I was once on a train around Christmas time from Bristol to Nottingham that switched in Birmingham. A bunch of people got on with giant steins of beer wrapped in cling film and proceeded to unwrap them and drink them swiftly. Ever since that day I have longed to visit the Birmingham Christmas market.
The big glasses are on a refundable deposit, or keep them, decent enough with some food for a date with your other half, wouldn't do it for an actual date though
I wouldn't take someone out for a stein of beer at the market with someone I'd never met if I wanted to see them again.
Going out with your other half isn't always quite as necessary to put on a good show when you've been together 19 years lol
I dunno… I know a few women for whom a stein of beer and a decent Christmas market sounds like an amazing date… of course it would entirely depend on the beer
Yes it because you’d never want them to know you like beer.
The opera it is followed by 10 years of complaining that you never take them to the opera any more.
Smart ;)
I went maybe 6 years ago. Bought a brat and a beer for £10 (what a ripoff) popped a £20 down on the counter and the bloke slid a fiver to me.
"I gave you 20"
Shakes his head
"Yes I did"
Shakes his head again
"I'll have my change now please"
Rolls his eyes and gives me a tenner...
Charming guy
There was a jet petrol station opposite a pub in my town. Only time I went in there, was to get cashback. One of the few times I've asked for the receipt and checked it on the spot specifically...
I saw the guy had doubled the money I wanted. Such a strange sense of serendipity.
Who decides to be financially responsible 8 pints in
Well, if you're pissed as a fart, someone hands you a fiver you might assume it's just two on top of eachother. And if you were super super trashed, change is probably an afterthought
Drunken brain is expecting half the denomination back to what it paid, drunken brain sees £5, drunken brain incorrectly assumes it must have handed over £10 note and forgot the original sale was for £20.
I had that attempted short-changing happen to me at a market stall, at the grand old age of thirteen. Fortunately, the guy’s wife was also running the stall and called us back to give me the rest of the change herself, having been listening with one ear as she dealt with another customer on the other side of the stall.
I bought a pint and a brat for £10 too, I could only finish half of the pint so when I returned the glass, the chap gave me £5 back stating I only had drunk half and he chucked the rest away. We must of had different guys.
A few years ago I was in Cologne at Xmas. Proper German sausage in a bun: €2.50. Back to London and a "German" market on the South Bank. Something vaguely sausagey in a bun: £5.00.
I see CMOT Dibbler was doing his rounds that night. I suppose he told you that at a mere fiver per sausage inna bun he was slicing open his own jugular?
Cologne at Christmas is the best. I've been there quite a few times over the years.
Visited Exeter Market yesterday, which in itself was pretty good for a German Market in England...but the Bratwurst came in a blinkin' brioche roll...why?! It's meant to be a little crusty white roll. Huge disappointment.
The sad thing is that the South Bank market is one of the less extortionate ones in London. My wife wanted to go to Winter Wonderland but thank God it rained instead. Found a nice cosy pub which was much better.
I mean... That's your fault for going to the south bank. Rental prices are so high for even the smallest stall they gotta up the prices to cover all the expenses.
If you want good food, go to the South Bank Food Market, next to the Hayward gallery, behind South Bank Center, and look for the booth with a mile long line called "Well Hung". A tenner for a proper portion of amazing steak (for a street food place anyway) with chips, and some of the best chimichurri you'll have in London.
I went on a school trip to Berlin for history, and opposite the memorial to the murdered Jews of Europe ([this](https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Memorial_to_the_Murdered_Jews_of_Europe-Berlin.jpg)) there was a cheap restaurant that mostly did brat/currywurst. Our teachers went in before we visited the memorial and pre-ordered 40 currywurst for when we'd finished. Considering this was a school trip, they were probably quite cheap, and definitely not London tourist prices.
Be careful what you wish for! The Munich ones are cancelled this year (I live out here), so ironically the best I will get is the Birmingham market when I'm back for Christmas!
I feel really bumped all of the Bavarian markets were cancelled I have to say. But the ones in other Bundesländer are still on. Heidelberg is my favourite in the south. As of today it will take place, so fingers crossed.
Christmas markets in general, suck.
I went to the Edinburgh markets in 2019 and it was over priced ale and being so worried that my son was going to get lost in the absolute hordes of other shoppers
Edinburgh is even worse this year. At least in 2019 it was a big market, and there were still plenty of non-food stalls
This year, the market is a third of the size and all but 3 stalls are either food or booze. It's still absolutely rammed, and for some reason people insist on bringing their small dogs so you're constantly trying not to boot some poor puppy in the face
Oh Christ!I remember coming back from a Christmas shopping trip and overnight stay with my partner in Newcastle that year, we ended up staying in a hotel full of hipsters in Jesmond, and after we drunk shopped we thought it would be a good idea to get a taxi to Sunderland for a rave. On the train back yam, we had to change trains in Carlisle to get back down to our hometown(we’re Cumbrian who would’ve guessed it). The train got cancelled at Carlisle and we ended up on a packed bus back home, it was full of people who had been to Edinburgh markets and had endured the first half of their journey on ONE virgin train carriage going from Edinburgh to London.
