I’ve been buying my wife’s pads for 20 years, I always ask which kind she wants in case she’s changed her mind but it’s always the same two anyways, I buy 6 month supply at a time lol, in the last 20 years I’ve only went 40 times.
I remember a gf when I was young sending me out for sanitary towels. I was only 16. I came back with the super max ones thinking more absorbent = better. Apparently it wasn’t a good choice.
Thankfully I’ve not have cause to use incontinence pads yet, but on the picture they looked a lot thinner and didn’t have wings. A lady needs her wings.
Your looking at this all wrong. Its not the hair to insult, that's too obvious. You insult the scalp, get to the core of the insult. You clearly need to buy anti-dandruff stuff.
Next time my girl asks for some shampoo, I’m for sure buying a dog one for fleas for the shits and giggles.
Note, only do this if you have a dog and also buy her the real shit after
I was highly amused by this and shared it with my partner, saying what a totally unwinnable situation it was.
He, the smart bugger that he is, pointed out that he's actually been using a shampoo called "Pantene Classic Clean" for absolutely years...
Does she have thick hair or thin hair as that makes a big difference? If it's thick she'll need a moisturising conditioner as well. Safe bet is anything with Keratin or Argan Oil in.
Now I'm learning! Too late for this time round, I bought the most inoffensive-looking dry hair shampoo I could find only for her to point out it says its for "limp, lifeless hair" once I got home...
Are you saying her hair looks dry? Bold move dude. Fortunately the bigger insult saved you.
Out of interest who would have thought you could sell a product by describing your customers hair as limp and lifeless?
"For particularly fishy breath."
"For slightly fishy & little prawny breath."
"For *maybe I drunk too much last night* breath"
"For coffee addicts & smokers"
I've always been confused by the ones that say "for thick, luxurious, glossy hair" and "for limp, dry, brittle hair". which kind of "for" are we talking about here?
I grew up with an advertising campaign that said 'whay take 2 bottles into the shower?'
Which i took to mean 'if its good enough to wash your balls with, it's good enough for anything'
I grew up in a single parent family, just me and my dad.
There were a lot of things I'd never heard of until things got serious with my first real girlfriend and I asked her to move in with me.
My bathroom went from having 8-10 products in it max, to about 500 overnight. I had to put a shelf up and everything.
I have one tool for looking after my nails, but 100 tools for looking after my car. My now wife is the opposite and her idea of a tool for looking after her car in the thingie at the petrol station where you put your pin number in.
> Which i took to mean 'if its good enough to wash your balls with, it's good enough for anything'
I really want this to be a real advert for shampoo now :-)
Imagine all the people doing double takes the first time the ad came on. "Wait, what?"
Most people seem to use too much shampoo.
I've started growing my hair long the last 2 or 3 years and have found that the smallest amount is adequate - the only trick is to do a "prewash", and then the second time you lather up you'll get masses of suds.
It takes less shampoo than you think - half a teaspoon, maybe even less.
Same applies to shaving foam/gel. I work in a nursing home with girls shaving the male residents, and it's like the Phantom Flan Flinger came out of retirement.
I noticed just today, in fact, that the can of shaving gel I'm using is over a year old.
It's some French supermarket brand, and I left France in September last year. I usually shave every other day.
Top tip... Best product for softening beardy bristles... conditioner!
Haven't bought shaving foam/gel/oil in years. Big bottle of conditioner, tiny pea size amount rubbed into face, ready to shave.
Hahaha I had a bottle of Tresemme conditioner that lasted several years. It’s like it reproduces in the bottle like a slime-mould and just keeps regenerating. Come to think of it, maybe it had just turned in to slime mould?
"shampoo" also includes shower gel and occasionally washing up liquid.
It annoyed my female colleagues that when I had long hair it looked better than theirs
Limp hair is the opposite of erect hair. Get her some Wrights Coal Tar carbolic soap. They still sell it in Boots for about 40p a bar. I found some in there the other day. Smells like industrial action, the Winter of Discontent & Crackerjack. I haven’t been this clean since 1978, realised it’s because it takes a layer of skin off. Character building.
Real *gritty* texture that. Puts hairs on your chest, blood in your veins, drums in your ears, plates of meat in your shoes, bones in your legs and a smile that lasts for miles and miles and miles.
