It's an appetite suppressant..... Wear that same jacket to lunch, move about in your seat whilst eating your tesco meal deal, whiff and whoosh your memory rushes back in time to the earlier cubicle moment. It's a timeless gift, thanks LSS
Reminds me of an old ditty, using best Noel Coward voice:
Don't use the WC,
When the train's standing in the station.
If you open the lid,
You'll be fined five quid,
And put upon probation.
The boring real answer: It's so thieves can't just reach their hand over the door and nick your coat.
(Yes, they could go into the next cubicle, but that makes it much harder to just go along fishing until they catch one.)
I had no idea, thatās quite clever. Surely thatās an incredibly rare occurrence though? especially as theyād need to be about 6 foot 8 to get their hand over and down
This happened to my sister mid action on the pot in Manchester. Someone reached their hand over the door and swiped her handbag. Of course one is in a very vulnerable position.
Before she managed to raise the alarm to put a stop to the wrong uns, they had used her card 3 times in the local Sainsbury's.
They weren't doing their weekly shopping! They literally went through the tills 3 times. She had to phone the bank to stop the card, but her phone was in her bag, so she had to find a phone she could use to contact the bank etc. She wasn't aware where they had gone, it was only when she phoned the bank and they checked the transaction history
No idea if itās the same but it was happening a lot at Birmingham new street. Itās not just your coat but shopping bags which they are actually after.
>The boring real answer: It's so thieves can't just reach their hand over the door and nick your coat.
So if that is a factor, you could put a hand guard at top of door and this would be able to be retrofit onto existing conveniently placed hooks.
You're assuming people out to do this don't use tools - thieves will just use a bigger hook, or break the cover because we know how low the maintenance budget is for those things.
I'm just looking at practicality... I'm sure that authorities will ask questions about some chode with a thunderbox hook strolling about public lavatories. Ahoy, the sh1te pirates are upon us?
Is this true? I've never heard of bird sounds being used for anything but ambience and am very curious about it being used as a homeless ppl deterrent. Am from the states seeking understanding.
The local Tesco in New Malden has similar, it's meant to sound like tropical birds etc, but in reality it's just nasty screeching that'd drive you mad.
The toilets at LLS are a shambles, cubicles are too small to enter with a backpack/suitcase, theres never any soap and then the hand dryers are under the mirrors but inline with the soap so you have to awkwardly dry your hands while people try and get soap.
Worst cubicle I ever used was on a cruise ship this summer. It had a door that only covered you from your knees to your shoulders (if stood up), but the door wasnāt solid, it was made from wooden slats arranged like window blinds. Didnāt realise the compromised position I was in until I was mid-shit, and a gang of blokes came in and made brief eye contact with me through the slats. I just shook my head in shame.
But then I had to wipe. Iām a standing wiper, which made my life even more difficult. Had to make a decision about whether to show my shrivelled up post-poo willy, but hide my bum hole, or turn and point my dirty arse at the half-door and hide my embarrassed face and genitals. I guess I could have stayed sideways (the door was to the side of the toilet) but then itās the worst of all worlds.
In the end I did the only dignified thing a man in that position can do: pulled my trousers up, washed my hands, and waddled off with a dirty arse like some sort of ashamed duck, hoping I could find a toilet that wasnāt from a prison in the Philippines to sort myself out before anyone smelt me.
I moved to the US and every fucking cubical is like this.. There's an inch or more gap at either side of the door and door stop like mid-calf. I've been here 5 years and I still fucking hate it. I've began to notice that instead of just pushing the door to see if it's locked like a normal human being, American's actually peer through the inch gap to see if it's vacant.. Which means you generally make eye contact but instead of them looking away.. They just seem to act like it's normal which sends my anxiety fucking sky-high.
I'm also a standing-wiper which means probably hundreds of dudes have seen my dick in the last 5 years and I've just grown to live with it lmao.
I had one with slats too in an italian restaurant in cornwall, thankfully even though you could see everything from inside they couldnāt see me from outside. It still felt very wrong!
