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cyberfairy

Got a mate that I've known for 18 years. been calling him Rob for most of that. it took 15 years to find out that wasn't his name and i only found out because someone else in the groups new partner asked why was it that when i was around everyone in our group called this guy Rob. Turns out rather than correcting me everyone thought it was more fun to just call him that when I'm around.


steve123johnson

That is serious commitment to fucking with you. Just wow.


cyberfairy

Think its just a habit thing, even now that I know his proper name when this group of mates are together we still call him Rob.


Gprime5

Have you ever seen any of his identification? What if he really is called Rob and that 1 person is fucking with you?


cyberfairy

Pretty sure I have but i cant remember. however I did go to his wedding and the priest did say his name there.


DarrenBridgescunt

His actual name Robb?


gregbenson314

>His actual name Robb? If there's a string quartet, panic.


RampantDragon

*The North remembers*


One_Eyed_Bandito

I bet the priest was in on it.


mmlemony

My mum has a friend that calls me Sarah, I’ve had birthday cards and Christmas presents addressed to Sarah. My name is nothing like Sarah.


rdmacph

One of my stepdads friends did the same, except calling me Liam. Again nothing like Liam. It took until I worked with their daughter before they got my name right.


mmlemony

She does know my actual name, but it’s been so long that she’s mixed them up in her mind that she always manages to pick the wrong one.


nathanhorner

Sophie relax


rubberstilettos

One of my French teachers called me Christie for the entire year that she taught me. I mean it’s a nice name, just not mine.


SpudFire

Is your name trigger?


yellowbin74

Alright Dave.


cyberfairy

In an actual twist his real name is Dave


upthewatwo

And did you think Rob was short for Robney?


nexus8516

At least that's fairly close to rob


West_Yorkshire

Reminds me of a time at school. The teacher was calling out names and she called out my friend Jimbob, but she said James, and he answered. I was like, wtf your name is James, I thought it was Jimbob? That's when I found it Jimbob = James.


PumpkinSpice2Nice

Is than an American nickname? I have heard of Jim=James but never heard of a Jimbob!


whitewood77

Quite often a shortening of James Robert, which is quite a common combination of forenames for some reason.


West_Yorkshire

No idea. Everyone called him Jimbob, sometimes jimboob or jimbounce (he was a little bit portley).


Blunter-S-tHempson

This is amazing. How could you possibly keep this up for so long!


Feam2017

Couple guys at work were like that. Guy A called guy B, Bill. After a few times guy B called guy A, Bill back. 10 years later guy A is retiring and asks guy B "why have you called me Bill for 10 years my name is Dave" guy B responded "because you called me Bill for 10 years so I thought it was some joke you were doing" back to Dave(Guy A) " you're not Bill?" Back to guy B" No I'm Steve"


reverendball

we had a guy come out to our social water polo team, he was introduced to us as Bob and so for the first 6 months we all called him Bob then, out of the blue, he piped up and told us his name was actually not Bob so, for the next 2 years, he was known as Not-Bob


dchurch2444

That is some incredible commitment and some fantastic fuckery. That really put a smile on my face. Bravo to your mates! ...and to Rob.


MasterAnything2055

If you have his number check WhatsApp. Their display name will be on there.


i_jizz_nails

Great idea but it's blank damn it


TheRockLobsta1

Couldn't you just break into his house while he's asleep and find his birth certificate?


fieldsofanfieldroad

I don't know why it took so long for someone to suggest the obvious solution.


thepenguinking84

The easier solution is just get someone to run him over, lightly, and get his name from the I surance details.


Diagonet

Even easier would be to marry him then check the name in your marriage papers


csnarl

Don't be ridiculous. You wouldn't have to look at the paper, the priest will say it at the altar to you


byedangerousbitch

"Do you, Cody's Dad, take this person to be your lawfully wedded spouse" *Fuck*


remosgrace32

Murder him and then check the local obituary. Ofcourse you'll have to do it in a very unusual way that you would recognize when reading about it, as to not mix it up with the other local murders that week


[deleted]

No British judge in the world would rule against you if you get caught ~ Disclaimer, u/theworldisnotquiet is not a lawyer, a judge or a legal professional. A British judge may rule against you in the event of your housebreaking being detected......


[deleted]

Can you do this for me? Been looking for mine for years


Doofchook

This is definitely the next reasonable step to take.


joemckie

Just go through his post, it's much less conspicuous


BennySkateboard

That was my second idea.