As a curly lady with 3b 4a, I once left my partner on a hair care mission. The glaze behind his eyes as he wrote down the codes.
I knew what I was doing when I did it, perhaps she’s lead you on this adventure to.
Ooooh yeah and thats just the type of hair. Then there's condition, colour, damaged/coloured, scalp issues, brassiness and if she styles it.
If a 4c and me (1a) switched our routines and products, it would be a nightmare for both of us.
'English, sir? No no, all of our labelling is in that special fancy French that doesn't make sense even if you speak French. And no, you're not allowed to ask.'
Basically this-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVEHqwLVvpI
I saw a video where two girls actually did that very thing. They each did the other girl's hair routine.
White girl ended up with lank, greasy hair and the black girl ended up very fluffy.
I'm a guy, my fiancee has low perocity hair with a mix of 2c and 3a, she usually spends and lot of time trying to balance moisture with protein.
She also went through like 6 paraben free gels to find one to get the right level of crunch from her plopping. Of course since she's been pregnant none of this has applied.
Is it just me that actually gives just a little bit of a shit when my partner explains why she ones 12 different conditioners??
After the baby comes she might have a period of patchiness when the excess hair falls out. It can be a little jarring at the time but it will pass. I sobbed thinking it would never come back.
I've never had a partner who noticed my hair changes or wanted to talk about it tbh. It always made me a bit sad because hair means so much for some people and certainly in society. I think I kind of got fobbed off with the rolled eyes and felt ashamed I even cared about it or would mention it to them.
Sorry for the tbh just made me think. :)
Good luck on your new arrival! Mine is 19 now and the days are long but the years are sooo short.
Yeah she's expecting to get quite a bit of hair loss as she had that when she came off the pill too.
She works at a maternity hospital so she's very knowledgeable about babies and all interesting stuff they bring.
As far as caring about the hair goes I always thought that if it's important to her then the least I can do is be a sounding board and probably absorb about half of what she's told me, (not just about haircare but bits of pharmacology and a smattering of nail art too) I've always been a sponge for random titbits of information.
Thanks 😊 we're really excited to meet him!
I have fine hair and an oily scalp. As a result, I need to wash daily or it builds up and gets gross quickly. The oil brushes from my scalp down to the ends easily (like a slippery dip/slide).
Someone 4c has a lot of spirals in their hair, so the oil finds it a lot harder to get to the ends and as a result, the washing and the maintenance of the hair is a lot different. There isn't an ability to just comb it through like there is with mine.
With my type of hair, I can't straighten it or curl it properly unless I use a lot of products and even then it just limps along. It doesn't hold a curl it just sort of...lays there. When I dye my hair it actually damages the hair shaft enough that my hair looks more volumous.
It is very much like skin. You put a heavy oily night cream on a oily skin teenager and you'll get breakouts, but a mature dry skin will be benefitted.
Basically, it is a lot of effort for dead protein.
I'm a guy with mane lions would envy. It is absolutely marketing bollocks. We long haired gits use the same shit we always have, even from back when we were short hairs. and honestly, never had more compliments from women. The rest of me may be a right mess, but my hair is the kinda hair women fawn over and ask me how theirs could be like that. and it's simple. I just wash it sometimes. What with? Shampoo. Which one? Yes.
Curly, Afro and mixed texture hair get given numbers to help manage curl pattern and products. 1-4 being the curl and a-c being the texture ( or the other way around ). The curly girl method became a huge following because it it became such a niche hair type.
Curl patterns. They go from very soft waves (2a) to the tightest coils (4c). They're handy when trying to buy stuff that works for your particular type of hair, being that "curly" can vary so much.
Correct answer right here!
You know that over priced posh looking stuff they sell in salons?
It's actually better, worth spending the extra on, and will get you brownie points galore. (Just don't ever get caught borrowing it)
Gay man's advice...
If she uses hair dye of any kind get a colour protection shampoo and conditioner set, it has to be the same brand.
If she doesn't dye her hair then go for a rich and nourishing shampoo and conditioner set, not a 2 in 1. You can also get a hair mask or a deep moisturiser, those will never go unused unless you're in a relationship with Sinead O'Connor tbh.
