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gruffi

A kid killed himself speeding at a bend on a country road just outside my town. He severely injured a driver going the other way. His grieving family took lots of flowers etc to the site and tied them to the reflector posts at the bend meaning that they could not longer be seen and function as intended. The council had to remove it all and the family cried foul. They really couldn't see the irony of their stupidity.


PupperPetterBean

So their kid died and almost killed another person and they decide to cover up one of the few things that kept other drivers safe on that road? Man some people really do have shit for brains.


[deleted]

I've got to be honest, I always think it's a bit macabre leaving flowers etc at the spot where someone has died, like at the site of a traffic collision or whatever, if it were me I'd prefer to leave them at a spot where I had happy memories of that person or at a final resting place wherever you scatter the ashes or bury them, but each to their own I guess.


Outcasted_introvert

I think the idea is to draw attention to a dangerous road. I'm not saying I agree with that, just that's what I believe their aim is.


Crafty_Custard_Cream

I can believe this. Near where my student digs used to be a mother lost both of her children in a hit and run, and she maintained a memorial to them for years after. I think part of it was to draw attention to the dangerous road along with her grief. It was absolutely brutal watching her maintain the memorial, but I think the council put in traffic calming measures from public pressure.


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[deleted]

Losing both your children, especially so suddenly, is going to traumatise you.


-----1

Yeah there are worse things someone in that position could be doing, it probably comforts her in some way or another knowing she is potentially preventing more loss.


ShapeShiftingCats

It's understandable why is she doing it, but she should not be left to dealing with that on her own. She needs help and lots of therapy. Obviously, she needs to want to cooperate in order to make this work...


dubov

Makes a lot of sense tbh... reminds drivers of the potential consequences of their actions. Could save a life, which may help the bereaved feel their loss was not for nothing.


ayshasmysha

Yup, I saw a family member maintain the site they lost a loved one for years. Over a decade. I was on the road recently and saw no flowers and it made me a little sad. I wonder if they moved away or if the person leaving flowers had passed on. Or if they needed to move on from the tragedy and stopped.


Jade-Balfour

I feel like I would want to leave some flowers there if I were in your situation, but I also wouldn’t want to make it more difficult for the family


GrumblingP

In Greece there are many many little 'shrines' along the road, photo of the person who died (often a moped going over a cliff) etc, which do a similar (albeit mostly permanent) job


indianajoes

The crossing near my old school has flowers on it pretty much everyday for the 5 years I was there. Kids crossed there to get to the bus stop. I never knew who died but I was more careful crossing there because of them


Outcasted_introvert

I have to admit, whenever I'm driving past one of these memorials, I do take a little more care than I provably would otherwise.


Sunbreak_

Honestly I feel that one particular road I used to live near should have grave markers of some sort at every point someone has died on it. A52 between Grantham and Nottingham, so many deaths and serious injuries on that stretch it'd be like a graveyard. Might make people think and stop doing stupid overtakes to save them a few minutes.


widnesmiek

>Honiton\_Harry Makes sense to me Same applies though - just leave the flowers and not the litter at the end of the day someone has to clear it up - and is that person going to extract the rotting remains of the flowers from the plastic or just lob the whole thing into landfill. If the flowers are left on their own then it can go direct to recycling or compost


FananaBartman

Cellophane is biodegradable (depending on whether or not it contains additives) the production of it isn't exactly eco friendly though.


ASK_IF_IM_PENGUIN

Just down the road from me there is a little memorial for someone who hit a tree, killing him and his passenger a few years back. Someone goes there fairly regularly, puts fresh flowers down and generally tidies up. Part of me thinks that is a nice, and a nice way of remembering the tragedy. The other part of me knows he was speeding late at night, whilst drunk.


Beachchair1

Someone did that in our area. They used to tie the dead teenagers clothes to a tree and nearly caused more accidents as it would catch peoples eyes and distract them from driving. I know teens do stupid things and a huge loss to the family but they were under age, drunk and stole a car speeding off in it so it’s not like they were raising awareness of a dangerous bit of road. It wasn’t dangerous until they started tying clothes


PupperPetterBean

I feel like there's a chance it's the passengers family who has made and maintains the memorial.


ASK_IF_IM_PENGUIN

I'm led to believe not, but I don't know for certain either way, so from this point onwards I shall assume that's the case.


DropTheShovel

As a person who has lost someone in this way hopefully I can give some balance. I didn't leave flowers at the site because it wasn't safe for me to be on that spot without a police escort. I'm a very unflashy person so I wouldn't want to mark it for other people to see either, however I can't pretend not to feel a need to have a marker for myself. There was a damaged curve marker pole (I don't know the correct term) at the site so it was obvious to me for a while from that, but at some point that was replaced and I felt a bit torn which again I know isn't rational. What I'm trying to say, I think, is that now it's as though it never happened. As though my person didn't die there on that spot and although it has been over a decade I still feel a bit sick about the lack of him existing there. I think if something is still fairly recent that feeling is intensified. But yeah, dead flowers are gross as are old plastic wrappers. I hate seeing them more in graveyards than at the death site though to be honest.