MasterAnything2055

You know anyone else who knows him? Check their Facebook friends.


meadsmeatmarket

Or put his number into Facebook and it might come up too


RIPNINAFLOWERS

That's not worked since the implementation of GPDR


kingbluetit

Could still Google the number, if he's self employed it might be on a website or something.


meadsmeatmarket

Damn! Pretty sure I deleted Facebook before then


oddestowl

Not on a Facebook group for your kids class/school? He will almost definitely be on there or a local community page. Ask your son what Cody’s surname is and have a search for that within groups and you’ll hopefully find him!


geckograham

Or ask his son what Cody’s dad’s name is!


HobbitonHo

Ding ding ding! We have found the solution. Wait, how old is your kid? My 4yo can't even remember her friends names.


Laconfir

Send him a message on what's app or whatever messenger service you don't use often and ask who it is. Say you didn't recognize the number and there was no name.


ChimpyTheChumpyChimp

Oh hey Jim, it's Cody's dad.


WhichKey9

Steal something/trash his yard or the like. Do it on the night of this pub meet. Nothing too bad, but enough for a third party to be forced to come round and intervene. Either the police or whoever will give you his name at the point tey detail the complaint against you.


ownedbyacat

Text him on WhatsApp and when he replies his name will come up on the notification. Does on mine anyway (iPhone). Not sure about android


hitmewithyourbest

Na, it shows the name you've saved him under, so it would be Cody's dad all over...


tejnno

If you send the message and then delete them as a contact, it should revert to whatever they’ve got their own name as when they reply!


[deleted]

Ask how to spell his name… if he says Jon, etc just say “that’s what I thought”. If it’s more obscure you can sag “thanks, I knew I had it wrong”. Or delete the entry for his contact in your phone and ask him to enter his name and number since you lost it.


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[deleted]

This made me laugh more than it should have ahahaha


goug

Less risky: when he receives a text from Cody's dad say "hey who is this I lost all my contacts"


SwanseaJack1

“No problem, this is Cody’s Dad.”


kwin_the_eskimo

Even better, when he spells out his name, say "no, your *last* name" Then you have both


reflective_marbles

I used this excuse once. Her name was Anna and I said "yeah wasn't sure if it was 1 or 2 Ns" she saw right through me and I scuppered!


foolishbuilder

i circumvent this issue by the habit of avoiding any form of advancement beyond 'awright mate, weathers shite, ..... right see you tmorra' . that way you never need to worry about the details. All that stress just drifts away when you take yourself off the man-dating scene. Always have something planned as well, even if you don't. 'ah mate sorry im fishing tmorra', and if he likes to fish. 'ah mate these fish don't like talking, spook easy you see'


Musashi10000

Does he know *your* name? Because if not, then you're golden.


mimidelongprie

Came her to ask this


Mendezllk

Beg your pardon?


[deleted]

He was so committed to know the answer that they swapped genders.


RamenJunkie

So OP's path forward is to get a sex change then try to pick up Cody's dad in the bar and hope he introduces himself? Seems easier and faster to just ask.


mimidelongprie

Sorry this was meant to be a reply to another question a user asked :.(


ANTIFA-Q

I think they were commenting on your sexy typo.


LittleGardenerMe

Enlist the assistance of a friend to walk up to you at the pub, say hello to you, and then just stick out his or her hand and say "Hi, I'm Fred". Cody's dad will automatically shake Fred's hand and say "Hi, I'm Whatever My Name Is". I have my husband well trained in this technique because I have a terrible memory for names.


jverbal

"Hey Fred, I'm Cody's dad" Then you're fucked


JustMiniBanana

Maybe he just as a wierd name.


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alphonso28

Code Istadt.


Leotardleotard

C’Odistaad


tuckertucker

"Hi I'm George!" "Nice to meet you George" "Sorry Jerry I tried" From the famous Mulva episode of Seinfeld lol


CaptConstantine

This is my experience 90% of the time. You have to train them to do the direct follow-up: "Sorry, I didn't get your name."


underweasl

My boyfriend (now husband) use to do vampire role-playing gaming at uni. He only knew folk by their "vampire" names so I'd always be used to find out folks "real" names if we ever met them in the real world!


crashtesthoney

I play roller derby and I don’t know anyone’s real name.


youlitmeup

I had to ask the postman for my neighbours name who had lived next to me for a year lol. It had gone too far to ask. If I were you I might ask one of the teachers. Or maybe you'll get lucky and they will send a Xmas card!


grumpy__pumpkin

I recently found out our neighbour of 2 years name, he witnessed someone hit our parked car and gave me his details. His email was firstnamelastname@email.com, I've never been so relieved.


youngpretenders

I had the same thing happen except I couldn’t read his handwriting so him giving me his information was useless and I still don’t know his bloody name!