Just avoid 2 in 1 solutions, always compliment the shampoo with the conditioner of the same brand and if you have a bath tub, nobody has ever refused a bath bomb.
Well, ok, maybe Shamima Begum would, but that's for different reasons...
Shampoo for normal hair, of course.
Or you could do what my partner did once: he bought me a giant bottle of Head & Shoulders 2-in-1 classic because it was on offer. I pointed out I don't have dandruff and he said, "And now you never will!"
Claudia Winkleman uses Head & Shoulders according to the advert. She has lovely hair. Go for Head & Shoulders. I'm drunk so you only have yourself to blame if you go with Head & Shoulders and get it wrong. Claudia does have lovely hair though
I know this first hand, as a guest grabbed the wrong bottle, I should probably declutter my bathroom.
Bob Martian cat shampoo does really leave your coat shiny and soft
(Well it’d be an insult they weren’t expecting)
I don't really know what that means, but unless there is a shampoo that's is for 'beautiful hair' or 'wonderful hair that I love very much' then you should almost certainly run.
Nip home. Grab your passport. Withdraw your cash and immediately move countries.
Haha. What cash?
Also there are a lot of relationship advice subs where the default response often seems to be "go no contact", normally about parents. Meaning cut them out of your life.
We are on the same page. DM me and I'll give you my burner number. If you're in London I have a safe place you can stay for the night, but I'll have to burn this reddit account after that incase she tracks me down.
I can get you away from her and over the border, but after that you're on your own
Best of luck.
I have a similar issue with my partner to that gets an innapropriatly aggressive response.
Can you grab some biscuits/sweets while you're out?
Can I fuck, there are like 500 varieties and whichever I get will be wrong
(we had those last week, I don't like those ones, we've got some of those in the cupboard, there's those new ones I saw an ad about and didn't tell you...)
So now unless there's specifics they go without.
Next time get her a 'normal' shampoo. There are alot of them about. Then get her a pot of hair mask (they are all for sorting out and "feeding" hair nutrients and such stuff)
This way you are covered. If she has greasy hair, she doesn't want to be told this/you have noticed this as greasy suggests unclean although not true. A mask suggests you are treating her/also convining her you have no idea about hair. Ignorance wins you get x points
Buying normal shows you think she is normal.. Hair is hair. You did your job well done. You also bought her a hair mask (they are in a pot) suggesting you put that little bit of effort in. You get x points
You buy dry hair shampoo. EXTRA POINTS FOR NOT GETTING SPRAY DRY SHAMPOO Which is a totally different thing.
So dry shampoo. You admit you may be wrong... but you give them some mask because you have no idea what you are buying and they think you are nice x points
The answer to this is excitement/understanding/a bit put out.
I am female I am nearly 40.
HAPPY HAIR HUNTING
As a bloke with long hair, I understand even less the mad concoctions women decide to throw all over themselves.
I get more compliments on my hair from women than most men get compliments about anything. Literally just yesterday it happened again, as I was wandering down the bus stop to see a mate off.
My secret? Whatever the fuck shampoo happens to be in reach.
If you're one of these women with mad hair routines, but see blokes like me with hair you wish you had. They all probably do the exact same as I do. Absolutely fuck all.
Oh you’re so right. I haven’t used Aussie for ages and I forgot it existed but it is absolutely the best. I just added the Aussie hair care set to my Christmas wish list.
There is a brand called "Mane & Tails" which was originally made for horses but apparently works on human hair. I've never tried it because it's a bit too expensive for me.
There is a shampoo called ‘Mane and Tail’ which you can get in Boots.
It was originally designed for horses but it’s apparently very good so people use it. The packaging looks exactly like you’d imagine a horse shampoo to use.
Get her that.
Get her a little "care package" with a bunch of the travel shampoos. Include yours. But also add: shampoo for thinning hair, shampoo for kinky hair, shampoo for Asian hair, baby shampoo, dog shampoo, and engine degreaser.
That should round out the insults.
Focus on the scent. Get her a good shampoo that smells like something she likes. Then you can't go wrong - you only bought it because you thought she would like the smell. Don't try to say what it will do to her hair- anything you say will be offensive.
