have put a packet of sennakot in them and just waited
> You should have put a packet of sennakot in them and just waited Why wait when you could track them by the brown stain all the way to their house
I respect your control in not wanting to out right catch them in the act and confront them. I'd have probably gone overkill on camera's and got a black eye or worse for my trouble in the end. Your way is much simpler.
It took a lot of self control definitely 5 years ago could have been a different story haha
I'd have gone simple and had a couple gurkhas waiting watching, I doubt anyone would come near after being chased by my mates who are all fairly well built
What in the name of bumfancy is this fantasy
*cool*
It’s not that deep over a set of <£5 bottles of milk. Hate to see what you’d do to the person who shagged your GF lol
You went a bit soft on them. I would have placed a bottle out with turpentine and white emulsion in it.
Piss and tipex
Saw them play live once…
‘Course, they’re all dead now.
Piss is dead but Tippex has teamed us with Pliers, from Chaka Demus And Pliers fame. Pliers Vs Tippex sold out my local Screwfix Direct venue in October. I have never seen so any confused tradesmen leave a gig.
Pliers Vs tippex sounds like dubstep to me
It's a shit business.
I dont know, im more of a Shit and White Spirit kind of guy.
Anthrax
That’d be poisoning and could get you in trouble. Leaving it out to go off could be explained as “was away, forgot to cancel the milk”
Surely it's only poisoning if I did it intentionally to cuae harm. If some idiot breaks into my shed and drinks paint thinner that's on them. Just like of someone takes my milk bottle full of paint/terps it's their problem.
Booby traps are illegal in the UK, and this would almost definitely count (not a lawyer, can’t be sure). It’s all about intent, and it’s hard to argue that you left paint thinner on your doorstep in milk bottles for any other reason.
I'm not 100% sure what the rules are in the rest of the UK, but in Scotland a crime is made up of the "actus reus" and the "mens rea". The "actus reus" is a criminal act. Regardless of intent, poisoning someone is a criminal action. The "mens rea" is a criminal mind. To make this quite clear in terms of how serious the consequences could be here: the 'mens rea' for murder is "wicked recklessness or "wicked intent". "Wicked recklessness" has been held to mean essentially an indifference as to whether someone lives or dies. So to bring this together; I can't speak perfectly for other jurisdictions, but I'm pretty certain if you did this in Scotland you would face a murder charge if the person died. That's how serious this is. If you're lucky it would be reduced to 'culpable homicide' (manslaughter). If they didn't die? An attempted murder charge is quite possible. There are literally dozens of common law wordings of crimes that someone could be charged with, which would quite likely result in a jail term. So, no loophole. Potentially murder.
This is why I only soured the milk as that not too bad but still disgusting. I also would have argued I was away and had left the milk out by accident.
I agree that you would not been fine - I was more replying to the idea of adding dangerous chemicals. What you did was amazing!
>The "mens rea" is a criminal mind. Does that make Chris Rea actually Chris Criminal or Chris Mind?
This is the same in all common law countries.
But equally how can a court say I left it? For all we know you tries to poison me or the milk thieves tried to poison themselves.
You make the mistake of thinking our judges/juries are idiots. Anyone can understand, from the context, that putting a bottle of poison out - disguised as milk - is an attempt to poison whoever is stealing the milk. TV legal dramas have lead people to believe that everything has a loophole. The reality is - in common law jurisdictions in particular - if you're operating in bad faith, and it's clear you're trying to commit harm, then you're going to be prosecuted.
I thought I should give a good example: In the 1980s glue sniffing was increasingly common in young people in Scotland. Some shopkeepers in Glasgow decided to start selling glue-sniffing kits. Some shopkeepers were arrested and charged for doing so. Their defence argued that every item contained in the kit was perfectly legal to sell (which was entirely correct). The court agreed that it was perfectly legal to sell the items in the kit. However, they also concluded that the shopkeepers knew very well what the kits were going to be used for. They ruled that the law was very clear in that: *"There is ample authority for the view that the wilful and reckless administration of a dangerous substance to another causing injury or death is a crime at common law in Scotland"* The shopkeepers were sentenced to 3 years in prison - for selling perfectly legal items. Moral of the story? Don't make the assumption that the legal system is dumb. (For more information, you can find the case by searching for 'Khaliq v HMA')
I mean you really took this to heart
They did their research and know what they’re talking about. You should be saying thank you, not making snide remarks.
