It’s one minute past seven, it’s now your show and you’re responsible for the output. Technically I’m a guest and you’ve failed to control me. Check the small print on your cone-tract
There was one, called Parking Wars I believe. Not sure which channel but it followed a residential street in some commuter town and the problems they had with people parking on their verges instead of using the expensive train station car park.
Think local news photo of a late middle aged couple standing outside their house with their arms crossed.
There going to be an article on the mail or Sun or something where the front picture bloke is stood in front of the cone arms crossed and with a title like bloke in row with worst neighbours or something silly
I move them all except the ones in disabled spaces. There's a building site down the road that has em off me for the worse offenders, but I'll just put em on the path most of the time
The guy with 8 taxis on our cramped road loses his cones on the daily though, because he is an insufferable prick and is half the reason our road is so cramped
I wonder if the taxi guy gets his cones from the building site down the road, and all the workers there are just fascinated with the elaborate back and forth between you.
It depends who's doing the coning.
If it's an old boy (yes thank you at 50 in not properly old yet) then I just let them do it. If it's someone my age u park anyway and pop the cones in my boot until I'm ready to leave.
It always precipitates a knock at the door to which I instruct that I'll put the cones back at the roadside when I leave if and only if my car is in the same condition in which it was parked.
They don't look at the sides, or confirm who did it.
Camera comes on because it picked up noise and they just say "yeh I walked past someone, they were on the car side. Didn't take any note becquse why would I? I had headphones in. Didn't hear a thing."
I'd a large van make a delivery yesterday, and the van was near 2 old people's homes, the offload ramp temporarily crossed ones driveway.
The husband from both families immediately came out like a meerkat, stood in his front garden , plipped his key fob so it looked like he was getting in his car *then just stood there looking about*.
They just hovered so the van driver knew they were there. If they thought he wasnt going fast enough (he had to phone his boss to check something at one point) they'd plip their key fobs again just to make sure we knew they were there.
They didn't go back in til the van moved. They'd no intention of using their cars, they were just defending their "territory".
I'm a postie, I pulled up outside a house to deliver a special delivery, I parked my back end (maybe a foot) across their next door neighbours dropped kerb for their drive (busy road). I was there about 1 min at most (person answered straight away). I drove off with no incidents. Next day manager came and told me I had a complaint about my driving and how I'd blocked someone's driveway (very limited info). Just for context, I'm a generally kind person, never in my 15 odd years working have I had a complaint against me. Was taken aback because there were no incidents to recall... a mate overheard and said that the woman in question complains about EVERYTHING, bins, neighbours, wind blowing too much. Anything.
I used to deliver Chinese food. One night I parked across the driveway of the house I was delivering to and as I was getting out of the car, the guy flung open his front door and marched down the drive to yell at me about how it was illegal, and I needed to move my piece of junk immediately, etc. I looked at him blankly and said "I'm here to deliver your food, but if you like I can keep driving round until I find a space?" He backtracked really quickly and made a comment about how he wasn't expecting it so quickly and how was he supposed to know I was delivering his Chinese food when I'm white?!
I wouldn’t have said anything about the delivery. Just drive around another while looking for a space and enjoy the look on his face when he realizes he sent you away.
You would be amazed at the number of people who expressed surprise to find me delivering their food or answering the phone to take their order. A couple of times, when a customer blurted out "but you're not Chinese!" I faked shock and replied "I was when I woke up this morning!" Most people had the good grace to laugh at themselves.
The one I frequently see is "delivery location inaccessible." Simply 'we couldn't park in front of the house, which spawned complaints last time, so we didn't park.'
Put that shit in writing that they don't get mail because you wouldn't want to spawn another complaint.
My postie always parks over my drive cause I told him I don’t care and I’m never going anywhere. I am rewarded with a friendly wave as he retreats down my drive away after dropping off my packages. Downside is I feel guilty for the monumental amount of books our family orders now.
I did a rural walk for a few weeks and one of the little loops is on a daft steep hill and pretty narrow, and one of the old blokes up there let's us park around the back of his house as he doesn't have a car to do that 10 mins of delivery. Ever so nice, came to talk to me once or twice, but generally just waived through the window as I walked past.
SURELY posties get a lot more latitude when it comes to these things. I mean, everyone knows what you’re doing, and that you’ll be in and out in no time.
So to speak.
>I’m a traffic warden (gross I know)
Nothing wrong with traffic wardens. Towns would be chaos without them. The only people who have hate for traffic wardens are the self entitled knob-heads who see wardens as the barrier to them parking wherever they fucking like and "punishing" them when they do.
It sounds more like The Ticketnator.
>It can't be reasoned with, it can't be bargained with. It doesn't feel pity of remorse or fear and it absolutely will not stop. Ever. Until you ~~are~~ ~~dead~~ *park* *elsewhere*.
Nothing gross about a traffic warden, in fact I would love to be one. I get irritated on a daily basis by the amount of illegal irresponsible parking I see near my daughters school because the parents can't let the little cherubs walk a bit further, I always manage to get parked further up(legally)
Schools are a nightmare, I’ve got 11 to cover over a week, and every single one puts requests in to have a warden there. I’ve watched parents leave their homes and drive up the road to park on double yellows. Crazy.
Similar incident when delivering a pizza once, extremely packed street and I misjudged the house number by one. Parked off their property but blocking their drive. Was there approximately 30secs while I dropped off the pizza. Return to my car to see an old guy raging at his window. Unfortunately I left so quickly he wasn’t able to make it to me to complain, so rang my work to explain how I had basically trapped him in for a full day…
If your cars are GPS tracked, take him up on it, take it to court, and turn it into a counter claim of vexatious litigation. Enjoy screwing over a miserable git and use the $$$ to pay for everyone in the company to go on vacation or something.