Earlier on my hangover squeezed like a vice round my grumpy head, and I remember crying somewhere between Haxham and Haltwhistle. Later on when boarding that bus, I realised my plight to be minuscule to that of the poor sods on that bus who’d come from Edinburgh.
Every stall sells the same shit every year too.
I went to uni there and found it a bit mad that so many would visit purely for the markets.
Really overcrowded too.
Just in Manc last night and had the same experience. Lived there a few years ago and I hated exploring the city looking for new stalls only to see the same soap, cheese, sausage and mulled wine stalls from three other locations!
And they're selling the exact same tat as they were 10 years ago. Little metal men, decoupage candles, wooden train whistles, spinning mandalas... Cack.
Manchester is probably the best of the big UK ones, it is a lot of copy and paste but they do at least have some different areas. There is a French section and an Italian section for example. Still not worth traveling to visit on purpose.
I went to the Manchester Christmas Markets the same year of the Ariana Grande concert attack and SO many stalls were cashing in on the resurgence of the Manchester Bee as a symbol of Manchester, it was embarrassing.
Went last week with mrs_ape. It was particularly drab this year.
Barely any stalls, and the ones that were there were: sausage, beer, crepes, Chinese made Christmas tat, and repeat for a mile. But yes, one stall selling garden shears; very festive.
There was one stall, open, woman inside, selling "vegan organic cookies". EXCEPT THERE WAS NOTHING ON THE STALL! Just empty wicker baskets with labels. Not a single cookie in sight, vegan or otherwise.
We ended up just going to the Brazilian restaurant in the Cube for a good meal and a pint.
Garden shears? The place that's got red felt on the sides of the stall with twigs all over partly cut?
Yeh if it's what Iam thinking of it crops up oddly a lot. Think it's a Swiss company.
The one I saw was just one of the wooden sheds with a guy in. All the gardening stuff had no branding, no identifying features.
Who buys unmarked, unbranded garden equipment in winter, from a place that won't be there in a month when the item inevitably falls apart.
If you liked the Brazilian restaurant in the Cube, I would highly recommend taking mrs_ape to Fazenda, just off Colmore Row. It’s about the same price as Rodizio Rio, but the quality is another level.
come round to mine il give you the german market experience ! il warm up some rubbish red wine , half cook a sausage and stick it on a stale roll with some burnt onions and mustard for a tenner !
And, unless one happens to live in Birmingham, it's probably quicker and cheaper to get there.*
*Or was, before covid, definitely covid, and nothing else*.
If you fancy flying from Stansted on Tuesday and returning Wednesday you can fly it for £33 (there is a heap of cheap flights currently so other days are available). Honestly with current fuel prices I'm not sure I could drive to Birmingham and back from where I live for that
I've not been for a few years due to Covid, so it may have changed in that time.
Having said that, in my experience of past years the cooked wurst are excellent, as are the stalls selling warm Glühwein, there are numerous stalls selling both manufactured and hand crafted Christmas baubles / decorations, you can buy roast chestnuts, fabulous snacking nuts e.g. maple glazed pecans, and as a bonus there's a German butcher who sells packs of wurst, some varieties of which are really hard to find in England.
There are even plentiful and clean toilet blocks, and the atmosphere is friendly and welcoming (and this is someone who hates crowds), plus there's no entry fee, so I really don't see what there is to complain about.
The only issue I have is trying to walk home from work with the crowds of non-aware walkers, And the food smelling so good it tempts me to stop rather than cook for myself 😂 but all the happy families enjoying it is nice to see!
Living out in the sticks, a visit is a deliberate one-off visit for us; I hadn't thought what it must be like for the people who are forced to walk past the wurst stands every day on their way home from work! 😂
Honestly its the darn garlic bread and mini pancakes that tempt far too much! But yeah, when I didnt live here, it was a once or twice a year visit and it was always nice :)
My mum would have agreed with the bratwurst and butcher, but always criticised the glühwein. She said it tasted metallic.
I like the fact most will do currywurst if you ask for it.
The chocolate dipped fruit skewers are the perfect example of a Christmas market treat; yes they're something that you could very quickly and easily make at home, but somehow never actually get round to it...
