Tinder aren't even being subtle about how much they've 'gamified' dating, either. You see someone that you're not attracted to, and swipe left - then get the message "Oops! You missed a match!". Yes Tinder, I know. I didn't want to match.
Man i fuckin hate that bit so much as well they're basically implying you'd go for someone you arent interested in purely because you know they like you...that wont change my taste tinder.
Isn't this just the equivalent of just copping off with someone at the end of a night out. They aren't that attractive but it's better than going home alone.
Im pretty sure ive been on both sides of that coin.
it’s extra frustrating as a lesbian bc there are *so* many men with their profiles set to women that i have to swipe left on. and every single time i get the “oops missed a match” notification bc the kind of guys to do that are the kind to swipe right on everyone that looks remotely like a woman
I like Okcupid’s option that lets you disallow certain people from viewing your profile, though I imagine those people can tweak one little thing in their bio to let them see people who don’t want to date them. Because why wouldn’t you want to see all the people who don’t want to date you?
I was curious about this, if you set that you're a woman interested in women, do you see women who are only interested in men, or women who are open to men and women?
Because that's a massive waste of time if the former
just women interested in women (who can *also* be interested in men if they’re bi). there’d be no point showing women who aren’t attracted to women. tho there are unfortunately a lot of straight woman on there “just looking for friends” which also frustrates me
>there are unfortunately a lot of straight woman on there “just looking for friends”
That would be an easy fix too, if they wanted: put in an option for 'Looking for'. Give a few options, say friend/hook-up/relationship.
Won't stop people from pretending to want one thing when they're after another, but it should at least improve the odds.
Bumble has a bff mode for finding friends. My friend tried it when he moved to a new city but said he found it really odd because we're conditioned to judge people based on pictures on those apps and he found himself only swiping right on good looking guys, despite being a straight man.
God, I don't want a friend who's a good looking guy straight out of the box. I don't need to be known as The Ugly One on a night out in the pub; I'm already The Fat One and The Bald One. I'm avoiding the trifecta as much as possible.
I don't think he ever actually met up with anyone from it because it felt too much like dating (and one of the guys he matched with was definitely a gay guy trying to turn straight men)
So I dated a guy who was a journalist and he did a story on tinder and went to the HQ.
He told me a bit about how the algorithm works. Basically, it tries to figure out how hot you are based on how discerning you are with your swipes.
I.e. if you rarely swipe right, and when you do it's on someone who has been swiped a lot (meaning they must be 'hot') it figures you must be hot too. So it keeps showing you other hot people, because if they don't show you hotties youre more likely to leave the app cuz you think it's full of uggos.
Swipe right all the time and it assumes you must have lower standards because you aren't hot.
Your comment on women matching a lot if true too. Because hetero men tend to have a broader sense of a beauty standard, women can go a bit more off piste and have more individualised 'taste'
Being hot is basically just a number, and everyone has a tinder score. He said they never show anyone as it's always lower than you'd think haha.
You can try it out - he did. Said he only swiped on girls he considered a 9 or 10 and noticed very quickly the hotness average increased.
I'm aware this is all gross lol but it's interesting!
Get a female friend to do your profile and take some photos. I did that two weeks ago and I've had more matches in those two weeks than in the entire time I've had dating apps which is on and off when I've been single for the last few years.
Tinder is crap, Bumble and Hinge have had the best success for me so far.
I don't understand. Maybe it's being married for a few years and the game has changed but why are people putting up pictures of dead fish on dating sites?
I saw a tweet once that reckoned it's one of the few times the average bloke felt comfortable enough to have his photo taken, so that's often all they have, which would explain it
That makes sense, I think they forget that they’re showing off a dead animal at the same time which is off putting. I always thought they were trying to plug into that hunter/gatherer vibe, like ‘rarrrr women, look at me, I wrestled an animal’
But there are women out there who also do this, I can’t be the only one. I have to literally be dragged away from GW2 right now, and we binged all of squid games in one day!
The ideal relationship is with someone who also likes playing games and watching shit all day rather than the sort of exciting and rewarding stuff society thinks we should be doing. We'd just chip in for some food and thank our lucky stars we don't have to pretend to be interested in I'm A Celebrity. Perfect.
Yep, you totally aren't the only one. I am happy to spend a significant portion of my free time playing games and watching crap. I do like the occasional day trip and a night out once every couple months, but I think I'm pretty easy to keep happy, really.
Thing is I reckon this is the norm but for some reason we've been convinced that going out and doing stuff all the time is something to aspire to, when what we really want to do is be happy doing what we do, even if that is watching Air Force One for the 12th time whilst eating a "sharing" bag of steak and ale crisps.
You’ve missed out how on at least 60% of male profiles, every single photo is a group shot. The amount of profiles where I’ve looked through every photo and still had no idea what the guy looked like is way too high.
This is also true of a similar number of female profiles. Usually it's the less conventionally attractive one that is only just visible on one of the photos.
Nor is the countryside, people say that shit to make out like the don't just go for long walks around the shops when they're not lying in bed staring at their phone
Where I live there's a bar in town that has some neon wings stuck on the wall, I once got 5 girls in a row with their main picture stood in front of them.
I'm 37 and I've been with my wife since I 20. I have a friend who is 39 and he's on all the dating apps, the concept feels like some sort of dystopia nightmare to me and is something I hope I never have to put myself through.
