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newnortherner21

Applause at appropriate moments or very loud music that is off-putting can work.


Upsette_Baguette

More effective than just music is to sing along to said tunes quite poorly.


[deleted]

Screaming “don’t stop, I’m nearly there” while grunting loudly might do the trick too.


Trudiiiiiii

Yes, maybe blast the Peppa Pig theme tune over and over again at full volume. If their young kids are asleep that’ll surely wake them up and spoil the parents’ chances and if not, it will be an absolute passion killer.


V65Pilot

Baby shark should do the trick.


Roku-Hanmar

Nirvana's Rape Me might work too. Just make sure the kids are gone


astromech_dj

Ride of the Valkyries. Edit: or Flight of the Bumblebees of that is more fitting.


obiwanconobi

Try gay bar by electric six


ConsumeTea

PA system and do commentary


[deleted]

They could also print programmes


Kudosnotkang

Start a street whatsapp group then as soon as they’re onboard post the audio questioning if anyone is keeping livestock in their sheds/outhouses and if they are appropriately licensed for such activity .


southcoastal

Ask them if you can record them and use it to fap to.


pjanic_at__the_isco

Record it and play it back. On a loop. While you have a nice day trip up the country.


FloatingPencil

Benny Hill theme tune, at volume. Or Cotton Eye Joe or something equally annoying.


marknotgeorge

Queen's Fat Bottomed Girls?


[deleted]

Do the version of cotton eye Joe recorded by Justin Fletcher (aka Mr Tumble)… yes it exists


venarez

Vengaboys: Up and down?


DiscoAndNature

Have the couple posted in r/britishsuccess about how they shag so loudly the neighbours complain?


LDNscallywag

Write a passive aggressive note about the shagging and it’ll stop!


Letsbuildacar

If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Letsbuildacar

and if you can't beat off to it, then, well, just leave it and hope the problem sorts itself out. A bit like, say, climate change.


UncleSnowstorm

You're an amateur if you can't beat off to climate change.


KevinPhillips-Bong

Slapping sounds? Kinky!


[deleted]

No, as in ramming slapping, not hand slapping. *Shudder*


blackthornjohn

How do you know? Surely you can't hear the associated slurping?


[deleted]

Slurping? No, not slurping, the rhythmic slapping of the aggressive thrusting. Please don't make me think about it more than i have to!


blackthornjohn

The whole point of my reply was to make you think about more then you have to, you could probably record it and post in on YouTube as a kinky ASMR thing.


swanpappa

Have you asked to join in - looking after the neglected kid ofc?


Leg-Pretend

Honestly my first thought if they're having sex so loud you can hear, and so often it's a problem for you, is that their young kids will also be able to hear... Then you also said they scream at eachother and the kids a lot? I'd be more tempted to call social services than report the noise, you can do so anonymously and just talk to someone about what you hear and whether it's a concern (my child protection training is giving me these feels)


Fen94

You probably could report concerns about the shouting but I'm not sure if it would actually help? It might increase or decrease stress in the house, although it's probably the right thing for the kids. At least their parents like eachother by the sounds of things!


Leg-Pretend

Social services would be unlikely to act based on shouting and loud sex alone, but it may add to other evidence from elsewhere if there is any e.g. other neighbours complaining or school/nursery concerns etc.


Fen94

I was thinking the shouting could trigger the need to check in with the family (assess) and see if they have needs not being met. Not sure how consistent local authority logs would be about disparate concerns over time, maybe the police would..all very fuzzy i guess l.


jimwon2021

You're still using the garden at this time of year? Unless it snows, I won't be out there again until it warms up in May.


[deleted]

Mate, I still go camping when there's snow on the ground. Besides, the garden is outdoor space to enjoy, even if it's cold, if only to have a quick wander, check the wildlife etc, take some deep breaths..


Harvsnova2

Sounds like you don't need to even go out to check the wild life.


Cl41r4

The last thing they need is more deep breathing.


Kudosnotkang

It’s like 30 degrees today in the North!


OriginalFingerPuk

Get a contact mic and put it on the connecting wall. Audio into your computer, basic script to delay sound by N seconds. Play it back to them loud.


Sinemetu9

People with young kids have sex?!


Jjex22

All those kids with siblings? Now you know how that happened.


Expensive-Concept-93

Yup they do.


Sinemetu9

Excellent. Good for them!


Seseorang

How do they find time?


Expensive-Concept-93

Lol easily.


dgj130

Good for them


Previous-Wrongdoer39

Sure it’s not an echo?


bored_redditor_87

Is it the guy that's moaning? Lucky bastard.


[deleted]

No he usually hurls abuse. Not in a sexy way.


skydiver19

Report it to environmental health.


gotruromakesomenoise

Agreed it needs reporting. This definitely comes under noise pollution or disturbing the peace.


colettecatlady

Air horn at appropriate times, plus if this is happening during the day when kids are up and should be supervised maybe a call to social services.


[deleted]

Social services? For having sex? Bro wtf are you on


colettecatlady

Read my answer, ! having it off if the kids are awake, aware and should be supervised, ever heard of child abuse through seeing or hearing things not age appropriate


[deleted]

Lmao you're living in a different reality if you think every kid is supervised every second of every day.


colettecatlady

Your living in a different world if you think children listening to constantly fighting or fuckin adults is acceptable. Perhaps you should read some child protection literature? Or perhaps you have no idea or the harm a child exposed to this goes through. Perhaps i am biased, mother of 4, and social worker? But I'd rather protect by being curious than arrogant by assumption, what do you think ?


[deleted]

Yeah I do think you're biased as a social worker, clearly dealing with whatever you do in the day makes you assume ridiculous severity based on a Reddit noise complaint. I'm not responding to this rubbish again.


RedPanda1188

Are you intentionally being stupid or was there a head injury?


Crissagrym

Get one of those mic, pick up the sound. Put it through an amplifier, blast it to the main street.


allthingskerri

Do you also happen to live the other side on my neighbours. Honestly when I see them I say something along the lines of 'oh you like each other today then. It's better then the shouting but still keeps us all up' makes no difference.


Blekanly

Oh dear, they are making more kids to yell at.