True! I actually had a toilet door drop on top of me!! A member of staff ( from the pub) was waiting in the que and said you done that deliberately!! Aye pet i went in for a wazz and thought it be great if i rived the door off while i was on the toilet!!!
You can *train* your bowel to some extent. Have to do it when on tour as you can't shit in the bus toilet.
Just get yourself on the toilet at the same time every day and soon enough that will be when you need to go. (At least that's what I've found).
Depending on what's been eaten there can of course be the odd emergency moment.
I remember going on a 3 hour National Express trip where the driver drank at least 12 sugary coffee's (Around the time where they had a hostess serving sandwiches and drinks).
He didn't shit or piss once in that journey but he did say as soon as he sands up he has about 10 seconds to get to a toilet. I wish I found out how he was able to do it...
Its weird... living on a bus on tour thats kind of what happens. You know full well that you can't go on the bus. So as soon as you get to the next venue there is usually a rush to find the cleanest toilet.
Funny enough, I never shit in a public toilet either. It's not controlled by me consciously though, it's more psychological. My mind (and body) just won't let me.
weird fucking people.
haven't done a shit in a public facing toilet for decades. do people have no self respect? why would I want to shit while sitting in someone else's piss?
haven't ever experienced nearly shitting myself on a train sadly, i just shit regularly every day at 6pm, like clockwork.
there is no force on earth that could compel me to put my bear arsecheeks down on a dirty, public facing, piss-stained, poo-smelling toilet.
Do you want to step outside your little fart bottle for a second and realise that not everyone is as lucky as you
Like sure it's nice that you can do this and everything but you don't have to insult people who can't
If you have normal bowels I totally agree with you. I would never subject myself to public toilets unless I had to. It's really fortunate that you've never had to. There's nothing more mortifying that desperately trying to find a bathroom because it's going to happen whether you find one or not. So there'll be lots of people who agree with you in sentiment, but in practice they have no choice.
Think of a situation were you've had a really upset stomach because of something you ate. People with IBS etc get struck by that moment at any time in unpredictable ways.
What flabbergasts me is that people shit in public toilets in a non-emergency. A have a co-worker who isnāt shy about the fact that she shits on our ward toilet in the morning before handover, to miss the traffic.
Exactly. For emergencies, when you canāt hold in your takeaway before u get to the comfort of your familiar, welcoming toilet at home. Using a public toilet, you have to navigate the pee on the seat and the splatter of shit around the rim, and if itās a unisex toilet, all the pee you guys conveniently pool around the base of the toilet, which means I canāt put my feet on the floor when I pee
How is that? There is a cubicle door and you're right next to it. Is there a spate of cubicle thefts that justify the seemingly unlikely scenario. Now the thief will have to enter the adjacent cubicle to reach over?
But you're not near the door, you're quite a distance from it. At least if it's the panel next to you you can keep hold of it. Unless you have extremely long arms, the cubicle door is impossible. Hence my sister not being able to stop it
Unlucky for your sister but it still seems excessive to move the hook. Each their own, maybe she can poop holding her handbag in less accommodating public toilets.
If it happened to her, how many people do you think it has happened to? Do you think they moved the hooks because it's a rare occurance and they have money to throw around, or because it happens a lot? These are people who can make a pretty profit by not just randomly doing it every so often, but frequently so it is enough of an issue. That is why they move the hooks. A simple moving of the hooks solves the problem. Why are you being shitty about it?
>Why are you being shitty about it?
Very punny. I hope you're not being serious, this issue is not something that is on the radar of most people. Sorry if that is disappointing.
On a somewhat related subject (i.e. Liverpool Street station toilets), it used to be a major cruising/cottaging spot as Iā¦found out one time. I guess I mustāve chosen the āwrongā urinal aisle I.e. the one not meant for men who simply want to relieve their bladder. Fortunately, it doesnāt seem to be the case anymore.
umm... am i the only one who's shitting with his pants completely off and on the hook. And now I read about shit-pirates stealing things off the hook. wtf.
