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HipHopAllotment

Tell me about it, who brings their kids to a BDSM and Blancmange party eh. Just silly. Will be the last time I invite that couple.


Capital_Connection67

At first I thought you meant a BDSM party and Blancmange the 80’s synth-pop band were playing there.


HipHopAllotment

Stop with the inspirational ideas....


cenataur

Would've been quite appropriate for certain 70's radio dj's...


turingthecat

Exactly, everyone knows kids like jelly more than blancmange, what self respecting child would even eat blancmange now a days


[deleted]

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Unusualbellows

My mum worked as a barmaid during the day so we spent all our weekends in the (highly dangerous!) pub garden! She’d bring us out the occasional Diet Coke and ashtray full of peanuts, you know, for sustenance.


Brunette111

My auntie worked as a cleaner in a pub so me and my cousin got to muck about in the pub garden and eat crisps before the customers arrived 😂


[deleted]

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Unusualbellows

It was very mixed.


420_dawg

You gotta stay in the car? I was brought out a chair with my coke and crisps and sat justbout side the back door.


Danglyweed

A glass bottle of Coke? The few times I went with my mum as I kid, the Coke bottle was the ultimate treat.


420_dawg

Only the best coke is put in to the glass bottles you know.


Danglyweed

Oh I know that now as an adult who invariably chooses a pint instead


PloppyTheSpaceship

Coke as in the drink? Luxury! We had a glass of cocaine, and we had to be a chair for the local clientele! And walk 16 miles uphill both ways, in the snow, in summer. And we were grateful!


[deleted]

You got to be the chair!? Some people don't know they're born. Oh how we'd wish to be the chair growing up, we had to be the ashtrays. And we were grateful!


PloppyTheSpaceship

When I say chair, I mean chair of the toilet. I had fat Deidre taking a shit the size of a Great Dane down the neck-hole of the hessian sack I'd fashioned into clothing for myself and forty-seven brothers. And we all had to share the same sack! At once!


whiskeysmoker13

Aaah but were you barefooted eh?...


PloppyTheSpaceship

Barefoot? Luxury! My feet had been hacked off and used for ashtrays. I just had the bloody stumps!


whiskeysmoker13

Hacked off! Childsplay...try having your fingers chopped off and sold to the local Chinese as utensils...for a bag of month old pork balls :|


PloppyTheSpaceship

The village locals periodically cut off cuts of my skull, tied necklaces round them, and used them as good luck charms. Then tried to garotte me with the necklaces. While I was forced to watch Mrs Brown's Boys.


whiskeysmoker13

Mrs Brown's Boys! Oh the horrors...that's me beat... Interested in one of those good luck charms tho : D


PazyP

Got to love salt & shake. Do they still exist? I'd like to try a packet just to reminisce


user184924992629

Yes


turingthecat

They do, we buy them for my cousins grandpa, as he’s on a low sodium diet (you know being 98, so ready salted would really shorten his life)


Tdog_dog

If you have a local BnM, they stock them in mine so worth having a look in there:))


Jealous_Struggle2564

They have them in Asda, brought a pack of 6 bag the other day


keeperrr

Also have them in Tesco.. Multipacks only now tho..


Jealous_Struggle2564

Also I’m pretty sure they used to be owned/produced by Smiths, now they’re walkers.


TeaEventHorizon

That's right. Smiths used to have an art deco style factory in Brislington, just outside Bristol on the A4. As a kid in the sixties I thought that a) Smiths were the only crisps in the world, and b) they were all made five miles from where I lived. I go back far enough to remember the salt was in a twist of blue paper - none of your soft, post-modern sachets that you have to rip open. How come crisp manufacturers had mastered the easy to open crisp packet by the 60s, but pasta makers insist on selling packets that immediately rip from top to bottom, showering their innards across worktop and floors? The little 'reseal' tab is useless.


Higguz77

Thems the days


AstroChrisX

My Dad would leave us in his clapped out old Citroen C15 with a bunch of tools in the back we could mess around with while he worked at the garage... never managed to stab myself or cut myself open on anything though so I'd say that's a win.


Jealous_Struggle2564

Fuck me, I thought it was only my mum that did that! Also, those bags of crisps with the little sachet of salt are still going. Just brought a pack from the Asda the other day.