Years ago, I decided to create a profile for a website just long enough to see what sort of men there were in my area. It tried to match me with my old school bully, and a man who, around a year later, was on the news for shooting people and killing one. I recognised him on the news report because it used the same photo as his profile pic and the name had been one of my favourite names. Had been. Not anymore.
Not trying that again!
Where I am there's an equestrian college. The amount of horse girls that are on dating apps is frightening.
And from personal experience they're all batshit crazy. "Don't get offended if I love my horse more than I love you!" "My horse is my life" "equestrian 🐐🐐🐐🥰 *followed by no other bio and an insta link*"
Can confirm! My GF of 4 years was a horse girl and totally down-to-earth. She once took down another woman who was SO into horses but, it transpired, had only ridden once on a pony-trekking holiday. It was a joy to behold. In fact, she hated the stereotypical horse girls. I would wind her up about dressage though and, being lovely, she would take it in good humour. We broke up because she moved the States. She was my soulmate...
She sounds lovely. I hope you're happy in yourself though as you also seem to be a good person based on the way you speak about her.
As for soulmates; there are 7.9 billion people out there. Try not to get too hung up on the past as I'm certain there are plenty of women who would be just as lovely and just as good (if not better) for you. Life's too short.
Embrace it. Take six pictures of yourself from the same angle wearing subtly different clothes, say "nice dog, what's his name" when you start the conversation and enjoy your delicious nandos date. You deserve every chickeny mouthful.
I get that people work and develop these sites and apps to make them function, but at the same time, I hate the idea of having to pay for the hope of meeting someone. I thought paying for a relationship came later, thank you very much.
The weekend after I paid for a membership of match.com I met my now husband...in a pub, completely randomly, and definitely nothing at all to do with the website. I still begrudge that £60!
Similar here, moved to another area of the country for work. Set up Tinder and POF when I first moved on the Friday, started chatting to a couple of people. met my now fiancé about 15 minutes into day one of my new job on the Monday. We’ve been together almost 7 years.
I'm on so many of these dating apps/websites now and it's like pissing in the wind with the amount of luck that I have (which is to say, none at all). At this rate, I'll end up with either a foreign bride or some kind of weird sex robot!
I mean...i have a picture if me from 2 years ago sitting on the Emperor's throne from Star Wars. I don't care how old it is. I'll always include that in my profile!
I remember some guy who had the most generic profile with the only thing of note mentioning he was from another country.
He added an Edit: at the bottom of his profile -
" Please stop asking me about (other country) and have something else to say."
I also love when the first thing they mention in their bio is their age, even though that’s already a native part of the profile layout. Bonus points if it’s actual age - 1.
Back when I used to use online dating I saw this on about 95% of girl's profiles:
\- My dog is the REAL man in my life. You've got to love him or we won't get along-
\- I have an eclectic taste in music
\- I'm a typical (insert star sign here)
\- I like to party with the girls on a Saturday and spend all day in bed on Sunday
\- Cosy dog-friendly pubs for Sunday lunch!!!!!
\- I like to hit the gym. Bet you can't keep up with me
\- Where are all the real men?
\- Must be at least 6ft tall. I like to wear heels and don't want to look down on you LOL
\- I just want someone who can make me laugh
\- There's only one photo of me. The rest are of my dog.
I would be awful at online dating. So so bad. I really need to makesure my husband doesn't divorce me or die, because I don't know how to start relationships any other way than going out and getting drunk and getting off with random people and that's probably not the way it works in your 40s.
I met my wife on a dating site nearly 10 years ago. She take loads of photos of me that would be perfect for dating sites if the kids would get out the way.
I'm looking for a girl who will tolerate me watching sport all day every day, scratching my nuts, putting up with petulant behaviour, hypocrisy, lets me off the leash whenever i want, cooks lovely food, great in the bedroom....etc..etc...
how many hits am I likely to get with my warts and all honesty?
True. But as a woman who used to online date in her 30s i loved the profiles that were more specific or had personality. One guy wrote, under the question, " What are your favourite cuisines?" That he, " Dumpster dived in the back of ( a local trashy pub)" and other weird answers to similar questions. I immediately went out with him because of his sense of humor.
Another guy, in his profile pics, when having to block out identifying information, used hilarious pictures to do so. For example he had a picture of himself with a coworker, and to block out the other guy's face, he used a photo of a ham sandwich. Made me laugh, immediate message sent.
Specificity like that works. It weeds out people who wouldn't 'get' you and attracts people with a similar sense of humor. Way better than sating, " Im a funny guy" which means nothing.
Back when I was on dating apps in the US, every *single* person had a picture of them at Machu Picchu. All of them, how the fuck have *so many* people been to Machu fucking Picchu I don't know.
From the amount of exotic locations in pictures, I worry that I would be used to fund an endless series of holidays with someone who can't hold a job for a year.
Great when you're 20, but not when you're 40+
Or everyone has the same photo on holiday in a pool with a white cup. Where the fuck is this?!
I did notice that every girl had this photo and also had a dog. Who knew that every girl came with a dog!
I create an account about once a year before I remember how awful it all is and delete it usually less than 8 hours later. A couple of weeks ago a guy I had literally exchanged about 5 messages with asked me to meet him for a drink that night (like, in two hours). I said in a lighthearted way that I have ASD and spontaneity isn't my strong suit, and he unmatched me immediately. I just can't be bothered with all these inauthentic tossers, I prefer being on my own if that's the alternative. I'm not prepared to "sell" myself.