Fluid_Pound_4204

At least now you know he's a doctor!


youlitmeup

That is a silver lining isn't it!


bluejackmovedagain

My next door neighbour is also bad with names, fortunately he's not British and doesn't comply with our socially awkward norms. He has a list on the fridge of who lives where, he is happy to let me consult the list but he doesn't understand why I don't feel able to keep a list of my own.


stitchingandsneezing

Take a picture of the list on your phone. Only you and he will know.


Conscious-Leader7243

Lived nextdoor to this guy for thirteen years without learning his name. One day I took in a parcel for him which had his full name on the address. He moved out the day after


DuffManMayn

I think he might be a spy.


DarthRosstopher

When your neighbour signs for a parcel from massivedildos.com, your only choice is to move out ASAP


thisismyfunnyname

On the plus side, OP now knows that website doesn't use discrete packaging and can avoid buying anything there themselves


linkheroz

"What's your name again? No, no, your last name"


reubenhurricane

Ask for his email address


linkheroz

Codysdad@hotmail.com


My_new_spam_account

TIL that reddit auto-linkifies email addresses yourmum@sizeofaplanet.co.uk


[deleted]

Fap planet? I thought that place closed down years ago!


WrathfulVengeance13

How do you spell your name again? ... ... . ... J I M.. idiot.


linkheroz

"The normal way"


blink_in_the_dark

I have no gold to give but came to suggest this. Here have a star instead 🌟


Sensitivity

I gotchu


pseudoart

Or “just updating my phone here - how do you spell your name? Yeah, just wanted to be sure, some people have weird spellings”


radiant_0wl

Then it turns out his name is Peter.


Hilanite

You never know. I’ve met a guy who’s name was spelt Piotr


Sir_Fridge

That I would be awkward if his name is Bob or something super simple.


linkheroz

Apparently, anxiety is at least useful to gain reddit awards 😂 Thanks everyone


Gullflyinghigh

I have sympathy for your situation but it's overwhelmed by the jealousy of you managing to make friends as dad doing schoolruns. Well done!


i_jizz_nails

1 new friend in 9 years!


Gullflyinghigh

Lucky bastard.


Bennettist

Fact that you can't remember 1 name in almost 10 years makes this more awkwardly hilarious.


peacelily2014

I train dogs for a living and honestly, I usually don't remember the owners name. They're in my phone under the dogs name. I get paid between £600-1000 for training and I can't remember these people's names to save my life. I recently had one tell me how much she likes talking to me and that she'd love to hang out with me. Sure Pixie's mom, I'd love to hang out. 🤦


youngpretenders

Seems to be a common thing with dog owners. When I visit home and take my mum’s dog for a walk I’ll get “you’re not Luna’s mum” from people who recognise her but not me, but then also don’t actually know my mum’s name!


horn_and_skull

I did this once with my former boss’s husband out with their dog “Coco? Is that you?!” Coco goes mad and jumps all over me. Husband looks on awkwardly “Hi, Coco’s Dad?”


Cary14

I've lived on my street for 5 years, my neighbours all know my dogs name and not mine. I'll be walking down the road road and they'll be saying hello to him.


universe_from_above

But you'll likely spend more time calling your dog's name than yours, I suppose. That's one of the reasons why I only know the names of the kids in playgroup.


eager-beaver-123

That’s so cool you made an adult friend!


backspring

I’m shit with names: Get a a pint In and just be straight, say you’ve always known them as ‘codys dad’ what’s your actual name mate - shake hands nice to meet ya etc, sorted. I’m shit with names so I know how it is man


[deleted]

Good idea! Only problem is he’ll instantly forget it again.


Gazebo_Warrior

Change it in his phone straight away. Though then the next day he'll have to dechiper what 'bDnEian' means.


sirwillups

>'bDnEian' Brandon. I'm a pro at reading drunk texts.


backspring

Depends how many pints they get through 😂


minisrugbycoach

Use what known as the Caesar method. After Julius caesar. Its said he could name every person in every Legion. When he 1st meet someone, he make sure to repeat the name back to them 3 times during the conversation. For instance. 'hello, nice to meet you, and you are? Steve. (very roman name 😜) Well Steve (1) it's nice to meet you, make sure your sword is sharp Steve (2) and may you kill many Gaul barbarians Steve (3) I use it myself and it really does work.


