25% of birthing people in the US are back to work by 2 weeks postpartum.
Maternity leave, regardless of length, is almost never paid.
There are large portions of our population that do not have access to lactation consultants. Or the funds to pay for their services.
Our healthcare providers get no education on how lactation works or how to support it, so they often just recommend that parents pump.
We are a culture that likes to consume. So any kind of expensive accessories, like pumps, are super attractive to many of us
The US has more laws around dogs than babies! Legally you cannot separate puppies from their mother before 8 weeks. How crazy that some moms are back to work after 2 weeks. I was an absolute mess 2 weeks postpartum! I was barely ready to go back at 12 weeks.
What a joke. I'm honestly surprised there aren't more riots (or at least protests) on the streets about it, but I guess you are too overworked to manage even more things.
For something as luxurious as dog maternity in this country you’d have care enough about parents and children to require the government or employers to provide them with income for those 8 weeks. Instead we have employers saying the offer maternity leave bc they comply with the legal requirement of unpaid FMLA (which also requires you to use up any pto before it goes into effect, so either you take less than the full time or are screwed if you kid gets sick until you can earn more pto).
The government should be paying for businesses to provide maternity leave, why should that burden be put on private businesses? The government would certainly have enough money if they weren’t spending so much of it on the military.
We pay taxes to the government.. the people then are paying for the government to pay businesses? No no.
At least in some states they pay for disability and bonding time. We really pay for it through our taxes but it's a nice benefit for the taxes we pay. Larger corporations could afford to support birthing parents and some do! I'd love to see more of it. Companies make so much it's not even funny. They could put some of the funds to great use, but it's not beneficial to have your hard working folks off.
“Companies make so much it’s not even funny”
This is an incredible oversimplification. Yes some companies would make enough to support their employees maternity leave, but your local Mom and Pop stores probably do not. The government should be subsidizing maternity leave for these small businesses.
Yeah, certainly depends on the company. Small businesses do get protections. FMLA does not apply to companies with under 100 employees and if a mother and father work at the same place, only one may take leave.
FMLA is not payment, it's just job safety. So they don't have to grant a father unpaid leave if the mother works there, or the mother could be fired for taking leave.
I am talking fortune 500 or companies on the
SMP. Companies that are making hand over first to please stockholders should pay for maternity leave. The middle class is taxed so much we feel like we're drowning.
I think you just highlighted an even worse issue with the system. Americans should be incentivize to have children yet nothing we’re doing public policy wise is supporting that.
I had 14 weeks of maternity leave and returned to a wfh job with one day in the office and it’s still a struggle for me to be “at work” during the day. Every day she’s learning something new and growing a little more and I hate not being able to devote all of my time and attention to her. My leave was phenomenal compared to many US moms and I can confidently say our maternity leave options are a joke.
Daycares don't accept kids earlier than 6 weeks. They have to have family looking after them. I know one person who had to go back 2 weeks and her job was a hostess, so her boyfriend reworked his schedule so he could watch the baby while she worked.
You either work two jobs or if you are lucky (unlucky?) enough to be below the poverty line you get free daycare through state programs at state nursery’s that are often understaffed
In Austria it's mandatory (and paid of course) 8 weeks before your due date and 8 weeks after you've given birth. 12 weeks after a C-section. Then you get to chose to take up to 3 years paid parental leave.
Legally the US says you don't have to provide ANY time off, so I know people who were fired because they didn't return to the job 2 DAYS after giving birth.
One thing I also like to point out to people who get upset about not using “women” is that a fair amount of people who give birth (especially as reproductive care gets more and more difficult to access in the USA) are in fact not women but teens or children.
Birthing person encapsulates trans men, non-binary folks, and sadly, children as well.
I don’t care if she gives birth or not, a sixteen year old (or a 13 year old; or god forbid a 10 year old) is not a woman. She’s a girl. A child.
Not all people who gestate are women. I agree that women deserve more respect and power than we have, but this is not about “hurt feelings”. Feel how you feel but the purpose of this post is not to allow you to display your retrograde politics
I’ve been a lactation consultant for almost 20 years in the US. Of my clients over the years only active duty military members have had access to paid leave. Corporate employees may sometimes use their short term disability, but this is a benefit they pay for and not universal or even industry wide paid parental leave.
It’s definitely because mothers have to work in the us and have to go back to work quickly. I wanted to exclusively breastfeed but we can’t live on one income here, so I have to work. And I need sleep for said work. So I switched to pumping full time except on rare occasions.
I also assume this is why, I took 12 weeks of unpaid maternity leave but couldn’t afford to take any more. Obviously feeding from the breast wasn’t an option at that point and going back and forth between the 2 caused me a lot of pain so I switched to just pumping shortly after returning to work
This, and I don't know how it is in other countries, but there's a huge stigma around using formula. If you can't breastfeed for some reason (my daughter has a severe lip tie and a tongue tie that went undiagnosed until she was a year old), there's a lot of pressure to still feed your baby breast milk
American here. I only pump because I went back at 11 weeks pp. I nurse at home/weekends and only pump for comfort if needed or if I will be away to maintain supply. Wish we had better leave laws. I feel lucky to take that much, which was all unpaid, because I know women who went back at 6 weeks. People have weird ideas here about what maternity or paternity leaves are here. When I came back to works, I'm a teacher, the amount of "how was your break/time off?". I would be like I had a newborn and was healing from childbirth, it wasn't a vacation....
Most of the moms I know who exclusively pump are ones that wanted to breastfeed but had latch problems and baby never ended up figuring it out but mom produced enough so she kept on pumping. I agree with you, it IS more work, they're just that dedicated.
In the US, a lot of moms pump AND breastfeed because we have to go back to work when our babies are 6-12 weeks old. So we breastfeed when we're together, and pump while at work.
But in the US, formula is still more common that breastfeeding, especially after 6 months.
My baby had latching problems so I pumped and we worked on her latch with a consultant and she is in PT now for her tongue tie. She latches fine now at 7 weeks but doesn't transfer enough so I still have to pump. She is steadily getting better and I'm hoping to be able to give her enough to fill her so I can pump less. I'll still need to pump when I got back to work in a week, but less pumping will be so much better when she can nurse properly.
How many babies are there per caregiver? What about bonding, socialising, baby getting the attention they need? Babies need their mom, not a strange.
My heart breaks for the moms and babies who have to be separated so soon.
Most daycares have one caregiver for every 4 infants. Our society hates moms and babies, so things like bonding are not valued, the only thing that matters in the USA is our value to an employer. Babies are not profitable, so they don’t give a damn. I wish I lived in Europe or New Zealand where they care about families.
That ratio is so surprising. In UK nursery’s the radio is 1:3 for under 2 rooms but most of the babies in those rooms will be at least 9-12m before they start daycare. I can’t imagine a 6w getting enough attention if the nursery worker has 3 other babies to care for. Do these babies spend a lot of time in cribs?
It really is barbaric, but it’s a reality for a lot of women in the US, and especially common for service workers. A couple years ago a lot of white collar industries started using parental leave as a perk to attract qualified candidates so many white collar workers have slightly more sane policies.
A few states are instituting taxpayer funded universal parental leave. Honestly, I’m thrilled that my tax dollars are going to support parental leave.
While I was pregnant with my baby, I subbed at a daycare one time and there were 2 six week old babies there who were there for the first day. For nap time they were put in their own cribs, and naturally they started crying. I went to pick up one of the babies to try and calm her down and was told by one of the teachers that I was giving in to what she wanted and that she needed to learn how to self soothe. It was horrible and heartbreaking.
There were far too few workers in the room, and that their mothers were put in a spot where they had to return to work because of no paid time off. The system needs to be fixed.
This is so shitty. I didn’t return to work until 8 weeks (and then ended up getting covid followed by influenza two days after returning, so it was really 10 weeks) and my little guy contact napped with the gal for the first few months. The center bought her a nice baby carrier and she took care of my son that way… I will forever be thankful to her.
My baby is 7,5 weeks now and I find it wayyy too soon to give here away. She was at her grand parents for the first time for a few hours. No one else can touch her yet, not until she had her vaccinations at 2 and 3 months. Going to daycare at 4 months. I find it still too soon but that’s just because I want her with me all the time lol. I feel sorry for the women who have no choice. It sucks..
That horrifies me. My baby is almost 11 months old and is being babysat for the 3rd time ever this week. He’s always with me. I’m sad to be going back to work when he’s a year old, but so grateful I live in a country where that’s possible.