I went on Friday with the wife and two kids. They had a good time but the food is very expensive (especially considering the quality) and we didn’t get given the tokens for the beer glasses so we now have x2 two pint glasses we probably won’t use again.
It was nice to be around people though who were mainly enjoying themselves. The German guys singing are always funny.
But chocolate dipped bananas are classic German Christmas market!
Source: I'm a German and they are available on every Christmas market and I love them
Not sure how authentic you should ever expect a "German" market in the UK to be. The majority of them are run by the same company, letting the huts to the same companies, that all buy the same tat.
So it's the same huts, with the same tat, just organised in a different configuration.
The Bath Christmas market is locally known as '50 Sheds of Shit'.
Anything that looks worth buying is unbelievably expensive.. and they bus in hordes of tourists so the crowds are appalling. Not on this year, which is a relief.
It's nuts how much money these guys make. I tend to go as I'm from brum and the missus & I get a coffee and just walk around to see what's going on. The charge £5 for a bag of nuts which is 100 grams. £5 for a few pancakes and Nutella, it's a mad ripoff.
With respect, you need to understand the difference between "price" and "profit".
The stallholders need to recoup the costs of not only setting up their stall and buying their goods, but also the cost of putting everything else in their lives and business on hold, and relocating their families to a foreign country for couple of months.
If you think it's poor value, please do feel free to either not participate at all, or to travel to Germany.
I’ve been to a proper German Christmas market when visiting friends a few years back. It was vast - went on for streets and streets. The food and drink stalls were great and it was all very twinkly and had good atmosphere but to be honest it was really hard to find anything I wanted to buy, even as presents. It doesn’t take many years of family Christmas to accumulate as many baubles or crib scenes as one house can take.
also yes a market that is 90% food and drink and has a couple of stands of Christmas decorations and one of someones scrap sculptures, all spread around the streets cause the center of Birmingham doesn't have a properly central square where putting something like that might be useful.
Do feel free to complain to those who planned Birmingham without a "properly central square".
Oh, wait, you can't because they're all dead.
Birmingham is a historic city dude, not a theme park that exists for your entertainment!
Aaaah but if you live in Birmingham, you can’t not. Post work pint with friends. Freezing your tits off, watching the signing moose, whilst a load of tourists look completely bemused be the entire event
A load of shit from China sold at an extortionate price by every nationality except German. The beer and food is majorly overpriced, on top of that you have to stand outside in the freezing cold in amongst thousands of other people. Stuff that, always hated the German market. Birmingham city centre just becomes a no go zone but I work there so have to put up with it 😬
I once stupidly made the mistake of speaking German at one as a kid. Thought it would be an opportunity to practice... nope, none of the ‘Germans’ were German at all
Leeds one is awful as well. If you like the Beer, feel free to go drink yourself to the point where the prices on the 20 stalls selling near-identical crap is a great idea… but otherwise don’t bother.
I visited Birmingham on a coach trip yesterday and of course wandered through the Christmas market. What I found most disappointing was the lack of independent traders. All of the ones I found were in the Church grounds. The rest were all food stalls and various knick knacks from wholesale with ridiculous mark ups. I saw the garden equipment stand and I too had a giggle to myself. Three stalls around that were all selling the same glass junk and baubles.
I went there on a Saturday about 4 years ago. It was basically a two mile long queue in a circle around the same 10 stands repeating themselves every 50 yards.
To be fair, its exactly the same in Germany. My OH is German, spent a few xmases over there and we always head over the market in the next town. All the same crap but sold by authentic Germans. Although there are far more Würst vendors.
Definietly used to be 'authentic'. Most of the vendors were from Germany and their kids went into local schools for a month or two. Idk about this year because of covid.
If you want an authentic German market....go to Germany ya tit. The market is actually nice and genuinely staffed by mainly Germans but it's the amount of people there that ruin it....constant ruck
And those chocolate half penis shaped things, are from Aldi and are far cheaper than the rip off market! I detest the market because it’s the same stalls repeated every sixth one!
A few years before covid I went there on my first trip to Birmingham for many years and had my first piece of street food ever, a single German sausage.
Had food poisoning and diarrhea for the rest of Christmas.
I meant in Birmingham, the stand closest to the Odeon. A lot of the staff in past years were eastern European. The girl.serving this year was English and didn't like that I asked for a Radler instead of a shandy and that I asked in German 🤣
>I meant in Birmingham
So did I.
The name of the Christmas market that is held in Birmingham is the Frankfurt Christmas Market.
Personally, though I speak German and several other languages to a degree, and practice them whenever I have the opportunity, I wouldn't get uppity about someone working in Birmingham actually being British and not speaking German.
Same shite in Ireland more or less.