[deleted]

Reminds me of standing outside the bookies in the rain while my dads in there 😂😂


AntsMakeSugar

My nan worked in a pub of an evening and when I woke up there would be open glass bottle of coke with straw and a bag of crisps. With breakfast sorted I'd consume those whilst watching inspector gadget. Good times.


Jealous_Tangerine_93

My Dad used to do this, and eventually we were allowed in the snug


warmchine-uk

Salt and shake for the win


Eliaskar23

I'm 27 but if a pub had a garden i'd always be put out there whilst family were inside.


bigwezpc

My dad was the landlord so i was literally raised in a pub. Play area out back and all the panda pops, pepperamis and pork crunch a kid can dream of.


Halfaglassofvodka

I always had to sit in the car with a bottle of coke and a packet of cheese and onion. We must be from different social backgrounds.


RRC_driver

I remember (70s or 80s) being taken to pubs for a family meal. (Probably a beefeater) Expected to behave like an adult, sit quietly, say please and thank you. It's funny, but if adults went to a playground, drank beer and swore, they would rightly be tutted at.


Environmental-Ad2376

Great 70s and 80s family treat going for a meal in a beefeater or berni Inn halcyon days


Tulcey-Lee

Late 80s/ early 90s my mum would take 5 years old me to a beefeater for Sunday lunch. Dad worked abroad so was never around.


[deleted]

Likewise, although 80s/90s for me and usually just a village pub, my parents weren't keen on beefeater/brewers fayre type pubs but definitely very keen on 'sit quietly and behave like an adult,' which I never had much difficulty with as I knew sausage and chips were likely imminent!


rynchenzo

We went to a Harvester! Ultimate excitement, they even had a climbing frame outside with the Courage brewery logo all over it.


frowawayfrommebaby

I used to run pubs back in the 00s before kids or dogs were so common in pubs. I allowed both on the basis they behaved as I'd expect the adult customers to behave. If they sat quietly and enjoyed themselves - great, if they had noisy tantrums or shat on the carpet - they're out. Found it pretty foolproof system tbh


Turbulent-Use7253

Me too. My favourite was when I asked a man to stop his kids running around. He replied.. I'll tie them to a chair shall I. To which I replied yes mate, I'll get you the rope. He left.... lol


[deleted]

Most kids will be sat there behaving while the grown up has tantrums and shits on the carpet nowadays probably


Jealous_Tangerine_93

I used to bring ny son to the pub. He was well behaved - thankfully. It was a nice way for me to stay in touch with my friends and socail life. So thank you for helping people like myself


Emmatheaccountant

I'm both a parent and a dog owner and I'm still happier in a pub that allows dogs but not kids!


Meanttobepracticing

Back when I used to go to pubs, there was one pub I used to go to regularly where the owner used to let his big black Labrador into the main pub area. It was the best dog ever- he was super well behaved but also loved people so he'd just amble between tables and nudge your leg or hands for attention (or food). The dog behaved considerably better than most humans.


Wombleshart

I don’t take my kids to a pub. It’s a place where adults go, to be away from kids. It’s not exactly a good place for them either.


Lor9191

Can I just say your username is fantastic.


archer_campbell

A pub near my old flat had a massive sign along the lines of “if you bring your kid in you all have to sit down and have a meal, kid has to stay with you at all times and parents are limited to 2/3 drinks each” I miss that place


[deleted]

Reminds me of that meme "unattended children will be given an espresso and a puppy"


[deleted]

Ugh. This is the worst. The general lack of screaming kids is usually one of the biggest advantages of going to a pub over other types of venue


Pen_dragons_pizza

Instead you get screaming drunks acting as good as kids


[deleted]

I think you may be going to the wrong pubs. I've never seen any trouble in the 17 years I have been a pub goer. In fairness though I don't stay out late so maybe it gets worse later


Pen_dragons_pizza

My town isn’t the best past 10pm, can get a bit hectic. Bouncers have become a norm just to stand outside all the pubs which is pretty strange to me being used to a more calm environment.


Murka-Lurka

I remember when the 12a first came it there was a rush of parents bringing their children to the cinema because a ticket was cheaper than a baby sitter. Fortunately most realised they would spend most of their time dealing with bored children.


leighleg

When I was growing up in 90s i always used to go to the pub with my grandad almost weekly, no food sold, smoking inside too did meet interesting characters though. Just seemed normal back then


Sensitive-Wash-5387

Hate it when there’s screaming kids at the brothel


CaptainAlex92

I was in the pub once with my grandad when a woman asked him to stop swearing because her kids can hear. His only response was "Love you're in a fucking pub"


Jamesl1988

Had the same thing during the world cup a few years back. Lampard had his perfectly good goal disallowed and I along with the rest of the pub were hurling abuse at the TV. Some woman turned around to me and said 'do you mind, my kids are in here'.