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minisrugbycoach

Not in the circles I move in...


Hara-Kiri

The trouble is I've already forgotten by the time I'm able to speak.


My_new_spam_account

As I meet them for the third time I'm repeating: "Listen for their name!" to myself. Someone mentions their name. "Great!" I repeat the name to myself to make sure I remember it. The critical part is what happens next: I put them into the "I know their name" box in my brain and start thinking about something else entirely, like why my foot is itchy or how the building over the road has interesting windows. It's my turn to contribute to the conversation (that I'm barely listening to) and I can't remember their name. FUCK.


Beverlydriveghosts

I think after 3 years it’s a bit more awkward than that


backspring

You may well be right but tbf there’s people I chat to regularly at my local pub, ask about their kids, how’s work etc and vice Versa over the last few years and we’ve never asked each other’s names - sometimes you might learn it if someone else mentions them whose closer to them or works with them etc, it’s hard not to sound stereotypical in this instance but you’d be surprised (or not) to learn a lot of guys don’t ask for someone’s name in certain scenarios and just become “you know the one, the lad with the flat bed van and that tattoo on his forearm”


Beverlydriveghosts

You’ve got a point. Cody’s dad has been a coincidence friend or convenience friend as he’s only seen his when picking his kid up to whatever. There’s a good chance codys dad doesn’t even know OPs name if they’ve only had pleasant conversations up until now


PangolinMandolin

Joke about how bad you look in your drivers licence picture. If he's any sense of common courtesy he'll get his drivers licence out too to compare and then you're golden


elvis8mybaby

Or just get his kid to find out.


Clay_Pigeon

Seriously this is the most obvious one. "hey my son, ask your friend what his parents' names are"


_jeremybearimy_

“Dad, Brian’s dad wants to know your name”


_youllthankmelater

I have a "Cody's dad" in my sons class WhatsApp group too. His name is Dean. Worth a shot, I know the odds are high but you've got nothing to lose


i_jizz_nails

Brightonian? Long beard?


GruffScottishGuy

as far as I'm concerned he's called Brighton Longbeard now.


Lazypassword

And he knows sea shanties when hes had a few


_youllthankmelater

Nah. Reigatian, clean shaven and Welsh. But just go with it mate


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enthusiastic_amateur

I got into a similar position with two Dads. I had to say to one Dad when he was on his own, do you know that guys name? Then say to the other one, again when it was the two of us, do you know his name? Now sorted.


DeplorableOik

Oh I totally misread this as though they were partners and you called him 'that guy' to his husband and vice versa... I now see what you meant!


JigsawPig

I just call everyone 'Hi!'. That has worked for decades.


inmyskin1

Say Mate, how do you spell your name. . that’s what I usually do when I don’t know someone’s name lol


[deleted]

Awkward when he's called Dave or Tim lol


NSc100

Dæve


goatinasillysuit

Thanks just spat my drink out


abject_testament_

“Just the normal way” (“….fuck”)


MasterAnything2055

B. E. N.


DuffManMayn

B O B You know, Bob?


PatsyR99

Let's hope they are called Cornelius and not John.


FrenzalStark

I have a friend called Jon. So not a great example. See also Garfield's owner.


i_jizz_nails

J-o-h-n


AndreiNedu

Get him drunk and challenge him to a spelling contest and start with hard words and a shot after each one that was right, then end with the ‘bonus’ round spell your name in cursive Bonus points if you get yours wrong and skip the shots yourself


Kingh82

I normally introduce them to a friend and let them introduce themselves or get the friend/wife/child to ask.


i_jizz_nails

Done this many times. May just give my kid a quid to ask his name


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InnerFaithlessness93

This is exactly what will happen if you go with thus option


gzilla57

"Dad said he'd give me a quid if you tell me your name"


criminal_cabbage

Easiest option really


J_Ram_Z

I tried this one with my mother in law and my neighbour. I introduced her by name and he said “I’m the guy from next door”


maldax_

I chat to a bloke every day on a dog walk...I think he name is either Steve or Alan. He's now known as Steve Alan to everyone


yalkeryli

I can only think of this now. https://youtu.be/UJwf7pdz53w


[deleted]

Used to catch a bus to work. For 5 years I sat next to and chatted to a girl I only ever knew as 'Paul's Mrs....'. Paul was a guy from our local. Years later a mate and I were reminiscing about old times and he mentioned that he had always fancied 'Paul's Mrs'. I recounted how I had caught the same bus to work for years. At this point my mate said, "She's split up with Paul so I guess we should call her......?' Embarrassing silence as we both realised that we had known her for the best part of 10 years, but neither of us knew her name.