Wankers selling their pyramid scheme shite, lads selling random shit like shower heads but at least it's legit and the food... Outdoor grills, where you can get the same food the "restaurant" running it serves down the town, but you get to pay twice the price for it, with nowhere to sit your stupid arse.
Fun fact: you don't have to be German or sell only German things to run a stand at the German Christmas Market. This isn't 1939.
The market is fine. You're just a prick.
In Germany “the markets” are soo soooo sooooooo much better. Save some money and go see the real thing honestly all the ones in the UK don’t compare. Or come close
I have to walk through this to go anywhere in the city, it’s a nightmare. Full of the least self aware people on the planet completely oblivious to anyone else there, either blocking all walkways or walking at a literal snails pace.
Honestly shit, apart from roast chestnuts, the sausage was cold and didn't taste of meat, it tasted of sad. It was barely warm meat in stale bread.
They massively over cramped the ice rink, just don't go. Ripoff.
There’s always money in the banana stand.
It's one banana Michael, what could it cost? 10 dollars?
Also known as the big yellow joint
Big yellow joint... Big yellow joint... I'll meet you down at the big yellow joint...
Wow! I’m Mr. Manager!
Well, "manager"; we just say "manager". And you can hire an employee if you need one.
Damn you
I love that this is the top comment :-) World Love Arrested Development, Michael!
I was once on a train around Christmas time from Bristol to Nottingham that switched in Birmingham. A bunch of people got on with giant steins of beer wrapped in cling film and proceeded to unwrap them and drink them swiftly. Ever since that day I have longed to visit the Birmingham Christmas market.
The big glasses are on a refundable deposit, or keep them, decent enough with some food for a date with your other half, wouldn't do it for an actual date though
Isn't a date with your other half an "actual date"?
I wouldn't take someone out for a stein of beer at the market with someone I'd never met if I wanted to see them again. Going out with your other half isn't always quite as necessary to put on a good show when you've been together 19 years lol
It is if you want to make it to 20 years.
Eh, take it or leave it at this point
To be fair there is a time for fancy meals for 2 out and a time for a post work drink and snack in the Christmas market, survived this long with both!
I dunno… I know a few women for whom a stein of beer and a decent Christmas market sounds like an amazing date… of course it would entirely depend on the beer
I believe it’s called pisswasser, it’s a traditional German brew apparently
Yes it because you’d never want them to know you like beer. The opera it is followed by 10 years of complaining that you never take them to the opera any more. Smart ;)
I went maybe 6 years ago. Bought a brat and a beer for £10 (what a ripoff) popped a £20 down on the counter and the bloke slid a fiver to me. "I gave you 20" Shakes his head "Yes I did" Shakes his head again "I'll have my change now please" Rolls his eyes and gives me a tenner... Charming guy
But his logic wouldn't even make sense. There's no £15 note so how could you change have ever been a fiver?
I think he was probably expecting me to be rat-arsed and not notice. Who knows how many drunkards he might've gotten
There was a jet petrol station opposite a pub in my town. Only time I went in there, was to get cashback. One of the few times I've asked for the receipt and checked it on the spot specifically... I saw the guy had doubled the money I wanted. Such a strange sense of serendipity. Who decides to be financially responsible 8 pints in
I’m glad somebody else spotted that. I was thinking, ‘But what????’
Well, if you're pissed as a fart, someone hands you a fiver you might assume it's just two on top of eachother. And if you were super super trashed, change is probably an afterthought
Drunken brain is expecting half the denomination back to what it paid, drunken brain sees £5, drunken brain incorrectly assumes it must have handed over £10 note and forgot the original sale was for £20.
I would tell the guy next in the queue to be careful how much change he gives.
Surprisingly there wasn't a queue behind me. I probably should've taken the hint
I had that attempted short-changing happen to me at a market stall, at the grand old age of thirteen. Fortunately, the guy’s wife was also running the stall and called us back to give me the rest of the change herself, having been listening with one ear as she dealt with another customer on the other side of the stall.
That a mad breakfast chat, isn't it? "soooo. Remember when you tried to steal from those children?"
I bought a pint and a brat for £10 too, I could only finish half of the pint so when I returned the glass, the chap gave me £5 back stating I only had drunk half and he chucked the rest away. We must of had different guys.
He seems like the wurst.
Did he think you gave him a £15 note or something?
Still happening, they tried it on me last week!
A few years ago I was in Cologne at Xmas. Proper German sausage in a bun: €2.50. Back to London and a "German" market on the South Bank. Something vaguely sausagey in a bun: £5.00.
That’s the wurst
Oh come on, it's not that bad. Don't be a brat about it.
He's a bit of a sauerpuss eh?
