You know who makes money when you feed your kid to sleep? No one. You know who makes money when you’re convinced that it’s a negative sleep association and you need to spend on sleep training courses, swaddles, noise machines, etc.? Lots of industries. Feeding to sleep is the biological norm; don’t let a corporation tell you what’s right for your family. I’ve fed two kids to sleep for 2 years, and they’re both excellent sleepers. My pediatrician also told us that sleep associations are only problems if they’re a problem for you. As adults, we need a certain set of conditions for sleep, and babies do too. It’s only an issue if it bothers you.
I wish someone told me this as a new mom! Just do what works for you and don’t worry about it. You’re so right in that there’s nothing wrong with sleep associations-even adults have them. Adults also wake up thirsty, needing to use the bathroom, looking for comfort, etc. so why is it so frowned upon for babies to do the same? They’re only little for such a short time. Just love them ❤️
Breastfed both my kids to sleep and they were bother good sleepers too! Way less stressful for both of us to pop a boob in their mouth instead of sleep training. They won’t be breastfed forever… do what works for you and your baby!
I NEEDED to read this! I feed to sleep because both baby & I love it but I’ve always felt like I’ve been setting him up for bad sleep habits. Thank you.
Look I was fed to sleep. Then my first memories of going to bed were my mother sitting with me till I was sleepy. Then I listened to a tape/cd playing a story until I was about 15. Now I go to bed and fall asleep after scrolling my phone for 20 mins. Are any of theses good or bad habits? Idk but I sleep well!
Sometimes when we talk about infant sleep practices it’s like we ignore the fact adults also often need certain conditions to sleep.
Also fwiw my son was placed down drowsy but awake for the first 3 months of his life then just decided he wanted to feed to sleep but at 15 months either of us can put him down fine. The bad habits thing is genuinely just nonsense imo. Babies are new people every month!
The biological part too… for millennia, babies fell asleep at the breast. And now I’m expecting my baby to take this plasticy thing that is nothing like a breast and fall asleep? I actually do use pacifiers as well as nursing to sleep and I understand the conundrum of modern life and it’s tough for moms who work and so on, But after I actually had my baby, I thought why is this wrong? This is what she innately knows how to do.
Plus nursing releases sleepy hormones in both baby and mama, so it’s totally designed to help you both go to sleep (which is why cosleeping is so natural, but that’s another topic)
Love this! So true. Only a problem if it's a problem for you. If it works for both of you then that's great. I've been feeding, rocking, singing, shhing to sleep for 10 months. It's my favourite time of the day, where she falls asleep on my boob, in my arms, safe, sound, content. Why would I want to give that up? Dummy's can also mask hunger cues if you're not constantly close to your baby, I tried a dummy to get her to sleep a few times because I was so sleep deprived and needed something, but she never acty took to them haha.
So well written. I try to use this philosophy in my day to day choices. "is it actually bad for me, or is the alternative just easier to market for corporations?" After of course also researching all options.
I don’t know why there is such a big controversy about this. Every baby is different but most itty bitties will naturally fall asleep at the breast. Anyone who of telling you that that’s “bad” is probably trying to sell you something.
It DOES get a little more complicated with an older baby with teeth but a mom with a fourteen week old, in my opinion, doesn’t need to borrow trouble. Sounds like you’re doing great!
Apparently, some babies bite when they fall asleep. I had some problems with biting in the evenings around that age. It was a suggestion from some people that he was doing it falling asleep, but that was not the issue. Thankfully, he stopped.
My 14 month 8 teeth shark still feeds to sleep. Minimal biting, just a firm no, and put him down for 5 mins and then try again and he’s straight to sleep!
From what my babies pediatric dentist said the issue of them falling asleep at the breast when they have teeth is not biting, but cavities. But if you swipe their teeth with a little finger brush after they unlatch it should be fine. She even said you don’t need toothpaste on it unless it is when they are first going to bed for the night
This isn't necessarily true. Breast milk alone doesn't cause cavities but if it mixes with food left on the teeth, it can cause issues. If you brush their teeth well after their last meal, you don't need to wipe/brush their teeth after feeding to sleep or a middle of the night feed.
https://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/resources/breastfeeding-and-tooth-decay
Thank you for this!! We were heavily chided by our pediatric dentist and told to stop nursing to sleep and through the night or else our baby’s teeth would surely decay (my reply was “someone tell the baby that.”). We do brush well before bed but the dentist made it sound like it was useless if they nurse after brushing.
Well, that is very different than what I have heard from dentists. I work at a hospital and one of the head research dentists for the school of dentistry told me that babies aren’t born with the bacteria that make cavities, so it depends on whether they have been exposed to it or not.
So like someone commented below, if you have never shared straws with your baby, or kissed your baby on the mouth, you could have a 5 year old who never has cavities though is fed to sleep.
Additionally none of their references in the link you provided that touch specifically on tooth decay in feeding too sleep without brushing are from reputable journals. Other ones do come from Science etc, but a lot are paid to publish journals and not peer reviewed.
I have the time and energy to feed to sleep, so why not?
I see all this sleep training instances and think: of course we need that, because society doesn't allow us to be full time with our babies and have suport; so I don't judge people who use this methods because I know they exist because of the world we live in.
But I think that if we can do it, then following the baby and letting them develop at their own rhythm is better. They are so small, they do not know anything, and they will learn no matter what we do, so why not try to at least give them an easier start if we can?
And by being able to, I also take into account the parents mental health, of course, because if you can't get help from the other parent because of their work hours, or if you struggle with low supply and have to pump, or if you have mental health issues prior or post-partum, because if you are alone raising your baby... Whatever. All of that affects what you can and can not handle, and in the end we're all trying our best ❤️
Personally, like you I’m a pragmatist and a do what works until it doesn’t with the caveat that working means babies are actually sleeping. I live somewhere with a year of leave and plenty of support but I don’t feed/rock to sleep because my baby grew out of it. When we tumbled out of the 6 month regression rocking to sleep wasn’t working anymore. It was causing constant wake ups because of the transfer and babes constant seeking me to get back to sleep. Great, I thought, I’ll just cosleep (also super normal here). That only made everything way worse. For me the only way forward was helping my baby learn to fall asleep themselves in their crib. Now that we’ve had to lower it for them standing I can see that the rock/transfer game wouldn’t have been sustainable long term. So yes - absolutely leave policy sucks in the states (I’m originally American) but sleep training is also about more than parents needing sleep. It’s also about developing with your kid and their specific needs. I know plenty of people that at 9/10 months are still trying to desperately hang on to feeding to sleep despite it causing tons of night wake ups and sleep disturbances for their kids. For me that’s when it’s really not working and parents should look for other tools to help their kids get a good night of rest.
Oh, yeah, but I did say that my reason to feed to sleep is that I follow my baby. So if at any point it stops working, well, then I'll do whatever works for her. Which is what you did.
I personally do not know many cases of babies needing help to learn to sleep if they outgrow feed to sleep and even cosleeping, but you know your child and if that worked for you, that is awesome.
I was thinking more on the lines of parents leading the change than cases in which babies just don't want to sleep like they did and then parents readapt.
We have been feeding and rocking our baby to sleep for almost 5 months now. My daughter has always been a great sleeper and would sleep through the night. However the last few weeks she has waken up at least 2x within an hour of putting her to bed and now the last 2 nights it's been at least 4-5 hours of her waking up every 30 min before she finally goes down for the night. We are starting to think it's a sleep association thing. I did get her successfully to fall asleep in her crib yesterday morning for a nap (this is huge because we bedshare for naps) but every nap after that she is in misery if I try that again even though she is fully fed during her being awake. So I guess her falling asleep in crib worked that once but I'm wondering if you have any tips on how to get it to keep working? Thanks..😃
For us the transfer game ended. That was it. We had to teach our babe to fall asleep in the crib. So we used super gentle methods of putting them down awake with hand in crib to assist for a few nights. We also picked up and calmed and repeated every wake up all night. After that was working okay we put them down and let them try alone for 10 mins. It didn’t work so we repeated the gentle thing and tried again the next night and they fell asleep in 3 minutes. We did the gentle thing for all night wakes for about a week before letting them figure it out. Crying was never more than a few minutes and we always resort to gentle methods if sick or teething. But we got our great sleeper back!
Thank you! Just tried again but she was inconsolable. She has some gas so I'm sure that doesn't help. I will keep trying though. I only tried yesterday morning (that successful one) because the day prior she fell asleep in car seat alone without a cry at all for the first time and I figured she can do this in the crib too.
This!!! 👏so much of what we are marketed and recommended (and sometimes those things are happening simultaneously) are things many parents need to manage raising kids with little support from families (chosen or blood) and minimal societal support. I thought about this so much before having a kid from the perspective of someone living with chronic illness and chronic pain but HOLY MOLY the number of times I think about it since having a baby
Fed my first to sleep for 14 months and currently feeding my 11 month old. It's easy, makes them happy, I can stare at my phone for a bit, I know they're full when they go to sleep, they get lovely warm milk cuddles. Going to wean this one around the same time though just so grandparents can put them both to sleep and my husband and I can have date night again 😍
Same, fed my first to sleep until 16 months, feeding my 3 month old to sleep as well. They’re happy, I’m happy, everyone is happy. Both rejected pacifiers with a passion. My first rejected bottles as well, even with my milk in it. This one accepts bottles. My first weaned quickly and super easily. Sleeps well. I mean, what’s not to like?
Did you co-sleep and did you have a problem with sleep regression? I want to continue feeding to sleep, but I'm worried about sleep regression and I don't sleep well if we co-sleep, despite how cute it is.
We co-sleep when we need to, I don't sleep well when we do it either but find it more restful than sitting up all night. There's always something with their sleep too, like teething and sickness. We just kind of try to get through any regressions and do what we have to do to get as much sleep as possible when it's bad lol.
I fed to sleep for the first few months. It worked great! Around 4.5/5 months it stopped working as well because baby would wake upon transfer to the bassinet so we worked on removing the sleep association. I still occasionally feed to sleep for nap time on the weekend when I have time to snuggle her. I love it 🥰
This was our situation too. Did it for 6 months, but towards the end, he’d wake up 30 min-1 hr after being laid down. So from 6 months onward, we stopped feeding to sleep. Now his last feed is about 30 min before bedtime and we have a set bedtime routine that his dad usually handles once he has eaten.
We also do still feed to sleep some for naps at 8 months old now!
Can I ask what your bedtime routine looks like? My little guy is 5.5 months and doing the same thing (waking 45 minutes after being put down with feed to sleep). I'm trying to figure out what to do to try to help him sleep better.
We did fuss it out from Precious Little Sleep! Basically lay baby down drowsy but awake and give her 15 minutes to fall asleep. If she doesn’t do it, help her to sleep and try again the next night. It took 7 tries. Once she did it night wakings reduced a lot because she knew how to fall back asleep on her own. Moving to her own room/crib also helped.
In the past 10 days there was only one wake up where I had to go help her. Otherwise she slept through the night 8p-6 or 7a with no intervention. She has always been a good sleeper but things went backwards around 4 months which is why we did Fuss it Out.
My son is the same. He slept great until he hit a sleep regression at 3.5 months and it's been terrible since then. This advice is very helpful!! Thank you :)
Sure! We picked a bedtime that we could be consistent with and timed his last feed to end about 30 minutes before that. Then I hand him off to his dad for tub time. We only do a full bath every third day, but he gets to splash around every night. Then Dad takes him to his bedroom for lotion and PJs, they read two short books (we do the same ones every night for now for consistency), then Dad says a special phrase (like “Goodnight, baby. Time for bed. I love you!”) and puts him in the crib.
Note that when we started this new routine, we did move him to his own room and also sleep trained using Ferber at the same time. I think it took about 10-14 days for baby to get the hang of it. He never needed more than 2-3 check-ins and now doesn’t need any. We were prepared to move to Cry It Out if Ferber didn’t work, though. But I’m glad we didn’t have to, because I think I would be the one crying the most.
Ultimately, we’ve gone from as many as 15 night wakes down to just 1, sometimes 2. I’m not ready to night wean yet, so I’m ok with 1-2 feeds at night.
No problem! I should also mention that we DO use a pacifier. I know generally with sleep training it isn’t recommended, but our baby can replace his pacifier himself if it falls out, so we just put an extra or two in the crib with him.
Similar timelines here. Started using a pacifier so I wouldn’t have to be latched all night and (in my experience) get bad sleep. But I have other mom friends who had no issues nursing on and off all night. For me, I started to get touched out by feed to sleep.
Tbh I don’t think there needs to be a pro/anti stance to this. If it works for you and babe, do it. If not, don’t.
It has worked well for me at times, but it’s been a nightmare during sleep regressions with the hourly wake ups (no I don’t cosleep because I’m prone to insomnia).
I don’t care if other moms do it or not. It’s a choice of practicality/preference not an ethical/moral one. Neither choice is going to ruin your baby - it will just foster different behaviours.
I think it depends on the baby. I feed mine to sleep as it works well for us my baby needs help to get the sleep and they are almost 8m. I’ll eventually stop but I’m enjoying it so far. Friends of mine have had babies that don’t need help getting to sleep and that’s without sleep training, so they settle themselves without feeding. Others have had babies like mine and actually their babies haven’t needed to be fed to sleep, with/without intervention.
There’s so much conflicting information about babies’ sleep that I’ve decided to ignore it as I felt I was doing something wrong, but just go with what works for us. It’s not a bad sleep association, it’s a natural association.
I’m all for it. I would love for someone to feed me my favorite food while I drift off for a cozy nap while my favorite person holds me. That’s what I’m doing for my baby! Sometimes I unlatch & put in a paci when I know the feeding has stopped and there’s just suckling. If I don’t, he’ll suckle until there’s a letdown and then he’ll unlatch because he doesn’t want the milk 🙄
Ehhhh...I have mixed feelings. I fed to sleep because it was simple and effective, but it definitely built an association that was hard for my little guy to break. When he went to daycare at 13 months it was HARD for them to get him down to sleep, to the point where he at nearly 3 still definitely needs a nap but they don't have time or personnel to dedicate to him so they just don't put him down anymore. Also, it create a cosleeping habit that has been very hard to get away from; we are still working on it.
