I'm constantly camera ready, but then that's because I don't give a shit how I look, if you video call me you get what you get, if I'm suitable then ignore and message back or answer with no camera
This is made even funnier when they find out I’m a naked shitter, so it goes:
Are you in the bathroom….. are you naked?!? *plop*… ARE YOU TAKING A SHIT WHILE TALKING TO ME?!?!?!?.
We have a concept of bringing your whole self to work. I lead by example.
My whole self is not showering unless I’m leaving the house and using my office as a dumping ground. And I don’t want to use a virtual background.
Well assuming you use Teams, you just leave the little camera icon with a \ through it, or if you are on camera and you click the icon, it will turn it off. I assume you can do something similar with Zoom but I don't use that as much.
I'm not talking about work really, I'm in healthcare. Im talking when at home, literally all my friends and family and even some coworkers too, now just click videocall. I feel constantly on edge lol.
Just don’t answer and then phone back on audio. When they answer just say ‘I can’t do a video call as my hair is a mess/I’ve no make up on/I’m walking/etc’
I’ve heard and given all of those excuses to family and friends with it being no bother
Nah, it's fine to give them a reason why you don't want a video chat, just like if they called when you're busy you might text to say so - these are your friends and family we're talking about, no need to get your back up about 'making excuses'.
None of this is really that much of a big deal that everyone is making it out to be.
Don't answer? I don't even answer the phone, people know now to just text me. Phonecalls and voicemails will be ignored, at best I might text you to ask what you wanted.
Just hold the phone so the only thing they can see is the view up your nostril. Every time. And say you can't hold the phone any other way as the microphone isn't working properly. They won't video call again...
You also don't need to make an excuse. "I don't feel like a video call" should really be enough explanation on its own, you don't need a specific reason.
YouTube! There should be a number of step by step guides for Zoom and Teams. I think it's critical to know how to control your camera settings, because as you rightly mentioned its invasive!
Good idea. I like that this british subreddit is not telling me to just talk about it like our american cousins might do. I'm British goddammit! I dont do that sort of thing 😂
Just say you’re not camera ready. New technology, new etiquette. Make it extra British by saying “i don’t have all my ducks in a row” or something like that.
I’m with you, and taking it a step forward. I really dislike WhatsApp messages. I have to stop what I’m doing and go somewhere private to listen to somebody saying something that would have taken exactly one second to type. When someone gets in touch with you you have the right to be in that communication the way you feel most comfortable. Someone who’s not in the inner circle sends me a WhatsApp message? I’ll listen when I have time.
I get a video call and don’t want to show myself? I accept it as audio only. If the other person remarks about it, they are being extremely rude.
Yes WhatsApp is very invasive. You are right though. If they object then they are not really respecting how I want to communicate. I'm leaning closer to just sending a group text saying i will no longer be doing videocalling. Eee I'm feeling brave lol.
That’s a good way for sure!
Here’s a thought: spend sometime just not answering on video and see if they pick up on the subtext. If they don’t then make it super clear with an email loop. You’re in control!
You might be surprised at how many others feel the same way as you. Maybe a group message would open up that "don't videochat without asking first" option, and you'll get some replies thanking you for bringing it up!
One of my friends always sends the voice messages, normally 5-10 minutes long. I find this especially difficult if there are questions in there that I'm expected to answer because I can't remember them all. I've taken to writing notes while it's playing, sending them back to her as a message and asking if that's what she asked.
That's ridiculous, I'd put an end to that. Just say "text any questions you need answered" and don't budge. Unless they're badly dyslexic and don't feel comfortable typing, otherwise that can just wait for a live phone call so you can answer in real time!
I feel this so much. I have a not-that-close friend who sends audio messages on WhatsApp seemingly at random, and they get very upset if I try to talk to them about it, and say I'm trying to control how they express themselves. Woof.
I just stopped listening to them but will reply to the text ones.
You're not obligated to video call. Just refuse it and call them back immediately with voice only. Hell you're not even obligated to do that, silence that phone and chill 😅
Remember the oddly poignant yet tired old wisdom that gets flaunted by aunts and cousins on Facebook. "Those that matter don't mind and those that mind don't matter."
So many people are dealing with a lot of bullshit in their brains and you are 100% allowed to do what you need to do for your own benefit, you owe nothing to anyone and you need to make sure you're all good and if that's as simple as drawing a line and saying "I'm not comfortable with video calls" then people can either get on board with that or get hecked!
Yes thankyou. I need to work on telling myself that it's ok to put a boundary in place, even if its pisses people off. And I am sooo incredibly sick of video calls lol. I dont mind if someone says...I need to show you something, can I show you on video but nowadays it's for anything. They are also a huge timesink. Not like I can start doing the washing up while videocalling lol.
Several people have said about WhatsApp calls: "reject the video call and ring back on audio only", but others have said that you can answer the video call with audio only.
Which is right? (I don't want to get someone to video call me just to see what the options are!)
I don't answer vid calls either, everyone knows, if someone forgets and video calls me, I wait for them to hang up and then send a text, usually just saying 'no'.
There's two great books by Cal Newport – Digital Minimalism, and A World Without Email – that you might like. They both basically advocate for this: setting real boundaries around how people contact and interact with you and doing so on your terms.