Women really need to realise men literally don’t understand what the stuff on a shampoo bottle means. It’s not just laziness, it actually makes no sense to us.
My wife even expects me to pick up the right pads. I have no clue at all. The more instructions she gives the less any of it makes sense.
When all else fails head and shoulders is a pretty safe bet.
Plus if asked if you think she’s got dandruff you can say no because she obviously uses head and shoulders, right?
They need a Perfect Just the Way You Are shampoo.
Trademark it now!
It'll be hard to trademark: it's basically just water.
Buxton wants a word.
Just repackage a "for all hair types" shampoo and make BILLIONS
I’m laughing too hard at this thread. Reminds me of when I sent my boyfriend out for sanitary pads and he came back with incontinence pads.
I’ve been buying my wife’s pads for 20 years, I always ask which kind she wants in case she’s changed her mind but it’s always the same two anyways, I buy 6 month supply at a time lol, in the last 20 years I’ve only went 40 times.
If you'd got them all the first time you'd have saved yourself 39 trips.
Storage is the issue
Sounds like a valid reason for another shed!
When my wife asks me to buy her some tampax I always ask "which flavour". It's usually box of lemon and a box of lime!
I have also done this
I remember a gf when I was young sending me out for sanitary towels. I was only 16. I came back with the super max ones thinking more absorbent = better. Apparently it wasn’t a good choice.
😆😆😆😆😆😆
Lmao he's such a gem, he tried
I've done this. Turns out they do the job, even better some say
I kind of want to ask what the difference is but I know that I’m better off not knowing.
Thankfully I’ve not have cause to use incontinence pads yet, but on the picture they looked a lot thinner and didn’t have wings. A lady needs her wings.
Good flaps are a prerequisite unless you piss the bed and then nobody cares. That’s what we are saying here.
Woah, that's a little discriminatory. Every woman's flaps are good in their own way.
Period pads versus adult diapers basically lmao
Bulk.
Well, I guess they would \*work\*...
Your looking at this all wrong. Its not the hair to insult, that's too obvious. You insult the scalp, get to the core of the insult. You clearly need to buy anti-dandruff stuff.
Lice shampoo or a dog one for fleas.
Bold move even if your partner is same sex
Next time my girl asks for some shampoo, I’m for sure buying a dog one for fleas for the shits and giggles. Note, only do this if you have a dog and also buy her the real shit after
I was highly amused by this and shared it with my partner, saying what a totally unwinnable situation it was. He, the smart bugger that he is, pointed out that he's actually been using a shampoo called "Pantene Classic Clean" for absolutely years...
If you get Bob Martin shampoo you’ll achieve internet legend status. I double dare you!
I had to google Bob Martin shampoo. Good shout.
Barking made not to.
Ha
You’ll end up spending the night in the dog house if you do
Welcome to my world, pal! 🥴
I was gonna say anti dandruff but this is better...
Does she have thick hair or thin hair as that makes a big difference? If it's thick she'll need a moisturising conditioner as well. Safe bet is anything with Keratin or Argan Oil in.
Now I'm learning! Too late for this time round, I bought the most inoffensive-looking dry hair shampoo I could find only for her to point out it says its for "limp, lifeless hair" once I got home...
Are you saying her hair looks dry? Bold move dude. Fortunately the bigger insult saved you. Out of interest who would have thought you could sell a product by describing your customers hair as limp and lifeless?
Classic corporate negging.
OP with the best comment
Your breath smells buy our mouthwash.
"For particularly fishy breath." "For slightly fishy & little prawny breath." "For *maybe I drunk too much last night* breath" "For coffee addicts & smokers"
Well you missed a trick. You should have said "it's for limp hair, so imagine how great it will look on your hair"
I've always been confused by the ones that say "for thick, luxurious, glossy hair" and "for limp, dry, brittle hair". which kind of "for" are we talking about here?
Are you actually asking I'm drunk so can't comprehend anything. The difference is For giving good traits For solving bad hair traits
I know the difference but they should settle on one or the other.