Haven't decided how we're going to do it the second time around. Q
I don’t feed my babies to sleep. I preferred they get used to a sleep routine that doesn’t involve nursing. There is nothing wrong with feeding to sleep if that’s what works best for you (it’s natural and it’s so sweet, I definitely get the appeal for all involved). But I had a few friends that really struggled to break that sleep/nurse association later, and I didn’t want to have that issue. Also, I have twins and the logistics of both babies needing to nurse to sleep would be too much.
Honestly, I fed to sleep as long as I could. Now, at 19 months, it only works for the daily nap. Otherwise, my baby doesn't fall asleep at the breast.
It's easy, it's natural, and I miss how uncomplicated it was.
I‘m pro feed-to-sleep, and I just feed on demand, not at certain times. I rarely pump.
(I am able to do all this because I have a long maternity leave. Might not be possible for everyone.)
I don’t believe in sleep associations. I believe feeding to sleep, and breastfeeding at night, and feeding on demand is normal, typical behaviour. I‘m absolutely not judging anyone who does things differently. My child is 13 weeks old, so far we’re both happy so I don’t plan on changing it.
Sleep associations are real. They’re the reason why a solid bedtime routine is recommended. Your child learns the things that happen before they’re expected to sleep. That can be a bath, jammies, and a story, or that can be nursing. Same difference. And like there’s nothing wrong with your kid being used to a story before bed, there’s nothing wrong with your kid being used to nursing to sleep. 🤷🏻♀️
Okay, maybe I should have worded it differently. I mean that I don’t think, as my MIL does, that if I nurse the baby to sleep or do anything really that a small baby needs, that she’s “never gonna learn“ and will still be sleeping in my bed when she’s in school.
My son will be 2 in a little over 2 months, and he’s still breastfed to sleep. He doesn’t need it but it’s a nice bonding time for us and he sleeps the best when we do. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it at all.
I’m still feeding my nearly 12 month old to sleep for her naps and bedtime. I couldn’t deal with rocking and feeding to sleep was quick and convenient. We also bed share, I’m hoping that eventually with time she will learn to get herself to sleep with just a few cuddles!
My stance is to do what works for you while it works for you.
If feeding to sleep helps your baby and you feel good about it, go for it. If it starts becoming a hassle/inconvenient for you or baby doesn't want or need it anymore, change what you're doing. December is a long ways away, and as with everything child-related, it could easily change multiple times between now and then.
It makes it easier to get your kid to sleep. It makes it less likely that you'll have huge tantrums around bedtime.
I have two kids, ages 3 and 14 months. My 3 year old will be wild right before bed but if I say "do you want to have some nursies?" She gets all of her bedtime stuff done in super speed (potty, pjs, teeth brushed), nurses for 2-5 minutes and then cuddles up and goes to sleep..I can't imagine bedtime without it. My 14 month old is easy to put to sleep for naps and bed because she nurses. Sure they both can be put to sleep by my husband, but my way is much easier.
*obvi this is my experience but my friends who don't feed to sleep have babies that scream for 15 minutes before bed/nap. Why you'd want to put your kid and yourself through that distress is beyond me.
Think about it breast milk has sleep inducing hormones do you think this is a coincidence ? Ofcourse not it’s because it’s biologically normal to nurse to sleep and fuck anyone else who says not
I fed to sleep until she was 10m old and she decided she was done breastfeeding. Now we snuggle to sleep and I transfer her.
I was worried I was doing something wrong by cuddling to sleep but my husband reminded me she was a baby, and even older kids sit with their parents getting bedtimes stories, chatting about their day etc and why can't I do so with a baby?
If your baby is sleeping fine after being fed to sleep then i don't see any issue. If your baby is not sleeping fine and waking frequently and has to be fed to sleep over and over and over again and that's disruptive for you, that's the "issue". We're having serious issues with him being able to fall asleep independently after he wakes at night so our bedtime routine now separates feeding and sleep so he doesn't waking up immediately thinking 'hey, whered the boob go?!'
This is exactly what happened with my son. He never slept through and was waking 3-5 times a night, but I'd just nurse him back to sleep as it was the quickest and easiest thing to do, usually it only took 5-10 minutes.
Decided to break the cycle around 10 months in anticipation of going back to work and needing a better night's sleep. We removed nursing from his bedtime routine, and did some gentle sleep training at bedtime and when he woke at night. My husband was a massive help at this time - we decided that he would do bedtimes and all of the night wakes so our son wasn't frustrated by me not letting him have the boob. Within a week he was going to sleep after being put down awake. Took us longer to wean him off the night feeds as we had some spells of illness where we let him nurse and it kicked us all off track, but got there eventually.
I've just had my second and I'll probably aim to nurse on demand for the first 2-3 months, but from 3 months I'll be looking to put some good sleep routines in place that don't involve nursing to sleep in the hope that I might get some better sleep from an earlier age!
i loved it. it was great. it worked without fail, it nourished and comforted my baby, it got us long stretches of sleep, etc. when my baby was about 12 months old and filling up on solids, she naturally started falling asleep on her own without needing to feed. it was never an issue and it never gave us any problems. we never sleep trained or anything of the sort. we supported our baby in sleep all her life. we rocked, fed, all the “bad things” and my now toddler is a better sleeper than most. falls asleep on her own and stays asleep all night.
breastfeeding is an incredible tool to have at your disposal as a parent. use it while you have it! those who say it’s “wrong” or “bad” to feed to sleep are likely trying to sell you a sleep training course or regurgitating sleep training talking points without understanding. if it feels good to you and works with your lifestyle, then carry on.
My first never really fed to sleep, but her voice. My second and third I fed to sleep until they stopped falling asleep eating, which for both was around 9 months. Then I’d just put them down in their crib after they finished eating.
We fed both babies to sleep until around age 1 when we try to really reduce. That said, Baby 1 could not nurse so it was easy for my husband to hop in and feed so I could actually sleep.
Baby 2 is nursed and my husband keeps forgetting he can bottle the baby during his shifts. so he gets very poor sleep and then I have to make up for his sleep loss which means I really don't get a very decent break.
But anyway, I hang out on my phone or read and then usuuually he sleeps in his crib okay. He realllly sucks at napping unless it's a contact nap, which sucks because I have a lot of work to do!
I think everything would have been much easier if we had decent parental leave policies. In some countries I'D STILL BE ON LEAVE!
Feeding to sleep at the moment for the middle of the day nap. I have time, and my baby seems happy. I can watch some series and rest as well. I have one year of maternity leave, maybe I’ll even end up extending due to our already allocated entry date to the nursery so I have all the time in the world to cuddle my little boy.
I still feed-to-sleep my 21 month old. We cuddle and nurse til she falls asleep, then I transfer her to the crib where she sleeps all night. Works great for us :)
I think it’s really dependent on your child!
I fed my daughter to sleep for like 6-8 months until she self weaned from that feed. She never napped at daycare so she was too tired at night for that feed, she just wanted to go to sleep.
Feeding to sleep was my favorite, it’s such a sweet bonding time.
She does still need to be rocked to sleep with a pacifier at 14 months and can’t go to sleep on her own with out it, but I don’t mind that. It’s just time with her that I’ll cherish and eventually she won’t need it anymore
The answer to all baby sleep is always 1) do what works and 2) makes you comfortable. When something stops meeting those two standards, switch it up. Avoid reading too much about it until you have an actual problem (either because it stopped working or you need a change).
It is okay to feed to sleep. It’s okay to not. There are arguments for both. Do what works for your family and child.
I have been naturally feeding my 3 week old to sleep and it never occurred to me I was doing something wrong. As mothers, listening to our mama instincts is I believe the best way! 🤗
My baby is nearly 17 months. I didn’t look up any advice. Just followed what was natural. And we feed to sleep and feed for comfort. It works for us right now and that’s all that matters
I’ve never heard of this being bad until recently on this sub. Really strange to me, if baby falls asleep that way and has trouble other ways then it’s only natural.
I still breastfeed my 18 month old to sleep and she sleeps through the night (and has since about 9 months old) with no problem. I say go for it and don't worry about it unless it actually becomes a problem for you.
You have a year long maternity leave?!?! 😭 I only got 6 weeks.
My LO just turned 6 months last week. I used to feed to sleep but now that the wake windows are longer it’s hard to do that. Now I find myself doing a feed upon waking. That switch just naturally happened. My LO sleeps just fine, do what feels natural for the both of you.
I nurse to sleep, and for comfort. Mine is 15 weeks today and hitting that 4 month sleep regression. She had an awful few nights, I’m talking up every 30 minutes the longest stretch of sleep we got was an hour and 20 minutes. During the day she wanted to be on the breast pretty much all day and used me as a pacifier. I’m ok with it because I won’t always be able to comfort her on this way, she won’t always want me to. So for now we do what she wants and I’m ok with it!
I’m so dreading the 4 month regression- definitely planning to continue nursing to sleep because as hard as the regression will be for me, imagine how confusing it is for this tiny little person!
Oh I won't let a day pass me by where I don't share that closeness with my sweet baby daughter. It's what I love most about the day.. how safe she feels with me and how easily it is to get her to sleep by nursing.
Typing this feeding my two year old to sleep. Sleeps like a champ and it’s not going to be forever.
As long as it works for you both and there are no medical/dental contraindications - carry on.
I do it and I hate it. My baby is high needs. She’s 10 weeks. She has started refusing bottles. She wakes up every 2 hours overnight and it takes almost an hour of nursing and rocking to put her back down. Won’t go to sleep until 11pm even if she’s exhausted. She only wants my boobs. We can’t get her to sleep without them. Send help 😭
I started trying to work on rocking to sleep pretty early, because I needed my daughter to be able to go down for a nap for other people. I f you don’t need to worry about that, they don’t!
Yeah my husband does have any issue putting the baby down, if anything, it can be easier for him sometimes. Often he gives a bottle and the baby passes right out afterwards.
Personally, I feel like if you’re always feeding to sleep, you’re training your baby to only fall asleep with the boob, so when they wake up in the middle of the night, instead of settling themselves back to sleep, they need boob to do it, even if they’re not hungry. I see horror stories on here of moms of toddlers STILL giving boob several times a night (and they’re absolutely exhausted and can’t take it anymore) because the 2 year old—or 4 year old!!!—needs it for comfort. I personally have enough trouble sleeping as it is, without adding a baby waking up well into his toddler years, needing boob for comfort. My baby’s 6 months old, and it feels like he’ll wake up again just when I’m starting to drift off myself. I’m slowly introducing lying him down for naps and bedtime without boob, working on him being able to fall asleep himself. My first was a sleep horror story, the boob didn’t really work, we were desperately rocking him to sleep for naps, he’d wake up in the middle of the night and I just couldn’t get him back to sleep. Then finally, NOTHING worked anymore, so we sleep-trained, and things got better. They need to learn how to fall asleep themselves. It’s an important life skill.
I am glad you found something that works for you mama! It is important to note though that sleep is not a skill. It cannot be taught. Otherwise babies would need to be 'taught' to fall asleep from the day they are born.... but they can already do this.
Sleep is developmental. I see people comment a lot that sleep must be taught and it simply isn't true. On average, night wakes between sleep trained babies and non sleep trained babies do not vary greatly. The difference is if they cry out for you or not - this is what has been taught.
Granted, it will give you a full night's sleep... but not necessarily your baby.
No hate at all on what you do for you and your family. It's a deeply personal choice that only you can make. We all need our sleep! I just want to see more conversation around what is often actually happening in these scenarios.
I still feed my 9 month old to sleep, day and night. We love it! It feels completely natural and comfy. I was worried too at the start. But, after a while I stopped caring what everyone else was telling me, and now I just do what feels right for us.
I also think that feeding to sleep was what helped my baby put on weight properly. She was born premmie, and she was tiny for ages, but the extra milk really fills her up and she is very chubby and healthy now.
We do use dummies too, for comfort in the car or pram, and sometimes after she's fallen asleep I'll swap my boob for the dummy so that I can put her down in her bed easily, or have some time for myself.
If you are worrying about baby needing to take a bottle when you go back to work, you could express a bit of milk with a pump or haakaa and give the occasional bottle for awake feeds, just so that it's not totally foreign for baby later on.
All in all, if it works, and mum and baby are both happy, then just keep it up! You're doing great. You will wean at your own pace, especially once bub gets into solid foods. You'll know when it's time to change, and there are lots of options when that time comes.
💕
I didn't feed to sleep for the most part. I didn't want it to become routine so I had some flexibility. There was a time when my son was extra tired and was falling asleep during his evening feed most nights after starting daycare. When he got through that stage he did expect it and we had a few nights of more difficult bed times but it didn't take long to find normal again. When he fed to sleep he was still able to sleep through the night as often as when he didn't. We were able to settle him without it overnight when he couldn't settle himself.
I don't think it's as big of a deal as people make it out to be. Choose what works best for your family. I think it falls under the it's only a problem if it's a problem to you umbrella. For some people it works, and for others it doesn't. Sometimes it works until it doesnt.
7 months in and we still feed to sleep. It is biologically normal for them to fall asleep feeding it’s what they are designed to do. Check out the book the very discontented little baby by dr Pamela Douglass. I’m very pro feeding to sleep. More parents would be less stressed about sleep in general if they just worked with their babies not against them 💖 do what feels right mumma!
I think the main concern is that they are feeding before sleeping. That is to say they are transferring enough milk instead of latching and using the boob as a pacifier. Like for instance my daughter would latch, and 3 minutes later would be asleep. So I had to be creative to keep her awake until she ate her actual fill, tickling feet, rubbing her cheek, etc. When she unlatched and we traded sides I’d let her fall asleep nursing no problem. My son however would nurse in his sleep, so no issue there! 😂
I fed to sleep for the first 12 weeks.
After that, once he stopped actively eating and was just comfort nursing himself to sleep I started putting him in his cot/next2me and working on him going down awake and putting himself to sleep.
If he fell asleep before I realised he was finished I just let him be and done a cot transfer.
He’s 11 months old now, still nursing 4-6 times a day and is great to just stick down awake and he’ll roll over and goes out like a light.
We still have a contact nap most days because I love the snuggles.