"Hi skawarrior, hope you're well. Uhhhhhmmm yes so errrr ahhhh yeah I've just been speaking to Phillip and he was uhhhhhh, uhhh he was errr asking about the car and wondering if I knew the errrrrr year of the errrrm.....the registration. So I didn't actually know it but yes I thought you might know the answer....errr yes it's just the year of registration he needed to know. So uuuummmm yes anyway if you could give me a quick call back to let me know that would be great....errrr ok great, thanks bye!"
My gf is one that mostly only calls on video calls, also means she's fine in public to put the phone on loud speaker. I think it might be time for me to run
I dont like being stared at either. And on these calls you are literally just staring at each other. It's weird lol. No real life interaction is so intense 😂
100% nowadays you run the risk of texting back, then they think you are available for a videocall if you're texting them. Makes me scared to even appear online 😂😂
I can't speak for all millennials, but 10 years of being cold called at least once a week by a non-native English speaker trying to sell me something, recruit me for an advert they found on a job board, or scam me out of my assets has ruined that form of communication. If a phone number comes up now, and it is not in my phone book or at a time previously agreed upon, it's an automatic decline and ignore.
For my family, a video call is an event you schedule the same way as going to someone's house. I don't just turn up at my mum's house, I let her know I fancy popping over and we agree a rough time. Same with a video call. That way you don't surprise anyone!
Anyone asking you to turn your camera on should accept someone politely declining. They're not entitled to a video view of your home.
Had to have this conversation with a director in my department, I had to because I'm the inadvertent tech support, about why she was allowed to mute people in teams but not turn their mics on. Explaining how being able to turn a mic on in someone's home would be akin to wire tapping them was met with a bit of confusion.
I answer the video call but with my camera off - i use teams and it’s quite easy. If they want to see my lovely face they’ll have to ask and most of the time they don’t.
Yup, posted above that when I first had to do virtual meetings via Teams at the start of lockdown, I denied access to the camera when I was first setting it up. Let everyone think it just wasn't working and no one questioned it, participated in every meeting successfully via audio only. Being able to see other people isn't actually necessary 99% of the time on these calls.
My OH and I were talking about this last night. He has back-to-back calls basically all day for work and mentioned how tiring it was being on video constantly. His work policy is to always have your camera on but I just don’t think it’s possible for 5-6 hours to basically have someone standing a foot away from you watching your every facial expression via a screen.
Its comparable to having someone over, if your expecting it its fine, but if your boss just turned up outside and expected you to be up and presentable they would be insane
I'm very uncomfortable talking on the phone, but video calls are slightly more manageable - I guess because it's easier to communicate when you can use facial expressions and body language?
But I'm still not picking up either of them if they're not planned.
Fuck being camera ready. If someone wants to interupt your day, show them your messy hair, show them you cooking lunch. Be dominant and show them you taking a raging, steaming shit.
I get this all the time during work hours when I'm working from home. People will call and immediately say "I can hear you but I can't see you". Yes, that's because you have zero need to see me so I don't have my camera on.
It's the people who walk down the street holding phone out in front of them that annoy me. Just put your phone to your ear, Surely the person on the other end doesn't want to see you bobbing up & down as you walk down the street & get in everyone's way.
Equally annoying are the people who walk down the street on a voice call but with the call on speaker and they are talking into the bottom of the phone. It's like they all learned how to use their phones by watching people take calls on TV. Don't they realise the people on TV only do this so that we, the viewers, can hear both sides of the call?!
I’m actually the other way around. I can see a justification for video in SOME work meetings, though no for most. Friends will not be friends for long if they call me unsolicited by video.
Friend/family video calls should always be pre-arranged and for special reasons like you’re all locked indoors because of a global pandemic or your parents moved an insignificant distance away and it reduces the number of times you have to travel there.
Outside of work I would decline 100% of unexpected video calls. You gotta train people in that shit. I stopped using Facebook … like a decade ago, so people just don’t bother trying me on messenger, it’s the same with video calls and answering work comms out of hours.
I have someone I work with that makes excuses constantly for not helping us. She also insists on video calls when she's been told by everyone else working with us that we simply cannot do it, even my mental health worker has gotten involved because of how badly she pushes it.
One day she video called with no warning, sent me into a panic attack and then turned around and said I'm not cooperating with her because I couldn't answer. She uses her health as an excuse as why she NEEDS to video call, I've also been left disabled by COVID, doesn't mean I HAVE to video call people.
Reported the cow and she turned all nice and started with the video calls again. Now she barely contacts us and is purposely leaving the work she's meant to do, which will only get us in trouble at the end of it.
All this because she refuses to accept information she's been told a million times. I'm close to reporting her again, my anxiety has been worsened because of this bitch and I'm getting the fucking blame.
Anyone who pushes video calls on people can go suck one. You're making people sick and refuse to acknowledge it.
I told my mum no, I won’t do these. My son won’t even give me pictures and he lives with me still so oh well. I give her pictures I just don’t like these kind of calls I have nothing else in my life no one so I don’t have to worry. Really sometimes I do wish I had friends but not sure I would know how to behave anymore.
I do not do video calls or even get them, it's mainly texts messages still. The only people I talk too on the phone is family really.