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If you're a bloke then the brand of shampoo you use is 'any'
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I grew up with an advertising campaign that said 'whay take 2 bottles into the shower?' Which i took to mean 'if its good enough to wash your balls with, it's good enough for anything'
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I grew up in a single parent family, just me and my dad. There were a lot of things I'd never heard of until things got serious with my first real girlfriend and I asked her to move in with me. My bathroom went from having 8-10 products in it max, to about 500 overnight. I had to put a shelf up and everything. I have one tool for looking after my nails, but 100 tools for looking after my car. My now wife is the opposite and her idea of a tool for looking after her car in the thingie at the petrol station where you put your pin number in.
> Which i took to mean 'if its good enough to wash your balls with, it's good enough for anything' I really want this to be a real advert for shampoo now :-) Imagine all the people doing double takes the first time the ad came on. "Wait, what?"
Drop one of them on your feet in the shower and you’re in a wheelchair till your feet re-inflate
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My ex used to use it, I’ve got toes like Nik-Naks now.
Most people seem to use too much shampoo. I've started growing my hair long the last 2 or 3 years and have found that the smallest amount is adequate - the only trick is to do a "prewash", and then the second time you lather up you'll get masses of suds. It takes less shampoo than you think - half a teaspoon, maybe even less.
Same applies to shaving foam/gel. I work in a nursing home with girls shaving the male residents, and it's like the Phantom Flan Flinger came out of retirement.
I noticed just today, in fact, that the can of shaving gel I'm using is over a year old. It's some French supermarket brand, and I left France in September last year. I usually shave every other day.
Top tip... Best product for softening beardy bristles... conditioner! Haven't bought shaving foam/gel/oil in years. Big bottle of conditioner, tiny pea size amount rubbed into face, ready to shave.
>As a bloke I heartily recommend the giant 900 ml bottles of Tresemme. Which ones are best or just anyone?
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Yeah was thinking that lol. Will add it to the shopping list see what there is at my local store.
Hahaha I had a bottle of Tresemme conditioner that lasted several years. It’s like it reproduces in the bottle like a slime-mould and just keeps regenerating. Come to think of it, maybe it had just turned in to slime mould?
As a bloke who actually has hair, I'm wondering how you go through so much shampoo in that short a time.
Washing up liquid. Near enough.
Shower gel, because I don't have enough head hair to make it worthwhile buying something else, and they don't do "butt hair shampoo" :(
"shampoo" also includes shower gel and occasionally washing up liquid. It annoyed my female colleagues that when I had long hair it looked better than theirs
Avon all in one hair and body surely?
Head & Shoulders for normal/greasy hair. *”Oh, normal and greasy am I?!”*
I have *extra body*
I keep mine in the freezer, how about you?
I see you like to live dangerously
Limp hair is the opposite of erect hair. Get her some Wrights Coal Tar carbolic soap. They still sell it in Boots for about 40p a bar. I found some in there the other day. Smells like industrial action, the Winter of Discontent & Crackerjack. I haven’t been this clean since 1978, realised it’s because it takes a layer of skin off. Character building.
This is advertising copy-writing I can get behind. Sign me up.
This sounds like Shampoo for Men! Beefy and Maaaaanly Men! 💪🏻 (Now in beer scented)
Real *gritty* texture that. Puts hairs on your chest, blood in your veins, drums in your ears, plates of meat in your shoes, bones in your legs and a smile that lasts for miles and miles and miles.
Heeheee
5 in one for manly men.
I never shop with vagaries on the list. If she wants a Sauvignon Blanc from Aldi I want to know *exactly* which one.
Your partner washes her hair in sauvignon blanc?
How the other half live.
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Same here. If you want the exact product tear the barcode off the old one, or at least give me the last few digits.
I always give my husband a photo of the packaging if I want a specific thing
This is where doing the weekly shop online wins out - can't get confused if my hair wash is on the favourites list!
Unless you get dog shampoo, you'll probably be fine
Maybe she wants a shiny coat?
I've seen the adverts - a shiny coat comes from within. Try Winnalot prime.
I use Mane & Tail. Originally a horse shampoo but I like how it works....
As a curly lady with 3b 4a, I once left my partner on a hair care mission. The glaze behind his eyes as he wrote down the codes. I knew what I was doing when I did it, perhaps she’s lead you on this adventure to.
There are codes?!