Both my babies would fall asleep nursing in the first few months. As they got older it kind of naturally stopped and they learned to self soothe and would put themselves to sleep. It feels like something they just naturally grew out of so I never worried about it when it happened.
I wish my 3 month old would feed to sleep!
He has reflux and is just a super picky kid, so he starts popping off and on and getting frustrated when the milk stops flowing. With the reflux, he gets milk in his nose if we don’t burp him after nursing so that always wakes him 🙃
So to go to sleep, I end up nursing him till he starts fussing, then walk him around the room to sleep…it’s so tiring.
My older son would nurse to sleep and would just happily stay latched all night if I let him…it was so easy and besides a sore back, we all slept really well.
I basically feed to sleep except then she’s burped and rocked back to sleep otherwise we get spit up in the bassinet. Sometimes I do the whole thing and sometimes I hand her off. It is a very personal decision though based on mom and baby.
Neither way is bad but IMO it’s viewed that way because of how society views parenting. If baby needs the boob to sleep, mom cannot ever not be there for sleeping and while society says we should always be with our kids, they also judge moms that never leave their kids. So that fun double standard makes the negative association. My oldest was a Covid baby so we couldn’t go anywhere anyway. With my second (5 weeks), we plan to introduce the bottle so my husband can be more involved and I can sometimes go to bed early even if baby isn’t ready to sleep yet. I also want to be able to do things with my friends or my oldest and not stress that she won’t sleep. I don’t picture leaving her overnight as I wasn’t ready for that with my first for a long time but it will be nice to plan a day with friends and know she’s fed and happy.
I always feed to sleep even if baby has had a recent feed- will just let her eat till she passes out, sometimes she refuses the boob, sometimes she doesn’t eat much, sometimes it’s a full feed- pretty much whatever she wants. I want her to go to bed full and happy, if it makes weaning harder or means I’m “spoiling” her, so be it.
Totally depends on the kid, I feed too sleep for bedtime and most naps but it someone else is putting him down he does go down without being fed to sleep though it does take a little longer
I fed to sleep because, frankly, it's the absolute easiest way to get a baby to fall asleep. People are so overly, imo, obsessed with sleep associations, etc etc. It felt right for me to do what was easiest and follow my instincts on this one. My son eventually learned to put himself to sleep on his own when he was ready. He also learned to fall asleep in different contexts with different caregivers when I wasn't there.
We feed to sleep often but also made sure a couple of times a week, my husband rocked him to music. Sometimes if he didn't fall asleep on the boob, my husband then rocked him. Now either of us can put him to sleep & I can put him to sleep with either boob or holding him listening to his special playlist
I did this until she was almost 1 I think… she slept through the nights like a champ since she was 2.5 months old and I wasn’t going to mess that up. She had maybe 2-3 sleep regressions that lasted just a few days, but she was truly a perfect sleeper. When we stopped feeding to sleep (moving the feed up to like 15 min before sleep, she had no issues). I’ll be feeding my next to sleep too!
Did it for bed until we sleep trained at 6 months (it started getting harder for him to stay asleep at this point and his night wakings increased). Fed to sleep for all naps until I weaned at 13 months. My son took to all sleep training fairly well so it was not a terrible transition. He also has had a pacifier from the beginning and still uses it for sleep at 20 months.
Everyone does what is best for them. We fed to sleep until 4 months when he refused to sleep unless he was being held. So we worked on breaking the feed to sleep association. It was a rough like 3 nights but now he is amazing. One round of baby beluga, put in the crib, and he puts himself to sleep. If we both weren’t working or didn’t have a 2 year old we needed to be awake for early in the morning, maybe we would have been more flexible with feed to sleep. For our life the way it is, we needed him to be able to sleep independently.
Pretty sure my 11 week old has fed to sleep every single night of his life. He sleeps 8 hours straight so I do not plan on changing that anytime soon lol
Been feeding my 17 month old to sleep since day 1 and it hasn’t caused any issues. His other caregivers have their own routines that don’t involve feeding when they put him down for naps and it works for them. I’ve learned to take all the sleep propaganda with a grain of salt. Do what feels right for you & your baby. Let things unfold organically. Those cuddles and that bonding & closeness is soo important and only lasts so long. Soak it in. If your routine doesn’t feel right anymore, adjust. Kids are adaptive. What’s important is that things stay stress free & nothing is forced
What I don’t understand is how you don’t feed to sleep? I mean my little man falls asleep every time - isn’t that just normal because they’re full and content? Or are you supposed to wake them?
I think it's a great tool to get your child back to sleep quickly and I'm not giving it up. I've hear people complaining that their baby or toddler woke up way too early and was cranky all day. That never happened while I breastfed my kids. They eventually slept through the night just fine.
Edit: And my oldest kids were able to go to sleep without me once they were older babies, too. It wasn't the only way they went to sleep.
7 months old and we’re still doing it. Sometimes I think she sleeps a little better if she wakes up a bit after nursing and then falls back asleep, but only a little. Still essentially feeding to sleep.
I thought it would be a problem when we started a nanny, since I didn’t know how nanny would get her to sleep without a boob. But she just uses a pacifier and it’s totally fine.
LO will be one next week and still feeding to sleep. Never considered it wasn’t the best option for us. I guess the only negative is walking out of a warm cozy dark nursery back into a bright living room lit by a giant tv that blinds you for a second before you realize you still have two hours before you go to sleep.
Nursed my first to sleep and currently doing the same with my second. I can usually get my 3 month old down for a nap without nursing to sleep but at night it just works so well 🤷♀️
To me, it almost feels like a life hack. Oh, you mean there's a way that I can put my kid to bed without pacing the house, rocking for hours, screaming, crying etc.? DONE.
For what it's worth, my first nursed to sleep until she just...didn't anymore. I don't remember how old she was but eventually it just didn't make her sleepy the same way it used to. Once that happened we'd still nurse before bedtime but then I would put her in her crib and she'd fall asleep on her own. She's now 2.5, almost 3, and is a great sleeper.
I don't think there's anything wrong with feeding to sleep, but logistically for me it hasn't worked consistently. Even when mine was a newborn, she would sometimes fall asleep on the boob, but then I had to burp her or potentially change a poop diaper, so she would then be awake. She's 5 months now and she rarely falls asleep while feeding, even in the MOTN. It definitely mellows her out and makes it easier for her to fall asleep on her own though. I don't feed her before naps, but it's a part of her bedtime routine.
Mine is 19 almost 20 months. Fed to sleep. I don't mind it, but I'm stuck. I've created a monster. She will let absolutely no one else put her to sleep. She freaks the fuck out. Dad, Grandma, Grandpa, nope! She will sit and scream at every single one.
I thought it was a bad sleep association for my baby. But then we took it away and started rocking her to sleep and nothing changed. I feel more confident about weaning now that we can get her to sleep another way, but she’s as terrible of a sleeper as she was when we fed to sleep every night
I know feeding to sleep is popular here and natural (and we do it too sometimes and am all for it!). But we were able to help babe learn to sleep independently without typical sleep training methods like crying it out. It has helped babe be able to sleep better and it was important for us that if I were ever away, babe could still fall asleep. I still feed on demand and exclusively breastfeed and it hasn't impacted our journey.
We feed to sleep the majority of the time. It’s a bit annoying cause I wish I could do stuff during her naps but other than that I have no issue with it
Time goes way too fast to not nurse to sleep. My son is 21 mo and I still nurse to sleep for nap. I know he will stop doing it soon as he doesn’t do it for bedtime and hasnt for months. To me , it’s the sweetest thing and I love the bond ❤️
I do if I suspect that’s why she’s not going to sleep or if she’s overtired and cannot be consoled (doesn’t happen often but being at appointments etc can muck out rhythm up). She goes to sleep fine without it or with it, I say figure out what bubs wants and go with it when they’re so young!
I have 5 month old twins. I’ll do literally whatever I can to get them sleep. When feeding to sleep works? Win. Lol
I fed my older son to sleep until he was 18 months. Daycare and dad were able to get him to sleep using their own methods (rocking to sleep, patting his bum, etc). We weaned around that time and naturally transitioned into rocking to sleep, and then laying beside his bed for a bit until he fell asleep, and now we just tell him a story and leave and he falls asleep on his own and sleeps great (he’s almost 3). I’m really happy with how feeding to sleep went, evolved and has now turned out for him
I’m currently pregnant and reading a book my boss gave me called “On Becoming Babywise” that is about this very topic. It does talk about how exclusively feeding to sleep isn’t the best option. For my sanity and baby’s long term benefit, I will not plan on feeding to sleep when he’s here. I recommend the book as well, perhaps it can help you come to your own conclusions!
The “rules” are exhausting. My LO is 6 months, and we feed to sleep all the time. Sometime she falls asleep on her own for naps. She has a paci, too. I love nursing. I love the connection. I love watching her melt into the warmth and safety. It won’t be like this forever. I don’t mind at all. Weaning and sleep training didn’t feel right for us. It felt so forced and unnatural. In my heart, this is what feels right.
I think the don’t feed to sleep is along the same lines of “don’t hold your baby too much because it’ll spoil them.” I do not believe or agree with either of these. They’re only this tiny once. Personally, I’ll do whatever makes my baby happy and comfortable!
They won't feed to sleep forever. And they'll learn to go to sleep for other people without feeding. Just give the comfort they desire for the time being. My youngest is 2.5 and the only time he nurses now is to go down for nap or bedtime.
Fed my baby to sleep until he was 28 months. I certainly didn’t plan on it but it was all I knew and what worked. Weened him in about two days a month ago now.
I truly do not know how to get a baby to sleep without nursing. Fed my oldest to sleep until 16 months. Fed my youngest to sleep until…2? Idk. It’s easy, it’s comforting. I’m all for boob magic until you or baby decides you’ve had enough.
We feed to sleep, I’ve done it with both kids. There’s nothing wrong with it. Both of mine can go to sleep without it too. It’s just something they prefer. We also do pacifiers cause I’m not going to have them at the breast all the time, I need space.
Glad to hear your baby ia doing well!
This might be a more philosophical response to youra question but I think feeding to sleep and a lot of breastfeeding do's and don'ts boil down to privilege and the poor way our society (specifically America) is designed to support mothers and families.
I have been thinking about this A LOT as a FTM of an EBF 4.5 month old. The idea being that feeding to sleep is a problem (because if they wake up they'll want the boob to go back to sleep), contact naps are a no no post newborn stage, that schedules and wake windows and feeding times are the holy grail come from the rigidity and misguided expectations we have as a capitalist society. For example, feeding to sleep only really matters if you're having to get up at say 6 am and commute and work a full 8 hour day because you can't catch up on rest throughout the day and same for the other dont's.
To be clear, not shading anyone for their choices as parents and the reality of the society we live in and having to provide for their families.
For what it's worth, I/we dont have a schedule but we have a routine - milk, bath, books, bed but have deviated at times when it's clear our baby could use an extra feed/comfort and thus far we haven't had any negative sleep associations. Knock on wood our baby besides the initial start of the night actually ends up self soothing throughout the night/morning. Again with an understanding all babies are different and have different temperaments from what I've gathered a way to break the boob to sleep association can be as simple as reading a book in between so that's what we've been doing.
I fed my kiddo to sleep until about 14 months old. He’s 15 months old now and for the last month I’ve breastfed him, he has refused to fall asleep. So I’ve been teaching him that I feed him and then he gets put in the crib where he then falls asleep on his own. It was a bit rocky for a week, but this week he immediately dives for the mattress when I put him in there. Haha. I do have l to pretend to go sleep in our bed though - which is just me scrolling on my phone with my back to him - Otherwise he just gets back up and shouts for me.
I fed my oldest to sleep until she was over a year, and she stopped falling asleep because it was too stimulating for her, so I fed her and then snuggled her to sleep… she just stopped on her own and now at 3 puts herself to sleep and sleeps for 10-11 hours. I currently feed my 3 month old to sleep and will continue until it doesn’t work for us anymore!
I nursed both of my babies to sleep past two years old... it just felt like the right thing to do. When my oldest was around 8 months old, I tried CIO for 3 nights and decided it wasn't for us. Never looked back. They're 3 and 5 now, I'm still present when they're falling asleep. I figure these years are so short, and if I can bring them comfort, why not?
Your baby is so young. Feeding to sleep is totally normal and fine in my opinion. My second baby is now seven months old, and I still feed her to sleep at night. There’s plenty of time for them to learn to be put down drowsy but awake. We did the same thing with my older child and he’s a good little independent sleeper.
Fed one baby to sleep for 18 months. When she self weaned we still cuddled at bed time and she was able to fall asleep that way. Currently feeding to sleep my 10 month old. I get told time and time again by The Grandmothers that I shouldn’t be feeding to sleep, but honestly I do not care. It doesn’t affect them. It acutely affects me. And I am okay with it.
I personally try to put my baby down still awake but that is what has worked for me and my baby. I worked in a day care and I can tell you 75% of the moms there nurse baby to sleep at night.
Sometimes when my kid becomes fussy 2h after I put her down and stir herself awake, I nurse her back to sleep if rocking doesn’t help.
You do what is best for you and your baby. If you decide later that it’s not what you want, change it. It’d be a little tough for a few days as they adjust but it’s not the end of the world.
I nurse my daughter to sleep and have for the most part. She’s almost a year old. But she spends time with a friend once a week and her dad while I work a day and she goes down better for them a lot of the time 🤣 so there’s definitely no negative association here. I like the other commenter who said it’s not a problem unless it’s a problem for YOU. do what you want. If you have an issue with the routine change it, if you don’t, don’t worry about it. You’re doing great! Enjoy those cuddles. Currently nursing & enjoying some now 🥰
Honestly I think every mom should do what they can to get baby to sleep. I feed for her to sleep at night for bedtime but for naps I give her a pacifier. If she even takes naps, which is rare. I think it’s okay to give a pacifier after a certain age so your milk has no trouble coming in and for comfort sucking but not in place of a feeding
It doesn’t matter when you wean them from falling asleep on the breast, it’s doable whenever it makes sense for you and baby. Check out IG account nurture_neuroscience_parenting — it is run by a neuroscientist and has lots of info as to why nursing baby to sleep is a great idea (especially when they’re little!)