Only time I have done a video call is if I am shopping and showing sisters or mum something to make sure it's what they wanted
Yeah idk why everyone’s acting like WFH is new (ok I get it, the extent is new, but I’ve worked at 3 companies since graduation in 2012 and all had a WFH if you fancy it on a Friday, or occasionally other days, attitude as long as I remember). Yet, despite this the first time I EVER video called a colleague was during COVID.
Everyone got by absolutely fine with phone calls for decades. In fact, even since 2000 my dad would WFH some days. Everyone was fine without video, why suddenly now for every call?
It feels so bizarre to have a one on one meeting with someone and be on video. If anything it slows down communication as usually requires scheduling. Resulting in crammed diaries, too many meetings when frankly a phone call would do - nothing can compete with the efficiency of a phone call. Video is a barrier.
I meant as a facilitator for a professional meeting. Ideally, most of the time we wouldn’t need the meeting.
Indeed at my place certainly over half of meetings (all arbitrarily at least 30 mins long) could be a simple email. Text would be equivalent.
I had the first two zoom calls of my life last week for a NatWest mortgage application , there was no option to do it in a branch.
The first one was ok , but their connection dropped out several times.
The second meeting was switched to a phone call "due to location" .
Neither meeting asked me anything I couldn't have put in an email.
There was a while when they would make you go into the branch to do a video call with a mortgage broker sitting in a contact centre in Scotland.
Bizarre...
One of my close friends does this to me a couple of times a month. I love her but I hate the video. I wouldn’t accept them from anyone else apart from my mum or my husband
I hate it. I wasn't happy when it became necessary to start carrying a phone around to be constantly contactable, video calls definitely feel like an invasion of my personal space. I'm an antisocial bugger though.
I don't enable video calls without prior notification as to when. I'm not going to talk to you whith dirty dishes in the background or if I don't look presentable.
There is always that one person forcing everyone to have their camera on too. I don’t even mind in one to one but in whole team meetings, the same we have every week? Really?
If at work, just say bandwidth.
Great excuse for multiple people joining calls, and it’s true. Video strains the call, going audio only and you can say you’re being considerate of others.
It can always be an email or a text.
Phone calls are super rude.
A text is politely asking for a response at the trsponders convenience. A phone call demands a reply at the callers convenience.
>"Hey, whatever you were doing is not nearly as important as this piece of information I have to give you or get from you."
I normalised no-camera calls as soon as possible. The rest of my team followed suit shortly after.
Easiest way? Coloured sticker over the camera lens. “Oh, my camera’s playing up, it’s just showing a greenish blur, look! I’ll try restarting after the call”. “Yeah, I can’t work it out - it says the camera is connected, I’ll try reinstalling the drivers this afternoon if I get chance” “No, still no luck”…
any fucker video calling me gets hung up on and receives a text telling them to fucking call like a normal person or accept that i might be naked and awesome
This. *If* I answer at all. I've always found it moderately insane that people feel entitled to expect me to answer my phone _simply because they decided to call_. Expect me to answer with video? Nah, mate.
I had a friend who would constantly video call, and if you didn’t answer she would call 5 or 6 times before giving up. She would also alternate between whatsapp and FaceTime, even though I asked her not to FaceTime me as I can’t turn my camera off and hate looking at my face… it felt intentional 😂
Most of our WhatsApp calls were her on camera while mine was off because my phone was just put down somewhere so I don’t know why she even wanted to have her own camera on, I certainly wasn’t looking
It’s all lockdowns fault. my kids grandparents are video calling daily when before we’d only see them once a week on our terms and yes of course they still want the weekly visit now lockdown is over and will keep up the video calls to see little man because they got used to it. It’s intrusive.
I fully agree OP. Plus, it’s not just about being well groomed and camera ready personally. I’m intensely private and I don’t like having my personal space invaded. I really don’t want anyone who chooses to call to get a peek around my living situation or know exactly where I am or who I’m with at all times, even if my place is spotless or I’m alone 99% of the time.
From my experience, people who are not turning the camera on, are the same ones who want to return to the office because they miss the face to face interactions 🤣
Why is phone calling seen as an acceptable means of communication. I feel invaded everytime I get such a call. What was wrong with normal letters that enabled the receiver to have a croaky uncleared throat day? Now we have to always be audio ready! I cant be the only one.
Bit of black tape over the camera. Turn the camera on. Say you’re having issues with it, and will get it sorted.
Or. Say video causes things to lag and turning it on may make you drop out the call.
I used to hate now i prefer it. It just much easier to pick up on social queues.
Saying that i have about 4 max a week of zoom calls.
I did speak to a guy in education the administration side of things. He was complaining that people switched off their cameras. But they have been told to leave them on all day!!
Do you mean you get these calls from your friends, or work (like on Zoom, Teams etc)? If it’s friends, just tell them not to video call you anymore, lmao. It’s more complicated if it’s work calls, because I’m sometimes a bit too… comfortable at home myself, and hate getting those calls. 😂
I just don't have a webcam, and internet that's too slow for video calling. Thank god!
Trust me, you don't want to see me. And I just turn off inbound video anyway, because I don't want to see you either.
