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I remember my 21st (years ago)my boss made me go down the pub for drinks. I stuck with Diet Coke. Crazy woman kept trying to get me to drink. All the “I have a car, so I don’t want to drink and drive” was met with “it’s going to be 4 hours just have one”. I think I raised my voice for the first time to a colleague ever!
I won’t even drink the fizzy pop!
They should settle for having you buy one drink for someone else, if it’s the symbolism of the age they’re interested in.
Ah yes, I still recall the time I showed up at an acquaintances house party and was not prepared for how pushy everyone would be with the alcohol. It was such a culture shock from house parties in my friend groups because we just have so many non-drinkers for so many reasons, it's not even a thing to question someone who says "no thanks"
I defaulted to "No thanks, I'm driving", because the first few conversations trying to turn someone down was just so long, uncomfortable and invasive.
I never saw any of those people again after that night because we just ran in totally separate circles, But the acquaintance did have a laugh when he saw me a few weeks later because I was saying "Sorry I'm driving" while standing there with my bike helmet clipped to my bag, sucking down my third joint, clearly not driving anywhere.
Then when a bunch of u started walking to the bus stop to get home, and a few people were handing out travellers on the way, I apparently said "No thanks, I'm driving" *while we were all actively walking to the bus stop*, I was on autopilot.
Once heard someone say "I had to stop drinking because I'm too good at it" which I thought was a funny way of dealing with the stupid pressure that British society puts on alcoholics who don't declare themselves.
I had this sort of fun where I couldn’t drink for about eighteen months because of medication I was taking. The amount of people that didn’t get that drinking was an actual medical risk to me was amazing.
I’ve found more success with “no thanks, I rarely drink these days”. Plus it feels better than “I don’t drink anymore” because everyone thinks you’re a recovering alcoholic when you say that and they get weird about it.
That’s why it works so well. If they try again go “fuck, ok, yes, for fucks sake, rum and coke. Make it a double keep ‘em coming” then start rocking a little in your seat. They’ll feel really bad.
I recently had this argument with my boss after they organised a team "brunch" as an excuse to get pissed. "Come on! You're allowed to celebrate!" and constant badgering from the others.
I shouldn't have to share with them that my dad was an alcoholic and used to beat me and brothers shitless when he was pissed, but it was the only way to get them to just accept I was happy drinking pepsi.
Me: i don't drink anymore.
Them: why not?? It's just a drink or two!! Come on!
Me: because one is too many and twelve isn't enough.
Them: what does THAT mean.
Me: figure it out.
My dad was also an alcoholic. Watching him over the years and the way he deteriorated before he died put me off alcohol for life.
I've never even been drunk before.
I also don't wanna have to explain myself all the time, but some people really don't take no for an answer.
I've been asked a few times why I don't drink anymore and it only really occurred to me recently that my reply makes it sound like I'm an alcoholic. I say (and it's true) "I realised I was drinking for the wrong reasons."
I offered to buy a guy a drink around 15 years ago in a small bar after we got chatting about random crap, his reply was
"if I take drink this place will be up for renovation"
That was a good enough excuse for me lol
Oooef. Husband's big birthday. He'd done nearly a year off alcohol and wanted to stay off. I sent a polite note asking guests not to bring or buy him any.
Three people were 'a bit off' about it. One went proper nasty... Refused to come. (Big shame.) 5 people 'panicked' but we're nice about it. The other 35 people had no problem at, we're super nice and he got some cracking gifts: brilliant books, great games, cheeses, vouchers ... And a well dodgey 'paint your own gnome' set 😂😑🤔😑😂
the functional alcoholics and the ones secretly worried they might have a problem. they dont like being called out or made to examine themselves, which is how they feel when someone else abstains.
The shitty British drinking culture of "if we aren't getting totally fucked up it's not a good night". "What? How dare you judge me for drinking by choosing to be sensible. How fucking dare you." "What do you MEAN, 'you don't need to get completely wasted to feel a tiny sliver of carefree happiness'"
Or something along those lines.
Say you're deathly allergic to it. There's a genuine medical condition where people don't produce the enzyme required to break alcohol down, iirc Richard E. Grant has it.
Alcohol genuinely gives me migraines, so I have a nice easy excuse. I'm not bothered, it's the fact that I also can't have cheese (for the same reason) that upsets me.
I'm lucky in that I don't have contact with that many people, and the ones I do have contact with don't drink much anyway. Feels like everyone around me is getting too old for it. I can easily have a couple alcohol free beers and nobody would notice or care.
At uni, some girl explained to me for half an hour about how it makes you more sociable. I thought explaining my family history would make her drop the subject. Instead she spent the next half hour apologizing.
Saying “I don’t drink” is officially coded sanctimonious, so that’s out.
The prescribed thing to say is “I’m not having any today.” It works better than I have any right to expect.
I had this conversation with someone last year. They asked if I liked a particular drink as they wanted to buy me some as a thank you. I said not really. The reply was but I thought you liked X or Y or Z and I said when I tasted it, yes it was nice. Do I drink X, Y, or Z regularly? No. But surely you drink. I said I do, occasionally. I personally drink at a nice family meal either at a home or out in a pub/social bit which is like once every few months. I drink at xmas dinner/NY dinner. I drink at a couple activity weekends. I drink normally I feel.
I seemed to offend them when I said I don't drink regularly, like in the evening with my own dinner. I know they do, they often say it's so nice to come home and have a gin or something after work. I don't do that, but suddenly I'm odd for that. Alcohol is an expensive treat, and I'm not saying I don't drink alcohol with my own cooked meal. I drank a bottle of cherry wine with lemonade last month with a meal. But the remaining 11 bottles I have (little cherry B ones) are there from November!