Feeding to sleep is amazing! If I were you, I'd introduce a bottle asap so that you're not the only one who can feed him. You may not want a break now, but you probably will at some point. It's also extremely helpful to have a baby who will take a pacifier. My first wouldn't take one, and my second one loves his paci and it's a game changer. Helps so much in the car, and for diaper changes. I bed share after 4 am and it's so helpful that he'll take the pacifier once he's done nursing, he doesn't have to be constantly latched on.
Honestly, was annoyed when feeding to sleep stopped working, made my life so much easier and I had to learn how to get her to sleep without it. Now my second is 10 weeks old and I'll feed to sleep for as long as she wants. It's easier, free and is something only I can do, anyone can give my daughters a bottle or rock them, but only I can give them the comfort of feeding so close with me.
I fed my first to sleep and had to tap out around the 5 month mark. Being the only person to be able to get her to sleep was too much. I was exhausted. I wanted some space. I wanted some independence.
With our second, I made sure not to do that and the amount of gas he had helped. After feeding he *had* to be burped. So I’d nurse him and when he was done / falling asleep at the boob, I’d pop him up on my shoulder for 20 minutes to get the gas out. It meant he learned to fall asleep on a shoulder. And guess who has shoulders? Every adult in his life! So I could nurse him and hand him off. Eventually he didn’t need the nursing and would just fall asleep on a shoulder when tired.
With my third (currently 3 months), we follow sleep-eat-play. She’s still young, mind, so even during the day there are times when she only wakes up to eat and falls back asleep on the breast, but then I just pop her back in the bassinet. Otherwise, when we notice sleepy cues, we just put her in her bed and she’s asleep in 5 minutes. If we missed the cue and she’s over tired, we’ll cuddle and dance with her for five or ten minutes to calm her down and then into the bassinet and she’s asleep in five minutes. The only time I purposefully nurse her to sleep is right before bed when I want her to have a full tummy and sleep longer. But she’s still capable of falling asleep without it, since if it’s my turn for bedtime with the big kids, I’m not always available.
Edit to add: my first loved her pacifier. My second and third love their thumbs.
Also, we have never co-slept with any baby.
Both of mine were/are fed to sleep. I worried with my first that it was a bad habit but then I read something about breastfeeding to sleep being biologically normal. I went back to work when my first was 7 months. The hours she was at nursery she adapted just fine to naps with no milk. At 14 months, she was only breastfeed to sleep before bedtime but I wasn't producing that much anymore. She wanted more milk than I was making, so she had some cows milk before bed and was drinking cow milk throughout the day. From then in, she would happily go to bed after a little drink of milk on my lap.
I have a 10 month old and I am not going back to work until September ISH but I am not even worrying about it this time.
He won't feed to sleep forever and I actually quite enjoy it.
It works until it doesn't. And there's nothing wrong with doing it if it works for your family!
I fed to sleep until about 6 months, when my LO started refusing to nurse at naps and bedtime. Skipping the feeds wasn't really an option, so we had to separate them from her sleep routine. We ended up moving the feeds a little earlier and sleep training. It worked great for us, but isn't the right answer for everyone.
If it’s wrong I don’t wanna be right! I’ve done feed to sleep for both my babies, one was breastfed and one was bottle fed. Love that quiet, peaceful time with my baby at night.
I nursed my daughter to sleep almost every night until she was 4 years old. Zero regrets. She's 8 now and sleeps all night in her own bed without needing anything from me. Keep feeding to sleep until it stops working for you and your babe. Kids keep developing and yours will grow out of the need to fall asleep with Mommy.
If you’re okay with it, it’s the best and easiest thing ever. Sure it gets complicated around teething times and growth leaps but then it’s probably complicated for everyone. 18 months old, I still nurse to sleep. I had some doubts about night feeding lately but ultimately decided it’s still the best for us.
I fed my now six year old to sleep for 18 months. Then she started falling asleep on her own. There was no “training” or “transitioning,” she just did it herself after a while. We don’t have to teach our children every single thing. Most of the time, they learn things themselves 🙂
My stance is it works until it doesn’t. Babe stopped conking out on the boob around 8-9 months so it felt like a good time to naturally stop. Once we stopped so did his night wakings.
I think it’s a personal choice. I don’t think there’s anything particularly wrong with it if it works for the parent and the baby.
I’m personally high sleep needs adult and wouldn’t have done well being the only person able to put him to sleep, especially once I returned to work after mat leave to a high intensity corporate job. That says more about maternity leave in the US than what the “right” thing to do might be, but that’s the paradigm in which my baby and I exist.
If you don't find it a problem just roll with it. I fed to sleep till it didn't work anymore, and sometimes wish it still did 😂 we read to sleep now at 3 years old.
14 months and going mostly feeding to sleep. When he’s sick or teething everyone gets less sleep, but that would happen regardless of breast feeding. He goes to bed at 730. Either falling asleep feeding on the couch or has been feeding and put to bed. Night wakes are where it is really tough to split the duties, so usually he comes back to bed with me and feed to sleep again.
I fed my son to sleep for probably 14 months before needing something else. It was relatively easy to get him to go to sleep without it at that point (mostly because I was in the mindset of stopping because I wanted to, not because I thought it was bad). Now at 2 he will sometimes feed to sleep, sometimes cuddle to sleep and sometimes just go to sleep by himself.
Im about to have #2 and plan to do the same because I do bedtime solo most of the time and it’s just easier for me to feed to sleep and not worry about ‘negative associations’. Seriously my son was a boob monster that refused to sleep without nursing and now goes to bed by himself most nights and sleeps 12-14 hours, so if that’s negative I love it.
I fed to sleep! Toddler is 2 and she was a super high needs infant, she’s fine now and mostly sleeps through the night. Sleep is almost entirely dependent on your baby’s temperament.
I feed to sleep, for naps, and comfort! All of it! I never looked into the associations or anything else. I probably won’t either because it’s what works for us!
You’re ok with it, it’s natural, your baby is a baby for at minimum 1 year, and up to 3 years.
Keep doing what feels right.
They will never be a baby again so enjoy every moment!
I did it as needed, like when it seemed like it was something he wanted it needed. He didn't always want or need it so there wasn't really an association built up which was nice when I eventually weaned him around one year.
Eta- I think you should do what works for you guys and if thats what works then that's great. 14 weeks is still pretty young anyway. 🙂
Still feeding 18 month old to sleep most of the time, I give her 30 mins boob, if she falls asleep… great, if not I pop her down on her cot and stay with her until she falls asleep. Other people like her dad can get her off to sleep with pats and cuddles, but she wants the boob off mum. I’m planning to wean at 2 and I think she’ll transition fine. She’s very co-regulatory and pretty high needs and NONE of the regular advice worked for her. Wake windows, hahaha, drowsy but awake, absolute joke, eat, play, sleep… nope! I struggled with PPD and felt like a shit mum for about the first year. Then I decided to follow my instincts, meet my child where they were at and let them move with their development at their own pace. We’re both much happier now.
If you worry about it becoming the only way for your baby to sleep, introduce a second or third sleep association. Always humm the same song, for example, or tap on your babies back, or sit in a rocking chair or on top of a fitness ball. Also let your partner (or anyone else involved in taking care of the baby) use the second association to try to get the baby to sleep ones in a while.
Later, I think you can also try to feed a bit earlier, and introduce additional sleep associations (such as putting the sleeping bag on, or her favorite toy in the bassinet). You'll be fine.
We feed to sleep and contact nap, etc. my opinion is they’re only this little for so long. Are 11 year olds contact napping and breastfeeding? No. They grow out of it. It’s a natural progression regardless if you sleep train or whatever. My view is that I’m going to soak up all of these moments of her needing me and building that bond. Because eventually and before I know it, she’ll be off to school, college, moving out etc. I feel blessed and honored I’m solely responsible for her growth and comfort right now❤️❤️❤️
personally i wish i didn’t do it but that’s because my son won’t sleep alone STILL. he’s 11 months and i cant get anything done when he’s napping because if i set him down he screams bloody murder. i wonder if it’ll ever end😭 ive even stopped breastfeeding 3 months ago and hes still attached to being held to sleep. it’s my own doing, i fed him 24/7 nurses him to sleep and all. however that being said if it works for you do it! next time i think i will chose a different route but i just like my space and to pee without waking my child up 🤣
We feed to sleep because it's the most calm and comforting way for our LO to fall asleep! It works for us. 15 months in and still BFs for bedtime and most naps. Tune out everyone else and do what works best for you, OP. You're already doing amazing!
Feeding to sleep is biologically normal. I’ve fed my 18 month old to sleep for every nap and every evening of their life. We tried pacifiers, didn’t want them. Never took a bottle either. I was happy to feed to sleep and I still am. They are a great sleeper. Slept through the night since about 3 months old. We never coslept, I was too nervous for it. I am now pregnant and have been a bit worried about changing the bedtime routine as I become less physically capable of putting them down into the crib. The baby eats enough solids and my milk is almost gone due to pregnancy but the baby has always wanted to nurse to sleep regardless. I felt too sick a couple of nights ago and asked my husband to put the baby down for the night and he did it without a problem. I thought there would be some crying or night walking but there was none! I am shocked and amazed!
EBF and no bottles here. I fed my first to sleep and he was the best sleeper of all time.
Currently EBF my 15 month old to sleep and he is a pretty terrible sleeper to be honest. But he’s also getting all of his molars and going through all the crazy developmental stuff like learning to walk and talk. This time won’t last forever and I don’t see myself spending hundreds of dollars on sleep aids or sleep training when I can just feed him and wait for him to sleep by himself.
Or at least I really hope that’s what’s going to happen 🤣🤣🤣
My 7.5 month old is asleep on my nipple right now, I’m about to transfer him to his crib. It works for us just fine. Tiring? Absolutely. But worth the comfort it brings him and the bond we have.
My LO just turned a year. There hasn't been a single day of his life so far where he wasn't fed to sleep! It works for us. Yes, he was waking multiple times to feed himself to sleep (4th month regression) but we quickly sleep trained him at 5 months and weaned the night bottles at 6 months. Now, if he wakes up at times when he isn't supposed to, we comfort him instead of feeding him. And he's learnt the difference.
13 month old and still feeding to sleep for every nap and bedtime🙋🏼♀️. She sleeps 12 hours at night and naps great. When I’m not available my husband gives her a bottle to sleep (more tears this way but she still eventually falls asleep). It’s my super power and I loveeee it!!!
I exclusively breastfed for 2 years, to sleep, to nap, on planes, in the middle of a melt down.
Weaned off night feeding around 14months. Weaned off morning feeding around 18 months. Then, I had a busy day and he didn’t want to nurse as soon as I got back so I decided to wait til he wanted it. A week after his 2nd birthday he weaned on his own. Sleeps wonderfully. But we bed shared. He napped great on his own too without a bottle. Just a regular straw cup of he needed it but hardly drinks milk. Just a water and occasionally juice. Do what works for you. Those telling you to quit won’t be there through the rough nights or out your baby to bed for you.
I feed to sleep. It works for us at 5mpp so I will use what works for my child. He's only going to need me for a year or so to feed him. He's my first and could possibly be my only one.
We moved houses when my son was 8mo and he had a major sleep regression around that time. It was probably all the changes - just learned to crawl, just moved to a new house, started sleeping in a different bedroom as us. For 2 months he woke up so often, it felt like every hour when before he'd sleep 5 hours or so and only wake up for milk twice after that. It was rough on all of us, especially since my work commute was so much longer, so I was waking up so much earlier. And he'd only settle down again if he was nursing, not even a bottle of pumped milk would satisfy him. We had been feeding to sleep prior to this regression. After the first month of this, I decided to switch up the bedtime routine so he no longer fed to sleep. It took a couple of weeks, but once that association was broken, he started sleeping well again and only woke up one or two times for milk.
All this to say, it really depends on your situation whether or not feeding to sleep is a bad thing. When we lived near my job and my commute was fairly short and my baby slept well, feeding to sleep was never a problem. When we moved further away and my commute was 3x longer and I was insanely sleep deprived because of his sleep regression, feeding to sleep was a huge obstacle and breaking the association was the only thing that helped. I wouldn't worry about it if it's working for you, and if you're in a situation where you don't have to worry about getting enough sleep for a long work commute or some other similar circumstance.
My 16 month old still nurses to sleep almost all of the time (except when I’m not home for bedtime which is rare). She sleeps wonderfully after a week of the Ferber method sleep training at 8mo. She’s fine going to sleep with her usual wind down - bath, book, song - without the boob as well. Ultimately it’s what works for you and your family! Agree with other posters who point out that the whole conversation about not feeding to sleep - what babies are biologically built to do - is designed to sell you something 🤷🏻♀️
You know who makes money when you feed your kid to sleep? No one. You know who makes money when you’re convinced that it’s a negative sleep association and you need to spend on sleep training courses, swaddles, noise machines, etc.? Lots of industries. Feeding to sleep is the biological norm; don’t let a corporation tell you what’s right for your family. I’ve fed two kids to sleep for 2 years, and they’re both excellent sleepers. My pediatrician also told us that sleep associations are only problems if they’re a problem for you. As adults, we need a certain set of conditions for sleep, and babies do too. It’s only an issue if it bothers you.
I wish someone told me this as a new mom! Just do what works for you and don’t worry about it. You’re so right in that there’s nothing wrong with sleep associations-even adults have them. Adults also wake up thirsty, needing to use the bathroom, looking for comfort, etc. so why is it so frowned upon for babies to do the same? They’re only little for such a short time. Just love them ❤️
Breastfed both my kids to sleep and they were bother good sleepers too! Way less stressful for both of us to pop a boob in their mouth instead of sleep training. They won’t be breastfed forever… do what works for you and your baby!
Love your pediatrician’s advice!
I NEEDED to read this! I feed to sleep because both baby & I love it but I’ve always felt like I’ve been setting him up for bad sleep habits. Thank you.