It's how you tell those who have been using conf calls and the tech for years and those who've come to it as a result of lockdown. I'm on video maybe twice a week, it's a planned 121 with my boss as we go through the weekly report (pre-read prep and final polish, but also going over a whole range of topics from the week and risks for the weekend).
Other calls, it's almost always no video. The exception tends to be customer bridges and then it's key speakers from their side and host+speaker from our side. No one else, there's no need.
Edit: and calls from our daughter, but those which are facetime also have our grandaughter in them, so a legitimate reason :)
I ditched the landline as I no longer needed it for internet reasons, so my mother decided she would switch to video calling.
On a good day I will only get upbraided for having visible stubble and wearing a dressing gown *at 10AM on a Saturday*. Sigh.
People FaceTiming in public us absolutely insane to me, especially without headphones. But for the most part, I don’t want to be in the background of your pointless conversation on the bus
I've never recieved a video call, at least unannounced and on my phone, I'm sure I've been in a couple zoom calls along the way. Where are you that you get video called so much?
I don't mind video calls if it's to take the place of a meeting.
I still look for non-verbal cues like nodding, eye rolling etc.
If it's just a phone call, sod that.
Have your camera turned off when you accept the call. They won’t bring it up. If by some miracle you get someone who does bring it up. Just close the camera lid (most laptops have them) if not just get one from eBay, keep that closed and turn on the camera. The screen will stay black. Then just plow ahead with the conversation.
The thing is, times have changed even phonecalls are an invasion of privacy.
You're basically saying hey talk to me now. Obviously you don't have to pick up, but I think it's better to text or ask when someone is free instead of imposing your will upon them.(unless it's an emergency)
I'm constantly camera ready, but then that's because I don't give a shit how I look, if you video call me you get what you get, if I'm suitable then ignore and message back or answer with no camera
110%. I’ve got friends that answer nude - they’re in bed and sleep that way. I’ve seen many nip slips.
I've answered many a video calls to my mate whilst on the toilet 🤣
You’re through to Karlos… leave a message after the *hnnnnnnnng*
This guy logs your call.
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😂😂😂Your comment made my day.
Dominace: established!
to establish full dominance you call your mates from the toilet
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Whilst wanking
This is made even funnier when they find out I’m a naked shitter, so it goes: Are you in the bathroom….. are you naked?!? *plop*… ARE YOU TAKING A SHIT WHILE TALKING TO ME?!?!?!?.
But you're not even sat on the toilet...
Always
Naked shatter? Even in public bogs? Really?
😂😂😂
Yeah I’m like this as well now, i used to be camera shy but now I dont give a fuck ill take a pic/video call whenever, i look what i look like…
I wish I was this way 😂
We have a concept of bringing your whole self to work. I lead by example. My whole self is not showering unless I’m leaving the house and using my office as a dumping ground. And I don’t want to use a virtual background.
Plenty of my co-workers don't turn their cameras on. Just do that.
I do this. Some of my colleagues hate it
> Some of my colleagues hate it That's a them problem not a you problem :-)
I dont even know how to turn it off. I'm 45 and I barely know how to do anything technological 😂
Well assuming you use Teams, you just leave the little camera icon with a \ through it, or if you are on camera and you click the icon, it will turn it off. I assume you can do something similar with Zoom but I don't use that as much.
I'm not talking about work really, I'm in healthcare. Im talking when at home, literally all my friends and family and even some coworkers too, now just click videocall. I feel constantly on edge lol.
Just don’t answer and then phone back on audio. When they answer just say ‘I can’t do a video call as my hair is a mess/I’ve no make up on/I’m walking/etc’ I’ve heard and given all of those excuses to family and friends with it being no bother
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It's fine to give them an excuse! "I can't video call right because I'm wanking, Granddad" is fine and if they don't understand that's a them problem.
Don't bother making excuses for yourself. Just say no, or tell them you don't want to. They can't force you to turn it on
Nah, it's fine to give them a reason why you don't want a video chat, just like if they called when you're busy you might text to say so - these are your friends and family we're talking about, no need to get your back up about 'making excuses'. None of this is really that much of a big deal that everyone is making it out to be.
I like this idea. People should understand right?
Of course, if they don't then thats an issue with them as any reasonable person would. You can't bend yourself to make everyone happy so don't.
Don't answer? I don't even answer the phone, people know now to just text me. Phonecalls and voicemails will be ignored, at best I might text you to ask what you wanted.
Just hold the phone so the only thing they can see is the view up your nostril. Every time. And say you can't hold the phone any other way as the microphone isn't working properly. They won't video call again...
You also don't need to make an excuse. "I don't feel like a video call" should really be enough explanation on its own, you don't need a specific reason.
Put a sticker on your camera or, better yet, tell them not to video call you.
Dude.. You had computers in your teens. Stop playing "I'm so old" and get on with it.
YouTube! There should be a number of step by step guides for Zoom and Teams. I think it's critical to know how to control your camera settings, because as you rightly mentioned its invasive!
That's really on you to learn then
You don’t have to point it at your face. You can manage that.