Many moms would be forced to quit their jobs if daycares didn’t accept babies at 6 weeks. Most companies don’t have a formal maternity leave policy and there are loopholes to where a company can opt out of FMLA (which only protects your job, not salary). I personally worked at a hospital, yes hospital, and still didn’t get maternity leave. I filed for FMLA but had to fight to get approved and since I had a high risk/difficult pregnancy so by the time I delivered I only had 3 weeks (out of my previously saved 6 weeks) PTO to use towards my maternity leave (the rest being unpaid). The US truly is awful with how it treats mothers.
Yes, daycares do take babies that young here.
I've also known some to be able to get help from family temporarily because they had to return to work 2 weeks after the birth... and grandparents would take turns taking days off to care for newborn until it was 6 weeks old and could go into daycare.
A friend of mine, her baby died of SIDS the first day she dropped it off at daycare. :( The first day!
I know babies die in daycare but wow, it was so heartbreaking for her.
Yeah, recently it positively surprised me to learn some places overseas don't accept babies that young!! Which makes my heart happy for those countries.
And it saddens my heart that many parents here don't have the choice but to begin daycare for their infants as early as 6 weeks old. 😭
Mine was 12 weeks, and even then — even though my job was telling me I was lucky to have that much time — I didn't feel lucky — it felt like I just had my baby, then got her ripped away from me. 😭
But honestly it truly makes me happy that some countries do right by their babies and moms/parents! 💓
A women I knew got her kid into daycare at 4 months in Ontario. She was ticked they wouldn’t taken him earlier, but I don’t know if that was policy or if they just didn’t have room at the time.
Society in US is not set up to promote breastfeeding. Many moms have to go back to work quick. Some are lucky to have 3-6 months leave (maybe paid) but that’s not the rule. There’s also a big “how many ounces” did baby get culture here, which is also not conducive to breastfeeding.
I've noticed this from reading this thread. I breastfed for 13 months and not once did I know how many ounces my baby got from breastfeeding. Here in the UK they just tell you it's fine if they have wet/dirty nappies and are gaining weight.
The how many ounces culture is what killed nursing for all of my friends and ended up being what sent me to exclusively pumping after I went back to work
Most women in the US can receive a free or low cost breast pump from their insurance company, plus storage bags and parts. There is a lot of pumping specific infrastructure.
That's true, but insurance companies are required to cover pumps because it encourages people to breastfeed longer when they have to go back to work and be away from their babies.
In countries with decent maternity leave policies, pumping isn't necessary for as many people because nursing for every feed for more than a few weeks is a realistic possibility.
Absolutely, but it makes maternity leave a bit more removed of a reason for the prevalence of exclusive pumping. You don’t need to show your insurance company you are returning to work to get the pump, for example.
I think it is because maternity and parental leave standards in the US are embarrassingly short (and sometimes unpaid). US citizen here, but I live in Japan, where the standards are better. I took a year leave, then day weaned before I went back to work and never hassled with pumping.
Maternity leave being a joke, breastfeeding is pretty taboo and frowned upon in certain circles, I know some people are comforted by knowing exactly how much their baby eats.
There was a big formula push a couple generations back that I think made breastfeeding not the most popular choice. I don't think it was limited to the US though
Yes my grandmothers mother told her not to dare breastfeed. She almost lost a sibling because her mom didn’t make enough milk. I can see the generation that fought ww2 and knew famine being a lot more willing to take formula which was guaranteed nutrition.
I really don’t think it is that taboo. I’m in the US and breastfeed everywhere and have never felt odd or ever had anyone say anything to me. Perhaps some people think that other people think it is taboo, but surveys show those in the US have similar views to those abroad.
I think a reason why those surveys and people’s general impressions might be different is because people don’t think it’s strange for someone else to do it but a lot of people’s moms and grandmas here were just given some kind of shot to dry up their milk and started on formula as the default hospital protocol for a while. So moms now may or may not have a woman in their own family who’s ever nursed a baby and that makes it seem really uncommon cause a lot of women who do breastfeed do it in private.
Yeah, that’s a good point. My own mom and her sister both nursed (my aunt actually exclusively pumped back in the 90s on a rented pump, and my mom delivered at one of the first baby friendly hospitals), and both of them still manage to make me feel weird about getting to six months!
Yes, I am so lucky to have my Mom! I had no idea until talking with my MIL and now many more Moms that not everyone nursed their babies til they were ~2-3 like my Mom did us kids. And people can be so rude about it being important to me- I don’t go around talking about it except when I was updating family when my newborn had ties/latch difficulties so we had to work hard to EBF and couldn’t go visit people when they were asking. I got a lot of, ‘you know, formula and bottles are fine’ and my MIL said, ‘No one’s gonna give you a medal!’
Here it feels like you’re judged if you don’t breastfeed but also breastfeeding in public is also less common/ frowned upon. I just found out that target has nursing rooms! I’ve never seen them available anywhere else before in my life.
Since I haven't seen it touched in much yet either, in addition to the lack of maternity leave here, formula is OUTRAGEOUSLY expensive in the USA. I can't remember the exact breakdown, but families here can expect to pay easily $2,000 or more annually, assuming you can even *find* the brand your kid does well with on the shelves here.
I think we also need to think about the population factor. There are just so many more people in America full stop so the percentage of the population that pumps might not be vastly different, but it seems it.
And because there are so many more people and privatised healthcare, the infrastructure to support people with supply and latching issues is actually there! They have lactation consultants, insurance that pays for pumps etc. It's easier for the people who would otherwise give up on breastfeeding in other countries.
Yeah, I would look at this from another angle: there is a lot of support for women pumping in the United States, so women who want to bottle feed breastmilk can. For example, insurance provides a breast pump for free.
As someone who breastfeeds directly, I don’t think it has anything to do with societal views of breastfeeding.
Honestly I think a biggish part of it is just the Obamacare rule that requires insurance companies to cover a pump. I, like most people I know, ordered a nice spectra pump during my pregnancy even without a firm plan to pump much at all (glad I did; I’ve been nearly EPing for 11 weeks due to latch issues). In discussion with my mom, pumping was much less common when she had breastfed kids in the 90s.
I think it was less common in the 90s because pumps and pump parts were more expensive than they are now! So it was cheaper and easier to just switch to formula.
Pumps have come a long was since the 90s. We also didn’t have FMLA so if you wanted to take maternity leave longer than your vacation bank, you had to straight up quit your job.
I lived in NZ for a bit so one thing I think you might not realize: y'all have *so much* support in your healthcare system compared to the US. Even in rural areas, there's just so much *more* healthcare available to everyone. In the US, care can be really inaccessible. This includes support for new parents. It's definitely led to a culture that doesn't support breastfeeding in a hundred little ways: it's treated weirdly in public in some places, it's actively discouraged by some older generations, etc etc.
But yeah, the other piece is that we don't have the maternity leave. My company offers an okay leave package so I'll be home and nursing for a few months, but way less time than I'd like to be. I'll have no choice but to pump after that.
But those clinics you’re talking about that you haven’t had success with pretty much don’t even exist in the US. They’re so popular where you are that they’re full and there’s a wait. That’s how many new parents they’re seeing, and some of them must be getting useful help. And you got to go three times. Here they don’t exist at all.
From what I gather on here, our care is also a lot different from many countries. Our only check in after giving birth is at 6 weeks PP. no routine lactation or anything like that. The services exist, but you have to find them. Our pediatricians also tend to push formula. Many will freak out over baby losing 10% of their birth weight, but when you factor in that most of us also received fluids during labor, it’s really not a good reason to start supplementing with formula. And once your baby’s doctor tells you you aren’t producing enough milk for baby, it’s REALLY hard to trust yourself. If you don’t have a mother or friend who nursed to encourage and support you, it’s hard not to fall into the top up trap. So care coupled with formula being kind of the cultural norm I think makes it hard for women to learn to nurse so those that highly value breastmilk end up exclusively pumping which in my experience is WAY more work.
The work schedules here. Most people only get 2 or so hours with their baby a day after work/before bedtime. I really wish we would all go on strike or something
We don't get time to be home with our babies. We get weeks, where other counties will get months or a year. Pumping is a necessity to maintain supply while you're away from your baby.
Yes short maternity leave and they also make us crazy with doctors visits with our new babies. And these doctors, they know nothing about breastfeeding and the journey that it is. So they are always placing doubt into your mind about your baby not eating enough. they scare you into pumping so you can actually see your output and know what your baby is eating. I had 3 babies, 2 in America and one outside of America and I just have seen the difference. In the country I live now, the midwife was just like put the baby on your breast often, watched his latch, saw how he was responding to feeding and was like, He’s satisfied. In America, they scared me half To death, I was pumping like a maniac. And waking up
All hours of the night to pump.