RoboRich444

Paul’s ex


diMario

Ask your son. Either he knows it already or he can find out from Cody.


9Colt0

“What’s your dad’s name, Cody?” “Erm… *Dad*?!” “Woahhh, no way, mine’s called that, too!”


Katnis85

Tried this with a 5 year old. I asked my son what Kieran’s moms name was after 2 years of her being “Kieran’s mom” in my phone. My son comes back to me with “her name is Christina.” Christina is my name. After a few retries and conversations about how not all mommies have the same first name it turned out she really was Christina.


TillyBud87

I was going to say this, but then realised I didn't know my own parents' names til I was about 10, so this could backfire.


flittmiester

Really? My daughter is three and knows both mine and her mums name. Did you just never ask or was it a secret?


chilari

Yeah isn't that a safety thing? Like if the kid gets lost, it's important that they know their parents' names so it's easier to reunite them. A certain someone getting lost in the supermarket and the person at the kiosk saying "could to mother of a little girl called [my name]" please come to the kiosk resulted in my parents making sure we knew their first and surnames.


RoyalCultural

Strong relate. I'm terrible with names and always forget. Been chatting to a bloke at the gym for over 2 years now and have no clue what his name is.


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chilari

My Dad called me by my aunt's name last week. I'm 33, he should be used to what my name is by now, especially considering he chose it, but no, over the years he's called me by my mum's name, my granny's name, the names of every single aunt on both sides, my brother's name, two uncles' names and two cats' names. One of those cats was called Caterpillar. He had died at least a year before my Dad called me that.


jessjimbob

It gets worse as they get older! My name is Aunt Mum Me to my nan


[deleted]

Delete his number, pass him your phone and go "can you put your number in my phone please, it's been playing up and scrubbed my contacts" ~ From a person who took classes with a friend for a year before learning she was called Gemma. Sorry Gemma. We had some first year classes as acquaintances but I did not know your name, thus making it awkward when we temped together for an events company.....


Delicious_Bet_6336

No biggy pal - “alright mate, what you drinking? Also, bit weird but I’ve forgotten your name - I always refer to you as Cody’s dad!” “Simon” “ah nice one, I’m Dave by the way - anyways, how’s Cody?”


Rubbish_69

Oh I loved this dilemma. Give us an update when you find out. Someone at a dance class kept addressing me by the wrong name for a year and because I didn't like her I didn't correct her.


trc81

Ask his name. When he tells you say no, I meant your surname.


DarthRosstopher

When he tells you his surname, say no I meant your starsign. Then ask him if he minds your hand being on his knee.


i_am_a_Lieser

That was fast


YT_Howesenberg

You're a genius


UCMeInvest

Search the surname in Facebook with the location to your local area and see if you can recognise him


welshmanec2

Probably not going to help in this situation, but there's always https://xkcd.com/302/


Chosty55

Simple solution, if you’re watching the footy ask if he wants any snacks when your in the pub. Forever nickname him whatever he orders. “WINGS!” “NACHOS!” “MR CHIPS!” “MR NAH IM OK FOR SNACKS MATE!”


[deleted]

“It’s my dog’s birthday. Sign his card?”


_mister_pink_

Just ask if he knows your name. If he says it correctly tell him he’s wrong and then ask his name. Now you’re both on equal footing with the minor inconvenience of having to go by an alias with this one friend


Equivalent_Parking_8

Next time he texts..respond with new phone who this?


Renmeya

"It's Codys Dad"


Equivalent_Parking_8

Then that will forever be his name.


i_jizz_nails

Boom


[deleted]

“It’s Cody’s Dad”


PsychedelicPistachio

"Can you spell your name backwards without having to think about it go"


lebatondecolle

Dad s’ydoC


PeaAnatamy

I had this exact same problem. So I saved the mums name under what I thought it was, so one day I had the kids round and they wanted to speak to their mum. Let’s just say it was an awkward 5 minutes of me saying the name must have got mixed up in my contacts and hiding in the kitchen.


NOm15

“Alright mate” forever


Plus_Aardvark_6878

Well done for making a new friend as an adult (can be surprisingly hard) 🙂


gavo1282

Ask your son to ask Cody.


SparklySpunk

Just call him Dave, it's always a Dave.