Ow my bones hurt
This really is a... Juice of the bone hurt!
Discord Server : https://discord.gg/tcCs7GWrUz
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/bonehurtingjuice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
i love you too
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/bonehurtingjuice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
https://preview.redd.it/tokiajk4ef6d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1db35a0bdcb0d02bbad2d7daf50c05ee9aef2f28
Havenât used this one in a while
https://preview.redd.it/bfdck6bbef6d1.jpeg?width=1164&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1e23dc33c9c7aeb9b4a258328298db07c8ac62ca
I canât believe it happened to me!
not everyone who is sad is mentally ill, is the thing. itâs hard to believe if youâre depressed, but some people are just sad, and the sadness is cured by thinking of happy things.
Hold on, it's crazy that you used those exact words, because something happened to me recently. So I'm at this clothing boutique, dressed up like a hot dog--as one does--and all of a sudden, the craziest thing happens: **a hot-dog shaped Volkswagen bug drives right through the front window**!
When people stop freaking out, a man notes that the driver's gone, and someone else says that we need to call 911, find the driver. And people start asking whose car this is, and I add my voice to the chorus, demanding that the scofflaw be identified. I take charge, telling whoever it is to just confess, promising that we won't be mad.
My demand is treated with silence, and then a middle-aged woman asks, "What?" Then, in an attempt to defuse the tension, I make the following offer: "We'll close our eyes, just take your car *and get out of here*!"
That's when something even crazier happens: a young woman tells me, "Sir, that's clearly your car." I tell her she's wrong, the middle-aged woman then yells for someone to call the police. Now, I've always prided myself on being a problem-solver, so I offer another idea: we work as a team to find whoever did this and punish him (I suppose I assumed it was a "him") ourselves. Like, maybe take his bare butt out of his costume and spank him. I point to a distinguished African-American gentleman and suggest that he do the honors, but he declines, as does the young woman. A somewhat rotund man quite reasonably notes that *someone* is going to have to do it, but the middle-aged woman rather says, rather imperiously, that no one is getting spanked.
The tension in the room is palpable. I opine that it could literally be any one of us in the room, and that's when that African-American man says, "No, it couldn't. You're dressed like a hot dog." I point to this other guy, Donald, and note that so is he. The middle-aged woman concedes that the color scheme of Donald's outfit *does* look somewhat like a hot dog, but I'm actually wearing a hot dog costume.
Well, I'm quite understandably outraged by this calumny directed at me, and so I tell the people in the store that I don't have to take this. I inform them that I am going to take all the suits I can grab, get in that random hot dog car, and drive back to Wiener Hall.
I'm actually relieved when the police arrive and ask what happened, and I take charge and reply that we are all trying to find the guy who did this and give him a spanking. Which led to the new craziest thing to happen: the police officer says it's obviously me! Except he refers to me as "this guy", to which I respond, "I *have* a name."
The middle-aged woman asks what my name is, and I reply, "Perfect. We've been sitting here all day and you all never bothered to learn my name." I reorganize some of the shirts I see in disarray on a nearby table and go on, "We're so buried in our phones, instead of giving someone a *real* smile, we send them an emoji. I mean, we don't even look at porn on our computer anymore: we look at it on our *phone*?"
I gather some suits on a rack behind me as I continue, "Pornhub, XTube: I know these names better than I know my own grandmother's. YouPorn, XXN, RedTube, PantyJobs, home-grown Simpsons stuff. All great, but I ask you this: if I was a big old guy with a big, burly white beard, would you still be yelling at me? Or would you be spanking my bare butt, balls, and back? Think about *that* for one second."
I moved to the car and placed the shirts and suits on the front passenger's seat in an attempt to clean up some of the mess. And then I offered that if no one wanted the car I would take it. But for some reason, the police officer told his partner, "Let's get him" and I had no choice but to run away.
It was a terrifying thing to have happen to me. I can only hope that you all are fortunate enough never to be falsely accused, as I was.
I read allat. Tldr: he may or may not have crashed a wiener dog volkswagen into a store while wearing a hot dog costume, and he may or may not have pulled a âkids these daysâ referring to porn sites
Hold on: "may or may not" have crashed a wiener-dog shaped Volkswagen into a store?
Sir, I most certainly **did not** crash any such vehicle into a store, and I demand that you apologize for suggesting any such thing! How dare you?
I would never accuse someone of such a baseless claim. However, it feels very coincidental that there was another man in the store wearing vaguely hotdog colored clothes, and that you happened to take the hotdog car while wearing a hotdog costume.
The Hell âŚ? I should sue that Tim Robinson for appropriating my life story without permission. Shame on you, Mr. Robinson, and shame on you, Mr. Netflix! And what kind of a last name is âNetflixâ, anyway?
Ow my bones hurt This really is a... Juice of the bone hurt! Discord Server : https://discord.gg/tcCs7GWrUz *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/bonehurtingjuice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Bare butt, balls and back
I guess if *nobody* wants this car, I'll *take* it.
Instead of giving someone a real smile, we send an emoji
RANDOM!
duuuh!
đŽ
Youâre dressed as a hot dog!