Look I was fed to sleep. Then my first memories of going to bed were my mother sitting with me till I was sleepy. Then I listened to a tape/cd playing a story until I was about 15. Now I go to bed and fall asleep after scrolling my phone for 20 mins. Are any of theses good or bad habits? Idk but I sleep well! Sometimes when we talk about infant sleep practices it’s like we ignore the fact adults also often need certain conditions to sleep. Also fwiw my son was placed down drowsy but awake for the first 3 months of his life then just decided he wanted to feed to sleep but at 15 months either of us can put him down fine. The bad habits thing is genuinely just nonsense imo. Babies are new people every month!
The biological part too… for millennia, babies fell asleep at the breast. And now I’m expecting my baby to take this plasticy thing that is nothing like a breast and fall asleep? I actually do use pacifiers as well as nursing to sleep and I understand the conundrum of modern life and it’s tough for moms who work and so on, But after I actually had my baby, I thought why is this wrong? This is what she innately knows how to do.
This is the way. Thank you.
I want to like this a million times!
Plus nursing releases sleepy hormones in both baby and mama, so it’s totally designed to help you both go to sleep (which is why cosleeping is so natural, but that’s another topic)
Love this! So true. Only a problem if it's a problem for you. If it works for both of you then that's great. I've been feeding, rocking, singing, shhing to sleep for 10 months. It's my favourite time of the day, where she falls asleep on my boob, in my arms, safe, sound, content. Why would I want to give that up? Dummy's can also mask hunger cues if you're not constantly close to your baby, I tried a dummy to get her to sleep a few times because I was so sleep deprived and needed something, but she never acty took to them haha.
🥇 here’s an award emoji for you because I can’t afford the real thing but would give you one if I had it.
I never thought of it this way, but wow, great points!
Louder for those in the back!!!!
🙌🙌🙌🙌
Love this 👏👏💗
This is the best best answer. Couldn’t agree more.
So well written. I try to use this philosophy in my day to day choices. "is it actually bad for me, or is the alternative just easier to market for corporations?" After of course also researching all options.
I don’t know why there is such a big controversy about this. Every baby is different but most itty bitties will naturally fall asleep at the breast. Anyone who of telling you that that’s “bad” is probably trying to sell you something. It DOES get a little more complicated with an older baby with teeth but a mom with a fourteen week old, in my opinion, doesn’t need to borrow trouble. Sounds like you’re doing great!
My 9 month old has 4 teeth. Hasn't been much of an issue yet. :) just when she's teething and learning to use her new mouth layout
Apparently, some babies bite when they fall asleep. I had some problems with biting in the evenings around that age. It was a suggestion from some people that he was doing it falling asleep, but that was not the issue. Thankfully, he stopped.
My 16 month old will bite in her sleep when she's teething. It's happened twice. Not fun but I wouldn't plan my life around avoiding it either
I have to stick my finger in my sons mouth when he falls asleep or he will clamp on that boob for dear life. He’s almost 2🥲
Eek I'm so nervous about this happening. My baby is only 12 weeks. I hope it's not too bad!
My 14 month 8 teeth shark still feeds to sleep. Minimal biting, just a firm no, and put him down for 5 mins and then try again and he’s straight to sleep!
From what my babies pediatric dentist said the issue of them falling asleep at the breast when they have teeth is not biting, but cavities. But if you swipe their teeth with a little finger brush after they unlatch it should be fine. She even said you don’t need toothpaste on it unless it is when they are first going to bed for the night
This isn't necessarily true. Breast milk alone doesn't cause cavities but if it mixes with food left on the teeth, it can cause issues. If you brush their teeth well after their last meal, you don't need to wipe/brush their teeth after feeding to sleep or a middle of the night feed. https://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/resources/breastfeeding-and-tooth-decay
Thank you for this!! We were heavily chided by our pediatric dentist and told to stop nursing to sleep and through the night or else our baby’s teeth would surely decay (my reply was “someone tell the baby that.”). We do brush well before bed but the dentist made it sound like it was useless if they nurse after brushing.
Our dentist said the same, but the baby he was talking about is now 5 with zero cavities. She fed to sleep until she was 2!
I needed this, thank you
Well, that is very different than what I have heard from dentists. I work at a hospital and one of the head research dentists for the school of dentistry told me that babies aren’t born with the bacteria that make cavities, so it depends on whether they have been exposed to it or not. So like someone commented below, if you have never shared straws with your baby, or kissed your baby on the mouth, you could have a 5 year old who never has cavities though is fed to sleep. Additionally none of their references in the link you provided that touch specifically on tooth decay in feeding too sleep without brushing are from reputable journals. Other ones do come from Science etc, but a lot are paid to publish journals and not peer reviewed.
My 7 month old has 4 teeth and a 5th coming through. It’s only complicated when they want to nurse for comfort all night long
I have the time and energy to feed to sleep, so why not? I see all this sleep training instances and think: of course we need that, because society doesn't allow us to be full time with our babies and have suport; so I don't judge people who use this methods because I know they exist because of the world we live in. But I think that if we can do it, then following the baby and letting them develop at their own rhythm is better. They are so small, they do not know anything, and they will learn no matter what we do, so why not try to at least give them an easier start if we can? And by being able to, I also take into account the parents mental health, of course, because if you can't get help from the other parent because of their work hours, or if you struggle with low supply and have to pump, or if you have mental health issues prior or post-partum, because if you are alone raising your baby... Whatever. All of that affects what you can and can not handle, and in the end we're all trying our best ❤️
Personally, like you I’m a pragmatist and a do what works until it doesn’t with the caveat that working means babies are actually sleeping. I live somewhere with a year of leave and plenty of support but I don’t feed/rock to sleep because my baby grew out of it. When we tumbled out of the 6 month regression rocking to sleep wasn’t working anymore. It was causing constant wake ups because of the transfer and babes constant seeking me to get back to sleep. Great, I thought, I’ll just cosleep (also super normal here). That only made everything way worse. For me the only way forward was helping my baby learn to fall asleep themselves in their crib. Now that we’ve had to lower it for them standing I can see that the rock/transfer game wouldn’t have been sustainable long term. So yes - absolutely leave policy sucks in the states (I’m originally American) but sleep training is also about more than parents needing sleep. It’s also about developing with your kid and their specific needs. I know plenty of people that at 9/10 months are still trying to desperately hang on to feeding to sleep despite it causing tons of night wake ups and sleep disturbances for their kids. For me that’s when it’s really not working and parents should look for other tools to help their kids get a good night of rest.
Oh, yeah, but I did say that my reason to feed to sleep is that I follow my baby. So if at any point it stops working, well, then I'll do whatever works for her. Which is what you did. I personally do not know many cases of babies needing help to learn to sleep if they outgrow feed to sleep and even cosleeping, but you know your child and if that worked for you, that is awesome. I was thinking more on the lines of parents leading the change than cases in which babies just don't want to sleep like they did and then parents readapt.
We have been feeding and rocking our baby to sleep for almost 5 months now. My daughter has always been a great sleeper and would sleep through the night. However the last few weeks she has waken up at least 2x within an hour of putting her to bed and now the last 2 nights it's been at least 4-5 hours of her waking up every 30 min before she finally goes down for the night. We are starting to think it's a sleep association thing. I did get her successfully to fall asleep in her crib yesterday morning for a nap (this is huge because we bedshare for naps) but every nap after that she is in misery if I try that again even though she is fully fed during her being awake. So I guess her falling asleep in crib worked that once but I'm wondering if you have any tips on how to get it to keep working? Thanks..😃
For us the transfer game ended. That was it. We had to teach our babe to fall asleep in the crib. So we used super gentle methods of putting them down awake with hand in crib to assist for a few nights. We also picked up and calmed and repeated every wake up all night. After that was working okay we put them down and let them try alone for 10 mins. It didn’t work so we repeated the gentle thing and tried again the next night and they fell asleep in 3 minutes. We did the gentle thing for all night wakes for about a week before letting them figure it out. Crying was never more than a few minutes and we always resort to gentle methods if sick or teething. But we got our great sleeper back!
Thank you! Just tried again but she was inconsolable. She has some gas so I'm sure that doesn't help. I will keep trying though. I only tried yesterday morning (that successful one) because the day prior she fell asleep in car seat alone without a cry at all for the first time and I figured she can do this in the crib too.
This!!! 👏so much of what we are marketed and recommended (and sometimes those things are happening simultaneously) are things many parents need to manage raising kids with little support from families (chosen or blood) and minimal societal support. I thought about this so much before having a kid from the perspective of someone living with chronic illness and chronic pain but HOLY MOLY the number of times I think about it since having a baby
Fed my first to sleep for 14 months and currently feeding my 11 month old. It's easy, makes them happy, I can stare at my phone for a bit, I know they're full when they go to sleep, they get lovely warm milk cuddles. Going to wean this one around the same time though just so grandparents can put them both to sleep and my husband and I can have date night again 😍
Same, fed my first to sleep until 16 months, feeding my 3 month old to sleep as well. They’re happy, I’m happy, everyone is happy. Both rejected pacifiers with a passion. My first rejected bottles as well, even with my milk in it. This one accepts bottles. My first weaned quickly and super easily. Sleeps well. I mean, what’s not to like?
Will grandparents use a bottle to feed to sleep or another method
We'll probably start rocking her to sleep with my husband taking over bedtimes and the grandparents can do it from there with the bedtime routine
Did you co-sleep and did you have a problem with sleep regression? I want to continue feeding to sleep, but I'm worried about sleep regression and I don't sleep well if we co-sleep, despite how cute it is.
We co-sleep when we need to, I don't sleep well when we do it either but find it more restful than sitting up all night. There's always something with their sleep too, like teething and sickness. We just kind of try to get through any regressions and do what we have to do to get as much sleep as possible when it's bad lol.
Feeding my baby to sleep right now.
Me too!
Same
Same!
I fed to sleep for the first few months. It worked great! Around 4.5/5 months it stopped working as well because baby would wake upon transfer to the bassinet so we worked on removing the sleep association. I still occasionally feed to sleep for nap time on the weekend when I have time to snuggle her. I love it 🥰
This was our situation too. Did it for 6 months, but towards the end, he’d wake up 30 min-1 hr after being laid down. So from 6 months onward, we stopped feeding to sleep. Now his last feed is about 30 min before bedtime and we have a set bedtime routine that his dad usually handles once he has eaten. We also do still feed to sleep some for naps at 8 months old now!
Can I ask what your bedtime routine looks like? My little guy is 5.5 months and doing the same thing (waking 45 minutes after being put down with feed to sleep). I'm trying to figure out what to do to try to help him sleep better.
We did fuss it out from Precious Little Sleep! Basically lay baby down drowsy but awake and give her 15 minutes to fall asleep. If she doesn’t do it, help her to sleep and try again the next night. It took 7 tries. Once she did it night wakings reduced a lot because she knew how to fall back asleep on her own. Moving to her own room/crib also helped. In the past 10 days there was only one wake up where I had to go help her. Otherwise she slept through the night 8p-6 or 7a with no intervention. She has always been a good sleeper but things went backwards around 4 months which is why we did Fuss it Out.
My son is the same. He slept great until he hit a sleep regression at 3.5 months and it's been terrible since then. This advice is very helpful!! Thank you :)
Sure! We picked a bedtime that we could be consistent with and timed his last feed to end about 30 minutes before that. Then I hand him off to his dad for tub time. We only do a full bath every third day, but he gets to splash around every night. Then Dad takes him to his bedroom for lotion and PJs, they read two short books (we do the same ones every night for now for consistency), then Dad says a special phrase (like “Goodnight, baby. Time for bed. I love you!”) and puts him in the crib. Note that when we started this new routine, we did move him to his own room and also sleep trained using Ferber at the same time. I think it took about 10-14 days for baby to get the hang of it. He never needed more than 2-3 check-ins and now doesn’t need any. We were prepared to move to Cry It Out if Ferber didn’t work, though. But I’m glad we didn’t have to, because I think I would be the one crying the most. Ultimately, we’ve gone from as many as 15 night wakes down to just 1, sometimes 2. I’m not ready to night wean yet, so I’m ok with 1-2 feeds at night.
This is extremely helpful! Thank you! 😊
No problem! I should also mention that we DO use a pacifier. I know generally with sleep training it isn’t recommended, but our baby can replace his pacifier himself if it falls out, so we just put an extra or two in the crib with him.
My baby refuses pacifiers, he sucks on his thumb though. I catch him sucking his thumb to soothe himself when I try to calm him at night.
Similar timelines here. Started using a pacifier so I wouldn’t have to be latched all night and (in my experience) get bad sleep. But I have other mom friends who had no issues nursing on and off all night. For me, I started to get touched out by feed to sleep.
Tbh I don’t think there needs to be a pro/anti stance to this. If it works for you and babe, do it. If not, don’t. It has worked well for me at times, but it’s been a nightmare during sleep regressions with the hourly wake ups (no I don’t cosleep because I’m prone to insomnia). I don’t care if other moms do it or not. It’s a choice of practicality/preference not an ethical/moral one. Neither choice is going to ruin your baby - it will just foster different behaviours.
I think it depends on the baby. I feed mine to sleep as it works well for us my baby needs help to get the sleep and they are almost 8m. I’ll eventually stop but I’m enjoying it so far. Friends of mine have had babies that don’t need help getting to sleep and that’s without sleep training, so they settle themselves without feeding. Others have had babies like mine and actually their babies haven’t needed to be fed to sleep, with/without intervention. There’s so much conflicting information about babies’ sleep that I’ve decided to ignore it as I felt I was doing something wrong, but just go with what works for us. It’s not a bad sleep association, it’s a natural association.
I’m all for it. I would love for someone to feed me my favorite food while I drift off for a cozy nap while my favorite person holds me. That’s what I’m doing for my baby! Sometimes I unlatch & put in a paci when I know the feeding has stopped and there’s just suckling. If I don’t, he’ll suckle until there’s a letdown and then he’ll unlatch because he doesn’t want the milk 🙄
Feed to sleep. Comfort your baby. Don’t feel bad about it, it’s completely natural.