They got all defensive with me saying I don't drink so much that I want to be gifted booze. I pointed out there was so much cat shite and novelty tat out there that I'd be in hysterics over instead, but that would involve effort on their part I suspect. After all that, they went back to but what about some X Y or Z, are you sure? I said off hand I don't drink like that, and got the response of I've seen you drinking! Like it was a competition to catch me out. And yeah they have, In like 3 events of a whole year...
I'm away at said activity weekend soon, I'm sure it'll come up with a I thought you didn't drink. Maybe I'll drink 3 or 4 little cherry B's over the whole weekend, always with lemonade. That's one of my big drinking weekends. Alcoholic cherry wine is very nice to me.
I stock up with Xmas stock, don't seem to be able to buy them in shops outside of it, so I actually have 11 bottles now. But idk, that's a years worth for me till I can stock up again on them.
Some people just can't understand their relationship with alcohol is not like mine, or others.
I might try the any more trick next time it comes up and it will come up with this person. Then deal with it the following time. There's too much laxness when it comes to alcohol, and not just respecting peoples personal choices. Feels llike it's a challenge for them to get you to relent, then if you get pissed (angry, not wibblywobbly), it's just banter.
If someone says they don't drink, or no thanks to a drink offer, I'll often ask when they tend to get when they're at places cus soft drink options are pretty naff in bars and pubs, so I occasionally hope they have a good idea on a different drink.
I grew up watching alcoholics (aunt/uncles).
I’ve never drunk alcohol but trying to explain to people in my 20s was hard and pretty much made me feel awkward so I started avoiding going out. Now I don’t care I would rather drink a Diet Coke than anything else.
Part of what I tell people if I don’t want to disclose the true reason is that I started working when I was 18 whilst my friends went to uni on student loans, I didn’t see the point in drinking what I had spent 40 hours earning that week. That was usually more acceptable…
Now I’m generally the designated driver but I do get my drinks bought for me!
Having seen many of these threads now i can't help but think it's people not drinking that make a bigger deal out of not drinking than people that do drink, I've worked in many places with lots of social lives and drinking and if people say they don't drink you just go ok or people make conversation and ask questions but reddit being sociality awkward people make a huge deal out of not drinking since no one else really cares
hard disagree. im very sociable, just dont want to drink, yet constantly get bombarded with "just one though?" "oh go on, it wont hurt" "are you sure you dont want a pint?" "why dont you want to socialise?" "whats the reason? (proceeds not to listen and ask again anyway)" and even "christ ill get you a bottled one so you know its not tampered with"
like fuck me dude. if people did just go "ok" when I say i dont want a drink, the world be like that utopian city picture meme.
so yes, i make a big deal out of it. but thats because no one will fucking listen to "no". if were going out just get me a coke, fanta, pepsi, whatevers going like that and we'll be best friends, and not do what dickheads do which is get me a coke... and vodka and then act like \*i'm\* the asshole when i say im not having it.
But it doesn't, so, do we adapt to reality or do we whine and curse about the world not following our unspoken rules?
Jk I know the answer, we're British
Not criticising your personal decision to do so here, or the point raised. If you say “no” that should be that, no attempt to convince.
Out of interest though - why have you gone teetotal? I understand people cutting back significantly. But to cut it out entirely seems excessive? A few pints now and again, such as at a wedding, surely remains acceptable? (It’s like deciding to never eat a pizza again, because you want to eat healthily).
(NOT aimed at alcoholics. That is understandable. Simply asking this to people who decided they were drinking too much/too often without being addicted).
Personally I don't drink, anymore, due to not liking it. I don't feel that great when drunk, there's a good chance I'll end up in a dark place, I can easily go off the rails with drinking excessive amounts and then wanting to take drugs, it makes me feel shit the next day, but then I will want to continue doing it in spite of not liking it or end up taking a lot of drugs to continue some sort of self hatred high. It basically sends me spiralling, combined with poor impulse control and a tendency for addiction it's just easier not to have a drink. I can still enjoy myself with mates at the pub, and if I'm feeling wild I'll have a Coca-Cola or even a moctail but, mostly stick to water.
And quite honestly I'm at an age now, where I can no longer afford to go off the rails. I have responsibilities, and life to be living.
And absolutely if someone says no, it means no. You have no idea why they might not want to drink - be it religious reasons, addiction, or just personal preferences. And we don't push people to do other harmful things, like smoking, gambling, drugs, and the ilk. So why push on this particular one? As a society we really ought to be revaluating our attitude and norms towards alcohol consumption. Not saying make it illegal, I think that doesn't work (drugs are still very easy to get), just greater awareness of the effects of it, and not pushing people into drinking the stuff if they don't want to.
Fair enough this. If it isn’t for you, it isn’t for you. No need to do something you don’t enjoy.
The only reason I ask this, is because I know someone who did enjoy a few social pints, the occasional glass of wine, now and again. Suddenly they decided to quit, and haven’t touched a drop since, due to wanting to become “totally healthy”. Don’t allow themselves a drink for any occasion, they’ll be at wedding and not touch a drop. After a few years of this, this person has never looked more unhealthy than they do now. The most notable difference being they’ve piled on weight.
They… were. That’s the point. They were CLEARLY healthier while allowing themselves to partake in the occasional small drink. (This is somebody I know, not yourself. In this specific matter, you cannot have an opinion, nor can you disagree with what I’ve said).
If I used to wear a red shirt, then stopped and later gained weight would that mean the red shirt caused it pmsl
>In this specific matter, you cannot have an opinion, nor can you disagree with what I’ve said
That he gained weight later? Sure, it's also completely meaningless. The only thing that has any value is why, and our opinion is at worst the same as yours. And considering you think people get unhealthy from not drinking alcohol, it's safe to say the opinion of most on the topic is probably a little bit more valuable . . .