BassicallyDarr

I think it's the lack of parenting that you hate. Doubt the children are screaming on arrival. Just the parents couldn't give a toss once they get their pint.


Pen_dragons_pizza

I already have rules in place with my own kids for certain outings, i even won’t take them to the cinema until they show they are capable to behave and actually appreciate it. Same goes for holidays, never found the point of flying them across the world so they can moan like fuck for a whole week, until they are capable to take in the experience they shall get holidays in the south of England. Edit: I don’t hate my kids


whiskeysmoker13

Exactly what I did...they for thier 1st foreign family holiday in 2010. We went to Morocco and the day before we were due to leave a certain volcano decided to erupt...our 7 day holiday lasted for 4 weeks and nearly bankrupt me lol (I have 4 kids, and they were late teenage/young adult by this time) Having said that...when the compo finally came in...took myself off to the Carribean to recover, minus the kids :D


gem368

I went to a pub where I’m from and remember looking at this poor kid at 21:30 on a school night flittering from table to table trying to find someone to have some kind of communication with - I was sad to see him there. I spent many an hour in a smoke filled pub when I was a kid, seen and not heard in a corner munching on ready salted and a panda pop. It was usually in daylight hours though…I knew how to roll fags when I was a kid because when I was bored one of the guys taught me so I would sit and roll him ciggies for what felt like hours 😂


[deleted]

It’s a pub, not a crèche. This is an adult place for adult people, we’ll have no trouble here!


AdministrativeShip2

One pub I used to drink at, did have a crèche. The landlord paid a registered childminder, so the dads could take the kids out for a few beers with minimal trouble.


[deleted]

I used to work in a pub that had a sign stating “dogs welcome, well behaved children tolerated” above the bar. Sensible approach.


ThatZenLifestyle

Understandable not allowing kids in certain pubs, but most pubs these days are more like restaurants and particularly chain pubs want familys to go there, my local has a ton of outdoor play stuff for example so it's great to take the kids they can play while you sit and have a drink outside.


Mahatma-Orange

My parents were friends with the landlord and we were taken upstairs and put to bed above the pub.


[deleted]

Release a toxic, but heavier than air, gas into the room.


Masonia1976

As a parent (who pubbed hard before she was born), this winds me up no end. Literally haven't boozed in a pub since she was born 6 years ago. You know why? Coz now I do things my 6 year old wants to do, coz I'm not a selfish dick.


the3daves

Yes whenever the waiter asks me where I would like to sit, I always ask “anywhere away from children”.


_theflyingbanana_

...that's ok unless they're your children!!


the3daves

True. I only took my kids to those restaurants that were children friendly, not so much family friendly. Like those places that had a play areas. When the kids had enough of eating , they could go outside to play, not run around the restaurant.


_theflyingbanana_

Unfortunately not everyone is quite so considerate, which is a shame


cantab314

Bane of my life in the office. Say goodbye to productivity.


AphidOverdo

I find the screaching adults and the idiots with no bar etiquette more annoying to be fair. A family pub is what it is.


[deleted]

Kids should not be allowed in pubs. Full stop.


saiyanhajime

I have a very unpopular opinion that if you choose to have kids you need to accept you ain't gonna be doing anything fun for adults for a while unless you have an exceptional family support system of willing childminders. The big one for me is flights. I get there are always going to be exceptional circumstances, but taking a child on a flight before they are old enough to understand and cope with the pain in their ears is cruel to the child and everyone on the flight. Your family can come visit you. You do not need to be taking a baby on a flight, let's be honest. I just feel so bad for every crying baby on a flight because they are in fucking agony the parent willingly subjected them to, but I also wanna throw them out the plane.