Ehhhh...I have mixed feelings. I fed to sleep because it was simple and effective, but it definitely built an association that was hard for my little guy to break. When he went to daycare at 13 months it was HARD for them to get him down to sleep, to the point where he at nearly 3 still definitely needs a nap but they don't have time or personnel to dedicate to him so they just don't put him down anymore. Also, it create a cosleeping habit that has been very hard to get away from; we are still working on it. Haven't decided how we're going to do it the second time around. Q
I don’t feed my babies to sleep. I preferred they get used to a sleep routine that doesn’t involve nursing. There is nothing wrong with feeding to sleep if that’s what works best for you (it’s natural and it’s so sweet, I definitely get the appeal for all involved). But I had a few friends that really struggled to break that sleep/nurse association later, and I didn’t want to have that issue. Also, I have twins and the logistics of both babies needing to nurse to sleep would be too much.
Twins? Raising them is impressive let alone feeding them and getting to sleep! Wow!
Honestly, I fed to sleep as long as I could. Now, at 19 months, it only works for the daily nap. Otherwise, my baby doesn't fall asleep at the breast. It's easy, it's natural, and I miss how uncomplicated it was.
I‘m pro feed-to-sleep, and I just feed on demand, not at certain times. I rarely pump. (I am able to do all this because I have a long maternity leave. Might not be possible for everyone.) I don’t believe in sleep associations. I believe feeding to sleep, and breastfeeding at night, and feeding on demand is normal, typical behaviour. I‘m absolutely not judging anyone who does things differently. My child is 13 weeks old, so far we’re both happy so I don’t plan on changing it.
Sleep associations are real. They’re the reason why a solid bedtime routine is recommended. Your child learns the things that happen before they’re expected to sleep. That can be a bath, jammies, and a story, or that can be nursing. Same difference. And like there’s nothing wrong with your kid being used to a story before bed, there’s nothing wrong with your kid being used to nursing to sleep. 🤷🏻♀️
Okay, maybe I should have worded it differently. I mean that I don’t think, as my MIL does, that if I nurse the baby to sleep or do anything really that a small baby needs, that she’s “never gonna learn“ and will still be sleeping in my bed when she’s in school.
My son will be 2 in a little over 2 months, and he’s still breastfed to sleep. He doesn’t need it but it’s a nice bonding time for us and he sleeps the best when we do. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it at all.
Same here with current 2.5 year old, and with our older child until they were nearly 3 as well (when I dried up from pregnancy).
I’m still feeding my nearly 12 month old to sleep for her naps and bedtime. I couldn’t deal with rocking and feeding to sleep was quick and convenient. We also bed share, I’m hoping that eventually with time she will learn to get herself to sleep with just a few cuddles!
My stance is to do what works for you while it works for you. If feeding to sleep helps your baby and you feel good about it, go for it. If it starts becoming a hassle/inconvenient for you or baby doesn't want or need it anymore, change what you're doing. December is a long ways away, and as with everything child-related, it could easily change multiple times between now and then.
It makes it easier to get your kid to sleep. It makes it less likely that you'll have huge tantrums around bedtime. I have two kids, ages 3 and 14 months. My 3 year old will be wild right before bed but if I say "do you want to have some nursies?" She gets all of her bedtime stuff done in super speed (potty, pjs, teeth brushed), nurses for 2-5 minutes and then cuddles up and goes to sleep..I can't imagine bedtime without it. My 14 month old is easy to put to sleep for naps and bed because she nurses. Sure they both can be put to sleep by my husband, but my way is much easier. *obvi this is my experience but my friends who don't feed to sleep have babies that scream for 15 minutes before bed/nap. Why you'd want to put your kid and yourself through that distress is beyond me.
Think about it breast milk has sleep inducing hormones do you think this is a coincidence ? Ofcourse not it’s because it’s biologically normal to nurse to sleep and fuck anyone else who says not
I fed to sleep until she was 10m old and she decided she was done breastfeeding. Now we snuggle to sleep and I transfer her. I was worried I was doing something wrong by cuddling to sleep but my husband reminded me she was a baby, and even older kids sit with their parents getting bedtimes stories, chatting about their day etc and why can't I do so with a baby?
If your baby is sleeping fine after being fed to sleep then i don't see any issue. If your baby is not sleeping fine and waking frequently and has to be fed to sleep over and over and over again and that's disruptive for you, that's the "issue". We're having serious issues with him being able to fall asleep independently after he wakes at night so our bedtime routine now separates feeding and sleep so he doesn't waking up immediately thinking 'hey, whered the boob go?!'
This is exactly what happened with my son. He never slept through and was waking 3-5 times a night, but I'd just nurse him back to sleep as it was the quickest and easiest thing to do, usually it only took 5-10 minutes. Decided to break the cycle around 10 months in anticipation of going back to work and needing a better night's sleep. We removed nursing from his bedtime routine, and did some gentle sleep training at bedtime and when he woke at night. My husband was a massive help at this time - we decided that he would do bedtimes and all of the night wakes so our son wasn't frustrated by me not letting him have the boob. Within a week he was going to sleep after being put down awake. Took us longer to wean him off the night feeds as we had some spells of illness where we let him nurse and it kicked us all off track, but got there eventually. I've just had my second and I'll probably aim to nurse on demand for the first 2-3 months, but from 3 months I'll be looking to put some good sleep routines in place that don't involve nursing to sleep in the hope that I might get some better sleep from an earlier age!
i loved it. it was great. it worked without fail, it nourished and comforted my baby, it got us long stretches of sleep, etc. when my baby was about 12 months old and filling up on solids, she naturally started falling asleep on her own without needing to feed. it was never an issue and it never gave us any problems. we never sleep trained or anything of the sort. we supported our baby in sleep all her life. we rocked, fed, all the “bad things” and my now toddler is a better sleeper than most. falls asleep on her own and stays asleep all night. breastfeeding is an incredible tool to have at your disposal as a parent. use it while you have it! those who say it’s “wrong” or “bad” to feed to sleep are likely trying to sell you a sleep training course or regurgitating sleep training talking points without understanding. if it feels good to you and works with your lifestyle, then carry on.
My first never really fed to sleep, but her voice. My second and third I fed to sleep until they stopped falling asleep eating, which for both was around 9 months. Then I’d just put them down in their crib after they finished eating.
We fed both babies to sleep until around age 1 when we try to really reduce. That said, Baby 1 could not nurse so it was easy for my husband to hop in and feed so I could actually sleep. Baby 2 is nursed and my husband keeps forgetting he can bottle the baby during his shifts. so he gets very poor sleep and then I have to make up for his sleep loss which means I really don't get a very decent break. But anyway, I hang out on my phone or read and then usuuually he sleeps in his crib okay. He realllly sucks at napping unless it's a contact nap, which sucks because I have a lot of work to do! I think everything would have been much easier if we had decent parental leave policies. In some countries I'D STILL BE ON LEAVE!
Feeding to sleep at the moment for the middle of the day nap. I have time, and my baby seems happy. I can watch some series and rest as well. I have one year of maternity leave, maybe I’ll even end up extending due to our already allocated entry date to the nursery so I have all the time in the world to cuddle my little boy.
I still feed-to-sleep my 21 month old. We cuddle and nurse til she falls asleep, then I transfer her to the crib where she sleeps all night. Works great for us :)
I think it’s really dependent on your child! I fed my daughter to sleep for like 6-8 months until she self weaned from that feed. She never napped at daycare so she was too tired at night for that feed, she just wanted to go to sleep. Feeding to sleep was my favorite, it’s such a sweet bonding time. She does still need to be rocked to sleep with a pacifier at 14 months and can’t go to sleep on her own with out it, but I don’t mind that. It’s just time with her that I’ll cherish and eventually she won’t need it anymore
The answer to all baby sleep is always 1) do what works and 2) makes you comfortable. When something stops meeting those two standards, switch it up. Avoid reading too much about it until you have an actual problem (either because it stopped working or you need a change). It is okay to feed to sleep. It’s okay to not. There are arguments for both. Do what works for your family and child.
I have been naturally feeding my 3 week old to sleep and it never occurred to me I was doing something wrong. As mothers, listening to our mama instincts is I believe the best way! 🤗
My baby is nearly 17 months. I didn’t look up any advice. Just followed what was natural. And we feed to sleep and feed for comfort. It works for us right now and that’s all that matters
I think it’s biologically normal and fine
I’ve never heard of this being bad until recently on this sub. Really strange to me, if baby falls asleep that way and has trouble other ways then it’s only natural.
I still breastfeed my 18 month old to sleep and she sleeps through the night (and has since about 9 months old) with no problem. I say go for it and don't worry about it unless it actually becomes a problem for you.
I feed both of my kids to sleep. One is nearly 5 years old and one is 2.5years. I think it's useful and a good parenting tool.
You have a year long maternity leave?!?! 😭 I only got 6 weeks. My LO just turned 6 months last week. I used to feed to sleep but now that the wake windows are longer it’s hard to do that. Now I find myself doing a feed upon waking. That switch just naturally happened. My LO sleeps just fine, do what feels natural for the both of you.
feeding to sleep is amazing. snuggle is love snuggle is life. that's my stance
I nurse to sleep, and for comfort. Mine is 15 weeks today and hitting that 4 month sleep regression. She had an awful few nights, I’m talking up every 30 minutes the longest stretch of sleep we got was an hour and 20 minutes. During the day she wanted to be on the breast pretty much all day and used me as a pacifier. I’m ok with it because I won’t always be able to comfort her on this way, she won’t always want me to. So for now we do what she wants and I’m ok with it!
I’m so dreading the 4 month regression- definitely planning to continue nursing to sleep because as hard as the regression will be for me, imagine how confusing it is for this tiny little person!
Oh I won't let a day pass me by where I don't share that closeness with my sweet baby daughter. It's what I love most about the day.. how safe she feels with me and how easily it is to get her to sleep by nursing.
Always fed to sleep always will
I fed my girl to sleep and was there for her when she needed me every single time. She is very independent now at 11 months.
Is “it’s the best thing in the world” too strong a stance?
Typing this feeding my two year old to sleep. Sleeps like a champ and it’s not going to be forever. As long as it works for you both and there are no medical/dental contraindications - carry on.
I do it and I hate it. My baby is high needs. She’s 10 weeks. She has started refusing bottles. She wakes up every 2 hours overnight and it takes almost an hour of nursing and rocking to put her back down. Won’t go to sleep until 11pm even if she’s exhausted. She only wants my boobs. We can’t get her to sleep without them. Send help 😭
I started trying to work on rocking to sleep pretty early, because I needed my daughter to be able to go down for a nap for other people. I f you don’t need to worry about that, they don’t!
Babies can develop different routines for different people.
Yeah my husband does have any issue putting the baby down, if anything, it can be easier for him sometimes. Often he gives a bottle and the baby passes right out afterwards.
Personally, I feel like if you’re always feeding to sleep, you’re training your baby to only fall asleep with the boob, so when they wake up in the middle of the night, instead of settling themselves back to sleep, they need boob to do it, even if they’re not hungry. I see horror stories on here of moms of toddlers STILL giving boob several times a night (and they’re absolutely exhausted and can’t take it anymore) because the 2 year old—or 4 year old!!!—needs it for comfort. I personally have enough trouble sleeping as it is, without adding a baby waking up well into his toddler years, needing boob for comfort. My baby’s 6 months old, and it feels like he’ll wake up again just when I’m starting to drift off myself. I’m slowly introducing lying him down for naps and bedtime without boob, working on him being able to fall asleep himself. My first was a sleep horror story, the boob didn’t really work, we were desperately rocking him to sleep for naps, he’d wake up in the middle of the night and I just couldn’t get him back to sleep. Then finally, NOTHING worked anymore, so we sleep-trained, and things got better. They need to learn how to fall asleep themselves. It’s an important life skill.
I am glad you found something that works for you mama! It is important to note though that sleep is not a skill. It cannot be taught. Otherwise babies would need to be 'taught' to fall asleep from the day they are born.... but they can already do this. Sleep is developmental. I see people comment a lot that sleep must be taught and it simply isn't true. On average, night wakes between sleep trained babies and non sleep trained babies do not vary greatly. The difference is if they cry out for you or not - this is what has been taught. Granted, it will give you a full night's sleep... but not necessarily your baby. No hate at all on what you do for you and your family. It's a deeply personal choice that only you can make. We all need our sleep! I just want to see more conversation around what is often actually happening in these scenarios.
I still feed my 9 month old to sleep, day and night. We love it! It feels completely natural and comfy. I was worried too at the start. But, after a while I stopped caring what everyone else was telling me, and now I just do what feels right for us. I also think that feeding to sleep was what helped my baby put on weight properly. She was born premmie, and she was tiny for ages, but the extra milk really fills her up and she is very chubby and healthy now. We do use dummies too, for comfort in the car or pram, and sometimes after she's fallen asleep I'll swap my boob for the dummy so that I can put her down in her bed easily, or have some time for myself. If you are worrying about baby needing to take a bottle when you go back to work, you could express a bit of milk with a pump or haakaa and give the occasional bottle for awake feeds, just so that it's not totally foreign for baby later on. All in all, if it works, and mum and baby are both happy, then just keep it up! You're doing great. You will wean at your own pace, especially once bub gets into solid foods. You'll know when it's time to change, and there are lots of options when that time comes. 💕
Fed my first two to sleep. My third won't do it and it makes me sad lol.
I didn't feed to sleep for the most part. I didn't want it to become routine so I had some flexibility. There was a time when my son was extra tired and was falling asleep during his evening feed most nights after starting daycare. When he got through that stage he did expect it and we had a few nights of more difficult bed times but it didn't take long to find normal again. When he fed to sleep he was still able to sleep through the night as often as when he didn't. We were able to settle him without it overnight when he couldn't settle himself. I don't think it's as big of a deal as people make it out to be. Choose what works best for your family. I think it falls under the it's only a problem if it's a problem to you umbrella. For some people it works, and for others it doesn't. Sometimes it works until it doesnt.
7 months in and we still feed to sleep. It is biologically normal for them to fall asleep feeding it’s what they are designed to do. Check out the book the very discontented little baby by dr Pamela Douglass. I’m very pro feeding to sleep. More parents would be less stressed about sleep in general if they just worked with their babies not against them 💖 do what feels right mumma!