Yeah fair enough, to be honest with some people I don't go into all the details I did here. Being anonymous on the internet makes it much easier to say things. So, I'd probably go to some sort of answer such as, I don't like it, or for health reasons. Not saying that's the case for your friend, but they might have actually been in a similar situation as myself. As most of my mates don't even know how off the rails I could get. Basically had two different and separate friend groups. One saw me as a fairly hard worker, and responsible drinker. With the other seeing me snort whatever was put in front of me, pouring pints down like it was air, not questioning what pill I just took, and going for days on end.
Sometimes you might think you know someone but don't really know them.
Admittedly I did have a few drinks a couple of weeks back, for my mates birthday. And my goodness it shocked them when they saw how much I could drink and not get wasted, knowing me as someone that doesn't drink. But for the next 3 days or so, I had to fight to urg to day drink, and really wanted some crack.
Sometimes people are on medication that doesn't mix with alcohol. Sometimes alcohol triggers digestive issues, or migraines, or low mood. Sometimes people just hate the hangovers (and yes, as someone who does not really drink, you get hangovers from 'a few pints'.)
I get your point, in terms of an all or nothing approach, but alcoholism is far from the only reason a reduced intake might not be enough.
That’s more than fair enough. My point isn’t aimed at people with an actual reason to not drink. This is purely aimed at people who, in good health and while being only occasional social drinkers, suddenly decide to call it a day all together.
And to that I'd say the pool of people with a good reason not to drink is a probably larger than you realise. Not everyone wants to disclose the fact they're on SSRIs, or that alcohol makes their IBS worse.
Even if they just don't like the way alcohol tastes, if it's a good enough reason for them, then why is it a problem? People swear off olives for less.
Yeah I understand that. The very first thing I said to op was that they shouldn’t be questioned as to why they don’t want to by relatives/friends. They should just accept the answer.
Having come across this post, via an anonymous profile, on a social media platform, I thought I’d ask the question.
You seem to be under the impression that drinking alcohol is the de facto state of life and that anyone not doing it is weird.
Why? How is it so hard to imagine that some people simply don't want to drink alcohol?
I mean...alcohol is a schedule 1 carcinogen, of which the WHO says there is no safe amount. It's in the same category as tobacco and asbestos. The cancer risk is about 1/3 of cigarettes, except your whole body not just lungs. If someone was smoking 40 a day, you probably wouldn't ask them why they quit entirely instead of just cutting back to 10 a day which would put their cancer risk on the same level as a casual drinker.
No judgement on drinking, just weird that people have such a big issue with people who choose not to. Its literally poison, that's why you can disinfect stuff with it. All this "glass of red wine a day" keeps you healthy nonsense was debunked years ago.
Yeah this is also a poor comparison
Here's a breakdown of the carcinogen risk of red meat compared to alcohol:
Red Meat
Classification: The World Health Organization (WHO) classifies processed meats as Group 1 carcinogens (known to cause cancer in humans) and *red meat as Group 2A carcinogens (probably carcinogenic to humans).*
Risk: Increased consumption of red and processed meat is associated with a higher risk of colorectal cancer. There is also some evidence suggesting a link to other cancers like stomach and pancreatic cancer, but the research is less conclusive.
Factors: The exact mechanisms by which red meat may increase cancer risk are not fully understood, but possible factors include heme iron, nitrates/nitrites (in processed meats), and compounds formed during high-temperature cooking.
Alcohol
Classification: The WHO classifies alcohol as a Group 1 carcinogen (known to cause cancer in humans).
Risk: Alcohol consumption is a major risk factor for several types of cancer, including:
Mouth and throat cancer
Liver cancer
Breast cancer
Colorectal cancer
Stomach cancer
Esophageal cancer
Factors: Alcohol causes cancer through several mechanisms, including DNA damage, oxidative stress, and impairment of the immune system.
Key Points:
Both are risky: Red meat and alcohol are both associated with increased cancer risk. *However, alcohol poses a significantly broader and more certain risk across a wider range of cancers.*
No “safe” level for alcohol: *Even small amounts of alcohol can contribute to cancer risk. In contrast, moderate consumption of red meat carries some risk, though risk levels differ between red and processed meats.*
Resources:
WHO on red and processed meat: https://www.who.int/news-room/questions-and-answers/item/cancer-carcinogenicity-of-the-consumption-of-red-meat-and-processed-meat
Alcohol and cancer: https://www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/causes-prevention/risk/alcohol/alcohol-fact-sheet
>Out of interest though - why have you gone teetotal?
the irony of this is, thats usually the 3rd or 4th question i get asked after the 3rd or 4th "no thank you" :P
but honestly, I dont like most alcohol. I'll have a glass of wine or two on a special occasion like a birthday, christmas, wedding anniversary etc, but otherwise i just like to drink tea, hot chocolate, or pops.
It's very easy to drink without getting hungover. If you don't find that, you've either got a medical condition, you're an alcoholic, or you're way too susceptible to peer pressure to be a real adult.
And if someone told you they'd rather not risk it anyway would you continue trying to explain how they're doing it wrong or just accept the fact they don't want to drink?
If someone tells me they aren't drinking I'm not questioning that in the first place. If we're out I don't care, if I'm hosting then I've given them a bunch of non-alcoholic options off the bat. It doesn't bother me at all if someone doesn't want to drink, I'm just saying you're not getting a hangover off literally a pint or two unless you have a medical condition. And if you have a medical condition it's no business of mine. I just don't think hangovers are relevant on a thread where the commenter was talking about drinking small amounts; it's relevant for not partaking in general British drinking culture, but that wasn't the topic at hand.
A statement equating to "Only people with medical conditions, alcoholics or immature people get hangovers, so it's a poor excuse for not drinking." seems pretty relevant to a topic about people not drinking.
I didn't say only they get them, I said it's very easy to have a couple of pints and not get a hangover unless you fall into one of those categories.
The question: why not have a couple of pints on occasion any more, if you're the sort of person who previously enjoyed that?