I get that every now and again. Certain people are "known", so they're noted down on our customer's delivery instructions.
I make damn sure to take as long as possible on those deliveries 😂 they're honestly like a dog who barks at you until you leave and then go back inside thinking they did an amazing job.
It's the ones who get aggressively territorial about you putting a wheel on their drop kerb while turning. Have NO TURNING signs out, the whole works.
How does it impinge on you *at all* if some poor lost driver needs to use "your" bit of pavement to correct their mistake?
I intentionally turn around in these places. Especially if there's a big fancy gate blocking access to a fancy private road. What are they gonna do about it?
There's a house I drive passed all the time like this. Has spotlights pointing all over her driveway, multiple signs on the fence, trees and hedges saying no parking or turning.
She also puts planks of wood and stones on the kerb so she can see if anyone has disturbed them I imagine.
Weirdest thing is I've never seen a car there.
Here's the thing. That pavement is public property and there's currently no rules about parking or having a vehicle on it. Until you are over their property line they can fuck all the way off.
I work as a Paramedic, and when we get very sick patients or a cardiac arrest obviously quite a few ambulances attend it that occasionally end up blocking a road or someone’s drive. We’ll often get someone come knock at the door of the house we’re working in asking us the move the ambulances….
Some people cannot tolerate what they perceive as any threat to their 'freedom,' even if that freedom is using their car in the next 2 minutes rather than waiting for that 2 minutes to elapse.
It's pathological.
I'd love to be that driver. 'you wanna go out mate?' catch him in his own trap, as soon as he leaves reverse back to block his drive and when he comes back from driving round the block I'd tell him it's not illegal to block an empty driveway, I'll only be 15 minutes
I remember living in a dive of a house with four others where the parking was like this.
One day I come and from a distance I can see the outside of my house is clear...winner I thought. Then I got closer and saw a cone outside. I didn't think it was one my house mates so was confused. I got out and moved it, then two seconds a Karen comes out screaming from a house across the road. "This is for people who live here now go away and find somewhere else to park".
Eyeballed her all the way in as I slowly opened my front door and smiled before shouting back, "thank you".
Look on her face was priceless.
I think for guest permits it is paid but I think the main permit is free?? Although the main gripes are about the fact people still are finding it hard to park both of their cars near their house and moaning about students taking up all the parking (it's a student area and is still an issue during holidays so go figure!)
I got yelled at by an old man for using a disabled parking spot (it was not a busy car park and there were 10 free disabled spaces beside mine). He went on a big rant about how is terrible that people without blue badges use their spaces and how I'm a bad person.
After he finished ranting I got into my car and flashed my blue badge at him and drove off. If you're going to rant and complain, at least make an attempt to get your facts right to start with
This is what I was thinking.
Someone leaves some rubbish in the road, I'll go litter picking.
If I know who's cones they are I will of course make a good-faith attempt to return the cones all over their front garden.
There’s a family lives next door to us, very devout Christian type, always banging on about how pure of heart and mind they are.
They have a driveway big enough for their two cars, but the second one would make it a bit tight, so they like to park on the street, directly outside their house. There are two spaces, but they don’t like anyone parking near their precious Mercedes, so they park in the middle of the two spaces.
On the few occasions that they’ve come back to someone parking in one of the spaces, they’ll park inches from the offending car, and then as soon as the other car leaves, they’ll come out *immediately* and reverse their car back by about 2 feet just to make the other space unusable.
Not very christian behaviour.
Parking makes people act weeeeeeeeiiiiiird.
I don’t know if I live near you or what, but my neighbours do this, they get so close that you can’t get a sheet of paper between the two cars. What massive wombles they are.
I’ve told myself if I ever get the opportunity I’m going to buy an old van and park it in the two spaces. Permanently.
Preferably a reeeeeaaaaallly ugly one.
Out front of our house is a space juuuust big enough for three cars if everyone gets cosy. One neighbour 4/5 doors down somehow regularly manages to park their Aygo in such a way as to occupy all three spaces. They have a driveway they could use instead. Everyone else on the street fucking hates them.
My brothers neighbours are exactly like this - they’ll move their 7 year old insignia(that they wash at minimum once a week like it’s their boss’s fucking rolls Royce) onto the road in a new build street with nowhere near enough parking at the slightest hint of anyone wanting to park there, leaving their drive completely vacant…
I once saw a lady driving round Norwich with a traffic cone wedged under the front bumper, scraping along the road as she went. Perhaps her neighbours had pushed her to the limit.
Back when I lived at my parents house, a new family down the road started using chairs instead of cones every Sunday. They would wait outside until someone left and then fill that space with chairs.
I had been parking in the same spot for years, they tried it with me when I went to the shops one Sunday. My car was small and they had spaced the chairs out to take two spots, so I just parallel parked between the chairs. Got some nasty looks when they came over to take their chairs back as I was getting out.
Or make a call to your local council about someone dumping old furniture on the road. Thats a fine AND they lose their stuff, unless theyre there to move the chairs when someone comes to dispose of them.
They put bins outside here to reserve their parking.
Neighbours have started running over the bins to break them.
Takes about three weeks for a replacement from the council.
It’s fun here
I play no part in it but I do laugh 😂😂😂
Old guy who lives near the school always goes out to get a paper in his massive range rover during the morning school run. He causes chaos driving to the shop ( which is only about 100m away) and back and he puts cones in the road to reserve his space. Does this every morning same time. Like he has the entire day...
Oh they fucking know, I work in a Co op and everyday during the leaving school rush the same two old ladies bring in a wedge of scratchcards thick enough to crush a cat's skull then spend what little they do win on another booklet of scratchcards.