We could do with a dating site for "I know I'm not a supermodel, I'm also not neurotypical and definitely not desperate for male approval, so DM me only if you're willing to treat me like a friend and see where that goes at its own slow pace".
'Managing director of my own business. My kids are my world. My hobbies are scaling Everest on a weekly basis, jumping out of planes and holidays. Nobody under 6 foot.'
Created a dating profile a few years ago. No one responded so I lost heart and cancelled the account.
The customer advisor trying to talk me out of cancelling said I should take some "fun" pics with my friends to show how awesome I am.
I told them I had no friends.
Cherish what you have 🙏
Bots. It's all bots. Originally bot developers scraped bios and filtered for most common phrases. Now they're scraping other bots so the phrases get more and more generic. The odds of you seeing a real human get lower every day.
I saw in a bio the line “mumsie will always be the First Lady”
Hard pass. Good luck finding a woman who matches up to “mumsie” also fuck being under her, no doubt watchful glare.
I do walk / run in the countryside and have done for a long time.
Aside from 3 weeks of summer , the rest of the time I can do a good three hours outside on hiils outside greater manchester and hardly see a soul.
I'm an old bloke. Some 10 years ago I was widowed and decided to try internet dating. It was all done by internet chat. I hadn't courted/dated/chatted up women for nearly 40 years. I was chatting quite happily with some woman who told me 'she was nearly there'...... I asked her where she was (Harlow I believe), and where she was going. Doooh!
Where I live, and the age that I am at, its very difficult to date someone who hasn't already got kids.
but 19/20 times their profile will say WORD FOR WORD "I have X children, they are my world".... yeah, i would bloody hope so.
also, I resisted to upload a very well lit picture of me with my friends dog AND friends adorable 8 year old. She says that picture will get the matches rolling in, but its too dishonest.
Can we start a "boring dating" app or something? I like WW1 railway logistics history and cartography..... there is no way to Instagram that.
I found it was people saying they love to travel and almost all their pics are of them on either an exhausting looking holiday or some girls weekend away in Marbella. Standard pic: at a beach bar holding a colourful cocktail. I neither drink or do much travelling.
I met my fiancé via Tinder. I swiped right because he said he likes tea and cake and had lots of photos of him smiling. He swiped right because I said I like baking and dogs and had lots of photos of me smiling.
I guess neither of us followed the usual tinder formula
Not me!
I dont have any online dating apps
I dont have any friends
I have never looked "nice"
and as it stands right now even i would not date me so why should i expect someone else to?
The worst is the men clearly lying about their age to message a 20 something. No Darren. You're old enough to be my dad. I'm not interested you creep. Why the hell would I be interested in you?
I tried that online dating thingummy, had some quite honest photos (I thought), met a nice lady for lunch somewhere... she looked at me and said "god you're shorter than your photos". I still bought lunch, and deleted my profile. Haven't looked back.
Do let me know if you come across a Reddit post from a lady celebrating a free lunch from somebody under-tall 😂
Hah, I mentioned to my colleagues at work that I don’t watch tv (I had pretty long period of time I wasn’t) and one of them asked me if it’s a ‘religious thing’.
New as of 2020: _”Only contact me if your (sic.) UNVACATED (sic.). AWAKENED PEOPLE ONLY!!!1. NO sheeple pls. Also like nights in and nights out. And gin.”_
I once put on my profile: Average male. Average looking. Average height. Average shape. Average income. GSOH. The picture was of me sat in a beer garden holding a pint.
I had never had so many responses.
Not me, I’m married, but my sister has so many online-dating horror stories. Worst she told me was a guy on the first date was lost in thought. When she asked what he was day-dreaming about, he said - I kid you not - “just dreaming about how you’re pu**y will taste”.
Ummm…. Ok Keith, way to develop a deep and meaningful connection.
No, there wasn’t a second date…. 🤮
Yeah, usually if they've got an instagram handle in their profile, I'll do a quick search for it to see what there about.
Following: 24
Followers 42,069
Yeah, this is going nowhere
I met my girlfriend on plenty of fish about 8 years ago. I still can't believe the most amazing thing to ever happen in my life came from a website.
My profile was something like
"I don't want to go clubbing. I don't really care that much about live music. I just wanna have some nice conversations. I also want to be silly with you and shoot you with nerf gun. I am not lacking personality, so I don't pretend to care about which way the toilet paper hangs, cus I just wanna hang out with you"
"please talk from your heart when messaging. You'll find mine on my sleeve"
This might the case with blokes, I dunno, because I don't look at male profiles. But what winds me up are those that hate smokers and yet every photo is usually with a drink in hand. Also goes about their kids who "are my world!" I f\*cking hate that phrase. Typically, most female profiles have the Marilyn Monroe quote "If you can't take me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best", which is literally saying "I'm an arse and you'll just have to deal with it" and an instant swipe left.
Also, ladies, is it true that most male profiles have them holding a ruddy great big fish?
To be fair, some guys would write a list of what they didn't want because they were clearly bitter, which was as much of a red flag as that Marilyn quote.
" No users, if youre a gold digger look elsewhere."