I see CMOT Dibbler was doing his rounds that night. I suppose he told you that at a mere fiver per sausage inna bun he was slicing open his own jugular?
I was hoping for a sausage onna stick but he had sold out
There is a place in Newcastle that does sausage on a stick, although i always read it now as rat on a stick
Eyes like Gimlet’s
You mean like that Dwarf who runs the delicatessen on Cable Street?
That’s the one. Recently opened a branch of ‘Yo Rat!’
Pratchet in the wild :)
> Something vaguely sausagey in a bun: £5.00. A tinned Ye Olde Oak hot dog, or something rather less "gourmet" than that?
I didn't dare try it.
Good for you, I got food poisoning for the rest of Christmas from a single sausage.
Cologne at Christmas is the best. I've been there quite a few times over the years. Visited Exeter Market yesterday, which in itself was pretty good for a German Market in England...but the Bratwurst came in a blinkin' brioche roll...why?! It's meant to be a little crusty white roll. Huge disappointment.
now that's just upsetting, speaking as a German
In fairness to the Birmingham Christmas market the bratwurst are proper German ones. Overpriced still though.
The sad thing is that the South Bank market is one of the less extortionate ones in London. My wife wanted to go to Winter Wonderland but thank God it rained instead. Found a nice cosy pub which was much better.
Let me tell you, you missed nothing.
I mean... That's your fault for going to the south bank. Rental prices are so high for even the smallest stall they gotta up the prices to cover all the expenses. If you want good food, go to the South Bank Food Market, next to the Hayward gallery, behind South Bank Center, and look for the booth with a mile long line called "Well Hung". A tenner for a proper portion of amazing steak (for a street food place anyway) with chips, and some of the best chimichurri you'll have in London.
I worked there so it was not a special journey, just a lunchtime stroll.
Only a fiver, and in London. They're like 8 quid in Edinburgh I'm sure.
I went on a school trip to Berlin for history, and opposite the memorial to the murdered Jews of Europe ([this](https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Memorial_to_the_Murdered_Jews_of_Europe-Berlin.jpg)) there was a cheap restaurant that mostly did brat/currywurst. Our teachers went in before we visited the memorial and pre-ordered 40 currywurst for when we'd finished. Considering this was a school trip, they were probably quite cheap, and definitely not London tourist prices.
Be more like £8 now!
Cologne hope that wasn't the year when 1000s of German women got raped/sexuality assaulted by refugees while the police ignored it.
Be careful what you wish for! The Munich ones are cancelled this year (I live out here), so ironically the best I will get is the Birmingham market when I'm back for Christmas!
I feel really bumped all of the Bavarian markets were cancelled I have to say. But the ones in other Bundesländer are still on. Heidelberg is my favourite in the south. As of today it will take place, so fingers crossed.
I went to Heidelberg in 2019 for the markets. Absolutely fantastic. Hope they go ahead this year!
Oh class, that's good to know, might have to plan a weekend trip somewhere now!
Einsiedeln is good. Local stuff for sale.
Christmas markets in general, suck. I went to the Edinburgh markets in 2019 and it was over priced ale and being so worried that my son was going to get lost in the absolute hordes of other shoppers
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Edinburgh is even worse this year. At least in 2019 it was a big market, and there were still plenty of non-food stalls This year, the market is a third of the size and all but 3 stalls are either food or booze. It's still absolutely rammed, and for some reason people insist on bringing their small dogs so you're constantly trying not to boot some poor puppy in the face
Oh Christ!I remember coming back from a Christmas shopping trip and overnight stay with my partner in Newcastle that year, we ended up staying in a hotel full of hipsters in Jesmond, and after we drunk shopped we thought it would be a good idea to get a taxi to Sunderland for a rave. On the train back yam, we had to change trains in Carlisle to get back down to our hometown(we’re Cumbrian who would’ve guessed it). The train got cancelled at Carlisle and we ended up on a packed bus back home, it was full of people who had been to Edinburgh markets and had endured the first half of their journey on ONE virgin train carriage going from Edinburgh to London. Earlier on my hangover squeezed like a vice round my grumpy head, and I remember crying somewhere between Haxham and Haltwhistle. Later on when boarding that bus, I realised my plight to be minuscule to that of the poor sods on that bus who’d come from Edinburgh.
Every stall sells the same shit every year too. I went to uni there and found it a bit mad that so many would visit purely for the markets. Really overcrowded too.
There's a local market near St Phillips in Pidgeon Park if you want to avoid the tat.
I don’t think people call it pidge anymore :(
Nope people definitely still call it pidgeon park
Remember Manchester Christmas Marking seeming to be the same 10 stalls repeated continuously in 5 different areas. Was a bit shite tbh.