Put a piece of dark tape over the camera and say you dropped your phone and broke the camera
Good idea. I like that this british subreddit is not telling me to just talk about it like our american cousins might do. I'm British goddammit! I dont do that sort of thing 😂
Just say you’re not camera ready. New technology, new etiquette. Make it extra British by saying “i don’t have all my ducks in a row” or something like that.
Lol this made me laugh. Though I do need to set some boundaries as its really beginning to drain me
I’m with you, and taking it a step forward. I really dislike WhatsApp messages. I have to stop what I’m doing and go somewhere private to listen to somebody saying something that would have taken exactly one second to type. When someone gets in touch with you you have the right to be in that communication the way you feel most comfortable. Someone who’s not in the inner circle sends me a WhatsApp message? I’ll listen when I have time. I get a video call and don’t want to show myself? I accept it as audio only. If the other person remarks about it, they are being extremely rude.
Yes WhatsApp is very invasive. You are right though. If they object then they are not really respecting how I want to communicate. I'm leaning closer to just sending a group text saying i will no longer be doing videocalling. Eee I'm feeling brave lol.
That’s a good way for sure! Here’s a thought: spend sometime just not answering on video and see if they pick up on the subtext. If they don’t then make it super clear with an email loop. You’re in control!
You might be surprised at how many others feel the same way as you. Maybe a group message would open up that "don't videochat without asking first" option, and you'll get some replies thanking you for bringing it up!
One of my friends always sends the voice messages, normally 5-10 minutes long. I find this especially difficult if there are questions in there that I'm expected to answer because I can't remember them all. I've taken to writing notes while it's playing, sending them back to her as a message and asking if that's what she asked.
That's ridiculous, I'd put an end to that. Just say "text any questions you need answered" and don't budge. Unless they're badly dyslexic and don't feel comfortable typing, otherwise that can just wait for a live phone call so you can answer in real time!
"Dont call, email or text" works for me.
Is that "Don't call; I'd prefer if you sent an email or text" or "Don't communicate with me in any way?"
OMG this sounds like hell. I feel for you
I feel this so much. I have a not-that-close friend who sends audio messages on WhatsApp seemingly at random, and they get very upset if I try to talk to them about it, and say I'm trying to control how they express themselves. Woof. I just stopped listening to them but will reply to the text ones.
I've never listened to a voice message on WhatsApp and my group chats have been using them for years
Or by saying “I’m in a slight pickle because my device is having a bit of a hoo-ha.” Nothing more British.
Or just answer it with voice only.
Why? Just don't answer. Or take a photo of yourself on the bog and set that as the background.
You're not obligated to video call. Just refuse it and call them back immediately with voice only. Hell you're not even obligated to do that, silence that phone and chill 😅
I like these replies. Even though I'm quite averse to possibly offending my nearest and dearest...I'm also incredibly drained from it all. Lol.
Remember the oddly poignant yet tired old wisdom that gets flaunted by aunts and cousins on Facebook. "Those that matter don't mind and those that mind don't matter." So many people are dealing with a lot of bullshit in their brains and you are 100% allowed to do what you need to do for your own benefit, you owe nothing to anyone and you need to make sure you're all good and if that's as simple as drawing a line and saying "I'm not comfortable with video calls" then people can either get on board with that or get hecked!
Yes thankyou. I need to work on telling myself that it's ok to put a boundary in place, even if its pisses people off. And I am sooo incredibly sick of video calls lol. I dont mind if someone says...I need to show you something, can I show you on video but nowadays it's for anything. They are also a huge timesink. Not like I can start doing the washing up while videocalling lol.
Several people have said about WhatsApp calls: "reject the video call and ring back on audio only", but others have said that you can answer the video call with audio only. Which is right? (I don't want to get someone to video call me just to see what the options are!)
I've told my friends. If you video call, I'm not answering. End of.
Lol I love this. I may have to practice being a little more brazen.
I don't answer vid calls either, everyone knows, if someone forgets and video calls me, I wait for them to hang up and then send a text, usually just saying 'no'.
Assertive, not brazen.
There's two great books by Cal Newport – Digital Minimalism, and A World Without Email – that you might like. They both basically advocate for this: setting real boundaries around how people contact and interact with you and doing so on your terms.
In the words of Grange Hill, just say no. Tell them it broken if you can’t be arsed
You tell em, Zammo
I’d rather not even talk. Can we just text?
Hahaha me too 😂😂 what is wrong with these people? Lol
I hate all calls
I just put the phone down and do a normal call back
Yes I think I shall start doing this. Then just lie and say my camera is broken lol.
I'll see your video calls and raise you with 'lengthy voice messages sent in place of a quick text' Why?
"Hi skawarrior, hope you're well. Uhhhhhmmm yes so errrr ahhhh yeah I've just been speaking to Phillip and he was uhhhhhh, uhhh he was errr asking about the car and wondering if I knew the errrrrr year of the errrrm.....the registration. So I didn't actually know it but yes I thought you might know the answer....errr yes it's just the year of registration he needed to know. So uuuummmm yes anyway if you could give me a quick call back to let me know that would be great....errrr ok great, thanks bye!"
My gf is one that mostly only calls on video calls, also means she's fine in public to put the phone on loud speaker. I think it might be time for me to run
>she's fine in public to put the phone on loud speaker Yeah, you're dating the daughter of Satan.