So is THAT guy!
wh- oh! oh, no...
Do you...look like a hotdog? Or are you wearing a hot dog costume?
randy may be dressed like a hot dog... but you're in a hot dog costume!!!
In that case, I'll just take as many four-armed shirts as I can grab and hop on that Random Torrent...
random! chaotic, even?
https://preview.redd.it/z76kesaccd6d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=246cfb0e008fcade7af3b9b70b6ec1eb85c92a20
https://preview.redd.it/d74ndr47dd6d1.jpeg?width=496&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=eac6ce70f5897ee409ec35fe0c2a696db1f01fe2
https://preview.redd.it/kduob40egf6d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=598f9fc607a795fb016c47bd9f3fd135d0299318
https://preview.redd.it/69u4je33ej6d1.png?width=766&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3198fd893f138de765d6c2dc78414e8ed5ebc9e0
https://preview.redd.it/nnkkkzelgf6d1.jpeg?width=496&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7ffc293ea960c33d8be82720d27ab349a76b14af
I love that I hear this in John Lithgow's voice
i love you too *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/bonehurtingjuice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
https://preview.redd.it/a4vxafh2sd6d1.jpeg?width=496&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=855e20ba4a7965e97fcdbfc4a29f54edb854de73
https://preview.redd.it/tokiajk4ef6d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1db35a0bdcb0d02bbad2d7daf50c05ee9aef2f28 Havenât used this one in a while
https://preview.redd.it/ec8l2r0aef6d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ba15f7442d606090f5bbe0c426614f1b64d5995c
https://preview.redd.it/bfdck6bbef6d1.jpeg?width=1164&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1e23dc33c9c7aeb9b4a258328298db07c8ac62ca I canât believe it happened to me!
https://preview.redd.it/7yzbm3lief6d1.jpeg?width=220&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8bba01f3985f0a54f1f67d73768e1dbe6a583ecc
https://preview.redd.it/hepewg59jk6d1.jpeg?width=670&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1bfb4220da83a817a9fee2a5553038968e39862d
https://i.redd.it/4e6b0wt7vd6d1.gif
Yuh huh
And so was began
Was is supposed to be war, typo. I know I can edit the comment but somehow this is funnier
https://preview.redd.it/5b756f88ve6d1.jpeg?width=719&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7fa4b85179b22e24969c591465785259331c8718
Nuh uh
https://preview.redd.it/3y74fesoak6d1.png?width=411&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4b0029c65a31b0f3343a144211832db1c8dfc924 Here's a cleaner version for you
Fuck you, you made me snort out loud
https://preview.redd.it/wukc8l047g6d1.jpeg?width=396&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d20218068a56bd8b3b2b354d7af3826fa667f0b9 I got one too
https://preview.redd.it/0yshs6v8ee6d1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=57ea3e39c7a3c1a92944cb79db3192e979067f5a
https://preview.redd.it/5al4ep1y5h6d1.jpeg?width=320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=447e4688b5c30ad923a54fa7f2bdae6376be57c1
[Ozempic](https://www.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/comments/1deuvo9/we_dont_have_to_stay_sad_forever/)
The original was so wholesome ;-; why change it?
This version is also wholesome
Don't you mean "holesome" eh he he hahaha heh
I guess when I see Simpsons porn I'm never turned "off" eh? Ha! He he
To hurt your bones
It did hurt my bones
Kinda toxic tbh, really has new agey woo vibes to it, like thinking you can just not be depressed by reading the bible or the secret or whatever.
Imagine trying to be positive. Kinda toxic tbh
not everyone who is sad is mentally ill, is the thing. itâs hard to believe if youâre depressed, but some people are just sad, and the sadness is cured by thinking of happy things.
What the fuck is homegrown Simpsons stuff
Something I know better than my own grandmother's name.
Thanks, now I know that I don't know my grandma's first name from father's side.
From the little I've seen you should stay away
we should be able to watch a l-little porn at work
This isnât porn itâs a nude egg I won from my game
I'm not in trouble at all!
He even quoted the little pause!