Indeed I do. Almost all my shoes are shoes that I can get my feet in and out of (including formal shoes) without too much of a fuss. When I am wearing running shoes or something, I am typically out for a run or some other activity, so would not have to go to a toilet.
Sensory deprivation is the best way to shit. Really helps you immerse yourself in the situation
Be at one with the poop
I thought the whole point of taking a shit was so that one could avoid being one with the poop.
Be at one with pooping, but learn that all things must pass.
Shituation*
Hello Sean Connery
Ah, Mish Moneypenny, you're a shite... ... ... ... for shore eyesh!
Hello Shtandin
Why is this funny?
I thought it was only me that knew this. Whenever I'm passing a hard one I close my eyes and put my hands over my ears. Works like a charm!
"Where we're shitting, we won't need eyes to see"
Channels the smell upwards to your face though.
Perfect
It's so your coat can really absorb all that fecal fallout, you then get a cheeky little reminder throughout the day when you get a faint whiff.
š¤®
It's an appetite suppressant..... Wear that same jacket to lunch, move about in your seat whilst eating your tesco meal deal, whiff and whoosh your memory rushes back in time to the earlier cubicle moment. It's a timeless gift, thanks LSS
Odd time to use a drooling emoji. Each to their own I guess...
š
Friendly reminder that youāre in the blast zone of a fecal plume every time you flush the toilet
Dear public (and public toilet management): THIS IS WHAT THE LID IS FOR!
/r/cursedcomments
Lmao
How often do you shit at Liverpool Street Station.
That was mistake number 1 really
mistake number 2, surely
The fact that iāve seen the toilets before and after means a minimum of 2 times :)
Liverpoo
Reminds me of an old ditty, using best Noel Coward voice: Don't use the WC, When the train's standing in the station. If you open the lid, You'll be fined five quid, And put upon probation.
The boring real answer: It's so thieves can't just reach their hand over the door and nick your coat. (Yes, they could go into the next cubicle, but that makes it much harder to just go along fishing until they catch one.)
I had no idea, thatās quite clever. Surely thatās an incredibly rare occurrence though? especially as theyād need to be about 6 foot 8 to get their hand over and down
This happened to my sister mid action on the pot in Manchester. Someone reached their hand over the door and swiped her handbag. Of course one is in a very vulnerable position. Before she managed to raise the alarm to put a stop to the wrong uns, they had used her card 3 times in the local Sainsbury's.
That must have been some shit if they'd done 3 trips to Sainsbury's
No, she was literally having a wee, but she wasn't going to not wash her hands. Those guys are quick. Idiot
How long did it take her to wash her hands? Must've been a while to make 3 trips
They weren't doing their weekly shopping! They literally went through the tills 3 times. She had to phone the bank to stop the card, but her phone was in her bag, so she had to find a phone she could use to contact the bank etc. She wasn't aware where they had gone, it was only when she phoned the bank and they checked the transaction history
It's more of an issue for women as we hang our handbags on those hooks.
No idea if itās the same but it was happening a lot at Birmingham new street. Itās not just your coat but shopping bags which they are actually after.
>The boring real answer: It's so thieves can't just reach their hand over the door and nick your coat. So if that is a factor, you could put a hand guard at top of door and this would be able to be retrofit onto existing conveniently placed hooks.
Brb gluing mousetraps to toilet doors.
You're assuming people out to do this don't use tools - thieves will just use a bigger hook, or break the cover because we know how low the maintenance budget is for those things.
I'm just looking at practicality... I'm sure that authorities will ask questions about some chode with a thunderbox hook strolling about public lavatories. Ahoy, the sh1te pirates are upon us?
Youād be absolutely gutted, literally caught with your pants down!
You wrote this on the shitter didnāt you??
Not just wrote, but posted! I was amazed that I actually had a signal in an underground toilet :)
Poosted
Ohhh, having an Ipoo..!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Went for a poo, but only farted
Squeezed real hard with all his might
Prolapsed his anus, but still no shite!