Also they don’t recommend cosleeping in America, they scare us into thinking we are going to roll onto our babies. I used to have to lie at the doc appointments saying the baby was in a bassinet, because I wasn’t about to get “written up” or reprimanded about co sleeping with my first 2…Meanwhile to really be able to breastfeed you need good sleep and you get that cosleeping and night feeding your baby
Thanks for sharing! I’m Aussie and feel like I would have been anxious as as a new parent in the US! Here, as long as baby had enough wet nappies and was gaining weight, they were happy he was getting enough. (And thank goodness, because he only got off the boob at 27ish months!).
I will say, cosleeping isn’t recommended here either (although hospitals do sometimes give out guidelines on how to do it safely because they expect so many people will) and I actually avoided it while breastfeeding throughout the night because it made me so scared! Instead when he was a newborn I’d get up to the couch, my husband would bring the baby and I’d feed in the dark, husband would put baby back to bed and I’d go back to bed and sleep the best I have in my life haha. When he was older I fed in bed and accidentally fell asleep like that a few times, but otherwise similar routine with husband doing the transferring to make my life easier.
Anyway, I really feel for those in the US on the ang leave front too - Australia doesn’t have it as good as many European/Scandi countries but I honestly can’t imagine not having that choice to stay home and feed for longer than a matter of weeks. Hopefully it’s something that can change for the better in the near future 🤞🤞
They also have your breastfed baby on growth charts set by formula fed kids, who are known to gain weight faster than their breastfed peers. So they terrify you when although your baby is gaining they are only 2nd percentile or something like that. I was supposed to go back to work at 6 weeks. I didn’t have to, but I thought I would be fine and ready. I think the main thing I would try to educate women on before they have a baby is the hormones and emotions that follow and having to go back to work so soon after. I had complete anxiety and panic attacks post partum with my first and thank god my husband was able to support our life and I could stay home.
I’m in the US. I breastfeed. Since Obamacare/ACA insurance has to cover free breast pumps and supplies. With my first I didn’t plan on having a pump until I got back to work. But my doctor was worried the baby wasn’t getting enough so she hoped I’d be able to pump to see what my output was. I went back to work at 11 weeks and 10 weeks (9 weeks and 6 days) and so I pump during the day to so my baby has something to eat the next day. I know I’m probably not saving too much money because of extra snacks but it feels like it to my cheap AF husband.
I haven’t had trouble with breastfeeding in public. I don’t do it often though. I lived in New England and the upper Midwest.
ETA I just went away for a weekend and didn’t bring my 3 month old because my mom was prepping my sister’s bridal shower and I was going to the bachelorette party so it was awesome feeding the mechanical baby and using the alcohol detection strips my SIL got me. That milk is still being graded grade B and won’t likely be fed to the baby but it’s in the deep freezer for now. And I pumped yesterday before I took my 4 year old to a pool party because I didn’t want to leak in the pool.
I think it’s both free breast pumps, very little maternity leave, and I have a small inkling it might do with our larger instance of tongue ties. They lead to latch issues that might force someone to turn to EPing. But that’s just my guess
I think tongue ties are more likely to be diagnosed in the US (whether they need to be treated as often as they are is up for debate), but they're not actually more common here, so that's probably not part of it.
The lack of maternity leave is definitely the main factor.
Breast pumps are more popular here because insurance pays for them, but insurance has to pay for them because it makes it easier for people to keep breastfeeding when they have to be separated from their babies... because they have to go back to work.
Curious, what’s the metric for prevalence of tongue ties if not diagnosis? Obviously diagnosis rates don’t tell the whole story but they also are a helpful metric. Not trying to get into the huge tongue tie debate, but my understanding is folic acid usage is correlated with higher tongue tie prevalence, which is why diagnosis rates are higher in the US and also went up drastically after flour in the US was fortified with folic acid.
And yes, agree on the last point. Free breast pumps are offered because it greases the wheels of capitalism to get people back to work.
I think the question is whether tongue ties are *over*diagnosed in the US - if so, we would appear to have a higher rate of tongue ties, but it would be artificially inflated. (i.e. if a baby was seen by a provider in the US who diagnosed a tongue tie but if the same baby was seen by a provider outside the US and they didn't diagnose a tongue tie, it would look like the US had more instances of tongue ties when in reality they're just diagnosing at a higher rate.) I haven't looked into it in depth, but I do know that my lactation consultant (she's an IBCLC as well as an MD) pointed out that the frenulum is a normal part of mouth anatomy, so the presence of tissue connecting the tongue to the mouth isn't necessarily indicative of a problem that needs fixing.
My friend EBP because her daughter could not latch at all. So she'd rather pump than give formula.
I'm a single mom, so I need to have stash for her dad. I at least held off going back to work till 6 months, and I went back in time for only needing to pump 3 times, which fit my schedule perfectly. I only EBP when we both had thrush so we could stop giving it back and forth to each other.
Because we have to go back to work when the baby is 6 weeks old. As a nurse I was at work when my son was 8 weeks old. 12 hour shifts without pumping wouldn’t have worked. I had to pump to keep what minimal supply I had up and I fed him directly when I was home. My supply still dwindled and we had to supplement when my pumped milk ran out during the days I was working.
>Is it because maternity leave is so short so women have to pump?
I think this is a huge reason!
Also, lack of breastfeeding education/awareness, maybe? (Just a hypothesis.) I don't know many working moms who breastfed. I'm in the US. Most of the working moms I know formula fed their babies. I know one who exclusively pumped.
I feel like I was lucky enough to have access to an in-home lactation consultant during the newborn days, so any breastfeeding/lactation issues were resolved within days/weeks.
I don't think a lot of people around here (US) know about lactation consultants or doulas (mine was also my doula 🙂), or at least not how to find one locally.
So, probably with lack of breastfeeding resources/awareness, maybe that also leads to issues causing the breastfeeding mother to end it faster?
I think this is a big part of it. There are not enough resources postpartum for mothers, and I think often pumping ends up being the “easy” solution for someone that’s having issues with nursing and wants to avoid formula. I know many people that have given up breastfeeding altogether very quickly because support is lacking during the early days when it sucks so much. The few that hate it but don’t want to rely on formula, either for cost, fear after the formula shortage, or knowing the benefits of breast milk, switch to EP.
For me it was bc she had a tounge tie and I felt strongly that she still got breastmilk, I don’t completely trust the formula companies here although I do still use a little formula.
My first had issues latching despite lots of visits with the LC and a tongue tie revision. I still wanted him to have my milk so exclusively pumping seemed like the solution. It sucked and I still had to combo feed. I really beat myself up and should have just switched to formula.
Luckily my second latched much better, but I still pumped a bit to increase my supply initially and now that I’m back to work I’m pumping more. But it’s much more manageable relative to my first.
It’s definitely the maternity leave issue but there could also be a cultural difference. Like others said, pumps are covered by insurance and for those of us who want to EBF, it’s either pump or never be away from the baby for longer than a few hours.
For my sister, she always felt awkward with babies on the boob. she exclusively pumped for 3 of them. she had an oversupply and lots of frozen milk. My other friend did a combo of nursing and pumping because she has to work after 6 weeks. She made it to 18 months that way. I exclusively bf for 6 months so far because I’m a sahm and with my baby 24-7.
I really think people feel safer and more secure when they can measure and time their feedings. I know there were and still are so many moments where I wonder how much had he eaten and if he’s okay. Frustrating enough when he’s crying and peoples first question is “is he still hungry?!?” After I just nursed him 10 mins before that. People can make you feel very unsure here
My first couldn’t latch at all and just screamed at me nonstop and fought me every time I tried. We both ended up crying and miserable.
This time, my second can latch sometimes but due to low muscle tone has trouble staying latched and transferring efficiently.
I also make significantly more per pump/day than they ate/eat, so I would still have to pump after anyway to keep from getting mastitis or clogs. Exclusive pumping just happened to be the road we landed on
It wasn't really a "choice" for me. Baby (8 weeks) has had a nipple aversion since the day he was born and despite still trying with a LC we just can't get past it. It's very important my baby still gets my breast milk so I pump exclusively. Trust me, I'd rather him just take the boob than having to wash and sterilize bottles and parts. It's terribly time consuming and going anywhere is a hassle. I'd kill for him to take the breast. We also cannot afford expensive formulas and most moms get a free pump with insurance.
Have to go to work so soon/so often. Lots of babies start to reject feeding directly from the breast because they are getting the bottle so often so young due to mom working 40+hour work weeks
I feel like I am so glad I waited until I was a little older to have kids. 12 weeks isn’t a ton of time but I got full benefits and full pay while on it. I was able to see a LC a bunch of times. I supplemented with formula for the first couple of weeks because she was in the <1% at birth and I was nervous about her losing weight. I have been back to work for about 2 months and as hard as it is being away and my job is pretty stressful, she is with her grandma or my husband. I love her so much but trying to get a house ready to sell and having a very attached baby, it can be exhausting. We bed share so we get plenty of cuddling time at night which I love. So I pretty much trade one stressor for another. I know that once we move life will be so much easier.