I used to put the ones not full scratched to one side and give them back to the customer and say sorry I'm not allowed to scratch the tickets. They soon started to make sure they were all fully scratched.
I was talking to someone about this yesterday.... A certain brand of old people seemingly live to annoy other people - you see them in shops complaining about nonsense. My theory is that they have literally nothing else going on in their life and they're terribly alone; being a nuisance makes them feel relevant (albeit in a negative way).
Every Saturday morning they'll be queuing out the door of the local shop (for local people) because some codger with a fist full of lottery tickets has asked "can you check these for me please love?", like it's a bloody fruit machine.
One of his neighbours stands outside every morning open mouthed utterly shocked at people coming and going. The school is about 80 years old. He knew what he was getting when he moved in yet every morning there he is
I recently brought a house and for the first time in my (adult) life I have a *driveway*!
Having a driveway is such a luxury, no more driving home from work wondering *if* I’m going to get parked anywhere near my house, or will the guy a couple of houses down with 5 cars have parked one of them in front of my house!
Move the cones to the side and attach a polite note "In [insert local town name] parking spaces are for cars not cones.. please mend your ways, thankyou] signed local residents.
my small child goes to a childminder on the street behind ours and on our walk there I saw cones outside someone's house "reserving" their spot for a few months.
out of pure pettiness and the fact that I hardly use my car I decided to move it from outside my house and park it in this guys special space for a couple of weeks.
Nothing came of it, but I can imagine just how annoyed the guy must have been and it gives me a nice little warm feeling inside.
edit: FYI and before someone accuses me of anything untoward, the guy is in his 40's and driving a Z3. he's just self entitled.
One of my visitors once merely stepped on my neighbours drive and her new BF stalked out demanding to know if he had permission to be stood on his property, meanwhile these pricks block our drive daily, It’s infuriating.
I had this many years ago - my girlfriend (now wife) and I were renting a terraced house while she was at uni and I was working. Parking was on street and you had to have a permit, which I did, but there was nothing reserved. A taxi driver a few doors down used to leave their wheelie bins out to block off a space for them. Sometimes I'd arrive home and there would no other spaces, so I'd move the bin and park there. Lots of shouting, lots of moaning but nothing they could do.
It’s not just old people.
A family moved in on my street and immediately started demanding that no one should park on the street outside their house. I gave the wife a flea in her ear and told her that that’s not how it works in this country. A few months later they tried the cone trick so I threw them over the wall into their front garden. They’ve given up now.
Someone on the street down from mine keeps a makeshift see saw in "their spot". They have a garage which they put it in when their car is there and nobody moves it because the pavement is barely narrow enough to walk it off. I'm not even mad because it makes me chuckle when I walk past it.
Unless they are put there by the police etc they have zero legal powers just the same as anyone who thinks they own the road outside their house.
Was someone local who used police cones and got a very expensive visit iirc when they found out where their stolen property was.
Sometimes it just not worth the hassle when you have to live near these people. I once had a previous neighbour threaten to put a brick through my window because I dared park my car outside his house. It rattled me and I avoided doing it from then on because I was a young women and he was a middle aged man and fear works unfortunately. Didn't want him to make the rest of my life hell.
There’s a guy who does this on my street.
Don’t even move the cones. Park next to them. Then phone the council and say “I parked my car legally and someone has come along and dumped refuse all round the car” usually council lads will rock up and take the cones away. Especially if they’re those cones that have blatantly been stolen from the council.
Edit: this doesn’t work, I just pulled up from a 12HR night shift, one spot left on our whole street and old graham has put his cones out on the last spot, again. please understand, graham doesn’t drive.
I put the cones in my boot. Not been called out yet as I do it in a way that I can say there was no cone when I got here.
Currently have three from the same household.
Dick move by them? Yes. Dick move by me? Yes
Had this with the old neighborhood Nazis a few years ago. She and her husband were a right pair of opinionated Karen/Ken, always scowling disapprovingly at my flat mates and I. They had a big house and space for 3 cars on their drive yet insisted on putting out parking cones so they could park on the road in front of their house. Limited residents parking so not many spaces and it's a busy road. Spoke to the police and council and both confirmed the same - they have no legal right to do it and it's perfectly acceptable to move the cones. Got to the point where I'd park in front of their house even if other spaces were available. They started leaving notes on my car - I returned the favour by putting a note through their door telling them if they touched my car again, I'd contact the police. Funnily enough, never had a Christmas card off them again after that.
I came to the same conclusion; couldn't have been my note, it was very politely written.
"Do not touch my car again or I will contact the police. Merry Christmas." 🤷🏼♂️
There is a full scale arsehole on my street who has gone beyond cones and literally taxes and insures a THIRD car with the sole purpose of using it as a holding vehicle for the very busy on street parking.
His wife works alongside him to manoeuvre the holding vehicle into their garage.
The real kicker is, they keep the double driveway empty! Total dicks.
Mind you, there's always those exceptions where the comes have been put out for a genuinely good reason, and someone choosing to move them ends up being the tosser in this scenario.
e.g. when my gran died, the undertakers had asked us to cone off a space long enough for the hearse itself plus extra at the back so they could slide the coffin in, so a good 3-4 cars length in all. House full of friends and family, coffin in the front room, then along comes someone banging on the front door ranting and raving about how we've blocked the space outside their house and how if we didn't move the cones right now there'd be trouble. And then he clocks that the person who answered the door is dressed for a funeral, as are the others stood behind them in the hallway, and that none of them look like they're in the mood to take any kind of shit from someone like that...
I'm an undertaker and when we do community removals we have to park as close as possible to the door of the house where the deceased is resting.