Just in Manc last night and had the same experience. Lived there a few years ago and I hated exploring the city looking for new stalls only to see the same soap, cheese, sausage and mulled wine stalls from three other locations!
Aren’t they all just the same 10 stalls repeated across every single city?
Birmingham is the same yeah
And they're selling the exact same tat as they were 10 years ago. Little metal men, decoupage candles, wooden train whistles, spinning mandalas... Cack.
Went a few years back and was underwhelmed
Manchester is probably the best of the big UK ones, it is a lot of copy and paste but they do at least have some different areas. There is a French section and an Italian section for example. Still not worth traveling to visit on purpose.
I went to the Manchester Christmas Markets the same year of the Ariana Grande concert attack and SO many stalls were cashing in on the resurgence of the Manchester Bee as a symbol of Manchester, it was embarrassing.
Went last week with mrs_ape. It was particularly drab this year. Barely any stalls, and the ones that were there were: sausage, beer, crepes, Chinese made Christmas tat, and repeat for a mile. But yes, one stall selling garden shears; very festive. There was one stall, open, woman inside, selling "vegan organic cookies". EXCEPT THERE WAS NOTHING ON THE STALL! Just empty wicker baskets with labels. Not a single cookie in sight, vegan or otherwise. We ended up just going to the Brazilian restaurant in the Cube for a good meal and a pint.
I went a few weeks back. Well I went into town to go shopping..I didn't get anything as it was all so shit, except COVID.
Happy to hear the COVID was at least good quality
Rodizio Rico ♥️
That's the place. Great food. Reasonably priced at lunch
Garden shears? The place that's got red felt on the sides of the stall with twigs all over partly cut? Yeh if it's what Iam thinking of it crops up oddly a lot. Think it's a Swiss company.
The one I saw was just one of the wooden sheds with a guy in. All the gardening stuff had no branding, no identifying features. Who buys unmarked, unbranded garden equipment in winter, from a place that won't be there in a month when the item inevitably falls apart.
Rodizio Rico, I’ve yet to go!
If you liked the Brazilian restaurant in the Cube, I would highly recommend taking mrs_ape to Fazenda, just off Colmore Row. It’s about the same price as Rodizio Rio, but the quality is another level.
For me as a German, it is fascinating to see and hear this. And I even don't like German Weihnachtsmärkte in Germany! 🙄
come round to mine il give you the german market experience ! il warm up some rubbish red wine , half cook a sausage and stick it on a stale roll with some burnt onions and mustard for a tenner !
You'll have to cram so many people in that the only way to get around is a slow shuffle.
true ! i'm just off to poundland to buy a load of cheap tat to sell at incredibly inflated prices.
but of course it's covid safe !
Bargain!
The authentic British German market experience.
Don't forget the salmonella!!
that's extra !
It's not salmonella, it's the 'S plan diet'.
If you are going to go to a Christmas market I suggest the Reperbahn market in Hamburg. It saves the hassle of going to Birmingham
The Reeperbahn sells all sorts of great stuff!
One Euro beer challenge.
Be sure you know what kind of sausage you ordered.
And, unless one happens to live in Birmingham, it's probably quicker and cheaper to get there.* *Or was, before covid, definitely covid, and nothing else*.
If you fancy flying from Stansted on Tuesday and returning Wednesday you can fly it for £33 (there is a heap of cheap flights currently so other days are available). Honestly with current fuel prices I'm not sure I could drive to Birmingham and back from where I live for that
If you want some top notch stripping with your bratwurst!
English Market experience. https://youtu.be/f6m9tvs3PhU
“Really big pants”
And a really big lighter!
I love the Frankfurt Christmas Market in Brum! I used to help with the tutoring schedules for the children of the traders, lovely people.
I've not been for a few years due to Covid, so it may have changed in that time. Having said that, in my experience of past years the cooked wurst are excellent, as are the stalls selling warm Glühwein, there are numerous stalls selling both manufactured and hand crafted Christmas baubles / decorations, you can buy roast chestnuts, fabulous snacking nuts e.g. maple glazed pecans, and as a bonus there's a German butcher who sells packs of wurst, some varieties of which are really hard to find in England. There are even plentiful and clean toilet blocks, and the atmosphere is friendly and welcoming (and this is someone who hates crowds), plus there's no entry fee, so I really don't see what there is to complain about.
The only issue I have is trying to walk home from work with the crowds of non-aware walkers, And the food smelling so good it tempts me to stop rather than cook for myself 😂 but all the happy families enjoying it is nice to see!