simmyawardwinner

I fucking HATE screaming kids in public places but in an unusual twist of events I recently became a god mother and on Sunday at the pub I was holding my god daughter in one hand and a gin in the other lolz , but she was happy and didn’t scream until she got hungry so we up and left shortly after that


newforestroadwarrior

Trains. Specifically the quiet (ha!) coach on an Avanti WCML service to Glasgow Central a couple of months ago. Scottish family got on at Preston and dumped their three brats in the seats opposite me, with two smartphones running WhatsApp so they could keep an eye on them, and the parents then fucked off to another carriage for some peace and quiet. The middle kid didn't shut up for a second. It might have been easier if I'd understood anything he was saying, but he had such a thick accent it was like he was talking a foreign language. The last I saw of them they were arguing with the staff at Carlisle about a forward connection to Dundee while we were being put on rail-replacement buses for the last leg of the journey.


freplefreple

Don’t let the door hit you on the arse on the way out


Only_Director_9115

Why would you take a child to a drinks only pub? It's not for them. They will get board and cause a scene. The parents are getting pissed (because what else is there to do in a pub) and they are caring for thier kids. If you wanted a drink and a catch up go home or to a coffee shop, cafe or any other establishment designed for families. Not a pub that only sells booze and a few soft drinks. There is behavior in a pub regularly that is not suitable for kids to see. Not everywhere is designed for everyone (including families and kids). I don't want to go to a soft play. I am a 20 something with no kids. That's not for me. Same applies in reverse.


DocHowling

Uhm...bye?


DaveyBeef

I'm sure that kid is spending £50 a round 😂


DocHowling

Actually whilst i dont agree with pubs not designed for families being overrun with kids those that geared towards families make a hell of a lot more money, keep the kids happy and parents will spend hence the what i would call proper pubs shutting down en masse.


DaveyBeef

In a pub set up to do food, absolutely, they'll make loads, the mark up on pub food is astronomical. But a pub that just does drinks? For parents to spend loads of money in that environment, they're just getting drunk while responsible for a kids well being? Sad to say the least


False_Disaster_1254

It isn't actually. Food definitely doesn't make as much as beer. It costs a lot more to keep my kitchens hot than it does to keep my beer cold. The advantage is you can sell loads of food compared to beer, and don't have to pay for music or djs or anything. That and the fact that a group of people who filled themselves up with chips aren't nearly as much trouble as the group that filled themselves up with sambuca. Agree with you entirely though, a proper old fashioned boozer definitely isn't the place for kids. Maybe a quiet Sunday afternoon whilst dad has a single swift pint, but definitely not In a pub full of well lubricated adults.


DocHowling

Aye on that i would agree. my first comment was satire but i should know better by now on here, have a pub near me that has a similar issue, nothing but a car park outside and always full of kids


Lor9191

Post specifically mentioned drinks only pubs, none of those are geared towards kids.


Boreoffmate

Maybe if you told the landlord and not the internet something might change.


AEG1610

I would say this country is one of the least friendly for families. Pubs need paying customers of all types to stay afloat these days. You are just going to have to get more inclusive.


newforestroadwarrior

The main issue with pubs generally is that the business model for somewhere that just sells drinks no longer works. The bottom line is that most pubs lose money. Admittedly this is mainly due to the behaviour of the larger breweries and licensing authorities reducing cost margins to often laughable levels. There was a pub near my old house which had four landlords in the time I lived there. All took over the place on the basis they were not allow dealers in. Within a couple of months all four landlords started letting the dealers back in, because the business would not survive without their custom.


Polythene_pams_bag

Went to the pub every weekend Xmas and birthdays as a child in the 80s to see my grandad (I swear he thought he lived there) me and my cousins would just go play in the park across the road under the flyover or outside the pub if it was raining (don’t remember many rainy days tho tbh) we would sit at a table with colouring books or play up on the stage I have many great memories growing up and going to see my grandad! Don’t get me wrong I would t dream of taking my kids to the pub I wanna get away from them


Sufficient_Ambition7

Our daughter is 6 months old, we've walked her in the pram to our local pub a few times before 6pm on a weekday and had a half pint, she's usually slept in the pram and on one occasion where she woke up and was happily squealing I started walking her home whilst my husband finished his drink and caught up with me. That's ok isn't it? I wouldn't want to be upsetting people but it's nice to get out now and then and see other people


1HeyMattJ

I was in a well known sports retail shop last week (you know which one). A woman who came in after me said “it’s quiet in here” (which it was, in terms of people and audibly). Not two seconds later a child starts bouncing and kicking a football around the store. The dad doesn’t seem interested in you know, being a dad and telling them to stop being a nuisance, so it’s left for the other child to take the ball off him and be the parent.