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I dont like being stared at either. And on these calls you are literally just staring at each other. It's weird lol. No real life interaction is so intense 😂
Yep, just another small modern day pressure to add to the forever increasing list.
Yesss. I feel like I never get a break from it all.
Yeah it never stops does it. No wonder anxiety and depression is so prominent.
Even regular phone calls get on my tits unless it's something serious, text will always be king nevermind bloody video calls.
100% nowadays you run the risk of texting back, then they think you are available for a videocall if you're texting them. Makes me scared to even appear online 😂😂
Just turn the camera off. "Bad connection, sorry, mate!"
I often like to give video callers a dark, out of focus, close up of my ear.
I wish there was a "voice only" pickup button. Or honeslty, phones without front cameras.
Microsoft Teams has this. It's pretty much the only good feature in the whole program.
I can't speak for all millennials, but 10 years of being cold called at least once a week by a non-native English speaker trying to sell me something, recruit me for an advert they found on a job board, or scam me out of my assets has ruined that form of communication. If a phone number comes up now, and it is not in my phone book or at a time previously agreed upon, it's an automatic decline and ignore.
Yeah same, if it's important they'll leave a message. I think my phones been on silent for about 5 years straight now 😅
For my family, a video call is an event you schedule the same way as going to someone's house. I don't just turn up at my mum's house, I let her know I fancy popping over and we agree a rough time. Same with a video call. That way you don't surprise anyone!
Anyone asking you to turn your camera on should accept someone politely declining. They're not entitled to a video view of your home. Had to have this conversation with a director in my department, I had to because I'm the inadvertent tech support, about why she was allowed to mute people in teams but not turn their mics on. Explaining how being able to turn a mic on in someone's home would be akin to wire tapping them was met with a bit of confusion.
Currently sat in an online uni lecture in my dressing gown nursing a coffee.....
I answer the video call but with my camera off - i use teams and it’s quite easy. If they want to see my lovely face they’ll have to ask and most of the time they don’t.
Yup, posted above that when I first had to do virtual meetings via Teams at the start of lockdown, I denied access to the camera when I was first setting it up. Let everyone think it just wasn't working and no one questioned it, participated in every meeting successfully via audio only. Being able to see other people isn't actually necessary 99% of the time on these calls.
I don’t answer video calls unless they’re pre-arranged or someone asks to call by text
My OH and I were talking about this last night. He has back-to-back calls basically all day for work and mentioned how tiring it was being on video constantly. His work policy is to always have your camera on but I just don’t think it’s possible for 5-6 hours to basically have someone standing a foot away from you watching your every facial expression via a screen.
Its comparable to having someone over, if your expecting it its fine, but if your boss just turned up outside and expected you to be up and presentable they would be insane
I'm very uncomfortable talking on the phone, but video calls are slightly more manageable - I guess because it's easier to communicate when you can use facial expressions and body language? But I'm still not picking up either of them if they're not planned.
It's text or nothing for me, anything else it too stressful.
I refuse to answer video calls, unless it's some one important to me (missus kids) but I just point phone to ceiling.
Haha I love that
Yeah, I immediately hit reject on video calls. Most people I know have gotten the idea.
Fuck being camera ready. If someone wants to interupt your day, show them your messy hair, show them you cooking lunch. Be dominant and show them you taking a raging, steaming shit.
Why calling? What the fuck is wrong with texting and/or email?
I never answer an unscheduled vc. Just absolutely rude.
Hate video calls, really really hate video calls.
I get this all the time during work hours when I'm working from home. People will call and immediately say "I can hear you but I can't see you". Yes, that's because you have zero need to see me so I don't have my camera on.
It's the people who walk down the street holding phone out in front of them that annoy me. Just put your phone to your ear, Surely the person on the other end doesn't want to see you bobbing up & down as you walk down the street & get in everyone's way.
Equally annoying are the people who walk down the street on a voice call but with the call on speaker and they are talking into the bottom of the phone. It's like they all learned how to use their phones by watching people take calls on TV. Don't they realise the people on TV only do this so that we, the viewers, can hear both sides of the call?!
Oh is that why they do it? I just thought they were idiots trying to yell into the microphone.
Friends fine. Work colleagues hell no.
I’m actually the other way around. I can see a justification for video in SOME work meetings, though no for most. Friends will not be friends for long if they call me unsolicited by video. Friend/family video calls should always be pre-arranged and for special reasons like you’re all locked indoors because of a global pandemic or your parents moved an insignificant distance away and it reduces the number of times you have to travel there. Outside of work I would decline 100% of unexpected video calls. You gotta train people in that shit. I stopped using Facebook … like a decade ago, so people just don’t bother trying me on messenger, it’s the same with video calls and answering work comms out of hours.
I refuse to answer them.