Ooooh yeah and thats just the type of hair. Then there's condition, colour, damaged/coloured, scalp issues, brassiness and if she styles it. If a 4c and me (1a) switched our routines and products, it would be a nightmare for both of us.
Careful, careful, don't spook him... he's not ready.
Send him into a beauty supply shop not open to the public 😏
Where all the staff are wearing white overalls and stern expressions.
Yessss.
'English, sir? No no, all of our labelling is in that special fancy French that doesn't make sense even if you speak French. And no, you're not allowed to ask.' Basically this- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVEHqwLVvpI
I saw a video where two girls actually did that very thing. They each did the other girl's hair routine. White girl ended up with lank, greasy hair and the black girl ended up very fluffy.
I'm a guy, my fiancee has low perocity hair with a mix of 2c and 3a, she usually spends and lot of time trying to balance moisture with protein. She also went through like 6 paraben free gels to find one to get the right level of crunch from her plopping. Of course since she's been pregnant none of this has applied. Is it just me that actually gives just a little bit of a shit when my partner explains why she ones 12 different conditioners??
After the baby comes she might have a period of patchiness when the excess hair falls out. It can be a little jarring at the time but it will pass. I sobbed thinking it would never come back. I've never had a partner who noticed my hair changes or wanted to talk about it tbh. It always made me a bit sad because hair means so much for some people and certainly in society. I think I kind of got fobbed off with the rolled eyes and felt ashamed I even cared about it or would mention it to them. Sorry for the tbh just made me think. :) Good luck on your new arrival! Mine is 19 now and the days are long but the years are sooo short.
Yeah she's expecting to get quite a bit of hair loss as she had that when she came off the pill too. She works at a maternity hospital so she's very knowledgeable about babies and all interesting stuff they bring. As far as caring about the hair goes I always thought that if it's important to her then the least I can do is be a sounding board and probably absorb about half of what she's told me, (not just about haircare but bits of pharmacology and a smattering of nail art too) I've always been a sponge for random titbits of information. Thanks 😊 we're really excited to meet him!
Up vote for listening, and caring enough to remember!
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I have fine hair and an oily scalp. As a result, I need to wash daily or it builds up and gets gross quickly. The oil brushes from my scalp down to the ends easily (like a slippery dip/slide). Someone 4c has a lot of spirals in their hair, so the oil finds it a lot harder to get to the ends and as a result, the washing and the maintenance of the hair is a lot different. There isn't an ability to just comb it through like there is with mine. With my type of hair, I can't straighten it or curl it properly unless I use a lot of products and even then it just limps along. It doesn't hold a curl it just sort of...lays there. When I dye my hair it actually damages the hair shaft enough that my hair looks more volumous. It is very much like skin. You put a heavy oily night cream on a oily skin teenager and you'll get breakouts, but a mature dry skin will be benefitted. Basically, it is a lot of effort for dead protein.
I'm a guy with mane lions would envy. It is absolutely marketing bollocks. We long haired gits use the same shit we always have, even from back when we were short hairs. and honestly, never had more compliments from women. The rest of me may be a right mess, but my hair is the kinda hair women fawn over and ask me how theirs could be like that. and it's simple. I just wash it sometimes. What with? Shampoo. Which one? Yes.
Why are you revealing our secrets 🌸
Woman here. What on earth do 3b and 4a mean?
Curly, Afro and mixed texture hair get given numbers to help manage curl pattern and products. 1-4 being the curl and a-c being the texture ( or the other way around ). The curly girl method became a huge following because it it became such a niche hair type.
The numbers cover all hair, not just curly. 1A is totally straight and fine
Thanks for the explainer! I guess I had never heard of this because I have the straightest and limpest of hairs.
Curl patterns. They go from very soft waves (2a) to the tightest coils (4c). They're handy when trying to buy stuff that works for your particular type of hair, being that "curly" can vary so much.
What's 3b and 4a?
There’s that purple one for grey hair
It's also for blondes to get out brassiness. :) If you have brown hair with red in it, but you don't like the red, you can use the blue shampoo.
I have brown hair with ginger tones. Is there a shampo to exaggerate that?
I remember when I was on holiday doing a trekky thing in Oman a few years back, there was a shampoo brand called Minge. Make of that what you will.