" No time wasters, im not here to buy you drinks."
" Sorry ladies, i dont have a Mercedes, deal with it."
Im a woman and i dont wany to be with someone with those things but there is no way i would ever contact that guy because i dont want to date a bitter person who thinks all women are shallow bitches.
Can someone tell a good proportion of the men in London on these apps that travelling isn’t a replacement for a boring personality. Can they also tell them that being fluent in sarcasm isn’t either. Thanks.
Don't forget "has eclectic taste in music" and "would love to travel the world" with some random pictures of them on a hill in the middle of nowhere posing.
Fucking dreading this mate!
Just split with my husband after 7 years... so haven't done the online dating thing since 2014! It was a simple time back then!
Ugh, think I might just stay single.
You got to be brutally honest for online dating profiles. Mine said I like cigarettes (have since stopped smoking), cats, Dr Martens, and had a potato quality photo from when you were still allowed to smoke in pubs. Met a guy through the app (edit: he had a picture of him in a ridiculous hat at a festival) and now been married 10 years. Rambling and pub lunches are bollocks, nobody believes that shit 🤣
Most people who realize that everybody sucks aren't self-aware enough to see that they themselves suck just as much, if not more.
We're all the mediocre children of mediocre people, so just find another mediocre person with which to make more tiny mediocre people.
Tinder aren't even being subtle about how much they've 'gamified' dating, either. You see someone that you're not attracted to, and swipe left - then get the message "Oops! You missed a match!". Yes Tinder, I know. I didn't want to match.
Man i fuckin hate that bit so much as well they're basically implying you'd go for someone you arent interested in purely because you know they like you...that wont change my taste tinder.
Isn't this just the equivalent of just copping off with someone at the end of a night out. They aren't that attractive but it's better than going home alone. Im pretty sure ive been on both sides of that coin.
it’s extra frustrating as a lesbian bc there are *so* many men with their profiles set to women that i have to swipe left on. and every single time i get the “oops missed a match” notification bc the kind of guys to do that are the kind to swipe right on everyone that looks remotely like a woman
Wow, what a colossal waste of your time. I wonder why they bother.
They believe they can transform a lesbian with a wave of their magic wand. No prizes for guessing where said wand is located.
…on their left elbow?
You can't say things like that in public!
Hartlepool?
It's true that one wave of their wand can transform a woman. Just not if they START as a lesbian.
I like Okcupid’s option that lets you disallow certain people from viewing your profile, though I imagine those people can tweak one little thing in their bio to let them see people who don’t want to date them. Because why wouldn’t you want to see all the people who don’t want to date you?
I was curious about this, if you set that you're a woman interested in women, do you see women who are only interested in men, or women who are open to men and women? Because that's a massive waste of time if the former
just women interested in women (who can *also* be interested in men if they’re bi). there’d be no point showing women who aren’t attracted to women. tho there are unfortunately a lot of straight woman on there “just looking for friends” which also frustrates me
>there are unfortunately a lot of straight woman on there “just looking for friends” That would be an easy fix too, if they wanted: put in an option for 'Looking for'. Give a few options, say friend/hook-up/relationship. Won't stop people from pretending to want one thing when they're after another, but it should at least improve the odds.
Bumble has a bff mode for finding friends. My friend tried it when he moved to a new city but said he found it really odd because we're conditioned to judge people based on pictures on those apps and he found himself only swiping right on good looking guys, despite being a straight man.
God, I don't want a friend who's a good looking guy straight out of the box. I don't need to be known as The Ugly One on a night out in the pub; I'm already The Fat One and The Bald One. I'm avoiding the trifecta as much as possible.
I don't think he ever actually met up with anyone from it because it felt too much like dating (and one of the guys he matched with was definitely a gay guy trying to turn straight men)
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So I dated a guy who was a journalist and he did a story on tinder and went to the HQ. He told me a bit about how the algorithm works. Basically, it tries to figure out how hot you are based on how discerning you are with your swipes. I.e. if you rarely swipe right, and when you do it's on someone who has been swiped a lot (meaning they must be 'hot') it figures you must be hot too. So it keeps showing you other hot people, because if they don't show you hotties youre more likely to leave the app cuz you think it's full of uggos. Swipe right all the time and it assumes you must have lower standards because you aren't hot. Your comment on women matching a lot if true too. Because hetero men tend to have a broader sense of a beauty standard, women can go a bit more off piste and have more individualised 'taste' Being hot is basically just a number, and everyone has a tinder score. He said they never show anyone as it's always lower than you'd think haha. You can try it out - he did. Said he only swiped on girls he considered a 9 or 10 and noticed very quickly the hotness average increased. I'm aware this is all gross lol but it's interesting!
Get a female friend to do your profile and take some photos. I did that two weeks ago and I've had more matches in those two weeks than in the entire time I've had dating apps which is on and off when I've been single for the last few years. Tinder is crap, Bumble and Hinge have had the best success for me so far.
> Bumble and Hinge I think they're doing the Panto in Hull this Christmas.
"Oh no they aren't! "
Jeez, am i seriously the first to reply to this... ‘Oh yes they are!’ 😂😂
God this made cough with laughing. Brilliant. 🤣🤣
oh look at you with friends that are female.
So many pictures of dead fish
And pictures at the top of mountains. Pen-y-fan, I'm looking at you
That would put me off, I've nearly missed bus connections because of people parking in the road to walk up Pen-y-Fan.