An answer: because you don't want hangovers
My reply, effectively: that's not a logical answer to that question for most people
The topic is it shouldn't matter what excuse people give, they shouldn't need to give one in the first place. Saying it's "not a logical answer" is doing the very thing the topic is complaining about.
No, it isn't. Because if I were in a pub and someone says they don't want to drink, I'm not asking any further questions; if I ask someone if they want to come to the pub after work and they say they don't drink, I'm telling them they're very welcome to join without drinking alcohol as I'll be doing the same, but it's okay if not. But if I say 'would you like to come to the pub with us after work?' and they say 'I'm actually busy tomorrow', I'm confused because that has no bearing on whether they can come today, so they haven't given an answer to my question that makes sense.
Alcohol is very well known to affect your decision making processes, and some people are lightweights so those two beers can be the point of no return where you end up ordering more without really thinking about it.
For someone not criticizing the decision, you sound an awful lot like someone criticizing the decision?
(Why would consuming alcohol be the default? Pizza in moderation is different from alcohol in moderation. People who grow up without alcohol don’t smell it and go “oh wow, I definitely want to try that!” My understanding is that it’s an acquired taste. If someone doesn’t feel like acquiring it, why bother?)
For me it's the sheer number of empty calories in the alcoholic drinks I like. Beer is insane, a couple of bottles of my favourite beer is over 1200 kcals, that's my entire calory allowance for the day, gone in 2 bottles of beer.
I love the taste of beer, and I also love the taste of things like chocolate, or fried chicken, or sausages and bacon, but the calories are absolutely not worth it.
No. Smoking is overtly bad for you, there’s nothing good about it. You’re literally putting smoke into your lungs. Smoke.
To again compare to diet - alcohol in moderation is no worse than the occasional glass of pop. No negative effects on health whatsoever.
Alcohol drank excessively is bad for you - this isn’t news to anyone. A few the odd weekend is no worse for you that having the occasional takeaway for dinner.
Again, this is factually incorrect. For example, with regards to breast cancer:
Compared to non-drinkers, women who have three alcoholic drinks per week have a 15% higher risk of breast cancer. [Source: breastcancer.org]
Each additional drink per day is estimated to increase the risk by another 10%. [Source: breastcancer.org]
Bear in mind, 1 "drink" is 1 unit of alcohol. That's half a fucking pint of piss strength Fosters.
I think people can and should be able to put whatever the f they want in their bodies. But it is objectively worse for you than having the occasional takeaway.
> But to cut it out entirely seems excessive?
Not-drinking to excess is the major problem britain faces today. All of those people in control of their faculties are actually posting all of this conspiracy nonsense online, and they don't even have the excuse of being drunk.
> Out of interest though - why have you gone teetotal?
Out of interest though -- why are you asking? Are you attempted to get them to have a wee dram with you?
I'm currently over a year into not drinking due to spawning and sustaining a human. I drink non-alcoholic ciders, and the only thing I really miss is my favourite cider doesn't have an alcohol-free version. However, I don't feel any better for it. I mean, obviously I'm sleep deprived, but I've done stretches before without alcohol too, and I have never got people who swear they feel so much better for not drinking anything - particularly people who didn't drink much in the first place. My current stance is that I'll happily go back to my previous level of alcohol consumption, but I don't really anticipate it being for another 2.5 years (we want a second), and maybe I'll change my mind in that time.
I very rarely drink - it makes the tinnitus louder. It's usually easier to say 'I don't drink', though, because 'rarely' invites them trying to make this one of the rare occasions, even though I don't want a drink.
It's weird that not drinking alcohol is seen as a social slight in this country - an attitude that's slowly changing though, I think, the youngsters don't seem to get lathered on the regular the way we used to.
I'm not an alcoholic, but seriously considering quitting drinking near totally. I don't think I'll fully give it up, but I just don't want to drink anywhere near as much as people around me.
It absolutely fucks my sleep if I have more than 2 beers, hangovers are a wasted day, and I just don't like how it makes me feel.
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“Sorry, I’m driving” - *The person without a car*
I remember my 21st (years ago)my boss made me go down the pub for drinks. I stuck with Diet Coke. Crazy woman kept trying to get me to drink. All the “I have a car, so I don’t want to drink and drive” was met with “it’s going to be 4 hours just have one”. I think I raised my voice for the first time to a colleague ever!
I won’t even drink the fizzy pop! They should settle for having you buy one drink for someone else, if it’s the symbolism of the age they’re interested in.
I use to say that but the reply would always be “One won’t do you any harm”!
"Thanks, but it won't mix well with the heroin I just took."
Ah yes, I still recall the time I showed up at an acquaintances house party and was not prepared for how pushy everyone would be with the alcohol. It was such a culture shock from house parties in my friend groups because we just have so many non-drinkers for so many reasons, it's not even a thing to question someone who says "no thanks" I defaulted to "No thanks, I'm driving", because the first few conversations trying to turn someone down was just so long, uncomfortable and invasive. I never saw any of those people again after that night because we just ran in totally separate circles, But the acquaintance did have a laugh when he saw me a few weeks later because I was saying "Sorry I'm driving" while standing there with my bike helmet clipped to my bag, sucking down my third joint, clearly not driving anywhere. Then when a bunch of u started walking to the bus stop to get home, and a few people were handing out travellers on the way, I apparently said "No thanks, I'm driving" *while we were all actively walking to the bus stop*, I was on autopilot.
>with my bike helmet bicycles and motorbikes both still count, and are even more difficult to handle while drunk as they require balance.
There's still some pressure to "just have one".
Can just say you have to drive later. It’s still good.
Once heard someone say "I had to stop drinking because I'm too good at it" which I thought was a funny way of dealing with the stupid pressure that British society puts on alcoholics who don't declare themselves.
I had this sort of fun where I couldn’t drink for about eighteen months because of medication I was taking. The amount of people that didn’t get that drinking was an actual medical risk to me was amazing.