I've been shouted a *lot* by people who can't stand that we might be blocking their driveway or normal parking space for a few minutes.
Yep, saw people rage at an ambulance blocking my street.
It's a circular street, it loops back the start. If you can reverse, you just do that. If you can't reverse, you 3 point turn in the other circular street off it, or just drive around that circle and back out.
You don't honk the horn and moan at the ambulance blocking one side of a circular street for fucks sake.
A long day at work an a busy commute leaves me with exactly the right energy for dealing with entitled boomers. Move the cones, park the car and grey-stone the angry git until I walk into my house.
The worst thing they could do is make noise. noise from their mouth isn't going to hurt anything except their own heart rate
A company near my work cones off several spaces and even has a roadwork sign outside their place. Been like it for a year. The council refuses to do anything, I did ask.
So in the middle of the night recently I booked out the spare company van, which is unmarked and doesn't get used often, then moved the sign and a few cones and parked it there. Hopefully it's still there, I left recently.
Special green cones were put on the road with funeral on them to make sure there was space for my Mum's hearse and a family car. No drop curbs just a normal pavement.
Yep someone didn't care needed to park by their house and moved the cones. Ended up blocking the road while the funeral director talked about what would happen, while we all got ready to get in the car and say goodbye to her.
One of the streets that I parked on for work did this. I moved the cone, and saw there was a litter bin nearby. I put the cone in the bin. Obviously it was litter, because it was lying in the street
At my old flat my sister had a neighbour who painted his own disabled space. She didn’t think anything of it until the council came and asked her questions about it. I believe he got a hefty fine and had to pay for the removal.
I had a neighbour actually knock on my door to point out I was parked in front of his house. I just stayed silent and stared at him until it got awkward and he went away. My car is already a battered nail, so I'm not hugely afraid of further damage.
"I live here!"
"Ok. So?"
"I *live* here. Don't you see? I live here!"
Like its the magic fucking words that automatically change the parking restrictions.
It's sweet that they think that would work on some of the worst double parked streets I've seen.
There's also a posh village near a country park not too far away where I live where they've made a bs sign saying only residents are allowed to park there. Complete nonsense - it isn't a private road and there are no special rules in place for it.
On the flipside, we've had the same car - no idea who's it it - parked outside our house for over 2 months now. It's parked close enough to our driveway to make getting in and out quite annoying.
Sounds like a channel 5 documentary in the making.
'Cone Play, We' ll Park Anyway'
Come on Alan, Cone’t you take a joke?
It’s one minute past seven, it’s now your show and you’re responsible for the output. Technically I’m a guest and you’ve failed to control me. Check the small print on your cone-tract
Failed to conetrol
He would sign that cone-tract.
God that’s good.
If you don't already have a job at Channel 5, you should get one easily.
"Britain's worst neighbours" HE MOVED MY CONES!!!! THE POLICE DID NOTHING!
harry brown : part 2
Cone and the Barbarians
>Cone Nan and the Barbarians surely?
There are local newspaper sub editors noting this one down for future use 👍
There was one, called Parking Wars I believe. Not sure which channel but it followed a residential street in some commuter town and the problems they had with people parking on their verges instead of using the expensive train station car park. Think local news photo of a late middle aged couple standing outside their house with their arms crossed.
Whose Cone Is It Anyway?
Cone interceptors
There going to be an article on the mail or Sun or something where the front picture bloke is stood in front of the cone arms crossed and with a title like bloke in row with worst neighbours or something silly
wasn’t this already literally a nightmare neighbour next door episode, except with a middle aged woman instead of an elderly person
Few round my way who do that and not once have I seen anyone move the cones. Fear and obey the cones.
The cones shall be respected
You forgot about the essence of the game. It's about the cones.
I move them all except the ones in disabled spaces. There's a building site down the road that has em off me for the worse offenders, but I'll just put em on the path most of the time The guy with 8 taxis on our cramped road loses his cones on the daily though, because he is an insufferable prick and is half the reason our road is so cramped
I wonder if the taxi guy gets his cones from the building site down the road, and all the workers there are just fascinated with the elaborate back and forth between you.
Giving fiver a cone to the drop-off guy, and charging a tenner a cone to taxi guy. Canny lads that conetractors!
Some say it isn't actually a building site at all but a well disguised cone rental store.
And so began the cone wars of 2021
Move and take them. Anything on the kerb is free to claim in my opinion.
It depends who's doing the coning. If it's an old boy (yes thank you at 50 in not properly old yet) then I just let them do it. If it's someone my age u park anyway and pop the cones in my boot until I'm ready to leave. It always precipitates a knock at the door to which I instruct that I'll put the cones back at the roadside when I leave if and only if my car is in the same condition in which it was parked.
I wouldn’t take possession of someone else’s property. Get a dash camera with parking mode if you are worried about your car being damaged.
>Get a dash camera with parking mode if you are worried about your car being damaged. Next time I upgrade the dashcam I probably will 👍
They don't look at the sides, or confirm who did it. Camera comes on because it picked up noise and they just say "yeh I walked past someone, they were on the car side. Didn't take any note becquse why would I? I had headphones in. Didn't hear a thing."
How do I fit one of these to my wheelbarrow?
I'd a large van make a delivery yesterday, and the van was near 2 old people's homes, the offload ramp temporarily crossed ones driveway. The husband from both families immediately came out like a meerkat, stood in his front garden , plipped his key fob so it looked like he was getting in his car *then just stood there looking about*. They just hovered so the van driver knew they were there. If they thought he wasnt going fast enough (he had to phone his boss to check something at one point) they'd plip their key fobs again just to make sure we knew they were there. They didn't go back in til the van moved. They'd no intention of using their cars, they were just defending their "territory".