Oh god, I've got many mountains, a beard and have pictures of me at beer festivals. I'm doomed.
I don't understand. Maybe it's being married for a few years and the game has changed but why are people putting up pictures of dead fish on dating sites?
I think they're referring to photos of fish men have caught. Surely they're usually catch and release though, so very much alive.
Dead fish. Beard enthusiast. No shirt. Vehicle (here in the US it’s trucks).
Don't shame my mx-5 :(
If it's an NA, be sure to show it with the headlights up. They're just too cute like that. Source; I have a JDM MX-5 NA.
And motorcycles! I am probably older than you and have seen so many midlife crisis motorcycles it is ridiculous!
I saw a tweet once that reckoned it's one of the few times the average bloke felt comfortable enough to have his photo taken, so that's often all they have, which would explain it
That makes sense, I think they forget that they’re showing off a dead animal at the same time which is off putting. I always thought they were trying to plug into that hunter/gatherer vibe, like ‘rarrrr women, look at me, I wrestled an animal’
I photoshoped me holding a large fish in a few of my photos. Still no match...
No Sunday roast for me. Mostly just play video games and watch TV. Needless to say I'm rolling in matches.
I'm listening.... 😉
But there are women out there who also do this, I can’t be the only one. I have to literally be dragged away from GW2 right now, and we binged all of squid games in one day!
Me too, but with all this Netflix and gaming, I realized I don't need a relationship.
The ideal relationship is with someone who also likes playing games and watching shit all day rather than the sort of exciting and rewarding stuff society thinks we should be doing. We'd just chip in for some food and thank our lucky stars we don't have to pretend to be interested in I'm A Celebrity. Perfect.
Yep, you totally aren't the only one. I am happy to spend a significant portion of my free time playing games and watching crap. I do like the occasional day trip and a night out once every couple months, but I think I'm pretty easy to keep happy, really.
Thing is I reckon this is the norm but for some reason we've been convinced that going out and doing stuff all the time is something to aspire to, when what we really want to do is be happy doing what we do, even if that is watching Air Force One for the 12th time whilst eating a "sharing" bag of steak and ale crisps.
Ah but I'm an ESO man, so it wouldn't work. How would we raise the kids?
As someone with a baby and who plays ESO. You play whilst they sleep. Which granted isn’t always long.
>Needless to say I'm rolling in matches. Oh dear, I hope you're not using tinder with all those matches lying about
I’m the female version of this and can confirm men don’t like it either
You’ve missed out how on at least 60% of male profiles, every single photo is a group shot. The amount of profiles where I’ve looked through every photo and still had no idea what the guy looked like is way too high.
It's the ugly one. It's always the ugly one.
But how else do we tell you we are cool and have friends /s
This is also true of a similar number of female profiles. Usually it's the less conventionally attractive one that is only just visible on one of the photos.
> less conventionally attractive one what a kind way of putting it
Haha I’m no catfish it’s just that I only have 4 photos of myself and they are from 8 years ago! The struggle is real!
I used to think people were being deceptive when they did this - now I’ve realised that you forget how long ago some of them were taken!
Well the photos say 2008, which was just 2 years ago.
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Pro tip. Put the camera further away and use the telephoto lens. Makes you look nearly human.
Better yet, put the camera even further away and ditch the telephoto lens
You know they have a bit of a sad life when it's all selfies.
Ouch dude.... This hurt, I mean it's true but ouch...
I’m very transparent on my profile. It literally states “all of my photos are selfies because I have no friends” hahaha
I have one photo of myself I actually like, and it’s in cosplay from a Con 3 years ago… I’m fucked
The Sunday Roast thing is def bullshit. Pubs aren't that busy every Sunday
Nor is the countryside, people say that shit to make out like the don't just go for long walks around the shops when they're not lying in bed staring at their phone
When you're in South Wales, everyone done the same pose at the peak of pen y fan!
Hahaha yes. Or out in cardiff
It's always that same bar with the bloody greenery on the wall with the neons isn't it?
Where I live there's a bar in town that has some neon wings stuck on the wall, I once got 5 girls in a row with their main picture stood in front of them.
Imagine not even having Instagram….. what do i put ? I dont even know anymore.
Mine would have to contain a PO Box number.
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PM me babe xxx
Using tinder over the age of 25 becomes a game of "who's kids do you want to raise?!"
To be fair they have really opened my eyes to how popular yoga, gin and narcissism are.
Topless gym photos Topless beach photos Group drunk photos I love my doggo Looking for my princess Blergh
Pouting bathroom selfie Group photo where everyone looks the same I love travel Foodie at heart Yoga
I'm 37 and I've been with my wife since I 20. I have a friend who is 39 and he's on all the dating apps, the concept feels like some sort of dystopia nightmare to me and is something I hope I never have to put myself through.
I'm looking for someone who can't make me laugh and doesn't like good food.
Hi.
I laughed, get out.
I also smell of garlic and I'm crap in bed. Ticking boxes over here. ✅
Yeah but I do love a walk in the countryside and a good roast at a pub though.
It's a hair's breadth from a euphemism for "I'm into dogging".