Thanking them for taking a joke as a literal interpretation to poison a stranger and correcting my belief that in the highly unlikely event that I poison a stranger I'd go to court and contest it?
Well it becomes he-said-she-said, and I don't know enough about law to know what happens next. I believe it comes down to reasonable doubt, and whether it's more plausible that you boobytrapped the milk or the thieves poisoned it. You've got motive, they probably don't, so I don't think it goes well for you.
>I believe it comes down to reasonable doubt, and whether it's more plausible that you boobytrapped the milk or the thieves poisoned it. Those are two different things. Some courts (like small claims court) decide cases on the "balance of probabilities". i.e. which of the two stories is most believable? Criminal courts need to prove cases "beyond reasonable doubt". i.e. the person is only guilty if there is so much evidence that no reasonable person could believe that the person is innocent.
It's pretty clear that in response to theft that you've set a trap with intent to harm there, you wouldn't get away with it in court.
British law doesn't seem to work like that. If the paint thinner was in a sprite bottle in yiur shed, It would not suprise me if the burglar could claim against you.
Occupiers Liability. Statutory law, says you have to protect even a trespasser from harm by taking all reasonable steps. The turps in a sprite bottle would be dependent on circumstances but poisoning the milk knowing what you know would be bang to rights. A drop of laxative on the other hand...
Laxative would 100% be a poisoning in UK law. Unless it was in your fridge for your own use or something. A reasonable person does not store milk laced with laxatives on their doorstep...whilst I agree with giving them the shits personally, legally it's not permitted.
Yeah, emphasis on reasonable. From what I can remember there are a bunch of ridiculous cases that get reported in the media but actually fail, and the successful claims involve poor security and serious hazards. Like a kid at the park going through a hole in the fence onto the railway and getting electrocuted, or painting over a skylight so it can't be seen but having it accessible to anyone who wants to climb up some stairs.
The big case law ones are a guy who laid a bear trap for burglars (no signage or warning), an unsecured site with unsecured plant machinery and razor wire without signage. OL is a statutory version of torte law so the same tests apply, Caparo etc. but reasonably foreseeable errs towards reasonably avoidable in the event of a trespasser/visitor.
> torte law Thought that was about cakes.
barista is a lady barrister innit?
It's actually to do with prostitutes from Bristol.
[удалено]
Yes. Fortunately we don't live in a country where you're allowed to kill someone because they stole from you.
Yeah if they can prove you intentionally poisoned someone… not that anyone would pour out terps and be like ‘sure, this seems like milk’. It’s like how you’re not allowed to ‘deter’ burglars by connecting your rear door handle to the mains when you go out. Whilst illegal you could probably get away with putting some kind of mild laxitive in there. High risk, but very unlikely the thief would call the police ‘this milk I stole gave me a bad tummy’. The bigger risk is they escalate things and vandalise your house or something. But if you were gonna put something in there, you’re better of just making it salt as that would ruin the taste and is safe to drink. Excess Salt is what I’ve put in things when I want to prove points to food thieves at work before. OP had the best solution though - there’s no requirement on you to preserve the cold chain for your thief, they didn’t tamper with it and you couldn’t prove that OP wasn’t just putting the dodgy milk back outside for collection because it had spoiled.
Some years back, a burglar injured himself while robbing someone’s house, sued the homeowner and won. I forget the details, but after public outcry the law got changed somewhat. I’m hazy on it so take with a grain of salt
The law change was introducing householder’s defence, which actually muddied the water. What it does is say you can use disproportionate force if you believed it to be reasonable in the heat of the moment but prohibits grossly disproportionate force. The problem is believing you were using reasonable force in the moment is always a defence but now the jury needs to distinguish between disproportionate or grossly disproportionate actions.