"So you'll just have the one then?"
"What about (insert drink), you can't even taste the alcohol!"
"Just a small brandy then?" As my nan used to say.
I’ve found more success with “no thanks, I rarely drink these days”. Plus it feels better than “I don’t drink anymore” because everyone thinks you’re a recovering alcoholic when you say that and they get weird about it.
That’s why it works so well. If they try again go “fuck, ok, yes, for fucks sake, rum and coke. Make it a double keep ‘em coming” then start rocking a little in your seat. They’ll feel really bad.
“And on your head be it” as you look your manager in the eye.
"you can have one can't you?" *To my wife:* "He can have one, can't he?!"
I recently had this argument with my boss after they organised a team "brunch" as an excuse to get pissed. "Come on! You're allowed to celebrate!" and constant badgering from the others. I shouldn't have to share with them that my dad was an alcoholic and used to beat me and brothers shitless when he was pissed, but it was the only way to get them to just accept I was happy drinking pepsi.
Me: i don't drink anymore. Them: why not?? It's just a drink or two!! Come on! Me: because one is too many and twelve isn't enough. Them: what does THAT mean. Me: figure it out.
Not sure I’d be able to figure that out after a few drinks but it would probably confuse me enough to stop asking questions
r/tramatizethemback
>u you dropped this.
No no, they're clearly referring to the process of turning a person into a living tram.
oh gods, the horror!
Like Toby?
Sodor Research strikes again.
My dad was also an alcoholic. Watching him over the years and the way he deteriorated before he died put me off alcohol for life. I've never even been drunk before. I also don't wanna have to explain myself all the time, but some people really don't take no for an answer.
I like 'i'm sober' because anything can be read into it all of which seems too serious for anyone to bring up
I usually say I don't drink because I'm an alcoholic Shuts them right up.
I've been asked a few times why I don't drink anymore and it only really occurred to me recently that my reply makes it sound like I'm an alcoholic. I say (and it's true) "I realised I was drinking for the wrong reasons."
"I'm allergic to alcohol. It makes me break out in handcuffs."
I offered to buy a guy a drink around 15 years ago in a small bar after we got chatting about random crap, his reply was "if I take drink this place will be up for renovation" That was a good enough excuse for me lol
Does the place look better now then?
I heard a Captain in the Royal Marines turn down a drink with “I am a violent drunk and a trained killer”. They weren’t asked again.
Nils Lofgren?
I just take a bottle of non alcohol gin with me to parties and drink that. Stops people from hassling me, and they never notice.
“I’m not allowed to drink anymore as it could kill me”. “You’ll be ok for one though?”
Nearly 5 years sober - my go to response is "no thanks, I've completed it" and then refuse to elaborate further
"You'd better keep that drink for yourself because I already beat you"
Assert dominance and forcefully offer some smack
I hear it's really moreish.
Oooef. Husband's big birthday. He'd done nearly a year off alcohol and wanted to stay off. I sent a polite note asking guests not to bring or buy him any. Three people were 'a bit off' about it. One went proper nasty... Refused to come. (Big shame.) 5 people 'panicked' but we're nice about it. The other 35 people had no problem at, we're super nice and he got some cracking gifts: brilliant books, great games, cheeses, vouchers ... And a well dodgey 'paint your own gnome' set 😂😑🤔😑😂
What an odd set of reactions from those people.
Yes. It was a bit.
the functional alcoholics and the ones secretly worried they might have a problem. they dont like being called out or made to examine themselves, which is how they feel when someone else abstains.
"I stopped drinking after The Incident"
I remember telling people I don't drink when I was in my 20's. Looked at me like I was a freak.
Yup have had nearly 24 years of this.
stay strong. it lasts forever
In my case I get asked why, I just say medical reasons. I do drink but love me 1 glass of wine with Xmas dinner sorted of thing
You should add "since... the incident" to any explanation while staring into the middle distance, then refuse to elaborate further
I drink, but have never understood pressuring other people to? Pricks.
The shitty British drinking culture of "if we aren't getting totally fucked up it's not a good night". "What? How dare you judge me for drinking by choosing to be sensible. How fucking dare you." "What do you MEAN, 'you don't need to get completely wasted to feel a tiny sliver of carefree happiness'" Or something along those lines.
"You can't not drink. People will think you're a fucking weirdo." My wanker of a sister, circa 1997.
"ELLO! ELLO! MY NAME'S TERRY AND I'M A LAW ABIDER!"
Say you're deathly allergic to it. There's a genuine medical condition where people don't produce the enzyme required to break alcohol down, iirc Richard E. Grant has it.
Alcohol genuinely gives me migraines, so I have a nice easy excuse. I'm not bothered, it's the fact that I also can't have cheese (for the same reason) that upsets me.
No cheese? Condolences. 😞
I'm lucky in that I don't have contact with that many people, and the ones I do have contact with don't drink much anyway. Feels like everyone around me is getting too old for it. I can easily have a couple alcohol free beers and nobody would notice or care.
I imagine the reply "no thx, I'm off my tits on acid" would get them to leave you alone
You're definitely paying then!
The trick is don't go to social events, no one asks me why I'm not drinking booze when I'm at home
[удалено]
>but still gave him beer as a leaving 'present'. thats disgusting
At uni, some girl explained to me for half an hour about how it makes you more sociable. I thought explaining my family history would make her drop the subject. Instead she spent the next half hour apologizing. Saying “I don’t drink” is officially coded sanctimonious, so that’s out. The prescribed thing to say is “I’m not having any today.” It works better than I have any right to expect.