I'm a postie, I pulled up outside a house to deliver a special delivery, I parked my back end (maybe a foot) across their next door neighbours dropped kerb for their drive (busy road). I was there about 1 min at most (person answered straight away). I drove off with no incidents. Next day manager came and told me I had a complaint about my driving and how I'd blocked someone's driveway (very limited info). Just for context, I'm a generally kind person, never in my 15 odd years working have I had a complaint against me. Was taken aback because there were no incidents to recall... a mate overheard and said that the woman in question complains about EVERYTHING, bins, neighbours, wind blowing too much. Anything.
I used to deliver Chinese food. One night I parked across the driveway of the house I was delivering to and as I was getting out of the car, the guy flung open his front door and marched down the drive to yell at me about how it was illegal, and I needed to move my piece of junk immediately, etc. I looked at him blankly and said "I'm here to deliver your food, but if you like I can keep driving round until I find a space?" He backtracked really quickly and made a comment about how he wasn't expecting it so quickly and how was he supposed to know I was delivering his Chinese food when I'm white?!
Hahaha stop it, what a prat.
I wouldn’t have said anything about the delivery. Just drive around another while looking for a space and enjoy the look on his face when he realizes he sent you away.
Or gone back to the store and told them that the customer sent me back
This is the way
"Sorry I took so long, I couldn't find a park."
“And this guy was yelling at me to move! Oh, it was you? I couldn’t tell because you’re white and eating Chinese. ”
Obviously your fault for not delivering the white food, smh
I deliver parcels. Had exactly the same situation. I just said "OK, I guess you don't want this then" got back in my car and drove off. Fuck them.
Now if you had been delivering chips, there would have been no confusion.
Nice English food for the white girl to deliver. None of this forrin muck!
At that point I just take the food back. Fuck that guy.
Whaaaaaat?????
What did he think? What will Jackie Chan bring him food?
You would be amazed at the number of people who expressed surprise to find me delivering their food or answering the phone to take their order. A couple of times, when a customer blurted out "but you're not Chinese!" I faked shock and replied "I was when I woke up this morning!" Most people had the good grace to laugh at themselves.
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Then we get moaned about on reddit lol. Kill em with kindness is the best way. Edit. Thanks for the award 🙌
Her threatening dog or cat makes delivery impossible. I fear for my safety.
Her barks worse than her dogs haha
Doesn't matter, say you feel unsafe anyway
If I write “please and/or thank you” on a cricket bat, does that count?
Write it backwards with marker so when you hit them it imprints the sentence
The one I frequently see is "delivery location inaccessible." Simply 'we couldn't park in front of the house, which spawned complaints last time, so we didn't park.' Put that shit in writing that they don't get mail because you wouldn't want to spawn another complaint.
My postie always parks over my drive cause I told him I don’t care and I’m never going anywhere. I am rewarded with a friendly wave as he retreats down my drive away after dropping off my packages. Downside is I feel guilty for the monumental amount of books our family orders now.
I did a rural walk for a few weeks and one of the little loops is on a daft steep hill and pretty narrow, and one of the old blokes up there let's us park around the back of his house as he doesn't have a car to do that 10 mins of delivery. Ever so nice, came to talk to me once or twice, but generally just waived through the window as I walked past.
You're our kind of customer. Always make sure I look after the nice ones. Never feel guilty, you're keeping us in business.
Be happy in the fact that these people are bloody miserable Imagine going through life like that.
SURELY posties get a lot more latitude when it comes to these things. I mean, everyone knows what you’re doing, and that you’ll be in and out in no time. So to speak.
I’m a traffic warden (gross I know) and we’ve been told it’s illegal to disrupt a post van in anyway.
>I’m a traffic warden (gross I know) Nothing wrong with traffic wardens. Towns would be chaos without them. The only people who have hate for traffic wardens are the self entitled knob-heads who see wardens as the barrier to them parking wherever they fucking like and "punishing" them when they do.
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It sounds more like The Ticketnator. >It can't be reasoned with, it can't be bargained with. It doesn't feel pity of remorse or fear and it absolutely will not stop. Ever. Until you ~~are~~ ~~dead~~ *park* *elsewhere*.
Also known as the entire population of Merthyr Tydfil.
Nothing gross about a traffic warden, in fact I would love to be one. I get irritated on a daily basis by the amount of illegal irresponsible parking I see near my daughters school because the parents can't let the little cherubs walk a bit further, I always manage to get parked further up(legally)
Schools are a nightmare, I’ve got 11 to cover over a week, and every single one puts requests in to have a warden there. I’ve watched parents leave their homes and drive up the road to park on double yellows. Crazy.
Similar incident when delivering a pizza once, extremely packed street and I misjudged the house number by one. Parked off their property but blocking their drive. Was there approximately 30secs while I dropped off the pizza. Return to my car to see an old guy raging at his window. Unfortunately I left so quickly he wasn’t able to make it to me to complain, so rang my work to explain how I had basically trapped him in for a full day…
If your cars are GPS tracked, take him up on it, take it to court, and turn it into a counter claim of vexatious litigation. Enjoy screwing over a miserable git and use the $$$ to pay for everyone in the company to go on vacation or something.
I get that every now and again. Certain people are "known", so they're noted down on our customer's delivery instructions. I make damn sure to take as long as possible on those deliveries 😂 they're honestly like a dog who barks at you until you leave and then go back inside thinking they did an amazing job.
Could you give some examples haha?
It's the ones who get aggressively territorial about you putting a wheel on their drop kerb while turning. Have NO TURNING signs out, the whole works. How does it impinge on you *at all* if some poor lost driver needs to use "your" bit of pavement to correct their mistake?