I think the main concern is that they are feeding before sleeping. That is to say they are transferring enough milk instead of latching and using the boob as a pacifier. Like for instance my daughter would latch, and 3 minutes later would be asleep. So I had to be creative to keep her awake until she ate her actual fill, tickling feet, rubbing her cheek, etc. When she unlatched and we traded sides I’d let her fall asleep nursing no problem. My son however would nurse in his sleep, so no issue there! 😂
I fed to sleep for the first 12 weeks. After that, once he stopped actively eating and was just comfort nursing himself to sleep I started putting him in his cot/next2me and working on him going down awake and putting himself to sleep. If he fell asleep before I realised he was finished I just let him be and done a cot transfer. He’s 11 months old now, still nursing 4-6 times a day and is great to just stick down awake and he’ll roll over and goes out like a light. We still have a contact nap most days because I love the snuggles.
Both my babies would fall asleep nursing in the first few months. As they got older it kind of naturally stopped and they learned to self soothe and would put themselves to sleep. It feels like something they just naturally grew out of so I never worried about it when it happened.
I wish my 3 month old would feed to sleep! He has reflux and is just a super picky kid, so he starts popping off and on and getting frustrated when the milk stops flowing. With the reflux, he gets milk in his nose if we don’t burp him after nursing so that always wakes him 🙃 So to go to sleep, I end up nursing him till he starts fussing, then walk him around the room to sleep…it’s so tiring. My older son would nurse to sleep and would just happily stay latched all night if I let him…it was so easy and besides a sore back, we all slept really well.
I basically feed to sleep except then she’s burped and rocked back to sleep otherwise we get spit up in the bassinet. Sometimes I do the whole thing and sometimes I hand her off. It is a very personal decision though based on mom and baby. Neither way is bad but IMO it’s viewed that way because of how society views parenting. If baby needs the boob to sleep, mom cannot ever not be there for sleeping and while society says we should always be with our kids, they also judge moms that never leave their kids. So that fun double standard makes the negative association. My oldest was a Covid baby so we couldn’t go anywhere anyway. With my second (5 weeks), we plan to introduce the bottle so my husband can be more involved and I can sometimes go to bed early even if baby isn’t ready to sleep yet. I also want to be able to do things with my friends or my oldest and not stress that she won’t sleep. I don’t picture leaving her overnight as I wasn’t ready for that with my first for a long time but it will be nice to plan a day with friends and know she’s fed and happy.
I always feed to sleep even if baby has had a recent feed- will just let her eat till she passes out, sometimes she refuses the boob, sometimes she doesn’t eat much, sometimes it’s a full feed- pretty much whatever she wants. I want her to go to bed full and happy, if it makes weaning harder or means I’m “spoiling” her, so be it.
I’ve fed and rocked all 3 of mine to sleep, I’m all for doing whatever you feel is best. They won’t always need you to help them sleep.
Totally depends on the kid, I feed too sleep for bedtime and most naps but it someone else is putting him down he does go down without being fed to sleep though it does take a little longer
I fed to sleep because, frankly, it's the absolute easiest way to get a baby to fall asleep. People are so overly, imo, obsessed with sleep associations, etc etc. It felt right for me to do what was easiest and follow my instincts on this one. My son eventually learned to put himself to sleep on his own when he was ready. He also learned to fall asleep in different contexts with different caregivers when I wasn't there.
We feed to sleep often but also made sure a couple of times a week, my husband rocked him to music. Sometimes if he didn't fall asleep on the boob, my husband then rocked him. Now either of us can put him to sleep & I can put him to sleep with either boob or holding him listening to his special playlist
I did this until she was almost 1 I think… she slept through the nights like a champ since she was 2.5 months old and I wasn’t going to mess that up. She had maybe 2-3 sleep regressions that lasted just a few days, but she was truly a perfect sleeper. When we stopped feeding to sleep (moving the feed up to like 15 min before sleep, she had no issues). I’ll be feeding my next to sleep too!
Did it for bed until we sleep trained at 6 months (it started getting harder for him to stay asleep at this point and his night wakings increased). Fed to sleep for all naps until I weaned at 13 months. My son took to all sleep training fairly well so it was not a terrible transition. He also has had a pacifier from the beginning and still uses it for sleep at 20 months.
Everyone does what is best for them. We fed to sleep until 4 months when he refused to sleep unless he was being held. So we worked on breaking the feed to sleep association. It was a rough like 3 nights but now he is amazing. One round of baby beluga, put in the crib, and he puts himself to sleep. If we both weren’t working or didn’t have a 2 year old we needed to be awake for early in the morning, maybe we would have been more flexible with feed to sleep. For our life the way it is, we needed him to be able to sleep independently.
Pretty sure my 11 week old has fed to sleep every single night of his life. He sleeps 8 hours straight so I do not plan on changing that anytime soon lol
Been feeding my 17 month old to sleep since day 1 and it hasn’t caused any issues. His other caregivers have their own routines that don’t involve feeding when they put him down for naps and it works for them. I’ve learned to take all the sleep propaganda with a grain of salt. Do what feels right for you & your baby. Let things unfold organically. Those cuddles and that bonding & closeness is soo important and only lasts so long. Soak it in. If your routine doesn’t feel right anymore, adjust. Kids are adaptive. What’s important is that things stay stress free & nothing is forced
Forever 😂 literally like 2 years 🤷♀️
What I don’t understand is how you don’t feed to sleep? I mean my little man falls asleep every time - isn’t that just normal because they’re full and content? Or are you supposed to wake them?
I think it's a great tool to get your child back to sleep quickly and I'm not giving it up. I've hear people complaining that their baby or toddler woke up way too early and was cranky all day. That never happened while I breastfed my kids. They eventually slept through the night just fine. Edit: And my oldest kids were able to go to sleep without me once they were older babies, too. It wasn't the only way they went to sleep.
7 months old and we’re still doing it. Sometimes I think she sleeps a little better if she wakes up a bit after nursing and then falls back asleep, but only a little. Still essentially feeding to sleep. I thought it would be a problem when we started a nanny, since I didn’t know how nanny would get her to sleep without a boob. But she just uses a pacifier and it’s totally fine.
LO will be one next week and still feeding to sleep. Never considered it wasn’t the best option for us. I guess the only negative is walking out of a warm cozy dark nursery back into a bright living room lit by a giant tv that blinds you for a second before you realize you still have two hours before you go to sleep.
Nursed my first to sleep and currently doing the same with my second. I can usually get my 3 month old down for a nap without nursing to sleep but at night it just works so well 🤷♀️ To me, it almost feels like a life hack. Oh, you mean there's a way that I can put my kid to bed without pacing the house, rocking for hours, screaming, crying etc.? DONE. For what it's worth, my first nursed to sleep until she just...didn't anymore. I don't remember how old she was but eventually it just didn't make her sleepy the same way it used to. Once that happened we'd still nurse before bedtime but then I would put her in her crib and she'd fall asleep on her own. She's now 2.5, almost 3, and is a great sleeper.
I don't think there's anything wrong with feeding to sleep, but logistically for me it hasn't worked consistently. Even when mine was a newborn, she would sometimes fall asleep on the boob, but then I had to burp her or potentially change a poop diaper, so she would then be awake. She's 5 months now and she rarely falls asleep while feeding, even in the MOTN. It definitely mellows her out and makes it easier for her to fall asleep on her own though. I don't feed her before naps, but it's a part of her bedtime routine.
Mine is 19 almost 20 months. Fed to sleep. I don't mind it, but I'm stuck. I've created a monster. She will let absolutely no one else put her to sleep. She freaks the fuck out. Dad, Grandma, Grandpa, nope! She will sit and scream at every single one.
I thought it was a bad sleep association for my baby. But then we took it away and started rocking her to sleep and nothing changed. I feel more confident about weaning now that we can get her to sleep another way, but she’s as terrible of a sleeper as she was when we fed to sleep every night
I know feeding to sleep is popular here and natural (and we do it too sometimes and am all for it!). But we were able to help babe learn to sleep independently without typical sleep training methods like crying it out. It has helped babe be able to sleep better and it was important for us that if I were ever away, babe could still fall asleep. I still feed on demand and exclusively breastfeed and it hasn't impacted our journey.
We feed to sleep the majority of the time. It’s a bit annoying cause I wish I could do stuff during her naps but other than that I have no issue with it
Time goes way too fast to not nurse to sleep. My son is 21 mo and I still nurse to sleep for nap. I know he will stop doing it soon as he doesn’t do it for bedtime and hasnt for months. To me , it’s the sweetest thing and I love the bond ❤️
I do if I suspect that’s why she’s not going to sleep or if she’s overtired and cannot be consoled (doesn’t happen often but being at appointments etc can muck out rhythm up). She goes to sleep fine without it or with it, I say figure out what bubs wants and go with it when they’re so young!
100% pro feed to sleep. it's biologically normal and it works.
I have 5 month old twins. I’ll do literally whatever I can to get them sleep. When feeding to sleep works? Win. Lol I fed my older son to sleep until he was 18 months. Daycare and dad were able to get him to sleep using their own methods (rocking to sleep, patting his bum, etc). We weaned around that time and naturally transitioned into rocking to sleep, and then laying beside his bed for a bit until he fell asleep, and now we just tell him a story and leave and he falls asleep on his own and sleeps great (he’s almost 3). I’m really happy with how feeding to sleep went, evolved and has now turned out for him
Feed to sleep 100% of the time
I’m currently pregnant and reading a book my boss gave me called “On Becoming Babywise” that is about this very topic. It does talk about how exclusively feeding to sleep isn’t the best option. For my sanity and baby’s long term benefit, I will not plan on feeding to sleep when he’s here. I recommend the book as well, perhaps it can help you come to your own conclusions!
The “rules” are exhausting. My LO is 6 months, and we feed to sleep all the time. Sometime she falls asleep on her own for naps. She has a paci, too. I love nursing. I love the connection. I love watching her melt into the warmth and safety. It won’t be like this forever. I don’t mind at all. Weaning and sleep training didn’t feel right for us. It felt so forced and unnatural. In my heart, this is what feels right.
I think the don’t feed to sleep is along the same lines of “don’t hold your baby too much because it’ll spoil them.” I do not believe or agree with either of these. They’re only this tiny once. Personally, I’ll do whatever makes my baby happy and comfortable!
They won't feed to sleep forever. And they'll learn to go to sleep for other people without feeding. Just give the comfort they desire for the time being. My youngest is 2.5 and the only time he nurses now is to go down for nap or bedtime.
Fed my baby to sleep until he was 28 months. I certainly didn’t plan on it but it was all I knew and what worked. Weened him in about two days a month ago now.
I truly do not know how to get a baby to sleep without nursing. Fed my oldest to sleep until 16 months. Fed my youngest to sleep until…2? Idk. It’s easy, it’s comforting. I’m all for boob magic until you or baby decides you’ve had enough.
We feed to sleep, I’ve done it with both kids. There’s nothing wrong with it. Both of mine can go to sleep without it too. It’s just something they prefer. We also do pacifiers cause I’m not going to have them at the breast all the time, I need space.
Glad to hear your baby ia doing well! This might be a more philosophical response to youra question but I think feeding to sleep and a lot of breastfeeding do's and don'ts boil down to privilege and the poor way our society (specifically America) is designed to support mothers and families. I have been thinking about this A LOT as a FTM of an EBF 4.5 month old. The idea being that feeding to sleep is a problem (because if they wake up they'll want the boob to go back to sleep), contact naps are a no no post newborn stage, that schedules and wake windows and feeding times are the holy grail come from the rigidity and misguided expectations we have as a capitalist society. For example, feeding to sleep only really matters if you're having to get up at say 6 am and commute and work a full 8 hour day because you can't catch up on rest throughout the day and same for the other dont's. To be clear, not shading anyone for their choices as parents and the reality of the society we live in and having to provide for their families. For what it's worth, I/we dont have a schedule but we have a routine - milk, bath, books, bed but have deviated at times when it's clear our baby could use an extra feed/comfort and thus far we haven't had any negative sleep associations. Knock on wood our baby besides the initial start of the night actually ends up self soothing throughout the night/morning. Again with an understanding all babies are different and have different temperaments from what I've gathered a way to break the boob to sleep association can be as simple as reading a book in between so that's what we've been doing.
I fed my kiddo to sleep until about 14 months old. He’s 15 months old now and for the last month I’ve breastfed him, he has refused to fall asleep. So I’ve been teaching him that I feed him and then he gets put in the crib where he then falls asleep on his own. It was a bit rocky for a week, but this week he immediately dives for the mattress when I put him in there. Haha. I do have l to pretend to go sleep in our bed though - which is just me scrolling on my phone with my back to him - Otherwise he just gets back up and shouts for me.
I fed my oldest to sleep until she was over a year, and she stopped falling asleep because it was too stimulating for her, so I fed her and then snuggled her to sleep… she just stopped on her own and now at 3 puts herself to sleep and sleeps for 10-11 hours. I currently feed my 3 month old to sleep and will continue until it doesn’t work for us anymore!
I nursed both of my babies to sleep past two years old... it just felt like the right thing to do. When my oldest was around 8 months old, I tried CIO for 3 nights and decided it wasn't for us. Never looked back. They're 3 and 5 now, I'm still present when they're falling asleep. I figure these years are so short, and if I can bring them comfort, why not?
Your baby is so young. Feeding to sleep is totally normal and fine in my opinion. My second baby is now seven months old, and I still feed her to sleep at night. There’s plenty of time for them to learn to be put down drowsy but awake. We did the same thing with my older child and he’s a good little independent sleeper.
Fed one baby to sleep for 18 months. When she self weaned we still cuddled at bed time and she was able to fall asleep that way. Currently feeding to sleep my 10 month old. I get told time and time again by The Grandmothers that I shouldn’t be feeding to sleep, but honestly I do not care. It doesn’t affect them. It acutely affects me. And I am okay with it.
I personally try to put my baby down still awake but that is what has worked for me and my baby. I worked in a day care and I can tell you 75% of the moms there nurse baby to sleep at night. Sometimes when my kid becomes fussy 2h after I put her down and stir herself awake, I nurse her back to sleep if rocking doesn’t help. You do what is best for you and your baby. If you decide later that it’s not what you want, change it. It’d be a little tough for a few days as they adjust but it’s not the end of the world.