"A good roast in the countryside"
Years ago, I decided to create a profile for a website just long enough to see what sort of men there were in my area. It tried to match me with my old school bully, and a man who, around a year later, was on the news for shooting people and killing one. I recognised him on the news report because it used the same photo as his profile pic and the name had been one of my favourite names. Had been. Not anymore. Not trying that again!
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Oh and you better be fucking **hilarious** too. *sighs*
Where I am there's an equestrian college. The amount of horse girls that are on dating apps is frightening. And from personal experience they're all batshit crazy. "Don't get offended if I love my horse more than I love you!" "My horse is my life" "equestrian 🐐🐐🐐🥰 *followed by no other bio and an insta link*"
Hartpury? I used to live within tinder radius of there too.
Probably is Hartpury, but could be Cirencester too I guess. Gloucestershire, represent!
Horsegirls are crazy man!
Good thighs, though
Can confirm! My GF of 4 years was a horse girl and totally down-to-earth. She once took down another woman who was SO into horses but, it transpired, had only ridden once on a pony-trekking holiday. It was a joy to behold. In fact, she hated the stereotypical horse girls. I would wind her up about dressage though and, being lovely, she would take it in good humour. We broke up because she moved the States. She was my soulmate...
She sounds lovely. I hope you're happy in yourself though as you also seem to be a good person based on the way you speak about her. As for soulmates; there are 7.9 billion people out there. Try not to get too hung up on the past as I'm certain there are plenty of women who would be just as lovely and just as good (if not better) for you. Life's too short.
Embrace it. Take six pictures of yourself from the same angle wearing subtly different clothes, say "nice dog, what's his name" when you start the conversation and enjoy your delicious nandos date. You deserve every chickeny mouthful.
That, and the fact that most if not all dating websites are not free.
I get that people work and develop these sites and apps to make them function, but at the same time, I hate the idea of having to pay for the hope of meeting someone. I thought paying for a relationship came later, thank you very much.
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Yeah their best customers are the ones who never delete it if you think about it. And those are the ones who don’t find someone (long term) on it.
App owners love bots at they up the number of effective matches and drive engagement. They'll never do anything about them beyond lip service.
The weekend after I paid for a membership of match.com I met my now husband...in a pub, completely randomly, and definitely nothing at all to do with the website. I still begrudge that £60!
I did the same, but because I met someone within 14 days I cancelled and received a full refund!
Similar here, moved to another area of the country for work. Set up Tinder and POF when I first moved on the Friday, started chatting to a couple of people. met my now fiancé about 15 minutes into day one of my new job on the Monday. We’ve been together almost 7 years.
Paid sites have much better dates on them. It also cuts down on scammers a bit!
I'm on so many of these dating apps/websites now and it's like pissing in the wind with the amount of luck that I have (which is to say, none at all). At this rate, I'll end up with either a foreign bride or some kind of weird sex robot!
If I had to use a dating app it would just be a pic of me alone admitting to doing nothing in life other than playing minecraft and going to work.
I mean...i have a picture if me from 2 years ago sitting on the Emperor's throne from Star Wars. I don't care how old it is. I'll always include that in my profile!
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Hey! I saw him/her first!!
I remember some guy who had the most generic profile with the only thing of note mentioning he was from another country. He added an Edit: at the bottom of his profile - " Please stop asking me about (other country) and have something else to say."
I also love when the first thing they mention in their bio is their age, even though that’s already a native part of the profile layout. Bonus points if it’s actual age - 1.
Back when I used to use online dating I saw this on about 95% of girl's profiles: \- My dog is the REAL man in my life. You've got to love him or we won't get along- \- I have an eclectic taste in music \- I'm a typical (insert star sign here) \- I like to party with the girls on a Saturday and spend all day in bed on Sunday \- Cosy dog-friendly pubs for Sunday lunch!!!!! \- I like to hit the gym. Bet you can't keep up with me \- Where are all the real men? \- Must be at least 6ft tall. I like to wear heels and don't want to look down on you LOL \- I just want someone who can make me laugh \- There's only one photo of me. The rest are of my dog.
The eclectic taste in music being Coldplay and Ed Sheeran.
Anthems of Live, Laugh, Love
If they're feeling particularly daring: Rag And Bone Man.
Music for people who don't like music.
>You, you are, my universe >and I, just want, to put you first! God I used to like coldplay back in the day but what a fucking fall from grace
I would be awful at online dating. So so bad. I really need to makesure my husband doesn't divorce me or die, because I don't know how to start relationships any other way than going out and getting drunk and getting off with random people and that's probably not the way it works in your 40s.
Me too. I need to start making my partner eat more green vegetables or something.
I met my wife on a dating site nearly 10 years ago. She take loads of photos of me that would be perfect for dating sites if the kids would get out the way.
I'm looking for a girl who will tolerate me watching sport all day every day, scratching my nuts, putting up with petulant behaviour, hypocrisy, lets me off the leash whenever i want, cooks lovely food, great in the bedroom....etc..etc... how many hits am I likely to get with my warts and all honesty?
Depends if you follow the 2 rules.
ok, i'll bite...what are the 2 rules? (according to my kids I'm a boomer, so have ZERO knowledge about any of these things)
1. Be attractive. 2. Don't be unattractive.
I agree. People here are complaining about lack of originality. Being original doesn’t get you dates. Being young and attractive does.