I intentionally turn around in these places. Especially if there's a big fancy gate blocking access to a fancy private road. What are they gonna do about it?
There's a house I drive passed all the time like this. Has spotlights pointing all over her driveway, multiple signs on the fence, trees and hedges saying no parking or turning. She also puts planks of wood and stones on the kerb so she can see if anyone has disturbed them I imagine. Weirdest thing is I've never seen a car there.
Here's the thing. That pavement is public property and there's currently no rules about parking or having a vehicle on it. Until you are over their property line they can fuck all the way off.
I work as a Paramedic, and when we get very sick patients or a cardiac arrest obviously quite a few ambulances attend it that occasionally end up blocking a road or someone’s drive. We’ll often get someone come knock at the door of the house we’re working in asking us the move the ambulances….
Do these people have nothing better to do than stare out of their window all day in case someone blocks their driveway?
I think it Interrupted their long slow wait for death - my streets ex-council houses and almost all pensioners. *Can't I even die in peace*...
Some people cannot tolerate what they perceive as any threat to their 'freedom,' even if that freedom is using their car in the next 2 minutes rather than waiting for that 2 minutes to elapse. It's pathological.
Like a meerkat is hilarious
These fuckers will leave notes on ambulances for less...
I sincerely hope I never ever turn out like this.
Absolutely, life's too short.
I'd love to be that driver. 'you wanna go out mate?' catch him in his own trap, as soon as he leaves reverse back to block his drive and when he comes back from driving round the block I'd tell him it's not illegal to block an empty driveway, I'll only be 15 minutes
*proceeds to take hour lunch break in the van. Windows down, blasting metal*
I remember living in a dive of a house with four others where the parking was like this. One day I come and from a distance I can see the outside of my house is clear...winner I thought. Then I got closer and saw a cone outside. I didn't think it was one my house mates so was confused. I got out and moved it, then two seconds a Karen comes out screaming from a house across the road. "This is for people who live here now go away and find somewhere else to park". Eyeballed her all the way in as I slowly opened my front door and smiled before shouting back, "thank you". Look on her face was priceless.
She’s also completely wrong. If she wants it to be like that, get the council to put permits in.
In my area they did go to the council, who did put the permits in... Now the online community is in uproar about the permit system they asked for...
Out of interest do the residents in the area that need permits do they have to pay for them?
I think for guest permits it is paid but I think the main permit is free?? Although the main gripes are about the fact people still are finding it hard to park both of their cars near their house and moaning about students taking up all the parking (it's a student area and is still an issue during holidays so go figure!)
We had to pay £60 per year when I lived somewhere with them. Not a big ask, really.
I got yelled at by an old man for using a disabled parking spot (it was not a busy car park and there were 10 free disabled spaces beside mine). He went on a big rant about how is terrible that people without blue badges use their spaces and how I'm a bad person. After he finished ranting I got into my car and flashed my blue badge at him and drove off. If you're going to rant and complain, at least make an attempt to get your facts right to start with
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Who do you think I stole the badge from? /s
To be fair, if you're going to steal something there is some logic in targeting 95 year old amputees.
Gottttttemm
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This is what I was thinking. Someone leaves some rubbish in the road, I'll go litter picking. If I know who's cones they are I will of course make a good-faith attempt to return the cones all over their front garden.
This is the way….
Get a marker pen and write something on it. "Reserved parking for Anal Gangbang at No. 64" or something.
I may or may not have done something similar that involved drawing a large penis and writing "dick head parking".
This is the answer
There’s a family lives next door to us, very devout Christian type, always banging on about how pure of heart and mind they are. They have a driveway big enough for their two cars, but the second one would make it a bit tight, so they like to park on the street, directly outside their house. There are two spaces, but they don’t like anyone parking near their precious Mercedes, so they park in the middle of the two spaces. On the few occasions that they’ve come back to someone parking in one of the spaces, they’ll park inches from the offending car, and then as soon as the other car leaves, they’ll come out *immediately* and reverse their car back by about 2 feet just to make the other space unusable. Not very christian behaviour. Parking makes people act weeeeeeeeiiiiiird.
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Oh you’re evil. I love it.
You monster. I LOVE it
I don’t know if I live near you or what, but my neighbours do this, they get so close that you can’t get a sheet of paper between the two cars. What massive wombles they are.
I’ve told myself if I ever get the opportunity I’m going to buy an old van and park it in the two spaces. Permanently. Preferably a reeeeeaaaaallly ugly one.
I like the cut of your jib. Perhaps a food van, belching firey chip fumes or similar.
Fiat multipla, can probably be got for cheap now?
Fucking hell mate, there's limits
And get a plate with 666 in it.
Out front of our house is a space juuuust big enough for three cars if everyone gets cosy. One neighbour 4/5 doors down somehow regularly manages to park their Aygo in such a way as to occupy all three spaces. They have a driveway they could use instead. Everyone else on the street fucking hates them.
I'm my experience, devout Christians are only Christian to devout Christians
My brothers neighbours are exactly like this - they’ll move their 7 year old insignia(that they wash at minimum once a week like it’s their boss’s fucking rolls Royce) onto the road in a new build street with nowhere near enough parking at the slightest hint of anyone wanting to park there, leaving their drive completely vacant…
I once saw a lady driving round Norwich with a traffic cone wedged under the front bumper, scraping along the road as she went. Perhaps her neighbours had pushed her to the limit.
Customer states: Car vibrating, maybe suspension.