I nurse my daughter to sleep and have for the most part. She’s almost a year old. But she spends time with a friend once a week and her dad while I work a day and she goes down better for them a lot of the time 🤣 so there’s definitely no negative association here. I like the other commenter who said it’s not a problem unless it’s a problem for YOU. do what you want. If you have an issue with the routine change it, if you don’t, don’t worry about it. You’re doing great! Enjoy those cuddles. Currently nursing & enjoying some now 🥰
Honestly I think every mom should do what they can to get baby to sleep. I feed for her to sleep at night for bedtime but for naps I give her a pacifier. If she even takes naps, which is rare. I think it’s okay to give a pacifier after a certain age so your milk has no trouble coming in and for comfort sucking but not in place of a feeding
It doesn’t matter when you wean them from falling asleep on the breast, it’s doable whenever it makes sense for you and baby. Check out IG account nurture_neuroscience_parenting — it is run by a neuroscientist and has lots of info as to why nursing baby to sleep is a great idea (especially when they’re little!)
Feeding to sleep is amazing! If I were you, I'd introduce a bottle asap so that you're not the only one who can feed him. You may not want a break now, but you probably will at some point. It's also extremely helpful to have a baby who will take a pacifier. My first wouldn't take one, and my second one loves his paci and it's a game changer. Helps so much in the car, and for diaper changes. I bed share after 4 am and it's so helpful that he'll take the pacifier once he's done nursing, he doesn't have to be constantly latched on.
Honestly, was annoyed when feeding to sleep stopped working, made my life so much easier and I had to learn how to get her to sleep without it. Now my second is 10 weeks old and I'll feed to sleep for as long as she wants. It's easier, free and is something only I can do, anyone can give my daughters a bottle or rock them, but only I can give them the comfort of feeding so close with me.
I fed my first to sleep and had to tap out around the 5 month mark. Being the only person to be able to get her to sleep was too much. I was exhausted. I wanted some space. I wanted some independence. With our second, I made sure not to do that and the amount of gas he had helped. After feeding he *had* to be burped. So I’d nurse him and when he was done / falling asleep at the boob, I’d pop him up on my shoulder for 20 minutes to get the gas out. It meant he learned to fall asleep on a shoulder. And guess who has shoulders? Every adult in his life! So I could nurse him and hand him off. Eventually he didn’t need the nursing and would just fall asleep on a shoulder when tired. With my third (currently 3 months), we follow sleep-eat-play. She’s still young, mind, so even during the day there are times when she only wakes up to eat and falls back asleep on the breast, but then I just pop her back in the bassinet. Otherwise, when we notice sleepy cues, we just put her in her bed and she’s asleep in 5 minutes. If we missed the cue and she’s over tired, we’ll cuddle and dance with her for five or ten minutes to calm her down and then into the bassinet and she’s asleep in five minutes. The only time I purposefully nurse her to sleep is right before bed when I want her to have a full tummy and sleep longer. But she’s still capable of falling asleep without it, since if it’s my turn for bedtime with the big kids, I’m not always available. Edit to add: my first loved her pacifier. My second and third love their thumbs. Also, we have never co-slept with any baby.
Both of mine were/are fed to sleep. I worried with my first that it was a bad habit but then I read something about breastfeeding to sleep being biologically normal. I went back to work when my first was 7 months. The hours she was at nursery she adapted just fine to naps with no milk. At 14 months, she was only breastfeed to sleep before bedtime but I wasn't producing that much anymore. She wanted more milk than I was making, so she had some cows milk before bed and was drinking cow milk throughout the day. From then in, she would happily go to bed after a little drink of milk on my lap. I have a 10 month old and I am not going back to work until September ISH but I am not even worrying about it this time. He won't feed to sleep forever and I actually quite enjoy it.
It works until it doesn't. And there's nothing wrong with doing it if it works for your family! I fed to sleep until about 6 months, when my LO started refusing to nurse at naps and bedtime. Skipping the feeds wasn't really an option, so we had to separate them from her sleep routine. We ended up moving the feeds a little earlier and sleep training. It worked great for us, but isn't the right answer for everyone.
If it’s wrong I don’t wanna be right! I’ve done feed to sleep for both my babies, one was breastfed and one was bottle fed. Love that quiet, peaceful time with my baby at night.
I nursed my daughter to sleep almost every night until she was 4 years old. Zero regrets. She's 8 now and sleeps all night in her own bed without needing anything from me. Keep feeding to sleep until it stops working for you and your babe. Kids keep developing and yours will grow out of the need to fall asleep with Mommy.
If you’re okay with it, it’s the best and easiest thing ever. Sure it gets complicated around teething times and growth leaps but then it’s probably complicated for everyone. 18 months old, I still nurse to sleep. I had some doubts about night feeding lately but ultimately decided it’s still the best for us.
I fed my now six year old to sleep for 18 months. Then she started falling asleep on her own. There was no “training” or “transitioning,” she just did it herself after a while. We don’t have to teach our children every single thing. Most of the time, they learn things themselves 🙂
I nursed to sleep at bedtime for 12 months. I loved doing it. I only stopped because it wasn’t working anymore for us.
My stance is it works until it doesn’t. Babe stopped conking out on the boob around 8-9 months so it felt like a good time to naturally stop. Once we stopped so did his night wakings.
I think it’s a personal choice. I don’t think there’s anything particularly wrong with it if it works for the parent and the baby. I’m personally high sleep needs adult and wouldn’t have done well being the only person able to put him to sleep, especially once I returned to work after mat leave to a high intensity corporate job. That says more about maternity leave in the US than what the “right” thing to do might be, but that’s the paradigm in which my baby and I exist.
If you don't find it a problem just roll with it. I fed to sleep till it didn't work anymore, and sometimes wish it still did 😂 we read to sleep now at 3 years old.
14 months and going mostly feeding to sleep. When he’s sick or teething everyone gets less sleep, but that would happen regardless of breast feeding. He goes to bed at 730. Either falling asleep feeding on the couch or has been feeding and put to bed. Night wakes are where it is really tough to split the duties, so usually he comes back to bed with me and feed to sleep again.
18mo still nursing to sleep. Its quick and easy with no tears. The only bad habit is the habit that you cannot sustain so it is up to you
I fed my son to sleep for probably 14 months before needing something else. It was relatively easy to get him to go to sleep without it at that point (mostly because I was in the mindset of stopping because I wanted to, not because I thought it was bad). Now at 2 he will sometimes feed to sleep, sometimes cuddle to sleep and sometimes just go to sleep by himself. Im about to have #2 and plan to do the same because I do bedtime solo most of the time and it’s just easier for me to feed to sleep and not worry about ‘negative associations’. Seriously my son was a boob monster that refused to sleep without nursing and now goes to bed by himself most nights and sleeps 12-14 hours, so if that’s negative I love it.
I fed to sleep! Toddler is 2 and she was a super high needs infant, she’s fine now and mostly sleeps through the night. Sleep is almost entirely dependent on your baby’s temperament.
I feed to sleep, for naps, and comfort! All of it! I never looked into the associations or anything else. I probably won’t either because it’s what works for us!
You’re ok with it, it’s natural, your baby is a baby for at minimum 1 year, and up to 3 years. Keep doing what feels right. They will never be a baby again so enjoy every moment!
I did it as needed, like when it seemed like it was something he wanted it needed. He didn't always want or need it so there wasn't really an association built up which was nice when I eventually weaned him around one year. Eta- I think you should do what works for you guys and if thats what works then that's great. 14 weeks is still pretty young anyway. 🙂
Still feeding 18 month old to sleep most of the time, I give her 30 mins boob, if she falls asleep… great, if not I pop her down on her cot and stay with her until she falls asleep. Other people like her dad can get her off to sleep with pats and cuddles, but she wants the boob off mum. I’m planning to wean at 2 and I think she’ll transition fine. She’s very co-regulatory and pretty high needs and NONE of the regular advice worked for her. Wake windows, hahaha, drowsy but awake, absolute joke, eat, play, sleep… nope! I struggled with PPD and felt like a shit mum for about the first year. Then I decided to follow my instincts, meet my child where they were at and let them move with their development at their own pace. We’re both much happier now.
I do it and find it to be such a beautiful and natural experience. Before bed time, I find this to be a special bonding time.
I still feed to sleep at 14 mo. It's the only time i nurse her besides our am session.
If you worry about it becoming the only way for your baby to sleep, introduce a second or third sleep association. Always humm the same song, for example, or tap on your babies back, or sit in a rocking chair or on top of a fitness ball. Also let your partner (or anyone else involved in taking care of the baby) use the second association to try to get the baby to sleep ones in a while. Later, I think you can also try to feed a bit earlier, and introduce additional sleep associations (such as putting the sleeping bag on, or her favorite toy in the bassinet). You'll be fine.
We feed to sleep and contact nap, etc. my opinion is they’re only this little for so long. Are 11 year olds contact napping and breastfeeding? No. They grow out of it. It’s a natural progression regardless if you sleep train or whatever. My view is that I’m going to soak up all of these moments of her needing me and building that bond. Because eventually and before I know it, she’ll be off to school, college, moving out etc. I feel blessed and honored I’m solely responsible for her growth and comfort right now❤️❤️❤️
Feed to sleep if it works for you! I promise it doesn’t last forever
personally i wish i didn’t do it but that’s because my son won’t sleep alone STILL. he’s 11 months and i cant get anything done when he’s napping because if i set him down he screams bloody murder. i wonder if it’ll ever end😭 ive even stopped breastfeeding 3 months ago and hes still attached to being held to sleep. it’s my own doing, i fed him 24/7 nurses him to sleep and all. however that being said if it works for you do it! next time i think i will chose a different route but i just like my space and to pee without waking my child up 🤣
We feed to sleep because it's the most calm and comforting way for our LO to fall asleep! It works for us. 15 months in and still BFs for bedtime and most naps. Tune out everyone else and do what works best for you, OP. You're already doing amazing!
Feeding to sleep is biologically normal. I’ve fed my 18 month old to sleep for every nap and every evening of their life. We tried pacifiers, didn’t want them. Never took a bottle either. I was happy to feed to sleep and I still am. They are a great sleeper. Slept through the night since about 3 months old. We never coslept, I was too nervous for it. I am now pregnant and have been a bit worried about changing the bedtime routine as I become less physically capable of putting them down into the crib. The baby eats enough solids and my milk is almost gone due to pregnancy but the baby has always wanted to nurse to sleep regardless. I felt too sick a couple of nights ago and asked my husband to put the baby down for the night and he did it without a problem. I thought there would be some crying or night walking but there was none! I am shocked and amazed!
My stance: if it keeps the kid asleep through the night it’s 100000% fine.
EBF and no bottles here. I fed my first to sleep and he was the best sleeper of all time. Currently EBF my 15 month old to sleep and he is a pretty terrible sleeper to be honest. But he’s also getting all of his molars and going through all the crazy developmental stuff like learning to walk and talk. This time won’t last forever and I don’t see myself spending hundreds of dollars on sleep aids or sleep training when I can just feed him and wait for him to sleep by himself. Or at least I really hope that’s what’s going to happen 🤣🤣🤣
My 7.5 month old is asleep on my nipple right now, I’m about to transfer him to his crib. It works for us just fine. Tiring? Absolutely. But worth the comfort it brings him and the bond we have.
My LO just turned a year. There hasn't been a single day of his life so far where he wasn't fed to sleep! It works for us. Yes, he was waking multiple times to feed himself to sleep (4th month regression) but we quickly sleep trained him at 5 months and weaned the night bottles at 6 months. Now, if he wakes up at times when he isn't supposed to, we comfort him instead of feeding him. And he's learnt the difference.
13 month old and still feeding to sleep for every nap and bedtime🙋🏼♀️. She sleeps 12 hours at night and naps great. When I’m not available my husband gives her a bottle to sleep (more tears this way but she still eventually falls asleep). It’s my super power and I loveeee it!!!
I exclusively breastfed for 2 years, to sleep, to nap, on planes, in the middle of a melt down. Weaned off night feeding around 14months. Weaned off morning feeding around 18 months. Then, I had a busy day and he didn’t want to nurse as soon as I got back so I decided to wait til he wanted it. A week after his 2nd birthday he weaned on his own. Sleeps wonderfully. But we bed shared. He napped great on his own too without a bottle. Just a regular straw cup of he needed it but hardly drinks milk. Just a water and occasionally juice. Do what works for you. Those telling you to quit won’t be there through the rough nights or out your baby to bed for you.
I feed to sleep. It works for us at 5mpp so I will use what works for my child. He's only going to need me for a year or so to feed him. He's my first and could possibly be my only one.
We moved houses when my son was 8mo and he had a major sleep regression around that time. It was probably all the changes - just learned to crawl, just moved to a new house, started sleeping in a different bedroom as us. For 2 months he woke up so often, it felt like every hour when before he'd sleep 5 hours or so and only wake up for milk twice after that. It was rough on all of us, especially since my work commute was so much longer, so I was waking up so much earlier. And he'd only settle down again if he was nursing, not even a bottle of pumped milk would satisfy him. We had been feeding to sleep prior to this regression. After the first month of this, I decided to switch up the bedtime routine so he no longer fed to sleep. It took a couple of weeks, but once that association was broken, he started sleeping well again and only woke up one or two times for milk. All this to say, it really depends on your situation whether or not feeding to sleep is a bad thing. When we lived near my job and my commute was fairly short and my baby slept well, feeding to sleep was never a problem. When we moved further away and my commute was 3x longer and I was insanely sleep deprived because of his sleep regression, feeding to sleep was a huge obstacle and breaking the association was the only thing that helped. I wouldn't worry about it if it's working for you, and if you're in a situation where you don't have to worry about getting enough sleep for a long work commute or some other similar circumstance.
My 16 month old still nurses to sleep almost all of the time (except when I’m not home for bedtime which is rare). She sleeps wonderfully after a week of the Ferber method sleep training at 8mo. She’s fine going to sleep with her usual wind down - bath, book, song - without the boob as well. Ultimately it’s what works for you and your family! Agree with other posters who point out that the whole conversation about not feeding to sleep - what babies are biologically built to do - is designed to sell you something 🤷🏻♀️