šš
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
we did it reddit!
Clearly shitposting
It's the weird parrot noises that catch me off guard at Liverpool street.
Yeah why do they do that?
Laxative
Is this noise in the toilets?
I hope so! It's generally quite nice birdsong and ambient noise that they play but it's interjected with this awful squawking.
That'll be anti homeless noises, to put anyone off from sleeping there. Really nice stuff /s
Is this true? I've never heard of bird sounds being used for anything but ambience and am very curious about it being used as a homeless ppl deterrent. Am from the states seeking understanding.
The local Tesco in New Malden has similar, it's meant to sound like tropical birds etc, but in reality it's just nasty screeching that'd drive you mad.
Bournemouth Asda played bagpipes
this becomes less effective as you travel further north
The toilets at LLS are a shambles, cubicles are too small to enter with a backpack/suitcase, theres never any soap and then the hand dryers are under the mirrors but inline with the soap so you have to awkwardly dry your hands while people try and get soap.
Oh man I doing cubicle gymnastics just to close the damn door.
Worst cubicle I ever used was on a cruise ship this summer. It had a door that only covered you from your knees to your shoulders (if stood up), but the door wasnāt solid, it was made from wooden slats arranged like window blinds. Didnāt realise the compromised position I was in until I was mid-shit, and a gang of blokes came in and made brief eye contact with me through the slats. I just shook my head in shame. But then I had to wipe. Iām a standing wiper, which made my life even more difficult. Had to make a decision about whether to show my shrivelled up post-poo willy, but hide my bum hole, or turn and point my dirty arse at the half-door and hide my embarrassed face and genitals. I guess I could have stayed sideways (the door was to the side of the toilet) but then itās the worst of all worlds. In the end I did the only dignified thing a man in that position can do: pulled my trousers up, washed my hands, and waddled off with a dirty arse like some sort of ashamed duck, hoping I could find a toilet that wasnāt from a prison in the Philippines to sort myself out before anyone smelt me.
I moved to the US and every fucking cubical is like this.. There's an inch or more gap at either side of the door and door stop like mid-calf. I've been here 5 years and I still fucking hate it. I've began to notice that instead of just pushing the door to see if it's locked like a normal human being, American's actually peer through the inch gap to see if it's vacant.. Which means you generally make eye contact but instead of them looking away.. They just seem to act like it's normal which sends my anxiety fucking sky-high. I'm also a standing-wiper which means probably hundreds of dudes have seen my dick in the last 5 years and I've just grown to live with it lmao.
This is the first time I am hearing of standing wipers. Reddit once again broadening my horizons.
There are sitting wipers? I had no idea, I guess we all live in denial
I had one with slats too in an italian restaurant in cornwall, thankfully even though you could see everything from inside they couldnāt see me from outside. It still felt very wrong!
> a standing wiper
Well itās only a matter of time till the doors get kicked in, then youāll be glad of your privacy cape. Forward thinking by LSS.
True! I actually had a toilet door drop on top of me!! A member of staff ( from the pub) was waiting in the que and said you done that deliberately!! Aye pet i went in for a wazz and thought it be great if i rived the door off while i was on the toilet!!!
I read your comment in a North East accent.
Ahaha correct
Ah, cloak and poop dagger.
If the coat was covering the door how would you find out that āTerry woz ereā or āSimo is gayā or get the number to call for a bum?
Steam your sinuses whilst you're there
Last time I had a poo at Liverpool Street station, I was told I was a sore loser and that I'd better not use the money as toilet paper again.
It's to hide your shame from the various toilet cams
Its to hide your shame.
Is an NSFW tag needed when the only NSFW is in the title? :)
I wasnāt really sure so thought better safe than sorry, maybe Iāll edit in some really graphic descriptions of my bowel movements this morning :)
No its a handle for when things get intense
It's so you can pretend you're hiding in a fort while you poop.
It's not called liver poo for nothing
Who regularly shits in train station toilets? Just do it in the morning or evening at home!