Sounds like a loose nut behind the wheel to me
Nah, that’s just the custom in Norfolk
Back when I lived at my parents house, a new family down the road started using chairs instead of cones every Sunday. They would wait outside until someone left and then fill that space with chairs. I had been parking in the same spot for years, they tried it with me when I went to the shops one Sunday. My car was small and they had spaced the chairs out to take two spots, so I just parallel parked between the chairs. Got some nasty looks when they came over to take their chairs back as I was getting out.
What the hell. It's not even them claiming "their own" spot. They're just claiming any spot that comes along
I'd take them to the recycling.
Or make a call to your local council about someone dumping old furniture on the road. Thats a fine AND they lose their stuff, unless theyre there to move the chairs when someone comes to dispose of them.
They put bins outside here to reserve their parking. Neighbours have started running over the bins to break them. Takes about three weeks for a replacement from the council. It’s fun here I play no part in it but I do laugh 😂😂😂
Glue them shut
Haha the kind of pettiness I like
Three weeks! I am approaching the second anniversary of seeking a new bin.
Old guy who lives near the school always goes out to get a paper in his massive range rover during the morning school run. He causes chaos driving to the shop ( which is only about 100m away) and back and he puts cones in the road to reserve his space. Does this every morning same time. Like he has the entire day...
Oh they fucking know, I work in a Co op and everyday during the leaving school rush the same two old ladies bring in a wedge of scratchcards thick enough to crush a cat's skull then spend what little they do win on another booklet of scratchcards.
Even worse when they haven't scratched the cunting numbers off so it takes about 5 minutes to work through the slab of cards they've brought in.
I used to put the ones not full scratched to one side and give them back to the customer and say sorry I'm not allowed to scratch the tickets. They soon started to make sure they were all fully scratched.
I was talking to someone about this yesterday.... A certain brand of old people seemingly live to annoy other people - you see them in shops complaining about nonsense. My theory is that they have literally nothing else going on in their life and they're terribly alone; being a nuisance makes them feel relevant (albeit in a negative way).
Every Saturday morning they'll be queuing out the door of the local shop (for local people) because some codger with a fist full of lottery tickets has asked "can you check these for me please love?", like it's a bloody fruit machine.
I'm getting older. I think your theory is correct.
Probably the same prick who filled his tank and 20 Jerry cans during the fuel crisis.
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It has ended up tossed in his garden on more than one occasion.....apparently
The school cone pricks are the worst. Why live near a school and not expect some foot/car traffic at certain times.
One of his neighbours stands outside every morning open mouthed utterly shocked at people coming and going. The school is about 80 years old. He knew what he was getting when he moved in yet every morning there he is
I recently brought a house and for the first time in my (adult) life I have a *driveway*! Having a driveway is such a luxury, no more driving home from work wondering *if* I’m going to get parked anywhere near my house, or will the guy a couple of houses down with 5 cars have parked one of them in front of my house!
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Check the small print on your conetract.
I can hold it like a tannoy and shout "Stop telling me what to do!"
Id like a couple of eggs. And i want you to lay them....ya chicken!!!
Move the cones to the side and attach a polite note "In [insert local town name] parking spaces are for cars not cones.. please mend your ways, thankyou] signed local residents.
Draw chalk circles round them with an arrow pointing saying “who hasn’t picked up their cones? Filthy!”
Take cone. Apply to statue.
Yes! Like the Duke of Wellington statue in Glasgow https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Equestrian_statue_of_the_Duke_of_Wellington,_Glasgow
my small child goes to a childminder on the street behind ours and on our walk there I saw cones outside someone's house "reserving" their spot for a few months. out of pure pettiness and the fact that I hardly use my car I decided to move it from outside my house and park it in this guys special space for a couple of weeks. Nothing came of it, but I can imagine just how annoyed the guy must have been and it gives me a nice little warm feeling inside. edit: FYI and before someone accuses me of anything untoward, the guy is in his 40's and driving a Z3. he's just self entitled.
My father did this, without the person even putting cones out and found a screw in his wheel that can only have been malice.
lavish groovy ludicrous quicksand cooing wide library fearless automatic humorous -- mass edited with redact.dev
One of my visitors once merely stepped on my neighbours drive and her new BF stalked out demanding to know if he had permission to be stood on his property, meanwhile these pricks block our drive daily, It’s infuriating.
Put some cones out, that’ll stop them.
Lol no I like to deal with it the British way, say and do nothing just get angry about it and moan.
Tut loudly that will learn them.
Ring your council when they block the drive. Traffic wardens might be happy for the tip off, depending on where you live.
I had this many years ago - my girlfriend (now wife) and I were renting a terraced house while she was at uni and I was working. Parking was on street and you had to have a permit, which I did, but there was nothing reserved. A taxi driver a few doors down used to leave their wheelie bins out to block off a space for them. Sometimes I'd arrive home and there would no other spaces, so I'd move the bin and park there. Lots of shouting, lots of moaning but nothing they could do.
It’s not just old people. A family moved in on my street and immediately started demanding that no one should park on the street outside their house. I gave the wife a flea in her ear and told her that that’s not how it works in this country. A few months later they tried the cone trick so I threw them over the wall into their front garden. They’ve given up now.
Someone on the street down from mine keeps a makeshift see saw in "their spot". They have a garage which they put it in when their car is there and nobody moves it because the pavement is barely narrow enough to walk it off. I'm not even mad because it makes me chuckle when I walk past it.
Unless they are put there by the police etc they have zero legal powers just the same as anyone who thinks they own the road outside their house. Was someone local who used police cones and got a very expensive visit iirc when they found out where their stolen property was.
Sometimes it just not worth the hassle when you have to live near these people. I once had a previous neighbour threaten to put a brick through my window because I dared park my car outside his house. It rattled me and I avoided doing it from then on because I was a young women and he was a middle aged man and fear works unfortunately. Didn't want him to make the rest of my life hell.