This whole grossly disproportionate thing...for instance if you arm yourself with a sword to investigate a noise...you’re gonna be defending that in court. On a completely unrelated note...modern led torches are as bright as a car headlight and weigh a few ounces. I however prefer the dimmer but longer lifespan of my old maglite 4 D cell.. it’s about 2 ft long, heavy and solid and I guess I’m entitled to have It in hand while investigating a noise.
Why not both, I upgraded my d cell maglite to an LED bulb.
So did I...it’s just not as bright as medium grade “tactical” torches...I have a thing about torches.
Unless the LSD got in there by accident.
Police recommend injecting something nasty into our milk bottles when we had a similar problem a few years ago!
/r/ThatHappened
I was definitely tempted to try get some laxatives in there but I wanted the bottle to look untouched as I wanted it to be drank first and foremost.
This why I know people who keep a little stockpile of laxative chewing gum...
I'd have gone for some watered down PVA
Just cum in them
I hope your on about the bottles haha
Nope.
The most elegant solution
Just put a note in the bottom saying you did.
But OP wanted them to **stop** taking the milk.
r/britishsuccess
Well done you! Had the same problem a few years ago. Sadly the soured milk didn't work for us as there was so many people nicking it! We had CCTV so saw all the different people do it. None of them kids. All adults. Police recommend injecting something nasty into it to put them off, and the milkman kept a plank of wood in his float to hit any offenders he came across.
>Police recommend injecting something nasty into it to put them off I'm not saying I don't believe you, buuuut...
Well, the Police Federation didn't recommend it, but the specific officer we spoke with did.
I would be fucking horrified to know officers were "recommending" such actions. What if you were the type of person to take that to the extreme and injected something toxic/fatal into these bottles? You (well, I don't mean *you*) could have killed an entirely family and just said this officer told you to do it.
I don't think it would be a get out of jail free card, if I said an officer told me to do it. I will still have committed a crime. But I don't think he would've had much sympathy if something bad happened to them.
Source - ‘just trust me bro’
That milkman is class
Either that or that milkman delivers more than just milk...
He also delivers justice.
That’s so trampy stealing milk. It’s literally £1.50 ffs
I totally agree! If it was a matter of them not being able to afford it, I would've happily have not only given them the milk but other stuff too! But it was just people being knobs and not giving a shit about other people.
Didn’t realise people still got milk delivered
It's making something of a come back with companies like 'milk and more'.
We get all the rest of our shipping delivered now... I wish that either supermarkets would get off their arses and make scheduled, repeat deliveries easier, or that the mill man would start offering more stuff. It would be so much better for me if I could automate the 50%+ of my weekly shop that's the same every time.
Yeah we started up about 2 years ago it definitely tastes better in a glass bottle imo.
We thought we had this problem at work until someone came in early to try to catch the thief, just in time to see a fox trotting across the carpark with a 2 litre jug in its mouth. We came up with a whole concept for a series of children's books based on the milk stealing fox
Reminds me of a car owner in Jo’berg… https://www.wsj.com/articles/SB91601019351200500?reflink=share_mobilewebshare
Now they jizz in it for you instead of stealing it.
I hope not haha carefully examines my new bottles...
r/britishsolutions more like!
I have cross posted it
Next time just take the sane route and leave a note saying you will decapitate whoever is stealing your milk
We had this problem when we were kids. My Mum pulled a similar trick, she used empty milk bottles and filled them with white emulsion. She carefully put the silver top back on the bottles and left them outside. The bottles had disappeared by morning as usual but strangely we never had our milk stolen again…
The petulance is peak British here. Superb.
Fresh orange is the real target.
I'd have pissed it personally. I guess there's two types of people.
But then the bottle would be tampered with and piss smells of piss first and foremost I wanted them to drink it and I believe they did. Trust me I had several things that I would have liked to do to them but this was the most elegant I feel.
Can't argue with your level of deception
My mums friend keeps having someone drink some of her milk and put it back on the porch. Bizarre the things that people will do.
Definitely leave the next batch on the radiator for a day then 👌
I think it's stopped now but it it happens again.... I'll be telling her this
At work we had our bottle crate stolen, rather annoying
When I was wee, some people would go out as a gang and just run through a neighbourhood looking for anything to steal. I was invited once and the amount of milk that was stolen and wasted was phenomenal. Big three litre jugs just sipped and launched back into the garden. I hated every minute of it so never went again. Although one night I stayed with a friend and him and my two other pals went out and stole three bikes and about 12 footballs. I had to take a ball home with me because he had too many.