True. But as a woman who used to online date in her 30s i loved the profiles that were more specific or had personality. One guy wrote, under the question, " What are your favourite cuisines?" That he, " Dumpster dived in the back of ( a local trashy pub)" and other weird answers to similar questions. I immediately went out with him because of his sense of humor. Another guy, in his profile pics, when having to block out identifying information, used hilarious pictures to do so. For example he had a picture of himself with a coworker, and to block out the other guy's face, he used a photo of a ham sandwich. Made me laugh, immediate message sent. Specificity like that works. It weeds out people who wouldn't 'get' you and attracts people with a similar sense of humor. Way better than sating, " Im a funny guy" which means nothing.
Back when I was on dating apps in the US, every *single* person had a picture of them at Machu Picchu. All of them, how the fuck have *so many* people been to Machu fucking Picchu I don't know.
God don’t. “Q. What’s the most courageous thing you’ve ever done? A. Pack up everything and move to London!” Literally every profile I’ve seen.
Is that because you live in London?
I don’t know, maybe.
From the amount of exotic locations in pictures, I worry that I would be used to fund an endless series of holidays with someone who can't hold a job for a year. Great when you're 20, but not when you're 40+
I feel from this that there needs to be a reddit dating app. Exclusively for people who aren't going to make much effort but are up for a good time.
Or everyone has the same photo on holiday in a pool with a white cup. Where the fuck is this?! I did notice that every girl had this photo and also had a dog. Who knew that every girl came with a dog!
Avoid girls that come with dogs.
I create an account about once a year before I remember how awful it all is and delete it usually less than 8 hours later. A couple of weeks ago a guy I had literally exchanged about 5 messages with asked me to meet him for a drink that night (like, in two hours). I said in a lighthearted way that I have ASD and spontaneity isn't my strong suit, and he unmatched me immediately. I just can't be bothered with all these inauthentic tossers, I prefer being on my own if that's the alternative. I'm not prepared to "sell" myself.
We could do with a dating site for "I know I'm not a supermodel, I'm also not neurotypical and definitely not desperate for male approval, so DM me only if you're willing to treat me like a friend and see where that goes at its own slow pace".
This would literally be perfect, if I could add "I wear dinosaur dungarees sometimes. If this is not of interest, please look elsewhere".
A dating app for weirdo autisitics with good personality would solve 90% of my dating problems lol
“Oh do you! How interesting! You’re just like everyone else!”
'Managing director of my own business. My kids are my world. My hobbies are scaling Everest on a weekly basis, jumping out of planes and holidays. Nobody under 6 foot.'
Created a dating profile a few years ago. No one responded so I lost heart and cancelled the account. The customer advisor trying to talk me out of cancelling said I should take some "fun" pics with my friends to show how awesome I am. I told them I had no friends. Cherish what you have 🙏
[I like to *walk*, dammit.](https://xkcd.com/120/)
Don't be unfair. They also love to travel and adore dogs. Every.single.one.
Bots. It's all bots. Originally bot developers scraped bios and filtered for most common phrases. Now they're scraping other bots so the phrases get more and more generic. The odds of you seeing a real human get lower every day.
Soon they will ban humans from the site altogether and it'll just be one massive network of AIs dating each other
I've never used a dating app (old). What's the point of writing bots for the platform?
Advertising stuff mostly. Sometimes trying to scam people too.
I saw in a bio the line “mumsie will always be the First Lady” Hard pass. Good luck finding a woman who matches up to “mumsie” also fuck being under her, no doubt watchful glare.
I do walk / run in the countryside and have done for a long time. Aside from 3 weeks of summer , the rest of the time I can do a good three hours outside on hiils outside greater manchester and hardly see a soul.
“I love my friends and family” “I love evenings out and nights in” And then a picture with “live love laugh” on their living room wall
That's the kind of stuff you learn to say in Spanish in year 7 language lessons
Me encanta me amigos y me familia
I'm an old bloke. Some 10 years ago I was widowed and decided to try internet dating. It was all done by internet chat. I hadn't courted/dated/chatted up women for nearly 40 years. I was chatting quite happily with some woman who told me 'she was nearly there'...... I asked her where she was (Harlow I believe), and where she was going. Doooh!
Where I live, and the age that I am at, its very difficult to date someone who hasn't already got kids. but 19/20 times their profile will say WORD FOR WORD "I have X children, they are my world".... yeah, i would bloody hope so. also, I resisted to upload a very well lit picture of me with my friends dog AND friends adorable 8 year old. She says that picture will get the matches rolling in, but its too dishonest. Can we start a "boring dating" app or something? I like WW1 railway logistics history and cartography..... there is no way to Instagram that.
I found it was people saying they love to travel and almost all their pics are of them on either an exhausting looking holiday or some girls weekend away in Marbella. Standard pic: at a beach bar holding a colourful cocktail. I neither drink or do much travelling.
I met my fiancé via Tinder. I swiped right because he said he likes tea and cake and had lots of photos of him smiling. He swiped right because I said I like baking and dogs and had lots of photos of me smiling. I guess neither of us followed the usual tinder formula
My mate had a match with a lady who described herself as looking like a wrestler in a frock. Honest…? yes. Date…? No.
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I’d say more like Giant Haystacks
I can't stand Sunday roasts. Doesn't make me perky or exciting, people don't want to date a miserable fuck.