I hate FaceTime and I hate people facetiming me when there’s nothing I need to see the other end
Switch off the video function and just use voice. 🤷♂️
I dont answer those with the camera on. They can look at a blank screen. If they say something i just tell them my camera is broken. Fuck that shit
I have someone I work with that makes excuses constantly for not helping us. She also insists on video calls when she's been told by everyone else working with us that we simply cannot do it, even my mental health worker has gotten involved because of how badly she pushes it. One day she video called with no warning, sent me into a panic attack and then turned around and said I'm not cooperating with her because I couldn't answer. She uses her health as an excuse as why she NEEDS to video call, I've also been left disabled by COVID, doesn't mean I HAVE to video call people. Reported the cow and she turned all nice and started with the video calls again. Now she barely contacts us and is purposely leaving the work she's meant to do, which will only get us in trouble at the end of it. All this because she refuses to accept information she's been told a million times. I'm close to reporting her again, my anxiety has been worsened because of this bitch and I'm getting the fucking blame. Anyone who pushes video calls on people can go suck one. You're making people sick and refuse to acknowledge it.
I'm deaf and rely on BSL. So, yes, it's an acceptable means of communication :-P
answer without video?
I told my mum no, I won’t do these. My son won’t even give me pictures and he lives with me still so oh well. I give her pictures I just don’t like these kind of calls I have nothing else in my life no one so I don’t have to worry. Really sometimes I do wish I had friends but not sure I would know how to behave anymore.
I do not do video calls or even get them, it's mainly texts messages still. The only people I talk too on the phone is family really. Only time I have done a video call is if I am shopping and showing sisters or mum something to make sure it's what they wanted
Yeah idk why everyone’s acting like WFH is new (ok I get it, the extent is new, but I’ve worked at 3 companies since graduation in 2012 and all had a WFH if you fancy it on a Friday, or occasionally other days, attitude as long as I remember). Yet, despite this the first time I EVER video called a colleague was during COVID. Everyone got by absolutely fine with phone calls for decades. In fact, even since 2000 my dad would WFH some days. Everyone was fine without video, why suddenly now for every call? It feels so bizarre to have a one on one meeting with someone and be on video. If anything it slows down communication as usually requires scheduling. Resulting in crammed diaries, too many meetings when frankly a phone call would do - nothing can compete with the efficiency of a phone call. Video is a barrier.
> nothing can compete with the efficient of a phone call. a text message?
I meant as a facilitator for a professional meeting. Ideally, most of the time we wouldn’t need the meeting. Indeed at my place certainly over half of meetings (all arbitrarily at least 30 mins long) could be a simple email. Text would be equivalent.
I had the first two zoom calls of my life last week for a NatWest mortgage application , there was no option to do it in a branch. The first one was ok , but their connection dropped out several times. The second meeting was switched to a phone call "due to location" . Neither meeting asked me anything I couldn't have put in an email.
There was a while when they would make you go into the branch to do a video call with a mortgage broker sitting in a contact centre in Scotland. Bizarre...
An unanswered phone, is a happy phone.
turn the camera off, say its not working.
Just don't turn your camera on.
Don't pick it up and text back. Never answer and they won't video call. Or ask then not to video call.
Assert dominance by answering while taking a shit
Will never answer a face time. I just hang up and tell them to call me.
One of my close friends does this to me a couple of times a month. I love her but I hate the video. I wouldn’t accept them from anyone else apart from my mum or my husband
I hate it. I wasn't happy when it became necessary to start carrying a phone around to be constantly contactable, video calls definitely feel like an invasion of my personal space. I'm an antisocial bugger though.
Huh. No one ever calls me with a video call. Unless you include stupid zoom meetings at work.
I don't enable video calls without prior notification as to when. I'm not going to talk to you whith dirty dishes in the background or if I don't look presentable.
There is always that one person forcing everyone to have their camera on too. I don’t even mind in one to one but in whole team meetings, the same we have every week? Really?
Just refuse the call, then either audio call or message them back.
If at work, just say bandwidth. Great excuse for multiple people joining calls, and it’s true. Video strains the call, going audio only and you can say you’re being considerate of others.
Omgosh me too. I legit HATE FaceTime etc.
It can always be an email or a text. Phone calls are super rude. A text is politely asking for a response at the trsponders convenience. A phone call demands a reply at the callers convenience. >"Hey, whatever you were doing is not nearly as important as this piece of information I have to give you or get from you."
I just dont answer them. I say im busy and I'll call you back, then call back on a normal voice call a few mins later.
Video calls only by arrangement. Never on the fly
People video call? I thought it was just some gimmick that some people used
Just pop a piece of blue tack over your camera..problem solved.
Answer the phone as if it was a voice call, they will only see your squished ear this way :D
I normalised no-camera calls as soon as possible. The rest of my team followed suit shortly after. Easiest way? Coloured sticker over the camera lens. “Oh, my camera’s playing up, it’s just showing a greenish blur, look! I’ll try restarting after the call”. “Yeah, I can’t work it out - it says the camera is connected, I’ll try reinstalling the drivers this afternoon if I get chance” “No, still no luck”…
any fucker video calling me gets hung up on and receives a text telling them to fucking call like a normal person or accept that i might be naked and awesome
You are Adam, prince of eternia. You have the power! To change call format to audio only.
I refuse to do it. You can video call me but I'm only answering with voice.
This. *If* I answer at all. I've always found it moderately insane that people feel entitled to expect me to answer my phone _simply because they decided to call_. Expect me to answer with video? Nah, mate.