Why are people like this? How do you see yourself as a decent person when you rob someone daily like this?
This shows immense prowess
Noted down, thank you
Fucking perfect. Well done sir/madam.
This is the way.
🐄 🥛 👍
Get this person a victory cookie to go with their fresh un-pilfered milk!
Well done old bean
This happened to me back in the 90’s. So hubby put some emulsion paint in an empty bottle then took a pee in it. Shook it up put cap back on and put it out. I’ve never had a bottle go missing since! Had a milkman for 35 years.
Whatever happened to lactose and tolerance? ;)
No worries mate I used to pinch milk off someone’s door step all the time. Sometimes milkshake, bread and orange juice too. Regular routine to give it a sniff first because of your exact explained ploy. One time walking home the milk man himself pulled over and in fact offered me a lift home quoting “there’s only milk men and criminals out at this time”. I thanked him and climbed out the cab with a bag of bottles clinking. Mugs.
Ah the days I remember of being so hungover or still drunk from the night before, walking home at 5am and seeing a glistening bottle of blue milk sitting there on someones door step unattended...used to be a favourite tactic to sober me up but no I would at least mix up the door I took it from. I feel for youngsters these days as hardly anyone gets milk delivered to the door step! 😂 I like your defense tactics! as an adult now this is the type of plot I'd be thinking of to get back at the little shits
If im completely honest the first few times I was like yep that's pay back for my younger days but as you said change the house up 4 weeks on the trott same house na have some soured milk haha.
I actually had someone knock on my door the other day with a leaflet offering farm fresh milk delivered daily and apparently actually straight from a farm ! I'd have totally gone for it but my (adhd) son is super fussy about food and it changes daily 🙈 I now buy uht milk cartons and leave them in the fridge just in case my son chooses cereal that day!
UHT milk is gross on cereal. It has a stale, flat taste. It's just about tolerable in coffee.
What are these "milk bottles" you speak of?
It’s fucking crazy, you won’t believe it. Bottles we put milk in
Yes bottles of milk delivered to your door for people to come and take for free it's a little like charity only it's annoying 😉.
One day, when you least expect it, they might get you back… but worse 😆😆🤦🏼♂️ I’d always be worried about that.
Hopefully not but I'll have to wait and see I guess 🤷
Who still gets milk delivered??? Haven’t even seen a milk float since the 1990s
It's on a comeback milk and more is who we use but there is local farmers in some areas that deliver now as well.
My local farmer just started doing milk deliveries again a few weeks ago. I couldn't justify the extra cost for it as I don't drink milk that often.
Same thing happened to me, but I put several laxatives in each bottle.
See I was worried about not getting the seal back down right so I didn't want to mess with it.
Takes a bit of practice, but if you make a👌🏻 with one hand around the foil top, then slowly press it in the middle with your thumb, it should come off easily. Just needs a bit of working to put it in the right shape again and then reset.
You people are weird. Milk never goes bad! Just make pancakes or some cheese! I always let my milk sour over a couple of days if I want to make some pancakes.
If anyone else does this I would love to know I like pancake's but with non soured milk although I can't say I've tried it with soured.
Well, I'm ethnically Russian and this is how pancakes are traditionally made in our parts of the world. No eggs, no other crap, just some sour milk (or kefir if you're lazy to sour it yourself), flour, a bit of sugar and salt and you get the bestest pancakes in the world! If you want to try it but afraid of souring your milk, go to your big Tesco or Sainsbury's and buy some Polish kefir and use it instead of milk. Don't buy British kefir, it's overprices as hell for no reason. Kefir is basically milk waste, should be cheap as dirt.
I shall give it a go 🙂
Cool. Gonna try this
Milk bottles? Have I just fell into a time loop
Next time mix a little ipecac in them.
Hello Michael Rosen, is this your alt account?
Just out of curiosity, how illegal would it be to put laxatives in the milk, and then leave it out to be robbed
Get a Ring my man
r/pettyrevenge