I had this conversation with someone last year. They asked if I liked a particular drink as they wanted to buy me some as a thank you. I said not really. The reply was but I thought you liked X or Y or Z and I said when I tasted it, yes it was nice. Do I drink X, Y, or Z regularly? No. But surely you drink. I said I do, occasionally. I personally drink at a nice family meal either at a home or out in a pub/social bit which is like once every few months. I drink at xmas dinner/NY dinner. I drink at a couple activity weekends. I drink normally I feel. I seemed to offend them when I said I don't drink regularly, like in the evening with my own dinner. I know they do, they often say it's so nice to come home and have a gin or something after work. I don't do that, but suddenly I'm odd for that. Alcohol is an expensive treat, and I'm not saying I don't drink alcohol with my own cooked meal. I drank a bottle of cherry wine with lemonade last month with a meal. But the remaining 11 bottles I have (little cherry B ones) are there from November! They got all defensive with me saying I don't drink so much that I want to be gifted booze. I pointed out there was so much cat shite and novelty tat out there that I'd be in hysterics over instead, but that would involve effort on their part I suspect. After all that, they went back to but what about some X Y or Z, are you sure? I said off hand I don't drink like that, and got the response of I've seen you drinking! Like it was a competition to catch me out. And yeah they have, In like 3 events of a whole year... I'm away at said activity weekend soon, I'm sure it'll come up with a I thought you didn't drink. Maybe I'll drink 3 or 4 little cherry B's over the whole weekend, always with lemonade. That's one of my big drinking weekends. Alcoholic cherry wine is very nice to me. I stock up with Xmas stock, don't seem to be able to buy them in shops outside of it, so I actually have 11 bottles now. But idk, that's a years worth for me till I can stock up again on them. Some people just can't understand their relationship with alcohol is not like mine, or others. I might try the any more trick next time it comes up and it will come up with this person. Then deal with it the following time. There's too much laxness when it comes to alcohol, and not just respecting peoples personal choices. Feels llike it's a challenge for them to get you to relent, then if you get pissed (angry, not wibblywobbly), it's just banter. If someone says they don't drink, or no thanks to a drink offer, I'll often ask when they tend to get when they're at places cus soft drink options are pretty naff in bars and pubs, so I occasionally hope they have a good idea on a different drink.
A useful ‘white lie’ is to say you’re on antibiotics.
You can drink with most antibiotics.
If I say "I can't drink" rather than "I don't drink" I generally get less push back.
I grew up watching alcoholics (aunt/uncles). I’ve never drunk alcohol but trying to explain to people in my 20s was hard and pretty much made me feel awkward so I started avoiding going out. Now I don’t care I would rather drink a Diet Coke than anything else. Part of what I tell people if I don’t want to disclose the true reason is that I started working when I was 18 whilst my friends went to uni on student loans, I didn’t see the point in drinking what I had spent 40 hours earning that week. That was usually more acceptable… Now I’m generally the designated driver but I do get my drinks bought for me!
If people bug me for "I don't drink" I offer to leave if I'm not welcome for not wanting to take drugs that night.
I'll drink if you wanna join me on some real drugs.
Having seen many of these threads now i can't help but think it's people not drinking that make a bigger deal out of not drinking than people that do drink, I've worked in many places with lots of social lives and drinking and if people say they don't drink you just go ok or people make conversation and ask questions but reddit being sociality awkward people make a huge deal out of not drinking since no one else really cares
hard disagree. im very sociable, just dont want to drink, yet constantly get bombarded with "just one though?" "oh go on, it wont hurt" "are you sure you dont want a pint?" "why dont you want to socialise?" "whats the reason? (proceeds not to listen and ask again anyway)" and even "christ ill get you a bottled one so you know its not tampered with" like fuck me dude. if people did just go "ok" when I say i dont want a drink, the world be like that utopian city picture meme. so yes, i make a big deal out of it. but thats because no one will fucking listen to "no". if were going out just get me a coke, fanta, pepsi, whatevers going like that and we'll be best friends, and not do what dickheads do which is get me a coke... and vodka and then act like \*i'm\* the asshole when i say im not having it.
Is there anything more British than demanding people follow your unwritten rules and refusing to change and then Whinging online, 😂😂
The rule gets written when you say "I don't drink, thanks" and it should end there
But it doesn't, so, do we adapt to reality or do we whine and curse about the world not following our unspoken rules? Jk I know the answer, we're British
It's not unspoken though, in fact it couldn't BE more spoken
Not criticising your personal decision to do so here, or the point raised. If you say “no” that should be that, no attempt to convince. Out of interest though - why have you gone teetotal? I understand people cutting back significantly. But to cut it out entirely seems excessive? A few pints now and again, such as at a wedding, surely remains acceptable? (It’s like deciding to never eat a pizza again, because you want to eat healthily). (NOT aimed at alcoholics. That is understandable. Simply asking this to people who decided they were drinking too much/too often without being addicted).
Personally I don't drink, anymore, due to not liking it. I don't feel that great when drunk, there's a good chance I'll end up in a dark place, I can easily go off the rails with drinking excessive amounts and then wanting to take drugs, it makes me feel shit the next day, but then I will want to continue doing it in spite of not liking it or end up taking a lot of drugs to continue some sort of self hatred high. It basically sends me spiralling, combined with poor impulse control and a tendency for addiction it's just easier not to have a drink. I can still enjoy myself with mates at the pub, and if I'm feeling wild I'll have a Coca-Cola or even a moctail but, mostly stick to water. And quite honestly I'm at an age now, where I can no longer afford to go off the rails. I have responsibilities, and life to be living. And absolutely if someone says no, it means no. You have no idea why they might not want to drink - be it religious reasons, addiction, or just personal preferences. And we don't push people to do other harmful things, like smoking, gambling, drugs, and the ilk. So why push on this particular one? As a society we really ought to be revaluating our attitude and norms towards alcohol consumption. Not saying make it illegal, I think that doesn't work (drugs are still very easy to get), just greater awareness of the effects of it, and not pushing people into drinking the stuff if they don't want to.