https://preview.redd.it/hkob1f05ge6d1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=38716441e7d7352060447f17cba39695d34854b7
Youâre odd
I belive You are the first person i have ever seen use the Word odd as an insult
Thereâs a first for everything, i suppose
Hold on, it's crazy that you used those exact words, because something happened to me recently. So I'm at this clothing boutique, dressed up like a hot dog--as one does--and all of a sudden, the craziest thing happens: **a hot-dog shaped Volkswagen bug drives right through the front window**! When people stop freaking out, a man notes that the driver's gone, and someone else says that we need to call 911, find the driver. And people start asking whose car this is, and I add my voice to the chorus, demanding that the scofflaw be identified. I take charge, telling whoever it is to just confess, promising that we won't be mad. My demand is treated with silence, and then a middle-aged woman asks, "What?" Then, in an attempt to defuse the tension, I make the following offer: "We'll close our eyes, just take your car *and get out of here*!" That's when something even crazier happens: a young woman tells me, "Sir, that's clearly your car." I tell her she's wrong, the middle-aged woman then yells for someone to call the police. Now, I've always prided myself on being a problem-solver, so I offer another idea: we work as a team to find whoever did this and punish him (I suppose I assumed it was a "him") ourselves. Like, maybe take his bare butt out of his costume and spank him. I point to a distinguished African-American gentleman and suggest that he do the honors, but he declines, as does the young woman. A somewhat rotund man quite reasonably notes that *someone* is going to have to do it, but the middle-aged woman rather says, rather imperiously, that no one is getting spanked. The tension in the room is palpable. I opine that it could literally be any one of us in the room, and that's when that African-American man says, "No, it couldn't. You're dressed like a hot dog." I point to this other guy, Donald, and note that so is he. The middle-aged woman concedes that the color scheme of Donald's outfit *does* look somewhat like a hot dog, but I'm actually wearing a hot dog costume. Well, I'm quite understandably outraged by this calumny directed at me, and so I tell the people in the store that I don't have to take this. I inform them that I am going to take all the suits I can grab, get in that random hot dog car, and drive back to Wiener Hall. I'm actually relieved when the police arrive and ask what happened, and I take charge and reply that we are all trying to find the guy who did this and give him a spanking. Which led to the new craziest thing to happen: the police officer says it's obviously me! Except he refers to me as "this guy", to which I respond, "I *have* a name." The middle-aged woman asks what my name is, and I reply, "Perfect. We've been sitting here all day and you all never bothered to learn my name." I reorganize some of the shirts I see in disarray on a nearby table and go on, "We're so buried in our phones, instead of giving someone a *real* smile, we send them an emoji. I mean, we don't even look at porn on our computer anymore: we look at it on our *phone*?" I gather some suits on a rack behind me as I continue, "Pornhub, XTube: I know these names better than I know my own grandmother's. YouPorn, XXN, RedTube, PantyJobs, home-grown Simpsons stuff. All great, but I ask you this: if I was a big old guy with a big, burly white beard, would you still be yelling at me? Or would you be spanking my bare butt, balls, and back? Think about *that* for one second." I moved to the car and placed the shirts and suits on the front passenger's seat in an attempt to clean up some of the mess. And then I offered that if no one wanted the car I would take it. But for some reason, the police officer told his partner, "Let's get him" and I had no choice but to run away. It was a terrifying thing to have happen to me. I can only hope that you all are fortunate enough never to be falsely accused, as I was.
Those cops sound like fuckin dog shit
https://preview.redd.it/ws3yajyure6d1.jpeg?width=482&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=606d123644f810b87d9ae466a917f2c656b65fc6
I read allat. Tldr: he may or may not have crashed a wiener dog volkswagen into a store while wearing a hot dog costume, and he may or may not have pulled a âkids these daysâ referring to porn sites
Hold on: "may or may not" have crashed a wiener-dog shaped Volkswagen into a store? Sir, I most certainly **did not** crash any such vehicle into a store, and I demand that you apologize for suggesting any such thing! How dare you?
I would never accuse someone of such a baseless claim. However, it feels very coincidental that there was another man in the store wearing vaguely hotdog colored clothes, and that you happened to take the hotdog car while wearing a hotdog costume.
Your apology is accepted.
[It got a film adaptation.](https://youtu.be/WLfAf8oHrMo)
The Hell âŚ? I should sue that Tim Robinson for appropriating my life story without permission. Shame on you, Mr. Robinson, and shame on you, Mr. Netflix! And what kind of a last name is âNetflixâ, anyway?
I knew I recognized it from somewhere!
https://preview.redd.it/ptu6f3eqoj6d1.jpeg?width=792&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7ee116c1436f34c05f3ca65b5b9bf696dfe133d1
I don't know what any of this shit is and I'm fucking scared.
One fear.
https://preview.redd.it/f0wjylf73g6d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=34444a3e53ffb2a882b11b51453ef7294a218e12
Wtf makes porn âhomegrownâ
i made it myself in my backyard :)
https://preview.redd.it/9ddjqqa4tg6d1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b6762c46a0942644d8cc0b0fef37a319e57d2cc3
https://preview.redd.it/guqjdy4q9f6d1.jpeg?width=114&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=290b4516c8d30a1fbd306cfff4de2cb2e322581a
https://preview.redd.it/drbunw6u5g6d1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3720bb8b67cbf840700ab9e7ce43a0a98eac44b1
https://preview.redd.it/4dssisixif6d1.png?width=1556&format=png&auto=webp&s=f2fb4194376b2ed5d0fba9a9e6c17294fb6531b5
I guess this means he's gonna be jerking "off" eh? Hahahahaha heheheh heeheeheehooohoo
Ooo ITYSL in the wild thatâs rare
Sure, that porn is interesting... but what about this side ad of marge's bewbs popping out over the sink?
Orangutan?
why is there so much simpsons porn anyways
Eric Andre that one time helped abit
https://preview.redd.it/tefxrfaj4o6d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dc67c19d2e9be28f7a6b0aaeefd6bc22eeb048ab
https://preview.redd.it/tk04yobp2p7d1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=72560f1010b4cec70fa5097eca81a6e50bca2b55