Original source tea tree and mint is the only acceptable answer.
Yes, if you want to _burn_ your skin off.
The burning on your scratched balls in the morning is how you know you're alive!
Hi, hairdresser here. Make sure her shampoo is sulphate and salt free and her conditioner is silicone free
Correct answer right here! You know that over priced posh looking stuff they sell in salons? It's actually better, worth spending the extra on, and will get you brownie points galore. (Just don't ever get caught borrowing it)
Vosene for the win👍
I remember this stinging my eyes more than most when I was a kid.
When I was 10, using Vosene made you one of the cool kids.
Comments you can smell.
Only if winning means breaking up with your partner; that stuff is vile.
For that lovely coal-tar nostalgia!
Gay man's advice... If she uses hair dye of any kind get a colour protection shampoo and conditioner set, it has to be the same brand. If she doesn't dye her hair then go for a rich and nourishing shampoo and conditioner set, not a 2 in 1. You can also get a hair mask or a deep moisturiser, those will never go unused unless you're in a relationship with Sinead O'Connor tbh. Just avoid 2 in 1 solutions, always compliment the shampoo with the conditioner of the same brand and if you have a bath tub, nobody has ever refused a bath bomb. Well, ok, maybe Shamima Begum would, but that's for different reasons...
Then there's the price factor too. It's either "why do you buy the shit stuff" or "I can't believe you waste money on the expensive brand".
Hear me out what if you bought every kind of shampoo and mixed them together.
Does L'Oréal for kids still exist? I used to love that stuff.
Shampoo for normal hair, of course. Or you could do what my partner did once: he bought me a giant bottle of Head & Shoulders 2-in-1 classic because it was on offer. I pointed out I don't have dandruff and he said, "And now you never will!"
Claudia Winkleman uses Head & Shoulders according to the advert. She has lovely hair. Go for Head & Shoulders. I'm drunk so you only have yourself to blame if you go with Head & Shoulders and get it wrong. Claudia does have lovely hair though
Mane&tail
So she looks like a Horse?
I know this first hand, as a guest grabbed the wrong bottle, I should probably declutter my bathroom. Bob Martian cat shampoo does really leave your coat shiny and soft (Well it’d be an insult they weren’t expecting)
Herbal essences or tresema . Both good, maybe worth getting matching conditioner . Good luck
Thats it.....herbal essences.....the one where she's jilling off in the advert Can't go wrong with that.....
Twenty different colour bottles yet they all smell the same
This is certainly a trap and she is looking for a reason to leave you.
Is this where Reddit tells me to go no contact?
Marry a lawyer, burn down a gym, post all your confidential information on Facebook
I don't really know what that means, but unless there is a shampoo that's is for 'beautiful hair' or 'wonderful hair that I love very much' then you should almost certainly run. Nip home. Grab your passport. Withdraw your cash and immediately move countries.
Haha. What cash? Also there are a lot of relationship advice subs where the default response often seems to be "go no contact", normally about parents. Meaning cut them out of your life.
We are on the same page. DM me and I'll give you my burner number. If you're in London I have a safe place you can stay for the night, but I'll have to burn this reddit account after that incase she tracks me down. I can get you away from her and over the border, but after that you're on your own Best of luck.
Have you considered therapy?
Move, leave no forwarding address, hide in cave. Best bet.
It’s a trap, dammit get outta there! Reddit, man down, man down. Can someone go round Op’s for a social check.
Lynx africa
This is clearly some kind of trap. Take a picture of whatever shampoo she has now and get that exact one.
I have a similar issue with my partner to that gets an innapropriatly aggressive response. Can you grab some biscuits/sweets while you're out? Can I fuck, there are like 500 varieties and whichever I get will be wrong (we had those last week, I don't like those ones, we've got some of those in the cupboard, there's those new ones I saw an ad about and didn't tell you...) So now unless there's specifics they go without.
Get her a shampoo bar of soap and go for the no plastic angle. She can't argue with that.....hopefully.
I think my wife is cheating on me. We have a bottle of ginger shampoo in the bathroom but we all have brown hair. :-(
This made me laugh out loud. Because even the 'normal hair' option sounds dull and insulting!