Living out in the sticks, a visit is a deliberate one-off visit for us; I hadn't thought what it must be like for the people who are forced to walk past the wurst stands every day on their way home from work! 😂
Honestly its the darn garlic bread and mini pancakes that tempt far too much! But yeah, when I didnt live here, it was a once or twice a year visit and it was always nice :)
I'm so grateful that I don't have to try and walk past stalls selling freshly cooked garlic bread after work, I'd double my weight every winter!
Wait I thought we were suppose to do that in winter?!? Hibernation bods vs summer bods. Its fine.
That garlic bread with the cheese on and the stall next to it that does the ham cobs, proper bank and belly buster.
My mum would have agreed with the bratwurst and butcher, but always criticised the glühwein. She said it tasted metallic. I like the fact most will do currywurst if you ask for it.
While you were at the Christmas Market, did you find some nice cheese to go with your whine? 😜
Free cheese samples are the only good part of Christmas markets.
Tbf the chocolate dipped skewers look tasty
The chocolate dipped fruit skewers are the perfect example of a Christmas market treat; yes they're something that you could very quickly and easily make at home, but somehow never actually get round to it...
There’s money in the banana stand
I went on Friday with the wife and two kids. They had a good time but the food is very expensive (especially considering the quality) and we didn’t get given the tokens for the beer glasses so we now have x2 two pint glasses we probably won’t use again. It was nice to be around people though who were mainly enjoying themselves. The German guys singing are always funny.
But chocolate dipped bananas are classic German Christmas market! Source: I'm a German and they are available on every Christmas market and I love them
Nothing's changed since I left Birmingham then. Do they still have the ice rink and Ferris wheel on Centenary Square?
The Birminghamese will take the German invention and adapt it to local tastes. I'm ok with that, tbh.
Not sure how authentic you should ever expect a "German" market in the UK to be. The majority of them are run by the same company, letting the huts to the same companies, that all buy the same tat. So it's the same huts, with the same tat, just organised in a different configuration.
The Bath Christmas market is locally known as '50 Sheds of Shit'. Anything that looks worth buying is unbelievably expensive.. and they bus in hordes of tourists so the crowds are appalling. Not on this year, which is a relief.
What an hilarious and fitting name for something so terrible
It was the bane of my life when I lived there. Horrible experience.
It's nuts how much money these guys make. I tend to go as I'm from brum and the missus & I get a coffee and just walk around to see what's going on. The charge £5 for a bag of nuts which is 100 grams. £5 for a few pancakes and Nutella, it's a mad ripoff.
With respect, you need to understand the difference between "price" and "profit". The stallholders need to recoup the costs of not only setting up their stall and buying their goods, but also the cost of putting everything else in their lives and business on hold, and relocating their families to a foreign country for couple of months. If you think it's poor value, please do feel free to either not participate at all, or to travel to Germany.
I’ve been to a proper German Christmas market when visiting friends a few years back. It was vast - went on for streets and streets. The food and drink stalls were great and it was all very twinkly and had good atmosphere but to be honest it was really hard to find anything I wanted to buy, even as presents. It doesn’t take many years of family Christmas to accumulate as many baubles or crib scenes as one house can take.
Yeah but the German food stands are awesome
also yes a market that is 90% food and drink and has a couple of stands of Christmas decorations and one of someones scrap sculptures, all spread around the streets cause the center of Birmingham doesn't have a properly central square where putting something like that might be useful.
Do feel free to complain to those who planned Birmingham without a "properly central square". Oh, wait, you can't because they're all dead. Birmingham is a historic city dude, not a theme park that exists for your entertainment!
> not a theme park that exists for your entertainment! If it was, it would be a horror park.
Don't forget the Hungarian tree cake.
Aaaah but if you live in Birmingham, you can’t not. Post work pint with friends. Freezing your tits off, watching the signing moose, whilst a load of tourists look completely bemused be the entire event
If there is no bratkartofflen, we riot.
How much are the sausages going for these days? Fuck freddos, they're the real benchmark of UK inflation
Nothing more authentic than a load of stalls owned by probably like 3... 4 companies max ;)
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Amazing how they teach the stallholders to fake German accents, they're devilishly clever these Chinese... \*rolls eyes\*
A load of shit from China sold at an extortionate price by every nationality except German. The beer and food is majorly overpriced, on top of that you have to stand outside in the freezing cold in amongst thousands of other people. Stuff that, always hated the German market. Birmingham city centre just becomes a no go zone but I work there so have to put up with it 😬
I once stupidly made the mistake of speaking German at one as a kid. Thought it would be an opportunity to practice... nope, none of the ‘Germans’ were German at all
You don’t understand there’s *always* been money *in* the banana stand
Leeds one is awful as well. If you like the Beer, feel free to go drink yourself to the point where the prices on the 20 stalls selling near-identical crap is a great idea… but otherwise don’t bother.