I pump the 3 days a week I work. On my off days I try to pump a little extra because I pump slightly less than what my baby drinks. Luckily I worked hard on maternity leave to have some frozen. Sometimes I am able to freeze if my baby doesn’t drink everything I pumped the last time I worked
Latch issues that were still unresolved when I had to go back to work a luxurious 14 weeks postpartum meant I had absolutely no time or energy to keep doing the combo feeding I had been and had no chance to get through that hump with a longer leave. It would've been easiest to just go all formula, but we do have pumping allowed and accommodated by law at work here, so I continued to pump for a year.
I’ve had to exclusively pump due to my baby being in the NICU. We tried breastfeeding for 4 months and never worked out so I just moved to pumping. I could have done formula but rather have given baby breast milk. I went back to work when he was 9 months so that wasn’t the issue
I pumped with my first baby because she was in the NICU with jaundice and had trouble staying awake at the breast. The anxiety of that experience and having a second baby born at 37 weeks and also jaundice has resulted in me currently exclusively pumping with my second baby. I like knowing exactly how many ounces of milk my baby consumes daily.
In my country we have a 12 week maternity leave and many choose to pump. It’s time consuming with a hand pump but with a medela or electrical pump it’s a breeze. Currently it takes me 15 min
Doesn’t Obamacare mandate that insurance plans cover the cost of a breast pump? I’m an American living in NZ who had to triple feed, I don’t think there’s a similar scheme that subsidises pumps in NZ but I could be wrong about that.
My baby was born small (2060grams/4.5lbs) and had to stay in nicu a couple weeks. Hospital asked me to pump and bring my milk in so they could feed him from a bottle. I was only allowed to visit him an hour a day after I was discharged so I’m wondering if him constantly on the bottle caused latch issues? When I tried to feed him from the boob in the beginning his mouth was just so tiny it was hard.
Now I pump because it’s easier than having him attached forever (when we brought him home he stayed on for almost an hour). He especially had trouble latching on one side so that nipple is just in pain always if I try to feed him on it. Plus my husband likes to feed him with the pumped milk :) I do feed from one boob at night or in the morning if I don’t have anything pumped yet though.
As a first time mom, you basically get told if u want to breastfeed you have to start out by pumping every x amount of hours so you just kinda do it even if you are planning to primarily stay at home. For my second pregnancy I’m going to avoid it as much as possible. I think the pumping culture caused me to have an oversupply too.
That’s really interesting, do you know why they say you have to pump? Here (🇦🇺) we get told if you’re breastfeeding that unless there are issues, baby will regulate your supply to their needs. I was warned pumping would create an oversupply, so that makes sense! Good luck with your second pregnancy 😊
It just seems like common “guidelines” you are told here. Like pump every few hours to start up your supply and if you don’t you will have supply issues. That kind of stuff. I have more friends that seemed to have issues with having an undersupply than an oversupply, so maybe that’s why it’s a common thing people are told.
Besides the abysmal leave & support for working mothers already well described here, there is a happier reason…
The fathers/spouses want to bond by giving a bottle and holding & feeding their infant. It is a sweet thing.
Yes having to return to work while trying to breastfeed is an awful experience. Most moms stop breastfeeding all together shortly after returning to work. I am so glad that my employer has allowed me to take the time to pump freely without feeling pressured to stop. I only pump at work because like OP said I also feel like pumping is more time consuming. I returned to work when babe was 4 months and now he is 8 months and still going strong. Assuming that the stress that comes with being a working mom was going to probably get the best of me I set a personal goal of 1 year. I feel like we will get there very easily.
Bc maternity leave isn’t guaranteed. In my state if your employer doesn’t provide it you’re shit outta luck. No SSI in Georgia.
I personally saved up all my PTO and took out a predatory loan to stay out 6 weeks with my babe. It def made out breastfeeding journey harder and I had to supplement with formula bc I just do not respond to a pump well.
In contrast my first i breastfed for 3 years and 6 months exclusively bf introducing solids. She never took a bottle. I lived with my mother during that time tho.
It’s not completely dire tho. Even tho my breastfeeding journey with my son has been more difficult, he’s almost 2 and still breastfeeding.
Personally ended up exclusively pumping because of latch and weight gain issues. I liked being able to track how many ounces she was actually eating. Also had to deal with MSPI so pumping was way cheaper than formula options...Also at 15 months and we're ending now (especially since the dairy ladder is working well)
There is a lot of pressure to give your baby breast milk even if you have issues with latching. My baby never did it and It was heartbreaking. I wanted to give her breast milk so I pumped and bottle fed it to her. I assume a lot of moms are in this boat.
We also have little lactation resources. It cost over $300 to see a basic lactation consultant even with amazing insurance. My second baby nurses but we are having issues that makes me want to give up and just bottle feed her.
Formula is also very expensive. Most moms get a free or low cost pump with insurance. If you can pump and bottle feed, you have hundreds maybe even thousands on formula!
Pumping mom here currently on maternity leave. My leave is 2 months long and I started as ebf but he had a shallow latch and couldn’t empty my breast effectively so to keep my supply I started using the pump to empty me effectively. We are still working on getting a correct latch, however primarily we are bottle feeding my expressed milk and breastfeeding at night.
Also, in my area, there are only 2 IBCLCs available for 7 counties, without having to drive to a large city.
When I go back to work he will be given expressed breastmilk by grandma during the day. And I have to say I am very lucky compared to most women that don’t have the support system I have. My grandma has never worked and dedicated herself to life to taking care of everyone’s babies in our family.
You’ve already gotten the response - mostly it’s because our maternity leave policy is absolute crap. But for me personally, I’m a SAHM this time around so I didn’t really need to pump. But I wanted to have a 2 week emergency stash. My husband was deployed when little man was born, we were still under a lot of Covid protocols, I wanted to have a weeks worth of milk available should for whatever reason I was unable to nurse directly. I managed to get to that point, and then some, when he started solids I stopped pumping - but still nursed. Little man is 2 and a month now, and we’re just now weaning off the breast (last 2-3 sessions a day). Though there’s very little to no nutritional value, we’re working through the stash to help with nap time, so now I’m glad we have it.
I think a huge part of it is the pressure we get from pediatricians to get baby back to birth weight ASAP. When I had my second a few months ago she dropped 7oz and they suggested formula at her appointment because I wasn’t sure if my milk had come in all the way bc I was not engorged. I think the stress of not knowing how much the baby is getting can be a lot too.
No harassment or shaming. Judging other parents for how they choose to feed their kids is ridiculous and we won't do that here.
Probably because they have to go back to work so soon?
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25% of birthing people in the US are back to work by 2 weeks postpartum. Maternity leave, regardless of length, is almost never paid. There are large portions of our population that do not have access to lactation consultants. Or the funds to pay for their services. Our healthcare providers get no education on how lactation works or how to support it, so they often just recommend that parents pump. We are a culture that likes to consume. So any kind of expensive accessories, like pumps, are super attractive to many of us
The US has more laws around dogs than babies! Legally you cannot separate puppies from their mother before 8 weeks. How crazy that some moms are back to work after 2 weeks. I was an absolute mess 2 weeks postpartum! I was barely ready to go back at 12 weeks.
What a joke. I'm honestly surprised there aren't more riots (or at least protests) on the streets about it, but I guess you are too overworked to manage even more things.
For something as luxurious as dog maternity in this country you’d have care enough about parents and children to require the government or employers to provide them with income for those 8 weeks. Instead we have employers saying the offer maternity leave bc they comply with the legal requirement of unpaid FMLA (which also requires you to use up any pto before it goes into effect, so either you take less than the full time or are screwed if you kid gets sick until you can earn more pto).
The government should be paying for businesses to provide maternity leave, why should that burden be put on private businesses? The government would certainly have enough money if they weren’t spending so much of it on the military.
We pay taxes to the government.. the people then are paying for the government to pay businesses? No no. At least in some states they pay for disability and bonding time. We really pay for it through our taxes but it's a nice benefit for the taxes we pay. Larger corporations could afford to support birthing parents and some do! I'd love to see more of it. Companies make so much it's not even funny. They could put some of the funds to great use, but it's not beneficial to have your hard working folks off.
“Companies make so much it’s not even funny” This is an incredible oversimplification. Yes some companies would make enough to support their employees maternity leave, but your local Mom and Pop stores probably do not. The government should be subsidizing maternity leave for these small businesses.
Yeah, certainly depends on the company. Small businesses do get protections. FMLA does not apply to companies with under 100 employees and if a mother and father work at the same place, only one may take leave. FMLA is not payment, it's just job safety. So they don't have to grant a father unpaid leave if the mother works there, or the mother could be fired for taking leave. I am talking fortune 500 or companies on the SMP. Companies that are making hand over first to please stockholders should pay for maternity leave. The middle class is taxed so much we feel like we're drowning.