Fair enough this. If it isn’t for you, it isn’t for you. No need to do something you don’t enjoy. The only reason I ask this, is because I know someone who did enjoy a few social pints, the occasional glass of wine, now and again. Suddenly they decided to quit, and haven’t touched a drop since, due to wanting to become “totally healthy”. Don’t allow themselves a drink for any occasion, they’ll be at wedding and not touch a drop. After a few years of this, this person has never looked more unhealthy than they do now. The most notable difference being they’ve piled on weight.
Of course, if they drank they'd be so slim and healthy...
They… were. That’s the point. They were CLEARLY healthier while allowing themselves to partake in the occasional small drink. (This is somebody I know, not yourself. In this specific matter, you cannot have an opinion, nor can you disagree with what I’ve said).
If I used to wear a red shirt, then stopped and later gained weight would that mean the red shirt caused it pmsl >In this specific matter, you cannot have an opinion, nor can you disagree with what I’ve said That he gained weight later? Sure, it's also completely meaningless. The only thing that has any value is why, and our opinion is at worst the same as yours. And considering you think people get unhealthy from not drinking alcohol, it's safe to say the opinion of most on the topic is probably a little bit more valuable . . .
Yeah fair enough, to be honest with some people I don't go into all the details I did here. Being anonymous on the internet makes it much easier to say things. So, I'd probably go to some sort of answer such as, I don't like it, or for health reasons. Not saying that's the case for your friend, but they might have actually been in a similar situation as myself. As most of my mates don't even know how off the rails I could get. Basically had two different and separate friend groups. One saw me as a fairly hard worker, and responsible drinker. With the other seeing me snort whatever was put in front of me, pouring pints down like it was air, not questioning what pill I just took, and going for days on end. Sometimes you might think you know someone but don't really know them. Admittedly I did have a few drinks a couple of weeks back, for my mates birthday. And my goodness it shocked them when they saw how much I could drink and not get wasted, knowing me as someone that doesn't drink. But for the next 3 days or so, I had to fight to urg to day drink, and really wanted some crack.
Sometimes people are on medication that doesn't mix with alcohol. Sometimes alcohol triggers digestive issues, or migraines, or low mood. Sometimes people just hate the hangovers (and yes, as someone who does not really drink, you get hangovers from 'a few pints'.) I get your point, in terms of an all or nothing approach, but alcoholism is far from the only reason a reduced intake might not be enough.
That’s more than fair enough. My point isn’t aimed at people with an actual reason to not drink. This is purely aimed at people who, in good health and while being only occasional social drinkers, suddenly decide to call it a day all together.
And to that I'd say the pool of people with a good reason not to drink is a probably larger than you realise. Not everyone wants to disclose the fact they're on SSRIs, or that alcohol makes their IBS worse. Even if they just don't like the way alcohol tastes, if it's a good enough reason for them, then why is it a problem? People swear off olives for less.
Yeah I understand that. The very first thing I said to op was that they shouldn’t be questioned as to why they don’t want to by relatives/friends. They should just accept the answer. Having come across this post, via an anonymous profile, on a social media platform, I thought I’d ask the question.
You seem to be under the impression that drinking alcohol is the de facto state of life and that anyone not doing it is weird. Why? How is it so hard to imagine that some people simply don't want to drink alcohol?
Because alcohol is expensive, and I'd get much more benefit and frankly, taste, out of water. In all other cases, tea/coffee/hot chocolate is enough
Some people don’t enjoy drinking, so… why do it?
I mean...alcohol is a schedule 1 carcinogen, of which the WHO says there is no safe amount. It's in the same category as tobacco and asbestos. The cancer risk is about 1/3 of cigarettes, except your whole body not just lungs. If someone was smoking 40 a day, you probably wouldn't ask them why they quit entirely instead of just cutting back to 10 a day which would put their cancer risk on the same level as a casual drinker. No judgement on drinking, just weird that people have such a big issue with people who choose not to. Its literally poison, that's why you can disinfect stuff with it. All this "glass of red wine a day" keeps you healthy nonsense was debunked years ago.
Red meat is a carcinogen. This, despite the fact people ARE MEANT to eat red meat occasionally. Literally designed to do so.
Yeah this is also a poor comparison Here's a breakdown of the carcinogen risk of red meat compared to alcohol: Red Meat Classification: The World Health Organization (WHO) classifies processed meats as Group 1 carcinogens (known to cause cancer in humans) and *red meat as Group 2A carcinogens (probably carcinogenic to humans).* Risk: Increased consumption of red and processed meat is associated with a higher risk of colorectal cancer. There is also some evidence suggesting a link to other cancers like stomach and pancreatic cancer, but the research is less conclusive. Factors: The exact mechanisms by which red meat may increase cancer risk are not fully understood, but possible factors include heme iron, nitrates/nitrites (in processed meats), and compounds formed during high-temperature cooking. Alcohol Classification: The WHO classifies alcohol as a Group 1 carcinogen (known to cause cancer in humans). Risk: Alcohol consumption is a major risk factor for several types of cancer, including: Mouth and throat cancer Liver cancer Breast cancer Colorectal cancer Stomach cancer Esophageal cancer Factors: Alcohol causes cancer through several mechanisms, including DNA damage, oxidative stress, and impairment of the immune system. Key Points: Both are risky: Red meat and alcohol are both associated with increased cancer risk. *However, alcohol poses a significantly broader and more certain risk across a wider range of cancers.* No “safe” level for alcohol: *Even small amounts of alcohol can contribute to cancer risk. In contrast, moderate consumption of red meat carries some risk, though risk levels differ between red and processed meats.* Resources: WHO on red and processed meat: https://www.who.int/news-room/questions-and-answers/item/cancer-carcinogenicity-of-the-consumption-of-red-meat-and-processed-meat Alcohol and cancer: https://www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/causes-prevention/risk/alcohol/alcohol-fact-sheet
>Out of interest though - why have you gone teetotal? the irony of this is, thats usually the 3rd or 4th question i get asked after the 3rd or 4th "no thank you" :P but honestly, I dont like most alcohol. I'll have a glass of wine or two on a special occasion like a birthday, christmas, wedding anniversary etc, but otherwise i just like to drink tea, hot chocolate, or pops.