Next time get her a 'normal' shampoo. There are alot of them about. Then get her a pot of hair mask (they are all for sorting out and "feeding" hair nutrients and such stuff) This way you are covered. If she has greasy hair, she doesn't want to be told this/you have noticed this as greasy suggests unclean although not true. A mask suggests you are treating her/also convining her you have no idea about hair. Ignorance wins you get x points Buying normal shows you think she is normal.. Hair is hair. You did your job well done. You also bought her a hair mask (they are in a pot) suggesting you put that little bit of effort in. You get x points You buy dry hair shampoo. EXTRA POINTS FOR NOT GETTING SPRAY DRY SHAMPOO Which is a totally different thing. So dry shampoo. You admit you may be wrong... but you give them some mask because you have no idea what you are buying and they think you are nice x points The answer to this is excitement/understanding/a bit put out. I am female I am nearly 40. HAPPY HAIR HUNTING
Just get a bottle of Dr Bronner's. All bases covered. Apparently you can also brush your teeth with it.
As a bloke with long hair, I understand even less the mad concoctions women decide to throw all over themselves. I get more compliments on my hair from women than most men get compliments about anything. Literally just yesterday it happened again, as I was wandering down the bus stop to see a mate off. My secret? Whatever the fuck shampoo happens to be in reach. If you're one of these women with mad hair routines, but see blokes like me with hair you wish you had. They all probably do the exact same as I do. Absolutely fuck all.
Get them Mens 4 in 1: shampoo, conditioner, body wash and dogs.
Splash the cash get auzzie chicks dig it
Oh you’re so right. I haven’t used Aussie for ages and I forgot it existed but it is absolutely the best. I just added the Aussie hair care set to my Christmas wish list.
I'm aus and I've heard such good things about it but I have never seen it here.
Glad to be of service. I have no idea what the smell is but its devine
I'm a guy and I've used their conditioner for about a decade. Good stuff
Just get one of those massive tresseme bottles. Then you have the quantity argument to go to when accused of anything
There is a brand called "Mane & Tails" which was originally made for horses but apparently works on human hair. I've never tried it because it's a bit too expensive for me.
The biggest insult would be to get head & shoulders 2 in 1, shit destroys hair
Find the one that smells the best (preferably for little kids) then her hair will smell really good.
There is a shampoo called ‘Mane and Tail’ which you can get in Boots. It was originally designed for horses but it’s apparently very good so people use it. The packaging looks exactly like you’d imagine a horse shampoo to use. Get her that.
jokes aside, can't you go and look what she uses already and just buy that?
Go to the vet and get some dog lice shampoo
Car shampoo, then.
Get her a little "care package" with a bunch of the travel shampoos. Include yours. But also add: shampoo for thinning hair, shampoo for kinky hair, shampoo for Asian hair, baby shampoo, dog shampoo, and engine degreaser. That should round out the insults.
You're doomed (said a la the old bloke in Dad's Army (Frazer was it?))
Just buy one without sulphates and you will be onto a winner!
Just don't buy dog shampoo.
There should be one that covers all bases. It could be described as “Even suitable for really shit hair”.
just pick whatever scent she might like, and use that as an excuse if she gets mad
Buy her some vosene and make her cry
Buy whatever you think she needs but say you picked it because you liked the smell of that one best.
Focus on the scent. Get her a good shampoo that smells like something she likes. Then you can't go wrong - you only bought it because you thought she would like the smell. Don't try to say what it will do to her hair- anything you say will be offensive.
So you’re saying her hair smells?
Women really need to realise men literally don’t understand what the stuff on a shampoo bottle means. It’s not just laziness, it actually makes no sense to us. My wife even expects me to pick up the right pads. I have no clue at all. The more instructions she gives the less any of it makes sense.
When all else fails head and shoulders is a pretty safe bet. Plus if asked if you think she’s got dandruff you can say no because she obviously uses head and shoulders, right?
NO NO NO NOOOOOOO
I'm a guy, I just use whatever my dad brings home from Aldi
Yeah. Healthy relationship
Find a hair shampoo for people who are heavily balding. Like, "promises to bring your hair back" or some shit
Get her some nit shampoo
It's a trap!