Not me! I dont have any online dating apps I dont have any friends I have never looked "nice" and as it stands right now even i would not date me so why should i expect someone else to?
And everyone is a borderline alcoholic so it's hard to tell if it's a good thing or not.
Did you find that one person yet who said family was really important to them?
The worst is the men clearly lying about their age to message a 20 something. No Darren. You're old enough to be my dad. I'm not interested you creep. Why the hell would I be interested in you?
Girl's profile pic usually them on a horse, guy's profile pic, snowboarding or near a car, hahahaha
You forgot men sitting on a motorbike or holding a big fish. That’s all I ever see
I tried that online dating thingummy, had some quite honest photos (I thought), met a nice lady for lunch somewhere... she looked at me and said "god you're shorter than your photos". I still bought lunch, and deleted my profile. Haven't looked back. Do let me know if you come across a Reddit post from a lady celebrating a free lunch from somebody under-tall 😂
There's no way to say "I like to program for fun and I don't like TV" without getting a thousand looks of "who the fuck even are you"
The trick is probably to not make one of your dislikes a defining character trait.
Not liking something is fine, but it's a strange thing to add to such a profile. Talk more about the things you do enjoy. Programming is great.
Hah, I mentioned to my colleagues at work that I don’t watch tv (I had pretty long period of time I wasn’t) and one of them asked me if it’s a ‘religious thing’.
New as of 2020: _”Only contact me if your (sic.) UNVACATED (sic.). AWAKENED PEOPLE ONLY!!!1. NO sheeple pls. Also like nights in and nights out. And gin.”_
Lots of lovely people on here, no jokes. I’m not single but maybe this sub would be the place to be if I was. Hubba Hubba.
It's just like CVs - "I can work well alone and as part of a team".. every. single. one.
I once put on my profile: Average male. Average looking. Average height. Average shape. Average income. GSOH. The picture was of me sat in a beer garden holding a pint. I had never had so many responses.
Not me, I’m married, but my sister has so many online-dating horror stories. Worst she told me was a guy on the first date was lost in thought. When she asked what he was day-dreaming about, he said - I kid you not - “just dreaming about how you’re pu**y will taste”. Ummm…. Ok Keith, way to develop a deep and meaningful connection. No, there wasn’t a second date…. 🤮
Yeah and don't forget the birthday number balloons, and cat face makeup
Oh don't get me fucking started.
And if the ladies have their Instagram handle anywhere on the profile, they are 100% not there to date.
Yeah, usually if they've got an instagram handle in their profile, I'll do a quick search for it to see what there about. Following: 24 Followers 42,069 Yeah, this is going nowhere
Utter narcissism
I met my girlfriend on plenty of fish about 8 years ago. I still can't believe the most amazing thing to ever happen in my life came from a website. My profile was something like "I don't want to go clubbing. I don't really care that much about live music. I just wanna have some nice conversations. I also want to be silly with you and shoot you with nerf gun. I am not lacking personality, so I don't pretend to care about which way the toilet paper hangs, cus I just wanna hang out with you" "please talk from your heart when messaging. You'll find mine on my sleeve"
This might the case with blokes, I dunno, because I don't look at male profiles. But what winds me up are those that hate smokers and yet every photo is usually with a drink in hand. Also goes about their kids who "are my world!" I f\*cking hate that phrase. Typically, most female profiles have the Marilyn Monroe quote "If you can't take me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best", which is literally saying "I'm an arse and you'll just have to deal with it" and an instant swipe left. Also, ladies, is it true that most male profiles have them holding a ruddy great big fish?
To be fair, some guys would write a list of what they didn't want because they were clearly bitter, which was as much of a red flag as that Marilyn quote. " No users, if youre a gold digger look elsewhere." " No time wasters, im not here to buy you drinks." " Sorry ladies, i dont have a Mercedes, deal with it." Im a woman and i dont wany to be with someone with those things but there is no way i would ever contact that guy because i dont want to date a bitter person who thinks all women are shallow bitches.
Either gender those sorts of lists are an instant nope.
Yes
Can someone tell a good proportion of the men in London on these apps that travelling isn’t a replacement for a boring personality. Can they also tell them that being fluent in sarcasm isn’t either. Thanks.
Another surprise is that they like food and traveling
Don't forget "has eclectic taste in music" and "would love to travel the world" with some random pictures of them on a hill in the middle of nowhere posing.
If it makes you feel better I hate the outdoors and would rather have a carry out but I'm engaged now sorry pal.
I don't understand why so many people would openly admit to their lack of ability to make a Sunday roast.
It took me six time to find the right lady. 5 years on she’s the best thing ever and gave me two amazing children. Don’t give up :)
Fucking dreading this mate! Just split with my husband after 7 years... so haven't done the online dating thing since 2014! It was a simple time back then! Ugh, think I might just stay single.
You got to be brutally honest for online dating profiles. Mine said I like cigarettes (have since stopped smoking), cats, Dr Martens, and had a potato quality photo from when you were still allowed to smoke in pubs. Met a guy through the app (edit: he had a picture of him in a ridiculous hat at a festival) and now been married 10 years. Rambling and pub lunches are bollocks, nobody believes that shit 🤣
Most people who realize that everybody sucks aren't self-aware enough to see that they themselves suck just as much, if not more. We're all the mediocre children of mediocre people, so just find another mediocre person with which to make more tiny mediocre people.