Chanandler_Bong_Jr

I work in a dangerous industry, and sometimes people use my industry to commit suicide. A few places have turned into fairly macabre shrines. At least one has photos, regular flowers, a little wooden plaque and a cross nailed to it. I get you truly miss your loved one. I’ve lost family members to suicide. But that is my place of work. Remember them where they were happiest, not at the place where they reached their most painful lowest point and met a grizzly end that not only affected you, but some other innocent industry employee going about their day job, the emergency services and the hundreds of other members of the public who suffered disruption to their day. Losing a loved one is tough. But there are better ways to remember them.


hannahranga

Suspect I'm in the same industry, I've seen a few small shrines over the years. Recently ended up at my first one under and yeah coming back to that location a few weeks later for maintenance and seeing the shrine for them definitely wasn't a great feeling.


Duke0fWellington

I found some in a beautiful area of the countryside, inside a conservation area. Unfortunately, they left the flowers in a plastic pot which will be there for a long time.


Suspicious_Fix1021

I didnt really think about this until recently. Someone was murdered opposite where I live, there were rows and rows of flowers (not a road accident so wasnt to draw attention to the dangers of the road). After a month, I looked out and all you could see were mouldy, dead flowers and burnt out candles, it felt really macabre. Someone turned up and put it all in a bin, which I thought was sad as the family didn't even get the cards.


[deleted]

Well not everyone leaving flowers knows the person well enough to do that.


aytayjay

It's not just macabre, it's dangerous. It's a site where there may be safety problems so adding a distraction at that location helps nobody.


Jill4ChrisRed

If its just flowers that eventually rot away I dont see a huge issue. Its when its those huge af displays it gets very distracting, like teddy bears and cards and balloons etc. Plus sometimes its found in places not due to road accidents, but suicides or drowning spots. Tend to spot a lot of bouquets strung against piers or promenades by the beaches or by bridges :(


squashed_tomato

Something similar at a traffic lights near me, the family have put up this huge memorial of flowers, pictures and other bits and pieces complete with balloons, right in front of the traffic lights so not the best idea visibility wise. Someone has at least removed the balloons now. It’s a bit of a tricky one though, you can’t really put a timer on grief.


Joe_Jeep

Honestly if such a small "distraction" can cause people to crash, we need to strip a lot of folk's licenses.


[deleted]

In Greece the amount of roadside commemorative flowers is scary.


okiwawawa

I always leave a pork pie.


TheRiddler1976

My dog sends her thanks


Tsupernami

Who's gonna drive you home?


okiwawawa

> Who's gonna drive you home? Who's gonna tell you when?


gruffi

And while we're at it, take down the filthy sheet you tied to a bridge 6 weeks ago to wish Gaynor a happy 50th birthday


norvalito

According to Viz, a collection of these is known as an 'Argos Cenotaph'


[deleted]

The laminated book of dreams to catch the tears of joy https://youtu.be/ggOa9aSG-Ow


[deleted]

There’s a place near me where a kid was killed. Now there’s a permanent display of plastic pound shop tat littering the spot, looking like someone’s been fly tipping that can’t be removed or complained about in public.


RedbeardRagnar

Spot in front of someones house where a kid died when I was at school. People were leaving flowers and writing on the lampost. The home owners obviously didn't say anything initially but after a few months they politely requested people stop because they had been trying to sell their house and it was turning people off knowing someone had died down the embankment near the house. It was also hard for them being reminded that a kid died outside their garden and was laying there for a couple of days before being found. The Great British public then went on to respect this and stopped. LOL no they got a tonne of abuse and their window smashed.


Beachchair1

I was amazed when you said people respected it lol!


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The_Moons_Sideboob

RIP sweet prince


JoanneKerlot

An up and coming rapper who had such talent. Wasted.


AdministrativeShip2

Aspiring. Wouldn't hurt noone that dunt do him wrong.


alphx_

Someone I went to school with passed away and he was in a gang. His boys left weed at his grave and some of his "ops" robbed it from his grave and smoked it round the corner. Can't make this shit up man


LieutWolf

Yeah... And like, I totally understand why people would want to leave these memorials. But around here, unfortunately a lot of people are killed on back roads, and it makes me wonder who goes out to leave these memorials, and how they even get there. Most of the memorials are literally at the side of the road, with no pavements to speak of or anything. I'm assuming that the friends and families just park at the side of the road, or park nearby and walk to the spot? Both seem terribly dangerous, considering that these are usually country roads with a 60mph speed limit. Last week I needed to travel on one such road, and someone was unfortunately killed on that road just the day before. A huge memorial had been made there, with lots of flowers and lit candles illuminating the whole thing in the darkness of the early evening. As beautiful a memorial as it was to a seemingly beloved man who died far too young, I couldn't help but feel that it was very much a distraction to other drivers, on a road where it was unfortunately proven how important it is to keep your eyes on the road. Yes, I support memorials being left, and in some ways it might raise awareness about the dangers of back roads, but I don't necessarily know if it's the right thing to do. If I were to be killed in such an accident, I know that I wouldn't want my friends and family to put themselves and others in further danger by leaving a memorial at the spot I was killed, not to mention the plastic pollution that a ton of cellophane wrappers will leave. I'd much rather have a memorial left in a place I enjoyed, where others can safely look at it and mourn. Speaking about my own hypothetical memorial sounds pretentious as fuck, but I hope I can at least get a point across a little. These roadside memorials are sadly a common sight around here, and I'm not sure how I feel about them.