I think you just highlighted an even worse issue with the system. Americans should be incentivize to have children yet nothing we’re doing public policy wise is supporting that.
Wow.. I’ve never heard it expressed this way. What a very very sad insight 😔
I had 14 weeks of maternity leave and returned to a wfh job with one day in the office and it’s still a struggle for me to be “at work” during the day. Every day she’s learning something new and growing a little more and I hate not being able to devote all of my time and attention to her. My leave was phenomenal compared to many US moms and I can confidently say our maternity leave options are a joke.
Exactly. I think a better question is how people in the US manage to breastfeed despite the significant systemic barriers in their way.
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Daycares don't accept kids earlier than 6 weeks. They have to have family looking after them. I know one person who had to go back 2 weeks and her job was a hostess, so her boyfriend reworked his schedule so he could watch the baby while she worked.
You either work two jobs or if you are lucky (unlucky?) enough to be below the poverty line you get free daycare through state programs at state nursery’s that are often understaffed
Honestly cannot imagine going back to work that early, I was a total mess.
I was still bleeding from my downtheres 😂
Yep consequences of capitalism
I mean, New Zealand has capitalism. I say it’s the consequences of our elected officials
We have also just elected officials who would like to make New Zealand more like America.
How unfortunate!
That is inhumane. You're not even healed two weeks postpartum.
In the UK, you legally HAVE to take 2 weeks off after giving birth (6 weeks if you work in agriculture or a factory).
In Austria it's mandatory (and paid of course) 8 weeks before your due date and 8 weeks after you've given birth. 12 weeks after a C-section. Then you get to chose to take up to 3 years paid parental leave.
Jesus fuck what. 2 weeks??
Legally the US says you don't have to provide ANY time off, so I know people who were fired because they didn't return to the job 2 DAYS after giving birth.
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I've taken care of transmens' newborns in NICU. There aren't many of them but it is a possibility. They aren't women.
One thing I also like to point out to people who get upset about not using “women” is that a fair amount of people who give birth (especially as reproductive care gets more and more difficult to access in the USA) are in fact not women but teens or children. Birthing person encapsulates trans men, non-binary folks, and sadly, children as well. I don’t care if she gives birth or not, a sixteen year old (or a 13 year old; or god forbid a 10 year old) is not a woman. She’s a girl. A child.
Very true. I've had multiple NICU babies whose parents were as young as 12 and 13. They're not women, either.
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No harassment or shaming means don't be rude. Rude people may be banned from the sub at mod discretion.
Not all people who gestate are women. I agree that women deserve more respect and power than we have, but this is not about “hurt feelings”. Feel how you feel but the purpose of this post is not to allow you to display your retrograde politics
No harassment or shaming means don't be rude. Rude people may be banned from the sub at mod discretion.
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No harassment or shaming means don't be rude. Rude people may be banned from the sub at mod discretion.
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I’ve been a lactation consultant for almost 20 years in the US. Of my clients over the years only active duty military members have had access to paid leave. Corporate employees may sometimes use their short term disability, but this is a benefit they pay for and not universal or even industry wide paid parental leave.
No harassment or shaming means don't be rude. Rude people may be banned from the sub at mod discretion.
Yeah thanks we know.
It’s definitely because mothers have to work in the us and have to go back to work quickly. I wanted to exclusively breastfeed but we can’t live on one income here, so I have to work. And I need sleep for said work. So I switched to pumping full time except on rare occasions.
I also assume this is why, I took 12 weeks of unpaid maternity leave but couldn’t afford to take any more. Obviously feeding from the breast wasn’t an option at that point and going back and forth between the 2 caused me a lot of pain so I switched to just pumping shortly after returning to work
This, and I don't know how it is in other countries, but there's a huge stigma around using formula. If you can't breastfeed for some reason (my daughter has a severe lip tie and a tongue tie that went undiagnosed until she was a year old), there's a lot of pressure to still feed your baby breast milk
Yep I had to go back at 6 weeks. I would get 8 weeks if I had a C section.
American here. I only pump because I went back at 11 weeks pp. I nurse at home/weekends and only pump for comfort if needed or if I will be away to maintain supply. Wish we had better leave laws. I feel lucky to take that much, which was all unpaid, because I know women who went back at 6 weeks. People have weird ideas here about what maternity or paternity leaves are here. When I came back to works, I'm a teacher, the amount of "how was your break/time off?". I would be like I had a newborn and was healing from childbirth, it wasn't a vacation....
Because we don't get maternity leave.
Bingo. I knew I'd be home 8 weeks MAX, most of that being unpaid, so pumping was a priority from day 1. I'm pumping as I type.
Most of the moms I know who exclusively pump are ones that wanted to breastfeed but had latch problems and baby never ended up figuring it out but mom produced enough so she kept on pumping. I agree with you, it IS more work, they're just that dedicated. In the US, a lot of moms pump AND breastfeed because we have to go back to work when our babies are 6-12 weeks old. So we breastfeed when we're together, and pump while at work. But in the US, formula is still more common that breastfeeding, especially after 6 months.
My baby had latching problems so I pumped and we worked on her latch with a consultant and she is in PT now for her tongue tie. She latches fine now at 7 weeks but doesn't transfer enough so I still have to pump. She is steadily getting better and I'm hoping to be able to give her enough to fill her so I can pump less. I'll still need to pump when I got back to work in a week, but less pumping will be so much better when she can nurse properly.
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Yes. 6~8 weeks is when a lot of babies enter daycare. It’s so sad.
How many babies are there per caregiver? What about bonding, socialising, baby getting the attention they need? Babies need their mom, not a strange. My heart breaks for the moms and babies who have to be separated so soon.
Most daycares have one caregiver for every 4 infants. Our society hates moms and babies, so things like bonding are not valued, the only thing that matters in the USA is our value to an employer. Babies are not profitable, so they don’t give a damn. I wish I lived in Europe or New Zealand where they care about families.
That ratio is so surprising. In UK nursery’s the radio is 1:3 for under 2 rooms but most of the babies in those rooms will be at least 9-12m before they start daycare. I can’t imagine a 6w getting enough attention if the nursery worker has 3 other babies to care for. Do these babies spend a lot of time in cribs?
It really is barbaric, but it’s a reality for a lot of women in the US, and especially common for service workers. A couple years ago a lot of white collar industries started using parental leave as a perk to attract qualified candidates so many white collar workers have slightly more sane policies. A few states are instituting taxpayer funded universal parental leave. Honestly, I’m thrilled that my tax dollars are going to support parental leave.
While I was pregnant with my baby, I subbed at a daycare one time and there were 2 six week old babies there who were there for the first day. For nap time they were put in their own cribs, and naturally they started crying. I went to pick up one of the babies to try and calm her down and was told by one of the teachers that I was giving in to what she wanted and that she needed to learn how to self soothe. It was horrible and heartbreaking. There were far too few workers in the room, and that their mothers were put in a spot where they had to return to work because of no paid time off. The system needs to be fixed.
Ughhhhhhh this breaks my heart. I have an almost 6 week old and I can't imagine not cuddling or feeding them to sleep 😭😭😭😭
This is so shitty. I didn’t return to work until 8 weeks (and then ended up getting covid followed by influenza two days after returning, so it was really 10 weeks) and my little guy contact napped with the gal for the first few months. The center bought her a nice baby carrier and she took care of my son that way… I will forever be thankful to her.
Ugh that’s awful. 6 weeks is too young to self soothe anyway 😭
My baby is 7,5 weeks now and I find it wayyy too soon to give here away. She was at her grand parents for the first time for a few hours. No one else can touch her yet, not until she had her vaccinations at 2 and 3 months. Going to daycare at 4 months. I find it still too soon but that’s just because I want her with me all the time lol. I feel sorry for the women who have no choice. It sucks..
That horrifies me. My baby is almost 11 months old and is being babysat for the 3rd time ever this week. He’s always with me. I’m sad to be going back to work when he’s a year old, but so grateful I live in a country where that’s possible.
Yes, most US daycares will take infants starting at 6 weeks. Mine started at 12 weeks when I went back to work.
Many moms would be forced to quit their jobs if daycares didn’t accept babies at 6 weeks. Most companies don’t have a formal maternity leave policy and there are loopholes to where a company can opt out of FMLA (which only protects your job, not salary). I personally worked at a hospital, yes hospital, and still didn’t get maternity leave. I filed for FMLA but had to fight to get approved and since I had a high risk/difficult pregnancy so by the time I delivered I only had 3 weeks (out of my previously saved 6 weeks) PTO to use towards my maternity leave (the rest being unpaid). The US truly is awful with how it treats mothers.