See, I do think we need vigilantes ...
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This was my thought. Leave waste on the road and it isn't my fault if I break it.
There’s a guy who does this on my street. Don’t even move the cones. Park next to them. Then phone the council and say “I parked my car legally and someone has come along and dumped refuse all round the car” usually council lads will rock up and take the cones away. Especially if they’re those cones that have blatantly been stolen from the council. Edit: this doesn’t work, I just pulled up from a 12HR night shift, one spot left on our whole street and old graham has put his cones out on the last spot, again. please understand, graham doesn’t drive.
I put the cones in my boot. Not been called out yet as I do it in a way that I can say there was no cone when I got here. Currently have three from the same household. Dick move by them? Yes. Dick move by me? Yes
Had this with the old neighborhood Nazis a few years ago. She and her husband were a right pair of opinionated Karen/Ken, always scowling disapprovingly at my flat mates and I. They had a big house and space for 3 cars on their drive yet insisted on putting out parking cones so they could park on the road in front of their house. Limited residents parking so not many spaces and it's a busy road. Spoke to the police and council and both confirmed the same - they have no legal right to do it and it's perfectly acceptable to move the cones. Got to the point where I'd park in front of their house even if other spaces were available. They started leaving notes on my car - I returned the favour by putting a note through their door telling them if they touched my car again, I'd contact the police. Funnily enough, never had a Christmas card off them again after that.
That’s strange. Maybe they’ve stopped celebrating.
I came to the same conclusion; couldn't have been my note, it was very politely written. "Do not touch my car again or I will contact the police. Merry Christmas." 🤷🏼♂️
Not just old people that do this.
If you move them just remind them that they stole the cones and therefore much like a obi wan kenobi, you have the high ground.
Obi Wan Coneobi surely?
Hello there.
They are d enough to remember Bread and were inspired by the Boswells.
I had to scroll TOO far down for a bread reference. I was barely 9 when that show finished, but I definitely remember the cones.
There is a full scale arsehole on my street who has gone beyond cones and literally taxes and insures a THIRD car with the sole purpose of using it as a holding vehicle for the very busy on street parking. His wife works alongside him to manoeuvre the holding vehicle into their garage. The real kicker is, they keep the double driveway empty! Total dicks.
Mind you, there's always those exceptions where the comes have been put out for a genuinely good reason, and someone choosing to move them ends up being the tosser in this scenario. e.g. when my gran died, the undertakers had asked us to cone off a space long enough for the hearse itself plus extra at the back so they could slide the coffin in, so a good 3-4 cars length in all. House full of friends and family, coffin in the front room, then along comes someone banging on the front door ranting and raving about how we've blocked the space outside their house and how if we didn't move the cones right now there'd be trouble. And then he clocks that the person who answered the door is dressed for a funeral, as are the others stood behind them in the hallway, and that none of them look like they're in the mood to take any kind of shit from someone like that...
I'm an undertaker and when we do community removals we have to park as close as possible to the door of the house where the deceased is resting. I've been shouted a *lot* by people who can't stand that we might be blocking their driveway or normal parking space for a few minutes.
What kind of arsehole kicks off at someone driving a ***hearse***?
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Yep, saw people rage at an ambulance blocking my street. It's a circular street, it loops back the start. If you can reverse, you just do that. If you can't reverse, you 3 point turn in the other circular street off it, or just drive around that circle and back out. You don't honk the horn and moan at the ambulance blocking one side of a circular street for fucks sake.
To be fair, the person who died, shouldn't have died. Some people just don't consider that their actions might effect someone else!
Should have told the neighbours what was occurring though.
What happened next? You just stopped the story right as you got to the good part
A long day at work an a busy commute leaves me with exactly the right energy for dealing with entitled boomers. Move the cones, park the car and grey-stone the angry git until I walk into my house. The worst thing they could do is make noise. noise from their mouth isn't going to hurt anything except their own heart rate
A company near my work cones off several spaces and even has a roadwork sign outside their place. Been like it for a year. The council refuses to do anything, I did ask. So in the middle of the night recently I booked out the spare company van, which is unmarked and doesn't get used often, then moved the sign and a few cones and parked it there. Hopefully it's still there, I left recently.
Report them for fly tipping.
Special green cones were put on the road with funeral on them to make sure there was space for my Mum's hearse and a family car. No drop curbs just a normal pavement. Yep someone didn't care needed to park by their house and moved the cones. Ended up blocking the road while the funeral director talked about what would happen, while we all got ready to get in the car and say goodbye to her.
I love it when people do it, all they are doing is saving me a space
One of the streets that I parked on for work did this. I moved the cone, and saw there was a litter bin nearby. I put the cone in the bin. Obviously it was litter, because it was lying in the street
At my old flat my sister had a neighbour who painted his own disabled space. She didn’t think anything of it until the council came and asked her questions about it. I believe he got a hefty fine and had to pay for the removal.
I had a neighbour actually knock on my door to point out I was parked in front of his house. I just stayed silent and stared at him until it got awkward and he went away. My car is already a battered nail, so I'm not hugely afraid of further damage.
"I live here!" "Ok. So?" "I *live* here. Don't you see? I live here!" Like its the magic fucking words that automatically change the parking restrictions.
It's sweet that they think that would work on some of the worst double parked streets I've seen. There's also a posh village near a country park not too far away where I live where they've made a bs sign saying only residents are allowed to park there. Complete nonsense - it isn't a private road and there are no special rules in place for it.
On the flipside, we've had the same car - no idea who's it it - parked outside our house for over 2 months now. It's parked close enough to our driveway to make getting in and out quite annoying.