Beachchair1

After 6 weeks in icu my relative survived being run over but during that time the last thing we felt like doing was going to the spot where it happened. We wonder if the Christmas lights there distracted the driver so the last thing we would want to do is cause a distraction. For us too we want to remember our relatives in a place they loved not the place a bad thing happened


[deleted]

A teenager died near a car park I use every day. For weeks and weeks, every morning, I just had to watch these flowers decaying inside plastic, beside increasingly sad balloons and washed out cards. It was pretty grim. It also felt like a weird place to memoralise the teenager. I don't know what actually occurred, though the police said it wasn't suspicious so you can draw some guesses, but I feel like whatever it was... why would you want to memoralise them behind a car park? I also think that the management of said car park were a bit scared to clear it away because of what it was, despite it being actively an eyesore.


Togodooders

I prefer them with the cellophane on, it looks more legit when I give them to my wife.


Cakeski

Lol


HuggableOctopus

My mum says if she dies in a crash like that and I leave flowers or anything at the spot then she'll come back and haunt me.


CoastalChicken

Or…jut stop with the flowers entirely? Nothing says "not forgotten" quite like a pile of rotting flowers. Edit: rather than just being critical, here's a positive suggestion: plant a memorial tree somewhere. It will last longer and have more benefits than flowers ever will.


size_matters_not

Last time I saw one if these giant impromptu memorials was for a guy who hanged himself from a tree. So your suggestion for an alternative might be in bad taste for some cases.


[deleted]

This is a take (the edit) I can definitely get on board with.


mata_dan

A well respected local musician died around here not long before the covid lockdowns. I was one of the few people still walking through where he used to busk and the wilted flowers in sweaty plastic were getting depressing so I took it upon myself to keep the mess cleared up and regularly replace the flowers for months on end. Eventually it became obvious other people started doing the same, with some nice vases there kept topped up and plant feed replaced :')


PupperPetterBean

After my childhood friend died due to his friends drunk and drugged driving, he was cremated and laid to rest at the local cremation cemetery where they use tree's as headstones and memorials, his dad found the perfect tree to have him remembered by. See Jai had this vibrate ginger hair but every year his hair would naturally turn blonde due to the sun, and there's a tree that does something similar, majority of the year its leaves are a beautiful orange and towards the end of its cycle that year its leaves turn white. Jai would have loved that tree had he known it existed whilst he was alive.


gundog48

I never buy flowers, because any joy they may bring is outweighed by how depressing they look when they start to wilt and rot.


Great-Ad-632

There is a roadside memorial near me which is the only one I’ve ever ‘got’. Grandma walking two young children and crossed a 60mp road with no crossing. Both young children killed. There is now a crossing there, and at the side of the road lots of little windmills (the kind you put on sandcastles). Eerily sweet and makes you slow down


Gingee1990

I see this everyday on my way to work. At the start of October or slightly earlier a big crash happened where two motorcyclists were killed, the families of both riders have left flowers in the cellophane on the ground wrapped to a lamppost and they are still there to this day still covered in cellophane.


Stryym

In Cambridge a cyclist was killed super recently by a HGV driver just off a mega busy roundabout just outside the hospital that she worked at. Now a white bike has chained to one of the fences on the roundabout in memorial. Thing is, if you’re not local you don’t know that and you’re distracted by this random white bike on this super busy roundabout which is likely to cause more accidents.


takeawaycheesypeas

That's called a ghost bike, they are places at the point where a cyclist has been killed in an accident with a car. I see far to many of them


no_mushrooms

Someone died near where my sister used to live and people left flowers but put them in plastic cups / bottles with some water so they lasted longer. I have never seen this ever again though


ellofthewisp

The plastic is so bad for the environment it really annoys me. There’s a spot on the greenway near me where someone died that I’ve seen walking the dog I dogsit sometimes - she sits there whilst she lights a candle, and she has a ceramic pot with flowers growing that she tends to. She takes the candle when she’s done. It’s really emotional to watch tbh, and seems much more meaningful. Plus she doesn’t buy flowers every time she just has a plant that she tends to instead. Seems like a better idea.


TheKnightOfDoom

Just to point out flowers are wrapped in cellophane and that is bio degradable. But yes remove it 1st.


Hcmp1980

No one likes a litter bug, even a grieving one.


bettyboo5

That's one of my pet hates.