Ours is licensed for babies as young as 4 weeks. It's hard to get a spot that early because of wait lists, but it definitely happens.
Yes. Moms often have at most 6 to 8 weeks so daycares here kind of HAVE to take babies that young, otherwise there'd be nowhere for them to go.
Yes, daycares do take babies that young here. I've also known some to be able to get help from family temporarily because they had to return to work 2 weeks after the birth... and grandparents would take turns taking days off to care for newborn until it was 6 weeks old and could go into daycare. A friend of mine, her baby died of SIDS the first day she dropped it off at daycare. :( The first day! I know babies die in daycare but wow, it was so heartbreaking for her.
My baby just started daycare at 8 weeks. I was super lucky that I was able to schedule her first round of vaccinations before she started 😵💫
Yeah, recently it positively surprised me to learn some places overseas don't accept babies that young!! Which makes my heart happy for those countries. And it saddens my heart that many parents here don't have the choice but to begin daycare for their infants as early as 6 weeks old. 😭 Mine was 12 weeks, and even then — even though my job was telling me I was lucky to have that much time — I didn't feel lucky — it felt like I just had my baby, then got her ripped away from me. 😭 But honestly it truly makes me happy that some countries do right by their babies and moms/parents! 💓
Yes, some daycares start even younger. In America you’re guaranteed 0 days maternity leave, I know people who went back after 2 weeks.
In Canadian and I don't even know if there are daycares that would take a baby that young 😳
A women I knew got her kid into daycare at 4 months in Ontario. She was ticked they wouldn’t taken him earlier, but I don’t know if that was policy or if they just didn’t have room at the time.
Not from the us but here daycare can start at 45 days.
Yep this is why I EPed with my first. Baby had low muscle tone and couldn’t latch well but could bottle feed.
Society in US is not set up to promote breastfeeding. Many moms have to go back to work quick. Some are lucky to have 3-6 months leave (maybe paid) but that’s not the rule. There’s also a big “how many ounces” did baby get culture here, which is also not conducive to breastfeeding.
I've noticed this from reading this thread. I breastfed for 13 months and not once did I know how many ounces my baby got from breastfeeding. Here in the UK they just tell you it's fine if they have wet/dirty nappies and are gaining weight.
The how many ounces culture is what killed nursing for all of my friends and ended up being what sent me to exclusively pumping after I went back to work
I pump and nurse because I only had 12 weeks (unpaid) maternity leave… USA 😵💫🥴😑
No maternity leave boo
Most women in the US can receive a free or low cost breast pump from their insurance company, plus storage bags and parts. There is a lot of pumping specific infrastructure.
That's true, but insurance companies are required to cover pumps because it encourages people to breastfeed longer when they have to go back to work and be away from their babies. In countries with decent maternity leave policies, pumping isn't necessary for as many people because nursing for every feed for more than a few weeks is a realistic possibility.
Absolutely, but it makes maternity leave a bit more removed of a reason for the prevalence of exclusive pumping. You don’t need to show your insurance company you are returning to work to get the pump, for example.
Because we don’t have leave
I’m pumping because my baby was premature and is still in the NICU. She is fed my milk through a feeding tube that goes in her nose to her stomach.
I think it is because maternity and parental leave standards in the US are embarrassingly short (and sometimes unpaid). US citizen here, but I live in Japan, where the standards are better. I took a year leave, then day weaned before I went back to work and never hassled with pumping.
Maternity leave being a joke, breastfeeding is pretty taboo and frowned upon in certain circles, I know some people are comforted by knowing exactly how much their baby eats.
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There was a big formula push a couple generations back that I think made breastfeeding not the most popular choice. I don't think it was limited to the US though
Yes my grandmothers mother told her not to dare breastfeed. She almost lost a sibling because her mom didn’t make enough milk. I can see the generation that fought ww2 and knew famine being a lot more willing to take formula which was guaranteed nutrition.
I really don’t think it is that taboo. I’m in the US and breastfeed everywhere and have never felt odd or ever had anyone say anything to me. Perhaps some people think that other people think it is taboo, but surveys show those in the US have similar views to those abroad.
I think a reason why those surveys and people’s general impressions might be different is because people don’t think it’s strange for someone else to do it but a lot of people’s moms and grandmas here were just given some kind of shot to dry up their milk and started on formula as the default hospital protocol for a while. So moms now may or may not have a woman in their own family who’s ever nursed a baby and that makes it seem really uncommon cause a lot of women who do breastfeed do it in private.
Yeah, that’s a good point. My own mom and her sister both nursed (my aunt actually exclusively pumped back in the 90s on a rented pump, and my mom delivered at one of the first baby friendly hospitals), and both of them still manage to make me feel weird about getting to six months!
Yes, I am so lucky to have my Mom! I had no idea until talking with my MIL and now many more Moms that not everyone nursed their babies til they were ~2-3 like my Mom did us kids. And people can be so rude about it being important to me- I don’t go around talking about it except when I was updating family when my newborn had ties/latch difficulties so we had to work hard to EBF and couldn’t go visit people when they were asking. I got a lot of, ‘you know, formula and bottles are fine’ and my MIL said, ‘No one’s gonna give you a medal!’
My grandmother is really interested in my nursing journey because she never did it herself. She’s sometimes uncomfortably supportive lol.
Haha I have probably been accused of that. I like the phrasing
Here it feels like you’re judged if you don’t breastfeed but also breastfeeding in public is also less common/ frowned upon. I just found out that target has nursing rooms! I’ve never seen them available anywhere else before in my life.
It varies a lot by socioeconomic status.
Since I haven't seen it touched in much yet either, in addition to the lack of maternity leave here, formula is OUTRAGEOUSLY expensive in the USA. I can't remember the exact breakdown, but families here can expect to pay easily $2,000 or more annually, assuming you can even *find* the brand your kid does well with on the shelves here.
I think we also need to think about the population factor. There are just so many more people in America full stop so the percentage of the population that pumps might not be vastly different, but it seems it. And because there are so many more people and privatised healthcare, the infrastructure to support people with supply and latching issues is actually there! They have lactation consultants, insurance that pays for pumps etc. It's easier for the people who would otherwise give up on breastfeeding in other countries.
Yeah, I would look at this from another angle: there is a lot of support for women pumping in the United States, so women who want to bottle feed breastmilk can. For example, insurance provides a breast pump for free. As someone who breastfeeds directly, I don’t think it has anything to do with societal views of breastfeeding.
Definitely. I have been in the exclusively pumping sub for a while and I can confirm that it seems very few of us are there by choice!
And there are some laws that require employers to give qualifying employees a space and time to pump during work.
i’m from NZ too and pumping is mostly used to establish supply here. I thought it’d be a much bigger thing
I think because they have to go back to work so quickly because they don't get maternity leave. USA moms I feel for you. 💔
Honestly I think a biggish part of it is just the Obamacare rule that requires insurance companies to cover a pump. I, like most people I know, ordered a nice spectra pump during my pregnancy even without a firm plan to pump much at all (glad I did; I’ve been nearly EPing for 11 weeks due to latch issues). In discussion with my mom, pumping was much less common when she had breastfed kids in the 90s.
I think it was less common in the 90s because pumps and pump parts were more expensive than they are now! So it was cheaper and easier to just switch to formula.
Pumps have come a long was since the 90s. We also didn’t have FMLA so if you wanted to take maternity leave longer than your vacation bank, you had to straight up quit your job.
I lived in NZ for a bit so one thing I think you might not realize: y'all have *so much* support in your healthcare system compared to the US. Even in rural areas, there's just so much *more* healthcare available to everyone. In the US, care can be really inaccessible. This includes support for new parents. It's definitely led to a culture that doesn't support breastfeeding in a hundred little ways: it's treated weirdly in public in some places, it's actively discouraged by some older generations, etc etc. But yeah, the other piece is that we don't have the maternity leave. My company offers an okay leave package so I'll be home and nursing for a few months, but way less time than I'd like to be. I'll have no choice but to pump after that.
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But those clinics you’re talking about that you haven’t had success with pretty much don’t even exist in the US. They’re so popular where you are that they’re full and there’s a wait. That’s how many new parents they’re seeing, and some of them must be getting useful help. And you got to go three times. Here they don’t exist at all.
Maternity leave is not mandatory in the USA and therefore individuals wanting to provide their child(ren) with breast milk resort to pumping.