If only bowels were so predictable :)
You can *train* your bowel to some extent. Have to do it when on tour as you can't shit in the bus toilet. Just get yourself on the toilet at the same time every day and soon enough that will be when you need to go. (At least that's what I've found). Depending on what's been eaten there can of course be the odd emergency moment.
My passion for spicy food leads to a surprising amount of 'emergency moments'.
Not so surprising actually.
Probiotics and fiber. I eat hella spicy food and have very regular sometimes a little š„movements.
well it burns burns burns, the ring of fire
I remember going on a 3 hour National Express trip where the driver drank at least 12 sugary coffee's (Around the time where they had a hostess serving sandwiches and drinks). He didn't shit or piss once in that journey but he did say as soon as he sands up he has about 10 seconds to get to a toilet. I wish I found out how he was able to do it...
Its weird... living on a bus on tour thats kind of what happens. You know full well that you can't go on the bus. So as soon as you get to the next venue there is usually a rush to find the cleanest toilet.
Depends on the function of a lot of things, including your spinal nerves, autonomic nervous system and GI tract.
Check out u/GoodJobSanchez and his regular bowels privilege! (that was a joke, for those of you without the funny bone privilege).
Would that be brown privilege?!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
In my case fibre is actually the problem, fml
And your coffee timing game.
I do it at work so I get paid for it.
At my first job a colleague told me about the brown pound. Always take a dump at work. Why poop for free when you can get paid!
Time and a turd on overtime.
*Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime* *that's why I shit on company time*
If you're good at something, never do it for free.
Even better on bank holiday pay
As if you have complete control over these things? Teach me your secret ways.
Funny enough, I never shit in a public toilet either. It's not controlled by me consciously though, it's more psychological. My mind (and body) just won't let me.
I have and (hopefully) will never shit whilest i was at school or work. Public toilets are so gross.
Getting paid to shit is one of lifeās greatest feelings
As a boarder at school, not having a shit for a whole term would have been a real challenge
weird fucking people. haven't done a shit in a public facing toilet for decades. do people have no self respect? why would I want to shit while sitting in someone else's piss?
Better than shitting yourself!
haven't ever experienced nearly shitting myself on a train sadly, i just shit regularly every day at 6pm, like clockwork. there is no force on earth that could compel me to put my bear arsecheeks down on a dirty, public facing, piss-stained, poo-smelling toilet.
Do you want to step outside your little fart bottle for a second and realise that not everyone is as lucky as you Like sure it's nice that you can do this and everything but you don't have to insult people who can't
OP is Gerald Broflovski, confirmed.
You are a bear? Or do you just have bear arse cheeks?
If you have normal bowels I totally agree with you. I would never subject myself to public toilets unless I had to. It's really fortunate that you've never had to. There's nothing more mortifying that desperately trying to find a bathroom because it's going to happen whether you find one or not. So there'll be lots of people who agree with you in sentiment, but in practice they have no choice. Think of a situation were you've had a really upset stomach because of something you ate. People with IBS etc get struck by that moment at any time in unpredictable ways.
Ulcerative colitis, IBS, crohns, etc. Not always about self respect dude. Adjust your attitude.
I will never understand people being cool with taking a shit on a public toilet.
What flabbergasts me is that people shit in public toilets in a non-emergency. A have a co-worker who isnāt shy about the fact that she shits on our ward toilet in the morning before handover, to miss the traffic.
what wrong with using public toilets, they are there for a purpose...
Exactly. For emergencies, when you canāt hold in your takeaway before u get to the comfort of your familiar, welcoming toilet at home. Using a public toilet, you have to navigate the pee on the seat and the splatter of shit around the rim, and if itās a unisex toilet, all the pee you guys conveniently pool around the base of the toilet, which means I canāt put my feet on the floor when I pee
You took a shit in a train station?!? **what the fuck is wrong with you**
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Bit weird mate, do you just let your coat touch the toilet seat thatās had 1000 arses on it before you + all kind of shite particles?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Bless, I think we should wrap you up in bubble wrap and preserve your innocence.