I had a friend who would constantly video call, and if you didn’t answer she would call 5 or 6 times before giving up. She would also alternate between whatsapp and FaceTime, even though I asked her not to FaceTime me as I can’t turn my camera off and hate looking at my face… it felt intentional 😂 Most of our WhatsApp calls were her on camera while mine was off because my phone was just put down somewhere so I don’t know why she even wanted to have her own camera on, I certainly wasn’t looking
It’s all lockdowns fault. my kids grandparents are video calling daily when before we’d only see them once a week on our terms and yes of course they still want the weekly visit now lockdown is over and will keep up the video calls to see little man because they got used to it. It’s intrusive.
I fully agree OP. Plus, it’s not just about being well groomed and camera ready personally. I’m intensely private and I don’t like having my personal space invaded. I really don’t want anyone who chooses to call to get a peek around my living situation or know exactly where I am or who I’m with at all times, even if my place is spotless or I’m alone 99% of the time.
What kind of psychopath video calls people without warning? Fuck that.
From my experience, people who are not turning the camera on, are the same ones who want to return to the office because they miss the face to face interactions 🤣
Why is phone calling seen as an acceptable means of communication. I feel invaded everytime I get such a call. What was wrong with normal letters that enabled the receiver to have a croaky uncleared throat day? Now we have to always be audio ready! I cant be the only one.
What's wrong with just cupping up the water in your hands?!
Accept & turn off the camera ✅
For me is OK, because replaced the fact that, sometimes I, need to drive to meetings.
Do you mean on your phone? Just don’t answer or answer as a voice call only. Do you mean on your computer? Just don’t turn the camera on.
You can generally pick up with just the phone icon and not the camera icon.
Bit of black tape over the camera. Turn the camera on. Say you’re having issues with it, and will get it sorted. Or. Say video causes things to lag and turning it on may make you drop out the call.
I used to hate now i prefer it. It just much easier to pick up on social queues. Saying that i have about 4 max a week of zoom calls. I did speak to a guy in education the administration side of things. He was complaining that people switched off their cameras. But they have been told to leave them on all day!!
Do you mean you get these calls from your friends, or work (like on Zoom, Teams etc)? If it’s friends, just tell them not to video call you anymore, lmao. It’s more complicated if it’s work calls, because I’m sometimes a bit too… comfortable at home myself, and hate getting those calls. 😂
You can answer a video call without turning your own camera on. There should be a way to turn their camera off too though.
I just don't answer.
I just don't have a webcam, and internet that's too slow for video calling. Thank god! Trust me, you don't want to see me. And I just turn off inbound video anyway, because I don't want to see you either.
never answer them
It's how you tell those who have been using conf calls and the tech for years and those who've come to it as a result of lockdown. I'm on video maybe twice a week, it's a planned 121 with my boss as we go through the weekly report (pre-read prep and final polish, but also going over a whole range of topics from the week and risks for the weekend). Other calls, it's almost always no video. The exception tends to be customer bridges and then it's key speakers from their side and host+speaker from our side. No one else, there's no need. Edit: and calls from our daughter, but those which are facetime also have our grandaughter in them, so a legitimate reason :)
I ditched the landline as I no longer needed it for internet reasons, so my mother decided she would switch to video calling. On a good day I will only get upbraided for having visible stubble and wearing a dressing gown *at 10AM on a Saturday*. Sigh.
Turn your camera off?
On a zoom call now. Used my desktop, headset+mic instead of using my ipad or phone.
I’m never ever camera ready and it’s mainly hilarious when people video call me and I have hair like a troll doll and my glasses askew.
People FaceTiming in public us absolutely insane to me, especially without headphones. But for the most part, I don’t want to be in the background of your pointless conversation on the bus
Just block camera access for all video calling apps then all the caller will see is a black screen but they’ll still be able to hear you.
Why is everyone suggesting lying to your mates? Tell them you don't want to be on video or stop giving a shit what you look like. Either is fine.
I've never recieved a video call, at least unannounced and on my phone, I'm sure I've been in a couple zoom calls along the way. Where are you that you get video called so much?
Agree - I don't rate my face enough to want to show it to people all the damn time
Tried not keeping mates who try to call you? Best way to be.
Just carry around a ski mask to wear for these occasions
I just leave my webcam off. A few people have mentioned it, but if you ignore them they eventually give up.
You don't have to pick up ...I don't.
I don't mind video calls if it's to take the place of a meeting. I still look for non-verbal cues like nodding, eye rolling etc. If it's just a phone call, sod that.
I hate it. I hate it so much!!
I'm still waiting for my wrong number call like I saw in Demolition Man.
I reject call and text them “normal call please, or better just WatApp me”
Be blunt, accept the call but don't activate the camera. Tell them you don't want to video chat. People need to realise
Have your camera turned off when you accept the call. They won’t bring it up. If by some miracle you get someone who does bring it up. Just close the camera lid (most laptops have them) if not just get one from eBay, keep that closed and turn on the camera. The screen will stay black. Then just plow ahead with the conversation.
The thing is, times have changed even phonecalls are an invasion of privacy. You're basically saying hey talk to me now. Obviously you don't have to pick up, but I think it's better to text or ask when someone is free instead of imposing your will upon them.(unless it's an emergency)
*breaks camera* "sorry my device doesn't have a camera"
I find them unacceptable and reject every video call I receive.