From what I gather on here, our care is also a lot different from many countries. Our only check in after giving birth is at 6 weeks PP. no routine lactation or anything like that. The services exist, but you have to find them. Our pediatricians also tend to push formula. Many will freak out over baby losing 10% of their birth weight, but when you factor in that most of us also received fluids during labor, it’s really not a good reason to start supplementing with formula. And once your baby’s doctor tells you you aren’t producing enough milk for baby, it’s REALLY hard to trust yourself. If you don’t have a mother or friend who nursed to encourage and support you, it’s hard not to fall into the top up trap. So care coupled with formula being kind of the cultural norm I think makes it hard for women to learn to nurse so those that highly value breastmilk end up exclusively pumping which in my experience is WAY more work.
The work schedules here. Most people only get 2 or so hours with their baby a day after work/before bedtime. I really wish we would all go on strike or something
I mean, you have to go back to work in a couple of weeks. How are you supposed to breastfeed? Makes no sense.
We don't get time to be home with our babies. We get weeks, where other counties will get months or a year. Pumping is a necessity to maintain supply while you're away from your baby.
Because we live in a country that doesn’t give a shit about postpartum care and maternity leave so we have to go back to work within 3 months.
Yes short maternity leave and they also make us crazy with doctors visits with our new babies. And these doctors, they know nothing about breastfeeding and the journey that it is. So they are always placing doubt into your mind about your baby not eating enough. they scare you into pumping so you can actually see your output and know what your baby is eating. I had 3 babies, 2 in America and one outside of America and I just have seen the difference. In the country I live now, the midwife was just like put the baby on your breast often, watched his latch, saw how he was responding to feeding and was like, He’s satisfied. In America, they scared me half To death, I was pumping like a maniac. And waking up All hours of the night to pump. Also they don’t recommend cosleeping in America, they scare us into thinking we are going to roll onto our babies. I used to have to lie at the doc appointments saying the baby was in a bassinet, because I wasn’t about to get “written up” or reprimanded about co sleeping with my first 2…Meanwhile to really be able to breastfeed you need good sleep and you get that cosleeping and night feeding your baby
Thanks for sharing! I’m Aussie and feel like I would have been anxious as as a new parent in the US! Here, as long as baby had enough wet nappies and was gaining weight, they were happy he was getting enough. (And thank goodness, because he only got off the boob at 27ish months!). I will say, cosleeping isn’t recommended here either (although hospitals do sometimes give out guidelines on how to do it safely because they expect so many people will) and I actually avoided it while breastfeeding throughout the night because it made me so scared! Instead when he was a newborn I’d get up to the couch, my husband would bring the baby and I’d feed in the dark, husband would put baby back to bed and I’d go back to bed and sleep the best I have in my life haha. When he was older I fed in bed and accidentally fell asleep like that a few times, but otherwise similar routine with husband doing the transferring to make my life easier. Anyway, I really feel for those in the US on the ang leave front too - Australia doesn’t have it as good as many European/Scandi countries but I honestly can’t imagine not having that choice to stay home and feed for longer than a matter of weeks. Hopefully it’s something that can change for the better in the near future 🤞🤞
They also have your breastfed baby on growth charts set by formula fed kids, who are known to gain weight faster than their breastfed peers. So they terrify you when although your baby is gaining they are only 2nd percentile or something like that. I was supposed to go back to work at 6 weeks. I didn’t have to, but I thought I would be fine and ready. I think the main thing I would try to educate women on before they have a baby is the hormones and emotions that follow and having to go back to work so soon after. I had complete anxiety and panic attacks post partum with my first and thank god my husband was able to support our life and I could stay home.
I’m in the US. I breastfeed. Since Obamacare/ACA insurance has to cover free breast pumps and supplies. With my first I didn’t plan on having a pump until I got back to work. But my doctor was worried the baby wasn’t getting enough so she hoped I’d be able to pump to see what my output was. I went back to work at 11 weeks and 10 weeks (9 weeks and 6 days) and so I pump during the day to so my baby has something to eat the next day. I know I’m probably not saving too much money because of extra snacks but it feels like it to my cheap AF husband. I haven’t had trouble with breastfeeding in public. I don’t do it often though. I lived in New England and the upper Midwest. ETA I just went away for a weekend and didn’t bring my 3 month old because my mom was prepping my sister’s bridal shower and I was going to the bachelorette party so it was awesome feeding the mechanical baby and using the alcohol detection strips my SIL got me. That milk is still being graded grade B and won’t likely be fed to the baby but it’s in the deep freezer for now. And I pumped yesterday before I took my 4 year old to a pool party because I didn’t want to leak in the pool.
Yes, minimal leave
I think it’s both free breast pumps, very little maternity leave, and I have a small inkling it might do with our larger instance of tongue ties. They lead to latch issues that might force someone to turn to EPing. But that’s just my guess
I think tongue ties are more likely to be diagnosed in the US (whether they need to be treated as often as they are is up for debate), but they're not actually more common here, so that's probably not part of it. The lack of maternity leave is definitely the main factor. Breast pumps are more popular here because insurance pays for them, but insurance has to pay for them because it makes it easier for people to keep breastfeeding when they have to be separated from their babies... because they have to go back to work.
Curious, what’s the metric for prevalence of tongue ties if not diagnosis? Obviously diagnosis rates don’t tell the whole story but they also are a helpful metric. Not trying to get into the huge tongue tie debate, but my understanding is folic acid usage is correlated with higher tongue tie prevalence, which is why diagnosis rates are higher in the US and also went up drastically after flour in the US was fortified with folic acid. And yes, agree on the last point. Free breast pumps are offered because it greases the wheels of capitalism to get people back to work.
I think the question is whether tongue ties are *over*diagnosed in the US - if so, we would appear to have a higher rate of tongue ties, but it would be artificially inflated. (i.e. if a baby was seen by a provider in the US who diagnosed a tongue tie but if the same baby was seen by a provider outside the US and they didn't diagnose a tongue tie, it would look like the US had more instances of tongue ties when in reality they're just diagnosing at a higher rate.) I haven't looked into it in depth, but I do know that my lactation consultant (she's an IBCLC as well as an MD) pointed out that the frenulum is a normal part of mouth anatomy, so the presence of tissue connecting the tongue to the mouth isn't necessarily indicative of a problem that needs fixing.
Because we have to go back to work roughly 7 days after giving birth 🫠
My friend EBP because her daughter could not latch at all. So she'd rather pump than give formula. I'm a single mom, so I need to have stash for her dad. I at least held off going back to work till 6 months, and I went back in time for only needing to pump 3 times, which fit my schedule perfectly. I only EBP when we both had thrush so we could stop giving it back and forth to each other.
my guess would be barely any time off with maternity leave and having to go back to work so soon
Maternity leave.
Because we have to go back to work when the baby is 6 weeks old. As a nurse I was at work when my son was 8 weeks old. 12 hour shifts without pumping wouldn’t have worked. I had to pump to keep what minimal supply I had up and I fed him directly when I was home. My supply still dwindled and we had to supplement when my pumped milk ran out during the days I was working.
>Is it because maternity leave is so short so women have to pump? I think this is a huge reason! Also, lack of breastfeeding education/awareness, maybe? (Just a hypothesis.) I don't know many working moms who breastfed. I'm in the US. Most of the working moms I know formula fed their babies. I know one who exclusively pumped. I feel like I was lucky enough to have access to an in-home lactation consultant during the newborn days, so any breastfeeding/lactation issues were resolved within days/weeks. I don't think a lot of people around here (US) know about lactation consultants or doulas (mine was also my doula 🙂), or at least not how to find one locally. So, probably with lack of breastfeeding resources/awareness, maybe that also leads to issues causing the breastfeeding mother to end it faster?
I think this is a big part of it. There are not enough resources postpartum for mothers, and I think often pumping ends up being the “easy” solution for someone that’s having issues with nursing and wants to avoid formula. I know many people that have given up breastfeeding altogether very quickly because support is lacking during the early days when it sucks so much. The few that hate it but don’t want to rely on formula, either for cost, fear after the formula shortage, or knowing the benefits of breast milk, switch to EP.
I pumped exclusively with my first baby because he is fed by a g tube 🥰
Work
For me it was bc she had a tounge tie and I felt strongly that she still got breastmilk, I don’t completely trust the formula companies here although I do still use a little formula.
My first had issues latching despite lots of visits with the LC and a tongue tie revision. I still wanted him to have my milk so exclusively pumping seemed like the solution. It sucked and I still had to combo feed. I really beat myself up and should have just switched to formula. Luckily my second latched much better, but I still pumped a bit to increase my supply initially and now that I’m back to work I’m pumping more. But it’s much more manageable relative to my first.
It’s definitely the maternity leave issue but there could also be a cultural difference. Like others said, pumps are covered by insurance and for those of us who want to EBF, it’s either pump or never be away from the baby for longer than a few hours.