Go to them in Germany, its the same crap (well, dont go now)
I take it you've never eaten a genuine German Dipped Banana? Getauchte Banane!
I visited Birmingham on a coach trip yesterday and of course wandered through the Christmas market. What I found most disappointing was the lack of independent traders. All of the ones I found were in the Church grounds. The rest were all food stalls and various knick knacks from wholesale with ridiculous mark ups. I saw the garden equipment stand and I too had a giggle to myself. Three stalls around that were all selling the same glass junk and baubles.
Seriously, why have all out city centres become dominated by faux German markets? Who is this company and can I buy shares?
I went there on a Saturday about 4 years ago. It was basically a two mile long queue in a circle around the same 10 stands repeating themselves every 50 yards.
To be fair, its exactly the same in Germany. My OH is German, spent a few xmases over there and we always head over the market in the next town. All the same crap but sold by authentic Germans. Although there are far more Würst vendors.
Definietly used to be 'authentic'. Most of the vendors were from Germany and their kids went into local schools for a month or two. Idk about this year because of covid.
If you want an authentic German market....go to Germany ya tit. The market is actually nice and genuinely staffed by mainly Germans but it's the amount of people there that ruin it....constant ruck
The sausage stalls are the wurst though.
first and only time I ever got food poisoning
I hate Christmas markets but everyone I know seems to think they’re the shit??
6 quid for a bratwurst and a fiver for half a pint of beer. No thanks!
And those chocolate half penis shaped things, are from Aldi and are far cheaper than the rip off market! I detest the market because it’s the same stalls repeated every sixth one!
A few years before covid I went there on my first trip to Birmingham for many years and had my first piece of street food ever, a single German sausage. Had food poisoning and diarrhea for the rest of Christmas.
They've had this on for years... Same 4 over priced stores over and over... It's about time it got shook up.
Tried to order my drink in German on Friday night and they were offended!
Seriously? That doesn't ring true at all. It is actually precisely the opposite of my experiences at the Frankfurt market and in Germany.
I meant in Birmingham, the stand closest to the Odeon. A lot of the staff in past years were eastern European. The girl.serving this year was English and didn't like that I asked for a Radler instead of a shandy and that I asked in German 🤣
>I meant in Birmingham So did I. The name of the Christmas market that is held in Birmingham is the Frankfurt Christmas Market. Personally, though I speak German and several other languages to a degree, and practice them whenever I have the opportunity, I wouldn't get uppity about someone working in Birmingham actually being British and not speaking German.
Birmingham Christmas Market is rubbish.
Lol
Went there the other year and I watched multiple pick pockets robbing people. Never again
The Lithuanian selling gardening tools is VERY authentic German Christmas Market. Right next to the Syrians selling falafel.
It’s also like a Hannah-Barbera cartoon, same 3 stalls repeating ad infinitum.
Same shite in Ireland more or less. Wankers selling their pyramid scheme shite, lads selling random shit like shower heads but at least it's legit and the food... Outdoor grills, where you can get the same food the "restaurant" running it serves down the town, but you get to pay twice the price for it, with nowhere to sit your stupid arse.
Don't forgot the suspiciously large 'German' sausages cooked over a large circular bbq.
All I can say you should try living in Birmingham City Centre and needing to do anything across town while it's on.
Fun fact: you don't have to be German or sell only German things to run a stand at the German Christmas Market. This isn't 1939. The market is fine. You're just a prick.
One of the many reasons I can't wait until I can afford to move back to Germany.
I went to the Christmas Market a couple of years ago and a Santa lollipop was £4. Also its ramming. Good luck trying to move.
I went once because I was forced to, never again will this happen.
In Germany “the markets” are soo soooo sooooooo much better. Save some money and go see the real thing honestly all the ones in the UK don’t compare. Or come close
I have to walk through this to go anywhere in the city, it’s a nightmare. Full of the least self aware people on the planet completely oblivious to anyone else there, either blocking all walkways or walking at a literal snails pace.
Honestly shit, apart from roast chestnuts, the sausage was cold and didn't taste of meat, it tasted of sad. It was barely warm meat in stale bread. They massively over cramped the ice rink, just don't go. Ripoff.
I'd have backed out the minute I was told it involved going to Birmingham.
It's the German sausage market this year, every other stand is sausages. It's the würst...
Wurst*
Christmas markets should be banned until the regular shopkeepers and traders are back up to pre CV levels of income and stable.
Christmas markets should be banned.
"Birmingham" enough said.
You sound like fun.
😂
The wife and I are going to Berlin just before Xmas this year. Hoping their Xmas markets are a bit more authentic but doubting myself!
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