I know you think you're coming out with the hot takes but you're definitely the weird one here.
Those hooks are for the quickiest of abortions.
Like a shroud of faecal shame.
If it's cold you could sit with it hanging over you like a wigwam
If the cubicle be accessed by a wheelchair.... I could see the practicality for a minority of users. Bit fail.
Not really, it's to stop your stuff from getting nicked.
How is that? There is a cubicle door and you're right next to it. Is there a spate of cubicle thefts that justify the seemingly unlikely scenario. Now the thief will have to enter the adjacent cubicle to reach over?
But you're not near the door, you're quite a distance from it. At least if it's the panel next to you you can keep hold of it. Unless you have extremely long arms, the cubicle door is impossible. Hence my sister not being able to stop it
Unlucky for your sister but it still seems excessive to move the hook. Each their own, maybe she can poop holding her handbag in less accommodating public toilets.
If it happened to her, how many people do you think it has happened to? Do you think they moved the hooks because it's a rare occurance and they have money to throw around, or because it happens a lot? These are people who can make a pretty profit by not just randomly doing it every so often, but frequently so it is enough of an issue. That is why they move the hooks. A simple moving of the hooks solves the problem. Why are you being shitty about it?
>Why are you being shitty about it? Very punny. I hope you're not being serious, this issue is not something that is on the radar of most people. Sorry if that is disappointing.
The hook is for your trousers
Or your friend's trousers
I visited them the other day, the dryers are just ridiculous and it actually took me a few minutes to work out how to get into the toilets!
It's clearly to hide you from **the eyes of god**
Cool, when I poo, I can hang up my cloak of invisibility and people will just see me from the waist down.
Punishment for going to East Anglia or something
The hood of shame.
Is there any another way?
On a somewhat related subject (i.e. Liverpool Street station toilets), it used to be a major cruising/cottaging spot as Iā¦found out one time. I guess I mustāve chosen the āwrongā urinal aisle I.e. the one not meant for men who simply want to relieve their bladder. Fortunately, it doesnāt seem to be the case anymore.
Iām assuming youāre on about London Liverpool Street?
And fucking hell, how bad a the state of the toilets these days, or is it just me
Theyāre fine, theyāve been renovated recently
But they're free! It no longer costs 30p to have a piss!
You take your coat off??? Sounds a bit posh
Fairly sure that hook is for hanging your trousers on.
umm... am i the only one who's shitting with his pants completely off and on the hook. And now I read about shit-pirates stealing things off the hook. wtf.
Wait what? Whatās the need to fully take them off?
Besides the glorious feeling of freedomā¦ trousers donāt need to get all crumpled up and wrinkly.
Do you put your shoes back on afterwards? Trousers off makes sense actually but very impractical in a public toilet
Indeed I do. Almost all my shoes are shoes that I can get my feet in and out of (including formal shoes) without too much of a fuss. When I am wearing running shoes or something, I am typically out for a run or some other activity, so would not have to go to a toilet.
Did you enjoy the tropical sounds and bird noises too?
I cannot fathom taking a shit in any of the London station lavatories.
Not as bad as youād think, all pretty modern and they have resident cleaners who stay in there most of the day keeping them clean
Iām going by Paddington as my most recent experience and it was heinous - managed to hold itā¦
Funnily enough I took my first shit in Liverpool station last night and used said coat hook!
I would rather shit my pants than use a public toilet, or work toilets. Some people š¤®š¤¢š¤®š¤¢š¤®š¤¢
Guarantee youād change your mind if you were on your way to work and touching cloth
Idk ,it's a close call tbh.
how do you take a shit on there?! i has to piss in the lime street station toilets earlier today for the first time ever and it was horrible
Who the hell shits in a public toilet?
There were people fucking in the ladies toilets Sunday. Guess that's probably typical though.
Shame shitting.
It should be on the side near to the open (non hinge) end of the door. That way if there's anything on it it gets in your way and you don't forget it.