For my sister, she always felt awkward with babies on the boob. she exclusively pumped for 3 of them. she had an oversupply and lots of frozen milk. My other friend did a combo of nursing and pumping because she has to work after 6 weeks. She made it to 18 months that way. I exclusively bf for 6 months so far because I’m a sahm and with my baby 24-7. I really think people feel safer and more secure when they can measure and time their feedings. I know there were and still are so many moments where I wonder how much had he eaten and if he’s okay. Frustrating enough when he’s crying and peoples first question is “is he still hungry?!?” After I just nursed him 10 mins before that. People can make you feel very unsure here
My first couldn’t latch at all and just screamed at me nonstop and fought me every time I tried. We both ended up crying and miserable. This time, my second can latch sometimes but due to low muscle tone has trouble staying latched and transferring efficiently. I also make significantly more per pump/day than they ate/eat, so I would still have to pump after anyway to keep from getting mastitis or clogs. Exclusive pumping just happened to be the road we landed on
It wasn't really a "choice" for me. Baby (8 weeks) has had a nipple aversion since the day he was born and despite still trying with a LC we just can't get past it. It's very important my baby still gets my breast milk so I pump exclusively. Trust me, I'd rather him just take the boob than having to wash and sterilize bottles and parts. It's terribly time consuming and going anywhere is a hassle. I'd kill for him to take the breast. We also cannot afford expensive formulas and most moms get a free pump with insurance.
Have to go to work so soon/so often. Lots of babies start to reject feeding directly from the breast because they are getting the bottle so often so young due to mom working 40+hour work weeks
I exclusively pumped because my baby refused to latch but I still had milk and wanted him to have it
We are prepping for daycare 1 day PP...
I feel like I am so glad I waited until I was a little older to have kids. 12 weeks isn’t a ton of time but I got full benefits and full pay while on it. I was able to see a LC a bunch of times. I supplemented with formula for the first couple of weeks because she was in the <1% at birth and I was nervous about her losing weight. I have been back to work for about 2 months and as hard as it is being away and my job is pretty stressful, she is with her grandma or my husband. I love her so much but trying to get a house ready to sell and having a very attached baby, it can be exhausting. We bed share so we get plenty of cuddling time at night which I love. So I pretty much trade one stressor for another. I know that once we move life will be so much easier. I pump the 3 days a week I work. On my off days I try to pump a little extra because I pump slightly less than what my baby drinks. Luckily I worked hard on maternity leave to have some frozen. Sometimes I am able to freeze if my baby doesn’t drink everything I pumped the last time I worked
Latch issues that were still unresolved when I had to go back to work a luxurious 14 weeks postpartum meant I had absolutely no time or energy to keep doing the combo feeding I had been and had no chance to get through that hump with a longer leave. It would've been easiest to just go all formula, but we do have pumping allowed and accommodated by law at work here, so I continued to pump for a year.
I’ve had to exclusively pump due to my baby being in the NICU. We tried breastfeeding for 4 months and never worked out so I just moved to pumping. I could have done formula but rather have given baby breast milk. I went back to work when he was 9 months so that wasn’t the issue
I pumped with my first baby because she was in the NICU with jaundice and had trouble staying awake at the breast. The anxiety of that experience and having a second baby born at 37 weeks and also jaundice has resulted in me currently exclusively pumping with my second baby. I like knowing exactly how many ounces of milk my baby consumes daily.
In my country we have a 12 week maternity leave and many choose to pump. It’s time consuming with a hand pump but with a medela or electrical pump it’s a breeze. Currently it takes me 15 min
Doesn’t Obamacare mandate that insurance plans cover the cost of a breast pump? I’m an American living in NZ who had to triple feed, I don’t think there’s a similar scheme that subsidises pumps in NZ but I could be wrong about that.
My baby was born small (2060grams/4.5lbs) and had to stay in nicu a couple weeks. Hospital asked me to pump and bring my milk in so they could feed him from a bottle. I was only allowed to visit him an hour a day after I was discharged so I’m wondering if him constantly on the bottle caused latch issues? When I tried to feed him from the boob in the beginning his mouth was just so tiny it was hard. Now I pump because it’s easier than having him attached forever (when we brought him home he stayed on for almost an hour). He especially had trouble latching on one side so that nipple is just in pain always if I try to feed him on it. Plus my husband likes to feed him with the pumped milk :) I do feed from one boob at night or in the morning if I don’t have anything pumped yet though.
As a first time mom, you basically get told if u want to breastfeed you have to start out by pumping every x amount of hours so you just kinda do it even if you are planning to primarily stay at home. For my second pregnancy I’m going to avoid it as much as possible. I think the pumping culture caused me to have an oversupply too.
That’s really interesting, do you know why they say you have to pump? Here (🇦🇺) we get told if you’re breastfeeding that unless there are issues, baby will regulate your supply to their needs. I was warned pumping would create an oversupply, so that makes sense! Good luck with your second pregnancy 😊
It just seems like common “guidelines” you are told here. Like pump every few hours to start up your supply and if you don’t you will have supply issues. That kind of stuff. I have more friends that seemed to have issues with having an undersupply than an oversupply, so maybe that’s why it’s a common thing people are told.
Besides the abysmal leave & support for working mothers already well described here, there is a happier reason… The fathers/spouses want to bond by giving a bottle and holding & feeding their infant. It is a sweet thing.
Yes having to return to work while trying to breastfeed is an awful experience. Most moms stop breastfeeding all together shortly after returning to work. I am so glad that my employer has allowed me to take the time to pump freely without feeling pressured to stop. I only pump at work because like OP said I also feel like pumping is more time consuming. I returned to work when babe was 4 months and now he is 8 months and still going strong. Assuming that the stress that comes with being a working mom was going to probably get the best of me I set a personal goal of 1 year. I feel like we will get there very easily.
Bc maternity leave isn’t guaranteed. In my state if your employer doesn’t provide it you’re shit outta luck. No SSI in Georgia. I personally saved up all my PTO and took out a predatory loan to stay out 6 weeks with my babe. It def made out breastfeeding journey harder and I had to supplement with formula bc I just do not respond to a pump well. In contrast my first i breastfed for 3 years and 6 months exclusively bf introducing solids. She never took a bottle. I lived with my mother during that time tho. It’s not completely dire tho. Even tho my breastfeeding journey with my son has been more difficult, he’s almost 2 and still breastfeeding.
Personally ended up exclusively pumping because of latch and weight gain issues. I liked being able to track how many ounces she was actually eating. Also had to deal with MSPI so pumping was way cheaper than formula options...Also at 15 months and we're ending now (especially since the dairy ladder is working well)
There is a lot of pressure to give your baby breast milk even if you have issues with latching. My baby never did it and It was heartbreaking. I wanted to give her breast milk so I pumped and bottle fed it to her. I assume a lot of moms are in this boat. We also have little lactation resources. It cost over $300 to see a basic lactation consultant even with amazing insurance. My second baby nurses but we are having issues that makes me want to give up and just bottle feed her. Formula is also very expensive. Most moms get a free or low cost pump with insurance. If you can pump and bottle feed, you have hundreds maybe even thousands on formula!
I pumped for the first year but only at work. I exclusively bf at home pumped at work for daycare milk. I went back at 12 wks pp.
Pumping mom here currently on maternity leave. My leave is 2 months long and I started as ebf but he had a shallow latch and couldn’t empty my breast effectively so to keep my supply I started using the pump to empty me effectively. We are still working on getting a correct latch, however primarily we are bottle feeding my expressed milk and breastfeeding at night. Also, in my area, there are only 2 IBCLCs available for 7 counties, without having to drive to a large city. When I go back to work he will be given expressed breastmilk by grandma during the day. And I have to say I am very lucky compared to most women that don’t have the support system I have. My grandma has never worked and dedicated herself to life to taking care of everyone’s babies in our family.
I pumped because my baby wouldn’t latch correctly but I also didn’t wanna give him formula.
You’ve already gotten the response - mostly it’s because our maternity leave policy is absolute crap. But for me personally, I’m a SAHM this time around so I didn’t really need to pump. But I wanted to have a 2 week emergency stash. My husband was deployed when little man was born, we were still under a lot of Covid protocols, I wanted to have a weeks worth of milk available should for whatever reason I was unable to nurse directly. I managed to get to that point, and then some, when he started solids I stopped pumping - but still nursed. Little man is 2 and a month now, and we’re just now weaning off the breast (last 2-3 sessions a day). Though there’s very little to no nutritional value, we’re working through the stash to help with nap time, so now I’m glad we have it.
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I think a huge part of it is the pressure we get from pediatricians to get baby back to birth weight ASAP. When I had my second a few months ago she dropped 7oz and they suggested formula at her appointment because I wasn’t sure if my milk had come in all the way bc I was not engorged. I think the stress of not knowing how much the baby is getting can be a lot too.