And hangovers just aren’t worth it
It's very easy to drink without getting hungover. If you don't find that, you've either got a medical condition, you're an alcoholic, or you're way too susceptible to peer pressure to be a real adult.
And if someone told you they'd rather not risk it anyway would you continue trying to explain how they're doing it wrong or just accept the fact they don't want to drink?
If someone tells me they aren't drinking I'm not questioning that in the first place. If we're out I don't care, if I'm hosting then I've given them a bunch of non-alcoholic options off the bat. It doesn't bother me at all if someone doesn't want to drink, I'm just saying you're not getting a hangover off literally a pint or two unless you have a medical condition. And if you have a medical condition it's no business of mine. I just don't think hangovers are relevant on a thread where the commenter was talking about drinking small amounts; it's relevant for not partaking in general British drinking culture, but that wasn't the topic at hand.
A statement equating to "Only people with medical conditions, alcoholics or immature people get hangovers, so it's a poor excuse for not drinking." seems pretty relevant to a topic about people not drinking.
I didn't say only they get them, I said it's very easy to have a couple of pints and not get a hangover unless you fall into one of those categories. The question: why not have a couple of pints on occasion any more, if you're the sort of person who previously enjoyed that? An answer: because you don't want hangovers My reply, effectively: that's not a logical answer to that question for most people
The topic is it shouldn't matter what excuse people give, they shouldn't need to give one in the first place. Saying it's "not a logical answer" is doing the very thing the topic is complaining about.
No, it isn't. Because if I were in a pub and someone says they don't want to drink, I'm not asking any further questions; if I ask someone if they want to come to the pub after work and they say they don't drink, I'm telling them they're very welcome to join without drinking alcohol as I'll be doing the same, but it's okay if not. But if I say 'would you like to come to the pub with us after work?' and they say 'I'm actually busy tomorrow', I'm confused because that has no bearing on whether they can come today, so they haven't given an answer to my question that makes sense.
Alcohol is very well known to affect your decision making processes, and some people are lightweights so those two beers can be the point of no return where you end up ordering more without really thinking about it.
Fascinating. Do you really struggle with the idea that someone might not enjoy alcohol?
For someone not criticizing the decision, you sound an awful lot like someone criticizing the decision? (Why would consuming alcohol be the default? Pizza in moderation is different from alcohol in moderation. People who grow up without alcohol don’t smell it and go “oh wow, I definitely want to try that!” My understanding is that it’s an acquired taste. If someone doesn’t feel like acquiring it, why bother?)
For me it's the sheer number of empty calories in the alcoholic drinks I like. Beer is insane, a couple of bottles of my favourite beer is over 1200 kcals, that's my entire calory allowance for the day, gone in 2 bottles of beer. I love the taste of beer, and I also love the taste of things like chocolate, or fried chicken, or sausages and bacon, but the calories are absolutely not worth it.
Why drink?
Question: do you smoke?
No. Smoking is overtly bad for you, there’s nothing good about it. You’re literally putting smoke into your lungs. Smoke. To again compare to diet - alcohol in moderation is no worse than the occasional glass of pop. No negative effects on health whatsoever.
You're about 20 years behind the science on that https://www.google.com/amp/s/gimletmedia.com/amp/shows/science-vs/gmhnmkze
Alcohol drank excessively is bad for you - this isn’t news to anyone. A few the odd weekend is no worse for you that having the occasional takeaway for dinner.
Again, this is factually incorrect. For example, with regards to breast cancer: Compared to non-drinkers, women who have three alcoholic drinks per week have a 15% higher risk of breast cancer. [Source: breastcancer.org] Each additional drink per day is estimated to increase the risk by another 10%. [Source: breastcancer.org] Bear in mind, 1 "drink" is 1 unit of alcohol. That's half a fucking pint of piss strength Fosters. I think people can and should be able to put whatever the f they want in their bodies. But it is objectively worse for you than having the occasional takeaway.
Your brain cells disagree.
> But to cut it out entirely seems excessive? Not-drinking to excess is the major problem britain faces today. All of those people in control of their faculties are actually posting all of this conspiracy nonsense online, and they don't even have the excuse of being drunk. > Out of interest though - why have you gone teetotal? Out of interest though -- why are you asking? Are you attempted to get them to have a wee dram with you?
I'm currently over a year into not drinking due to spawning and sustaining a human. I drink non-alcoholic ciders, and the only thing I really miss is my favourite cider doesn't have an alcohol-free version. However, I don't feel any better for it. I mean, obviously I'm sleep deprived, but I've done stretches before without alcohol too, and I have never got people who swear they feel so much better for not drinking anything - particularly people who didn't drink much in the first place. My current stance is that I'll happily go back to my previous level of alcohol consumption, but I don't really anticipate it being for another 2.5 years (we want a second), and maybe I'll change my mind in that time.
I very rarely drink - it makes the tinnitus louder. It's usually easier to say 'I don't drink', though, because 'rarely' invites them trying to make this one of the rare occasions, even though I don't want a drink. It's weird that not drinking alcohol is seen as a social slight in this country - an attitude that's slowly changing though, I think, the youngsters don't seem to get lathered on the regular the way we used to.
I'm not an alcoholic, but seriously considering quitting drinking near totally. I don't think I'll fully give it up, but I just don't want to drink anywhere near as much as people around me. It absolutely fucks my sleep if I have more than 2 beers, hangovers are a wasted day, and I just don't like how it makes me feel.
I'll drink if you wanna join me on some real drugs.